A/N: I've only just discovered Lucifer (I know, totally late to the party), but I already love it so much I decided to write a fanfic. It's my first Lucifer one, so please bear that in mind if there are mistakes or if characters seem a bit off.

I've been wondering how Lucifer would be able to give therapy to the souls in Hell so openly. I know that Maze and Eve's wedding showed us that some of the demons would likely accept the idea, but I thought it would be unrealistic for all of them to. Even The Good Place didn't have that fast a turnaround.

So, this is me trying to fill in the blanks. And, at the same time, stave off the inevitable depression of having binge-watched yet another series, only to find out there's nothing more coming. Ha ha, save me…

01. House Call.

It's just a normal day. A normal day filled with normal problems and normal patients. Normal nappies, normal night-time crying.

Just so much... normal.

Perhaps that should have been her first clue. After all, nothing had been normal about her life since Lucifer had first walked through her door. She briefly wonders whether this means that a "normal" day is now actually an abnormal one, but then she gets a headache and has to remind herself to pick her battles.

The rest of the week had been quite unusual, really. It's not every day that the father of your child becomes God, after all. Or that you get a distressed phone call from a friend whose partner, after literal years of "will they, won't they", somehow ended up becoming Hell's therapist. Or their child disappears through a time portal.

Honestly, the photo postcard she had received of Maze and Eve bounty hunting on their honeymoon had been the least weird part of her week.

So she had expected today to feel different, too. But it doesn't.

And the more she thinks about it, the more hollow she feels. She can't help but miss Amenadiel's steady presence as she contemplates life as a single mother. Can't help but feel a stab of empathy for Chloe, who has to go through pregnancy and motherhood completely alone, with two children who will keenly feel the loss of their fathers. Even Ella, on the surface the least affected by the whole situation, has to reconcile herself with the fact that her friends kept all things celestial from her, and then the only two with real answers disappeared straight afterwards.

She's just gloomily given up on the whole train of thought and started online shopping when celestial life reasserts itself.

She looks up, wishing she could show Amenadiel a truly hideous brown octopus toy, and sees a woman standing before her. She blinks and reflexively looks over the woman's shoulder at her front door.

Yup, the door is locked.

"Um..."

The woman gives her an awkward wave. "Hi. Sorry, I'm not used to people seeing me. I probably should have announced myself sooner. I'm Azrael."

"Azrael." Linda rolls the name round in her mouth, trying to kick her tired brain into gear.

"Rae-Rae? Ella's friend?"

Linda's eyes pop. "Ella's friend the Angel of Death?"

"Yup."

"The Angel of Death."

Azrael shuffles slightly. "Should I say 'boo'?"

"Why are you here? Am I... Am I dead?"

"Do you feel dead?"

Linda stares at her, mouth gaping.

"Genuine question – I meet so few live ones."

"Um..."

Azrael sighs. "No, you're not dead. But I am here to take you to Hell."

"How can you take me to Hell if I'm not dead?"

"The same way Lu took Chloe. It's surprisingly easy. Oh... Wait. Actually, without the pendant, I might have to-"

"Wait, hold up," Linda says, raising a hand to stop the onslaught of information. "Chloe's in Hell? But I just spoke to her!"

"What? Oh, no. It was just a visit a while back. Lu said she wanted to go down there with him to help some guy named Jimmy Barnes?"

"That was in Hell?"

"Yup. Kinda weird that she didn't mention it. Apparently she had a lot of fun being a cartoon character, and if I had a lot of fun being a cartoon character, I would definitely have told everyone. Huh."

"I don't... even..."

Azrael's eyes turn somewhat sympathetic. "I get it. It's a lot."

Linda decides her best course of action is to just take a nice, fortifying breath and plough blindly onwards. "Why do I need to go to Hell?"

"Lu needs some advice."

"Lucifer wants me, a live human, to just... pop down to Hell and give him advice?"

"Yup."

Linda heaves a long-suffering sigh. "Sure, why not? The more the merrier!"

"You're being sarcastic, aren't you?"

Linda starts counting to ten in her head. Honestly, this family... "Why does he need advice?"

"It's probably best if I just take you to him," Azrael replies. "He seemed kinda in a hurry, and I've taken quite a while to get to you. Relatively."

"Why is it always an emergency with that man..."

Azrael seems to take this as permission, because by the time Linda has blinked, she finds herself staring at a pair of wings.

