A/N: Revised: 11/15/2023

Stables…

Aqua yawned as she groggily opened her eyes and looked around, the gears in her mind turning as she woke up.

It was then the events of the previous day came to her.

So she screamed.

"AhhhhhhHHHHHHHH!"

This was to be expected considering what had happened to her. Aqua's image as a goddess had improved, and she could feel her following rising even now, but none of it was because of her own efforts! It was all a big lie!

A big, stupid, orange lie!

Aqua jumped to her feet. Now wasn't the time for sleeping! She had to avenge her image as a goddess!

"It's good that you're feeling better, but keep it down Aqua. Unless you want to get yelled at by our neighbors again."

Aqua turned to find Kazuma laying on a pile of hay with his face hidden behind an orange object. It seemed he wasn't really listening to her at all and just wanted to shush the noise. But to see the former shut-in NEET with a book was… strange, to say the least.

"Hey, what's that? I never would have thought that Kazuma would actually pick up a book."

"That's the first thing you say to me even after I waited until the afternoon? How rude. Whatever… It's a book I found yesterday. Since we didn't go on a quest and I had some time to kill, I walked around the town for a bit. I found this interesting book in a corner stall. Apparently, it's pretty infamous. So I decided to buy it."

Kazuma explained with a twitching eyebrow before he placed a piece of straw to mark his spot in the book. He then stood up and placed the object into his back pocket.

Aqua hummed in response, she didn't really care what the book may be about. Knowing that NEET, it was probably just porn.

"Anyways, it's already past noon. The others are probably waiting for us at the guild."

Kazuma said and left the stable so Aqua could change since she was still in her pajamas.

After the boy left, Aqua began to undress, all the while plotting her revenge.

As Kazuma and Aqua walked through the streets of Axel, they had a few run-ins with some of the townsfolk. As expected, the appearance of "goddess Aqua" was the center of talk amongst the people.

"Good afternoon, Aqua-chan!"

"Thank you for your hard work, mizuru~!"

Kazuma stifled his laughter as the townspeople greeted Aqua. But he was surprised how well kept the girl was acting. He had expected Aqua to blow her top after hearing the odd verbal tic, but she merely smiled cheerfully and waved back.

While it may not have been intentional, her image as a goddess was improved. Heck, she probably gained more worshipers due to that whole scene yesterday. So maybe that girl would start acting more mature from now on.

After greeting a couple more townsfolk, they walked inside and immediately found the other two colorful members of their party.

"Ah, Kazuma and Aqua are here! Shall we gather our mettle and go hunt some toads?"

Darkness asked rather excitedly.

Aqua's cheerful demeanor finally broke as she gained a look of horror and turned to Kazuma, but the boy just shrugged.

Despite Kazuma's disapproval the day before, Darkness and Megumin had ultimately decided to go on the toad hunting quest again.

"Sorry Aqua, but those two wouldn't take no for an answer. Let's just go-"

"No! I don't wanna hunt toads anymore! I hate the gross feeling of being covered in slime! Don't wanna! Don't wanna! Don't wanna!"

Aqua cut him off and began to throw her trademark tantrum in the middle of the guild.

Kazuma gained a bitter expression. He was a fool to think this woman would change.

"Well if it isn't Aqua, mizuru~! I didn't think you would show up today, mizuru~!"

The party turned to see Naruto waving at them with a cheeky grin on his face.

Upon hearing the shinobi's voice, Aqua froze in her tantrum.

Kazuma leaned over to Megumin and whispered.

"That guy… Is he seriously trying to pick a fight with her this soon?"

"It seems so… But does Aqua even know it was him?"

The two looked at the bluenette in question and saw a malicious aura radiating from her form, causing them to take a few cautious steps back.

It seemed she did.

"What's the matter, Aqua-chan? Ae you dissatisfied with the way the townsfolk are treating you? Must be rough being such a devote follower of the Axis Cult. But at least your efforts have been acknowledged by everyone, mizuru~!"

Naruto remarked with a smirk, and the girl let out a few dark chuckles.

"I'll admit your plan was clever, Naruto… But my god vision saw right through your stupid act!"

Aqua lunged forward and locked hands with the shinobi, their foreheads bashing together.

Naruto smiled wickedly as he continued to push his forehead against Aqua's.

