Olivia paced in the small entry space to the OCCB headquarters.

"Liv, would you sit down? You're making me dizzy." Elliot had already made himself comfortable on the floor with his back against the wall.

Olivia stood over him, before sighing and sitting next to him. She felt tense all over. She had things to do, places she should be, but she was stuck.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, resting it against the wall. "Might as well get comfy, locksmiths take a notoriously long time to get here."

She tried to relax, but couldn't. She'd locked her keys in the damn car and Elliot left his office key in his desk drawer. She was his ride home, they were the only ones there, and they were stuck.

"I'm sorry. I'm just," she groaned because she didn't know what she was. A hopeless bundle of suppressed emotion? That felt accurate.

"It's okay Liv," his hand brushed her arm. "We can't do anything about the situation. Take it as an opportunity to chill out for more than a second."

She'd be annoyed, but his voice dropped with sincerity and she knew he was just trying to help. Being alone with Elliot, and her thoughts, was a recipe for discomfort. She had serious intimacy issues, and she damn well knew it. Sitting next to him made those issues extremely clear.

She leaned her head back against the wall. "Do you think we are more screwed up from the job, or our messed up childhoods? I can't decide," she wondered aloud.

"Probably both," he admitted.

She turned her face towards him, "Do you think that we are going to be screwed up for the rest of our lives, or do you think will eventually get it right?"

He laughed, "I'm not sure. At this point we might be screwed." He smiled at her with mirth. "Look, we may not have control of what life dealt us, but we can do better for our kids. Well. Maybe you can, I'm not sure I was any help with mine."

"You did the best you could, El." She placed a hand on his arm.

"Did I though? Or did I dump everything on Kathy and hope for the best."

"You are the only one who can answer that, but I think you did great El. Our job makes home life tricky and you navigated it the best you could."

"Maybe." He looked to the floor.

"Regardless of what you think, your kids are amazing. They grew up to be great, well adjusted adults and that's all we can ask for." Olivia squeezed his elbow in support.

Silence consumed the conversation while they sat arms touching. "Do you think things will ever be okay between us?" He kept his arms around his knees, but turned his face towards her. His eyes, blue and begging, broke her heart.

She watched her hands so she could avoid his gaze. She wanted to forgive him. She wanted this to be easy, but it wasn't. "Maybe?" She said diplomatically.

He shook his head in defeat. "What can I do Liv? I want to try." Those eyes gripped hers again, this time they didn't allow her to look away.

"I," she hesitated. What could she say? While he could be a more consistent presence in her life she understood their job made that difficult. At this point it wasn't on him. He'd apologized and she knew he absolutely hated the choice he made thirteen years ago. This was on her. This could only work if she forgave him.

His eyes never left hers while she silently battled herself. She lifted a hand to his face, "I want to try too, but I'm the problem here. I want to let everything go. I do. But there's a disconnect between my brain and my heart. What I feel is getting in the way of what I want," her eyes dropped to her hands again, and a low whisper she added, "what I need."

He dropped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. He kissed her head and rested his gently against hers.

This felt comfortable. Right. Her brain continued its inner conflict. She wanted to give him a chance, but fear kept holding her back. Fearlessness and strength were hallmarks of her job, but they proved to be her biggest weakness in her personal life. Elliot exacerbated that fear tenfold. Why? She wanted to understand why everytime he took a step forward she ran in the opposite direction. Especially since all she wanted to do was step into him!

She loved him. She loved him and he'd hurt her. One thing had become clear, her feelings for Elliot gave him the power in the relationship. It gave him the ability to destroy her, and that thought was terrifying.

"Liv?" He asked gently, pulling her from her spiraling vortex of thought.

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something? Will you try not to freak out?"

"Sure?" She said warily, not sure she was ready to hear whatever he was going to say.

She felt him take a nervous breath beside her, "I love you. I don't want you to feel pressured or anything. I just needed you to know. I needed to say it a least once. I need my truth out there."

To her surprise she didn't feel panicked. No, she was filled with an unexpected calm. She turned her face towards his, meeting his eyes that communicated everything he couldn't say. He wanted her. She wanted him. And she was tired of being so damn afraid of it.

Holding on to the calming peace of this moment she leaned forward, softly brushing her lips against his. She cupped his cheeks with her hands before whispering, "I love you too."