"911, do you need police, fire, or medical?"

"Medical! Oh god! Medical!"

"Sir, stay calm, can I have your name?"

"Jason Rikers, I'm a track coach at Whartons School for boys! Jesus I need you to send someone now! They need to be here! There's a lot of blood, hey, hey stay with me kiddo! Stay with me!"

"Alright, Jason, what's going on?"

"One of our students attempted to kill himself! His name is Alan Tracy, fourteen years old, he slashed his arms real good and I found him–Jesus Christ I found him hanging from a beam!"

"Alan, is there anyone we can call for you?" The blonde teen had been disbondant since being found by his coach and immediate action had been taken to ensure his life did not end as he had intended it to. "You don't need to go through this alone, sweetie, is there anyone you can think of?"

When the report came in that the victim in this case was the youngest son of the legendary Jefferson Tracy, security had to be put into protocol that wasn't usually so heightened. With the bruises still painting his neck purple and blue, evidence of his failed hanging, and thick white bandages running up both forearms. It was a heartbreaking sight to behold.

Trying to get the boy to talk, come to group even, to do much of anything other than sit curled up in front of the window he'd claimed on his very first day in their ward. "J–John…Can you…"

Nurse Sandra smiles softly. "John? Your older brother?" He barely nods but she takes it as a win. "Okay, sweetie, we can definitely call John and get him here. Do you have his number?" Another slight barely there nod. "Do you think you can write it down for me?" When the teen's head turns, she's quick in snagging a piece of paper and a green crayon, the first writing utensil close enough. Fearful that if she breaks this shaky connection at best that they'd go right back to where they had been. Nowhere. "Alright, sweetie, can you write down John's phone number?" A pale shaking hand reaches for the green crayon and she feels eyes on her as she succeeds in garnering any form of response from the boy since he arrived four days previous. "Alright, baby, I'll go call John right now. Is there anyone else you want?" He shakes his head as he turns back to his window. Retreating again. "That's perfectly fine, sweetheart, let me go call John. I'll be right back."

Sandra wastes no time, bustling after she's far enough away from their most silent patient, paper in hand she ignores the astonished stares of her coworkers as she quickly types the code into the door and rushes to one of the station desks behind the security barrier. Setting the paper down, she reaches for the phone with a shake in her hand, hope and excitement both flooding her system.

Dialing the number is difficult but she manages, holding the receiver to her ear, she listens to it ring. Everyone who knows Alan Tracy knows he has four brothers. She doesn't question it aloud, but why his second eldest specifically, surely most children want a parent or the closest thing to.

"Hello, John Tracy speaking."

"Oh thank the lord!" She can't hold her composure, finally, finally they were getting somewhere. "I apologize for my unprofessionalism, we've not gotten anything from him in the days he's been here, and he specifically asked for you and–"

"It's alright, ma'am, calm down. May I ask who you are?"

"Yes, my apologies, I'm Sandra McQueen from McLean Hospital. Alan's been admitted to our unit and your name is the first thing he's said in the days he's been here."

"McLean—the pediatric psyc—I'm heading out now, I should be there in about twenty minutes depending on traffic."

…..

Alan doesn't feel much of anything, personally he likes it this way, he'd cried for no real reason a few hours ago, his doctor says that is completely normal. Nothing about this is completely normal. Even as he sits here in contemplation, silent tears trail down his pale cheeks, they said he'd lost a lot of blood.

Like, a lot.

They had to give him two transfusions.

"Allie! Allie, baby brother, I'm here!" He turns his head slowly at the voice, the one brother he requested, John's just there. Kneeling beside him, platinum hair a mess either from the drive or from constantly running his fingers through it in worry, makes sense. "Oh, kiddo, you're safe." Alan slowly uncurls, not caring about their audience, this being his first real interaction since he arrived half dead a few days ago. Things for him are still a bit slow. "I've got you, kiddo, I'm here."

John catches the boy when he nearly falls from his perch, tears falling faster as a sob tears from deep in his little chest, he refuses to say things will be okay because nothing about this is okay. The bruises painting an obvious picture around his little baby brother's neck is not okay. Those thick bandages covering his forearms is the furthest thing from okay. Saying everything's okay would be a lie. "Big brother's got you, kiddo, you're safe now." The sobs, loud and breathy and painful that fill the Day Room are enough to break the hearts of everyone who bears witness to them. "That's it, let it out, I've got you. I'm not going anywhere you can't follow."