"I don't have Amenadiel's pendant," Azrael says by way of explanation, reaching out a hand and placing it on Linda's arm. "But I think this should cover it."

Linda feels a creeping, cold sensation spreading from her arm, and looks at Azrael in alarm.

"You'll get used to it. Now, we should stand together like this," Azrael says, gathering Linda into a hug. "I would carry you Superman-style, but for some reason humans don't like being picked up by the Angel of Death."

"Wait... Did you say 'should cover it'?"

"Mmmhmm. I've never done this before. Ok, 3...2...1..."

Linda is just trying to force her slightly numb lips to protest being a human guinea pig, when she feels a strange, light, floating sensation, before her stomach suddenly leaps into her mouth as if she's in a freefalling elevator.

She crashes back to herself what seems like an eternity later and yet no time at all, feeling as though she's just fallen from a great height. She blinks furiously, the world spinning around her like a drunken fairground, trying not to topple over on legs that are suddenly like jelly.

"Well, that's a relief," Azrael says.

Linda makes a noise that she isn't sure is part of any known language.

"We'd best go see Lu together - don't want you running into a demon. Or Michael. I need to find him first, though, just give me a sec..."

As Azrael closes her eyes, presumably to sense her brother, Linda tries to take in her surroundings.

She's in what feels almost like the winding corridors of a haunted castle attraction, white ash lazily floating through air that somehow seems to throb. She can see various styles of door winding their way before her, some held shut with chains and some looking as though she could just walk into a normal room.

She thinks she can hear screams coming from some of them, and shivers.

"Got him," Azrael announces. "Follow me, keep close."

They wend through corridor after corridor, and Linda soon feels thoroughly lost. She stumbles over nothing a few times, her legs still uncooperative, and dimly wonders whether she would feel scorching heat without Azrael's protection, or whether the stark coldness of the corridors would seep into her bones instead.

Eventually, they stop in front of a plain, oddly familiar door. "He's in there. I'll be back soon."

"You're not coming with me?"

"I'm the Angel of Death. It's a really busy job."

And, just like that, Linda finds herself alone in the corridor. "Great."

She stares at the door before her, trying to hear what is going on behind it. She doesn't think she can hear screaming, but who knows what silent torture Hell might have to offer?

She glances behind her at the corridor, considering her options. How long will Azrael's protection last? What if a demon comes around the corner? Or Michael? And what if there are demons inside the room? Or Lucifer isn't there? She only has Azrael's word that he is, and his family doesn't exactly have the best track record when it comes to trustworthiness. Could it be another scheme?

Something skitters outside of her line of sight, and her heart leaps into her throat.

"Damn it."

Not giving herself the chance to second guess herself, she rushes unceremoniously into the room.

Then blinks in shock. Because, right before her eyes, reproduced in almost exact detail, is her own office.

She looks behind her. Yep. Still Hell.

"Ah, Doctor! Glad you could make it."

Linda whips round again and sees Lucifer's head peering over the arm of the sofa, meerkat style.

"Well, close the door and come in," he says testily, when she doesn't move. "There's a reason I didn't want to have this conversation in the corridor."

Linda numbly closes the door behind her and finds her feet taking her to her customary chair. Lucifer swings his long legs onto the floor and sits up, straightening his cuffs nervously.

"What took you so long? It feels like I've been down here for eons – well, not literally eons, I suppose. How long has it been for you?"

"Er... Since you left?"

"Yes!" Lucifer exclaims. "How long has it been since I left? You know, I really must get those clocks you get for different time zones. I can't keep losing track like this, it's embarrassing – I'm the King of Hell! Do you think they do them for years rather than hours? I –"

"Lucifer, slow down."

For a moment, she thinks he is going to protest – he draws himself up, straightens his cuffs again, tilts his head to look down at her defensively... Then abruptly seems to come back to himself, expression softening and having the grace to look slightly sheepish.

As she always does at moments like this, she thinks of how he would have reacted just a few years ago, and counts this seemingly minor change as a hard won victory.

It offers her scant comfort at the moment.

"Right," he murmurs. "First time in Hell. Of course."

"Do you mind telling me," Linda begins with what she thinks is admirable, if fragile, calm, "why you had Azrael drag me down here? You're lucky my mother had Charlie for the day, Lucifer!"

Lucifer mutters something that sounds suspiciously like 'forgot about Charlie'. She pretends not to notice.

