How do you live with yourself?

He fully expects him to move out of the path of the speeding car, refusing to believe that he would choose his friend's honour above his own life. But he should have realized that Granger is a self-sacrificing idiot who would put the physical and mental wellbeing of someone else over his own.

And all too easily at that.

Kai realizes his error in judgement mere seconds before it happens and yells at Enrique to stop the car through the phone. A chill running through his entire body at the sight of a giant four-wheel drive hitting the brakes a few inches away from Granger's prone body.

The brakes are powerful but the vehicle still reaches him and bumps lightly against his knees, throwing him on the ground.

His friends run across the road towards Granger, but Kai doesn't move a muscle. Unable to comprehend what just happened. And what had almost happened.

He didn't move.

He'd chosen Hilary.

What kind of an idiot sacrifices himself for a mere friend? And in the span of a heartbeat.

Kai loosens his grip on his phone where he had gone white-knuckled and steps toward the scene.

Enrique helps Granger to his feet. His form looks shaky as he gets up. Julia hands him his phone and starts fussing over him. The other Blitzkriegs attempt to talk to him.

When Kai is close enough Enrique approaches him and starts yelling in his ear. He tunes him out after the first three sentences.

Yes, I know what had almost happened.

Yes, you could have killed him.

Or severely maimed him.

Granger must overhear because he turns around and Kai holds his breath for some reason.

His eyes find his.

They're teary, wide, still mostly in shock. But they manage to accuse him all the same.

Pin him down to the spot where he is standing despite being several feet away.

They gut him. Judge him so hard it makes him breathless.

I really really don't care what you think of me, Granger. Your opinion means nothing.

A touch. To Tyson's sleeve pulls Kai's gaze to his elbow. Julia wants to take him home.

"I'll drive you," she says, kind and caring.

"No" says Kai, looking at her.

"I think he's had enough," says Julia, stern. "Let him go home."

She steps in front of Tyson and it sets him in motion. He strides towards them and tears her hand away from Granger's arm, settling his own hand there instead. Gripping his forearm.

"Kai, I-" she protests, but he interrupts her.

"I'll take him home," Kai says to her and drags Granger along with him to the Land Cruiser, staring ahead and ignoring the latter's feeble attempt at prying his fingers off of him.

He digs his heels in when Kai opens the door to the passenger seat.

"No" he says looking at Kai. "I'll go back the way I came."

Kai leans towards him. "Get…in" he says in a low voice, not concealing the threat of 'or else' after those two words.

Granger goes speechless at that, all protests dying in his throat as the threat sinks in. His eyes are unbearable. He looks at him like he's just reached a new low. Kai steps back so he can climb into the vehicle and closes the door behind him, walking around the front of the vehicle and sliding into the driver's seat.

He's crying. His face is turned away but Kai can tell from the occasional sniffle and discreet wiping of tears.

Kai stays quiet for the first fifteen or so minutes of the ride. Driving silently. He doesn't feel the need to say anything anyway. The car isn't quiet. Tyson's sniffs are loud in the tiny space. They speak more than enough.

He finds it uncomfortable to breathe the same air because it feels like he can smell his tears.

Something soft and wet.

Tyson calms down after some time and Kai drives a little easier.

They're on a bridge. Crossing speed bumps and gliding down the curve of it, exiting to a road without much traffic.

It's an industrial area. They should arrive at the main part of the city soon.

"Is she really just a friend?" asks Kai after a while.

Granger inhales sharply. "What's it to you?" he asks, defensively.

"I want to know," he says, then adds for good measure, "I want you to give me an honest answer."

His words must trigger him because he sounds like he's in tears again as he answers in a soft voice, "She's my best friend."

"Just a friend?" When Kai glances over he sees a lone tear slide down his right cheek as he stares out the windshield. Tyson doesn't want to talk to him about Hilary at all and Kai is slightly remorseful about forcing him. Ever so slightly.

"She's not just a friend. I've known her since I was little. We grew up together. I've been there for her through everything and-" He gulps when his voice shakes. "And she's been with me through everything too. She means the world to me."

