Chapter 10: Staying One Step Ahead of the Idiots
The next morning, after everybody left the Loud house, the friend of George's uncle snuck in. He wasn't gonna just any type of camera. It was one of the world's smallest cameras. So small that you couldn't see it at all except with a microscope. And it was wireless too. He installed several of them in places where the Louds wouldn't think to find cameras, not that they won't be able to find them to begin with. Once he finished setting them up, he turned them on using a tablet. The cameras were hooked so that the videos would be transmitted to the house of George's uncle. "So now what?" asked Harold.
"We wait to see if the cameras will catch glimpses of the real vandals," said Lincoln.
"And we'll bring able to prove to Lynndiot that you had nothing to do with the vandalism," said George.
After school, Lynn Jr. headed for the softball field. "I gotta get a new squirrel suit to put Lincoln in or else we'll face Luan's wrath when she gets home and we're contaminated with Stinkoln's bad luck for good," said Lynn Jr. She then went to the supply closet and saw a whole bunch of spare mascot suits. "Perfect. I'll just borrow one. Since they are so many of these, they probably aren't gonna notice," said Lynn Jr. She began to leave the place with the suit in tow.
"Where do you think you're going with that mascot suit?" asked a voice. Lynn Jr. turned and saw the voice belong to the coach. Lynn Jr.'s teammates were present too.
"I was just gonna take this laundromat to get this cleaned," lied Lynn Jr.
"Nice try. I know what you're really going to do with that. You're stealing that because you want to force your brother into it to use as a good luck charm," said the Coach.
"I'm not stealing. I'm borrowing," objected Lynn Jr.
"Gee, and I thought you disowned your brother," said Liam.
"But we have to get him back or else Luan will prank my family and I 24/7," said Lynn Jr.
"You don't want him back as a brother, you want him back as a good luck charm," said Margo.
"He's not an object. Lincoln is a human being with feelings," said Maddie.
"He doesn't deserve to be called Lincoln after the way be cost us those games with his bad luck! You should hate him and only call him Stinkoln too!" said Lynn Jr.
"It's that attitude toward him & disowning him as well as the way you treat us all is why the Pro Softball League is giving us a bad rap," said Paula.
"What?" asked Lynn Jr.
"There were people from the Pro Softball League who saw the game when your bad luck accusations started and the games up until the one where we were pranked. They're gonna exclude us from the pro league tournament unless a big change is made," said Liam.
"What change?" asked Lynn Jr.
"You. You must be removed from the team or they'll snub us from the tournament," said the Coach. Lynn Jr. was silent for a few seconds.
"You can't do this to me. I helped us put the team on the map. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SACRIFICED?!" yelled Lynn Jr.
"You're the reason why we may get snubbed out. They won't let us in unless you don't come with us. They don't want a girl who has a family who kicks their brother out just because they think he's bad luck, when he's not. They also don't tolerate how you forced your teammates to not use the bathroom until you win. It's bad for your health. And your anti bad luck rituals are nothing but utter nonsense," said the Coach.
"They're not nonsense! They were working until Stinkoln brought us bad luck!" said Lynn Jr.
"His name is Lincoln! LINCOLN!" yelled Maddie.
"I'm sorry, Lynn. You're out," said the Coach.
"No! No you can't kick me off! You need me! The Squirrels will always lose if I'm not around!" objected Lynn Jr. But suddenly, Lynn Jr.'s teammates began to hurl dodgeballs at Lynn Jr. She screamed as she ran out of the field for cover.
" . . . and after they said I was out, they threw dodgeballs at me!" complained Lynn Jr. to her family.
"That is not fair!" said Luna.
"It's Lincoln's fault, not yours!" said Lynn Sr.
"I know. And they had the gall to take Stinkoln's side! And now, we can't get access to the squirrel mascot costumes," said Lynn Jr.
"Don't worry. We can just buy some squirrels from the costume shop tomorrow. One of them should prove to be a good replacement for the one that got destroyed. We have to get Lincoln back in a new squirrel suit or else Luan will prank us for eternity," said Rita.
"And then we'll make my teammates take me back!" said Lynn Jr. Unfortunately for them, the cameras were recording what they were saying. George, Harold & their relatives and Lincoln were watching. Lincoln clinched his fists in anger.
"First they disowned me! But now they want me back just for the purpose of being used as a good luck charm again?! I'm not an object, I'm a living person with feelings! I am not going back into a stupid squirrel suit!" said Lincoln.
"Don't worry, we'll ensure that won't happen," said George's Uncle.
"What do we do?" asked George & Harold.
"I might have an idea," said Harold's Aunt.
That night, when all the Louds fell asleep, more vandals broke into the Loud House. They began to do the sane type of vandalism they did two days ago. And the cameras were recording everything. So the next morning, George, Harold and Lincoln watched the footage. "Now that we see who the vandals are, we can prove I had no involvement," said Lincoln.
"Now we just need to do our part to ensure you're not put in another squirrel suit," said George's Uncle.
"Sold out?! What do you mean they're all sold out?!" asked Lynn Jr.
