Ainosuke blinked. What was he doing before? It was supposed to be important, but as soon as Ainosuke walked out of his room he forgot. Ainosuke stared at his reflection in the large window in the hall. He was wearing his usual dark hoodie with his white school uniform on top and his hair was down and messy like it always has been. Nothing was new.
Ainosuke sighed before he decided to walk outside for a while. It will be his last Christmas in Okinawa before he is sent to the US. Not that it mattered much since it was only going to be a party that consisted of mostly adults and snobby cousins Ainosuke didn't get along with. If only I still had my skateboard. Ainosuke lamented to himself.
When Ainosuke reached the town, he saw many people walking around. Families, friends, even lovers. It made Ainosuke feel a little self-conscious, like he was the only guy spending Christmas alone when that probably wasn't the case. Nevertheless, Ainosuke pulled his hoodie over and shoved his hands in his pants pockets as he walked inside a mall to get himself lost for a while.
Ainosuke was just going to look around for a bit. Maybe even buy a gift for one of his aunts or something, but as he browsed the women's clothing section he felt a small hand pull on his school jacket, catching his attention. Ainosuke blinked, looking down to see a small redheaded boy with big round amber eyes staring wide at him. Ainosuke raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you want, kid?" Ainosuke asked, his tone dry.
The kid's eyes start to water.
Oh shit.
"W-Wait, don't-"
The kid started crying out loud, catching the attention of some of the women there.
Ainosuke quickly got on one knee to be at the same eye level as the boy as he put his hands on top of the boy's shoulders. "Hey, hey, don't cry! What are you crying for? Are you lost!?"
The kid cried harder, still holding tightly onto Ainosuke.
Ainosuke felt his right eyebrow twitch in annoyance. He really hated kids, could never bother to interact with them and yet, the universe seemed to hate him so. "I'll buy you anything if you stop crying, okay!? Just stop crying for fuck's sake!"
The kid's crying died off, only sniffling as he stared at Ainosuke with the bottom of his lip puckered up. "You said a bad word." The kid croaked.
Ainosuke rolled his eyes. "Whatever." Ainosuke said, leaning back up and glaring back at the women who were being nosy and staring at them, his glare scaring them as they quickly turned back around to mind their own business. "Let's go kid." Ainosuke said as he tried to walk but the boy pulled on him once more. "What now!?" Ainosuke exclaimed, glaring down at the boy.
The redhead boy furrowed his brow, sniffling. "Hand."
Ainosuke stared in disbelief at the boy before sighing exasperated and offering his hand to the kid. The kid seemed to cheer up a little because he giggled and took Ainosuke's big hand before the two of them started to walk away from there. "By the way, what's your name kid?" Ainosuke asked.
"Reki." Reki said, glancing up to stare at Ainosuke's unamused side face. "What's your name, big brother?"
Ainosuke didn't feel like giving his real name to a kid. "Adam."
Reki smiled up at Ainosuke before staring back ahead. "That's a cool name."
Ainosuke let out a breath through his nose with a small smile. "Thanks."
Ainosuke ended up buying Reki some savory mochi balls. They were sitting down at one of the food court tables while Reki finished his treat. "So, where are you parents? You came with them, right?"
"Mhm."
"They must be worried."
Reki just kept on eating.
Ainosuke raised an eyebrow at him. "Aren't you scared?"
Reki shook his head. "I have big brother Adam with me."
Ainosuke hummed as he watched Reki eat. For a snotty little brat, he could be a little cute. "When you're finished, we'll look for your mom or dad, okay?"
"Okay." Reki said, his voice sounded dejected as he downcasted his gaze.
When Reki finished his last mochi, they walked around and as if Reki wanted to distract Ainosuke from looking for Reki's parents, Reki kept pulling Ainosuke inside some of the stores. Not that Ainosuke minded, he wasn't in a hurry or anything. And, if he was being honest, he didn't mind Reki's company. Right now, Reki pulled Ainosuke into a video game store.
Ainosuke was as amazed as Reki, both of them excitedly looked around. "Big brother, look!" Reki pointed to a table where two DS rested against each other, like a tryout of the product. Ainosuke frowned. Did they always do that? No one is playing it either. Ainosuke thought as he glanced around and saw a few kids and teens his age just browsing the games. Reki pulled Ainosuke by his hand with a smile. "Come on, let's play!"
Reki and Ainosuke walked over to where the table was, picking one of the DS while Reki grabbed the other. Ainosuke looked around, but no one seemed to be batting an eye at them. "What game do you want to play, big brother Adam?"
