Author's Note: Welcome! Several episodes from Kim Possible are referenced, but you don't need to watch them to follow the story. However, this chapter is best enjoyed if you've seen the episode Stop Team Go.
Kim is an adult. This story will remain canon compliant while adding to the story/ filling in the blanks where canon doesn't give us answers. (Limit of Shego's and Ron's powers, Shego's age, etc).
The intention is to create an adult-rated Kigo spinoff fic. Enjoy!
A burnt tendril gave an idle wave, jammed between two control consoles. The same color as the lair's walls, it went unnoticed for days, weeks, months…
Shego was slumped in the command center's chair. Her neon green eyes were hazy and unfocused. She had no impetus to sharpen her clawed gloves to perfection. She had no inclination to open weeks-old magazines. There were no inane inventions for her to ridicule.
Mind unoccupied, Shego noticed the charred corner of cardstock trapped between the machines. With all the haste of a listless tortoise, she leaned forward and pulled the object from its crevice. In an instant, her irises shifted from clouded to sharp. For the second time, the image of Kim Possible and Ms. Go grinning together in the photo booth affronted her.
"I thought I burned this. Buried it," Shego mused, tempted to finish the job. The picture brought winsome and foolish memories to the fore. She wasn't sure she could call those memories her own. They were memories of feelings she hadn't felt since becoming evil.
Ms. Go had feelings. Shego didn't. Or, at least, that's what she tried to tell herself. Yet, since she had returned to normal, her normal, her behavior had continued to change. Twice, she made up an excuse and refused to fight Kim. Twice more, she saved Kim's life.
Now, here she was, playing world-fucking-hero with an ostentatious, shiny gold medal on her chest. Shego scowled as the photo reflected several times in the radials of her award. She should just torch it and forget it. She should send that fever-dream of a life adrift on a funeral pyre. Her hand trembled with indecision.
Two weeks had passed since the Lorwardian invasion. Shego was pardoned of all her crimes. Maybe now, there was a chance.
"A chance for what?"
Shego wouldn't even allow herself the thought. Ghoulish flames danced between her fingertips, further browning the edges of the photograph.
Dr. Drakken's jovial call cut through her misery. Still undecided, Shego shoved the remains of the photo strip into her back pocket. The last thing she needed was for Dr. D to see the picture. She'd never live it down.
"Oh Sheeegoooo! I've made coco-moo!" Drakken shrieked, causing Shego to wince and grit her teeth. Still, the warm embrace of coco-moo was welcome. Her expression morphed into a bored affectation as Drakken waltzed in. The man was twirling, splashing the coco-moo, his flowers acting in tandem.
Shego slapped a hand over her eyes and sighed. "I don't think the floor's as thirsty as we are, Dr. D," she groused. Drakken paused mid-spin and looked in the mugs, a faint blue flush on his cheeks. "Ah! I was just…cooling them off for us! Yes! Completely intentional!" Drakken gave her a lopsided grin. "I am a genius, after all!"
Shego raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, spell 'intentional'."
"I…N…T…E…N…S-"
Shego gave Drakken a sinister smirk, causing him to balk.
"Shego! I'm not a word guy! You already know this!" Drakken whined. He plunked her mug on the central control console and left the room, grumbling.
Shego snickered as she accepted her half-full mug of coco-moo. She closed her eyes. There was a grenade simmering in her back pocket. She tried to push it into the recesses of her mind. Drakken's voice floated to her from the adjacent room.
"Well! It's about time! I'm glad SOMEONE recognizes true genius when they see it!"
Shego decided to eavesdrop. If Drakken wanted to be passive aggressive, then she was going to be regular aggressive. The only question now was how much punishment to dole out.
"Ah…Really? A position at the Middleton Space Center? Seven digit salary, fully funded personal lab?"
Shego's ears perked up at the mention of money. Sensing no fodder for grievance, she began to tune Drakken out anyway. That decision usually saved her sanity. Then, she heard something that made her barrel through the adjoining doorway.
"Well, James Possible, maybe you are all that after all! I'll consider-"
Shego ripped the phone from Drakken's hands. Drakken blinked and looked over at her in surprise. Still, he knew better than to intervene when Shego was acting erratic. It always led to singed clothes and first degree burns. Mystified, he tiptoed out of her sight. He'd call James back later.
"Hey, uh…Do you know where Kimmie is?" Shego could hardly believe her own ears as she asked the question. The recipient seemed to feel the same way. The line went dead for several seconds. After what felt like an eternity to Shego, the speaker crackled to life.