"I guess you still haven't learned your lesson…! But don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve!"

"Continue these sinful acts against God, and you shall receive divine retribution…! But if you get on your hands and knees now and apologize, I may just forgive you!"

Aqua responded with a smile that was just as wicked.

"Eh? Why is Aqua fighting with Naruto? Did they have a fight? …What? Why are you two staring at me like that?"

Darkness asked as she turned back and forth between the two, a jumbled look on her face.

Kazuma and Megumin sighed deeply. It seemed Darkness was the only one of their group who didn't know the culprit of yesterday's fiasco was Naruto. Even Aqua knew.

"Looks like our tank is nothing but a meathead who's a glutton for pain…"

"It's okay, Darkness. Just like with Aqua, we'll learn to accept you for who you are."

"Ngh~! What's with you two? Shouldn't we do something about those two? Although this kind of play isn't bad..."

Darkness asked with a flushed face while pointing at Naruto and Aqua.

"Nah, I think it'd be better if we just let them get it out of their system. I still haven't spent my skill points and was thinking of spending them today, maybe I'll do that in the meantime."

Kazuma casually responded and waved the knight off when she looked at him in disbelief.

"Naruto and Aqua really like each other. They're just stubborn."

Megumin added slyly.

This drew Naruto and Aqua's attention, and they pushed away from one another.

"Who would like this selfish brat that causes more trouble than she's worth?"

"Who would like this stalker that likes to dress up as his victims?"

Naruto and Aqua said at the same time while pointing at the other, then glanced at each other before looking away in a huff.

"I-I see now… How could I have not noticed it before? A-anyway! Shall we go hunt some toads-Wah! A-Aqua, don't suddenly jump on me like that!"

Darkness started saying when an angry Aqua suddenly pounced on her.

As the two girls wrestled, a newcomer walked over to the group.

"Um… What are you doing, Darkness?"

After pinning Aqua to the floor, Darkness looked up, and her eyes widened when she saw her friend.

"Ah, Chris! T-this is, uh… Aqua suddenly jumped on me and-"

"I'm Chris, a thief! I'm Darkness's friend. Nice to meet you all!"

Chris introduced herself with a friendly wave to the group.

"Nice to meet you too, I'm Kazuma…"

Kazuma said while eyeing the girl for anything suspicious. If this girl was a friend of Darkness, who was an uncivilized masochist, then something might be wrong with her too.

Chris seemed to have noticed Kazuma's intent and quickly stated her business.

"I couldn't help but hear you're looking for skills to learn! Might I suggest some thief skills? They're convenient and don't cost a lot of skill points to learn."

Kazuma rubbed his chin in thought. As an adventurer, he was able to learn any skill so long as he was shown the ability. Having a few thief skills did sound useful, especially compared to the skills his party members were offering…

Naruto squinted his eyes as he stared at Chris.

'I feel like I've seen this girl somewhere… But I just can't put my finger on it. Any ideas, Kurama?'

'Oh, I've got an idea. We "prank" that self-proclaimed goddess standing next to you by tying her up and throwing her in a river. That way she'd drown in the very element of her title!'

'Thanks, Kurama...'

It seemed the fox was still upset about Aqua using Purification spells on him. Just a little...

Chris squirmed under the shinobi's intense gaze.

"D-do you want to learn thief skills too?"

Naruto blinked when he realized he must have been staring for too long and waved his hands.

"Ah, sorry for staring! I just feel like I've seen you somewhere-"

"You better watch yourself, this man is a ninja who likes to stalk beautiful women."

Aqua said to Chris while sending the ninja in question a scornful look.

"Eh? Really?"

"I heard rumors about Naruto being a player… I didn't think they were true, but he does get along with the waitresses…"

Chris and Megumin took a step away from Naruto, causing the boy to panic.

"D-don't say things that'll cause misunderstandings Aqua! I just thought I've seen Chris somewhere before! That's it!"

"I-Is that so? Then perhaps you've seen me around town?"

Chris suggested while scratching the scar on her cheek awkwardly.

"Yeah, maybe…"

Naruto said while scratching his whisker marks.

"Ahem! Now then, shall we get back to the conversation at hand? Chris, I'd like to take you up on that offer for those thief skills. What do I owe you?"

