The moon lit up the dark night, rising among the thicket of pine trees. Snow had fallen across the Testaburger yard. Wendy looked up from her desk, from out the window she caught a glimpse of the moon. It was full tonight and looked almost yellow as it loomed above the snow capped mountains. Below the ground looked pure and untouched as more snow fell. Snow was never out of the ordinary in chilly South Park, Colorado. But after the events of the day, Wendy took notice of the snowfall from her bedroom window.
It was always so quiet when it snowed, like the ambient sounds of nature silenced in respect of the snow falling. That it would fall in tiny flakes and build up, the footprints and tire tracks buried and made anew. Smooth, white, and clean. If only friendships and relationships could be smoothed over just as easily.
Wendy was still in shock from that evening. Her clothes and jacket were in the wash and she was freshly showered. Cleaning off Stan's puke stains would be an everyday thing once again. Stan. Wendy felt her heart swell at the thought of him. He really helped her solve the problems with the list conspiracy. Her whole world had crumbled and she wasn't even sure her friendship with Bebe would recover.
Tears filled Wendy's eyes but she blinked them back and the melancholy feeling was replaced with anger. How dare Bebe sacrifice her own credibility for some dumb shoes? Wendy liked shoes and clothes as much as the next girl, but to mislead and lie to get what you want? Wendy was so angry with Bebe. People could've gotten hurt, people did get hurt. Wendy had been hurt.
She looked down at the ice pack on her knee and scrapes along her side. She and Bebe went full fistfight mode before the gun went off. It had shocked them both as Wendy heard her name shrieked by Stan in the cold night. She quickly checked herself for wounds, Bebe was also okay, no one of importance hurt. But her best friend's betrayal, Wendy hoped Bebe would think that over while she spent the night in jail.
Her phone lit up showing a text from Rebecca "Red" McAurthur.
You're being summoned to the list making committee tomorrow after school.
Wendy cringed. She still was waiting on an apology from Bebe, whenever she got out of jail. Her fingers flew typing up a response before her brain could register the impulsive response.
Forget it. I quit.
She stared at her phone, holding her breath for a response. She was sure Red was talking about her with the other girls, them gossiping and picking apart her blunt words and even worse actions.
After a moment another message from Red popped up.
No choice, still need you to come in.
The list committee had been the brainchild of a summertime sleepover. A small activity of listing the cutest singers, that soon turned into an official notebook of putting lists together, held securely by Nelly. Then they discovered the underground maintenance room long abandoned, perfect place to hold their meetings. So with Bebe as the leader, the girls got to work turning the cavern under the bathroom into their own Congress. Lola and Jenny taking the vice president and speaker of the list committee roles with Red as the minority speaker. Wendy was happy to have her voice heard and helped organize the rules. How list items were to be brought up before the committee. One thing she prided herself on was how truthful and fair the lists were.
Wendy smoothed down her pajamas as she continued to stare out at the softly falling snow outside. The tire tracks and foot steps during the day smoothed over as if it never happened. If only it was that easy for friendships. Wendy grabbed a shopping bag she had tossed in the corner of her room, pulling out a shoebox and slipping on some blue and white strappy sandals. They were quite beautiful and she was lucky she and Bebe shared a shoe size. But these shoes were best saved for a special occasion. Might as well wear them when she confronted the list committee tomorrow.
The school day passed by quickly, mostly the drama that happened the night before went unnoticed by the students and staff. Wendy kept mostly to herself, feeling shunned by the girls table and Bebe being absent. she seeked refuge by hanging out with Stan at recess.
"Hey, Wendy? Can I talk to you?" Stan asked. He looked at her with his hands in his pockets, Wendy always found that endearing along with his pretty blue eyes, dimples, and slightly wavy black hair poking out of his red poofball hat.
"Sure Stan, what's up?" Wendy asked, making sure to stay out of the line of fire if he was going to throw up on her again.
"Kyle and I need help hiding and throwing away all the evidence from him trying to burn down the school. The less people know the better, right?" Stan said as he walked around the playground with her.
"Sure I can help with that. Whatever you need, Stan." Wendy could feel the eyes of her friends in her back like daggers, worried about the rumors being spread. "Not sure how much privacy I can offer." She stopped and made a gesture with her shoulders to the girls sitting on the jungle gym who quickly looked away and went back to whispering and giggling.