"I do. She's at the Middleton Invasion Shelter, helping distribute food to refugees. Thank you, Shego, for saving my daughter. Should I tell her you're coming to visit?"
Shego was equal parts dumbfounded and flabbergasted. She was given the information with such ease. There were no threats, no blackmail, and no lies required. She felt like an upturned snowglobe, frozen until someone shook her world back into motion.
"No. I found something of hers. I'm going to return it. No need to make a big deal about it. Bye," Shego hung up the phone. Technically, that wasn't a lie. Kim had paid for the photo booth in the mall back then.
Shego flung her medal on the metal countertop, too distracted to care about scratches. She stomped off to the aircraft hangar. She had a choice between a hovercraft, fighter jet, and motorcycle.
After tapping her finger to her chin for a moment, Shego selected the fighter jet. It would get her there the fastest- leaving more time to indulge her impulsiveness, and less to back out. She drew a remote from her front pocket and opened the hatch. As Shego clambered into the pilot's seat, she felt more rattled than a Diamondback's tail.
"Don't be a pussy," she admonished herself. Shego gave herself a good once-over. She wore black leather pants with a racing stripe up either side in her signature green. A tight, black, satin crew neck T-shirt hugged her generous curves. A custom choker on a black cord adorned her neck. Its green, white, and black fireball emblem completed the outfit.
Shego pulled a simple green hair tie out of the fighter jet's dashboard compartment. She pulled her midnight trusses into a ponytail and nodded to herself in satisfaction. She made it a point to be stylish and stunning at all times. Lastly, she affixed her flight helmet and adjusted the strap.
"Now, Kimmie, you're going to give me an answer."
"Ms. Shego, it is our honor to welcome you to the MIS. What might be your business here today?"
Shego frowned at the large, burly man. Her short boot tapped with impatience. The man's uniform gave away his affiliation with Global Justice.
"It's Shego. Just Shego. And as for my business? It's none of yours."
The man chuckled, which made Shego's frown deepen.
"Sorry, it's protocol to ask all visitors. You'd be surprised how many people don't want to admit they're here because they need help. Pride and all," the GJ agent nodded solemnly as he pressed a button. The shelter's sleek, solid steel gates slid open. He stood aside as Shego brushed past him.
The agent watched as Shego scanned the front lawn. He could tell from his field training that she was looking for someone. Against his better judgment, he ran up to her. Shego turned and sized him up with the wariness of a wounded bull.
The man held his hands to his sides. "If you're looking for someone, we have a registry. I can help you find them!"
He began to sweat as Shego glared at him. It was clear she didn't like being watched. She rolled her eyes for good measure, then sighed in resignation.
"Alright. Where's Kimmie…Kim Possible?" The words tasted strange. Rarely did she speak Kim's given name, let alone in full. That was Drakken's thing.
The GJ agent gave her a broad smile. "Oh, I don't need the registry for that! This time of day, she's always in the main mess hall, helping to pass out food trays," the man gestured to a large, tall double door to his right. Shego was gone in an instant, her long raven ponytail flowing behind her. The man's smile widened further as he returned to his post.
"Food trays," Shego muttered as she stalked into the expansive room. Her patience was already wearing thin. Those threads were shorn even faster as the refugees gaped in amazement. Shego knew she didn't need her suit to be recognized.
Did Kim really have nothing better to do?
"Well, you don't, either," a small voice reminded her. Shego smacked it into the stratosphere.
Kim and Shego saw each other at the same moment. Kim's eyes widened, her features displaying mild apprehension. Shego set her jaw and marched herself over to the other woman. An outside observer would see a panther on the prowl. However, Shego was fighting the instinct to turn tail.
"Kimmie," Shego forced her trademark smirk. "Nice to see you've upgraded from hero to lunchlady. Ten years of this and they might make you assistant to the assistant manager," she snarked. When she didn't know how to start a conversation, she could always fall back on old reliable- needling.
Kim rolled her eyes at Shego as she handed out her last tray. She straightened up and placed her hands on her hips, apparently over her earlier surprise.
"I seem to remember you volunteering for garbage duty. Thanks, by the way. I had a nice graduation. Helping people isn't so bad, is it?" Kim gave Shego her best, most confident hero smile. Shego scoffed at the familiar sight.
"Yes. Yes, it is. It is and was bad. You tricked me with that ridiculous pout of yours! Never do that again!" Shego exclaimed, balling her fists and frowning.
Kim raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, mirroring Shego's energy, but continued to smile.
"No promises. So…why are you here? Did something happen with your brothers?"
