[WOODS, DAY]
[Dogs bark and a woman laughs. Another woman breathes in panic, gasping for breath. RAMSAY and MYRANDA run together, holding hands. They each hold a bow as they run. They are happy, excited and enjoying themselves.]
"What is this?" Catelyn whispered with a frown. "Why are we watching the Bolton bastard and… whoever that whore is."
She remembered who the whore was. She just refused to acknowledge her.
"There must be a reason" Ned whispered. But even he was unsure why they were watching this.
[THEON limps behind them, trying to keep up. The hunting dogs continue to bark.]
"They're letting me run around free?" Theon asked in surprise.
"I wouldn't call that free" Yara said with a frown.
"I see no chains or a rope" Theon pointed out.
"No, but you know what they'll do if you try to escape. What's a bigger chain than fear?" Yara explained.
Theon frowned, head lowered and grumbled to himself.
[TANSY runs through the woods, the hunting dogs barking in pursuit. Further behind are RAMSAY, MYRANDA and THEON. RAMSAY notches an arrow. TANSY pauses at a tree, gasping for breath. RAMSAY's arrow strikes the tree, just inches from her face. She screams and begins running again. MYRANDA expertly notches an arrow and lets it fly. It flies past TANSY, who stumbles down into a muddy stream, gasping and screaming. She scrambles on all fours in panic and pauses to hide in the shadowed stream bed. She sobs. The hunting dogs come barreling down the stream bed towards TANSY. She shrieks and whimpers, and starts running once again. The dogs chase her through a small tunnel and back into the woods proper. MYRANDA lets another arrow fly, with concentration and precision. It hits TANSY in the leg, and she falls, sobbing. The dogs terrorize her. RAMSAY, MYRANDA and THEON catch up.]
"Good girls. Down, girls. Down. Well done. You, too."
"I only wounded her."
"You brought her down. That's what matters. A fine shot. Wasn't it, Reek?"
"A fine shot, master. My lady."
"Reek? Did he just call me Reek?" Theon almost shrieked in outrage. What the fuck kind of name was that?!
"Yes, and you responded to it" Varys answered. "And you called him Master… perhaps your torture has finally taken its toll on your mind."
A shiver ran down his spine. What else had this fucker done that Theon had not seen? Was his cock getting chopped off the last straw? Or was there more that happened after?
"I did whatever you asked."
"But you made Myranda feel jealous."
[MYRANDA lowers her bow, a bit taken aback.]
"Me jealous of her?"
"They don't even have a story set up" Oberyn snorted.
"My lord, please."
"You can see that your presence has become a bit of a problem."
[RAMSAY turns from jaunty to ferocious. At his command, the dogs tear into TANSY. She screams. THEON watches, dejected and powerless. Sounds of ripping flesh and TANSY screaming fill the woods.]
"What was the point?" Ned questioned, shaken up by how ruthless this bastard of Bolton was. "We already knew his nature, what was the point of showing this to us?"
"Ned, I'm a little surprised that you failed to notice it," Jon Arryn called and Ned turned to him with a frown.
"Missed what?" Ned asked.
"How thoroughly planned out all of that was…"
"As if they've done this before to other people." Brandon the Elder said with a chuckle. "If you dig into it, you'll find people to speak against the bastard, meaning you'll have reason to accuse the bastard of whatever sick shit he's done and sentence him!"
"And tie it up to Roose Bolton, since that is his recognised bastard and there was no way he would not have known" Robb spoke with a grin. "We can rid of the Boltons with this!"
Ned thought for a moment, a small smirk on his lips. He understood, and now he plotted. His family would be safe this time…
[KING'S LANDING]
[PODRICK serves sausages to TYRION. JAIME sits at the table, uncomfortably.]
"You're not eating. Why is no one eating? My wife wastes away and my brother starves himself."
Sansa only scoffed at the comment. She was forced to marry the dwarf and lost her brother and mother not too long ago. Of course, she was wasting away and not giggling on wine.
"I'm not hungry."
"You lost a hand, not a stomach. Try the boar. Cersei can't get enough of it since one killed Robert for her."
Robert snorted. He didn't have a retort to that, because if the roles were reversed he'd probably do the same.
"A toast. To the proud Lannister children. The dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness."
[JAIME moves to raise his own cup, but knocks it over clumsily with his left hand.]
"You're not so uncoordinated with your left hand" Tyrion frowned.
"No, but I'm used to reaching things with my right" Jaime pointed out.
