Kuchi no naka ni tsuba wo haite kure (Kanda Yuux OCReader)

by Mato Tomato

'It had all begun as a jest, a whim, an insignificant opportunity. While it's true that I wanted to aid my studies by getting a native to teach me their language, that being Kanda Yu, I didn't expect all this to develop from it. [... Truth is, I was beginning to have trouble understanding just what those feelings were for him. Trouble accepting that, perhaps, I fancied him.'

-Kuchi no naka ni tsuba wo haite kure

Enséñame japonés

-Hey, you're Japanese, right?

-Excuse me? -his eyes barely looked at mine before carrying on his way, so I followed right back struggling to catch up to him.

-Please teach me Japanese! You see, I've been learning it a bit here and a bit there but, as you most probably know, it's quite hard finding someone who speaks it, let alone someone who's fluent in it, so I'm reaching a stagnation point and I need someone to practice with. So, please.

He didn't answer, simply carrying on his way towards somewhere unknown within the enormous, dark and mysterious tower we call Homebase. His steps echoed in the vast emptiness of the building as I slowly began to lose sight of his tall figure.

Among the Order, Kanda Yu is a very famous exorcist for being extremely talented, efficient in his missions and cool-headed in the most trying of times, but part of what makes up his fame is his terrible personality: moody, hot-headed, dismissive and hard to work with. Nonetheless, I wasn't going to let this hold me back, I had made it a mission of mine to master the Japanese language even if it meant chasing this man all around the tower and insisting until he caves in.

So far this had been my first attempt at catching his attention ーI figured it'd be better if I was honest from the beginning, since he most likely preferred straightforward people rather than those that beat around the bushー. But, as expected, he had merely brushed off my request, acting as if I was nothing but an annoying little fly hovering around.

Not willing to give up just yet, I tried again during dinner time.

I entered the dining hall visually searching for a head of deep black hair tied up in a ponytail, conspicuous among a crowd of exorcists and Finders alike enjoying their last meal of the day.

There he was, sitting upright, delicately holding the chopsticks in his hand to eat his udon noodle soup. He stood out mostly due to his lonely and quiet self in the midst of a group of cheerful people chatting the night away. Yet it seemed like he truly didn't mind his aloneness as he sported a tranquil and mindful expression on his face while eating in silence. I made my way through the crowd until I reached the table in which he was sitting, taking a seat right in front of him and giving him a timid smile before addressing him again. He looked at me angrily.

-So, resuming our conversation from earlier. I have a huge respect for your culture and would love to learn your language. It has such an interesting pace, and the alphabet reminds me of my native language's alphabet even though they are not related at all, thus making it easier for me to learn it. And I'd be truly honored to learn from you.

At this point I felt like I was rambling, failing to quell my nervousness.

Maybe if I insisted enough I'd get him to agree to my small petition. After all, wouldn't it be nice to have someone to talk with in your native language? I know I miss talking to someone in my own language for sure. He didn't respond to my request and continued eating his meal in silence as if I had never even spoken to him. Patiently, I sat there waiting for him to finish his meal before following him to the area where all the empty food trays were deposited.

He truly didn't want to acknowledge my presence as he made his way towards the privacy of his room. Perhaps he thought I'd eventually give up, upon receiving nothing but a cold shoulder from him. But what a fool he was, as I can be quite insistent.

-So, I was thinking that perhaps we could do a couple hours in the evening, although mornings can work too if you prefer it that way.

He turned to face me, clearly annoyed.

-Look, I'm gonna tell you this once, so listen carefully. I don't care for you nor for your curiosity in my language. You want to learn? Go visit the Science Division, they have an arsenal of books in all kinds of topics. Need someone to practice with? Move out to the Asian branch!

And with that he turned his back to me and entered his room slamming the door shut behind him.

-Mmm? -I yelled out nonchalantly- but I don't wanna. It's too far!

Faced with silence I gave up for the night.

Eventually, I made my way towards my own room on the other side of the tower. There, mountains of books awaited me. I had taken them back to my room borrowed from the Science Division library so I could study the Japanese language as much as I could. I took the book at the top of the pile and flipped through the pages.

-Ben-kyou ni shi-masu.- I muttered to myself,- Benkyou ni shimasu.

Pronouncing short sentences was easy for me, but when it came to longer ones I found myself awkwardly losing the pace.

-Ni-hon-go o oshi-ete ku-da-sai, nihongo o oshiete kudasai. Please teach me japanese. This extra ''o'' is confusing the hell out of me!

And so, I spent the night away practicing some simple sentences so I could face my fellow exorcist again tomorrow. The plan was to catch him off guard and only talk to him in Japanese so he'd be fooled into answering me, naturally, in Japanese. But in order for that to work I needed to say these sentences as close to a native accent as possible, otherwise I'd not only make a fool out of myself but he'd quickly catch on to my shenanigans and would most likely dismiss me completely.

Now, you may be wondering what is the purpose of learning a language if I truly have no use for it, we can't even travel to Japan due to the whole ''akuma reigning over the land'' thing. To that I don't have a good enough answer. I could argue that during my childhood years I had a fleeting friendship with a Japanese girl that taught me some words in her language as I taught her some of my own, but the truth is I simply wanted to learn on a whim. I believe that our world expands by learning, and learning a new language is an experience that goes beyond the act of just studying the words. It makes your mind sharper, you also learn what's behind the language itself such as the culture, the religion, the history of its people and even geographic regions and how the language changes depending on where it's spoken. It's truly an enriching experience, like unlocking a new layer of the universe, language being the key to pass through its tightly shut gates.

After a few more hours of studying under the dim light, I put the book back on top of the pile and clumsily made my way between the other standing towers of books in order to get myself in bed.

Early in the morning I was awoken by a knock on my door.

-Yes?

-Ma'am, the chief is asking for you in his office.

-Of course, I'll be there in a couple minutes.

It hadn't been that long since I came to the Order although my brush with innocence had been practically since birth. Parasitic-style innocence that weighed me down and sucked the life out of me. Contrary to the rest of my fellow parasitic-styled innocence exorcists, I wasn't always hungry or in need of an excess of calories, but my particular ability would take a big toll on my health the more I made use of it. My teacher urged me to come to the Black Order to better understand how to make use of it and how to keep it from consuming me inside-out. And so I made my journey to the tall dark tower situated in the middle of heaven knows where.

So far I hadn't made many friends and had quickly learned that those you do make may be gone too soon. Death was at every single one of our doorsteps and grief was a privilege we could not indulge in too often, and perhaps that was the reason I feared making new friends seeing as I'd be risking not only losing them but also forgetting the faces of those I had lost before. A mixture of guilt and fear loomed over us all like a guillotine hanging over our heads ready to fall at any second.

I made my way down the stairs and into Komui Lee's office, there he was behind a desk almost completely drowned in papers and letters. He wore a white lab coat sporting some not so discrete coffee stains on the slopes of his neck, his glasses laid forgotten on his desk as he slept a short-lived nap while waiting for my arrival.

-Sir? You called for me? -I shyly interrupted his sleep.

-Oh yes, welcome -he straightened his lab coat and put on his dark rectangular glasses on-. Today I'll be assigning you to your first mission. There's been some abnormal activity in the mountainous region of Aldeia da Mata Pequena in Portugal, some locals have reported seeing phosphorescent trees during the night and dead animals in the surrounding areas.

-Interesting…

-Truly so. Now, I'd normally wait for their arrival before assigning you to a General's team but due to our current shortage of exorcists, you will be joining General Tiedoll's party out in the field. Right now they are on a mission around Porto so after you're done in Aldeia da Mata Pequena please join them there. Don't be shy to make use of the telephones available with our Finders, Finder Kenny will accompany you and will drop you off at the train station when you make your way to Porto. Any questions?

I shook my head side to side as an answer.

-Perfect, well then I hope you have a safe trip.

-Actually, I do have one question. Who's General Tiedoll?

-Oh, he's quite the kind man. He's a tall older man, bushy hair, likes to paint -he trailed off as if I'd be able to recognize him by that very poor description of him-. Truth be told, I'd like you to stick with him since your ability seems to be similar to his and I'm sure he could be a good mentor for you.

-Alright then. I'm eager to meet him -I turned my back to him ready to exit the room.

-Oh, one more thing, -he cleared his throat- Tiedoll's team is quite unique, I'm specifically talking about our fine exorcist Kanda Yu. He's… a little hard to get along with, but please don't take it personally. It takes him a while to warm up to newcomers.

My face immediately struck up a mischievous smile, one which I tried suppressing to no avail. So, destiny had put me right on the path to this man. It was the most perfectly calculated excuse to approach him once again, and this time he wouldn't be able to slam his door in my face.

It felt a little strange going alone in this mission, Kenny was awful quiet most likely due to being shy. During the train ride to the village of Mata Pequena, he'd sneak in a couple curious looks at me as if waiting for an opportunity to make small chat, then I'd smile back shyly as if inviting him to chat.

-So, you're new in the Order? -he braved twiddling his thumbs.

-Sort of yes, I'm not new to the whole innocence side of it but yes to being an actual exorcist. It's kind of strange, you know? The whole concept of the Black Order, I feel a little intimidated.

-Intimidated? -he seemed surprised.

-Well…, everyone seems so strong and hardworking. They're so focused, tough and peculiar. And they move around in tight closed groups, so I haven't really had the chance to get to know anyone and I'm starting to feel a little left out.

-I see, it's true that lately most of our exorcists have been busy out on missions. Well, if you don't mind us Finders, you're always welcome at our table.

-Oh, thank you, -I blushed- it'll be nice having someone to chat with at dinner time.

We sat in silence for the next couple stops until we arrived at our destination. As the door opened we stood up to exit the train struggling to make our way in between the crowded hallway. The outside greeted us with nice and warm weather, the Sun stood high in the sky shining its light above our heads, its strength lessened by the swaying of the cool late spring wind. All the way from the platform we could visualize the tall mountains surrounding the town, somewhere around those trees was the anomaly we were looking for.

-We shouldn't waste much time, we need to get there before sundown -Kenny hurried up.

