Chapter 5: After the very first fight

Colin and Penelope had enjoyed a wonderful three months together, basking in what most people call the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Everything between them felt easy, with no arguments or tension in sight. But as with any relationship, doubts can quietly take root, and for Penelope, those seeds of doubt were growing quickly.

Over time, Penelope began to notice Colin's reluctance to post about her on his Instagram. In fact, she had practically had to push him into sharing anything about them publicly. Colin eventually obliged, sensing how much it mattered to her, but it didn't erase the nagging feeling in the back of her mind.

Being in the public eye—as both of them were famous writers—came with its own pressures. Penelope couldn't understand how the same people who once rooted for them to be together were now questioning their relationship. Worse still, some claimed that she wasn't deserving of the great, handsome Colin Bridgerton.

They were sitting together in Colin's apartment, and from the outside, they looked every bit the loving couple—with Penelope's head resting on Colin's lap. But the usual warmth between them had been replaced by a growing tension. Penelope scrolled through her phone, her brow furrowing as she read yet another comment about their relationship.

"Oh, look at this one," she muttered. "Someone said we're 'cringe' because we posted too many photos together. Can you believe that?"

Colin sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Why do you even care what they think, Pen? It's just noise."

Penelope's eyes flicked up, a spark of frustration in them. "It's not just noise to me. People have been talking about us forever, and now that we're finally together… I want to share it. I want people to see us."

"And?" Colin replied, sharper than he intended. "Why does it matter so much? We're together because we love each other. Isn't that enough?"

Penelope set her phone down, sat up and turned to face Colin, her voice trembling slightly. "It's not just about us being together, Colin. You've always been the one people notice. You've never been overlooked. You don't know what it's like to feel invisible—only to finally be seen and wanted by someone. And now that you want me, people are saying I don't deserve you. That I'm not good enough fortheColin Bridgerton, writer extraordinaire."

Colin frowned, the words hitting him harder than he expected, but he couldn't hide his frustration. "You can't seriously believe that," he said, brushing it off. "That's ridiculous, Pen. You think I don't understand? Just because people have paid attention to me doesn't mean I've ever cared about it—or wanted any of it. And the idea that you're 'underserving' of me? That's absurd."

Penelope stood up, her frustration boiling over. "But you never minded it, did you? You've never had to wonder if people saw you or ignored you. You've never had to fight for it." She paused, her voice trembling as she stared at him. "Or even now. Do you see anyone saying you don't deserve me? No. It's always the other way around. People thinkyoudeserve better, and you're just brushing that off like it's nothing?"

Colin pushed himself up, his frustration sharpening with every word. "That's not fair, Pen. How can you say that? Do you really think I don't care? That this doesn't affect me too?"

Penelope's voice trembled, her hurt spilling over. "No, what's not fair is that you never had a problem posting about your ex—showing her off to the world because she was a model. But with me? Now you're suddenly not the 'Instagram official' type? What does that say about me, Colin? Am I just… not worth showing off?"

Colin's eyes widened in shock, and then something colder set in—he was hurt, but more than that, he was offended. "Are you serious? You really think I'm hiding you because of how you look? Do you honestly believe that?"

Penelope's voice cracked. "How can I not? You've always been with women who are… stunning. And now, with me, someone who's just average, you want to keep things private. It feels like you're ashamed of us. Ofme."

Colin's patience finally snapped, his jaw clenched. "That's not it at all, and youknowit. You're twisting this into something it's not."

But Penelope wasn't listening anymore. Her eyes filled with tears, and before Colin could say anything else, she grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

"Penelope, wait—" Colin started, but she was already gone, the door shutting behind her with a finality that left him standing in the middle of his apartment, stunned.

Colin stared at the closed door, his chest tightening with a mix of anger and hurt. How could she believe that about him? Of all the things she could have said, this—this was the one that cut the deepest. He wasn't trying to hide her. How could she think he was ashamed?

Frustration bubbled up inside him as he sat down, running his hands over his face. He felt completely misunderstood, hurt by her accusations, but also angry that she could even come up with something so untrue. He loved her, but right now, everything felt tangled in a mess of emotions he didn't know how to unravel.

Colin stood outside Penelope's apartment, his fist poised to knock again, even though he already knew she wasn't home. He had been standing there for nearly half an hour, alternating between pacing the hallway and leaning against the door, hoping she'd show up soon.

But time dragged on, and she didn't come.

Hours passed—three, to be exact. Colin had been sitting by her front door, his patience thinning but his determination still holding strong. His mind replayed their argument over and over, his frustration slowly giving way to guilt. He hated the way they had left things, but what hurt the most was the idea that Penelope could think for a second that he was ashamed of her. Or worse, that she was undeserving of him. The very thought was absurd. Colin knew his flaws all too well—he was impulsive, often making decisions without thinking them through. He wasn't perfect, not even close, and the idea that Penelope couldn't see how much he adored her made the knot in his chest tighten further.

Finally, he heard footsteps approaching, and his heart leapt in his chest. Penelope rounded the corner, her head down as she walked toward her door. She hadn't seen him yet. When she did, her steps faltered, surprise flickering in her eyes, followed by something colder—like the wall she had put up after leaving him.

"Colin," she said softly, standing just a few feet away from him.