"And? You've held and drank shit with your left before."
"When he still had his right hand" Joanna interjected. "I read that a lot changes when you lose a limb. Your balance is off and you lose your sense of perception somehow. Not as bad as when you lose an eye, but the memory of having both limbs messes with how your body moves."
"Interesting" Tyrion muttered.
"I'll clean it up."
"No, I'll do it. Leave us."
[PODRICK exits, while JAIME places his cup right-side up.]
"It's only wine."
[He holds up his own cup and pours it out onto the table.]
"Bloody expensive one I'll guess" Gendry muttered. That was wasteful.
[JAIME sits back in resignation. TYRION stands and pours more wine.]
"I can't fight anymore."
"What about your left?"
"I can hold a sword, but all my instincts are wrong. How can I protect the king when I can hardly wipe my own ass?"
"You're the Lord Commander now."
"Oh! Congratulations on your promotion," Tyrion smirked, raising his glass as a toast.
Jaime smiled, but it did not quite reach his eyes.
"Command. Let others do the fighting. When was the last time Father used a sword?
"I'm not Father. I'm the Kingslayer. When people find out I can't slay a pigeon..."
"Train, then. Learn to fight with your other hand."
"With whom? You? Men talk. Soon as someone discovers I can't fight, he'll tell everyone."
"You need a proper, discreet swordsman. As it happens, I have just the one."
[A ROCKY KING'S LANDING SHORELINE, DAY]
[BRONN appears, carrying some swords. He joins JAIME, who sits by the shore.]
"My brother tells me you can keep your mouth shut. Unusual talent for a sellsword."
"He tells me you shit gold just like your father."
[JAIME tosses a pouch of gold to BRONN. BRONN pockets the gold.]
"You only have the one it seems" Jaime snorted.
"As long as he does the deed, I have no need for more" Tyrion smirked.
[KING'S LANDING, A GARDEN PARTY]
[SANSA, TYRION, JOFFREY, TYWIN, CERSEI, TOMMEN, and PYCELLE sit at an outdoor banquet table. MACE TYRELL stands before them.]
"Seven hells" Olenna muttered. She loved her son like any mother would, but she was not the sort to turn a blind eye to how much of a fool her son was. And now he was going to make a fool of himself somehow before all to see.
"From House Tyrell and the people of the Reach, Your Grace, it is my honour to present you with this wedding cup. May you and my daughter Margaery drink deep and live long."
"A handsome goblet, my lord. Or shall I call you Father?"
"Suck up" Arya muttered with a roll of his eyes.
[MACE bows and exits. SHAE brings a tray to the table and sets it before SANSA.]
"She's the whore I told you about. The dark-haired one."
"Have her brought to the Tower of the Hand before the wedding."
"Ah, so they have found me out," Tyrion said with pursed lips. He worried how this will come to bite him in the ass, no doubt his father would use Shae to teach him a lesson.
[PODRICK places a large tome before JOFFREY and TYRION walks to the front of the table]
"The Lives of Four Kings. Grand Maester Kaeth's history of the reigns of Daeron the Young Dragon, Baelor the Blessed, Aegon the Unworthy, and Daeron the Good. A book every king should read."
[JOFFREY is at a loss for words. TYWIN entreats him to respond.]
"Now that the war is won, we should all find time for wisdom. Thank you, Uncle."
"He… thank you" Jaime blinked slowly.
"I'm just as shocked as you are" Tyrion muttered.
[TYRION bows. SHAE watches. THE MOUNTAIN brings forth a sword and lays it on the table before JOFFREY. TYWIN stands.]
"One of only two Valyrian steel swords in the capital, Your Grace, freshly forged in your honour."
"As if Jaime Lannister having one wasn't bad enough" Ned muttered darkly. Jaime Lannister, he may even be okay with eventually (owning to things he'd learned here), but he could not accept this bastard having a part of his family's legacy, reforged or otherwise.
[Excitedly, JOFFREY walks around the table. Exuberantly, he unsheaths the sword. JOFFREY steps away, then spins and cleaves the book that TYRION just gave him, repeatedly. People gasp in response. JOFFREY is very pleased.]
"That makes more sense" Tyrion rolled his eyes over his goblet of wine.
"Such a great sword should have a name. I shall I call her Widow's Wail. Every time I use it, it'll be like cutting off Ned Stark's head all over again."
"He thinks he would use that" Renly snorted while the Starks fumed at the bastard's comment. Renly was uneasy around blood, and Joffrey was far worse than him in that regard. That sword was going to become as symbolic as House Targaryen's Blackfyre used to be.