"Okay, maybe just distract them while Kyle and I throw everything away. Or maybe wait until after school to get rid of the evidence." Stan said quickly as he scanned the playground for prying eyes.
"I will. Don't worry." Wendy stopped walking and looked down at the shoes she took from Bebe, the sparkly blue and silver crunching on the snow, making them as blemished and messy as her relationships.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and before she could react, Stan leaned in and gave her a kiss on the mouth. It was quick and chaste, and his cheeks bulged as his lunch came up. Wendy moved so he could barf on the ground and not on her new shoes as she felt her heart flutter. "Aw, Stan you're getting better. Thank you." She gave him a little hug.
"Sorry." Stan said as he wiped his mouth, putting an arm around her to return the hug.
"No, it's okay. This was the best part of my day, I already know I'm going to have a hard time after school." Wendy looked back to her friends watching and whispering, to the puddle of puke at Stan's feet. "You know it's going to be a shitty day if my highlight is getting puked on." She said as she stepped back, not wanting to get barf on Bebe's shoes.
By the end of the day, the fabulous blue shoes were rubbing on the back of Wendy's heel and on the toe. Figures these cursed shoes would be fighting back as she went about her day. She held her head high as she walked to the playground with the secret room where the list committee held their meetings, like a firing squad was against her. She felt like she didn't have a single friend left in the world, except for Stan.
Wendy entered the girl's bathroom and moved her hand along the wall until she found the trap door under the sink. It was put there for a maintenance person to work on the pipes under the playground restrooms. When the girls discovered the little nook, it was filled with dust and long forgotten. So they spruced it up, painted the walls pink, set up their desks with accessories, and hung posters of their favorite celebrities.
As Wendy descended the ladder down to the list committee's headquarters she noticed it was dark. She shivered, as if realizing for the first time they were underground and buried by snow. If the other girls wanted to jump her she would be on her own. She hardly fought someone with fists but she didn't let people fuck with her and she dared them to try. She'd fight with everything she had.
Suddenly as Wendy held a fighting stance, the lights flicked on as she was faced with Bebe sitting in her seat at the head of the list committee. Lola and Jenny sitting at her sides. Red kicked back in her chair, feet on the desk. But the rest of the committee was missing.
"Bebe…what's going on?" Wendy asked, suddenly self conscious of the shoes she was wearing. She dare not move and give her vulnerability away.
Bebe stood from her seat and moved forward to Wendy. "Do you know how it feels to spend the night in jail over something you didn't do?"
"You jeopardized the list for shoes! You held a gun on me! I can't be okay with that. You deserved the night in jail." Wendy started.
"You called the cops on me? Some best friend. You can't say you don't care about shoes if you're wearing them!" Bebe pointed to Wendy's feet.
"I agree, this isn't how best friends act. I don't know what to do to make it better." Wendy said, her eyes brimming with tears, she was never one to back down from a fight but she couldn't forgive Bebe so easily this time.
Bebe circled Wendy as the other girls looked on, Wendy bracing herself in case Bebe was going to fight her again. "I don't know if things can get better, but you can try."
"How?" Wendy asked, guarding herself just in case.
"Are you really going to quit the list committee?" Bebe asked as she stopped walking to face Wendy head on.
"Yes…I'm so disillusioned with it. It won't be fun anymore. I'm sorry." Wendy said softly.
"Fine, I hereby relieve you of your list committee position." Bebe snapped her fingers, much like a fairy godmother of taking away extracurricular activities would be.
But there was no change, the shoes on Wendy's feet didn't turn into ruby slippers. It was just plain real life. "So that's it?" Wendy said, her voice thick with tears.
"Consider your position in the list making club terminated." Bebe said coldly. She held out her hand. "Your official list making supplies please."
Wendy grumbled but pulled out a sparkly purple pen with a heart charm at the end and placed it into Bebe's hand. "What about our friendship?" She asked.
Bebe looked at the other list making girls, Lola looked at her shoes while Jenny shifted uncomfortably. Bebe shook her head as she put the pen on her desk. "I need some time, go hang out with your boyfriend if you're lonely."