"J–Johnny d–do–don't m—mad!"

"No, baby bird, Johnny's not mad." He tucks the head of his little mini-me under his chin as he pulls him around gently from his window perch and into his lap. "I promise, swear on everything and anything you want me to, Johnny's not mad at you." It's a sight to behold their hardest patient to finally open up. Pale fingers clutching tightly to the front of his requested sibling's button up navy blue shirt, until his broken wails fall silent, and his grip slowly falls slack. "Where's his room?" The elder stands, baby brother cradled in his arms, with the practiced ease of someone with three younger brothers has. "What happened?"

Nurse Sandra follows, gesturing for him to come along, John follows obediently. "He came in approximately five nights ago, found by one of his Coaches, he was persistent in his attempt." She gestures to a more private room down the hall, allowing the man entry first to settle his bundle on his bed, pulling the blankets up to his chin before perching on the side of his bed. "If suffocation didn't work he ensured blood loss would, it nearly did, pardon my bluntness."

"No, no, I appreciate it." She watches the tenderness in the simple action of reaching out to brush his brother's cheek with his thumb. "Why weren't we notified sooner?"

"Today is the first time he's said anything in all the time he's been here. We did call the contacts we had for him but got no response to any of our messages. His social worker was going to try again this afternoon. She's not happy." She nods to the nurse poking his head in for the check-in. "I figured, well, let's see who he wants to be here with him."

The elder Tracy son turns to look up at her. "And he gave you my number?"

"Well, yes, but most importantly he said your name. We called everyone, including you, and left messages."

"I apologize, my phone got destroyed a few weeks ago and I had to get a new one, thank you for reminding me to update my contact information."

"Nothing to be worried about now. The important part is that when I asked who he wanted he said John. Four days of absolute silence and the first person he asks for, the first thing he says is your name." He gives her a look that spells out the confusion he feels. "It means he trusts you the most. Most ask for a parent or an older sibling, we know he has four, but he requested you specifically. He trusts you more than everyone else."

"I don't understand, I'm not the doctor in the family so forgive me, why is it so extraordinary that he said my name?" Something so simple should not be so praised upon. "How bad was it?

"The damage was so bad we started to fear he lost use of his voice permanently. So with him saying your name is a huge step forward." The concern is palpable. "This is the most lively, well before he wore himself out that is, but the most liveliest we've seen him since he arrived." John turns to look up at her again after tucking the blankets just a bit more under his baby brother's chin, pale fingers curled around those of his left hand, neither of them speak a word on the action as he nods sluggishly into his brother's hand. "We fear that parting you from his side, even for just a night, would have dire consequences. It's against protocol. But, well, up until you arrived he'd been sitting at the window."

"Is my staying here with him even legal?"

"Well, it's not illegal, just unethical. But extenuating circumstances call for extenuating responses. We want to help but–"

"I'll stay." John doesn't think he's going to be able to move either way, not with the weak grip on his fingers, now he could just pull his hand away but he simply can't bring himself to do so. "Did he…Did he leave a note?"

Sandra nods slowly. "Yes..He did."

"I'd like to see it if allowed."

…..

John can say, little brother curled up around his entire arm now, reclining in the new bed they'd brought in for them, that he now understands why he was the one Allie wanted out of everyone in their family he could have asked for.

And that he's never been more pissed in his entire life.

He'd told them, warned them more than a few times, that they were starting to go too far. That they needed to back off just a bit. He'd told them. What feels like a thousand times, John had warned them to cool it, and they hadn't. Now look where they were. Dad's called at least six times in the last thirty minutes, he turned his phone off, they may be able to put their youngest aside for International Rescue and he's not saying he's not guilty in that either, his rotation to return to Five was today.

But someone was going to have to break that vicious cycle and he'd be damned if he let it get this far again before someone finally did something to show that their youngest should always come first.

Sandra had kindly informed him, in as much a soft tone as she could considering the sleeping teen between them, that this is the first real sleep little Alan had gotten since his arrival. He wasn't moving for anything short of an atomic bomb.