Kazuma interjected, annoyed at the sudden focus on Naruto.

Chris smiled widely.

"Great! Just buy me a drink, and we'll call it even. After all, Thief skills are really easy to learn."

"Really? Then one drink for the lady please!"

Kazuma shouted to the waitress that was walking nearby. He was short on Eris since they didn't go on a quest the day before, so he was glad the price to learn some new skills was this cheap!

Naruto crossed his arms in thought. Should he ask to learn some Thief skills too? The only one he's learned so far was the Cooking skill he learned to make ramen, so it wasn't like he was short on points.

"Hey, Chris? Mind if I learn some Thief skills too?"

"Sure, I don't mind. But you'll have to buy me some expensive wine for making me teach two people at once."

Chris said as she picked up the drink from Kazuma.

"S-seriously?"

Naruto said and considered his deflated wallet. His last prank had been rather expensive… Poor Kaeru-chan.

"Just kidding!"

Seeing the panicked look on the teen's face, Chris winked and stuck her tongue out playfully.

'Good thing I don't have to spend the rest of my ram-er, living expenses… But why do I feel like this has happened before?'

Naruto thought and let out a breath of relief.

As the three walked towards the exit, Kazuma grumbled to himself.

'Why did she only tease Naruto? No, and not just that. What's with that guy? I'm pretty sure Aqua likes him, all the waitresses are friendly with him, and even the head receptionist Onee-chan is always asking him for help!'

Not that Kazuma really cared all that much, but this was his story in another world damn it! Where was his harem of girls!?

Kazuma looked back at his party. Aqua was currently arguing with Darkness about the toad quest, while Megumin was sneaking the rest of Aqua's food onto her own plate.

. . .

'I want to go back to Japan…'

Naruto and Kazuma stood in front of Chris in an alley near the adventurer's guild, she had just finished demonstrating the Lurk and Enemy Detection skills.

"This last one is my personal favorite and the most useful in my opinion. I'm going to use you for the demonstration, is that okay with you guys?"

Chris asked, and when the boys nodded their heads, she reached her hand out towards them.

"Steal! Steal!"

Naruto and Kazuma shielded their eyes when a flashing light shined from the silver-haired girl's hands.

When the light dimmed down, Chris was revealed to be smirking as she stared at the two pouches of coins in her hands.

"Ah! My wallet!"

Kazuma shouted in surprise while doublechecking his pockets to find them empty.

Naruto felt his person and found that Kaeru-chan had been stolen as well, which really surprised him. He didn't even sense it being taken by the skill! The other techniques Chris had shown weren't all that impressive to him, as he was already a master at stealth, and could sense the negative emotions of his enemies via Kurama's chakra. But this Steal skill really stood out to him.

"There you have it! This is the Thief skill, Steal. When successful, you can take one of the enemy's possessions at random. What you get is dependent on your Luck stat."

Chris then offered Naruto and Kazuma their bags of coins but stopped just before she was about to drop it in their hands. She then gained a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Say, why don't we have a little showdown?"

"Showdown?"

Kazuma asked and turned to Naruto, who shrugged.

"You two learn the Steal skill and use it to try and take back your wallets from me. But that's not all you can get, this magic dagger here is easily worth four hundred-thousand Eris!"

Chris challenged while gesturing to the shiny dagger hanging on her hip.

"Oh! Then don't cry when I steal something important!"

Kazuma declared and pulled out his adventurer's card. Looking at all the skills he could learn, he skipped past the useless party tricks skill and found the Thief skills that Chris had taught him.

"One more thing… You also have a chance at winning one of these as a consolation prize!"

Chris added and revealed a few rocks in her hands, causing the teen's eyes widened.

"Ah! That's dirty! But it's too late to back out now, and this is the kind of thrill I've been waiting for in this world!"

Kazuma growled, but ultimately accepted the challenge. If there was anything he was confident in, it was his luck.

Naruto grinned, he couldn't back out of the showdown now if Kazuma was going all in. So, he pulled out his adventurer's card and learned the Steal skill himself. Upon selecting it, the knowledge of the skill dawned on him like an old memory. The feeling was sort of like when he received the experiences of his Shadow Clones.

"Oh, are you going to join in as well Naruto-san?"

