The Knight Industries Two Thousand is waiting for his driver, who shall remain nameless according to the computer inside it unless describing the said driver in many versions of expletives for the time being since the Trans AM is right, royally pissed off. KITT doesn't mean what he is processing in his circuits, but at this moment, he doesn't care. Being covered in bird guano is not helping his mood.
The day starts as usual. Activation after recharging, a final check-up, a fresh supply of hydrogen fuel, a good morning to his soulmate, Michael Knight, and the banter of what assignment they need to complete. Ho-Hum.
When Michael stopped the car at a supposed empty warehouse, the day started to turn for the worse.
While Michael is doing Michael things, KITT's auditory system picks up the unmistakable sound of a flock of Columba livia domestica flying nearby. OH NO! KITT processes in his CPU. As soon as the computer completed the processing *PLOP, several bird droppings landed on his hood. "This is disgusting!" The disgruntled computer muttered out loud.
Two minutes later, Michael returns to the car and laughs at the sight of KITT's Anamorphic Equalizer moving from side to side rapidly in annoyance. Trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably, all Michael could manage a, "Looks like you can use a wash, Pal."
KITT's interior lights brighten, and the unmistakable sound of irritation is noticeable in KITT's voice, "Tell me about it."
"OK, Pal, I'll take you to the car wash before we go to our next destination. Turns out there's another warehouse. I'm going to investigate it," Michael said without the laughter from before. The man was good at his word. A short time later, the car is sparkling clean again and on its way to the warehouse. It's there when KITT's mechanical heart stops for an instant. Not again! More Columbas are present, feeding on seeds left behind by some squirrels.
The rock pigeons are startled by the sound of KITT's powerful turbines. They fly upward in panic, and of course, bird poop splatters all over the Trans AM's roof.
"MICHAEL!" KITT shouted again in disgust.
Michael exits the car and looks at the mess. I'll take you back to the car wash, KITT - AFTER I check out this place," he replies, smirking.
"Thank you, Michael," KITT said, resigned, as several pigeons landed on his roof.
Another thirty minutes later, KITT is again clean and sparkling. "Are we done for today, Michael?" KITT asked hopefully.
"Sorry, Buddy. There are four more places we have to check out," Michael replies apologetically.
Next place, more Columba livia domesticas. More guano, this time on KITT's Anamorphic Equalizer. Luckily, a large container of Handy Wipes is inside the glove compartment to be used to wipe off the mess.
The next place had more rock pigeons. The results were more poop on KITT's trunk. Return to the car wash.
The place after that had more pigeons. KITT was getting downright furious. Using his laser was out of the picture after getting splattered on his roof and hood. "MICHAEL!" KITT yelled both through the comlink and Michael's mind. (Mental link via brain chip.) Back to the car wash.
The car attendants are almost in hysterics when they see the black Trans AM and its much poorer driver appear again for the fourth time.
The last place, more $?&!#%& Pigeons as KITT cursed. At this point, Michael looks at KITT in shock. "KITT! I think your profanity subroutines need adjusting!" He checks out the scene and returns to the pissed-off Trans AM. "Alright, Pal. Let's go home. I'll give you a good scrub," Michael said tiredly as his investigation proved fruitless.
KITT doesn't say a word.
An hour later, KITT is once again clean and sparkling. The first thing he does is make a beeline toward the garage. "I can't get dirty in here," KITT said, relieved. Suddenly, there is the sound of a single Pigeon as it suddenly flies into the garage via the open door. "I'M OUT OF HERE!" He shouts and races out of the garage as a stunned Michael attempts to chase him.