Ainosuke glanced back at Reki. "I don't care, really. Just pick your favorite game or something."
Reki pouted and it was cute. "Fine, but next time you should choose what you like, big brother!"
Ainosuke looked at Reki amused. Were those words really coming from a little kid like him?
Reki ended up picking Mario Kart. At least, Ainosuke got the chance to play it. Ainosuke chose Shy Guy while Reki chose Bowser. "Why didn't you pick Mario?" Ainosuke asked, glancing down at Reki with an eyebrow raised.
Reki grinned up. "I like him better!"
Ainosuke shrugged, not giving it more thought as the game started. The countdown siren and the traffic light reminded Ainosuke of something, but he pushed it at the back of his mind as the race started and on the most annoying track too! Rainbow Road. Though, Ainosuke ended up having fun because he wasn't the only one falling at every turn and it was funny to get Reki angry each time he sent him a red shell. Though, he ended up biting his own words when Reki sent him a blue shell.
Ainosuke held onto Reki's hand as Reki skipped by his side, humming a melody. They reached a central part of the mall where a fake Santa was sitting down on a big red chair with Christmas decor around so kids could sit down on his lap and tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas. Reki gasped. "It's Santa! Big brother, let's go and meet Santa!" Reki exclaimed, pulling Ainosuke's hand as he glanced up at Ainosuke, star-eyed, pink dusting his round cheeks as he pointed at where Santa was sitting.
Ainosuke snickered as he glanced down at Reki. "Don't you know? Santa isn't real, Reki." As soon as the words left his mouth, Ainosuke regretted it as Reki's excited face slowly faltered. Instead, his brows tipped up as his precious amber eyes started to water again and sobbed. Ainosuke's guilty consciousness stabbed right through his heart —Damn, he still had one?— and when Reki tried to pull away from him, it just deepened the stab. "J-Joking! I was joking, okay!?"
Reki sniffled, glaring with a cute pout at Ainosuke. "Big brother Adam is so mean."
Ainosuke sighed, defeated as he let go of Reki and sat on his heels. Resting his arms on his knees and hung his head low before he shook his head with closed eyes. "What am I doing? We should be looking for your parents, not wasting time." Ainosuke sighed again. "I'm the worst."
Reki stared at him before patting his hooded head with a smile. "There, there! I love big brother Adam."
Ainosuke opened his eyes wide before glancing at Reki since they were at eye level in this position. "You… love me?"
Reki's amber eyes glinted as he smiled with a slight blush on his cheeks. "Yes!"
Ainosuke, however, narrowed his eyes on Reki. "Well, you shouldn't." Ainosuke stated, downcasting his gaze. "Like you said, I'm mean and I say bad words and I'm not perfect or anything." Ainosuke snickered as he grimaced. "I mean, I can't even stand myself."
Reki only stayed quiet before he stood in front of Ainosuke and wrapped his small arms around Ainosuke's crouched down figure for a hug, surprising Ainosuke. "I love big brother Adam even if he's mean like the Grinch."
Ainosuke widened his eyes again before he furrowed his brow. "Even if I'm a monster?"
Reki giggled. "I love monsters!"
Ainosuke's face softened before chuckling. "You shouldn't go around saying that, Reki."
Reki pouted. "Eh? Why not?"
Because you start longing for this warmth. Ainosuke thought before gently breaking the hug and grabbing both of Reki's small hands. "Because someone might try to steal you away and keep you locked in!"
"No way!"
"Yes way! Now, let's go!" Ainosuke exclaimed as he stood up and took hold of Reki's hand and stared down at him with a smile. "You said you wanted to meet Santa, right?"
Reki smiled back at Ainosuke before nodding enthusiastically.
Ainosuke waited in line with an excited and hyper Reki jumping by his side and exclaiming how excited he was to finally meet Santa. Ainosuke rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."
A mother behind them chuckled at the warmth scene. "What a good older brother taking his little brother to meet Santa!" She exclaimed, the woman was holding a baby in her arms. He had dark hair with round green eyes that stared intently and without blinking at Ainosuke.
Ainosuke tensed up as he glanced away from the baby. Reki laughed joyfully. "I love my big brother!" Reki exclaimed. "He's the best!"
Ainosuke blushed, embarrassed as he further pulled on his hood. "I told you to stop saying embarrassing stuff like that!" Ainosuke grumbled.
The woman chuckled again as her baby made sounds, shifting on her hold as his small hand waved at Reki. Reki grinned and waved back at him. "Hello, baby!"
"His name's Miya."
"Hello, Miya! I'm Reki" Reki exclaimed.