He glances at Kai, who has a tight grip on the wheel. He frowns lightly, confused at the reaction.

He shifts a bit towards the door of the car, wanting to put more space between him and Kai. The proximity unsettles him.

He looks out the windshield, at the other cars and decides to say, "I don't have to love her romantically to care strongly for her."

Kai still has a death grip on the steering, jaw clenched, silent as he drives.

After a minute or so, he relaxes his fingers on the wheel and some of the tension in him leaves his frame. "Will she do the same for you?" he asks, glancing at Tyson. "If the roles were reversed?"

Tyson frowns. "Yes. She doesn't have to. I don't want her to, but yes." The furrow between his brow deepens as he thinks harder and picks his words more carefully because Kai is judging him, drawing conclusions from every sentence. "That doesn't matter though. I would do it even if she reacted differently. It doesn't matter. I would still do it."

"What a white knight you are," comments Kai, making a turn.

That irks him. Tyson falls silent, because there's a few more miles to go and this space is too small to fight with Kai right now.

He inches closer towards the door instead, wanting to run.

A thought occurs to him then. Kai was trying to ruin his relationship with Hilary. Make him choose himself over her and have the blame for the tape leaking fall on him. Hilary would understand of course but he would have chosen his life over hers anyway and the reason the tape was broadcasted would be him. She would blame Kai but deep down, a part of her would blame Tyson too. And Tyson would blame himself too. It would have ruined his life as well.

An anger, of a kind he's never felt before takes hold of him and he can't stop his tongue from saying out loud, "You know you really are a piece of shit."

Minutes pass in silence. He keeps his gaze on the scenery outside the window. And when Tyson glances at Kai's reflection in the glass he sees him not giving a fuck.

"I really don't care what you think of me-" he's saying.

"But you still have to live with yourself," he says, whipping around to face Kai.

A muscle ticks in his jaw.

"How do you do that? How do you live with yourself?"

Kai brings the car to an abrupt stop.

The belt digs into his chest as it holds him back from flying through the glass.

He looks at Kai in outrage.

"Get out" Kai says, pissed off.

Tyson looks out the window and sees that they've reached the dorm. He exhales in slight relief because he'd had a sudden fear that he would be cast into traffic.

He turns to the door and pulls at the handle but it doesn't budge. He tries again and when it doesn't give he looks over his shoulder at Kai, who is gazing straight ahead with a poker face, a finger resting on the lock's controls.

He is deliberately not letting him out.

Tyson looks at him perplexed, his anxiety growing. "What do you want?" he asks, hoping Kai would meet his eyes because that's the closest he can get to reading what he's thinking.

He does. Looks away from the windshield and focuses on Tyson. Dark irises find him and Tyson holds his breath. Not able to tell what he's planning. Tyson keeps his fingers curled around the handle.

Seconds tick by, may be a whole minute. And when nothing happens, he gathers his courage and asks again, voice falling to a whisper, "What do you want?"

Kai blinks, the expression on his face clearing subtly. He turns away and unlocks the door.

Tyson exhales in relief and climbs out of the car much quicker than he had climbed in.

He decides not to tell Hilary about what happened that night. It might just be too much for her. A part of him wants to tell her so she knows how much of an asshole Kai really is and why he should be the last person anyone would want to date. But the more reasonable part of him is aware that she would completely freak out.

And the chances of her finding out through the blitzkriegs is slim. Why would they tell her?

His heart still beats a bit too fast. Finding it difficult to calm down. Sleep evades him and he tosses around on his bed, attempting to think comforting thoughts but his mind is overactive.

What if the driver had been unable to stop the car on time? What would have happened then?

With what confidence had Kai put Tyson's life in that man's hands?

He needs to be more careful, he realizes. Or he might actually end up dead.

Tyson takes his phone into his hand and opens instagram trying to distract himself from the panicked depressing thoughts in his head. He's scrolling through the list of people who have seen his last story out of habit when he sees a name at the top that makes him freeze.

Seen 50 seconds ago… Kai H.

