Monk Gyatso looked out of his window. Down below, Aang was helping one of the older monks repair the fence. Further down the hill, others his age were playing and socializing with one another.
Aang had always given his all to make everyone happy. It was almost supernatural how self-sacrificing he was. Some were frightened by his kind nature, while others took advantage of it to get what they wanted. Monk Gyatso knew that it was a rather sad life he led. Moreover, he was the Avatar. The world had been in turmoil for some time now, and the other elders agreed that it was best to reveal Aang's identity as the Avatar to him earlier than planned. The future looked anything but bright, especially if Aang continued to give away everything he had without leaving anything for himself.
Ever since he was born, he had behaved this way. When he was a toddler, he would get more upset when the other children got hurt than when he himself did. It was not uncommon for him to exhaust all his energy just to make others happy.
Aang held one of the planks while the older monk nailed it to the fence posts. It was an unusually hot day, making physical labor more unbearable than usual. The monk wiped the sweat from his forehead. "You really don't have to do this, you know," he panted.
Aang simply ran to get a handkerchief from his bag for him instead. It was almost as if he saw himself as a separate entity, like a kind ghost whose sole purpose was to make others' lives better. Aang saw only the other monk's exhaustion instead of realizing that he himself could have been with the other children, having fun.
Monk Gyatso walked over to them. "Aang, don't burn yourself out now, you still have a lot of training to do today," he advised him with concern.
Aang gave him a disappointed look. "Okay..." He turned to the other monk. "Sorry I can't help you with the rest of the planks," he sighed. Of course, he would blame himself as he always did. Monk Gyatso knew that things could not go on like this if Aang continued to be this way. If he continued to sacrifice himself like this. An Avatar should be strong and determined. As it stood, Aang seemed like a hopeless case. But Gyatso knew that giving up hope entirely wouldn't help.
The two of them went to join the other children who were about to begin their training. The teacher arrived after a while and nodded to the students and Monk Gyatso. He picked up the roll call sheet he had left on a nearby tree stump, only to realize that someone had scribbled over all the names on the list. "Who is responsible for this!?" he shouted. His patience was wearing thin from dealing with mischievous kids all day. Aang immediately raised his hand.
The teacher sighed. "I know it wasn't you, Aang," he said impatiently. One of the other students saw his chance to contribute to Aang's lie. "Yes, it was him! I saw it myself!" The teacher put his hand to his forehead. "Linzang!" he called, which was the name of the kid supporting Aang's lie. Aang's eyes widened, and he looked worriedly at the other kid. "Yes, it was me..." Linzang admitted shamefully. Anyone else would be glad he told the truth, but Aang only worried about the consequences of Linzang's behavior. Aang looked at him sadly. Unfortunately, Aang was a really bad liar, and the teachers usually saw through his lies right away.
One thing Aang was good at, however, was airbending. He had always been naturally adept at the element due to his passive nature. When it was time to practice, Aang mostly helped the teacher supervise the students and made sure everyone was doing it right.
Meanwhile, Monk Gyatso took the opportunity to check on the chasm. The other members of the elder council had decided that it would be his responsibility this week. Monk Gyatso stood on the wooden planks and pulled the rope. Slowly but surely, he descended deeper and deeper into the abyss. It became eerily cold, and he shivered from the chill. The ground became visible beneath him. He stepped off the lift and scanned the ground for the slightest crack. This was a very important task, and Gyatso took it very seriously. In the midst of it all, something caught his attention. A short distance away, a small crack was clearly visible in the ground. Monk Gyatso's jaw dropped. Desperate to inform the others of the imbalance, he hurried back up the lift, pulling the rope faster than ever before. He had never seen anything like it in his long life. The elements were showing signs of imbalance, and if nothing was done, the underworld might rise to the darker realms of the living world.
As fast as he could, he rushed to the other members of the elder council. "I noticed a crack in the abyss! The current state of the world is unsustainable!" he warned. The others in the council looked at each other in fear. "All my life, I believed this would never happen… Something big is about to occur, and I don't like it. We must get this information out to the other nations immediately if we want to have any future left," urged Monk Tashi.
Aang was still blissfully unaware of their new concerns. He was in the middle of helping the teacher clean up after the lesson. "Aang!" someone suddenly shouted. When Aang turned around, he was met by Monk Tashi. "It's time we reveal something to you," he said. Aang tilted his head. "Come now, we don't have all day," Tashi said, grabbing Aang by the wrist. Aang followed him up to the others in the elder council.