The mom smiled while Miya made a happy babbling sound and smiled at Reki. Giggling as Reki made funny faces.
Soon it was Reki and Ainosuke's turn. Reki ran up to Santa's lap while Ainosuke awkwardly stood at the front of the line, waiting for Reki to finish. "Ho. Ho. Ho! What's your name, little one?" Santa asked.
"Reki!"
"Reki, are you here with someone?"
"Yes! With my older brother, Adam."
Santa chuckled. "I see and have you been a good kid?"
"Yeah!" Reki exclaimed with a closed eyed smile.
"What would you like for Christmas, Reki?"
Reki hummed in thought before grinning up at Santa. "I want some new crayons and a Gundam and some Hot Wheels and I also want a cat! A very fat one!" Reki exclaimed.
Santa nodded. "I see, I will keep all of that in mind!"
Reki jumped off of Santa's lap and Ainosuke offered his hand so they could leave but Reki spoke again. "It's big brother's turn now!"
"Huh!? No way!"
Reki pouted. "Come on, big brother!" Reki whined, walking up to hug Ainosuke's legs and glancing up at him with puppy eyes.
Ainosuke tensed up as he felt his right eyebrow twitch. "N-No, I'm too old for-"
"Pleeeeease? Do it for me!" Reki faked a sniffle as he puckered up his bottom lip.
Ainosuke sighed, defeated again. "Why is it that I can never say no to you, brat?" Ainosuke asked, annoyed.
Reki chuckled with a smug grin. "Because you love me!"
Ainosuke smirked as he pinched one of Reki's cheeks, making Reki protest. "You wish!" Ainosuke teased before he walked over to Santa and sat on his lap with arms crossed. Santa smiled up at Ainosuke.
"Ho. Ho. Ho! What's your name, young man?"
"Adam."
"What a fancy name!" Santa exclaimed with a jolly laugh. "So, have you behaved properly this year?"
Ainosuke smirked. "If I wasn't, what would you do?"
"Adam!" Reki reprimanded.
Ainosuke huffed. "I've been good this year, Santa." He said through gritted teeth as Ainosuke rolled his eyes and glanced away.
"And what would you like?"
Ainosuke pondered for a while. It didn't matter what he said, he was either gifted practical shit like socks or money. Is there something I want? Ainosuke thought. His mind drifted back to the summer his dear skateboard was burnt to ashes. Ainosuke narrowed his eyes. "A new skateboard." Ainosuke said, though it was so low, Santa almost didn't catch it.
Santa hummed. "And what else?"
He wants more? Ainosuke thought as he raised an eyebrow at Santa. Ainosuke glanced around until his eyes connected to Reki's amber ones. He was standing next to a pink haired elf as he waited for Ainosuke to finish. Reki smiled at Ainosuke when their eyes connected. Ainosuke's facial features softened and his mouth moved faster than his brain. "A friend."
Santa smiled up at Ainosuke. "I believe you will have what you want, Ainosuke." Santa said before patting Ainosuke in the back. Ainosuke stood up and walked over to where Reki was. Wait, did he say my real name? Ainosuke thought as he grabbed Reki's small hand and glanced back at Santa. Noticing a strand of green hair peeking from underneath the hat.
"Big brother Adam, let's go!" Reki exclaimed, pulling Ainosuke by the hand and catching his attention back.
"Okay, okay! Don't pull too hard." Ainosuke said as he allowed Reki to guide him once again.
Reki and Ainosuke wandered outside the mall, the sky already dark as it tended to get during winter. "Are you sure you saw your parents walk out?" Ainosuke asked, narrowing his eyes down in suspicion at Reki.
Reki glanced up at Ainosuke with an innocent smile. "Yep!" He exclaimed. "Let me sit on your shoulders! Maybe I can see them."
That didn't seem like a bad idea.
Ainosuke let go of Reki's hand —it had become a habit to grab it— as he kneeled down so Reki could climb up to his shoulders before Ainosuke grabbed Reki's legs and slowly stood back up. Reki giggled. "I feel like a giant!"
Ainosuke chuckled. "Of course you would." Ainosuke laughed. Reki laughed too.
Ainosuke walked around, listening to Reki sing along to the Christmas songs as he moved slightly from side to side. "Are you looking for your parents!?" Ainosuke asked, annoyed as Reki sang 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'.
"Yeah!" Reki exclaimed.
"You keep saying that, but I'm starting to doubt it." Ainosuke grumbled.
"Ah! Big brother Adam look!" Reki exclaimed, pointing ahead. Ainosuke blinked and glanced at where Reki was pointing. There were a few colorful lights, almost like an aurora in the distance. Must be the light show from the Okinawa Zoo Museum. Ainosuke thought.
