Chapter 10

1st September

By some miracle, Michael was able to get a few hours of sleep. He was even up before Nikita. He decided to let her rest. They weren't in a rush and it was still pretty early and they had had a late night. He took care of Archie and cleaned up from their dinner last night. It didn't take him long to sort everything out but his wife was still asleep. He decided to do some work in their study. He could answer a few emails and finish his coffee until it was time to wake her up. As soon as Michael opened his laptop though he deeply regretted it.

Dear Michael,

I am deeply sorry for the misunderstanding that occurred yesterday. We meant no harm, I assure you. We only wanted to confirm that Nikita had arrived back home safely. I promise you there won't be any more of those incidents.

Hope everything went well last night. We are eagerly awaiting your update!

We are here if you need anything. Please don't hesitate to reach out.

Best regards,

Brian Miller

"Go to hell" Michael mumbled. He couldn't believe this guy. It hadn't even been 24 hours since Nikita had come back home. If he was already expecting an update that meant that for the next few days, Michael was going to be bombarded with calls and emails unless he replied. He was set on not telling Nikita until their doctor's appointment tomorrow. Until then he had to hold down the fort.

"You didn't wake me up" Michael jumped and nearly fell out of his chair. He had been so in his head that he hadn't heard Nikita coming in "Jesus, it's just me. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah" Michael tried to laugh it off. "Guess the coffee hasn't kicked in yet. How'd you sleep?"

"I think I should be asking you that" Nikita could tell Michael had barely slept. The way he jumped when she walked in only proved how exhausted he was. She was starting to get worried. Something was different about him. She just couldn't put her finger on it.

"I managed to get a few hours in. You know I don't need much sleep" That was the least of his problems. Nikita nodded. She thought about pressing more but decided to leave it for later.

"I thought you would wake me up" They had to go to the hospital.

"We have plenty of time. I even have an idea. How about we get ready, jump in the car, do the tests and then go get breakfast" Michael knew how much Nikita hated hospitals so he thought of something nice to do after that. She would have something fun to look forward to.

"Okay but I am choosing where"

"How can I say no to my gorgeous, amazing pregnant wife" Michael slowly walked towards her and as he finished his sentence he rushed to kiss her. Nikita giggled through the kiss. Their excitement hadn't died down one bit. Michael tried to focus on that. He wouldn't let anyone or anything ruin this moment for them. "I love you so much" He whispered over her lips.

"I love you" She kissed him back and stayed in his arms for a few more moments. "Shower?" Nikita excitedly asked him and pulled him towards the stairs. Michael followed without any protest and halfway to the stairs picked her up and carried her to their room. Their fun was, however, cut short by his phone ringing.

"Who the hell is calling so early?" Honestly, Nikita was more annoyed at the interruption of their moment than the hour of the call. She wanted her husband all to herself at least for a few days.

"It's probably something from work. Go get in. I'll be a sec"

Nikita groaned, annoyed and stomped over to their bathroom. Michael laughed hard. She was so goofy and dramatic at times. He absolutely loved it.

When he reached for his phone though all the laughter disappeared from him. He couldn't catch a fucking break. Brian Miller was already starting to call him. Michael thought that he would have at least a few days before the detective would start blowing up his phone. There was no way he would be able to hide all these phone calls from Nikita. He had to do something. The only thing he could think of fast was to block the number. If Brian Miller wanted to talk he could email Michael.

"Who is it?" Nikita yelled from the bathroom as she was running the shower. She couldn't hear Michael talking to anyone.

"Work. They can just text me. Not in the mood to deal with it right now" Michael quickly came up with a simple answer that wouldn't raise any questions.

"Come here then"

Michael took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. Everything is okay. Just take care of her today. She doesn't need the stress.

He walked into the bathroom and did just that. He made her smile and laugh. He showered her with so much love. He was going to protect her from everything.

"Do you have hot chocolate?" Nikita asked the waitress. Michael shot her a weird look. He had only seen Nikita drink hot chocolate during winter.

"Yeah we do"

"I'll have that to drink. Thank you" When the waitress walked away Nikita noticed Michael's face. "What?"

"Since when do you drink hot chocolate on a random day"

"Since throwing up from coffee the last three times I drank it" Nikita huffed annoyed. She loved coffee but just the thought of it right now was vile.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have gotten one if you told me"

"No, it's fine. It doesn't bother me if someone else is drinking it" Nikita appreciated the support but luckily her stomach wasn't that weak and could handle the smell.