There were words to be had with those pointedly named in the letter intended to be his last words. Alan had been found by pure luck, perhaps mom was his guardian angel, even the Coach had admitted he hadn't known what he was doing on that side of the unused portion of dormitories, his baby brother had gouged his own arms open and was found near unconscious by a Coach who just so happened to stumble upon him.

Alan had no intention of being found.

And John had warned them numerous times that they were driving their baby brother towards a cliff, now here he was, putting his life on hold (always will without hesitation) laying in a bed in a psych ward after their baby brother had been found nearly succeeding in his single desire. He had a valid excuse for not getting those calls and thus the messages, he hadn't thought to update his contact information, the only saving grace was that he'd told Alan when he'd met him for lunch…just a few days before he hanged himself ... and that he remembered his new number even after the extreme lack of oxygen and everything.

But what excuse do the others have? There had been no change to their information as far as he was aware and he most certainly knows they would have gotten the message that the hospital had left, now whether or not they actually listened to said message he didn't know.

Alan had wanted him, said his name after a week of complete radio silence, because he trusted him most out of everyone in their family. John doesn't make the decision lightly. But he refuses to allow that trust that's been placed in him to be broken. Reaching lightly around his peacefully sleeping brother, his fingers snag the edge of his phone, and he silently dials the Nurses Station.

"Hello, yes, this is John Tracy. If anyone comes regarding Alan please inform me first." The Nurse who took his call gives her understanding and notes the chart with the Flag. "They're going to earn him back."

…..

He can only ignore the constant calls and messages for so long, even after silence the notifications for those who keep blowing up his phone specifically, John loathe to leave his side but even more so to have him hear him taking the dreaded call.

"Allie," rubbing a soothing circle over his baby brother's back, he smiles when the little blonde turns to him at his call, chewing silently on a piece of plain toast. "I've got a call I've got to take, I promise I'm not leaving, I'm just going to step out for a few minutes. Okay?" If it's not fine he won't, John won't move an inch, he'll stay right where he is and let them track his phone and face the disastrous consequences of their actions. Alan nods mutely as he swallows with a grimace. "Okay buddy, I'm going to be right there, right next to the shower room, see?" Foggy cobalt eyes follow his finger and garners another nod. "Good boy, I'll be back in a few minutes, and in the meantime I want you to finish your toast and applesauce. We gotta get you eating again. Can you do that for me?"

The astronaut had spoken to his brother's doctor the night before, Alan had been on a hunger strike up until this morning, there had been talk of a feeding tube and everything.

Alan nods again and smiles slightly at the large hand that rubs his head gently. "Good, I'll be right back, if you need me for anything just give me the hand signal."

John hates this, leaving his clearly not well brother's side, but the windows are two way windows. Alan can see him to ensure he really hasn't left and he can watch him to make sure he eats his toast and applesauce. Turning to his phone for a moment, he pressed the latest number who'd called him, he knows who it is but he really should update the contacts in his phone.

"What?" No beating around the bush. This one is part of the reason their youngest has noose bruises around his neck. John's sparing all niceties. "You're blowing up my phone when it's obvious I'm otherwise busy. Who's dying?" He cringes. Too soon. Star blue eyes take in the bruises and white bandages. Way too soon.

"John, what the hell, you were supposed to be back nearly two days ago! Dad's pissed–"

"You think dad's pissed, Virgil, check your goddamn voicemail and you'll know exactly where I am." John watches the little star gazer take another bite of his toast. Trying his hardest to do what he asked of him. And if his heart doesn't soar. "I told you guys. I warned you! You were pushing him too–"

"Is this about Alan! Jesus that kid, tell him you've got to go, damn it he needs to grow up–"

"You're lucky he'll get the chance to." He can't help but grind out at the implications that their baby brother was inconveniencing him. "Check your missed calls, check the list Virgil, check it right the fuck now."

"Fine, fine, don't know what crawled up your ass. You're on speaker so I can do this. I'd watch out if I were you. I'm looking and there's nothing out of—McLean? McLean Hospital, that's a–John is–"

"Oh, so now you care, now you want information. Couldn't be bothered to check your voicemail in the last week. If you had checked you'd have known he was in the psych ward, that you and the others drove him past his limit, you better thank every fucking god that hears you that his Coach found him in time." Stuttering from the other end of the line has no effect on him. "Tell everyone I'll be back when they discharge our baby brother from here and not a minute sooner. God, who else is there, I'm on speaker, who the fuck else?"

