"Blblblbl" (translation: hello, please help me I am under the water there's too much hydro) "blblbl" AHHH! I rose up from the waters, Worst starting location ever. As I swam to shore, I noticed I'm in the middle of a forest surrounding the lake I came from. Other than trees there's a big house not so far off.

Hi my name's Greg.

Age: 21

Height (it matters): 1.81 cm.

Occupation: Lost my job because of my "death" probably.

Powers: can summon 4 spirits.

Strength: 4/10

Speed: 8/10

Intelligence: depends.

Knowledge: 0/10

Mental state: I'm fi- ve nights at Freddy's.

I am currently wearing a white blouse with a red tie (I was being a pro worker) with blue-gray pants, and black leather boots. So I'm basically 25% a motorbike gang member. I have come with my backpack with some things on it. So I check me backpack inventory, I still have my phone without much battery left. At least the water got stopped by the phone case. I have one of those pens that can last for years and years. Sunglasses, water-damaged Minecraft survival handbook and wet clothing.

Alright good start, I guess! Let's explore! I thought to myself as I did my best to dry my clothes strangling the water away.

As I observed the area some more, I concluded that it was early morning and am in the middle of nowhere. But who builds a gigantic house here of all places? Is there a village behind the house?

Dave the spook mentioned there would be fellas not so friendly to humans.

Everything else he left out; I should buy a weegee board to contact him. No I did not choose him to be one of my spirits, I was only allowed to choose people that are alive.

As I made my way into the forest making the least noise I could, I stumbled upon a small clearing. But I didn't enter the clearing, because I see bones.

That's right, in the middle of the small clearing on a small batch of rocks there lied a skeleton. A human skellington.

Not a complete skelly, only the skull with spine and some leg bones.

If I'd enter that clearing, would I be boned myself? Me not being a horror movie protagonist I turned away and oh... I think I might know that poor skelly felly.

A ball of darkness was approaching me from behind! I grabbed a small rock an threw it at the ball.

"OW!" There's something in the ball?

And just like that time I died; I once again was surrounded by darkness. But now I can see who I threw the rock at, oh it's a blond little girl wearing a black dress and has RED EYES? "You have some nerve!" She said obviously pissed.

I'd be better off if I ran from demonic children, you do not want to mess with demonic children.

"You're one dead man, let me enjoy your human meat!" "Nope! I'm Greg" I said running like a runner.

Trees are hard to avoid when speeding with long legs like mine, also the darkness was following me too! So I did not see the hole in the ground below me, Woah! *flop* wait maybe if I stay silent here, she's not going to find me with the lack of light following me and her.

As I sat silently in the dark hole, I heard a loud Crash from the surface. "OWIE! I'll find you one day human! Consider yourself lucky!" The darkness went as fast as it came, and I could see again. It looks like I fell in conveniently dug hole.

As I looked around, I see a tree with a bump on it, looks like she couldn't see very well either and was going too fast at one point. Hey, I'm close to that big house! Maybe I can seek food and shelter there, or the opposite. I had to investigate even though it's possibly a bad idea. But I'm hungry and sooner or later it'll be nighttime, and as a professional Minecraft player I know better to not stay outside during night.

I thought I was close, but the place keeps getting bigger and bigger. And eventually I found the entrance. There's a gate and a gatekeeper. I mean she looks human without suspicious aura surrounding her like the demonic child before. It's worth a try let's- she's sleeping? Or it's a tactic!

I slowly approach while hitting the gritty… she's really asleep! not no tactic. I now stand right in front of her. I slowly and quietly come up to her ear and I inhale.

"WAKE UP!"

She awoke epicly jumpscared. "AHHH! YOU BRAT DONT SCARE ME LIKE THAT!" "But it could have been a knife and easily could have entered illegally." I said. The gatekeeper sighed. "I guess you have a point…" "Sorry I couldn't help myself miss". She then looked at me confused, "who even are you and how did a human like you end up here, without a scratch even?"

"The name is Greg, Greg Bond. How I ended up here? Well long story and I believe I got lucky making it here. How about you miss?" "I'm Hong Meiling, the gatekeeper of the scarlet devil mansion." "Devil mansion? Is this the house of the blond, red eye demon girl?" "Ah you met Rumia huh? She's a youkai like me." "Huh You-kaj? Jo-kai? They can make darkness? You're one? You look human and are not trying to eat me!"