"What else has been a problem?"

"There hasn't been anything in particular. Just no weird combinations or too many flavours at once. Cereal and crackers have been awesome or like a fresh salad."

"So more salty things?"

"Yeah. The only sweet thing I like right now is hot chocolate and it has to be in the morning. On the last day in Greece, I had a cup in the afternoon and I felt really nauseous afterwards"

Michael listened intently with a soft smile. Everything was so unreal. Like he was dreaming. Even after they went to the hospital this morning to do the tests he still couldn't believe it.

"Are you craving anything yet?" He was so ready to spoil her so much.

"Isn't it a little too early for that?" Nikita hadn't gotten used to the fact that she is pregnant right now let alone start to pay attention to these things.

"I don't think so. Doesn't matter. Whatever you want you shall get"

"Even if it's at 3 o'clock in the morning?" Nikita teased. She was sure of his answer. Even if she weren't pregnant if Nikita asked him to get her something in the middle of the night he would do it.

"Especially if it is 3 o'clock in the morning" Michael gave her his crooked smile and she melted. "Aww"

Unfortunately, the waitress interrupted their cute moment by bringing their food. They weren't too mad about it. The couple was starving. "Gonna run to the bathroom really quickly. Wait for me"

"You have 10 seconds" Michael joked. Of course, he was going to wait for her.

"Get your timer out" Nikita didn't hold back and teased as she headed for the bathroom.

Michael stared after her with a smile. It was such a good day. Nikita's phone ringing got Michael out of his musings. It was Alex. She was trying to FaceTime Nikita. Michael went ahead and picked up.

"Hi, Alex"

"Oh, Uhm, hi. What's up?" Alex stuttered. She didn't expect Michael to pick up.

Michael laughed at her failed attempt to act chill "It's okay. I know"

"You know what?" Alex was playing it very safe. There was no way she was going to ruin such a moment for her best friends.

"What do you mean what? That you are moving over here. We are very excited" Michael decided to have some fun with Alex.

"What? What are you talking about?" Alex was so confused.

"Stop it" Nikita overheard the conversation as she was coming back to their table. She slid over in their booth next to Michael so she could talk to Alex. "I told him last night"

"Jesus, you want to give me a fucking heart attack" Alex huffed annoyed.

Michael couldn't stop laughing. Nikita desperately tried not to join him but she couldn't help herself.

"You guys are mean"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry" Michael decided to leave her be for now.

"I just wanted to call and say congratulations and you do this to me"

"In my defense, you called before knowing if I knew or not"

"Uhh, I couldn't just send a text"

"Enough you two. I want to eat in peace" They could continue their banter later. Nikita had a warm delicious breakfast waiting for her.

"Anyway, how are you? What did your doctor say?"

"The appointment is tomorrow. Nik only did some tests this morning"

"Oh" Alex must have gotten the dates mixed up. "Okay, so you are calling me tomorrow right after your appointment"

"Hey, everything will be fine. What's all the worry about?" Michael understood Alex's concern to an extent but there was something else. She wasn't the panic type. There was a reason behind all this worry.

"Have you told him about-"

"Alex-"

"No, no. What's this about?" Michael interrupted Nikita and motioned to Alex to speak. Alex struggled to speak again and looked at Nikita for help.

"It's not a big deal and it's not related to the pregnancy" Nikita tried to reassure Michael.

"Okay, but obviously there is something. I want to know what" Michael wasn't going to give up. He was getting more worried by the second. Nikita had told him that she was okay. Was that not true?

"I fainted but before you freak out that was only because of my panic attack"

"I don't think so" Alex mumbled. Nikita shot her an angry look. "What? You haven't fainted before from your anxiety, right?"

"Yeah, you haven't" Michael confirmed. Nikita sighed and looked down at her plate. "Okay, it's fine. We'll run it by the doctor and see." Michael wanted to get out of this awkward tense situation that had formed. He was going to talk to Nikita later when they were alone. He ran his hand on her back to help her relax.

"Alexandra" Someone yelling on Alex's end distracted the three of them. "That's mom. I gotta go. Call me later, okay?" Alex didn't want to leave like that but she needed to go.

"We will. Don't worry" The call ended. Nikita sat still and stared somewhere in the distance. "Baby, it's okay. Let's eat. Your food is getting cold"

"It's not okay, isn't it?" Nikita whispered with a heaviness in her voice. It sounded like she was about to cry. "Hey, what's going on? Do you want to leave?" Michael sensed she wasn't okay. His wife didn't cry just like that. Something was wrong. She nodded and squeezed his hand. "Okay. Here, take the keys and wait for me in the car. I'll pay and we can go home" Nikita took the keys instantly and was outside in the car in seconds.

