Damn I thought I would go straight to old hell falling here but I'm more in a cave underground area. "AAAAAHHHH!" Someone's falling down the hole!
Luckily the flowers will break the drop. "OOMPF!" Sanae said as she fell on the flowers that somehow did break her fall.
"Welcome to the devil underground! How was the fall?" I asked the poor shine maiden who now shares my fate.
"Greg? What are you doing here?" Sanae asked.
"I'm going to explore the secret paradise of old hell!"
Sanae looked at me confused and asked:
"Pretty sure old hell is not a paradise Greg."
"Then answer me this, why was there an overpopulation? If the place really is that bad people would leave." I argue to Sanae who now was enlightened my by reasoning.
"Ohhh so you're saying there's a secret reason why everyone wanted to live here?" She guessed. "Exactly, why would anyone live in hell?
Unless souls are not being tortured there!" I said with cold hard evidence.
"You have a point! I'll investigate with you!"
"Fuck yeah!"
And we went off into the cave underground place.
Cold dark caves, my favorite. At least there's no claustrophobic places.
We've been walking for a short while but it's getting boring quite quickly.
"Hey Sanae, can you spell icup?" "Well its, i-c-u-p."
"Oh my god Sanae that's gross!" After standing there and thinking for a while Sanae finally got my awful joke. "Are you kidding me? That was a bad joke!" She pouted. "Heh heh, didn't see that one coming." I laughed at her reaction.
"Jup that's what I do when I'm bored walking through a cave." I added. Sanae sighed "I get that, but can't we chat normally?"
"Perhaps but a little trolling can't be that bad." I reasoned.
"You are weird." Sanae said.
"You just never met a jester before." I counter.
"You're more a clown sometimes, like that time you got drunk and sang about piña coladas." Sanae said.
"Huh?! I did that? Wow I'm I don't remember anything about that night. I'm amazing even when I'm drunk!" I complimented myself.
"You are also a narcissist I see." "W-wait don't, hold on am I?" I said not sure of myself now. "Oh I didn't mean it seriously! I was trolling." Sanae reassured. "Oh right, right." I say while thinking of another subject.
"Hey there's a bucket over there! Is that an ancient relic from old hell?" I say while running up to the bucket.
"Hmmmm, i love old relics and artifacts and shit from history. So I can tell this bucket is not that old! Dammit!" I shout frustrated while kicking the bucket away.
"Greg no don't-" Sanae said too late.
"OWEY!" I heard from the bucket. "Holy Hell?! Why can it speak?!" Shocked me yelped. "You little insects! I'll teach you that you don't mess with youkai!"
A pale girl with dark teal hair tied up in pigtails by white hair beads said after climbing herself out of the bucket.
"Sanae is that a snail youkai?" I ask her. "No she's a Tsurubebi."
"A tsumerbaby? What kind of psycho puts children in buckets and leave them in the underground?"
"Didn't you kidnap a child Greg?" "I released them afterwards!"
The bucket-child stood there watching us arguing and eventually had enough of our chatter. "BUCKET RAIN." She incantated and a bunch of buckets fell from above.
As I looked up I watched a bucket in slow motion coming right at me.
"GREG WATCH OUT!" Sanae warned me. *bonk*
Said the bucket when it made an impact on my head.
"WEEEEHHH!" I cried after getting brutally hit by a bucket.
"HA take that for kicking my bucket!" The bucket dweller said.
"Sanae she's being meeeaaann!" I cried while kneeling down and hugging her legs. "Oh Greg dear, you are a strange one." She said while head patting me.
"And you little lady!" Sanae shouted at the bucket-child.
"You're getting a beating for hurting my manchild friend!" The bucket child jumped back in the bucket and rolled away in it in fear.
"HA that teaches you!" I shout back while sticking out my tongue.
"Greg, you are a weird guy."
"I mean I am a child kidnapper after all."
After that encounter we walked further in the cave while laughing at the events that transpired just now. "So Greg, you're interested in old ruins I take from you inspecting that bucket like an archeologist."
"Hell yeah! I love ancient shit! I'm going to have no regrets willingly going to hell for the beautiful view!"
"That sounds off." Sanae laughed. As we walked further we came across a bridge with (shocking) a small river flowing underneath.
"Why is there a bridge here? Can't we just jump over the water?
Are they stupid?" I say as I jump dramatically over the water.