Meiling became a little concerned. 'You are European, aren't you? And to answer your question, I don't have anything against humans, nor do I eat them." "Epic I am indeed a Europebean, so uhm Meiling. Could you let me enter please? I'm not great at surviving nights in a place where I'm good to most." "I don't think it's a good idea, but I think it's a better choice to let you stay here for tonight. I'll ask the mistress but be careful because she may want you."

Meiling went in the mansion, and I stood there, bit confused of her choice of words. Minutes later she came back. "Well good news! You're allowed to stay one night at scarlets!" "Hmmmmmmmmm, good idea? You know what they say! Curiosity killed the cat and I'll be next I can promise that".

Meiling needed to stay at her post, so I was alone. But she did tell me I was not the only human in the mansion so if there's another, I'll be fine. Speak of the devil (human). Holding out the front door for me stood the human Meiling talked about. She has white hair and has silver eyes and appeared to be a maid. "Welcome to the scarlet devil mansion Mr. Breg."

"Uhm it's Greg miss." "Whatever you say Creg. I'm Sakuya Izayoi, the head maid. Allow me to guide you to your guest room." I don't think the Izayoi enjoys my presence, it must be my high rizz that I got. "Anyway miss Sakuya, what are these tiny people?" "They're maids who don't do shit most of the time." "I chuckled. Oh well sorry, I meant their species though." "You must not be the brightest? Even in human culture they exist!" Sakuya sighed and finally gave an answer: "They're birds." "Ohhh I see the resemblance now!" The eavesdropping 'birds' looked at me dumbfounded, as did Sakuya. Man they are easy to fool.

Some walking time passed through the endless hallways of the devil's mansion and eventually we arrived at my room. "You must stay inside until I tell you otherwise, I'll bring dinner tonight and breakfast in the morning. After breakfast I'll guide you to the exit door and you'll leave, understood?" "Yes, miss Sakuya!" And with that I entered the room and closed it. The room was pretty cool! It has a two person bed featuring a nightstand with their classic lamps on top.

There was a small table and chair at the window looking out over the trees. Hey there's really a village there! I know where I'm heading tomorrow.

Anything else noteworthy in the guestroom? There was a small bookshelf, I'm no book fanatic but I guess I'll have a look. "101 Best receipts with juicy meat" by Vlad the Impaler? Huh pretty sure that's a boring book, I suck at cooking. "How to commit tax evasion" by Lars Scottman? Very very interesting. I took the book and put it on the table and began to read… Knock knock.

That broke my trans from the book, was I really reading for that long? I gently open the door, Sakuya stood there with a me food and me drink. "Make some room for the food, will you?" She said. Man she's the not-so-liking-other-people type, isn't she? I removed the book from the table so she could place THE meal. "You're reading that book about evading taxes?" She asked. "I sure am! it could be useful one day. However it is really strange it says you need to use magic to move your home to where no tax collector could come! Strange huh? That could never happen."

Sakuya gave me the stare.

"What?" I said. "You can't just move your house to Antarctica only for tax evasion?"

"Have a pleasant night Mr. Greg." Uhh yeah, you too miss Sakuya, Thank you!"

Look at that! Dinner! Not so bad first day in the very dangerous place Dave described. It's a salad with tomato, cheese and little pieces of bacon, doesn't sound much but she gave me a lot of it.

As midnight approached, I finally decided to stop reading about tax evasion and gather energy for the journey tomorrow, well I would have if it weren't for whoever was knocking at my door.

At this hour? I asked opening the door.

"Hey mister, you wouldn't mind me entering, would you?" There was a child with blue hair and red eyes, could she be related to Rumia? She entered the room and sat on the bed. "My name is Remilia Scarlet, the mistress of the mansion." "Ah you're the owner? Thanks for letting me stay here!" "You're welcome, how's your stay been so far?" "Cool, not allowed to leave the room but this book makes up for it."

"Also you wouldn't mind me asking some stuff about this place, would you?"

"I'm sure you have many questions, go ahead." Grabbing a chair I sit across the Scarlet devil, man she does have the devil's wings! "Okay here we go: first of all, where the hell are we? Second there's magic? The rest of the questions I need to think about." "You're in Gensokyo, no one can or is allowed to enter or leave. But there will always be trespassers like you, but that only makes me Interested. And for your second question I'll demonstrate my magic!"