With that thought, he wondered whether Tywin Lannister forged two swords to match Blackfyre and Dark Sister. Knowing the man, he wouldn't be surprised.
[STANNIS'S STORMLANDS ARMY CAMP, NIGHT]
[A woman screams. A line of men are bound on top of unlit bonfires, including AXELL FLORENT. The soldiers mill about, carrying torches.]
"Isn't that your good brother?" Renly questioned. "I know you didn't like us, but to think you'd dislike your good brother too" he clicked his tongue teasingly.
The vein in Stannis' jaw jumped, but he had no comment to it. Not when his future self was burning the man alive.
"Sire, I served you well. Selyse, you're my sister!"
[SELYSE chants with the others]
"Huh, she doesn't like him either. Guess you are meant for each other" Renly hummed.
[The bonfires ignite quickly. The men scream in agony and die.]
"Did you see? Their souls. It was their souls. Our lord took them. Did you see?"
"Your wife is damaged in the head" Robert grunted.
"She was hopeless and now she has something to hope for. People do crazy things for hope" Stannis defended his wife.
"Even burn their brother?" Renly asked.
Stannis had no response to that.
"Lord Florent was your brother by law."
"He was an infidel."
"Infidel! Never thought I'd see the day you're this fanatic about your religion" Renly snorted.
"He worshipped the gods of his fathers and their fathers before him. They were the gods of your fathers, too."
"I ordered him to tear down his idols. He disobeyed."
"How many ships did he bring to your 'cause? How many men?"
"A good deal more than you."
"And now he is burned and dead. Loyalty truly gets you places" Renly muttered with a smirk.
Stannis inhaled and exhaled deeply to get a handle on his emotions. 'I have not done this yet!' was a shit defence, especially against the man he kills with black magic. If he's done it in the future, it was in his nature all along. There was no defending that, loathe as he was of that side of him.
[KING'S LANDING, THE SEPT OF BAELOR]
[MARGAERY and MACE walk down the aisle. MACE hands her to JOFFREY. The pair continue up the steps to the HIGH SEPTON. He places a cape over her shoulders. They clasp hands and they are bound together. The HIGH SEPTON announces they are now married in the eyes of the Seven and they pledge their vow with a kiss. TYWIN and OLENNA talk in the garden after as the wedding guests filter out.]
"Bit much, wouldn't you say?"
"It's a royal wedding" Joanna rolled her eyes. Tywin never understood extravagance and its need.
"It feels proportionate to the expected extravagance."
"People who spend their money on this sort of nonsense tend not to have it for long."
"You ought to try enjoying something before you die. You might find it suits you."
"Good luck with that" Joanna muttered. She had tried, and failed, to get Tywin to enjoy these things.
[MACE approaches and tries to join them.]
"Not now, Mace. Lord Tywin and I are speaking."
[TYWIN and OLENNA continue, while MACE rears back.]
"Grandmother" Margaery sighed tiredly.
Olenna shrugged. "He was going to simper and lick Lannister's ass. We are clearly having a more important conversation" she explained.
Margaery could only shake her head with another sigh.
"Anyway, I don't know what you're complaining about. I'm paying my share."
"Shall we stick golden roses in half the meat pies to commemorate your generosity?"
"No, your heartfelt thank you is its own reward. I would imagine I'd be hearing it again before long. Wars are rather expensive. "The Iron Bank will have its due." How they love to remind everyone. Almost as much as you Lannisters with your debts."
"I'm not worried about the Iron Bank."
"That means he's worried," Jaime said with a frown. The debt, House Lannister alone could pay it off easily. So what was his father worried about?
[THE WEDDING RECEPTION, THE HEAD TABLE]
[JOFFREY watches the party. OLENNA approaches SANSA.]
"You look exquisite, child. The wind has been at you, though. I haven't had the opportunity to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your brother. War is war, but killing a man at a wedding, horrid. What sort of monster would do such a thing?"
"You have something planned" Margaery whispered.
"Perhaps" Olenna mused. She definitely had something planned.
[TYRION enters and sits.]
"Lord Tyrion, you see? Not as bad as all that. Perhaps if your pauper husband were to sell his mule and his last pair of shoes, he might be able to afford to bring you to Highgarden for a visit. Now that peace has come and all is right with the world, it would do you good to see some of it. You must excuse me. It's time I ate some of this food I paid for."