A few snickers from the other girls. Wendy's face reddened before she climbed up the ladder and away from the girl's secret meeting place. She ran out of the girls bathroom and through the playground. Blinded by the hot flurry of tears she wasn't sure where to go. Her former friends said run to Stan, but she wasn't even sure where he was.
She sighed, defeated, and decided to go home.
Wendy hated herself at this moment. She worried she had lost her best friend and her social group. She always wanted to do the right thing and stand up to them, but a small voice in the back of her head was making her retreat. She hated that part of her.
She stepped into the front foyer of her house and stomped the snow off her boots. She shook the stray snowflakes off her coat and out of her hair.
"Yes and you can call me back if needed, my name is Alexandra Testaburger, but you can call me Alexis."
Wendy saw the closed door to her mom's home office and knew to be quiet. Her mom probably didn't go into her job at the City Planner's office due to the storm and was working from home.
She flopped onto the living room sofa and reached for the blanket that was over the back of it and the remote. Her hand smoothed down the well worn fabric that was knitted by her own grandmother, Elizabeth. Wendy's eyes flicked to the picture on the wall of the photo of Wendy with her grandma taken just before she died. It was hard for Wendy to witness her grandfather collapse and die in front of her at six years old and the news of her grandmother dying at the beginning of third grade. Wendy blinked back tears, both her parents were hardworking and wrapped up in their careers. So Wendy spent a lot of time with her grandparents when she was younger. If grandma Eliza were still here she would for sure be hugging Wendy and making her a cup of hot cocoa and cookies. Wendy wrapped her grandmother's blanket around herself and let herself finally break down and cry over her terrible day.
Wendy heard something jump up on the couch with her. It was her sweet ragdoll cat named Charlotte. She had been the size of Wendy's hand when she first got her from her parents on her seventh birthday. Charlotte was white with a little gray on her nose. Now a year and a half later she was quite large, most of it being floof and the gray nose had spread to a dark face and paws. Maybe darkness had spread in Wendy as well. These days she was always messing things up, even when she meant to do the right thing. At this moment she wanted to give up, she felt her friendship with Bebe was over.
Tears continued to stream from Wendy's eyes as she pet Charlotte on her lap. Her kitty gave supporting purrs and head butts as Wendy looked into her innocent blue eyes. People and creatures with blue eyes always had a hold over her.
The door to her mom's office opened up and Wendy tried to hold her composure as her mom came to sit down next to her.
"Oh Wendy, I didn't see you come in." Alexis stopped when she saw her daughter had been crying. "What's wrong, sweetie?"
Wendy froze, sniffing as she took the Kleenex her mother offered her and wiped her nose and eyes. "Bebe and I had a fight." She didn't add the fight involved wrestling for a gun.
"Oh I'm so sorry, let me make us a cup of tea and you can tell me everything." Alexis got up and went into the kitchen to get the kettle boiling.
Wendy wrapped her grandmother's blanket around her shoulders as she followed her mom into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, curling her knees under her. Charlotte followed and meowed support as she sat under Wendy's chair. The past few days events reeling through her head. It was hard to open up to her mom, feeling weird how she was being fawned over once she broke down. She wiped her cheek and took a deep breath.
"I'm back together with Stan." She finally said.
Wendy's mom hesitated as her hand reached for the cookie jar. "Which little boy was that again? The black one?"
"No." Wendy scoffed. "The one with black hair and blue eyes. Plays sports, has a dog."
"I don't know if I remember him." Alexis says as she reached around the cabinets to grab the sugar bowl.
Wendy rolled her eyes. "The one who would always throw up on me."
"Oh that boy. I certainly remember him when I would do your laundry. Oh, Wendy." Alexis shook her head as the kettle whistled and she went to shut it off.
Wendy shut her mouth and said no more. Of course her mother wouldn't get it. Her family lived and swore by always doing the right thing, but when needed Wendy wouldn't get the actual support she needed from either of her parents. It wasn't like she was neglected or abused, just it seemed either of her parents could connect to her on a level she needed. They were always busy with their own stuff.
