Going After The Broflovskis.
By Shadowgate
Kyle and Ike both jumped out a widow since they were grounded. Once they landed they both took off and got on a bus. Kyle told the bus driver "airport please."
After they sat down Kyle noticed Ike looked pissed off so he asked "are you okay Ike?"
Ike answered "I feel fucking betrayed. Dad made me say I'm a fucked up little kid to mommy when I was caught doing the dirty work he made me do."
Kyle replied "well now I know Heidi was right when she told me it wasn't a kid who was doing this shit. I have a strong feeling dad was a bully when he was a kid. Now today in the era of the internet he gets his kicks by trolling."
Ike laughed and said "he gets chemical rushes from trolling as Skankhunt42."
Kyle had a big smile on his face and asked Ike "what do you know about chemical rushes?"
2 seconds later Ike and Kyle both laughed but little did they know someone on the bus was sitting not far behind them. He took a great interest in hearing their conversation. Skankhunt42 was the reason he'd lost his girlfriend.
He remembered back when Wendy said "I can't fix you."
He knew he needed to be more open to communication with her but now that he was fucked out of a relationship his target would be his super best friend and Broflovski family members.
When Kyle and Ike got to the airport Kyle used his credit card with no limit spending to buy two tickets to Denmark.
15 minutes later Stan Marsh went up to the lady at the booth and said "ma'am I don't have cancer but I've just turned 10 and I've suffered from depression and my school counselor believes I have Asperger's."
The lady at the ticket booth replied "oh you poor dear."
Stan went on to say "yes life has been rough and my grandma has cancer and she lives in Denmark. There's just no way I can afford a ticket."
The lady felt sorry for Stan and gave him a free ticket to Denmark.
Stan stopped at a gift shop and bought a black hat, reading glasses, and a copy of Time Magazine.
He got on the airplane and was grateful Kyle and Ike didn't even notice him since they were caught up in heavy conversation.
Once they arrived at the airport Kyle and Ike used an old credit card with no limit that he gained when the economy crashed. He and Ike were on their way to Denmark and they knew they'd track easily because their last names matched.
Stan Marsh got up to the ticket booth. He'd been well disguised and he overheard the two brothers say they were going to Denmark.
All he had to deal with was figuring out how to get a ticket to Denmark.
He went up to the booth and said "my good friend Eric Cartman had a cancer benefit and was given free air travel to Denmark and I feel I'm entitled to the same."
The lady said "please don't sue me" and gave Stan a ticket to Denmark.
The next morning Ike and Kyle were on their way to the troll trace because they knew that was where their dad would be.
They got on a bus and this time they noticed Stan was behind them.
Kyle asked Stan "what the fuck are you doing?"
Stan explained to him that he happened to be on the bus back in South Park and that the conversation they had was in ear shot.
"I would have said something but right now I'm angry that your dad caused me to lose my girlfriend."
Kyle told Stan "I'm pissed that you followed me all the way to Denmark and waited until the last minute to say something."
Stan chimed in "how do you think all the boys feel that they lost their girlfriends because of your dad. How do you think Cartman feels that he was wrongfully punished?"
Ike replied "I can relate."
Stan nodded and they all agreed to confront Gerald Broflovskis.
In the meantime, back in South Park Butters was confronting a secret, his secret relationship that is.
Nelly told Butters "you're a pretty sweet boy. Just don't let that fat bastard Eric Cartman influence you anymore."
In the meantime, Gerald told Kyle "don't let that little bastard Stan influence you anymore. I'll delete everything so they cannot trace it to us Kyle."
Stan screamed "that won't give me back my girlfriend."
Kyle pointed out that Stan had a few previous breakups with Wendy so he should be used to it now then chuckled.
Stan got pissed off and took a deep breath.
Ike approached Stan and told him "I'm a kindergartener and I don't want to face the backlash and bullying if my dad were to be exposed as Skankhunt42."
Ike stepped on Stan's foot deliberately and Stan punched Ike sending him flipping against the wall. Ike fell unconscious.
Kyle screamed "you knocked out my fucking brother."
Stan yelled back "he stepped on my fucking foot."
Kyle grabs a sword off the wall that was part of a decoration in the big tower of troll trackers.
Stan grabbed another sword and then they clashed.
Gerald growled "yeah" with a wicked smile.
After a minute of fighting with the stick swords Stan yelled "this is hopeless. We can't fight with these swords and have one of us come out on top. Goddamn it I can't believe it turned out to be an adult that was using the fucking screen name Skankhunt42."
Kyle quickly added "imagine how shocked I was when I went into Ike's room and found my dad forcing Ike to sign in under Skankhunt42 and do his dirty work."
Ike groaned and they looked over to see him wake up.
Kyle chimed in "speaking of Ike he's my little brother and you knocked him out."
Stan remarked "he attacked me first."
Gerald laughed and said "oh Kyle you can't let him get away with that."
Kyle stopped and came to his senses. He told Gerald that they'd already been in a huge quarrel because of Stan's dad activities and it was stopping right there.
Ike told Gerald he wanted to go home. Gerald didn't have a leg to stand on as he knew they were going home eventually.
Before Stan knew it they were on an airplane landing in Colorado.
Gerald reminded the kids nobody would believe them if they blamed an adult for all the trolling he did. Stan said "well at least I know I can't hold a friend or fellow classmate responsible for it."
Stan grabbed Kyle and hugged him, Ike jumped in for a third person hug which Stan accepted.
Stan asked Kyle if he could help him get Wendy back since Wendy helped him when that awful list came out.
Kyle agreed.
Soon after they arrived at the Denver Airport Stan said "Kyle I'm ready and don't worry I'll keep you and your brother safe by not blabbering your family secret."