Quickly we made our way through town only stopping a couple times to ask the locals for directions towards the strange glowing trees. Turns out it is a grave mistake to ask about the trees, we learned, because the locals we asked would ramble endlessly about the entire history of the town, the local gossip ーlike how Abraão had sneakily emptied his waste buckets on his neighbor's stable at midnight, or how Lorena was seen hanging her flamboyant undergarments outside for Lourenço, Beatriz's husband, to enjoyー, and the many conspiracy theories about the strange night phenomenon. After some yes'es and a few more uh huh's we finally managed to reach the inner parts of the forest.

At first glance everything seemed normal, the Sun was setting already but the trees showed no sign of turning a bright green, blue or yellow. We sat on the ground while waiting for the daylight to be completely gone.

-So, have you been in the Order long? -I resumed our earlier conversation.

-A little, a couple years is considered a long time for us Finders.

-That's really sad, I take it you've lost many friends then?

-Quite a few, if I'm being honest, -he smiled melancholically- but they all died bravely and for a very noble cause. None of their deaths were in vain.

-You're quite strong -I was in awe at his resilience.

-It's not really a choice, if you can't be strong then you can't really work as a member of the Order. Many in the Order take us for granted, as if our lives were disposable to them, but we take great pride in what we do. It's in all of us's interest to fight against the Millenium Earl and his army of monsters.

-Well, I believe you guys are way braver and stronger than us. We exorcists all have some sort of special power, ability or weapon to aid us in our battles; yet you guys go out there with nothing but your own strength ーno innocence powerー, and yet you manage to survive against the awful wicked akuma. No weapons, only human, just pure willpower and bravery. That's what's really admirable.

-Woah, we don't hear this very often. Thank you, it truly means a lot to us.

-I only speak the truth -I smiled at him wholeheartedly-. Anyway, we should probably start looking for those glowing trees.

Both of us stood up beginning our search around the area, keeping an eye open for even the faintest glow emanating from within the barks of the trees. An all consuming darkness surrounded us, it would have been absolutely normal, seeing as we had a New Moon and the lights coming from the village were few and far, but this particular darkness seemed odd. Something about how opaque the shadows of the forest were, the absolute lack of animal noises or of any other nocturnal activity brought a chill down our spines, it was almost… disorienting.

-Do you feel this too? -Kenny asked.

-Yeah, there's definitely something strange going on.

Despite the warning bells in my mind I continued making my way through the thickness of the mountain, at some point I had lost complete sight of my companion only realizing my solitude as I came across the faintest glow emanating from a small and almost dry tree. «''Kenny, I think I've found it''»', was met with absolute silence. I was alone. The hairs at the back of my neck stood up, something was telling me to tread very carefully from now on. I turned around slowly, coming face to face with a Level 2 akuma, it'd been standing there for some time, quietly waiting for me to become aware of its presence.

-This little piggy lost its way home -the thing said-. My, my, what are we to ever do?

''We?'' I thought to myself, could there be more Level 2 akuma around here? Not moving too abruptly I looked around the forest in search of any other possible presences. There, high in the sky, a dozen Level 1 akuma levitated stealthily.

''Dammit''.

Those Level 1 I could easily deal with, but this one Level 2 right in front of me would prove to be a problem. I needed distance or a distraction in order to use my ability, and right now I had neither. I wasn't particularly good at hand to hand combat seeing as I seldom needed to make use of it, but now I was urgently in need of some accumulated practice.

-You seem to be cornered, little piggy.

-And you seem to have me confused with a little pig, however I'm more of a voracious wolf -I smiled at the strange amorphous thing capable of speech.

Its smile vanished completely along with its smug face only to be replaced with one of annoyance. It quickly lunged at me with sharp metal claws that tore everything in its way, a slight tap of those on me and I'd be risking bleeding out even if I wore a double layered leather coat and thick gloves with steel reinforcements on the top side. The demon's speed was also scary, its legs moved too fast for my mere human eyes to follow and my feet clumsily moved around in the wet forest soil, barely managing to escape their predator. All I needed was for it to lose sight of me for a couple seconds but for now, that just seemed impossible.

Not losing any time, the long wicked figure ordered the ones floating above our heads to fire at me and at anything else that moved. I hid behind the tree trunks strategically in order to avoid getting shot, each movement was closely being followed up by an attack on the Level 2's side. This damn thing would just not give up! But I wasn't about to quit.

-Kenny, shine the damn light! -I yelled at the top of my lungs praying for my Finder friend to hear me in the midst of this vast forested area.

From the depths of the darkness an iridescent light slashed through the abysmal night trapping in its way a couple Level 1 akuma in the sky. That seemed to do the trick, as the Level 2 demon turned around searching for the source of the strange beacon of light. Quickly, I sat behind a thick tree trunk covering my ears with my hands and tightly shutting my eyes. In my mind I envisioned the position of every single one of those dozen Level 1's, large ivory trees tore out from the ground growing taller, rising towards the sky and only ceasing once they reached their target. I was envisioning all akuma being pierced right through the middle by the tree's branches. Then, leaving no chance for the Level 2 to react, I imagined his cold metallic body being twisted and scrunched into a thin metal plate just like you would when discarding an empty can of food.

Sitting in silence, I finally opened my eyes and uncovered my ears. There was no sign of the floating akuma and on the ground, right next to me, was that crushed metallic piece of akuma scrap. I kicked it with the tip of my boot, setting some distance between us before it exploded into ashes right before touching the ground again. That was a close one.

Now I could safely retrieve the innocence inside that one small dying tree. A passing feeling of sadness overcame me as I snapped the poor thing in two revealing the glowing sphere inside it.

-I'm sorry little tree -I apologized.

As I started to make my way down the mountain I was met by Kenny who wore a concerned look on his face.

-Are you alright? I lost trace of you -he struggled to say, panting after running up the mountain.

-Yeah, I dealt with the situation and got myself a nice looking innocence.

-Wow, you're pretty awesome. I guess it was you who destroyed those floating akuma too, right?

-Yep, I got lucky getting them on the first try.

-Oh… -his face went back to worry mode- your nose is bleeding.

I looked down at my chest, indeed I had a nosebleed and it was getting my coat all bloody.

-Ah yeah, it's nothing. You should see, I also have a splitting headache.

-You're not very resistant to the stress of a fight, huh? -he joked lightheartedly.

We both laughed as we walked down the rest of the steep mountain.

That night we slept at a nearby inn and, after a nice full breakfast and some hot coffee, we walked back to the train station leaving behind the green forest hills and the small stone houses with moss covered roofs. We said our goodbyes, promising to work together some time again in the future. He left first, taking a train southwards to Algarve.

After something of a half an hour later, I boarded the train towards Porto ready to begin a new adventure.

Having gotten some shut eye during the journey to Porto,ーand seeing no sign of General Tiedollー, I was feeling energetic enough to venture out into the city. I visited the market and then walked around going into the little shops set aside around the narrow corridors of town. Cobblestone paths led me to a small cafe ran by a young couple. They welcomed me in Portuguese and I answered in broken Spanish, the closest thing to the Portuguese language I could speak. The couple was pleasantly surprised to hear me speak Spanish and the husband, born in Spain, pulled up a chair to chat with me while his lovely wife brewed some of their specialty coffee. After a few hours of exchanging stories about the different places we had traveled to, I thanked the couple along with a hefty tip before leaving.

This was a lovely town, picturesque and cozy. The light shined differently here, as if it was more golden, warmer, almost healing. The air around Porto was lively but not overwhelming, the people were kind and welcoming, and this port city had many sights to show to a passing traveler. Had I not had to meet up with the General soon, I would have taken the time to properly venture around in its colorful streets.

I asked around for a man fitting the Chief's vague description of General Tiedoll. It was hard communicating with some of the locals, but an old couple managed to tell me he'd been seen travelling with two other men wearing long dark coats. One tall bald man and another one sporting a tall ponytail and a sourpuss on his face; I couldn't help but laugh at that last man's description, it was definitely Kanda Yu.

If I could complain about anything in Porto, it would have to be their irregular streets and the steep hills to get anywhere. My already sore feet, from last night's hike, were on fire today, proving to hurt too much to keep on walking. So I gave up and simply sat defeated on the stair steps of a yellow house.

-General, we really don't have time to keep looking for that bakery -a manly but tame voice sneaked into the alleyway.

-Now now, it'll only take a minute. You'll see, it's worth every penny -an older softer voice answered.

-Can we just go already?! -A third man joined the conversation, yet I could still not see anyone around.

Ah! I realized it was the angry exorcist's voice, there was no denying it. I stood up hurriedly to meet the group before I could lose track of them again. Almost out of the alleyway stood three tall men all in dark coats, even from a distance their silver Black Order insignias were clearly visible on their chests. These had been the men I'd been looking for all afternoon.

Rushing to meet them I ran the distance between us, only stopping once I was a few steps away from them. The tallest man, the bald one, seemed to have noticed me before even being able to see me, although he wasn't particularly concerned with my abrupt presence. The other two men slowly turned their heads to face me, I could see the ponytail one choking back some saliva seeing me come into frame.

-Oh, you're here! -the older man said, he indeed had kind eyes and bushy ash hair-. We've been looking for you.

-I waited for you at the station but it was getting late so I decided to search around town for you -I excused myself.

The younger exorcist's stare weighed down on the general as if putting blame on him for not meeting me at the train station and most likely making us all waste precious time. All for what I imagined, was a really good bakery somewhere around this town. The General apologized, letting out a hooting laughter.

-It's alright, don't worry -I went ahead to say before creating any sort of conflict between the four of us-. I had some coffee with a nice couple that runs a small shop a few blocks away from here. Porto is a lovely city with many sights to see.

-Right it is -the bald man said, I questioned this line as his eyes had been closed the entire time.

-This is Marie, -General Tiedoll introduced us- he has quite the sense of humor.

We shook hands combined with a slight bow.

-And this is Yu, he's not usually this angry -the General seemed to have a completely warped idea of who his students were.

-Oh yeah, I've met him already. He's teaching me Japanese -I suppressed a malicious laugh, ready to fuck with him a little-. Uh, Hajimemashite, Kanda-chan.

The way the air fell, stagnant, and the silence that dominated around us was sudden and severe, the aura emanating from the long haired men that stood in front of me was menacing to say the least. The other two exorcists kept quiet, as if withholding the laughter in them was now a matter of life or death.