Monk Gyatso took a deep breath. "You are the Avatar," he finally revealed. "A-Ava…? Am I…?" Aang asked breathlessly. "The balance is in danger. Something big is coming, maybe even a war," Monk Pasang explained urgently. Aang was devastated. He could never believe that he was the Avatar. He felt inadequate. "Are you really sure it's me...?" he asked. "Your childhood toys told us. Avatars have been discovered this way for thousands of years," Monk Tashi explained indifferently.
Aang didn't want to believe it. He knew he didn't have what it took to be the Avatar. He could barely keep balance in his own mind. Aang couldn't help but shed a tear. "Stop crying, this is serious. You must start your training in the other elements immediately if you want to have a world left to keep in balance at all," Monk Tashi said coldly. Monk Gyatso glared at him. Sometimes Tashi could be a bit too blunt, but Gyatso couldn't deny that what he said was true. Aang really had a lot to learn if he wanted to save anything. Aang quickly wiped away his tears and nodded. "You can do this, Aang. We believe in you," Gyatso encouraged. "You can do it if you stop treating yourself like a bowl of food that people are free to take from. If you want to have a chance at maintaining balance in the world, you need to straighten up. You need to stop neglecting your own well-being to help others now," Monk Tashi explained. He was tired of sugarcoating his words. He knew that Aang had to face the truth sooner or later.
From that day on, things were never the same again. Rumors spread rapidly, and before anyone knew it, everyone in the temple knew of Aang's identity as the Avatar. Many found it amusing; Aang wasn't the only one who saw himself as inadequate. The others his age imagined a brave and wise decision-maker when they thought of an Avatar. Aang didn't meet any of those criteria. The adults were constantly on him about how he needed to change. The truth was that it wasn't so easy for him. He had neglected himself his entire life. To him, it was almost as if he didn't exist to begin with. He had no desires; he just wanted everyone around him to be happy. Night after night, he had nightmares. Nightmares about not having what it took. He cried himself to sleep every night.
One night, Monk Gyatso came and knocked on his bedroom door. Aang opened it. "Aang, I heard they needed help gathering the vegetables in the garden before they rot. Would you be willing to lend me a hand?" he asked. Aang smiled and nodded. The two of them set off to the garden. "Aang, I need to tell you something," Monk Gyatso said when they arrived. "What is it?" Aang asked, tilting his head to the side. "Aang, sometimes it's important to think about yourself now and then." Aang teared up. "I can't! I can't think about myself! I can't love myself!" Monk Gyatso sighed. He expected nothing else. He had known Aang since he was four. He really didn't know what to do. "Y-you don't think I'm angry with you, do you? It's myself I'm angry with, not you," Aang said worriedly. Monk Gyatso just sighed and went back to gathering the vegetables. This must have been the first time in his life that he really didn't know what to do.
At a meal one day, another kid said, "Since you're doing so poorly as the Avatar, maybe it would be best if you killed yourself and made room for a new Avatar, right?" It was obvious the other kid meant it as a distasteful, dark joke. But Aang took it deadly seriously. Everything suddenly became so clear. A weakling like him would never be able to be the Avatar. The truth is, a weakling like him shouldn't exist at all. Aang had always been on the brink of suicide. He had always been unsure if he gave more than he took. And after being reminded of that, Aang felt that it would bring more positivity if a new Avatar were born to take his place. He was only worried that his loved ones would be sad and think they were the reason for his death. So he decided to write a note. For the first time in his life, he felt hope. He also felt disgusted that he hadn't thought of this earlier.
Late one night, he stayed up and wrote a note addressed to Monk Gyatso and his parents, assuring them that this was the right decision and emphasizing how grateful he had been for their presence. Then he went outside. It was dark, and storm clouds were gathering. He climbed onto Appa and gave him a big hug. Despite his situation, he still had a smile on his face. Finally, everything would be resolved. "Appa, yip yip!" he cried and flew off on Appa through the damp air. He wanted to get as far away from everyone else as possible so that no one would have to witness his passing.
A single raindrop landed on his crown and slowly ran down the blue arrow on his head. It wasn't long before he was surrounded by rain. The storm was much stronger than expected. He got chills when a lightning bolt struck nearby. Yet again, he had made a foolish decision. Now he had put both himself and Appa in immense danger. Desperate to give Appa a chance to fly away, he threw himself into the sea. Appa, his lifelong companion, followed him, and the two sank down towards the ocean floor. Aang felt powerless until the Avatar State suddenly kicked in. He didn't know what was happening, but suddenly he airbent a bubble for himself and Appa. Unfortunately, the bubble quickly turned to ice.
Notes:
Thank you for reading my fic! I'd love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to share any feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. I understand that this version of Aang might come across as a bit frustrating or annoying, so if you'd still like to see another chapter, please let me know. That's all from me. Author, out!