It was a rare sight to behold the ever unshakable Tracy lose his control. "Uh, Gords is here too, we're out by the pool."

"Good, I want you guys to do something for me, got it. Take a moment and imagine the deep bruising left by a failed hanging attempt. Imagine it. Contrast against pale skin. Now with that look down at this person and imagine both arms gouged open so badly it took fifty-five stitches to close the wounds. Do you see the image? What's that person look like?" John smiles when Alan takes the final bite of toast and reaches for his container of applesauce and a straw. "What's the image you see of that person?"

"Uh," Gordon's tone is just as quiet as he desired. Neither of them know how to answer this question. "Like they survived death by some sort of miracle."

"Yea?" He nods when those eyes turn to him and offers a soft smile despite his internal rage. "That's what our baby brother looks like." Hanging up the call before they could question further, he slips the device in his back pocket, and steps back into the Day Room. "Did you finish your toast and applesauce, Sprout?" Scratching the young teen's back proudly when he's shown the tray of breakfast. "Good job, kiddo! You did amazing!"

…..

"John," the day Nurse assigned to his brother, Sandra interrupts their moment of Group. First Group Session little Alan has ever attended. "There's two young men at the desk asking about Alan."

He knows who it is without needing to be told. "Virgil and Gordon." Of course they'd come out here now. After everything was starting to take an uphill turn. "Hey kiddo," personally John's tempted just to have them kicked out, they being part of the reason Alan was even here, but this wasn't just his decision to make. "Virg and Gordo are here. Is it okay if they come back to see you?"

Alan glues another cut out of a star system on his vision board and for a moment there's the thought that he didn't even hear him before he nods slightly and returns to his project. "Okay, I'll be right back buddy, keep working on your board while I'm gone."

John waits until the boy nods again before pushing himself up, sparing the one leading the group a silent nod, and steps out into the hall. Glad that they stuck to his one true request in not letting just anyone coming in seeking Alan Tracy back before running it through him first.

"I want to make one thing perfectly clear, if it was up to me I'd have had you guys escorted out, but it's not. It's up to Alan and he said it's okay." He pauses just before the nurses station. "You say one thing, one single eep that sets him back, I'll clobber you into the ground." Sandra was kind enough to inform them that little Alan had retreated to their room after he left the Day Room. Truly, John knew his being at his side was the only reason Alan was making any strides in the right direction, this wasn't the first time he was forced away from his side and his poor baby brother retreated to their room. "I'm going to warn you now, don't make a scene about it, but little Allie's in rough shape."

With that warning in mind, John turns into their room, sighing sadly at the sight of his baby brother curled up staring at the wall in front of him. Silent tears streaking down his cheeks. Virgil and Gordon stop short in the doorway, eyes widening at the sight of their littlest brother, his neck painted with memories of the rope that had been tied around it and arms bandaged from wrist to mid bicep. "Kiddo, I was coming back, remember I said I was only going to be away for a minute." He lifts both pale hands gently to examine them. "You weren't biting again, were you?"

"Hey kiddo," his throat feels just as tight as he's sure his only little brother's had as he gained those gnarly bruises. "How're you feeling?" Gordon steps forward first, breaking the silence of the Tracy brothers in the doorway. "Allie I am so sorry."

No verbal response has green eyes lifting to his older brother perched on their youngests bed. John hums in acknowledgement. "He still has trouble talking. Nearly crushed his windpipe. What he does say is small broken short sentences if he talks at all." Alan's teary eyes travel between his newcomer brothers and up to the one he told Sandra he wanted. "Hey baby bird."

Pale fingers curl around his left hand and the way Gordon's features light up when the other set of pale fingers reaches out for him weakly is a bit on the heartbreaking side, rushing forward the aquanaut quickly lowers himself to sit on his knees as he takes those fingers without hesitation. "I'm here, kiddie, Gordy's here."

"Guys, you gotta stop, let up on him. This," John shakes his hand lightly and thus shakes their brother's bandaged arm lightly. "This was by mere chance. Guardian Angel kind of chance. Mom looking out for her baby kind of miracle here. For all intents and purposes, if that coach hadn't gotten the sudden urge to walk through the old dormitories, we'd be in a very different room right now." They watch the teen stare at his immediate older brother as the red head whispers to him softly. "I was on my way back when they called me, my heart damn near stopped guys, he was wasting away when I got here. He said to call me, not anyone else, imagine what would be like right now if I was back up on Five."