-Quit it -Kanda warned me, to which I only replied with a teasing look.

The General quickly intervened between us.

-I take it you retrieved some innocence back in Aldeia da Mata Pequena?

-Oh, yeah. Here you go, a poor little tree had to die for me to recover it.

No more was said, guiding us out of the alleway and into an even older part of town where all the rundown taverns and inns were, the General took us to a small bar. We sat down at a table in the back corner of the desolate tavern ordering a couple beers and something to fill our bellies with before bed time. The older man took out a map from his backpack and spread it out across the wooden table, he marked down a couple sites on the outskirts of Porto to the south and to the east. We all made the effort to concentrate on the map attempting to escape from the awkward atmosphere I had created by teasing my fellow exorcist beyond relief a few hours ago.

-Alright, here's the plan -Tiedoll's raspy voice cut through the air-. We will head down across the Douro river and into the fisher town of Afurada, where I plan on meeting a secret contact that's working in cahoots with the Millenium Earl, he's of course our spy. Afterwards we will head to Avintes, according to my intel there have been a series of strange phenomena going on, reported by the townsfolk, inside the Chapel of Quinta de Porcas. Tonight we shall dine and rest, and tomorrow before sunrise we will begin our journey.

He happily concluded.

We drank our beers in silence, dined in an even more awkward silence and finally retreated back to our respective rooms to sleep the night away. I was feeling exhausted, even though I soaked my feet in cold water before bed they kept aching throughout the night keeping me in a sort of semi-conscious state until dawn. Embarrassment washed over me as I came to the realization that perhaps my earlier actions had rendered me friendless in Tiedoll's group, only I could have thought that teasing my fellow exorcist like that would be a good way to break the ice. God, the stupidity I was capable of sometimes. All night until morning came I obsessed over my earlier actions, on and on and on.

Upon a slight knock on my door I stood up from the bed getting my heavy tall boots back on, I quickly rinsed my face with some water left in a bucket near the restroom, and I looked at myself in the mirror, that nosebleed had stained my clothes. Finally, I headed out the door.

-Good morning -I mumbled groggily once I caught up to Tiedoll's group outside the tavern.

-Good morning -Marie answered politely. Meanwhile, Kanda didn't even react to my arrival.

-Alright, let's get going! -General Tiedoll led the way south.

The path to Afurada was mostly quiet but bearable as none of us really felt like talking so early in the morning, we went by foot taking advantage of the low temperatures outside before noon. Once the Sun fully came out, we paused a couple times by the side of the road to take some shelter in the shade before braving back onto the path ahead. Our final stop before reaching our destination was somewhere around a nice prairie overlooking a small and partially hidden by forest town. Everyone stopped walking, sitting down to tend to themselves. I looked around trying to figure out what was going on.

General Tiedoll took out a small wooden easel, set up some paper on it and began tracing an exact replica of the view before him. I was amazed at the ways his fast paced drawing quickly took shape into the grass, the trees,and even the cattle and the hills in the far back. He traced in silence, taking in the beauty of the scenery.

-What's going on? -I whispered as if not wanting to disturb his artistic process.

-Master Tiedoll is a talented artist, -Marie answered- he gets his inspiration from our journeys around the countryside.

-He's quite skilled, I see.

I watched him draw in a hypnotized state. Somehow everything around us had become so calm, so serene, as if being outside of time and space, in a heavenly state of mind.

-Do you draw, young exorcist? -the older man asked me.

-I've dabbled in some rough sketching but I'm not really talented.

-It's not talent, it's skill.

-Perhaps, but you can't deny some people are just not made for it. And I'm certainly one of them.

I stood closer to him taking in his technique for tracing out the tree branches, first in short lines and afterwards in thinner crooked ones. Time had completely stopped for a moment.

-I imagine that -he began talking again while tracing the outline of the horizon- for your innocence ability, you would need to have great creativity, am I wrong?

-Indeed, my ability is based on imagination so if I'm unable to think of something fast specifically made to kill the enemy then I will have lost long before I can begin the fight.

-And if you have a creative mind then you must be drawn to partake in the arts, whatever form that may be.

He had a point. Truth be told, I was somewhat experienced at drawing but my skills weren't good enough to call myself an artist and only shame was left whenever I attempted to paint anything at all. It was embarrassing to admit that I was such a defeatist. From a very young age, long before my innocence revealed itself to me, I'd spend long hours simply imagining a world of fantasies while staring out the window of my home. It was a habit to escape the all consuming loneliness I suffered from, I used my imagination to fill the emptiness in my heart and the boredom of my lonely everyday life. Lacking any friends to play with and my family consisting of only me and my hard working mother, I spent much of my time alone at home. Sometimes I'd venture outside and into the tall grass fields, making the forest my own little kingdom; picturing the tall ancient trees as homes to woodland creatures, collecting unique colored flowers and imitating the sounds of the birds nesting atop the tree canopy ーoh, how I miss those peaceful timesー. A world of imagination was all I had and all I ever needed. Thus, the day I found out I could weaponize it I grieved, for I did not want to use what was once my safe haven as a means of death, violence and bloodshed. War had already stained so many aspects of my life, the last thing I needed was for this one precious part of me to be corrupted too.

-I'd love for you to give me a small demonstration of what you can do, if you don't mind- the General continued.

-Of course, would you like me to do it now?

-Preferably.

''Alright then'', I closed my eyes, gathering up all my concentration on the prairie before me. Slowly I envisioned blue Hydrangeas sprouting from the ground up, the small green shrubs began growing taller and wider, soon covering the entirety of a once empty field with their sublime blue petal arrangements. Like a gossamer dream or an impressionist painting, the purplish blue perfectly contrasted the darker shadow greens of the grass, the tops glowing with the afternoon's golden sunlight. I could hear the muffled gasps from my fellow exorcists in the background, impressed by the striking sight in front of them. They were looking at a delightful daydream, subject to the tangibility of reality's elements; like how the wind swayed throughout the leaves of the bush taking along it those blue petals away and up the sky.

-Astonishing.

I opened my eyes still imagining the field of Hydrangeas. They were still there but were quickly fading as the image in my mind did so too. Not often could I see in real life what I pictured in my mind, since my concentration needed to be kept on the subject in order for it to exist, but I tried to see these ones for as long as they lived, basking in the beauty of this lavender dream.

-So these, uh, visions have an expiry time? -the General had come back from his reverie.

-Yes, sort of. They only last as much as I can picture them and their tangibility depends on how strongly I can envision them. That's why I usually require some distance from the enemy, and I tend to cover my ears and eyes in order to avoid any further distractions.

-So you'd do better in a team then. Companions that can watch your back.

Tiedoll's expression was pensive, he had taken a break from his artwork so as to gather information about my abilities and its contribution to his team.

-Now I see why Komui was so adamant to introduce you to my team. Perhaps, if we continue working together, you'll be able to truly polish that wonderful gift of yours.

-We'll be glad to have you on our team -Marie welcomed me, then with a melancholic tone he added-. It's too bad I can't really see these illusions, I'm sure they are lovely.

-Oh don't you worry, I can make things with sound too. Have you heard the sounds of the Tūī bird?

-I didn't even know that such a bird existed -he replied.

-Not all beauty is made to only be gazed at.

Closing my eyes once again and making sure to block out any outside sounds I remembered the fun little sounds of the New Zealander Tūī bird, something in between the sound of dragging a wooden chair across the floor and the sounds of a long hollow wooden instrument like the Lakota-style flute from the Native Americans or the Andean Quena, then a few ''pew pew's'' as best as I can describe those sounds. Picturing its black beak with a splash of yellow on top, twisted white feathers laying on top of its neck and green-purple-blue wings on its sides, the curious little bird came to life.

-What a beautiful looking bird -the General was elated.

-And its song is like nothing I've ever heard -added my blind fellow exorcist.

Having created these copies of my memories I felt at peace, maybe this was the team I was destined to be with. People that marveled at the sight of a field of flowers or the singing of a bird, warfare never crossing their minds. I blushed at all the compliments received by my fellow men.

-Your's is truly a gift from God.

They were so pleased by my abilities that I couldn't bring up the other side of the coin, the darker side that involved my wellbeing. I was afraid that if I told them just how harmful this power was for my body they'd try to keep me on the bench whenever a fight ensued, I didn't want to feel useless like I did alongside my teacher and fellow students back home. So I preferred to keep it a secret for a little while longer.

Not long after my little demonstration, we continued our journey towards Afurada. As we came closer to the town we saw the scenery progressively changing into one more befitting of a fishertown. The downtown area was constructed on the perimeter of the Douro River, with the farthest houses being erected on the cliffs parallel to the river. As with any fishing town, the surroundings had an unmistakable smell of salt and fish, boat bells rang in the distance and the port seemed lively. Workers in light clothing loaded the fishing boats with rope, nets and buckets under the unforgiving rays of the Sun, children played around these hard working fishers, stumbling into buckets full of fish like eels, boga and carps.

We stopped at a discrete shop on the second floor of a conspicuous building facing the river. General Tiedoll instructed us to wait quietly outside the shop while he contacted his spy fella that was supposedly working for the Millenium Earl. We sat down gazing peacefully at the blue waters of the Douro River.

-Utsukushi desu ne… -here I go again, I know. I'm insufferable.

Without even turning around to see, I could feel the angry gaze of my fellow exorcist. I suppressed a smile.

-I didn't know you spoke Japanese -Marie intervened-. Oh, that's right. Kanda is teaching you, right?

-I'm not teaching her jack shit, and she doesn't speak anything. She's just blurting out random words.

-Now, don't be mean. She's simply trying to learn.

-So, so -I agreed with Maire confidently- Mada mada nihongo ga jōzu janai ndesuga.

Marie clapped softly in amazement, but I felt as if Kanda wanted to eat me alive and so at this point I opted for just shutting up. I'd hoped he'd warm up to me little by little if he saw me truly making an effort to learn and speak the language, perhaps he'd even be amazed by how much I had learned all on my own. But for now I'd keep going with my original plan to get him to communicate with me in Japanese, that was the first step.

Somewhere around forty to forty five minutes went by before the General was back, we all got up and undusted our coats before going down the stairs and into another small business, empty at this unusually quiet time. The shopkeeper explained to us that at this hour of the day everyone returned home to eat and nap before going back to work once the Sun went down a little.