Ike said "we'd appreciate that."
Gerald told Stan "that's very nice of you" to which Ike and Kyle both responded "shut up dad."
Stan couldn't help but laugh when he saw Gerald's face after both of his sons told him to shut up.
In the meantime, a couple who hadn't suffered from the mass breakup were both hanging out. Craig was in his room and he'd removed his jacket with a bad ass Kiss t-shirt exposed. He had Creatures of the Night blasting on his IPAD and Tweek was head banging at full speed.
After the song Tweek said "hey Craig sit down I got a big surprise for you."
Craig asked "what's that?"
Tweek walked behind Craig and told him "you've helped me when I've had anxiety so I think this is the least I could do for you."
Tweek began massaging Craig's shoulders.
After a minute Craig said "that's awesome Tweek."
ONE HOUR LATER
Kyle met up with both Cartman and Heidi and shortly after he arrived home in South Park.
Kyle told Cartman "let's all go over to your house. I'll give you compensation because you won the bet over that motherfucking leprechaun. I'm not sucking your Goddamn balls but I'll do something for you. After all your CPR got my heart beating again and I know you were unfairly punished for what the unknown Skankhunt42 did."
Cartman replied "I know what you'll do for me is as good as it gets."
Soon Cartman was sitting in his chair with a Terrance and Phillip t-shirt on. Kyle began massaging his shoulders. Kyle knew he'd be spending the day keeping Cartman happy and Heidi was continuing her research.
15 minutes later Kyle's cell phone rang.
"Hold on Cartman it's Stan on the phone."
Kyle answered and said "hello."
Cartman watched as Kyle's facial expression went from normal to total shock.
Kyle said "no fucking way!"
Soon Kyle hung up.
Cartman asked "well what the hell is it?"
Kyle answered Cartman "Mysterion just called me. It seems there's a certain boy at our school who has a private relationship with a girl going on."
Cartman replied "well not me my relationship with Heidi is public ever since my technological 'propertah' was destroyed."
Kyle responded "Butters and Nelly are seeing each other in private."
Cartman yelled "what the fuck! That hypocrite! I'll bet he was two timing on his Canadian bitch as well."
Kyle replied "probably."
When night came around Toolshed, The Coon and Human Kite all met up.
Mysterion told his comrades that since he got his blowjobs in the past behind Walgreens he wondered what happened behind CVS.
"From a distance I watched and saw Professor Chaos meet up with Nelly."
The Coon yelled "Nelly was that bitch who held the list."
Human Kite clenched his fist and said "a motherfucking fake list it was."
The Coon put his hand on Human Kite and said "you're not ugly Human Kite."
The Human Kite smiled and Mysterion stated "I've little doubt that Professor Chaos will meet Nelly tonight. Let's face it hormones are wild as ever amongst the children of South Park."
Toolshed groaned and said "especially with my lost love."
Human Kite pulled Toolshed aside and told him "you know if you really want Wendy back you'll have to man-up and be accountable for that relationship. What my dad did was horrible and I'm grateful you won't spill it. You know my ass would be dead in the grass."
Toolshed had nodded multiple times during Human Kite's dialogue and then he put his arm around his super best friend.
Mysterion asked "is everyone ready to confront the chaotic hypocrite?"
The Coon yelled "damn right" and they all took off into the night.
It was 10:30 PM and Nelly was behind the newly built CVS Pharmacy.
Not long after her arrival a sinister figure whose shadow she noticed came running by.
"In the dead of night, love bites."
Nelly replied "come to me oh great chaotic one."
Professor Chaos appeared before her eyes under a full moon.
The two young lovers embraced.
10 SECONDS LATER!
"Hold it right there Uncle Butters!"
Professor Chaos broke the embrace and yelled "Human Kite what the fuck are you doing here?"
Toolshed answered his question "it's over for you Professor Chaos. We're here to bust you."
Professor Chaos became enraged and yelled "Goddamn it Toolshed you and your gay friends have ruined my evening."
Toolshed said "you're right my gay friends are here to ruin your evening. Wonder Tweek slap the cuffs on this motherfucker."
Wonder Tweek stepped forward with handcuffs and Super Craig put his hand on Professor Chaos's shoulder and told him "you'll be spending some more time in the Coon holding cell."
Nelly knocked on the door at Cartman's house. Human Kite opened the door and snapped "what do you want?"
Nelly answered "I'm here to visit the one in lock up."
Human Kite took a deep breath and was about to say no but then Toolshed cut in.
"Let her in so she can see the prisoner. Prisoners get visitation rights with family and friends all the time."
Human Kite nodded and Toolshed whispered "had it been a kid responsible for the trolling we'd have him or her locked up in Cartman's basement."
Kyle took another deep breath and said "kids don't have the internet privacy adults have."
Stan replied "seeing how Butters convinced us to give up our privacy by showing our private parts in public all the while seeing a girl in private makes me damn glad he's locked up."
Kyle yelled "fucking right, he called me a Goddamn Uncle Kyle. He called me a sellout Jew boy like an Uncle Tom sellout nigger."
Stan giggled and said "don't use the n-word Kyle."
They both start laughing.
Meanwhile downstairs Nelly was holding Butters in her arms.
She told him "I know the girls didn't want this and after you dumped your Canadian girlfriend I had to have you. The girls will no doubt be notified of our relationship but hey, fuck all those bitches."
Butters and Nelly started making out.
The Coon told them "get a room" and Nelly responded by saying "okay" and dragged the professor into the cell.
She then turned to the Coon and said "I'm going to do the jail house rock on Butter's great big cock."
President Garrison yelled "hurry it up in there because I've got Mister Slave's ass I want to fuck and I have to be on a flight to TX in two hours to campaign for a total loser in the senate race."
THE END