Why is he checking his story? He doesn't follow him. Which means he searched for him and looked at his page and his story. Why?

Tyson looks through his notifications fearing any further activity from him, but there isn't anything else. Just the viewing of his story which is a pic of him taken that afternoon on the field with a jersey on, sitting on a bleacher and squinting at the camera against the sun with a bottle of water in one hand and a lazy smile on his face.

He obviously looked at his page too. For what reason and why so late at night? Tyson wonders. He sets his phone on the nightstand having failed the mission to distract himself, chewing on his lip. He spends the rest of the night trying to escape from his thoughts.

Before long, the sun is breaking over the horizon and he starts his new day.

As soon as he steps out of the dorm it starts raining. Tyson grits his teeth, pushing through despite not carrying an umbrella with him. Hilary meets him outside of their favorite cafe, standing under the awning of the shop safe from the rain. She tuts disapprovingly as he reaches her.

"You know I wouldn't have minded if you were a bit late," chides Hilary, sliding a hand into his hair and ruffling it to get the water out.

He shakes his hair out too. "I didn't want to be late though." He flashes her a smile. Hilary pinches his cheek.

"Stubborn" she scolds fondly.

They head inside.

"I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday," he says thoughtlessly as he scarfs a sandwich down. Hilary bugs out her eyes.

"What? Why?"

Oh shit

"I forgot," he says, looking at her guiltily. It's true. He did forget. Or rather his appetite died in Kai's presence.

Hilary sighs like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. "Tyson, I don't know how many times I have to repeat this but please remember to take of yourself. Please!"

"I will" he promises, mentally kicking himself for getting so swept up in The Beef (which is what he's decided to call the ongoing war with Kai). It's loser behavior to let one asshole ruin his entire life so easily. He needs to get it together. Stop being such a wimp.

He's Tyson Granger for fucks' sake. The star athlete of Toho University. He can't lose to rich spoilt brats from Russia.

"Yeah, exactly," says Hilary.

Tyson side-eyes her.

"You said that out loud," she explains.

"Oh"

"Your thoughts are so entertaining."

"I know. I'm literally never bored. My brain is an endless galaxy of...oh hell," he curses as he walks in as though he was summoned by Tyson's mind alone. He must have sensed he was in a good mood somehow and decided to teleport here at once.

He furiously bites into a slice of carrot and watches as Kai looks over his shoulder (almost as if its magic!) right at him.

Oh god. Not today. Not so early in the morning.

Tyson ignores the slight twinkle of surprise in Kai's eyes upon finding him there and continues to chew on his veggies, deliberately tilting his head away from him and towards Hilary.

She dutifully engages him, tucking her hair behind her ears and jabbering on about some new artist she stumbled across last night. "I think you'll love them." She pulls out her earbuds and inserts one into Tyson's ear. "Listen to this."

She plays a song.

Oh he loves her for saving him. Despite the pep talk he'd given himself two minutes ago he's still not ready to face Kai. Not just yet.

The memory is too fresh in his mind. He needs to get a good night's sleep before enacting any plan to get back at Kai.

The devil's followers turns away from their table and finds one of their own a few feet away. The whole entourage is with him today. Even Kristina. Tyson tunes out their laughter and loud conversation and focuses on the song playing in his ear.

Five minutes later, they get up to leave. Tyson pocketing his wallet after paying and smiling at the waitress passing by on her way to attend to a table. Hilary grabs her bag and jacket and they're both almost at the door when Tyson accidentally looks up and meets Kai's eyes.

Oh fuck

He never should have because he could have avoided what happened next if he hadn't caught his gaze right then. He looks like he's up to something, a smugness on his face that Tyson doesn't like. It makes him stop in his tracks. Hilary glances over and taps him on the shoulder. "Let's go" she says, a note of urgency in her tone.

"Yeah…coming." Tyson can't fight a small frown from touching his brows. Kai holds his gaze, in an especially daring mood today. Like he knows that Tyson knows that he's up to something. "Why does he..."

Kai beckons him to their table with a wave of his hand.