-It's quite efficient -I applauded.

-We apologize for keeping you here then -Tiedoll shrunk himself a little in his seat.

-Don't worry, -the lady shook her head- I'm glad to see some travelers around. You lot always bring some interesting stories with you.

-Then I wouldn't mind sharing some with you -the General sat down at the table.

I excused myself shortly after, I wanted to take the time to look around town and take in all the beauty of Afurada before we had to leave yet again in a few more hours.

As I walked around the small fishing town I noticed how very few stone constructions had been erected and that most homes were made out of wood and straw. People here lived a simple life of very few luxuries, their true way of showing off was to brag about how well taken care of their boats were. Out there on the shore there must have been at least a couple hundred of them floating peacefully to the rhythm of the river waves.

What surprised me the most was the amount of children around the port, some of them spent their time playing around but most seemed to be working alongside the fishermen repairing broken nets. Even the women were hard at work, their once soft skins now hardened by a lifetime of labor under the harsh Sun; everyone was busy with something, some untangling the fishing nets and others cleaning the algae off the boats; the strongest ones carried the heavier buckets of fish, meanwhile the women carried baskets full of shellfish. Most of the fish sold was done so at the city of Porto, transported by groups of men and women in carriages pulled by livestock, and mostly sold by the women at the markets.

Paying attention to the local gossip I came to know a little more about this small town. Stricken by poverty, and worsened by an increasing influx of orphaned children and widowed women product of the constant shipwrecks near shore, the town had seen better days.

It was hard for the locals to have access to better materials to build their homes due to their earnings fluctuation. What fed them and their families that day was only what they could fish, and often more than not they had little money to spare for anything else. This lifestyle proved too hard on some of these people and their only comfort was attending church in their free time; lately though, there had been word of a strange religious cult gathering on church grounds in the afterhours of night. Most likely gossip, I presume.

I figured I should head back soon so we could carry on with our long journey ahead. On my way back, I saw some men getting into a big boat ready to sail towards the sea armed with paddles and fishing nets, the children left on shore helped with the loosening of the ropes while the older ones helped push the boat into deeper waters.

As I walked back to the building facing the shore, I noticed it truly stood out among the few other buildings that'd been constructed for administrative and governmental purposes. This town surely had lots of potential but, in order to be able to truly thrive they first needed to have other incomes besides fishing, something far more stable and a better economic system overall.

-Enjoyed your stroll around town? -Marie inquired.

-Quite much, how can you say you've traveled around the world if you don't even get to know the locals and their traditions?

-You carry much wisdom for such a young age.

-Oh, General Tiedoll, I didn't mean to take so long out there. I apologize.

-No at all! You're just in time, we just finished eating. Isn't that right, Yu?

He didn't reply.

Does this man hate absolutely everyone?

We began walking east towards Vilar de Andorinho, it'd be long before we could make it to the chapel so we hurried our pace to reach the next town before sundown. These men and their long legs could easily cover great lengths while I could barely catch up to them, I struggled to walk at their pace even if my physical condition was pretty decent. I wasn't too strong physically but I could easily walk for hours without losing my breath.

Marie took notice of my struggles, slowing down his pace to meet me at mine.

-So, how does your ability work exactly? Can you make visible, audible and tangible things?

-I guess so. It's kind of like an exact replica of something but with a limited lifespan. The better I study it, the more detailed it is. For example, I can materialize a butterfly but if I don't know the arrangement of its insides then, if you were to rip it apart, it'd be an empty shell of a butterfly. Thus, for more intricate things I need to prepare myself by thoroughly studying the object I'm attempting to mimic.

-Can you make people? -He reformulated his question- I mean, could you make a copy of one of us, for example?

-Well, it'd be a lot more difficult than smaller simpler things, but perhaps I could make a copy of how you look, just not quite get ''its'' personality or even its voice and mannerisms right.

-Good thing I'm blind then, you cannot fool me with just an image -he joked.

I laughed half-heartedly unsure if it was okay for me to laugh at his blind joke.

-It's alright -it seemed like he had read my mind- it's been a while since I went blind. I've learnt to accept it.

-I thought perhaps you'd been born blind.

He simply smiled.

-As I made peace with my blindness, I began to develop an especially sensitive hearing which in turn aids me in my fight against the akuma. And with these headphones, I can hear even the faintest of things like the beating of your heart and I can tell a lot from the way it's beating.

We continued our way through the wilderness, the weather was nice and the Sun had lost its strength for the remainder of the day making our travels a lot easier. I watched from afar as the General and Kanda chatted unintelligibly to my ears. Marie could most likely hear them perfectly and perhaps they had yet to get accustomed to the newest member of their team, assuming I could also hear what they were saying.

-The General is saying that his contact warned him of a man with markings on his forehead accompanied by a short young girl walking around the eastern borders of Vila Nova de Gaia. According to him, they were Noah, most likely looking for a ''strong enough to cause a great disturbance'' kind of innocence somewhere around there.

-Noah? -I had a vague idea of who the Noah were, yet I wasn't really up to date with all the information.

-The Noah helped the Millenium Earl fight the first users of innocence, seven thousand years ago. They're able to reincarnate over and over again even after they're killed, in a new human body. They regain their memories from their former bodies before they fully embrace their true identities. This marked man and the young girl are most likely two of the thirteen Noah that exist in this world. We already have information about the young girl, seeing as she came into contact with Allen Walker some time ago.

-Allen Walker?

-He's a dear friend of Yu's, and a fellow exorcist. I'm surprised you haven't met him yet.

I shrugged my shoulders signaling ignorance. Kanda had friends? I shrugged even harder.

-In any case, the man has urged the General to be careful. These Noah are intimidatingly powerful, I would know.

-What do you mean?

-We lost our friend and teammate, Daisya Barry, to one of them.

-I'm so sorry.

Truly, being an exorcist came packaged with death, grief, loss and suffering. So much would be lost in this path, breaking our spirits bit by bit while we lie to ourselves pretending to be strong enough to continue on enduring this arduous battle. I feared for my friends' life as much as I feared for my own.

-Say… Have you and Kanda been friends for long?

-I suppose so, we saved each other mutually once a long time ago -seeing as he didn't add anything further I decided not to press the issue anymore. It wouldn't be well perceived asking too many personal questions.

The General stopped us in our tracks, he argued it'd be better to stop at Andorinho for now and resume our journey the next morning. This I thanked my lucky stars for, the exhaustion was taking over my body and soon my feet would give up and I'd probably collapse mid way toward our final destination. Derailing a little from the road we went in the direction of the Andorinho vicinity, there, a few discrete white houses stood out from within the tall vegetation, there was also a parish nearby where we could perhaps get some rest until morning. It was most definitely not as comfortable as an inn, but it'd be better than sleeping on the side of the road.

Thankfully, an acquaintance of the General received us in her little white house, she fed us warm soup and heated some water for us to wash ourselves before bed. Marie, Kanda and I slept in one room, while the General slept on the couch in the living room and his acquaintance in her room.

-Do you guys think the General is actually sleeping on the couch? Or do you think perhaps he's sharing a bed with his lady friend? -my voice cut through the nocturnal silence.

-It's impolite to meddle into other people's private life -Kanda cut me off.

-Well, it's impolite to roll your eyes at me everytime I speak, yet you still do it, don't you? -I snapped back, sick of his attitude.

-Perhaps we should take this time to sleep instead of bickering -Marie intervened.

-Maybe if the curious one over there would just shut up, we could get to it faster -Kanda most definitely was pushing my buttons.

Annoyed, I closed my eyes hoping tomorrow would come soon. I was unsure whether my hot-headed attitude was a product of the last few day's worth of physical exertion or if it was me beginning to get tired of my fellow exorcist's constant bouts of anger. He was unnecessarily mean, always wearing an angry face, he was disrespectful even to his elders and constantly disagreed with everything I said. I knew so far I hadn't made the best impression of myself but at least I tried to keep a harmonious environment around the two of us.

Although Marie had begun to open up with me and had been nothing but kind, I hadn't felt like I truly clicked with him either yet. Still, not everyone can be the bestest of friends so I should be grateful to at least have someone to talk to without it turning into a fight.

The next morning I woke up to the feeling of a chicken pecking at my shoulder, slowly I opened an eye coming face to face with a curious little auburn hen. Its eyes stared attentively at me trying to figure out who this human was sleeping on its owner's floors. I smiled at it and attempted to pet it only for it to run away towards the kitchen. I like chickens, they're curious little things, simple and smelly but somehow comforting to look at.

Finally, I got up from the improvised bed on the wooden floor and before leaving the room I neatly folded the bedsheets, placing them on the chair in the corner of the room. Kanda and Marie's beds were already made, so I assumed they were probably having breakfast alongside General Tiedoll and his acquaintance. I made my way to the kitchen and there they were, my fellow members of the Order in long dark coats and military boots, eating eggs on bread next to a small and delicate woman dressed in layers of light colored clothing and a floral apron.

-Woah, General, -I saluted- quite the bed hair you've got this lovely morning.

The General laughed at my remark attempting to subdue his rowdy morning hair. The homeowner led me to a chair and served me some eggs and freshly made bread, she filled my glass with milk and tenderly patted me on the back before going back to her seat.

-So, will you be leaving after breakfast? -the lady asked.

-I'm afraid so, we're on a tight schedule.

-What a shame, I could have made you a good warm meal before you left had I had more time to cook.

-None of that, my lady, you've already done much more than needed for us. To that, we're grateful -concluded the General, placing a hand on his chest as a sign of being absolutely truthful.

Call me crazy, but the chemistry between those two was palpable. There was no way those guys hadn't had some kind of fling at some point in their acquaintanceship, yet, I was afraid to make any further stupid comments, so I simply watched in silence as they went back and forth with the compliments and the invitations to stay for dinner and to come back again soon.

I cannot blame that lady. General Tiedoll was a really kind man, artistic, sensitive, wise, serene, strong, and not bad looking for a man his age. I only hoped I could one day find a man like that. Someone that appreciates the simplicity of things, the silence in nature, the art in the everyday things. A man that doesn't have war as the only priority in his head. Someone that evokes calmness within a sea of chaos.