"The builders must see me as Jesus because I didn't even get wet!" I proudly said. "Eh! You can't just jump over this bridge!
It's not built for nothing you idiots!" A girl with wavy blond hair and green eyes shouted. "How does this keep happening to me? Am I a youkai girl magnet?" I ask whoever was writing my story. "DONT IGNORE ME!
You are at least capable of being a 'youkai girl magnet' mister!"
"Uhm miss please don't attack us I'm really REALLY curious how old hell is like."
I politely ask. "NO! You will stay with me forever to see how it is to be stuck here!" The girl shouted.
"You can't leave?" I ask her. "No you idiot! And if you laugh I will make your first years full of pain and agony!"
"Hey Sanae, you can make miracles happen right?
Do a miracle, please?" The bridge girl was still seething even if I sympathize with her situation and am to help.
Sanae looked at me with a sad expression.
"Sorry, I need to charge my miracle for greater miracles." She apologizes.
"PFF really?!
No one could get me out, and those who didn't manage to get me out die!"
I jump back over the river and walk up to Sanae.
"Please! We can't just leave her Sanae."
"Okay, Greg I charge faster if I eat a cheeseburger."
"A cheeseburger?!"
"Well I love them so much I recharge faster." Sanae confessed.
"Say no more." I look up in the sky and shout: "HEY YOU, YES YOU! THE ONE BEHIND THAT SCREEN! YES YOU READING THIS! GET ME A CHEESEBURGER! IF YOU GO TO THE COMMENT SECTION AND COMMENT 'CHEESEBURGER' IT MIGHT WORK! THANKS IN ADVANCE!"
So I wait for the cheeseburger to spawn.
Take your time…
Wait for it…
Hah it worked!
"Sanae, cheeseburger, eat!"
"Where did you get this cheeseburger?" She asked.
"Oh I was asking the people from an alternate universe, why?"
"Damn okay, I'll just eat this outer-universe cheeseburger!" Sanae ate the cheeseburger in one go. She must really love cheese with burger.
"There! Better now! Let's work some miracle!" Sanae said excitedly.
"Hold my hand bridge lady, you're getting off of the bridge!" Sanae held a hand out to her. At first she pouted and faced the hand away but after a few seconds she reconsidered. "Come on, I promise it will work!" Sanae reassured.
The girl finally took her hand and the both of them walked off the bridge. "
See? It's alright!" Sanae said to the girl who was absolutely astonished of the fact she is not on the bridge. "W-woah no way! I'm out IM OUT! WOOHOO!" The girl jumped up and down of happiness.
"And what do you say to miss Sanae?" I asked her. The girl did not like my annoying question and kicked me in the nuts. "AAAHHH! Fuck!"
"Anyways, That aside, my name is Sanae and the guy you assaulted is named Greg, what's your name?" "It's Parsee."
Parsee wanted to go with us and explore the cave, so we did.
Walking, walking and more walking. This is getting old quick, until the ground beneath me shook. "Huh? What was that?" I ask. "Uhm Greg, look down and don't freak out."
I did the exact opposite and looked up and freaked out. And then the ground underneath my feet went down,
"SSSHHHIIIITTTT!" I say as I fall down. "GREG!" I heard Sanae shout before I fell asleep midair.
I get up! Never mind I can't move. I appear to have fallen inside an old building. Good news: I must be in old hell! Bad news: I'm stuck in a big cobweb. Hold on why is there a big cobweb here? "Well look who finally woke up!" Another youkai girl approached. "Uhh are you a spider?!" I ask her. "I am an earth spider in fact yes." "EEEEEEEEEEKK!" I yell out. "A SPIDER, A BIG ONE, THIS REALLY IS OLD HELL!"
"Hey, calm down, you are a human are you not?" She asked.
"I-I'm half c-celestial." I stutter.
"Celestial? Never heard of another celestial other than Tenshi, is that because your half celestial?" "I guess, but please l-let me out!"
"You sure are scared of spiders."
"P-please just go!" I nearly yell. "Alright alright I'm off!" She said after hurrying away. Thank fuck, at least I fell in a good spot, she did kind of save my life.
I broke out of the cobwebs and went out of the old building.
Whoa, this place IS cool! There are entire streets of old ancient buildings.
An archeologists dream! "Oh look an ancient blade!
I pick up an old rusty looking blade from the ground, I swing it in the air to test out if it still is fit for battle but it isn't, so sadly I threw it away.