Jesus. Tyson grimaces. It's over. His morning's in the gutter and he was hoping for a peaceful one. Why did he have to go and look at him? Who in their right mind would want to see his infuriating face on such a nice day?

Here we go.

"I gotta see what he wants," he says to Hilary. "I'll catch you later."

"Okay" She walks away reluctantly with concern painted across her features.

The Blitzkriegs fall silent as Tyson approaches warily. Julia looks regretful as soon as she sees him. The others have neutral expressions though Sergei seems a bit guilty and ashamed which says a lot about him because he's not even the one who was behind the incident last night.

They weren't in on it. Only Kai and the driver knew about it and even the driver had been lied to.

Tyson directs an indignant gaze at Kai who looks at him unperturbed. Jaw held aloft. Not a single bone of remorse in his body.

He casually turns his gaze to the menu in front of him and turns a page. "You'll serve this table today," he says. "Get an extra notepad from the waitress or write it down on a tissue. Ian, give him a pen. You had one earlier. Make your orders, everyone." He finally looks up and Tyson stares at him taken aback. "What are you waiting for?"

He jerks into action and takes out a tiny notepad and a pen from his own satchel, awkwardly declining Ian's offer. He clicks the pen open and looks up expectantly, waiting for orders.

They give him the requests and when the waitress comes around Kai turns her away, telling her to inform the front of the shop that Tyson will be serving their table today.

The waitress appears momentarily confused and then horrified before she masks it and forces a polite smile. Casting one last look at Tyson she goes to inform the manager about the situation.

The manager comes over to clarify and Kai talks to him in crisp tones.

"Please, I don't want to cause a scene," says Kai.

Tyson snorts, writing down Tala's order in his notepad for the fifth time because he keeps changing it.

"Something to say, Granger?" Kai rests his cold gaze upon him.

Tyson stays silent. Doesn't acknowledge him.

The manager bows and scurries away. When the orders are finalized, Tyson takes a deep breath and addresses the whole table. "Anything else?" he asks sweetly.

"I think that's about it," answers Kai, attempting to catch his eye. Tyson doesn't give him the satisfaction and spins on his heel with nothing more than a cursory glance his way.

He slides the piece of paper across the counter and the waitress standing there tells him she'll give it to the chefs. "Thank you" says Tyson.

He drums his fingers as he waits, reading the main page of one of the newspapers set on a stand on the counter.

After almost ten minutes the food arrives and Tyson accepts the tray carefully. He takes it to the Blitzkriegs and serves each what they ordered.

He saves Kai's for the last because he wants him to starve for just that much longer. When he finally passes him his plate their fingers brush for a second and Tyson feels like he's swallowed a lot of air.

He manages a smile for Julia.

"Ian likes his sandwiches with no crust," says Kai. Tyson's smile falls. He moves to cut the edges off the bread for Ian. More requests follow soon after, increasing in ridiculousness with each one till Julia is side eyeing Kai disapprovingly and Kristina looks befuddled and Tala is struggling to hold his laughter.

They make him make these convoluted Doritos with cheese and ham sandwich and then say they won't eat it because he didn't put on gloves before touching the food.

"I washed my hands after eating my sandwich," argues Tyson.

"But you didn't wash your hands after touching the tray," says Tala. "That's disgusting."

He pulls in a deep breath and swallows the expletives that were about to roll off his tongue.

They are annoying the fuck out of him.

When they get to their feet at last, because they can't sit here and torment him forever and got classes to get to, Tyson breathes a big sigh of relief and steps aside so they can pass.

Kai approaches him from the back, touches his elbow and whispers into his ear before leaving: "Wash the dishes too."

Tyson crushes the tissue paper in his hand.

"You don't have to do it," says Haru. "They've left already. Just leave it."

"No, I'll do it," says Tyson, shedding his jacket and hanging it next to the coats of the workers there. "I want to keep my word. Please," he beseeches when Haru steps in his way to stop him, "let me do it. I want to help you anyway."

"This is our job," she reasons. "We get paid for it."