Losing track of space and time, I stared off into space pondering upon my future romantic prospects.

-Well, we must go now -the General slapped his hands on his knees before getting up- we are so very thankful for your hospitality.

-Don't be a stranger, alright? Come back to visit soon.

Yeah. There definitely was something going on there. Perhaps my teammates were too blind to see it but I could even smell it in the air. Such an adorable pair.

We continued on our way towards the chapel, soon we'd be entering Avintes getting closer to our destination. Yet another town had been erected in the vicinity, this one less lively than Afurada or Aldeia da Mata Pequena, and it seemed as if the people here were in hiding. Maybe it was something about the air or maybe it was the unusually cloudy morning but something felt off. We walked around the town trying to be as inconspicuous as four people in dark capes could be, hurrying up to make our way out of there and into the safety of the chapel.

I was definitely not the only one on edge, I turned to look at Marie walking next to me. He too had a frown on his face, muffling the sounds of his footsteps and anxiously twirling his fingers around the sleeve of his cape, even the General was strangely quiet. That's how we all knew something was terribly wrong.

Finally, we made it to the Capela da Quinta de Porcas, standing high up on the hill surrounded by green forest.

-Alright, -General Tiedoll began talking- according to this report it looks like there have been strange sounds coming out of the idols inside the chapel. One witness reported that the eyes of one of the idols followed her around the room; a mother brought her toddler son to the chapel and the poor child began crying uncontrollably, begging to be let out of there.

-Strange that a case of hidden innocence would be causing kids to cry -Kanda argued.

-True. The locals report feeling an ''evil'' atmosphere around the chapel, so it wouldn't make sense that the innocence was doing so if it wasn't to ward off possible enemies.

We took our time to search around the premises, carefully observing the marble idols while looking for any sign of abnormalities. However, the chapel's atmosphere felt pretty normal to me, not really threatening or scary like the locals reported, the suffocating aura just wasn't there anymore.

-I don't know, General. I don't sense anything.

-Perhaps it has stopped emitting that threatening aura because it knows we're not trying to harm it -the General was right, it could be that the innocence could perceive that we meant no harm to it, thus ceasing to emit a so-called ''evil'' aura to ward others off-. Maybe we should search on the outside too.

Kanda and I walked outside while Marie and General Tiedoll remained on the inside of the chapel furthering their search. We walked around the small chapel's surroundings looking around in the bushes, behind the fences and in between the water stained arches.

-So, kono ''innocence'' ni wa ishki ga aru no deshou ka? -I asked in a natural tone.

-Ma, aru imi.

The tall exorcist turned to look at me, his face was a little flushed over the cheeks but his eyes expressed irritation over having fallen into my trap.

-Mou yamete kure -he complained.

-Onegai -I put my palms together in front of my face-. Nihongo o oshiete kudasai.

-Okotowari shimasu.

Quickly after, he turned his back to me and continued searching around for any signs of innocence or its manifestations. I was secretly pleased he had humored me long enough to at least answer me in Japanese, even if it had been to refuse to teach me. Whatever, I was about to run out of pre-made phrases in Japanese I'd written in a small handbook before leaving Homebase, anyway. I knew if I pushed too hard he'd close off completely, so I took this as a tiny battle won.

-How come you don't know the basics of innocence? You're an exorcist.

-Huh? -him keeping the conversation going surprised me, so I hadn't heard clearly what he said.

-The basics of innocence, the holy war, the Black Order, the Noah… you seem to be completely oblivious to all this.

-Well, I only just started being an exorcist a few months ago so I haven't really had a chance to learn all about it. Plus, you know how vague mister Komui's explanations are.

His lips turned into a short-lived smile quickly disappearing just as it came to life. It was true, Komui Lee was an expert at giving the most half-assed explanations ever. He barely tried to solve any questions and even feigned ignorance whenever he felt too lazy to give a proper answer. No wonder his fellow coworkers gave him shit all the time.

-Those flowers you made the other day…-he began saying- they are Hydrangeas, right?

-You know your flowers -I applauded.

-Hana, -he paused- means flower.

His words took me by surprise, he was teaching me out of his own accord. I just stood there, speechless.

-You're lucky, you know? That you can make beautiful things like that with your innocence.

-I prefer to do so, but you can't kill akuma with pretty pretty sunflowers.

-Would you rather have a sword like mine?

-I'd prefer the ability to bomb the crap out of every one of them. Staining the beauty of this power with war and death doesn't seem right.

-Kenmei ni itta.

We continued searching around, this time with a much lighter atmosphere around us. That might've been the first icebreak between us, perhaps from now on our relationship would be a lot less strained and even improve a little. Plus, I'm quite forgiving so there wouldn't be any hard feelings between us.

There was a sudden shift in the air. Coming from somewhere within the thickness of the forest, I watched as a pair of small feet emerged from the bushes. My eyes traveled upwards coming across the petite figure of a young girl. Everything about her made her stand out as a foreigner. The way she dressed was quite different from other local girls her age, while women around here usually dressed in long flowy skirts and baggy blouses layered on top of long sleeved thicker ones, and covered their hair and shoulders with a long woven scarf —most likely to protect themselves from the unforgiving Sun—, this young one in front of us was dressed in a smart black suit that matched her grayish dark skin color with a skirt too short to be considered proper. Her eyes were of a piercing yellow, and above thin eyebrows a set of vertical scars stood out from her forehead, Stigmata.

Although she looked harmless, simply a lost child, something about her seemed off. Her sweet innocent eyes had a piercing coldness in them contrasting the sweet smile on her face. An evil intent emanated from her body seeping into the back of my neck, imprisoning me in an anxious state of hyper awareness. It was clear she hadn't just stumbled upon this chapel while venturing into the woods, this girl had come here with a clear purpose.

I didn't dare speak up. Something in me warned me against it, a strange sort of creeping paralysis prevented me from making any sudden moves. I was… scared.

Then, right behind her, a young man materialized from within the bushes as well. Tall, dark and handsome but threatening, just like the girl, sporting the same strange forehead stigmata scars. He too dressed in formal attire, unfit for a random afternoon stroll around a chapel that was erected atop a hill, somewhere in the middle of the forest.

-Ugokanaide -Kanda warned me in a whisper so low even I struggled to hear him- yoku kittekure.

-Kono otoko… -I knew what he was about to say but my Japanese vocabulary fell short- abunai, ne?

Even with my beginner level Japanese, I understood by the tone of his voice the warning he was giving me about how that man in front of me was truly dangerous. We stood defensively in silence while waiting for them to make a move. Mentally we were already prepared for this imminent fight, but they looked at us with a bored and nonchalant expression, as if we weren't entertaining enough for their attention.

-Oh, come on -the man spoke using his hands to express his teasing behavior-. It's no fun if you guys speak in another language.

-Yeah, I want in on the fun -the little girl agreed, a twisted smile on her small framed face.

Neither of us answered.

-Now, I truly wish I didn't have to resort to this. But you see, you're in our way. And we have business in that church right behind you.

The threatening aura of the tall young man became denser, he stepped closer in our direction while his companion took a couple of steps back. They were preparing to attack!

-Atashi no mae ni, tatte kudasai! -I yelled at my partner as I crouched to the ground while covering my ears.

He quickly stood in front of me as a first line of defense. I was too afraid to close my eyes in order to concentrate on my ability, so I tried focusing my gaze on the floor in a way that it functioned like a dark background to visualize my illusions. The ground began to break, at first it was barely noticeable but within a few seconds the cracks on the floor were now a couple inches wide. From these wide cracks sharp razor wire-like bindweeds crept out, slashing everything on their path, all the way from the tops of the bushes around us to even a couple hairs on the female Noah's head.

-Well well, -the girl seemed pleasantly surprised, brushing her chopped hair back- it looks like you and I are quite alike. Makers of dreams. We're going to have so much fun together.

-I guess I'll leave her to you, Road. -The young man shrugged, vanishing from the site. But, not having any of it, Kanda launched his Netherworld insects and sent them chasing after the Noah man.

The forest surrounding us disappeared unexpectedly and instead a limitless void took its place; we were immersed in some sort of oppressive darkness, a place absent of color yet somehow translucent, for I could easily look over to my partner without being separated by opaque shadows. Strangely enough, there was a solid floor underneath us, that being the only thing that kept us from falling into the nothingness. It was made up of black and white squares like a checkers board, and on it stood some old Mahogany dressers and even a violet sofa. She decorated the abysmal room with big plush bears and other toys typical of a Victorian child. To the naked eye it could've looked like the girl's bedroom. Yet, taking into account the surrounding darkness, the atmosphere in this room gave me the absolute creeps. The toys sitting atop the dresser had an uncanny look to them, somewhere between innocent and a bit too realistic to just be children's toys.

And right I was. Her toys came to life charging at us without losing their creepy smiles. Not losing a single second, my razor wire bindweeds violently cut through them all. Yet, this wouldn't suffice, I had to continue attacking before she could act again.

Kanda and I quickly zigzagged throughout the checkered floor, dodging our assailants' attacks. I momentarily closed my eyes, needing my mind to fully concentrate in the direction the creeping plants were to take. At an impossibly fast speed they launched at the so-called Road girl but she effortlessly avoided impact on several occasions without ever losing her unsettling smile. We danced in this battle for a little longer while she too used her creations to attempt us harm. However, we matched each other in speed and strength; none was better than the other, perfectly neutralizing each other.

Growing tired of this pace, she tripled the amount of creatures present leaving us completely surrounded by these plush monsters.

-We need to take care of this soon -Kanda was getting tired, he too had been fighting against these awful beings while simultaneously having to protect me from their grasp.

-I know, I know -meanwhile, I was growing desperate- I just need a second to think.

Think. Think.

I needed her to lose focus, to stop bringing to life these hellish creatures. She was strong, quick-witted, relentless and sure of herself but she was still human. She was still able to feel joy, anger, and even fear. How do you scare a little girl like her? If she was human, then she could surely still feel a natural rejection towards unpleasant sensations, like the smell of rotten food or the tingling of an insect's feet on your skin. If this was true then I needed to play against the human's natural advantage, the nervous system. The thing that helps us identify threats, harmful substances, injuries and illness, that which gives us input about the outside world, our second pair of eyes.