"It's coming from the Zoo." Ainosuke explained.
"Let's check it out!"
"What about your parents?" Ainosuke asked, raising an eyebrow at Reki. Reki let out a nervous yelp.
"I-I think I saw them going there!"
Ainosuke sighed. "Sure. Whatever."
"Yay!" Reki exclaimed.
Ainosuke had put Reki down so he could run around, making amazed sounds as they passed the illuminated decor and went through a heart-shaped tunnel with pink lighting. Reki laughed and told Ainosuke to hurry up or they'll miss the show.
Ainosuke let out a soft breath through his nose as he gave him a lopsided smile and followed behind Reki. They arrived on time to see the fireworks. Ainosuke was staring up at the sky, watching a wide range of colorful explosions with Reki making amazed sounds by his side. What time is it? I have to go back to that stupid party. Ainosuke thought. Although, Ainosuke didn't feel like going.
He liked this better. Being in a bustling place, watching the fireworks rather than being stuck in a suit at a party where mostly adults talked and got drunk. Ainosuke would prefer to stay in his room, but he was forced to socialize with family members who sometimes don't even bother to be fake with him. Ainosuke frowned, the feeling that he was forgetting something important coming back to nag him at the back of his mind.
"They're pretty!" Reki exclaimed.
"Yeah, I guess." Ainosuke said with a small smile. Watching the fireworks change colors or sometimes be in shapes like the head of a Santa if that was even possible. "It's not so bad." for my last Christmas in Okinawa, anyway. Ainosuke thought. He managed to sneak out, wandered around and though at first Reki was a little pain in the ass, he ended up being great company. Ainosuke felt the most free he's ever been by Reki's side and trying things he previously hadn't. Like playing Mario Kart on a DS, which his aunts forbade because video games might make Ainosuke dumber —or violent depending on which game—, he got to sit on Santa's lap and tell him his wish even though he doesn't believe in him.
And now, here he was.
Watching fireworks outside where there were many people huddling together. His aunts would faint if they saw him here alongside normal people. Ainosuke snickered. It's not like we are the Imperial family or anything like that. Ainosuke thought, finding the way his aunts carry themselves like they were royalty ridiculous.
"Big brother Adam, did you have fun today?" Reki asked.
Ainosuke kept looking at the sky, the lights and fireworks were the only thing reflected on his eyes. "Yeah, I had fun today." Ainosuke said, smiling. "I was having a bad day early today, but thanks to you I feel better."
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
Silence.
"Do you love someone, big brother Adam?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Duh! Because I love my big brother!"
Ainosuke laughed. "Well, thank you for loving me." Ainosuke said, pausing before he took a deep breath. "I used to."
"Not anymore?"
"Well, that person didn't love me back."
"Did you confess?"
"Yep! I was nervous too, believe it or not." Ainosuke said, raising his eyebrows as he smiled sadly. "But Cher-I mean, this person rejected me."
Reki hummed in acknowledgement.
"And then, later on, I liked someone new."
"Is that so?"
"But, they also rejected me!" Ainosuke strained a laugh, brows tipped up. What was he saying? Who was this other person?
"Why?"
"The second person that I liked, liked someone else." Ainosuke explained. There was a few seconds of silence, where Ainosuke closed his eyes and let the winter breeze hit his face. "But you know something, Reki? Sometimes life isn't how we always want it to be."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because the person they liked, loved me."
Oh.
Ainosuke opened his eyes again, the sight before him was of the beach at night. The waves grazed the tip of his dress shoes that Ainosuke used for work. In the reflection of the ocean, he could see himself as who he was. An adult. Ainosuke looked beside him to see a smiling Reki, but he wasn't the child he was with. Reki was a young adult now. Wearing the same winter clothes from that eventful Christmas where they bumped for the first time outside of S because Chihiro, one of the twins, had gotten lost in the mall and Ainosuke had found her because she was clinging to him.
Reki had eventually found them and apologized profoundly for the trouble, but that hadn't been the end of it. Chihiro ended up liking Ainosuke so much, she wanted him to come along and come along he did. Though, as a little payback, Reki forced Shindo Ainosuke to sit on Santa's lap.
He ended up being invited for Christmas dinner at Reki's home and Ainosuke had accepted to go as his payback to Reki, but ended up being pleasantly surprised by how warm and welcoming the Kyan family ended up being.
Something important kept creeping up the back of Ainosuke's mind.