Shego emitted an annoyed grunt at the mention of her idiotic siblings. Kim tilted her head in confusion as the other woman stared at her. The pink crop top Kim was wearing was further grating Shego's nerves. Shego shook her head. It was so not Kim's color. The white capris were okay, but black would have been much better.
"So I guess that's a no."
Shego shrugged and continued her catlike observation.
"Do you need my-"
"Don't! There's nothing I need from you," Shego's harsh tone cut through the shelter's stale air.
"If that were true, you wouldn't be here," Kim pointed out. "What's wrong, Shego?"
"Nothing! Nevermind! Just- ugh!" Shego waved her palm in Kim's face. She turned and began to stalk away. She wasn't sure who she was more disgusted with- herself, or Kim.
Kim wasn't going to let Shego walk out. She needed to know why she'd showed up at the shelter. She went into mission mode, finding a clue in less than a second. The thin edge of a misshapen, scorched sheet peeked from the top of Shego's back right pocket.
Kim lunged for the unknown item. Shego evaded her. The former villainess could feel the rapt attention of the refugees bore into her. With venom, Shego hissed, "Not here," and gripped Kim's forearm hard. She dragged her through a random door- the shelter's kitchen, still too public for Shego's liking. As good luck would have it, the next door led to a supply closet.
Shego released Kim's arm at the same time as she slammed the door behind herself. She turned the deadbolt. To her dismay, that created plenty of time for Kim to filch the photo from her back pocket. Shego's heart stopped as she turned and saw Kim examine it. Kim's brows were furrowed as she picked her head up and stared at Shego in disbelief. It made Shego want to crawl out of her skin.
"You kept this?"
"No. I burned it. Somehow, it survived. The paper manufacturer should get a raise," Shego deflected, chewing the corner of her lip in frustration.
"And…you have it with you? Why? Oh! Are you Ms. Go again?"
Shego didn't like the hopeful glimmer in Kim's olive eyes. She didn't like the excitement in her tone, the not-so-subtle shift in her demeanor. She took in a shaky breath. That's right- Kim liked Ms. Go. She hated the real Shego. Kim didn't want her.
Therein was the answer to the question she daren't ask herself. She shouldn't have come.
"No, I'm still the real Shego. The one you hate," Shego replied in a low, soft voice. She didn't bother to hide the hurt in her husk, the flash of fury in her eyes. "See you never, Princess."
Shego moved to rip the door off its hinges, mini plasma bolts crackling around her arms. Her roiling emotions supercharged the comet streaking inside her chest. The plasma fed from her anguish, her rage, her dashed desires. She was the only woman on the planet who could feel so powerful and so helpless at the same time.
"What were you going to tell me before you were turned evil again?"
Shego heard Kim blurt out the sentence in a rush. She paused, fingertips branding the thick wood.
"It doesn't matter," Shego's voice was strained, the door crumbling where she held onto it with a vice grip. "We'll never see each other again."
Shego felt a blast of air as she was yanked to the floor by her shoulders. Her glow flared to life of its own accord, encasing her arms in a blinding, deadly heat. She tried to stand without touching anything, but Kim was already pinning her down.
"You're so UNFAIR!" Kim screamed, and Shego's lips thinned in shock. Shego was lucky she possessed both anger and willpower in equal measure. She narrowed her gaze as she lowered the temperature of her plasma.
"Doy. I'm evil, aren't I?" Shego rumbled, as she stared into grief-stricken, indignant eyes. She wondered what emotions Kim saw swimming below her.
"Shut up. Since you'd rather run than talk about your feelings, you're going to listen. Unless you're too cowardly even for that?"
Shego growled and pushed Kim off of her as she leapt to her feet. She shoved her forearm into Kim's chest and pressed her against the ailing door. She was both expecting and wanting a prolonged fight. She quirked an eyebrow in consternation when it didn't happen.
"If you won't hear me out, here's the door. Coward," Kim seethed, slapping her palm against the doorframe. It took Shego a moment to notice that the other woman was shaking. She was scowling, olive eyes steaming with fervor. It had been a long time since she'd last seen Kim this mad.
"See? You do hate me," Shego muttered, mocking the phrase Kim had said to her on the Lorwardian warship.
"Sometimes," Kim admitted. "Other times, I respected you. Trusted you, when I shouldn't have. I noticed, Shego! Every time you saved me! Every time you threw the fight! You even gave up your brothers' powers."
Shego stepped away from Kim in a panic. Of course. If Drakken had noticed, there is no way Kim wouldn't have. She had let Kim destroy the power conduit. She had chosen not to hurt her; she had only toyed with her.
"Other times, it seemed like you really were trying to kill me. For instance, you dropped a concrete roof on me when I was in the Centurion suit."
