Chapter 70: Flowers, Cats, Conspiracies, Oh My (Part 2)
"Long time no see, Lugh. Touko finally stopped being a neglectful owner and let you come visit, huh?"
Raising a bag of leftovers from Pegasus Wings n' Brew Cayman further commented, "Here, I come bearing gifts."
The Phantasmal Beast visibly perked at his words, nose twitching as the scents from within the bag were no doubt of the highest quality to someone with a canine's sense of smell.
"Ooh, where did you get this from?!"
"Pub called Pegasus Wings n' Brew. They have some pretty damn good food, as you might have surmised."
"I think I'll go and pay them a visit, I want more of this!"
If the Golden Werewolf had a tail at that moment Cayman didn't doubt it would have been wagging up a storm, the Surveyor mentally apologizing to Shirou, Sakura and Medusa as he didn't doubt that they would be receiving a visit from the Phantasmal Beast in short order.
"Oh well. Let's just think of it as me providing them with a constant stream of business."
"You should go and take a look at that place, Lugh. I don't have any need for you at the moment so no reason to stick around. Go on, beat it."
With all the solemness and misery of a kicked puppy Lugh visibly wilted, Cayman taking pity on the Werewolf as he passed him the entire bag sans a box of stir fry, briefly brightening his mood before once again slinking out of the room like an abused housewife.
"Gotta say, Touko, you treat man's best friend like a used dishtowel. Guess there's a reason you have an Ether cat and not an Ether dog, huh?"
He paused, amending his previous statement with, "A very scary man's best friend."
"A 'very scary man's best friend' that got his chest caved in by a normal boy and promptly suffered a panic attack. May as well have a guard dog that gets frightened by the doorbell."
"Call me crazy, but when I think of 'normal boys' I don't think of highly trained killers that beat the shit out of a superpowered Werewolf purely out of instinct."
"...We're getting off topic. And how do you even know things like that? It isn't exactly a story I go spreading everywhere."
He just smirked and tapped the side of his skull, Touko shoving aside a coupon magazine she'd been perusing with a distinctly grumpy air.
"Inbetween your total lack of context for a lot of common knowledge and deep understanding of things you really shouldn't know about I would happily describe you as the living embodiment of a migraine."
"Well that would certainly go about explaining why I have the Zelretch green card of approval. Sorry in advance, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."
"Imagine my joy."
Chuckling at the Magus' deadpan response he took the seat across from her cluttered desk, sliding over the stir fry as she inquired, "So what brings you through my door? If it's another adventure you can save your breath, inbetween the money you've paid and samples provided I have enough to keep me busy for months."
"No adventures required but this may demand a bit of your personal time."
Withdrawing from his inventory the potion Hoestia had given him he set it with a dull thunk on the desk, Touko promptly frowning at the black liquid within.
"Parting gift from Hoestia. Suggested that me drinking it would provide a considerable benefit but let's just say that the more I hear of what both he and Norman were capable of doing I'm a bit skeptical of what the end result will be."
The redhead promptly slipped off her glasses, more intensely examining the item as he added, "No payment for this one and I need it all back - aside from a few droplets, that should be safe - but I imagine whatever you can find out from this will be compensation enough, won't it?"
It was a sign of how utterly fascinated with the presented object she was that Touko didn't even bother haggling for a better deal, fingertip idly tracing the outer edge of the vial as she murmured, "You really do give me the best presents."
A look that was half humor and half suspicion was abruptly directed his way, Touko remarking, "You're not trying to butter me up in preparation for a date or anything like that, are you?"
"Hey, a guy can dream about the unattainable, can't he?"
"Nice try, but I know for a fact you have a dozen or so little paramours already wrapped around your finger."
Cayman could only shrug, amusedly remarking, "And the fact that I have a dozen or so little paramours that keep coming back without slitting my throat is a mark of how charming I can be, right~?"
"Well you're not lacking in confidence, I'll say that much."
20 REP with Touko Aozaki [55/100]
A final scoff of amusement left the Magus as she said, "I'll take a look at it, if it's anything like the rest of Hoestia's work it's sure to be a real puzzle. You can show yourself out now."
"Much appreciated, Touko. Nice to see I rate the same level of hospitality as your dog."
"Don't let the door hit you on the way out."
He didn't bother hiding his smirk.
"Spare underwear, spare toiletries, simple snacks just in case the local fare becomes too expensive for either of us, change of clothing for three days even if I have to change twice a day…was there anything else?"
Desperately wracking her brains for any and all items she may have forgotten during her - admittedly - manic preparations Rossweisse was forced to concede that she had done just about everything she could to ensure that her upcoming vacation was as smooth and uninterrupted a process as possible.