Remilia summoned a small red ball and shot it at the wall, creating a small crater.

"Holy hell! I'm in a magical place, aren't I?" There probably is an ancient structure somewhere here allowing for magic to happen, I'm good at guessing plot lines.

"So what brings you here to Gensokyo?S Since you don't seem to know anything about this place at all." The Scarlet devil asked. "Would you even believe me if I say what bullshit happened? because it's a bit of a doozy." Remilia scoffed. "I've seen stranger things human, try me!"

"Alright if your funeral if you're that curious. I saved the king of Jermenica, Harambe the first.

He was supposed to die but I saved him, all be it accidentally. So when I got hit by a truck, I was granted another round of life by god himself!" I explained.

Remilia's look on her face was hilarious. Though it did happen it's hard to believe that god would grant me a second chance by breaking Harambe's destiny.

"You're right, that's absolutely unbelievable. Anyway enough chatter I'll cut to the chase."

Confused I scratched my head like Harambe would in his ape years.

"You have another reason to keep me here?"

"That's right, it's been a while since I've drunk the warm blood of a living and breathing human."

"W-WHAT!?" Dear people reading my thoughts, I cannot stand blood. "You're not a devil?

I thought you were the scarlet devil!"

"I am, though I am also vampire." Remilia the Scarlet Vampire grabbed my left arm.

"Don't you want to repay me for my kindness?" "NOT WITH SUCKING MY BLOOD NO!"

I yoinked the nightstands lamp and smashed it on Remilia's head causing her to lower her guard and quickly grabbed my backpack and ran for it.

"SAKUYA STOP THAT BASTERD!" Remilia yelled, she's very very mad.

I managed to run far away losing Remilia but suddenly Sakuya appeared in the front of me causing me to literally run into her, and both of us falling to the ground.

But she got up without getting up, because of course she can!

Sakuya pointed a knife while laying her foot on my leg.

"OW! Dammit!" The head maid angrily asked: "What are running for?"

"I'm running for my life and blood, isn't that reasonable?"

"Mistress is not planning to kill you." "But she is planning to drink me!

Even thinking about it makes me feel shivers up my spine."

"Oh really? You sure are a weakling!"

I kicked her leg from mine and attempted rolling away, but she again appeared next to me and put me up against the wall with her knife at my throat.

"You are brave for attempting to escape I'll give you that, but you cannot defeat me!"

"I actually have a trick up my sleeve Sakuya~" I said with a grin forming on my face. "You see I have the ability to summon legends from my past life, including a certain chef who I chose because I can't cook!"

Sakuya didn't know what to make of my confession and ruled it out as a bluff. "So your fine with a cut in your throat?" with that, I started yelled my incantation.

LEGEND SPIRIT NUMBER 1!

I SUMMON THEE!

Mr. chef Gordon Ramsay!

The spell created a big purple oval sphere, dispensing force tilting Sakuya aside.

"What the fuck did you do?" Sakuya appears to be shocked that I am actually a pretty strong guy. Chef Ramsay stepped out of the sphere making it disappear.

"Hey Mr. chef Ramsay! Is blood delicious?"

"What's that for question? Of course it's not!" He replied.

"Well a vampire wants to taste mine; would ya help me out with that?"

Ramsay uncovering something gross sound effect*

Sakuya took this as her moment to attack and threw a bunch of knives at Ramsay, each one of them missed.

"What? I'm sure I aimed right at him."

With an angry expression Gordon slowly walked to Sakuya.

"Are you kidding me? You know how bad blood tastes? its RAW!"

Fire formed around Ramsay's fist and punched Sakuya in the face.

Unsheathing his own kitchen knives threw them perfectly at Sakuya so she would be pinned to the wall. That should buy us some time, now quickly!

We ran in the hallways that seemed endless. After a while we found everything except for the exit because we came across a library. "Maybe the exit is accessible through the library?" Gordon suggested. "How could they have moved all those books here without an exit?"

"Good point let's make a run for it!" I said with confidence.

The library was very big, and very high. It probably uses 4 levels of the mansion!

"Oh shoot… Ramsay we got company"!

Ahead of us where two of the other residents living in the mansion.