Chris asked, her mischievous smile growing.

"Of course! I never backs down from a challenge!"

Naruto responded and outstretched his hand, but not before looking at his friend.

"Ready, Kazuma?"

"Yeah!"

With that, the boys extended their palms towards the girl and activated their new skill.

"Steal!" x2

"Ah! There you are Kazuma! Tell this weird woman that we're not going on a toad hunting quest anymore!"

Aqua shouted when she saw Kazuma walk into the guild, who was then followed by Naruto and Chris.

"W-weird? How is it weird that I only wish to go on a quest that our party would excel in? The plan that Megumin and I have created will surely-Hey, are you alright Chris?"

Darkness asked, raising an eyebrow when she noticed the defeated look on her friend's face.

Chris looked away in shame with teary eyes.

"I was completely defeated… When I taught them the Steal skill and challenged him to a showdown, Kazuma stole my panties and said that all the money I had on hand wasn't enough to give them back!"

"Wh-what are you saying all of a sudden!? Although most of what you said is true…"

Kazuma shouted while mumbling the last part before he gulped when all the stares from the female adventurers in the guild turned ice cold.

The three girls turned to Naruto for confirmation, and the shinobi nodded.

"It's true, and this guy was even twirling her panties in the air like a madman. I knew Kazuma was a pervert, but…"

Naruto added while staring at the boy in question incredulously.

"Ah! Naruto, you traitor! As a man, you should be on my side at times like this! I can't believe you stole Chris's magic dagger that's worth four hundred-thousand Eris and gave it back to her!"

Kazuma shouted while pointing an accusing finger at the shinobi.

"Of course I did! You were threatening to make her panties a family heirloom, and I felt bad for her!"

Naruto shot back and crossed his arms adamantly.

"Did he say four hundred-thousand Eris? And he gave it back to her?"

"Such generosity… compared to that other guy."

"Maybe Naruto isn't so bad after all…"

Kazuma frowned when he heard the murmurs of the other adventurers talking about them. What a noisy audience. Who asked them to listen in on their conversation?

"Naruto learned Steal as well?"

Megumin asked, and Naruto grinned widely.

"Yeah! Let me show you what a real Steal can do!"

"Ah, wait! Try it on me-"

Naruto raised his hand towards Megumin and fired off a Steal, and at the same time, Darkness moved in front of the little girl.

. . .

"Eh? What is this?"

Naruto questioned when he felt something weird in his hand. It was strangely soft…

"Ngh~! I've misjudged you, Naruto! To think you had this side of you all along! How wonderfully despicable!"

Darkness muttered through heavy breaths and a deep blush on her face, all while covering her armored chest with her hands.

In Naruto's outstretched hand was Darkness's white, lacey bra.

"W-wait a minute! This skill is luck based! It's random!"

Naruto shouted in an attempt to clear his name, but it was too late. The rumors were already spreading throughout the guild like wildfire.

"Ah, so he really is a pervert too."

"He must have given that girl her dagger back to lower her guard."

"As expected of 'Naruto the player'."

Kazuma laughed with glee as Naruto began to panic.

"Hahaha! It's too late now, Naruto! Now I'm not the only one!"

"Kazuma and Naruto have been leveling up recently, they must have changed their jobs to pervert."

Megumin said while staring at the two boys flatly and hid herself behind the squirming Darkness.

"What!?"

Kazuma barked when half the stares circled back to him.

"We better be careful from now on, that hiki-NEET and stalker ninja must have teamed up. I hereby name their allegiance 'The Panty and Bra Thief Brothers'!"

Aqua declared while sticking her chest out proudly.

'She's proud of that name?'

Naruto thought with a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek before shaking his head. Now wasn't the time for that. If he didn't do something fast, then he would be forever labeled as a pervert in this town! He greatly preferred being called a delinquent over a pervert!

But Naruto didn't get the chance to redeem himself when a loud voice interrupted them.

"EMERGENCY QUEST! EMERGENCY QUEST! ALL ADVENTURERS, PLEASE HEAD TO THE FRONT GATES AT ONCE!"

"Luna-chan?"

Naruto questioned as he heard the head receptionist's voice calling out to the adventurers through the guild's magical speakers.

What was an emergency quest?

A/N: Next time is the cabbage hunt!