Maybe no one could reach her, Wendy hated how she was always misunderstood. Perceived as a cold uncaring bitch when she just wanted the best for herself and the world around her. Maybe her mom was feeling a similar way, with her work being put on hold to share a cup of tea with her daughter. But Wendy didn't feel she could open up all the way to her mom.
Maybe she should ask for a therapist.
Alexis finished up setting tea and snacks on a tray and turned around holding it. "Why don't we go into the living room?"
Wendy sniffed and nodded before she caught sight of what was on the tea tray. Before Wendy could react the water works started up again.
"Wendy Elizabeth Testaburger what has gotten into you?" Alexis' voice raised in alarm, she quickly set the tea tray down in front of her daughter.
"That's grandma Eliza's teapot?" Wendy said through the waterfall of tears.
"Yes, it is. I figured since you had the blanket she made around you it would make you feel better." Alexis continued.
"You don't understand me at all, only she did." Wendy threw down the blanket and ran up the stairs two at a time. Slamming the door to her bedroom, Wendy flung herself onto her bed.
She cried for a few minutes, the house quiet once again except for the sounds of her sobs. Her mom probably went back to work. There was a scratch and meow at her door and Wendy got up and wiped her eyes to let Charlotte in. She picked up the fluffy kitty and sat back down on her bed, petting Charlotte absentmindedly as she thought.
"This is so embarrassing." She finally said, looking down at Charlotte. "I'm sick of drama but I'm causing more of it."
Charlotte sat daintily on Wendy's lap and started to make biscuits. Wendy couldn't help but smile as she reached for a Kleenex to wipe her nose.
When she felt at her worst and most insecure moments, it was Bebe who usually set her back to equilibrium. She thought back to the last time she had a fight with Bebe, she ended up with unnecessary breast implants and the boys at school laughing at her- Stan included. Along with her parents being disappointed.
Bebe had been the one to help her through the procedure to remove the implants and the recovery after. Her own mother was upset with her for doing that, so Bebe had been the one she could depend on. Make sure she didn't fall victim once again to her impulsive tendencies.
"I need my best friend back." She looked down determined at her cat in her lap. She grabbed her phone to send a text to Bebe.
Even if I can't make lists anymore, I want to save the friendship.
She waited for a response, petting Charlotte to keep her nervous hands busy.
Finally her phone lit up and she saw Bebe's response.
Mall. Tomorrow after school. You're buying.
Bebe held her head high all the next day at school. Wendy would try to get her attention but Bebe spent the day coolly ignoring her. The other girls would sneak glances but kept their distance. Wendy dreaded whatever showdown Bebe had planned at the mall and wondered if she would end up throwing hands once again.
Wendy stepped through the doors to the South Park Mall, the energy of the place radiating warmth on her from the cold outside. The smells of cinnamon rolls baking, French fries being served, perfume and makeup counters, racks of clothes for miles, and the smell of brand new in box shoes. Especially the damn shoes.
She found the boba shop where she was to meet Bebe and looked over at the options. It was a trendy new place that had little booths, each decorated differently. It was meant for friends to gather and take selfies with their colorful boba drinks. It made Wendy sad since that would be something she would like to do with her (former?) best friend.
"Can I get you something?" The woman behind the counter asked.
Wendy studied the menu before making her decision. "Jasmine milk tea with boba. Thank you."
She turned around and was face to face with Bebe behind her.
"Hi." Bebe said flatly before she ordered a passion fruit tea with crystal boba. "You're paying, right?"
"Guess I am." Wendy said indignantly before she handed some cash over to the woman as she started to make their drinks.
Bebe hung back, her posture stiff as she eyed the booths for them to sit. Wendy took her time, considering. Pink, purple, yellow, blue. She finally chose the cream colored booth decorated with pastel roses and pearls. It suited this discussion, it was a neutral color palette.
Wendy took a seat in the booth across from Bebe, looking at the decor, worried they would ruin this restaurant with a fight when all she wanted was her best friend back. They should be taking selfies, not arguing.
The two girls sat in silence for a few tense moments as they waited for their boba. Finally Wendy couldn't bear it anymore. "I think you owe me an apology."
"For what?" Bebe scoffed.
Wendy's hands bunched up a napkin. "For everything! Forging the list. Kicking me out of the committee. Trying to kill me! How could you, Bebe?"