Overwhelm the nervous system.

Something so big, so fast and so chaotic that you cannot make sense of it. Now I knew what my winning card would be. I closed my eyes for only a fraction of a second, but it was enough time to perfectly picture an explosion of cockroaches: hairy pointy legs, long twiching antennas all over your body, the sound of their chitinous wings rubbing against each other. Everything in that dark gloomy looking room was covered in them, it came out of the stuffed bears' mouths, from underneath her clothes, crawling out of the cracks on the floor.

And then, the final touch.

My bindweeds began to duplicate and then triplicate, all until the room was covered in a mass of green and white. For a few moments they stood still, waiting for my command, before spreading out and perfectly piercing through every single one of the roaches crawling around us unaware of their fatal fate.

I could hear her screams somewhere in between the commotion, I too wanted to scream as the insects' bits and juices poured all over me. It was the most disgusting sensation I had ever experienced; the smell, the sight and the specific feeling of their tiny little prickly legs getting caught in my hair was enough for me to want to erase this illusion immediately but if someone was to break, it wouldn't be me.

Taking advantage of the overwhelming distraction, I envisioned more bindweed creeping through the ground's cracks and stealthily wrapping itself over Road's ankles. She let out a blood curdling scream as the sharp weeds slashed her skin. She tried breaking out of it but the more she did the faster the vine crept up her legs and over her body. Her fingers were now a bloody mess and her eyes expressed a feral fear as she desperately attempted to free herself while shouting her friend's name over and over again.

-Tykki -she called out to her partner in a choked raspy voice-. Help! Help!

This was defeat.

He soon materialized within the mess of vines holding her captive, he too seemed to be tired out from the fight he had most likely ensued with the General and Marie, inside the chapel. His eyes looked at us, angered by the ruthlessness of our actions, before freeing the little one and quickly vanishing from the area.

Once they were gone, I felt my knees weaken, casting me onto the ground below me. Road's dream space fading away.

-Oh! -I gasped tiredly. My nose was bleeding again, this time much heavier than before, coming out of both my nostrils. The veins in my hands were swollen, bulging out under my skin, my heart was racing and I felt the pressure in my head pushing against my eyeballs.

Victim to the crushing pain, I hunched over my knees losing myself to the sudden feeling of exhaustion overcoming my body; a body pale and covered in cold sweat.

-Hey, -my fellow exorcist noticed my sudden collapse- what's with you?

His eyes widened when he came face to face with mine. The lower portion of my face was now covered in blood, my forehead drenched in sweat and the corners of my eyes tearing up. In my confusion I attempted to wipe the excess blood from my face only to realize I was bleeding too much too fast. My eyes rolled back as I began to lose conscience. The last words I heard were coming from the General.

-We got the innocence, let's get out of here before they return…

Then, everything around me went dark.

When I finally awoke, birds were chirping somewhere nearby.

I opened my eyes to the sight of an unfamiliar room. A tall white ceiling, faded periwinkle-colored walls, and an open window with sheer white curtains covering the sides letting the cool air in. I raised my head slightly to look around the room, no one was in sight and in my disoriented mind I thought for a second that I was back home. Back in my hometown, back in my bed, back with my mom. Perhaps I had overslept and, if I were to get up from the bed now and walk out that door, I'd find my mother in the kitchen preparing some porridge for the both of us.

I closed my eyes again resting my head against the soft pillow underneath. I had definitely overdone it during my fight with the Noah, coming dangerously close to extensive brain damage. Goodbye cognitive abilities.

-She's not awake yet? -a voice behind the door brought me out of my musings- We have to get back to the Order as soon as possible.

-Even if she wakes now, there's no guarantee she'll even be able to keep up with us. Did you see the state she was in?

Whoever those voices belonged to, they began to fade into the background. I was losing consciousness again, my extremities and my face began tingling and the color of my skin paled into a yellowish tone.

I came back to myself sometime around midnight. Of which day? I'm not sure. But when I opened my eyes, Kanda was asleep sitting on a chair in the corner of the room with his arms crossed at chest length, standing watch no doubt. Painfully, I sat up failing to suppress an aching groan coming deep within my throat. My body felt sore, although I wasn't really sure if it was the result of the recent battle or if it was due to being in bedrest for so long. Kanda opened his eyes immediately looking at me with what I can only guess would be his version of concern.

-You should get back to sleep, we're leaving tomorrow morning.

-And the General? And Marie? -I asked in a groggy voice.

-They left before us, the General had to attend to an urgent matter.

-Mmm, I understand.

We sat in silence for a minute. I raised my knees up to my chest, surrounding them in a hug and resting my head on them.

-Why didn't you leave with them? -I asked softly, not wanting to sound ungrateful-. I could've made my way back to Homebase on my own.

He kept quiet, pensive.

-I saw you bleeding out. I could've left you for dead, I should have. You weren't strong enough to survive on your own and that is your own responsibility, -was he blaming me?- but, you fought bravely to protect your peers and I respect that enough not to leave you behind. -It must've been hard for him to admit that. His gaze shifted toward me, looking me dead in the eye. I averted mine staring off into the distance-. There's something you haven't told General Tiedoll, probably not even to Komui, right? This power of yours…it comes at a great price, does it not?

My body froze in place, feeling tense, I clenched my jaw.

-I guess there's no point in trying to hide it now. You're not wrong, the more complex the visions I bring to life, the more it takes a toll on my body. More specifically, my brain -I confessed.

-You could die? -he didn't seem particularly worried about such a possibility.

-I guess so. The worst it's ever gotten was once when I completely changed the scenery where I was. It was during practice with my former teacher. I materialized an entire forest, the dry leaves on the ground, the sound of the wind passing through the treetops, and even the tiny little critters that crawl inside the soil. It took weeks of memorization, and a great amount of concentration power to keep the entire thing tangible for a total of 40 seconds.

«Then, just like the other day, my nose began to bleed and so did my ears. There was this intense ringing in my head that drove me insane. I had a splitting headache, my mouth went numb, it was so bad I ended up with temporary paralysis on half my face. -I shook my head, unable to continue telling the story-. That time in my life was one of the scariest moments I'd ever experienced. I truly thought I'd never be able to recover.

-I've heard of parasitic-style innocence deforming the bodies of exorcists, but never of actually killing its host.

-It's an honorable way to die. I guess it's really no different than other exorcists dying at the hands of their enemies, after all, we're all expendable soldiers in this holy war. Truth be told, my life became expendable the moment this innocence attached itself to my body.

-I suppose you're smarter than I thought, at least you know that death as an exorcist is unavoidable. But you're mistaken, what's honorable is to face death so closely and still override the fear of dying, to stand up and fight. To survive. Don't give the Order the satisfaction of being a mindless soldier, of dying in their name.

His eyes had a rageful fire in them, a hatred deeply ingrained into the deepest layers of his soul. What could've made him despise the Black Order so much? And why was he still a member of it if he didn't like this organization? He could still be a servant of God against the Millenium Earl on his own, right? Right?

I analyzed his face as my head went through these thoughts; he looked the same as always but his brows were slightly furrowed, his gaze had darkened, his mouth tensely shut. I wanted to ask so many questions, but a strange heaviness sat on my chest choking the words inside my lungs.

-Get back to sleep -he concluded.

-Aren't you going to get some sleep?

-I was, right before you got all chatty with me -I wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

-I meant on a bed. A proper rest in a comfortable bed and not on a cold hard chair, you dumbass.

-I'm good where I am -he cut me off.

I returned to my former position, laying on the bed but turning to my side this time, giving my back to the angry exorcist keeping vigil on my sleep.

-Whatever, your loss. This bed is to die for.

-Then die already -I heard him mutter under his breath.

Morning came along with its warm rays of sunshine, peering shyly through the sheer curtains and into the quiet dark room. I woke up before my exorcist partner, who slept soundly in his chair just the same as last night. Quietly and trying my best not to disturb my partner's sleep, I tiptoed out the door searching for a place to wash my face and brush my teeth.

Once outside the room, I briskly inspected my surroundings. Before me a long corridor stretched from side to side, identical doors stood closed every few feet parallel to the wall in front of them. Although eerie quiet, the soft decor soothed my feelings of unknown unsafety. So far I hadn't seen anyone aside from my exorcist partner, thus I ventured out along the hallway hoping to run into someone, anyone at this point; wishing to come across any possible signs of life.

The long corridor led me to a wooden staircase, the only way forward now was down these stairs, so I cautiously went down the steps looking around my surroundings. What was this place? Where was everybody? Intimidated by the unsettling silence I began peeking inside some of the closed rooms feeling a little scared that I'd violate someone's privacy. Still, no one was to be found. After some further exploration, I figured that perhaps this was someone's summer estate and not some kind of fancy inn. The walls were decorated with expensive paintings, the curtains dressing the tall windows had intricate golden patterns sewn on their fabric, and the furniture in the house was well taken care of, burnished and undusted; but the estate itself lacked a home's personal belongings, that which shows that people have been living there.

Perhaps we were staying here as a benevolent favor to the General by one of his many acquaintances and now I was overstaying my welcome by invading their privacy and peering into their closed doors, venturing into their private rooms as if it was my own home. I shook my head slightly ashamed of myself.

-Need help?

-Gyah! -my soul left my body along with that scream. Kanda was standing behind me, expressionless-. What is wrong with you?!

-What is wrong with YOU? 'The hell are you wandering around carelessly after almost bleeding out a couple nights ago?

He had a point. I hadn't really taken a moment to analyze how I was feeling, although I guess if I hadn't even remembered to do so it must've meant I was doing just fine. Nothing hurt or felt sore, my head was feeling just fine and in general I wasn't feeling any different than my day to day self.

-I'm just looking for a place to clean myself up a little before we leave.

-The door next to the room you were sleeping in -he pointed upstairs- has everything you need.

Well this is embarrassing.

All this wandering around had been absolutely useless, I could've just begun by opening the damn doors upstairs instead of breaking into the ones downstairs causing all this ruckus.