"Pen." His voice was equally soft, but there was a weight behind it. "We need to talk."

Penelope hesitated, her eyes scanning his face before she nodded silently. She unlocked the door, pushing it open, and without another word, they both stepped inside.

The atmosphere in her apartment was thick with unspoken words. Colin stood near the door, awkward and unsure, while Penelope put her bag down and moved to the kitchen, busying herself with mundane tasks as if trying to fill the silence.

"Where were you?" Colin asked after a moment, trying to break the tension.

"I just… needed some air," Penelope replied, her voice quiet. "Some time to think."

Colin watched her for a moment, then slowly walked over to the counter, standing across from her. "I've been waiting for three hours."

Her hands froze mid-motion, but she didn't look up. "You didn't have to."

"I did," he said gently, stepping toward her. His hand reached out instinctively, as though he couldn't bear the distance any longer. He softly pulled her into his arms, feeling a rush of relief as her warmth met his. "Because I couldn't let things stay the way they are. I didn't want you to go on thinking that I'm ashamed of you."

Penelope finally looked up, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Then why do you keep holding back? Why don't you want the world to see us?"

Colin exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck as he searched for the right words. "It's not that I don't want the world to know, Pen. I just—" He paused, looking at her, hoping she could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I've been in relationships where everything was on display. The public watched every move, every post, every moment. And it wasn't real. It made everything feel… performative."

Penelope's lips pressed together, but she didn't say anything. Colin's voice softened, his gaze steady. "With you, it's different. It's real. I'm trying to protect that. Protectus. I don't want to cheapen what we have by turning it into something for people to gawk at."

Penelope shook her head, her breath hitching. "But it feels like you're hiding me. Like you're not proud of us."

Colin shook his head, his heart aching. "Pen, I'm not hiding you. I could never do that. I just don't want us to get lost in all the noise. I want you to know that what we have isn't about what other people think. It's about us."

Penelope's lip trembled as she looked at him, her walls finally crumbling. "But I don't feel like it's about us anymore." Her voice cracked. "I thought after our fight… I thought you were going to break up with me."

Colin's heart dropped. "What? No. Never."

Tears began to fall, and Penelope's shoulders shook as she broke down in front of him. "I was so sure… that you didn't want me, that you'd leave me, and that I was just this… this thing you'd regret."

Colin's chest tightened, guilt hitting him hard as he watched her crumble before him. He hadn't realized just how deeply she was hurting, how much this had weighed on her. Without thinking, his arms tightened around her, pulling her even closer, holding her like she might slip away. "Pen, no. I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I didn't know… I never meant to make you feel like this."

Penelope sobbed into his chest, gripping his shirt. "I thought it was over."

Colin held her tighter, his voice soft and steady. "It's not over. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Pen. I'm sorry I made you feel like I was ashamed of you because I'm not. I'm proud of us. I just didn't know how to handle the pressure."

She pulled back slightly, tears still in her eyes as she looked up at him. "You really mean that?"

Colin nodded earnestly. "I do. I even tried calling you—like, alot. I left you a bunch of messages, and even a few voicemails." He chuckled lightly, trying to ease the tension. "Which felt weird because, honestly, who leaves voicemails anymore?"

Penelope blinked, surprised. "Voicemails? I didn't get any…"

Colin frowned. "That's because you must've had your phone off. You really turned it off, didn't you?"

Penelope bit her lip, suddenly realizing, and reached for her phone. She had turned it off to block out the world, and now, as she powered it back on, the screen lit up with notifications. The phone buzzed, and buzzed, and buzzed again. Her eyes widened as she saw it—50 messages, 20 voicemails, all from Colin.

"Oh my God…" she whispered, looking at the screen. She scrolled through the messages, her heart swelling as she realized Colin had been trying to reach her the entire time. "You… you didn't stop."

Colin gave her a small, relieved smile. "Of course I didn't. I wasn't going to give up on us, Pen. I've been trying to talk to you for hours. You just had your phone off, hiding from me."

Penelope let out a soft, shaky laugh, tears still brimming in her eyes but now filled with relief. She shook her head, feeling a bit foolish. "I thought… I thought you'd leave."

Colin brushed a tear from her cheek, his voice warm but teasing. "Well, I would've had to leaveeventually, but not like that. I wasn't going anywhere until I saw you."

Penelope looked down at her phone again, scrolling through the endless notifications, and then back up at Colin. For the first time since the argument, she truly believed him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to doubt you."

Colin leaned in, pressing his forehead against hers. "It's okay. I'm just glad you know now."

For the first time that day—or night—Colin leaned in and kissed his girlfriend, and there it was again. The magic. He hadn't realized just how starved he was for her kisses, how much their fight had left him aching for this closeness. He never wanted to go through it again.

"I guess our honeymoon period is over now, huh?" Penelope said, her breath still catching as she pulled back from the kiss.

"Over?" Colin teased, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Your room's right there…"

Penelope grinned, stepping back with a playful glint. "Race ya!" she exclaimed, darting toward her room.

Colin chased after her, barely an inch behind before catching her just at the door. With a mischievous grin, he scooped her up, Penelope letting out a surprised scream of delight as he lifted her. Carrying her inside, he gently kicked the door shut behind them. Their honeymoon, it seemed, was far from over.