Walking further l came across a building made of stone bricks.
This has to be the barracks, let's see what cool stuff is in here, they got to have left something behind.
Oh there's a lot of debris but not much else.
Though I did find an armor piece for a shoulder.
Putting it on it lines up with my mechanical arm, fucking cool baby! After checking out the place some more I walk further down the streets. This sure is an amazing place, but I wonder why people would leave? Don't think it's because of overpopulation, there would be obvious signs of overpopulation.
Hold on, people still live here! I thought as I saw something move in the distance of the street, better check it out.
"HELLO?!" I shout at whatever's moving.
Tip: don't do what I did, most of the time an evil monster comes up and kills you, but luckily for me that was not the case.
"HELLO?!" I shout again and I see something, or rather someone move.
"Hello?" I heard the figure shout back.
Now I walk up quicker to the figure revealing a woman with straight blonde hair, red eyes, and a single red horn coming out of her forehead.
Is she a devil? She was confused at the sight of me coming straight at her, or maybe it's because of my presence.
"Hello! you are not dreaming, I actually exist." I joke.
"Who are you?!" She asked.
"My name is Greg, newest second-in-command celestial in town!" I replied proudly. "Uh-huh sure, my name is Yuugi Hoshiguma." She held out a hand and I accepted. She gripped my hand real tightly and shook it.
"AAH! Not so hard." "Ahahahahaha! Stays classic! Formalities aside, what brings you here in the old capital?" Yuugi asked.
"I love anything ancient! And this place used to be a paradise after all." I explained. "Huh, paradise?" "Yes, how come no one wanted to leave and caused overpopulation hm?" I argued.
"That's half correct, alright come with me Greg. I'll tell you what I know, it's a local mystery of the events that happened 500 years ago."
"Huh more people live here?" I ask. "Only after this place was abandoned, some of us Oni came to live here." She explained.
She is an Oni? Couldn't have guessed that to be honest.
Yuugi guided me to her house, which was just one of these houses on the street, but well intact and decorated with lanterns.
She held the door open for me and I went in.
"Nice place you got here, built from an ancient house to your own home."
"Indeed, you have a passion for old stuff don't you?" Yuugi asked.
"Exactly, that's also one of my reasons to come here, next to figuring out why everyone left. Even I could tell it was not from overpopulation, what's going on Yuugi?" Yuugi grabbed a book and opened it searching for a specific page.
Once she found it she pointed a finger at the text written.
"This is exactly what an ancient note said I found in one of the houses basements.
I rewrote it on this book where I keep all the other information or notes I find in the old capital, but this one is the biggest clue I've found." Yuugi explained.
Walking up to the book, I lean in closer to read the note.
It says: "The project has turned against us; many have fallen, and I've let them down. We must leave this place and run from what we've created." This only confuses me.
"What could you get out of this Yuugi?" I asked her.
"There is a nuclear powerplant at the center of the old capital, if something happened it definitely came from there." Yuugi answered.
"A nuclear powerplant? What's that doing here? That's not historical at all!"
"But the building is older than 500 years, however it's not easy to investigate what's going on in there if I can't get in due to there still being guards who protect that place!" Yuugi said obviously frustrated.
"Something is not right here! We have to investigate, listen Yuugi, I happen to be one of the strongest in Gensokyo right now. I have the power to investigate what's going on!" I said.
"I see, by your confidence alone I can tell you're not joking, but first I have to wait for another friend who also seeks the truth of that place and in the meantime I'll tell you what I know about the 3 guards remaining there."
"Fine with me." I agreed.
We sat there chatting, planning and waiting for Yuugi's friend.
She talked about a cat and who carries dead bodies and two sisters who can manipulate mental stuff idk I traumatize my therapists.
Ah finally! Knocking on the door. "Come in door isn't locked!" And in came another Oni with 2 antler like horns instead of a red one from the forehead unlike Yuugi and has brown eyes and blonde colored hair.
"Greg, allow me to introduce Suika, my drinking buddy and sparring friend!"
Yuugi introduced. "Hello, nice to meet you Suika!" I held out a hand and Suika accepted with another strong grip on my hand.
"OW! Not so hard!" "Ahahahah! Stays classic!" Suika laughed.
"I already did that Suika." Yuugi said. "Ah come on!
Leave some fun for me!" Suika replied.
"Anyway, now you see Greg, we Oni are physically strong, and we are the strongest in Gensokyo physically.