The wind made Reki's red hair sway gently and paired with the tender golden gaze and smile was making it hard for Ainosuke to look away. Ainosuke's eyes started to water because he never expected to be looked at that way. "Ainosuke, are you ready?" Reki asked, his tone surprisingly soft.
"Ready for what?" Ainosuke asked, feeling a knot already forming in his throat.
Reki chuckled before pointing behind him.
Ainosuke blinked before turning back and his breath hitch as he widened his eyes. In the distance, there was a woman standing there. His mother. Using the same beautiful long white dress Ainosuke saw her wear once in a photo he had been sneakily given by one of his mother's family members before they were forcefully kicked out when Ainosuke was a teen. Her long purple hair swayed almost ethereally and her crimson eyes glinted with joy. "Mom?" He asked, his voice shaky.
Ainosuke slowly started to make his way towards her before he was running and he felt himself shrinking somehow until he reached her. Ainosuke's mother smiled with a chuckle before carrying her child up to her arms. "My dear, I'm sorry I wasn't able to carry you in my arms." Ainosuke's mother brushed some of Ainosuke's bangs away from his face. "I'm sorry this body of mine couldn't protect you from harm."
Ainosuke's vision was blurry as tears started to fall down from his eyes. He shook his head. "I-It's okay, mom! I'm doing well now." His voice was back to being higher. Like he was a child again.
Ainosuke's mother wiped away his tears with a soft smile. "Is that so?" Ainosuke's mother glanced at Reki with an approving smile before glancing back at Ainosuke. "Ai, baby, are you happy?"
Ainosuke's tears couldn't stop flowing, he nodded with a wry smile at his mother through the tears. "Yes, mom! I'm happy! The happiest I've ever been!"
Ainosuke's mother chuckled again before resting their foreheads together. "I see. I'm glad you're happy, my child." Ainosuke's mother kissed his forehead. "Never forget that mommy loves you, Ainosuke." She said as her voice became distant and Ainosuke's vision started going black.
Ainosuke stirred in his sleep, brow furrowed as he tightened his grip and further nuzzled into the warmth close to his body. He felt a hand pass through his royal blue locks, nails gently racking his scalp while a thumb wiped away the tears that had fallen in his sleep. "Did you have another nightmare?" Reki softly asked, as he shifted a bit under Ainosuke's tight embrace.
Ainosuke hummed, slowly blinking himself awake and staring into Reki's neck. "I had a strange dream." Ainosuke whispered as he loosened his grip and allowed Reki to move down a little so they were face to face. Reki reached his left hand to cup Ainosuke's face, Ainosuke leaned into his touch and smiled as he felt the cold metal around Reki's left fourth finger. "You were there."
Reki smiled back at Ainosuke. "I was?"
"Yes, you were a kid in my dream, but only in the beginning." Ainosuke said as he started to tell Reki everything about his dream as Reki gently caressed his cheekbone, his amber eyes full of adoration and sympathy as he listened to every word. "And then, my mom showed up."
Reki's eyes widened. "What did she say?"
Ainosuke let out a soft breath through his nose as he grabbed Reki's left wrist and started kissing Reki's hand from the fingertips to the pulse in his wrist. "She asked me if I was happy."
"And what did you say?"
Before Ainosuke could say anything, fast small footsteps sprinted down the hall into their room before the door was slammed open. "Papa! Daddy!" A young girl with long dark blue hair and amber eyes shouted, running up and climbing up the bed with her fathers.
"Himari!" Reki exclaimed, extending his arm so their daughter could settle between them.
"Listen to this, Dads!" Himari exclaimed, star-eyed. Like Reki. Ainosuke thought as he wrapped an arm over both his daughter and husband so they could huddle together. "Santa left me a buuuunch of gifts!" Himari said, extending both of her small arms up.
Ainosuke chuckled. "Is that so?" He asked, glancing knowingly at Reki who was glancing back with a knowing smile. "Did you open them?"
"Yeah!"
"And? Did Santa bring you what you wanted?" Reki asked, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear.
Himari smiled wide, eyes glinting. "Yes!" She brought up her small fingers as she started to count her gift. "Santa brought me the Barbie dolls I asked for, Gabby's Dollhouse, some new crayons, the cute purple roller skaters I wanted…" Ainosuke stared lovingly at his family with a small smile. Laughing alongside them when Himari laughed because her laughter was simply so contagious.
He loved his new family.
After Himari jumped out of their bed to run back to play with her new toys, Ainosuke and Reki stared at each other. "I told her that I was happy." Ainosuke finished.
Reki smiled. "Merry Christmas, Ai."
Ainosuke chuckled. "Merry Christmas, my love."