[MARGAERY is enjoying the performance, but JOFFREY is bored. He stands and throws some coins at them. The musicians scramble to pick up the coins and depart quickly. MARGAERY moves to calm JOFFREY. JOFFREY stands and clanks his goblet for attention. The crowd applauds as JOFFREY sits and MARGAERY stands.]
"We are so fortunate to enjoy this marvellous food and drink. Not all among us are so lucky. To thank the gods for bringing the recent war to a just end, King Joffrey has decreed that the leftovers from our feast be given to the poorest in his city."
[The crowd applauds, and JOFFREY adores it. CERSEI comes over to MARGAERY. CERSEI compliments the new Queen and kisses her on each cheek.]
"My sister is a strong woman. It took her a lot to compliment her in that manner without any veiled comments or threats" Tyrion said solemnly.
"Yes, she is. Meaning she is about to do something stupid" Jaime muttered.
Tyion cackled, poking Jaime's arm with his chalice.
Jaime took it and inhaled the content
[LORAS stands in the distance and catches OBERYN's eye as he cuddles with ELLARIA. LORAS accidentally backs into JAIME.]
"Ser Jaime, I'm very sorry."
"Ser Loras, it's quite all right. Your sister looks very beautiful."
"As does yours."
"So, looking forward to your wedding?"
"Yes, very much."
"Our fathers are both rather keen on the prospect. Perhaps they should get married. If you were to marry Cersei, she'd murder you in your sleep. If you somehow managed to put a child in her first, she'd murder him, too, long before he drew his first breath. Luckily for you, none of this will happen because you'll never marry her."
Tyrion sighed dramatically, taking the chalice back from his brother.
"You have lost the right to this for that" Tyrion muttered and inhaled the wine once the chalice was completely refilled magically.
Jaime rolled his eyes.
[LORAS pats JAIME on the shoulder, and exits. BRIENNE approaches the head table, and bows. MARGAERY stands and shakes her hand.]
"Lady Brienne. So good of you to come."
"I'm no lady, Your Grace."
"Unless she magically grew a cock" Olenna rolled her eyes.
"Did you just bow?"
"Apologies, Your Grace. I never did master the curtsy."
"You're the one who put a sword through Renly Baratheon."
"That's not true, my love. Brienne had nothing to do with it."
"A shame. I'd knight the man who put an end to that deviant's life."
Renly smiled sharply. How he would enjoy seeing the bastard be killed. And if not killed and exiled… well accidents happen.
"I just wanted to congratulate you both and wish you good fortune. The country has been at war too long. I hope your reign is long and peaceful."
"Yes, yes."
"Thank you. I hope we see more of you."
[BRIENNE departs with a bow, and CERSEI follows. The scene shifts to the head table. PYCELLE has cornered a maid.]
"No, no, come to my chambers and I will examine you personally."
Everyone made a face at the man's actions.
"She'll do no such thing."
"Oh, Your Grace. Yes, well, this young lady sought my advice..."
"You should see Qyburn. He's quite good."
"Your Grace."
[The MAID exits.]
"Qyburn? Deplorable man. Disgraced the Citadel with his repugnant experiments."
"More repugnant than your gnarled fingers on that girl's thighs?"
"Your Grace, I am a man of learning."
"Betting how much he says that every time he corners a maid?" Oberyn challenged out loud.
"None of us here are stupid enough to make a losing bet, Prince Oberyn" Tyrion threw back with a smirk.
Oberyn chuckled.
Robert grumbled softly, looking away to hide his blush. He would have made that bet.
"My little brother had you sent to the Black Cells when you annoyed him. What do you think I could do to you if you annoyed me?"
"I never meant to annoy anyone."
"But you are. You annoy me right now. Every breath you draw in my presence annoys me. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to leave my presence. Leave this wedding right now. Go to the kitchens and instruct them that all the leftovers from the feast will be brought to the kennels.:
Myrcella inhales deeply before exhaling.
"How can she be this petty" the girl seethed. "The food would have helped a lot of people!"
"Your mother does not care about that" Tyrion explained. "Your mother has hardly cared about anyone but herself. This, to undo any good that might be done that is not linked to her? She would do it without a second thought. She is vindictive, selfish, petty and everything else you can imagine."
Myrcella frowned. She did not have an image of her mother being some saint. She was young, not stupid. But she had thought that perhaps Joffrey's happiness would have changed her some since everyone agrees she cares deeply for her children.
Guess Myrcella was wrong about that.