A purple haired and eyed girl in a pink pajama, and a girl with 2 wings on her head and 2 on her shoulders wearing a black dress.

"Trespassers huh?" The wing woman said. "I'll deal with the chef.

You can fight the human; he'll be easy and don't have to bother yourself with them!"

"Thoughtful of you Koakuma."

Ramsay charged the girl named Koakuma while throwing knives, but Koakuma flew away into another part of the library.

Now I'm alone, again.

"Hey, miss librarian? what about we have a talk instead of fighting heh heh? "

She looked either annoyed, or she's a Vulcan from Star Trek.

"Idiot." She said while shooting a beam of fire at me.

I threw myself into a bookcase to avoid the beam.

I had a great idea! If I hide in the bookshelves, she can't hurt me because that would damage the books! HAHA!

"Book protection, whatcha gonna do now?" The librarian surely is annoyed now. "I'll wait, you can't hide in there forever."

Shit she's right, guess I'll take a look at a few of these books.

"How to catch a tax evader" written by Jaiden Asterckate.

Hey, books here are so many times more interesting than in my previous life.

"How the France revolution ultimately caused the creation of one of the best bands ever" written by Jorysodan Ginger Voorhees.

That is something I'd read alright! There's another!

"Prank book" Written by Ben Gnives, there are small letters underneath the description!

It says: this book is a boobytrap for whoever reads this. And now a brilliant idea pops up.

"Hey miss librarian! Ever read this book before?" I threw the book, and she catches it.

"Huh? That's strange, I've read this part of the library before and never even seen this book."

She opened up the book only for a boxing glove attached to a spring to jump out of it knocking the librarian out cold.

"Thanks Ben Gnives! I'll treasure your book!" I'm resorting to theft now, mama I'm a criminal.

After those shenanigans that I do, I hurry up where Ramsay and wing woman are fighting.

Heh I've arrived too late, I see Gordon getting hit by a big ball similar to Remilia's ball.

The chef faded away; don't worry I can still summon him! But it'll take a while before I can.

I need to find the exit NOW.

Koa-Kura whatever her name was is now after me.

It took a while but eventually I finally found the fucking exit. "There it is! Finally l'm fr-"

The entire gang of mansioneers appeared in front of me! And because no warning I collided with Remilia. "OOF! OW!"

"A little warning next time would be fine."

"Fuck you human! I've lost my patience!" Remilia yelled.

"Damn, truly one of the moments of my life!"

"Shut! Prepare to die-" *knock knock knock*

"Now's not the time for this Meiling!"

"It's not Meiling dear~"

The door opened, there stood a man well dressed in modern formal clothing.

Black short hair and red eyes. I go by the name of Dave.

Mistress you've been avoiding taxes, I'm here to collect them.

"Huh Dave? You're not a ghost?" "My dearest friend Greg, that was my twin brother.

We're a whole household."

Remilia looked at Dave, she had seen enough bullshit today and decided to rip Dave's heart out!

"Oh my, you're truly heartless mistress Scarlet." Dave said in a mocking tone.

'Fine I'll leave, with a piece of your mansion that is!"

And in one second there was an instant explosion only damaging the mansion.

But for reasons unknown I fell down!

There was something underneath the mansion, was it a basement?

Who builds a basement THIS big?

As I was falling the only thing I could hear was Dave laughing.

As debris fell alongside me, decided that the one trollage comic about not obeying the laws of gravity would be a good idea.

I grabbed a piece of the floor and stood on it, here come the ground!

Just in time I jumped off the floor, landing on the ground.

It worked? I'm alive! Damn this is a deep basement.

In fact it looked more like an ancient entrance to an underground temple.

Well there no other exit I can find, and before the mansioneers will find me I'll have to gtfo.

I hurry to the entrance.

The structure was only made out of stone with bits and pieces of iron, literally like a Minecraft stronghold.

Walking through another hallway I eventually see an open room light up by candles like the hallway. As I entered the room, I saw 2 statues that looked like dragons looking at a sarcophagus.

Great news! Vampires and sarcophaguses. They go well together.

I stood there pondering if I should open it. Nah we balling, I'm opening you up!

Skriiiiieeeeeeeeekkkkkk*

Inside there lied a young girl. What's up with this place and children!?

Damn is she cursed too? Suddenly she opened her eyes like one of those horror movies.