Bebe put her head down, not meeting Wendy's death glare. Wendy gritted her teeth for any answer.
"All for shoes, Bebe? You really want to throw this friendship away for shoes?" Wendy continued to rage.
Finally Bebe raised a hand, Wendy was ready if she was about to slap her but Bebe's words cut across. "Stop. Please. I don't want to ruin our friendship either. I feel like…you narced on me."
"Narced? How could you accuse me of that?" Wendy's voice pierced through the otherwise calm restaurant, drawing a few stares of other patrons.
"I wasn't trying to kill you, just held the gun on you and your boyfriend to get you to back off. How do you think I feel? Spent the night in jail, my parents are furious with me. It took a lot for them to let me out of the house so we could meet." Bebe sat back in the booth and crossed her arms.
"You still held a gun on me and Stan." Wendy shot back. Across the calm cafe the woman behind the counter called Wendy's order number.
Wendy still sat stiffly, daring for Bebe to make her do more. Bebe rolled her eyes, her exaggerated sigh enough to get more stares as she got up to get their drinks. A moment later she slammed Wendy's jasmine boba in front of her. "Enjoy." Bebe said snidely.
"Hey, watch it." Wendy shut her eyes and took a deep breath in, she could be the bigger person. "Bebe, I want to put our differences aside and be best friends again. I hate fighting with you."
Bebe took a minute to stab the straw through the top of her passion fruit and take a long drink. She mulled Wendy's words over in her head. Finally she spoke.
"I miss you, I'm still upset but I can forgive. I want to be friends too, even with all that's happened."
Wendy felt her anger still radiating, she looked at the cup of boba in her hands. She hadn't yet pierced the film clinging to the top. She felt the drops of condensation going over her hands.
"Besides, it's better for my sanity and health if we're friends rather than enemies. I'd hate to be someone you hate…they don't end up so well." Bebe chuckled uneasily and took a sip, her cheeks flushed as pink as her drink. "I'm sorry, Wendy."
Wendy let out a deep breath. "Yes, I want to repair our friendship. Thank you for that. I'm sorry too, Bebe." She finally picked up her straw and pierced it through the top of her boba and leaned in to take a drink.
It was the best tasting thing she'd had in a while.
Later, Bebe and Wendy strolled through the mall, both girls getting more comfortable as they window shopped.
"I would do it." Bebe declared.
"I don't know if Claire's would even do that, with or without your mom's permission." Wendy said as she sipped her drink.
"I'd look totally hot with a belly button ring. Just one thing holding me back." Bebe stopped walking and peered at the storefront display.
"That you're ten years old and your parents would kill you?" Wendy smiled as she admired the dress in the window.
"No, my mom would probably want to get one as well…" Bebe rolled her eyes. "But no piercings allowed other than ears to play sports at school."
"Oh?" Wendy was intrigued. "What sport did you want to play?" Wendy couldn't imagine Bebe on the softball team or in track, but she also couldn't imagine Bebe holding a gun on her until last night.
"Cheerleading. I just got on the squad and want to work hard and look good. Practices are on Tuesdays and Thursdays." Bebe eyed Wendy now.
"Cheerleading?" Wendy scoffed before she changed her tone. "Sorry it just seems a little sexist to cheer for the boys' sports."
"It's not just that. It's a fun sport where you do flips, wear cute skirts and bows, fly, and be on top of the pyramid. At least I want to be." Bebe's eyes glittered as she dreamed about being the cutest cheerleader for all to see.
"Oh, I'm glad it makes you happy." Wendy looked down, she was disillusioned from wanting to make lists. But she still wanted to do an activity with Bebe. Was she really going to ask this? "So is there still room on the cheerleading squad?"
Bebe finished her boba and tossed it in a nearby trash can. "Why? Did you want to try out, Wendy?"
Wendy blinked a few times, putting the straw in her mouth to mull it over and savor the last bits of her drink. "Maybe I do. I quit the list committee but I'm still class president. Could I even be a good cheerleader?"
"I understand if it's not your thing." Bebe walked a few steps ahead of her.
"No, wait I mean, so the tryout is Thursday?" Wendy took a deep breath before she took the plunge. "I'll be there. I want to try out for cheerleading."