I made my way back upstairs and towards the room I'd been sleeping in the past few nights, indeed the door to the left of mine had a beautifully decorated bathroom behind it. A big bathtub occupied most of it, while the toilet and the vanity took up only about a quarter of the room. I cleansed my body from my head to my toes, carefully wiping the old dried blood from under my fingernails and removing the crusted parts from the inside of my nose, it hurt everytime i pulled one out as my nose hairs came out along with them. The water in the basin was stained red, a painful reminder of what could've been the last moments of my life. I needed to be more careful, I needed to train harder to be better, to become more efficient, to spend the least amount of mental energy and bring to life more powerful things. My battles needed to be quicker, short-lived but deadlier. And I also needed to become physically stronger in order to not rely solely on my dangerous ability or the protection of others.

Once I was done cleaning up, I entered back into the room searching for my partner and my coat but finding only one thing, the long dark thing. And no, I'm not referring to Kanda.

I continued my search around the corridor and into some of the rooms, mostly equipped with beds and nightstands. Inside one of the bedrooms an open window had been letting all the outside dust to come in, coating all the room's furniture in a fine layer of dirt. Sighing, I walked over to the window in order to close it shut, but not before peering my head to the outside and into the front of the estate. Down there, watching the snapdragon flowers swaying in the wind, stood the sworded exorcist. It was rare seeing him with such a serene expression, he seemed to be at peace enjoying the quiet calm of the estate's enrapturing gardens. Whoever had planted these flowers must've been a master of greenery; for what beautiful red, purple and azure petals these flowers bloomed into. Watching him like that, I myself was overcomed by a sensation of peaceful bliss.

After closing the room's window and exiting the estate, I walked up to my fellow exorcist lamenting my necessary interruption into his zen-like aura.

-Ikkou ka?

-Mm -he kept on looking at the tall flowers-. Osoku natte.

We prepared to make our way back to the Order. First, Kanda locked the place up while I gathered our things together, though neither of us had much to carry along the journey, just a suitcase each. We were light packers, that much we had in common.

The first few miles we walked in silence, both immersed in our own thoughts, but after a while, the silence began to feel oppressing just like the noon's radiating Sun suffocating us in its nasty heat.

-So, what was that place we were staying at?

-What? No Japanese this time? -he mocked me.

-Hmm, dare no kono mansion ka?

-Are wa Gensei no zaisanda.

-Tiedoll's? Really? -I couldn't help but be surprised- Is he mmm… kanemochi?

-Kanemochi? -he looked at me amused.

-Don't laugh, -I smiled- your language is hard!

He seemed to be in a better mood than his normal self, he was humoring me and even having the patience to correct my abundant mistakes while I butchered his native language.

We continued on our journey with a few more chats composed of a combination of English and Japanese, nothing too important and much less personal than our other talks but enough to soften those sharp corners around our relationship. Once we reached Vila Nova de Gaia, we took the train back to the nearest port that could take us back home. By the end of that day I was exhausted, my back covered in sweat and my feet aching once again from wearing those heavy leather boots with steel tips and soles. Smart move that was, to buy those damned heavy boots that keep all the day's heat inside them, setting the temperature around my feet at a sensible 95F (35C).

The tall dark tower, the European branch of the Black Order, welcomed us in the middle of the night. I've never liked this place, its circular design all the same in every level felt befitting of an asylum or a prisoner's tower, not a place to call home. Not only was it ugly, but also dark and gloomy, suffocating and disorienting. The curved hallways made it so that it was hard to see the people coming from or to, easy for a sneak attack to happen or something.

I preferred nice, well-lit places, a bunch of sunlight coming into every single room, big windows so the air could pass through and tall ceilings to give off that sensation of a bigger room. I liked gardens or at least some plants to soften the area's atmosphere, light wooden floors, neutral or soft colors to decorate the walls, and some artwork depicting prairies, lakes or forests. Something more akin to the estate we had just left, and not whatever this brutalist-style tower was.

By the time we reached the dormitory area, we were both simply too exhausted, unable to keep staring at each other's faces, and ready to jump into the shower and then into our beds.

-Oyasumi, Kanda -I waved goodbye sleeplyly.

-It'll be nice to sleep on a bed, for once -he joked.

-Your fault and only yours. There was plenty of space in that bed, and I wouldn't have minded sharing it with you.

His face turned several shades of pink ーI didn't notice it at the time but far later once I was in bed giving thought to the day's eventsー, he was speechless. I never thought he'd be the kind to blush at a dumb joke, but maybe I'd caught him off guard. Afterall, we were both exhausted after this road trip around Portugal, all the fighting both between us and against Road and Tykki had taken down our walls.

It was nice coming back home, opening my room's door only to be welcomed by mountains of books ready to fall on me were I to even lightly brush against them. I was an avid reader, if you couldn't tell, books were my passion. They were a place where I could find answers to questions someone had asked long ago, I could find a friend or a shoulder to cry on, sometimes I'd find out that someone else had already put into words the feelings I couldn't quite identify. They had been the cure to my loneliness, the chats I never had, the adventures I could only dream of. They had been my teachers to the outside world, because of them I could materialize things I had never even seen in real life down to the bone. Anatomy, history, geography, romance, mystery or horror novels, world encyclopedias; you name it.

I would've loved to take any book from those piles and read until I fell asleep, however, this night I was just too tired to even try to read the title. Tomorrow would come in a blink of an eye and I had plans to make the best out of it.

Right around when the Sun came up I got up from bed, had some light breakfast in the dining hall and finished off with a nice cup of boiling-hot coffee. Plans for today consisted of working on my innocence skills. My aim was to come up with a way to make better use of my materialization abilities without running myself dry; in order to find a balance in my energy expenditure I needed something simple yet efficient.

I figured that I could begin by visiting the Science Division's vast collection of books and maybe there I'd find some inspiration or at least some clues about the best way to keep my brain from being burnt to a piece of coal after every battle.

Rather soon into my journey I stumbled upon the large figure of General Tiedoll, he was absently looking out the hall's window, unaware of my presence.

-Ah, General Tiedoll, good morning.

-Good morning, -he turned to me- I see you're back from Avintes.

-Yeah, we arrived here last night.

-I must apologize for having left you behind given your state, but I was called to attend an urgent matter here at homebase -the General rubbed the back of his hands, apologetic-. I take it you've fully recovered?

-I'm alright now, I'm sorry for troubling you.

-Troubling, not so much dear. But you did give us quite a big scare -his bushy eyebrows raised over his glasses' frame-. And I must ask, what happened back there?

I hesitated to answer. On one side, I was afraid of being found out but, on the other it didn't feel right to play dumb. The General was a compassionate, reliable and wise man and lying to him felt like a crime, like some sort of treason towards his kindness. Damnit, now I was taking too long to answer. If he hadn't suspected anything before, now he was definitely beginning to.

-I'm not usually this flimsy- I blurted out-. I mean, I'm not sure why it happened. While it's true that after overusing my innocence I can get headaches or nosebleeds, I don't usually just pass out like that.

-Well, I'd hardly call it ''just passing out'', but I understand what you're trying to say.

-What do you mean?

-What do I mean by what?

-I just fainted for a bit, no?

-You don't remember? -He gasped, taken aback-. You were bleeding out, it wasn't just a fleeting nosebleed or a fainting spell. You fell unconscious to the ground, blood soaking your clothes, it was all over your face and on your hands. It would've been a matter of seconds before you bled to death.

The General's words echoed in my head. I suddenly felt nauseated, a bitter taste present in my mouth. I could have died?

-Had it not been for Yu's regenerative blood, I doubt we could have been of any help, really.

-Kanda's regenerative blood?

-It's an ability intrinsic to the Chan family that allows him to heal faster and better than any other regular human being. Thus, his blood can incidentally heal other's wounds and ailments, like yours.

-That sounds quite unlike him, to heal others.

-You might be right, he can be selfish and mean at times, -he laughed- but ultimately he's a good-hearted boy.

I guess he could be quite fine from time to time but he didn't really strike me as the kind to offer his hand to heal a fallen companion. At best, I think he'd be the kind to show you mercy by immediately killing you off instead of letting you agonize for hours. Nevertheless, I was still grateful to him.

Suddenly, a lightbulb lit up in my mind.

-Now that I think about it, I could use your help in something, General.

-Me? -he pointed at himself surprised.

I nodded enthusiastically.

-You see, I need to train to improve my materialization skills so I can make the most out of it without getting exerted so fast, and seeing how you work with a similar type of skill as mine I think I'd benefit greatly from your teachings. So, could I steal some of your time, then?

The General seemed moved when he heard the innocent request of one of his treasured students. He prompted me to follow him to the training grounds. In there some exorcists were also training energetically; fighting each other without losing a beat, equally matched in strength but one of them at a disadvantage in speed due to his large muscular body. Tiedoll instructed me to an isolated side of the place, he pointed at the ground in front of us and began the lesson.

-First I want you to think of something easy to make.

-Easy to make?

-Like a ball or any other small object. Something that is easy to remember, it doesn't need to be too complex. The simpler you can make it the better.

Something simple. I closed my eyes and envisioned the mug I had drank coffee from this morning. It was a typical cylindrical shaped mug with a ''C'' shaped handle, but it just stood there, on the ground, its small existence insignificant to the world. I guess I could throw it at the enemy's head?

-Now, -the General continued -think of its texture. Is it hard or soft? Smooth or porous? What kind of material is it made of?

-I guess clay, maybe?

-Very well, then let's make it only clay. Now I want you to reshape that very same clay into something a little more dynamic but still simple in shape.

-How about a rabbit?

-Very well! Keep your eyes open while trying to maintain the image of the rabbit.

I opened my eyes, keeping my concentration on the mug that had been sitting inanimate on the ground. The clay began morphing, clumping and stretching into the shape of a round little rabbit. Although it didn't move too much you could still tell it was ''alive'' from the way its little nose scrunched every few seconds and how its ears went back and forth in response to the sounds of fighting exorcists around the area.

-Now we need to figure out something that you can make easily, something you know by heart and that you can keep alive to perfection without closing your eyes or covering your ears. It needs to hold in a fight, so it must be strong but not necessarily impenetrable.

-How about a person? Just the rough shape of one, yet detailed enough so it can move like one and fight like one.

-Alright, let's see.

Now the cute little rabbit had turned into a simple looking human shaped thing. It had arms and legs, ears and even a slight outline of the lips, nose and eyes. It could run and jump like a normal human so it most likely could also fight.