And she rose from her grave.

She's also a blonde with red eyes, but she wears Christmas decoratio- oh they're wings.

"Did you come here to come play with me?" She excitedly asked.

"Well depends on what games, miss…" "Flandre!" She responded.

"Nice to meet you Flandre, I'm Greg." "Hello Breg!"

:

Its "Greg"

Breg!

Its "Greg"

Breg!

…

"Yeah, I'm Breg, let's just get out of here."

"Fine by me! I need so stretch my legs anyway." So Flandre, how long have you been sarcophagused?"

"About 400 years."

"Heh must have been a Monday."

Flandre flew me out of the remains of the front side of the mansion. Turns out her physical strength is absolutely insane; I get it she's a vampire but still. Yeah, she effortlessly picked me up and went out. We landed on the other side of the lake, great view of the mansion here!

"So are you gonna take revenge to the people who captured you?"

"Nah, not yet at least.

I don't know what my sister would think about me escaping, I do not know why she trapped me in the first place."

"Hold up YOUR SISTER?! Remilia is your sister!? She locked you up?"

"Yep!" "How can you be so upbeat about it?

I'd fucking kill her." "Aww don't say that, I could kill her but nah.

I would rather annoy her really bad."

"Oh well I'm pretty sure she's annoyed already; I did kind of steal a couple books and smashed a lamp on her head.

Attacked employees, and last but not least I freed a certain basement dweller."

"Ah hahaha! My my I am happy to meet you!" Flandre lauged. "You're a fan of a little tomfoolery too huh? I think we'll get along, although please DONT drink me. I cannot stand that, and it grosses me out."

"I can't promise that my friend~" "Yeah thanks for the reassurance miss Flandre."

"You are welcome Breg."

"Flandre, we should stick together for the time being it's probably going to be morning soon, and with you being a vampire and all."

"I can stand maximal 1 hour of sunlight actually!

My sis can too but neither of us will do that, it still burns!"

"Alright we'll have to seek shelter from the sun. Also have you eaten or drank recently?"

"Nope!" "Well what about money?" "Money? What's that? Been stuck for ages Nope!"

"We're fucked. Guess it's resorting to survival, first seek or build shelter."

Then food and water thank fuck for my Minecraft survival handbook!

"I know that there is a small cave we could camp in." Flandre said.

"Great start! Mind showing me?" "Oh its right there actually."

She pointed at a few hills of stone bordering the water and as we approached, I could indeed see a small cave facing the lake.

And we don't have to worry about floods because it's already night and its entrance is about 1,2 meters above the surface.

Inside it was spacious enough for the two of us, storage and fire for outside.

My luck is getting better all of a sudden!

"Flan, are there any fish in the lake?"

"Not many but I can get some!:

"Okay, I'll get the fire going and I'll try to find something that could hold water."

Minutes and hours passed; we were able to get fish cooking but no water.

Sadly we didn't find anything that could hold water above the fire.

It was getting light, I bet it's morning.

"So Flandre you sleep during the day?"

"Yup! Most vampires do."

"Then I should too, I didn't get any sleep yesterday and today.

I think I'm able to summon Ramsay again and he'll keep watch for danger."

"Hey Breg?" "Yeah, that's me? Thank you for freeing me!"

"Ahh don't mention it I was just too curious, happy I was though!"

"Alright! Good day!"

(Good day? Tally Hall reference?)

Darkness falls across the land.

The midnight hour is close at hand.

Creatures crawl in search of blood.

To terrorize y'all's local forest.

Yeah, we're quoting songs now.

I awaken from my well needed sleep. And Flandre is still sleeping? Sleeping more than me even though she slept for about 400 years.

I got out the cave to meet up with Ramsay.

"Good evening Greg." "Good evening mister master chef, thanks for helping me out by the way."

"No problem, a friend of Harambe is a friend of mine."

"Anyway I need to tell you something about the devil I fought yesterday."

"Huh, is there something odd about her?"

"Everyone in the mansion says that's she's weak, but while fighting me she proved that she is far from weak." "So meaning the scarlet devil mansion is secretly run by her?" "I don't think that's exactly the case, but I suspect she has different intentions."

"I believe her secret ability is to manipulate reality.

I saw her changing my knives into pieces of paper and transforming books into energy balls and more.