Cobalt eyes flit from the fishman to–"V–Vir–Virgy—?"

"I'm right here Sprout. Kiddo, I can't," kneeling at Gordon's side Virgil brushes his fingers over their baby brother's forearm and barely represses his flinch at the slight lift of staples under the bandages. "I'm so sorry, kiddie, so sorry. Things will be different from here on. I swear." Alan smiles slightly and they all can't resist the urge to return the gesture. "Me and Gordo got a hotel just around the block, we're gonna stay for as long as we can, Alan comes first. It shouldn't have taken this long for us to realize that. He comes first." He lifts his eyes from their sleepy baby to his older brother. "Dad and Scott saw us taking off in Tracy One, they're probably already on their way, just forewarning you." Baby brother nods into biggest brother's hand and John smiles. "That's his present way of saying he wants to take a nap. I've been staying with him. You guys go get settled in at the hotel and I'll call when we're good for another visit."

"Is he still sedated?"

"Oh, just a bit."

…..

"What happened?"

Alan lets his third older brother turn his head around, staring at him with wide doped out eyes as he munches on a plain bagel, their nap turned into sleeping through the night until just before dawn and the teen got up to use the bathroom by himself.

That had been a mistake.

Admittedly, nothing takes more years off one's life then waking up to gut wrenching screaming, John will definitely attest to that as he nearly fell out of bed in his rush in time with the sounds of nurses running down the hall.

"We had a bad morning." John watches carefully as Virgil eyes the deep gouged scratches around their youngest cheeks and still rather colorful neck. "Scared a few years off my life. They said it was completely normal and not to worry too much about it." Kiddo takes another munch from his bagel and turns back to his breakfast tray. "I'm surprised they let you guys in so early."

"I think it's for the same reason they're allowing you to bend the rules in staying with him." Gordon pushes a carton of mixed fruit over with a finger until their baby brother looks back around at the movement. "Can you finish this one too kiddo?"

Alan stares at him with sleepy eyes before looking up at their older brother. John smiles down at him with a quick peck to his nose. "Finish your fruits for Gordy, Sprout, you can do it." He taps the fruit cup with his index finger. "I know you can do it. Gordy will even feed it to you."

Not wanting to be the one to have their youngest stop eating, according to the older blonde this is the first morning he's eaten more than two items on his tray, Gordon takes up the plastic spoon to do just that. It's like baby brother is a little kid again. Especially while as drugged as he is. John has become accustomed to one of his hands being held captive at this point. Lifeline and anchor, that's what the treatment team had said, he's never been more honored in all his life. He watches just to make sure their resident merman in human form gets him to down two pieces of fruit before turning back to the conversation beforehand. "He was pretty worked up so they gave him something to calm down."

Virgil glances at the new wounds their baby brother sustains and exchanges a quick glance with their younger brother. "Is it because of me and Gords?"

"No, no, he's happy you guys are here. Too forgiving in my opinion, but it's his that matters, in most circumstances." The second eldest Tracy Son rubs the youngest's back soothingly when he starts to turn away from the fruit, enticing him to take at least one more piece, and waits until Gordon gets him to take it before nodding. "No, he's happy to see you and Gordo, asked if you guys were coming back today before breakfast after we got him cleaned up." Turning suddenly. "Gords see if you can get him to finish the tray."

Challenge accepted.

…..

"Okay, so lets do our Ice Breaker, because we have some new faces with us." Alan listens but hardly participates, usually curled up in his oldest blonde brother's lap, like he is now, head tucked under his chin, but with his feet in Virgil's lap this time and Gordon scratching his back lightly. "Let's start at the end." He huffs when a finger wiggles over his sole as incentive to participate. "I'm….Alan..Tr–Tacy…U–Uhhh… These…my fav-orite brothers." His neck was healing nicely, thus so was his throat, talking was still hard but they were making progress.

Zoning out for a bit, lulled into a peaceful state by the sound of the steady thump of John's heart under his ear, Gordo scratching his back, and Virgy rubbing lightly at his feet. He nods into the astronaut's chest contentedly.

"Now we're going to go around and give one things we really like."