Shego had backed herself into a pile of boxes in the corner of the closet. She felt like a rat trapped in a cage of her own making. She knew a question was coming, and she wasn't sure she had a satisfactory answer. Boy, did she ever hate talking about feelings.
"However, I always went back to school with all four limbs intact, despite your ability to melt steel. Why?"
Kim watched as Shego took on the appearance of a fish out of water. Her eyes darted back and forth, as if trying to find a way back to the ocean. Her chest heaved up and down. Shego's studious gaze settled upon a fresh mouse hole in the corner of the closet.
"Maybe I don't think stupid little heroes deserve to lose their arms. There, happy?"
"No! No more one sentence answers!"
Kim's voice was dangerous, dropping a register. Shego sneered as Kim strode within a hair's breadth of her.
"You should be grateful. Next time, I'll stick to one word."
"You know, Shego, MIS is planning a garden for the refugees. I'm gonna tell them to plant pansies in your name!"
Kim and Shego stared each other down like a mountain lion and a grizzly bear quarreling over territory. Shego shoved Kim, hoping to provoke her, but was once again thwarted by Kim's self control. She shook her head and tutted. Whether at Kim or at herself, she didn't know.
"Fucking…alright, already! If you're that desperate for sappy shit…" Shego took a steadying breath.
"I meant it when I told your other enemies that you were mine. Mine to defeat, mine to destroy- whenever I…felt like ending things, that is…but I never did…"
Shego trailed off, trying not to show how awkward she felt. She paused to see if Kim would respond and prevent her from saying more. She frowned as Kim stayed quiet.
"Remember this, Kimmie. If I had a chance to steal the world, I would. I'm pardoned, but…Dr. D seems like he has changed. I don't think I have. I'm still evil."
"But you like me," Kim said, as though a great secret had been revealed. Her face split into a massive grin, the ferocity evaporating. "You were evil, but you liked me. You still do."
"Evil means I don't like heroes, Cupcake. And what's with the past tense?" Shego retorted, but her voice wavered. She pushed her heels as far as they could go into the boxes behind her.
"Not in this case," Kim smirked up at Shego, who gulped and tried to look exasperated. "Why else would you be here, carrying this photo, as yourself?" Kim flashed the photo in front of Shego. One flaming hand snapped out to grab and burn it. Kim's agility kept the photo out of harm's way.
Now that the picture was front and center, Kim continued an earlier train of thought.
"There was something you couldn't tell me when you were evil. That's what Ms. Go- you- said. Then, Ron dropped the attitudinator and you got turned back to evil. He made some stupid joke after you took off with Drakken, and I laughed with him. Because if I didn't laugh, I would have cried!"
Shego's breath hitched as a single teardrop fell from Kim's left eye. The panic coursing through her stomach ratcheted up like a siren's wail. Kim had been right about one thing. Her legs were yelling at her to run.
"Oh no you don't," Kim narrowed her eyes, reaching forward to grasp Shego's shoulders. Shego cursed under her breath. "Calm down, Shego. We're just talking. No one can hear us."
Shego gave a small nod, her muscles clenching as Kim massaged her shoulders. The compassion in the hero's eyes made Shego want to send a concussive plasma bolt her way. Instead, she threw up a grumpy facade and crossed her arms. She pretended not to enjoy the feeling of Kim's fingers pressing the knots out of her rear deltoids.
If only Kim didn't know how much she loved massages. She shuddered as Kim's palms traveled down her arms. As soon as Shego's musculature began to soften, Kim continued.
"I lost a friend that day. Someone I considered an older sister. We didn't have much time together, but she spent every waking moment she could with me. She even convinced me to go with her on her date!" Shego cringed at the memories. She turned her head away from Kim's watery irises at the mention of Ms. Go's clinginess.
It was far from normal behavior, and both she and Kim knew it.
"But, in this line of work," Kim continued. "You roll with the punches. No matter how much they hurt. Even if they're full of plasma," Shego startled as she heard Kim give a wet chuckle. "So I tried to forget about it. About her. About you. How you could be, when you weren't evil. You did the same. Ran to Drakken. Acted like nothing happened!" Kim accused, jabbing a finger into Shego's collarbone.
That simple act seemed to snap Shego out of her stupor.
"If I heard right, you laughed it off. Acted like it meant nothing. Even though you were yourself the whole time," Shego spat.
Kim tried to interrupt, but Shego hooked her foot behind Kim's knee and toppled her over. She straddled the other woman's hips and grasped her wrists. She pulled Kim's arms above her head on the glossy tiles. She was flummoxed to once again meet no resistance.