You'll have to stop her because she's planning something I'm sure of it!

Greg, this world is in danger!"

"Yes chef, I need to talk and discuss this with Flandre and then we'll come out with a plan!

Awaken Flandre I need talking you to!"

"Hmmmh five more minutes" she said half asleep.

"WAKE UP!"

"AHH BREG! I'll suck your blood I swear!"

"NONONO this is important Flandre! Believe me!"

"Alright, just this once."

I tell Flandre everything. "No way, that girl? Strong? Impossible and if she's truly so strong how can we stop her?" Neither Gordon nor I had an answer, but I had an idea!

"Hey, I'll summon my second legend spirit!"

"Could the legend even help?" Flandre asked.

"Well he can definitely plan!"

LEGEND SPIRIT NUMBER 2!

I GRANT THEE, SPAWN AND THEORY!

Mathew Patrick, remember it's just a theory, A GAME THEORY!

pop*

Yeah, there is no need for an epic portal entrance sequence here.

"Hey there friends! What can I do for ya?"

"Matpat, we need you to cook us a plan."

As Matpat gathered our information he took notes and frequency asked questions along the way. Is Koakuma a devil? "Yes" Does she have weaknesses? "Not that we know of."

And then came the twist, how long has Koakuma worked for the mansion? Flandre answers: "Uhm about 400 years".

She started some time before you got locked up? "Yup!" Alright fellas I'm sure I got an idea of what's going on. Here's my plan,

After discussing and noting holes in our plan and filling them, I'm sure I chose my spirit companions correctly. I approach the mansion's gate to see Meiling, awake this time.

Probably still shocked about what happened last night, I pop my head out from behind a tree so she could see me.

She did see me, and I held my index finger on my mouth and signaled for her to come.

She was hesitant at first but eventually she approached.

"Hey Greg, what was yesterday all about hm?!" She said angrily.

"Hey shhh! Now's not the time for that, you know Koakuma right?"

"Yeah of course, you want to go on a date with her?" "Listen Meiling, this sounds crazy but she's planning to do something bad." "Pfff yeah, unbelievable indeed!"

"Shhhh! Hey, I can prove it but only in the mansion's basement.

We'll need to get there, quite hard because of how deep the drop to the basement is."

"Honestly, I think you are onto something here, if you've been in the basement.

None of us even knew we had one!

Even Sakuya didn't know about, and she's been working for 200 years now."

"has she? And what about the rest?"

"Well Patchouli has been working for 200 years as well.

Rin has been working for 300 years, and it's 170 for me!

That makes sense now… come let's go quickly."

Meanwhile by the legends.

As the spirit legends enter while Meiling is distracted they immediately headed for the staff's dorms which were easier to find than the exit the night before.

But finding Koakuma's room was the easiest because there are only 4 workers that are not fairies. Gordon cut a circle in the door so they could enter the room.

Inside it looked like any other normal room, but underneath the carpet there was a trapdoor.

"I was right! Yes! It's a great feeling knowing that my theory is correct." Matpat said.

"Alright, part 2 of the plan is now in action."

Matpat headed down, and Gordon went to look for Sakuya.

Me and Meiling pov:

"Uhm what was the way to the dorms again?"

"Why do we need to go there?"

"Its where we can go to the basement."

"In the dorms?" Meiling started to doubt me more now, this is bad change subject!

"And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack."

"And you may find yourself in another part of the world."

"Uhm Greg what are you sayi-"

"And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile"

"Hello Greg stop sing-"

"And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife"!

"And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

"Stop SINGING!"

"Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down."

"Letting the days go by, water flowing underground."

"Into the blue again, after the money's gone"

"Once in a lifetime, water flowing undergro-" then Meiling punched me.

"OW! Not a big fan of talking heads huh?"

"I have no clue what you're planning but it has to stop!

I'm taking you to the mistress!"

"Well too late lookie here." We arrived at the dorms and saw a cutout hole in Koakuma's room.

"See that trapdoor? That leads to the basement, why would this be in Koakuma's room under the carpet"

"Hold om what the hell? I thought you were an idiot; how did you find out?"

"I didn't, Matpat did. Also yeah, I'm not the brightest sometimes I admit."

"Wanna head down?

Matpat should be investigating the basement, or should we wait a little longer?