But not mentally so every time we try to break in, the sisters will stop us with their stupid unfair mind tricks!" Yuugi explained.
"Hold on is he able stop the sisters Yuugi?" Suika asked.
"I can mayhaps, actually I've seen my fair share of mind tricks on TV and media so I should be able to tell what's real or not." I said.
"That's good enough! Can we begin charging in now?" Suika asked.
"I am ready just like soup!" I replied.
In the empty streets of old hell, only silence could be heard.
Until one day, three heroes appeared to invade and investigate the nuclear powerplant. One was a half celestial; one was an Oni, and another was also an Oni. Together they stood beside each other at the front gates of the powerplant confronting the Kasha that carried corpses that stood before them at the gate.
The half celestial took a step forward and with his head raised, fist in the air he said: "May we enter please?"
Silence could be heard again, forming an awkward situation.
Fuck I'm going to stop narrating like that, it has gone on for long enough.
"Normally for you two troublemaking Oni I wouldn't, but since you asked nicely, you may enter, all of you!" Orin answered as she opened the gates letting us in.
"See? Politeness wins every situation!" I prove.
"Gah! Fine you win this time." Suika said. We made a quick bet before confronting Orin, either she lets us in or not.
"Alright, one free cup of enhanced sake for you Greg." Yuugi said.
"Hold on you guys made a bet?" Orin asked.
"Yup, I'm the winner thanks to you!" Orin facepalmed and went on with her day.
"Is it just me or is she done with her job?" I asked.
"Well as a gatekeeper she sure is." Yuugi answered.
As we entered the powerplant we searched for a map with the powerplants layout, upon discovering it we immediately noticed where we should investigate: the plants basement. "We never got as far as the locked doors to the basement.
The sisters will be waiting there." Suika explained.
"Damn that's crazy." I said while looking for the right way to the basement. "Uh oh! Speak of the devil!" Satori appeared.
"When will you two learn, oh? Brought another? Let's see what your thoughts are!"
She said while closing her eyes and pointing a finger at me.
Damn it would pretty funny if she actually read my mind! She would otherwise find out about the tragedy of Joey Drew Studios, in 1945 they made animated series of a cartoon character named Bendy the dancing demon, and his friends Boris the wolf and Alice angel. But Joey made an ink machine to bring them to life and basically killed blah blah blah..
"AAAHH! STOP IT! TOO MUCH AAAAHHH!" And Satori fell unconscious.
"Did you just solo the mistress of the powerplant?!
Woah you are a half celestial after all!" Suika complimented.
"Ah so you're Greg the new 2nd in command celestial huh?" Satori said while getting up. "That just now was an act, I knew you would do this because I read your mind you fucking idiot." She insulted.
"You got to be kidding me!" I sigh. "Aww and we got so far!" Suika complained.
"Nuh uh I'm not giving up just yet!" I say with confidence.
"I see, then are you prepared to fight your newfound friends?" Satori asked.
"Huh, What do you mean? Yuugi? Suika?" I look behind me at the girls to see them in a hypnotized state.
"Oh fuck."
The two of them rushed to my left and right and both raised their fists and rushed to attack me from both sides at the same time but I stop them with one hand on each side even though it hurt like a bitch.
I do a "Phase!" And hurried to Satori and tried to punch her but Suika appeared before me and grabbed my fist and squeezed my hand, so I grabbed one of her horns with my free hand and threw her into Yuugi.
But she dodged and threw a couple of punches back at me which I dodged myself while running to a nearby table that I then picked up and smacked Yuugi with.
Suika picked up a metal pipe and made it larger to attempt to smack me, however I punched the pipe away launching her away.
And now I dashed toward Satori and I successfully face-fisted her in the face making the hypnotized girls snap back.
"Sorry if my attacks hurt you two." I apologized.
"Hah! With your weak attacks?" Yuugi grinned.
"Ah come on; you're talking like I really want to hurt you. I could never!" I replied.
"Pfft quit praising yourself Greg, you have not met my sister yet." Satori mentioned. "She won't allow you to see or hear her coming!" Satori stood back up with a confident smile.
"Oh you mean her?" I say as bonked Koishi on the head really knocking her out. "Huh?! How did you?! How did I not see that coming?!" Satori said in disbelief.
"Oh I had my second thought train thinking of my next moves, but my main one was thinking about, uhh yeah!