-Hmm, how are you feeling after creating it? -General Tiedoll wasn't completely convinced this was the optimal use of my ability-. How much mental energy are you consuming?

-I dunno, I don't feel any different. It's easy keeping the illusion if I see him moving around, whenever he moves a muscle I feel my own muscles twitching and pulling. I guess I'd have to try maintaining it in a fight to really test this out.

-You are right about that -he seemed deep in thought, stroking his beard from side to side and then proceeding to play with his bushy mustache-. Perhaps we should get someone to help. Don't move, I'll be back.

-But General! -I objected.

No time, he was gone in the blink of an eye.

I sat on a bench nearby, watching the exorcists from before having a friendly little chat after a tough training session. Perhaps next time I should approach them and ask if I could join their training session. It'd be nice getting to know more people around the Order and it'd do me some good to get some good exercise to strengthen my physique.

General Tiedoll was finally back, he hadn't been gone that long but it had been enough for me to completely vanish into my thoughts, far away in another dimension of consciousness. He had brought someone along with him. A slim tall figure walked behind him slowly getting closer until I could visualize who it was. The one and only, Kanda Yu. He looked different from his everyday style, giving off an air of being relaxed and flowy, casually using his sword's sageo to tie up his ponytail and sporting a tight compression shirt, baggy pants and black cloth shoes ーthis outfit must be the one he uses when training or doing some other kind of workoutー, it fit him nicely showing off those lean arm muscles.

-Very well, here we are.

-What did you bring me here for, Gensei?

-Your teammate over here needs some help with her training -the General extended his arm towards my direction.

I raised my hand as to present myself with a ''hi''.

-We need to figure out a way to keep her illusions alive while she's also engaging in a physical fight.

-She won't last a -Kanda turned to face me- you won't last a minute against me.

-Is that a taunt? -I answered, fully conscious that I could definitely not best him.

We took our places in the training field, both in defensive positions reading the other's probable moves. Who would attack first was a matter of who let their guard down first, and I was at an obvious disadvantage seeing as I needed to keep my mind on two different things at the same time. General Tiedoll instructed us to begin, which I did by materializing the clay like humanoid figure to my left side. Kanda didn't make himself wait. As soon as I had begun the materialization, he lunged at me with a set of front kickーside kick moves which I managed to avoid effortlessly with an upper block. Taking a couple steps back I attempted to move my clay mannequin into the fighting ring, its body moved as naturally as a person would but when it attempted to grab onto Kanda's ankle its hand turned to mush. Not losing a second more I concentrated on the creature's abdomen, hardening it before my avid fighter fellow exorcist could pierce it with a single punch. This man was freakishly strong, way stronger than he should be at his size and muscle mass.

He took advantage of my temporary distraction and swung his elbow at me, hitting me straight on the right temple and upper jaw. My body flew several feet away after being hit, scraping my hands and knees on the ground. I quickly got up, overcoming the stinging pain on my face and limbs. However, he was serious about this fight and wouldn't give me time to get back up. He took me back down in an Osotogari throw, my back hit the floor expelling all the air from my lungs. My vision went dark for a moment and I lost all the strength in my limbs.

-Alright, alright -the General intervened- this isn't working.

Once my vision came back to normal I saw my opponent's smug face looking at me, I turned my head towards the General, unable to face my evident defeat.

-You aren't even making use of Mr. Clayman over there. Look at him, he's just standing there with a hole in his chest.

-Poor Mr. Clayman…-I turned my head to look at him. He was standing inanimate, right where Kanda had taken him out, with a sad look on his face staring at the hole in his chest. Part of me wanted to just lay there and call it a day, however Kanda offered me his hand to help myself up and I begrudgingly took it, ready for a rematch.

We tried again, this time paying more attention to Mr. Clayman. Front Mawashi geri, then a Sukui nage, and so on and so forth. This task was simply impossible. There was no way I could have a perfectly balanced fight while keeping focus on two different things at the same time.

My body was collecting punches, kicks and throws left and right, while barely being able to give back a couple of any of those. Kanda was ruthless, just like his personality.

I put my hands up front covering myself from his next attack. Out of breath and out of mental fortitude, I surrendered.

-I can't, -my breathing was irregular and strained -I can't.

-There's no giving up! -he bent his leg towards his chest taking impulse to kick me out of balance.

Once again I fell down, this time letting out a desperate scream. My legs were shaky and my palms were beginning to go numb. I couldn't get up anymore, I just couldn't. But the man in front of me would not take a no for an answer, he was willing to go as far as lift me up just to kick me back down to the ground without a trace of mercy. I was unable to move anymore and I grew desperate.

Mr. Clayman materialized before me, yet, he wasn't Mr. Clayman anymore but a familiar looking being. It was me! Somehow I'd managed to make a copy of myself to defend me from imminent harm! It seems that my sense of self preservation had overridden my conscious mind, hijacking my ability to materialize Mr. Clayman and making its own version of him, something that would feel like second nature to me. Myself. I'd spend a lot less mental energy by controlling a thing that resembles me, that has my reflexes, my thinking, my survival instincts. And what's better, this sense was so strong that I barely put my mind into the materialized being when getting ready to strike my opponent. This was what we were looking for all along!

The newer version of Mr. Clayman faced off against Kanda, materializing on and off around his moves and trapping him by the shoulders, bleeding clay around his neck and stiffening in the shape of a second set of arms. Arms that had him in an inescapable chokehold, squeezing tighter as the clay progressively hardened. The look of disbelief on his face was priceless, this was one bit of karma for the many he had put me through today.

-Let's stop here -General Tiedoll conveniently intervened once again- you're both out of reserves. Go shower and then have something to eat so you can replenish all that lost energy.

-Don't have to tell me twice -I slowly got up, still shaking from the adrenaline rush-. I'm out.

We all left the training grounds together though we lost sight of the General at some point while heading for the showers. My room was on route to the shower area so I went inside to grab a change of clothes and a fresh towel. Afterwards, I hit the showers.

It must've been one of the best showers of my life. The cold water hit my injured body, soothing the burning feeling coming from the scrapes on my hands and knees. My face benefitted from the cold water too, as that elbow to the face really left a sting on my cheekbone. I was convinced I'd wake up the next day with a giant purple mass covering half my face.

That damned guy with his merciless combat style, and here I thought we had begun to become friends. I came out of the shower after a good while, feeling blissfully clean.

Walking out the bathroom area, I stumbled upon a freshly showered Kanda sitting at the bottom of the stairs, he had a towel resting on his shoulders and his eyes had that thousand yard stare kind of look. He hadn't become aware of my presence until I tapped him on the arm, only then did he turn his face to look up at me.

-You had to go for the face, didn't you? -I complained sarcastically.

-I'll admit it was a bit overkill -he smiled arrogantly.

-I can't wait to face everyone tomorrow at the dining hall with a plum for a face.

-Don't worry, I'll let you sit next to me if you get rejected by your friends.

-I'd be truly honored -I bowed dramatically.

We stared at each other quietly, I sported a lighthearted smile on my face while he gazed at me with his deep dark eyes. Silence was a key component to the air around us. I felt the urge to shorten the distance between our bodies, simply standing closer to him in a more intimate feeling, like that of good friends.

-I never really got the chance to thank you -my voice was awfully shy tonight.

-Thank me for what?

-Saving my life, that is, the General told me what you did, -to me it seemed obvious what I was thanking him for, so I bent in a deep bow-. Arigatou gozaimashita.

It took him by surprise to be thanked with such respect, with such devotion, a true display of gratitude; for I was glad to be alive. Glad to be able to live to see another sunrise, to be able to walk again around the snapdragon gardens at the General's estate, to drink another cup of coffee and to smile tenderly at the people I cared about. Life had so much meaning to me, so much to live for, so much to look forward to, so many new people to meet and new places to discover. I could have lost the opportunity to experience all that had I not survived.

This time, I'd train hard to persevere in a fight, to always win without risking my life, to always survive. My life was now a homage to the people that fought for me, to those that took the time to care for me, to help me, to listen to me, to hold me, to guard me in my sleep.

-You're putting too much meaning into it -he brushed me off.

-Not only did you literally save my life, but you also cared enough to wipe away the blood from my face while I was unconscious -he shook his head while looking down, trying to deny the fact-. I could tell from the dried blood under your fingernails.

To this, he could not argue. It's true, I had noticed it when I went to the bathroom at the estate, that my face was clean all over but the insides of my nostrils weren't. When we walked back to the train station, I carefully observed his pale hands ーthere was some black dried blood stuck to the undersides of his nails and on the corners of his cuticlesー, he had cleaned my bloodied face, getting his hands covered in my blood in the process. Now, I don't know about you but I wouldn't really care enough about someone I just met to clean their bloodied face and even less if it was someone I particularly disliked. They could clean it themselves upon waking from their slumber.

I could tell Kanda was a little embarrassed of being found out that he could have a sweet side to all that sourness; he hadn't been able to look at me since I pointed that out.

Instead I placed my eyes on him, noticing the water droplets traveling down his long black hair reaching their destination at the bottom of the staircase.

-Your hair's dripping all over -I pointed out.

He turned to look at his soaked shirt, then grabbed the towel that had been resting on his shoulders and used it to gently dry the tips of his hair. He dabbed careful not to roughen up his delicate hair strands, a secret to healthy long hair. I watched as he repeated the action a couple more times until reaching the desired dryness, it was cute to see him so concentrated on such a minute task.

-Your hair's beautiful -the words simply escaped my mouth.

-That's an odd compliment -he shot back.

-Can't a girl be jealous of a grown man's shiny shiny hair? -I stuttered.

-Let me know if you want in on my secret for perfect hair.

We both laughed quietly, finding understanding in each other's words.

I felt like I had uncovered a contrasting side of Kanda, the sarcastic but playful one, and I was truly beginning to like it.

-Well, I'm off to bed -I concluded, turning around to leave -. Goodnight, Kanda.

-Oyasumi -he whispered.

I don't know about him, but I left our brief reunion with a smile on my face. Chief Komui was right, Kanda could be a total ass to everyone at first but, if you managed to break in through his tough walls, he was actually a good man. He cared, he simply sucked at showing it. And, let's be honest, his personality was still shit: that was just his nature.