Chef Ramsay would be coming back here and it's going to be hard to convince his chaser about what's going on."

"I think it's better if we head down and wait there then." Meiling agreed.

And with that, we climbed the ladder down eventually leading to stairs going down.

After a while, we reached the basement. Matpat was already here.

"Turns out this place was meant to be closed off." Matpat said pointing at the slightly obvious door. 'No I didn't even notice that part, is there a way to open it?"

"Right, watch this!" Matpat pulled a lever on the side and the door opened, behind it Flandre was already waiting. "Sure took your time!" Flandre said impatiently.

"Huh who's that?" Meiling asked.

"That's Remilia's little sister, Flandre." "She has a sister?!"

"Yup" Flandre said.

"Wait guys! Ramsay is not back yet." I said worried.

"No worries we can investigate this place some more." Matpat said.

After about ten minutes we heard commotion coming from the stairs.

"Hey Matpat, you have enough information to convince her?"

"I've found enough" he said.

Ramsay entered the room with his no-hit run completed.

"Good job Ramsay, now for the harder part."

"What's the meaning of this!?" Sakuya shouted with no chill. "We're here to prove that Remilia made a deal with the devil and the world might be in danger YAHOO!" I said without chill.

"Oh? Well then, amuse me."

Matpat grabbed his notes and paper.

"Alright let's start with the complete timeline."

500 years ago the sisters Scarlet where homeless and dreamt of a mansion, but where constantly robbed of their money because of Dave who's the tax collector.

Eventually Remilia did buy a mansion because she really wanted to.

But it only took 3 days for her money to be depleted so she made a deal, a deal with the devil. That deal allowed her to be gone of her tax responsibilities and live far off, almost like the house was teleported with magic.

Sound familiar? It's even written as an option to avoid paying taxes in the tax evasion book.

And let's go back to that deal. There's always a twist to deals with devils, in this case the other part of the deal was to keep her sister locked up.

And to ensure her not breaking her promise, the devil lived inside the mansion herself.

Going by the name of Koakuma.

"Holy hell you've pieced that together perfectly!" I complimented.

"THATS SO SAD!" Meiling sniffed and hugged Flandre.

"What are your thoughts about this Sakuya?" I asked.

"If this really is the case than we should check up on the mistress now that she broke her deal!"

"Nope we need to fill you and Meiling in on the rest of the plan, you see I've been watching Supernatural before I got hit by a truck before I died.

Sakuya, pass the salt please?"

Me and the boys and the mansioneers, headed for the library of the mansion in the coolest way possible.

Just imagine us walking next to each other with sunglasses and guns ready, though that not being the case it sure did feel like it.

"There's the library up ahead! I said. Let's charge head-first into demon fire!"

"Nu-uh we are sneaking in." Matpat said. "Devils are nasty little shits, gotta use the element of surprise for this party."

We sneakily enter the building for books, I could hear arguing up ahead!

"You broke the deal miss Scarlet!" Koakuma said. "You know what happens if you break the devil's contract right?"

"ITS NOT MY FAULT, THE HUMAN LET HER OUT and better yet, Dave! Found! Us!"

Remilia reverted quickly back into composure.

"You are the one who broke the contract in the end. Anything else to add to that Koakuma?"

"I, well. ALRIGHT you got a point." Koakuma said with poison in her words.

"That's right, now I don't even want the mansion anymore if I'm being honest."

"Huh? Why?!"

"Why are you confused? I wanted to share this mansion with my sister!

But you left "that" part out on the smallest little letters on that contract! I'll never forgive you for that, I may never forgive myself for trusting you. Koakuma, I'll set you a new fate."

"Oh ohoho~ really? I wouldn't think so."

The books in the library fell out of their shelves and turned into book monsters, they had one eye on each side of the book and grew a bunch of sharp teeth where the pages should have been. You're a hard one to mess with Remilia. Time to change that!

I looked around to see if anyone had a plan, but Flandre was missing!

"HEY!" I heard her shout, oh shoot the devil got her mad!

Koakuma turned around and when she saw Flandre it was too late, she had cloned herself behind her and pierced Koakuma's shoulder with a red magic sword.

"AH, FUCKING BITCH!" She gasped as she flew a distance from her. "Flandre!"

Flandre faced her sister with a smile and replied: "Hey sis!"