You've seen what I thought for yourself!" I said embarrassed.
"I indeed did see that, smart move. I'll allow you to proceed." Satori said.
"Huh? What changed your mind?" Yuugi asked.
"It's something I can't hide forever, and it's important for you to know Greg." Satori picked up her sister and left the room.
"What was that about?" Suika asked. "Let's find out, now come on!" Yuugi said.
Destroying the doors to the basement revealed a staircase, walking down the lights got dimmer.
Long black scratch marks can be seen on the walls, dried old blood still visible on the floor. And eventually we end up in a hallway that only goes straight.
"What the hell happened here? There's no skeletons or bodies anywhere, just marks and blood." Yuugi asked. "This is probably what happened to make everyone move out the city." I concluded. "But what exactly happened?" Suika asked.
"Operation God Exterminator." I read the sign pointing ahead.
Above it was another sign but the letters where crossed out.
"What the hell is this?" I asked.
"This can only mean bad things up ahead." Suika said.
"But we are close to figuring out what happened here." Yuugi mentioned.
Walking ahead we eventually see a door at the end of the hallway.
There was more dried blood here, and one black line on both sides of the wall, almost like a really hot sword cut the walls.
Opening the door we walked into a room with a broken tank in the middle and a name written underneath it. "Dave of Zurtha?" I read.
"There's another Dave?"
"No it is not." Kanako appeared behind us with Sanae.
"This is where Adve got his powers." She added.
"What?!" I shouted. "I did not do this, Satori misunderstood me when I wanted to fulfill wishes of both the underground and the surface world, I only just learned this." She explained. "Satori thought I wanted to invade Gensokyo to fitful the wishes, so she invited Dave of Zurtha who was at war with the other 4 Dave's to be the one who would take over Gensokyo.
This Dave was fueled by anger and was out for blood and he easily accepted her offer to become stronger because during his war against the other Dave's his wife got killed." I stood there shocked.
"ADVE HAD A WIFE? HOW COME I DONT HAVE ONE? AND ITS WORSE BECAUSE ADVE IS A PSYCHO!" Kanako and Sanae looked at each other in disbelief. "Uhm anyway, after Satori let Adve get his power he immediately killed every worker in the plant to make sure no one would know how to replicate his power and later went off to kill 2 Dave's until he and the remaining other Dave's got sealed." "Hold on a minute, why is this place restricted for access if the danger is long gone?" Yuugi asked. "Probably to keep Adve's origins a secret, and to hide their second project: Operation God Exterminator." She explained further while pointing at another tube with someone still inside.
"Utsuho Reiuji." A sign read underneath the figure inside the tube.
"A willing Hell raven subject to kill Adve, Aka Operation God Exterminator, Satori felt she was the blame for the massacre Adve made and decided to fix her mistake by creating another powerful subject, exactly what Adve fears the most." Kanako concluded.
"Why didn't Satori tell anyone earlier?" Sanae asked.
"She was afraid and felt responsible for her actions so much that she wanted to end Adve herself since she insisted on doing it herself." Orin answered approaching us. "That's why I let you in this time, I sensed Kanako coming and let everyone find out the truth." She added. "This changes things, when will our god exterminator be ready?" I asked.
"She is gathering nuclear power as we speak, next time Adve appears she will break out and fight him." Kanako said.
"I know enough, let's evacuate everyone here as well." I said. "Where is Parsee, Sanae?"
"Evacuated to the hospital already." Sanae answered.
"We're complete, let's head to the hospital to explain to the others." Kanako said.
I was done for today, we had all been kept in the dark with important information. Back at the hospital Satori herself explained what was up in old hell, me, Yuugi and Suika where drinking at the restaurant, Yuugi's enhanced sake does taste good!
And it takes my mind off this situation.
After a while I saw Satori waving me over, so I went towards her.
"Hey Greg, I'm sorry I'm the reason your arm- "No no Satori, it's not your fault.
We told you before remember?"
"Greg, as thanks I want to give you advice." Satori said. "Advice? For what?" I asked. "Heh, well do you remember how you covered up your next move in your mind with your primary voice while your secondary voice planned? Your primary voice and part and the brain was thinking about Alice."
"YES that's enough, enough, SHHH! Someone could listen in! I mean! Uhh it's not like that!" I stutter embarrassed.
Satori laughed at my embarrassment and proceeded to give me 'advice' whatever! End this chapter already!