Instead she forced herself to return to grading the essays she needed to complete before departing, lightly smacking her cheeks in order to regain focus…and felt her stomach drop as she realized she'd created a checklist of items in magically enhanced and very permanent ink - in order to dissuade cheaters and plagiarism - all across one of aforementioned papers.
"Oh no no no no, quick, where's the whiteout?!"
Scrabbling across her desk for her specially created eraser that could erase the non-erasable ink the Valkyrie abruptly realized what she'd been missing as she saw a tube of chapstick roll across her desk.
"Lipstick! I forgot lipstick!"
She hurriedly returned to her notes, nervously scribbling down the details at a furious pace-
"Geh?! Not again!"
-and despairingly realized she'd further made illegible one of her student's reports.
A keening wail left the silver-haired young woman as she dropped her head onto the table with an audible thump, wondering for what felt like the millionth time why she was such a helpless and worthless screwup when it came to matters of the heart and just romance in general.
How was she supposed to come across as even the slightest bit desirable or worth Cayman's time and effort when she had all the charm and appeal of a dull rock when he was do doubt surrounded by other women who would have been the envy of men all across the realms? For the tree's sake, even Lavinia Rani had been clearly interested in him and she couldn't hold a candle to that woman! And how was she supposed to be an interesting conversationalist when he was so effortlessly capable of talking to seemingly anyone-
"Boo~."
A teasing whisper, sharp gust of air tickling the inside of her ear and Rossweisse released a less than dignified yelp as she all but leapt out of her seat, heart hammering in her chest as she met the highly amused expression of Shizuru Kousaka, her Taimanin coworker arching an immaculate eyebrow as she blandly intoned, "Zoning out at work? I never would have expected that from little miss perfect."
Oozing confidence and sex appeal like a perfectly tailored suit the buxom blonde hopped onto the edge of Rossweisse's desk, crossing her legs in a blatantly unfair showing of casual beauty as she continued with, "So what's gotten you so hot and bothered, then? I don't think you've ever been this spaced out before and the entire faculty has bets going on what it is."
"If you're being harassed by the student's again then perhaps it's time I had a more…personal chat with some of them."
Rapidly waving her hands as Venelana Gremory spoke up with a no nonsense tone Rossweisse was quick to reply, "I-it's nothing of the sort, Lady Gremory! I don't receive anywhere near the same amount of comments I did when first starting so, erm…"
The Valkyrie promptly wilted at the Devil Noble's motherly stare, the woman not sporting the same sort of open sensuality Shizuru did but instead carrying herself with a matronly allure that Rossweisse found hard to ignore, her calm steps into the room demanding attention and correction.
"...Miss Venelana."
"Well I suppose it's too much to ask for you to drop the formalities entirely, now isn't it? You have the opposite problem of this one."
Shizuru airily waved her hand, dismissively stating, "You call someone 'Grandma' once on accident…"
"Well if it isn't the students complimenting your figure through less than elegant means then what has given you such distraction, Rossweisse?"
"In their defense, it's a very nice figure."
Blushing at the blonde's teasing comment the silverette had to fight down a self-demeaning comment as she beheld her coworker. Red heels, black stockings and garters, crimson overcoat and button down - a few buttons tactically undone - with stylish glasses all created a knockout and picturesque beauty that could and did have her pupils eating out of the palm of her hand. Even Gremory came off as so much more incredible than her, even though a simple pencil skirt, fancy cardigan and ankle boots didn't go out of their way to emphasize her beauty.
"I…I have a vacation date coming up soon and I don't think it's going to go that well."
A dramatic gasp ripped itself free from Shizuka's lips, the blonde exclaiming, "You have a date?! You, the eternally meek piner? It's about time!"
Venelana beamed, cheerily stating, "That's wonderful, Rossweisse! The faculty had a betting pool going whether you would stay single throughout the entirety of your tenure here and this is going to throw many of the more unkind estimates right out the window~!"
The Devil no doubt saw the thunderstruck and despairing expression Rossweisse now sported at the revelation her lack of a love life had been such a hot topic as she playfully stuck out her tongue, hastily amending, "My apologies, that was rather rude of me to say and unbecoming of a lady. Do you perhaps have a picture of your new partner?"
Seizing the sudden change of topic like a drowning man would a life raft the Valkyrie brought up the image of their party night at the Black Dog Bar, inwardly cringing at how sloshed she was acting, all but falling over Cayman's shoulder as an annoyed Vali was squished between them, Lavinia taking the selfie and grabbing a surprised Mai in an impromptu hug as Kairi tried to lean out of the frame, both Fairy's hollering with laughter at something or another.