"You weren't gonna change me back. You were gonna keep me as Ms. Go forever. And I thought I was evil! You understand that's no better than Dr. D's mind control, right? Newsflash, Kimmie. Ms. Go ISN'T ME!" Shego roared.
Kim frowned and bit her lip, the few tears she'd shed still drying on her cheeks.
"I…didn't think of it like that. Ms. Go is just…you, but good instead of evil, right? Why would I turn someone evil again?"
"Bullshit!" Shego snarled. "Do I seem like some bubbly ditz to you? Someone who'd be charmed by Barken's dumbassery? Someone who would follow you around like a neglected puppy?! The attitudinator clearly altered more than just whether I was good or evil!"
Shego could see Kim thinking back to her interactions with Ms. Go. With her brows lowering in a troubled manner, she admitted in a small voice,
"I guess…you're right. Ron didn't act like himself, either, when he was Zorpox…" Kim's bottom lip trembled with anxiety. She looked like she needed a hug. Shego wasn't about to give her one.
As if to prove she wasn't Ms. Go, Shego leaned down and smirked in Kim's face. She leered at Kim, her blazing glare intending to dominate. She lowered her powerful body onto Kim's, releasing her wrists. To complete her oppression, she caged Kim's head with her glowing forearms.
Kim's cheeks flushed at the contact. She glanced down at how their bodies were joined, indecision on her face. Shego could almost see the turbulence of her internal debate. Fight, or listen? After a moment, Kim relaxed. She'd lose the battle to win the war.
Shego grinned at her like a pelican swallowing its catch. One finger stroked a strand of orange hair with a mixture of possessiveness and condescension.
"Damn right, Kimmie! You're mine now! Taste defeat!"
"I set the photo strip on fire because Dr. D almost caught me looking at it," Shego growled, grinding her teeth at the forbidden words.
"Hell, I even let Barken try to serenade me when he showed up at the lair. You're the only one who acted like nothing happened."
Shego never would have admitted that, but she had to seize victory. She had to show Kim who really fumbled the bag, who really failed the heist. She had to make her feel even a fraction of Shego's frustration. She watched as the pain in Kim's expression returned.
"No one would have understood. I had no one to talk to about her- about you. No way to process the loss…I'm sorry," Kim whispered. "For that, and…the night of the Little Diablos. Those weren't my best moments."
Shego grimaced as she remembered the most agonizing zap of her life followed by the largest weight ever to crush her. The limits of her durability had never been tested like that before. They surprised even her. She walked away with nothing more than split ends.
Apparently, she was really, really hard to kill.
"Okay," Shego relented. She sat up, preparing to disentangle herself. "But I'm not apologizing for anything. Because I am evil, Kimmie. If you understand, let me walk out of here."
Shego squared her shoulders and puffed out her chest, but she could tell Kim saw through her false bravado. Sensing an opportunity, she tried to pry the photo from Kim's fingertips. Again, it flew out of her reach.
"Not yet. First, tell me what Ms. Go was going to say."
"I couldn't tell you this when I was evil, but I like seeing you in action," Shego deadpanned. She groaned. Kim was relentless. "Now, can I go?"
"I do too," Kim replied, doing a terrible job hiding her approving smile. "I couldn't tell you that when we were enemies. Do you really still want to go?" Kim held out the photo for Shego to take, true to her word.
Shego hesitated. Kim's eyes were shining with the same hope she'd afforded Ms. Go's potential return. This time, it didn't carry the anvil of dread and rejection. It invaded Shego's mind and shot through her cynicism.
"I guess not," Shego's voice was heavy with exhaustion. Talking about feelings was more tiring than any tussle. She snatched the photo from Kim's hand and incinerated it. The ashes fell between her fingers.
"Boo," Kim pouted, watching the soot spill onto the gleaming floor. Shego looked away from the pout, just in case. "Now we have to go take new ones! Middleton mall, 4 PM. After my shift ends. See you there, Shego!"
Kim sounded way too happy. Shego couldn't blame her; she had fallen for Kim's trap. Kim dug her Kimmunicator out of her pocket and handed it to Shego. She looked at her expectantly, pout still on her face.
Shego gave a put-upon sigh and punched in her number. Her glow vanished. She rocked to her feet and raised her arms in a nonchalant stretch. Shego felt waves of relief. She feigned a sulk anyway as she walked out of the room. As she left, she tossed the Kimmunicator behind herself.
Shego grumbled as she heard a chime from her phone. She pulled it out, and after rolling her eyes at the message, typed a reply.
Unknown Sender
"See? You do have feelings!"
Shego
"Never. Feelings are for suckers. See you at 4."