"Damn you Scarlets, ILL SEND YOU TO HELL! GET THEM BOOK MONSTERS!"

"Alright I think this is where we interfere, fuck the plan go ballistic!"

The knife duo knifed the fuck out of the book monsters, and Meiling took a deep breath and punched and kicked the fuck out of the book monsters.

Me and Mr. theory were reading the books instead of attacking, even with the lack of pages and increase of teeth it was still interesting.

While we fought Remilia and Flandre were gazing towards Koakuma.

"Don't look at me like that~ you're embarrassing me!"

In a flash Remilia appeared behind her punching her in the face with so much force she fell through a couple off walls eventually falling outside.

Flandre followed up with grabbing her and forcing her to drink some water from the lake to put it lightly, but the water reshaped and transformed into a turret that shot Flandre away.

Remilia fired a whole bullet hell at the water-turret destroying it. "Alright girls, I get it you're strong. But~ what if you were forced to fight your OWN MANSION HUH?"

with a snap of her fingers, the ground rumbled.

"Fucking hell what now?" I yelled.

"Don't worry I'll evacuate all of us out of here!" Sakuya said.

All of a sudden, we were not in the mansion anymore.

"Let me guess, you can stop time." Matpat theorized.

"That's correct, good observation."

"Hey guys?" Meiling said with fear in her voice. "is the mansion supposed to look like that?"

The mansion transformed into a gigantic devil, with red glowing out of each window and door. And then all we could hear was his unsettling:

"ROOOAAAAAAHHHGGGG"

"Fucking hell how are we defeating that?" I screeched.

"Hang on I've got a theory!" The theory man said.

"Nah no need, Flandre's got this!" Remilia said.

"She has the ability to destroy anything and everything she touches."

"Huh she what now?" Literally everyone asked.

"Watch…"

BOOOOOOMMMMM

It got destroyed lol.

"You're thinking, that I have been defeated right?"

A sadistic smile formed on Koakuma's face.

"I manipulate REALITY ITSELF! I CAN DO ANYTHING!"

The devil formed mansion appeared as quickly as it vanished. HAHAHAHAHAHAA~

"Nope you've lost ownership of the mansion my dearest customer."

Dave said as he suddenly appeared behind Koakuma.

"And you've damaged the property way beyond repair miss, you'll have to pay for that.

With your life that is."

Dave summoned a black hole sucking the mansion and Koakuma.

"ILL GET YOU FOR THIS DAVE! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL."

What a choice of last words, that was fucking hellish.

As I looked around everyone was chatting, about the events that played off. Why are Ramsay and Sakuya showing off their knives? Meiling and Matpat are just chilling, oh shoot Remilia and Flandre are having a sis-to-sis moment!

"Did you see that!?

I destroyed a devil mansion! Try replicating that!" Remilia had a sad expression on her face. "Flandre…" "Yeah, what's up Remilia?"

"I'm so sorry Flandre, I didn't know you'd be locked up in the basement!" Remilia cried while hugging her sister."

"I'll never be able to make it up to you I-". "Hah look who's a crybaby now huh!"

"Flandre you don't get it!"

"No I do, It's not your fault sis, I heard your conversation with Koakuma. It's not your fault.

Even if you would have broken the contract to get me out, the devil would have been able to send us to hell. Its only because of the last lucky timing of Breg that things ended up the right way."

"Thank you, thank you so much!" Remilia said still crying.

"Heh, I feel like the older sister now!" Flandre giggled.

Good that they're on good terms now.

As the sisters finished their Huggy wuggies, Remilia walked up to me (uh oh).

"Heyyyy Remilia howsy going~"

"You hit me in the head with a lamp Mr. Greg, howsy going with you?"

"Look, I'm sorry about that but" *cough* "YOU WANTED TO DRINK ME" *cough*

"I'm sorry too, you repaid me enough with what you've done tonight."

"Really? In that case I'm not sorry hahahaha"

The as night went on, we celebrated without any bad voodoo in the air. With Remilia's sister back she's never been happier according to Sakuya. It seems none of us will miss the mansion!

"Thanks for helping me carrying those books by the way Rin Satsuki, I know much you hate going to the village."

"No worries, Patchouli!"

"Hold up where did the mansion go?"

"Huh?:

"NOOOOOO MY LIBABYERYY!"