"Ooh, so which one is it? The rugged, beefy stud? The suave, sophisticated blonde? Or the cute younger brother type getting a face full of your tits?"
Coughing at both the realization and the insinuation Rossweisse hastily stated, "T-the one in the middle, Cayman!"
Shizuru cooed at her words, happily remarking, "He's quite the catch. Good one, Rossweisse. I didn't know you had such refined taste."
Face heating with admitted pride at Shizuru's rare compliment the young woman was brought out of her self-congratulating as she noticed Venelana had a perplexed expression, the Devil remarking, "You certainly have interesting friends. At a glance I see two Longinus Wielders - one of whom is the descendant of Lucifer - an Enforcer and a Surveyor."
The Taimanin blinked, taking a closer look before lowly whistling.
"You know I always figured that if you did get a boyfriend it'd be someone who was more of the bookish and withdrawn type, a quiet nerd who would perfectly complement your own socially maladjusted tendencies."
Rossweisse released a noise not unlike a kicked puppy at Shizuru's observations.
"But look at you! A mysterious boy with a taste for danger? Not bad in the slightest."
More than eager to yet again change the subject Rossweisse hurriedly looked to Venelana, inquiring, "How do you know about all of the people in that photo?"
"Dear, I am the matron of a Pillar family. Knowing people of interest is half the job. And my son also just so happens to be one of the four Satans. Our family group chats are a little bit different than most, I would wager."
A sudden giggle left Venelana's lips, the Devil affectionately announcing, "When he's not being a mama's boy - both very endearing and mildly worrying at his age - he's sending us work related 'memes' and given the Surveyor's recent actions and adventures some of them have graced my eyes. Apparently your boyfriend is making a lot of people very busy."
Handing back her phone Venelana said, "But enough about work, what has you so nervous, Rossweisse? From the sound of it you are actually quite lucky."
"I am. A few days vacation in Constantine? It's wonderful and I'm glad he took the first step as I would have never had the courage to ask directly...but the problem is that when he has so many other alternatives available he's going to quickly realize that something this nice and memorable is wasted on me because I don't know the first thing about being a girlfriend!"
Shizuru merely gave her a bland and unimpressed stare, eventually stating, "The guy is apparently loaded with a dozen hot sidepieces and he still picked you to go to Constantine of all places? Honey, doesn't that imply he's really interested in you if he's taking you to one of the hottest and most exclusive resorts across the realms? If someone approached me with that kind of offer I'd do all sorts of favors for them~!"
Blushing at the obvious insinuation Rossweisse found her attention stolen by Venelana, the Devil reassuringly stating, "I believe you're overthinking and overstressing about this, Rossweisse. You are nowhere near as inept or clueless as you seem to think you are. And allow me to reassure you, earnest effort and puppy-like eagerness to please is more than slightly charming. It certainly worked on us, after all~!"
Shizuru giggled, teasingly adding, "Your dorky persona is quite the lure for those unaware of or not expecting its potency."
Now back to sulking at her friend's comments both women turned their attention to the Gremory matriarch as she clapped her hands, stating, "Now then! This is an occasion of monumental importance for Rossweisse and will no doubt be a make or break moment for her confidence. Thus, it falls to us to ensure she's as well prepared as can be."
Shizuru sagely nodded as Rossweisse felt an ever increasing sense of mild anxiety.
"That we do, that we do."
"Now then! Rossweisse, what sort of clothing are you taking for this journey of yours?"
"W-well I have a few nice dresses, fancy underwear, various shoes and even a few sleeping articles."
She nervously swallowed as both Venelana and Shizuru glanced at each other.
"We'll need to visit your wardrobe in greater detail but for now allow me to ask how much lace is included in this underwear of yours."
Feeling a trace defensive Rossweisse protested, "They're not granny panties, I'm not that tasteless!"
"And what portion is lace? Actually, let me ask how much is sheer or just plain see-through?"
"S-s-s-see through?!"
"Oh my, it seems we have quite the amount of last minute preparations to perform. Make time after work today and we will arm you with the greatest weapons a maiden in love can wield."
Reading Rosweisse's protest before it could leave her lips Venelana sternly announced, "I know how money conscious you are and I will personally pay for anything and everything you require. No use in protesting, I have the funds and strongly desire to put them to good use."
"Oh, there's even a sale on at the nearby mall. How fortuitous timing, hmm~?"
Both Venelana and Shizuru gave the Valkyrie predatory looks, Rossweisse nervously gulping as she found a whole new breed of anxiety begin to assail her.