"How long am I even safe here?"

"As long as you have the... Oh, right, no pendant."

Linda shoots him an 'are you serious' look, and he holds up his hands. "So, Azrael probably blessed you, yes? So you wouldn't boil like a lobster in a pot?"

"Is that why I feel like I've been out in the cold for hours? I thought that was the shock."

"Yes, I imagine so. I've never actually needed it myself, of course. Just think of it as friendly hypothermia. I'll top you up if it starts wearing off – just tell me if you start to feel flammable."

There's an awkward beat of silence as she digests this and tries to stay calm.

Lucifer is peering at her nervously. "Oh dear, have I broken you again?"

Linda shoots him The Look. "Lucifer, you have got to start thinking these things through! I mean, the amount of times one of your rash decisions has put me in danger..."

She thinks of Charlie, blissfully unaware of what is happening to her, safe at her mother's house for the day to give her breathing space after what had happened... And can't decide whether she wants to cry, or punch Lucifer in the face.

"Oh bloody hell," Lucifer mutters under his breath, for once correctly reading her expression. "Alright, I'll... think things through next time, I promise. But, in my defence, I had just left the love of my life topside and decided to become a therapist in Hell, of all places! I mean, that's never exactly happened to me before!"

"You mean you panicked."

"The Devil doesn't panic," Lucifer hisses, panicked.

Linda heaves a sigh. "Well, I suppose I'm here now. I might as well try to help, if I can."

"That's the spirit! Pun intended. Now, should I start with my daughter from the future making me promise to stay in Hell for an as-of-yet undetermined length of time, the difficulties of trying to convince demons to practice medicine, or the logistics of actually doing it? I mean, there are literally billions of souls down here, so I probably can't do it all by myself, but dare I trust demons with helping? Or should I have them continue the torture loops while I do the therapy speed dating style? Dromos might be able to dig out an egg timer, should I call him in?"

"No! No calling in demons with egg timers," she says, watching with relief as, for once, he listens and sits back down. "Let's start at the beginning. What did your promise to Rory involve?"

"Well, as she was being sucked off by the white light, she realised that me abandoning her – only I haven't abandoned her, she asked me to do it – led to her becoming who she was and me becoming who I was. Am. Er… will be? Anyway, apparently that's someone who enjoys going into hell loops and helping people break out of them. I mean," he scoffs, "I never would have seen that coming, but it all happened so fast, and I can't go back on my promise, Doctor, so now I have to stay in Hell until... until Chloe dies... Trying to help billions of damned souls. I..."

He trails off, eyes wide, now beyond fidgeting and carefully holding himself rigid instead, as though his emotions are threatening to tear him apart and he's too afraid to let them out. Now that she is slipping back into her normal role as a therapist and is in less imminent danger of a nervous breakdown (Hell. She's actually in Hell.), she takes in his appearance for the first time.

And is immediately glad that she came.

He looks exhausted, and suddenly Linda wonders how long it has been for him. For her it's been mere days, but if time moves more quickly down here... It would certainly explain how he has managed to become so worn down, how he has such dark circles under his eyes. His posture, although rigid, is exhausted, and defeat rolls off him in waves. She notices, absently, that he is still impeccably groomed, as though he cannot let himself be anything less than in control in this realm.

He takes a deep breath. "Do you know how many thousands of years it took me to win the demons to my side after my Fall? And how quickly they rose to rebellion during that whole Father Kinley debacle? And I have to stay here, alone, until Chloe... I have no idea how long that will be."

He looks up at her, eyes swimming. "I don't know if I have... If I have the strength to make it. Not again."

"Lucifer," she says gently, "it's ok to be afraid-"

"Afraid," he sputters, as if it's the understatement of the century. And perhaps it is. He reaches forward convulsively for a glass of water that isn't there in his copy of her office. "Of course I'm afraid! I'd be bloody insane if I wasn't! I need... guidance, Doctor. I don't know what to do."

"Well, I've never had to psychoanalyse billions of damned souls before, Lucifer, and I don't know the politics and history of Hell. So, I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask."

"But... Who else is there?"

"Amenadiel?"

Lucifer runs a hand through his hair, ruining it. "Well, that's just it. He's Amenigod now. Who's to say he won't decide he loves those mysterious ways? Or be too busy to help? Or he might not even care - he certainly hasn't come down here yet-"

"Amenadiel isn't your father, Lucifer. He said he was going to be more involved, and he has spent a lot of time on Earth learning how things work. He's spent a lot of time getting to know you again, too. Maybe he's just been giving you time, after what happened? Or is getting used to his new powers?"