"This is a job for me too in some ways. I'm paying someone back." He maneuvers around her and picks up a plate, turning on the tap. She touches his arm. "Haru"

"He's not here."

"I know, but I can't not do it. I have to keep my word."

Haru sighs, resting against the counter resigned. "I don't understand. What did you do? Do you owe him money?"

"Something like that."

"So cryptic. This isn't like you. Since when are you a 'man of secrets'?"

He scrubs the plate clean, silent.

Haru watches him with a stern look in her eye. He avoids meeting her gaze.

"Is there a way I can help?" she asks after a while.

He pauses. Water runs. He resumes rinsing. "Just…don't tell anyone."

Haru rolls her eyes hard. "Those kids," she says thoughtfully, referring to the Blitzkriegs. Haru is only in her mid twenties but she calls all college students who frequent the café 'kids'. "They're trouble. I've heard so much shit about them in the last few years. Some of the staff here are scared to serve them… Our manager would let those kids walk all over us if it meant keeping the café safe from a lawsuit."

"Yeah" Tyson says bitterly. "He's above the law."

Haru tilts her head at him. "He?"

"He's got to answer to someone though," he thinks out loud, frowning lightly. "His parents, may be?"

"I don't know much about the Hiwataris…Just that they own like half of this city. Come to think of it," she muses to herself, "they're really lowkey."

Tyson finishes washing the dishes and rubs his hands dry with a towel. "Thanks, Haru," he says facing her.

"For what?" She poises an eyebrow.

"For letting me keep my word."

Haru groans balefully. "I really like you a lot, Tyson. I think you're a great kid but man, you need to grow a pair. Stand up to that asshole." She snatches the towel from him. "Don't let him dog walk you like this. I'm sure you can find a way to get him off your back."

"Thanks again, Haru." He gives her a sheepish smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She rolls her eyes. "Sometimes I think you're too nice," she says, sliding a box of cigarettes out of a pocket on her apron.

"I'm in this situation now because I'm not nice enough."

"I doubt that," she talks with a fag balanced between her lips.

Tyson lets out a laugh. "I'll catch you later."

"Yeah, bye. I need to smoke and I can't do it around your bony ass." Haru carts him out of the kitchen through the back door and they bicker a bit more before he walks back to the dorm.

Michael and Emily join Tyson and Hilary for lunch.

While they mostly keep it low key so as not to rub it in Tyson's face, sometimes, they can't help it. They're in love after all.

Tyson doesn't really mind. He sees Emily as nothing more than a friend these days and it's been a long time since he saw her in a different light. He twirls his noodles around a pair of chopsticks as Hilary sits with stiff shoulders trying to ignore the sweet couple teasing each other with a cup of ice cream in front of them.

Awkward on behalf of Tyson. He wants to tell her to relax, that it's not a big deal, but it would be fruitless.

"You have some on your nose," Emily giggles (giggles!) leaning forward to wipe it for him. Mike scrunches his face, messing it up further. She laughs harder.

Tyson may not see Emily as more than a friend anymore but he does find himself comparing himself to Michael sometimes. He's a good boyfriend. He's a terrific boyfriend. Michael's the life of the party whenever they hang out together, smart but stupid, kind of silly but a little mean, makes dumb jokes. But with Emily he's a different person, or rather she gets all the good parts of him in copious amounts. His jokes turn flirty and teasing where with the guys they are mean and mischievous. His jabs friendly and playful instead of ruthlessly funny.

Anyone would choose him over Tyson.

Anyone would choose Rei over Tyson too.

He hears Hilary's words in his head. She didn't choose him over you. It's not like points on a scoreboard, Ty. Rei is not a better boyfriend. It's just.. they're more compatible with each other.

Is compatibility all it is about? He doesn't really think so. Michael and Rei are still better picks than him in the dating pool.

Speaking of dating, he should go talk to Miriam. He kind of blew her off the other night which was sort of a dick move. He needs to return Kai's suit too along with the money for the doctor and the refreshment drink.

He doesn't want to owe anything to Kai.

He excuses himself from the table and gets to his feet.