Alan will admit he'd started dozing off but he was still listening when it came to his turn, his brothers had asked him to try his hardest to do his best in this group session, and he promised to try his hardest. "John." It hurts to hear that he prefers their older brother over them but Gordon and Virgil can't find blame. John had them read their baby brother's letter. "Really like'im." And around the table they go with various answers to the simple question.

"Okay, no let's name something we really don't like?"

This one he doesn't want to answer and he tries to avoid it but a finger taps his lips to remind him of his promise. "Dad.." While they all heard his answer none of the elder Tracy sons made any notion to acknowledge it. "Johnny…My throat…hurts."

Virgil pinches his big toe. "I'll go get something from his nurse."

"He's due to get the staples removed today too, find out when!"

"Will do!"

Turns out, getting staples removed, not fun. Hurts everyone involved.

John has of course already seen the arm wounds, he's been there for a few cleaning sessions, but he made sure his younger brother's knew that they were to stay there and watch the entire procedure as they removed fifty-five staples from both arms.

The way their faces went white as a ghost at the sight of Alan's arms brings him grim satisfaction. They didn't see the worst of it, he had, he requested to see photos from the scene for his own closure of sorts. John was pissed, sure, as his baby brother struggled and wailed as they removed the staples as quickly as they could without causing him harm, holding him as still as possible but not enough to force that onto his younger brothers. WIth the staples removed, dissolvable sutures replace them, and light bandages to keep the fresh wounds from getting irritated are secured around them.

All his screaming and crying then of course makes his throat throb and that only makes their baby brother cry harder.

One single shot is all that's needed, Alan turned into his oldest brother's chest, clutching John's light blue shirt with the fingers of his right hand. Calmed now that it was over and the heavy sedative running through his veins.

"I didn't want to scare you guys." He carefully stands without jostling their baby brother too much. "But you needed to see."

…..

They knew it was coming, Virgil had even given fair warning, so when Sandra comes down to let them know that there are two visitors demanding to see her patient, John's wired. He's on it. How did it take them this long to get the fucking memo. It's been nearly a week and a half since Gordon and Virgil had joined them, Alan was improving so much, willing to sit with one of their other brothers there then clutching to Johnny like a scared child does it's stuffed teddy.

"Allie, I've got to go see to something, can Virgie take my place for a bit?" The little blonde nods lightly, leaning forward to let John slide out from behind him and Virgil to take his place, Gordon keeps their youngest distracted with marking his spot on their game board. The medic looks over to watch their older brother snag a file folder from his backpack, he's never seen John look so downright murderous, he doesn't have to ask to know what's in the folder. "Allie." He points at a square and they smile at his soft giggling when Gordon gives an exaggerated holler about cheating older brothers. "This one."

….

"Shut it!" The last thing they all needed was for their most touch-and-go patient to hear this mess and all the progress he's made fall apart like a sandcastle in an ocean wave washing over the shore. "I swear to all that is holy if he hears you and all his progress begins to take a–" John turns to the Nurse who'd had security stop his dad and older brother, Sandra feared nothing. She was a wonderful Nurse. To stand face to face against both Jeff and Scott Tracy without a single ounce of fear to be seen. Too bad she was spoken for. A police officer at that too. "Can we have one of the counseling rooms?"

"Of course, John, I'll have security stay just outside if you need them." She guides them to the nearest counseling. "I assume Virgil and Gordon are down with Allie?" He nods as he gestures harshly for his father and brother to enter the room first. "Okay, he's due for his medicine in about ten minutes and then his arms need to be cleaned again in twenty-five."

"I'll be there." He's been told more than once he gets his temper from his mom, may she rest in peace, John knows she'd be rolling in her grave. "You want to see Allie so goddamn much nearly two weeks after the fact." John tosses the folder down on the table between them before a word can be spoken otherwise. "Take a look at what your actions did to him first. Take a good look. I told you guys to back off. I warned you all so many fucking times!"

There's a sort of sick satisfaction at the range of emotions that flash over their features, after everything they've all seen through IR, seeing something so horrifying so close to home was so much worse.

"Here's the note." John tosses that down among the far too graphic photos. "Congrats Scott, you got an entire paragraph all for yourself." Folding his arms the judgment is heavy in the room. "I had to get a new phone and number, that's why I hadn't gotten the calls from the hospital, what's your excuse?"