"Well, that's just it, neither of us knows. And yes, he has become more involved, but that was before he assumed Dad's powers."

"Exactly, neither of us knows – the only way to find out is to ask. You've both moved beyond guessing games now, don't you think?"

Lucifer scoffs, but doesn't contradict her.

She smiles at him, relieved that she can at least relate to this and doesn't need to address the wider issue of managing Hell. "Talk to him. You're not banished from Heaven anymore, right? Did your promise to Rory say you couldn't go there?"

"No, we only discussed Earth and Hell. But the last time I went to Heaven, I burst into flame. The only thing that saved me was Lilith's ring and telling Chloe I loved her, and that's no longer an option. Besides, it's pretty common knowledge that me and Heaven weren't exactly a good mix."

"Well..." she flounders for a moment before an idea takes root in her mind. "It might not be your favourite place, but you should still be able to go, Lucifer. Just a few days ago, your conscious and subconscious mind worked together. You let yourself get shot to prove to Rory how much you love her."

"Yes..." Lucifer says slowly, some of the exhaustion lines on his face easing. "Yes, it's been so long, I... I had forgotten. I've been trying so hard since I came back here to keep things running and... And thinking myself into corners. How could I not think of that?"

"Survival mode can make it incredibly difficult to think clearly," she reminds him. "And you've been living on Earth for a long time, learning and growing. This... return... will have been more of a shock to the system."

He tries to laugh, the sound emerging more as a despondent sigh. "They were right, weren't they. During the Kinley Rebellion? I've gone soft. It was hard coming back then, and it's even harder now, when Chloe and I have been..."

He chokes off, unable to say it, the pain of leaving her clearly still raw. Linda leans forward slightly in her chair, trying to catch his eye from where he's started looking at the floor.

"You've got stronger, Lucifer, not weaker. You've spent years developing the tools and strategies you need to do this, don't just discount that."

He nods at the floor, and Linda hopes that means she's broken through. Knowing their time is limited, she decides to bring them back to the problem at hand.

"So, you do have a possible escape. A place to breathe that isn't Earth. And if you give Amenadiel a try, I think you'll find a great source of support and advice. Better than me, anyway."

"I wouldn't say that," Lucifer murmurs, looking slightly calmer, if still very troubled. "You always have ideas, even now."

"It does help when you sit down long enough to listen," she jokes.

He cracks a small, watery smile. "I suppose it does. Thank you, Doctor, as always."

She takes that as her cue to stand, moving over to the sofa and squeezing his shoulder. "Any time, Lucifer. Now... how the hell do I get back home?"

"Oh that's easy, I'll send a quick prayer to Azrael and she'll be here in a flash. She knows how important it is to get you back quickly, even if she took her time bringing you here. So you don't need to worry about that."

A thought occurs to her as they walk towards the door, and she stops. Lucifer turns to look at her, puzzled.

"Doctor? Not getting crispy, are you?"

"No, I was actually wondering… Can humans pray to Azrael? Will she hear? Or is it only God?"

"You can pray to any angel you like. Why?"

"Just in case I want to come back for a visit."

He looks so surprised that Linda wonders if he thinks she is joking. "Warmed up to Hell already, I see."

"How many thousands of years are you going to make Hell jokes?"

"You know me, I have incredible stamina and never run out of material."

"Of course you don't. Speak to Amenadiel, Lucifer. And maybe, if Azrael isn't too busy, I can come back for a visit."

Lucifer pauses, hand on the door handle, looking infinitely sad once more.

"Lucifer..."

He throws open the door before she can finish the thought, his Devil persona back in full force. Even the shadows under his eyes seem to melt into the darkness of Hell itself.

"Hell is no place for mortals. Well, not live ones. Too dangerous. Not to worry, Azrael will fix that."

"My King," a passing demon mutters reverentially.

Lucifer's eyes flick briefly to them in an aloof greeting, but Linda sees the tensing of his shoulders even if the demon doesn't.

"Ah, Azrael," Lucifer purrs, and Linda wrenches her gaze away from the demon. "Take the Good Doctor home, will you?"

Linda opens her mouth to say something - she doesn't know what – but Lucifer is already striding away, the very picture of confidence.