Michael quickly paid and got their food packed so they could eat later. He got in the car and started the engine. "I don't want to go home" Nikita interrupted the heavy silence. She wanted to go somewhere or just drive around.

"Our spot at the beach?" Nikita absolutely loved the beach. It always calmed her down. A couple of years ago they discovered a really beautiful hidden area at the beach. No one ever went there so it gave the couple lots of privacy. They had had many dates there and enjoyed quiet walks during the day. It was the only place Michael could think of that Nikita would want to be right now

"Yeah" She nodded and curled into her seat. During the drive, no one said a word. Nikita didn't move and stared out the window. Michael tried to focus on the drive and stop the rising panic. All of a sudden their morning had done a 180 degree flip.

They arrived at the beach soon enough. Michael parked as close as possible to their spot so it was only going to be a short walk. He grabbed the bag of food and a blanket from the trunk. They always kept one in the car for their spontaneous trips to the beach.

Nikita opened the passenger door and just breathed deeply. Michael approached her gently. He didn't know what to say. He knew she would tell him on her own. The only thing he could do right now was comfort her. He hugged her and picked her up. She tightened her arms and legs around him. That was good. She didn't push him away.

Michael slowly walked towards the beach with Nikita in his arms. It took them longer than usual to get to their spot. Michael was extra careful not to trip or slip. Nikita knew when they arrived so she lessened her hold and put her feet down.

Michael laid the blanket on the sand and motioned for her to sit. When he sat down she reached for him. Michael pulled her close, letting her sit between his legs, and wrapped his arms around her. He rocked her gently and laid kisses on her head.

"I'm sorry"

"I'm not mad. I just want to know why you tried to hide it even if it's not related to the pregnancy

"It was my fault"

"What was?"

"I fainted because I got too stressed and the panic attack finished it off"

"That's not your fault. Things happen" Michael didn't like where this was going. He hadn't heard Nikita talking about herself like that in a long time.

"I'm scared"

"Scared of what, my love?"

"Remember my nightmare this morning. It was about…I-I was giving birth and- and there was so much blood and I-I was losing conscience and then a doctor..he pronounced me dead due to childbirth…" Tears started falling down Nikita's face. Recalling it was like dreaming it again. It had seemed so real.

"How long have you been having those dreams?" It was all clear for Michael then. All her anxiety, the panic attacks the unsureness. That was the root of it.

"Ever since I found out I was pregnant"

"You know why you are having them, right?"

"Yes, Michael I know" Nikita got annoyed at his question. Of course, she knew. He knew as well so why the stupid question?

"Hey, then you know it's not real. You don't know why she died. There could have been a million complications that had nothing to do with her. You went to get checked years ago for anything genetic that might come up. You were all cleared." Even though all those things were true Nikita still couldn't make her anxiety about it go away. "I know…but I can't get it out of my head"

Michael's heart was breaking for her. He was this close to telling her that there was a very high chance that her real mom didn't die during childbirth. That in fact her real mom was possibly very much alive and well. "Nik, I-"

"I didn't tell you because I convinced myself I was fine yet again. I didn't want to believe anything was wrong. It's stupid" It was a way of coping but it wasn't healthy for Nikita. She had learnt that through the years.

"No, hey, listen to me" Michael cradled her face and made her look at him. "Those feelings are all valid. It's scary especially when you are going through it for the first time. You are not alone though. I've got you. Always."

Nikita smiled through her tears and kissed him gently "I love you. Thank you for putting up with me and my crazies"

"I love you. Now please eat something" Michael opened the bag of food and handed her a container. "Thank god you always think of everything" Nikita had barely touched her food at the diner. She was starving.

"No, just of you" He leaned in and gave her a kiss. When he pulled away he wiped her tears and kissed her crown. "We'll be okay, right?"

"Yeah"

They spent the rest of the morning at the beach enjoying their breakfast and holding each other. Nikita was eventually able to fully relax and lean on her husband for support and comfort. Michael knew it was definitely not the right time to tell her something so life-changing. He wondered when it was going to be the right time though. There was no such thing as the right time. He wanted to make her easier on her though. It was going to be hard enough. He had to find a way to make it all work somehow.

Thank you so much for reading my story. I appreciate your lovely reviews so much xx