"You heard me. Somebody dropped by the store this morning and bought all the squirrel costumes. Every single one. They won't be restocked for two months," said the Cashier. The Louds couldn't believe their ears. They went to other costume shops in town, but all their stock of squirrel costumes were bought too. And they couldn't buy any online cause they were impatient. As it turned out, the ones who bought all the squirrel costumes in town were George, Harold, their relatives and Lincoln. As for they were going to do with them. They were shredding them all using a wood chipper that belonged to a friend of the Hutchins. Squirrels went in, and shredded fabric and stuffing came out. Lincoln had the honor of stuffing them through the wood chipper. Lincoln let out a triumphant laugh.
"Man, this feels cathartic! Thanks for helping me get rid of these," said Lincoln.
"No problem," said Harold's Aunt.
"That should make your family get over that stupid bad luck paranoia hopefully," said George.
"If that doesn't, we just need to do more motivation," said Harold.
The next day, Luan and Lisa were frustrated when they heard that their family hadn't put Lincoln back in another squirrel suit. "They just can't do anything without us. They're not even trying," said Lisa.
"Yeah. Surely my threat would've motivated them. But apparently Lincoln's bad luck has already contaminated them. Good thing we left before it got us," said Luan.
"There's no such thing as bad luck," said a voice. It was Melvin Sneedly.
"And how would you know that?" asked Luan.
"Because it has been scientifically proven that superstitions like that are fake and illogical," said Melvin.
"You don't even know what happened back at home," said Luan.
"Try me," said Melvin.
"Our brother, Lincoln, the only boy in the family has proven to be bad luck because him just being caused Lynn Jr. to lose a softball game. Then other bad things happened. So we had to f . . . ," said Luan. But Lisa interrupted her, nudging her to make sure she leaves out the kicking out part.
"So, when we heard about the student exchange program, our parents sent us both to see if being out of town will prevent the bad luck from contaminating us," fibbed Luan.
"Bah! Pathetic. You joined the student exchange program just you think your brother is bad luck? You and your family are just wimps. Lisa, if you were a true science whiz like me, you should've used your knowledge to discredit Lynn Jr.'s claims of Lincoln being bad luck," said Melvin.
"You can't reason with her at times. When she wants something to go or said her way, she won't let anybody deter her. Not even her sisters, her brother or her parents," said Lisa.
"Then you live in a family of cowards. With your parents being the biggest cowards," said Melvin.
"You take that back, four eyes!" said Luan.
"Hey! I wear glasses too! Does that mean you're gonna call me four eyes too?!" asked Lisa.
"Umm . . . uh . . . ," stuttered Luan.
"She got you there. Since your brainy sister refuses to discredit the existence of bad luck, I will," said Melvin.
"And how and when do you plan to do that?" asked Luan. Melvin sneered at the two girls.
"I'm gonna to do an experiment to test thirteen of what people believe are the worst superstitions, at the gymnasium, tomorrow on Friday the 13th," said Melvin. Everybody gasped hearing Melvin's announcement, including the teachers.
"Are you nuts?! You'll get contaminated with bad luck that way!" said Luan.
"I bet I won't. Here's how my experiment is going to work. After I do those things that people believe causes bad luck tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can get through thirteen days without any bad luck happening to me during that time period. And if nothing happens to me after thirteen days have passed, then that will prove that bad luck and superstitions don't exist. And one more thing, don't try to pull off any pranks to make it look like bad luck is happening to me. If you do, I automatically win the bet," said Melvin. Luan growled in frustration.
"Fine. But I still think you're gonna contaminate yourself with bad luck for life that way," said Luan.
"We'll see about that," said Melvin.
"He what?!" asked Lynn Jr. as Luan & Lisa called their family on the video phone.
"You heard us. That Melvin kid is going to try to discredit the existence of bad luck by doing thirteen superstitions and waiting to see if nothing happens tomorrow," said Luan.
"And Luan isn't allowed to prank Melvin," said Lisa.
"This is bad! If his experiment succeeds, that means he'll get to say that I'm wrong about superstitions! And we'll be forced to let Stinkoln back in! I don't want to be viewed as wrong!" said Lynn Jr.
"But unfortunately, there's nothing we can do, except hope he does get affected by bad luck," said Luan.
"I hope he does get affected. It would serve him right for trying to challenge and defy my beliefs," said Lynn Jr.
George, Harold and Lincoln were hearing everything with the cameras. "Looks like Melvin is doing something good for a change," said George.
"I may not like him for being a tattletale brainiac, but I do admit he's got guts to do the experiment he is going to do tomorrow," said Harold.
"I hope he succeeds. Cause when he does, my family can drop that bad luck stupidity for good and let me back into the family and treat me with better respect," said Lincoln.
"One can hope," said Harold's Aunt.
Well, George and Harold are doing everything to ensure Linconln doesn't go back into a squirrel suit. Not to mention, Lynn Jr. has been kicked off the Royal Woods Squirrels. And Melvin is going to prove to Luan and Lisa that bad luck is nothing but hooey. Next chapter, Melvin begins the deadly experiment . . .