Chapter 11

"Are you sure she is okay? Has she said anything?" Alex had called Michael, worried about Nikita. She hated how she left things off. She couldn't stop thinking about it the whole day.

"Everything is okay now. She wasn't even upset with you" Michael was quick to reassure the young woman. Nikita was never going to be mad at her for something like that. She understood why Alex had to tell Michael.

"But she was upset?" Nikita was feeling terrible enough. Alex was going to feel horrible if she added to it in any way.

"Yes but we worked it out"

"Did you have a fight because of me?" Alex knew that dropping a bomb like that on the couple would result in something. She should have done better.

"God, no. We just talked and again everything is okay so calm down" Nikita and Michael had grown way past that stage in their relationship. Now they easily just sat down and talked whenever something came up instead of pushing it aside.

"Okay. Where is she? I want to talk to her." Alex would not settle down until she saw and heard for herself that everything was alright.

"She fell asleep on the couch. I want to let her sleep for a little bit" Michael felt like his head was going to explode. He was so worried about her and on top of that, he had gotten 3 more emails from Brian Miller. His attention was constantly pulled in different directions.

"You okay? You seem on edge." Alex didn't like how Michael sounded. He seemed distracted and…something else. Alex couldn't tell what. She assumed he would be jumping up and down from the fact that he was going to be a father again.

"Yeah…I just got worried about her. That's all" Michael didn't need to lie to another loved one so he tried to shut down Alex's concerns as quickly as possible.

That was fair. Alex had been worried about her too. Maybe she was reading too much into the situation. "Okay. I actually have something in mind to make her feel better."

"What?" Michael would happily accept any suggestions.

"Something popped up so I have to be in London next week for a few days. We can get together and celebrate then. You guys can tell everyone in person." Alex was sure a family get-together was going to lift Nikita's spirits. They still hadn't announced the pregnancy to anyone so it was going to be the perfect moment to do so.

"That would be lovely actually." Michael would happily do something like that for Nikita. The news needed to be celebrated. He didn't know where he would find the time to do something like that though. Luckily he wasn't alone in the idea."Can you help me arrange it though because-"

"No, no, I've got everything. You make sure she's good" It was her idea so she was going to organize everything and make sure everyone could come.

"Thank you. I'll go now. We'll call you tomorrow." Hopefully, Alex's idea was going to work out. It also gave him an idea of his own. He had to talk to Nikita before their family arrived. That way she could have lots of support and love around her. He also couldn't hide it for so long. It wasn't right.

He had gone out in their garden to play with Archie when Alex called. He wasn't yet in the mood to go in. He could see from their big windows that Nikita was still asleep on the couch. When they had gotten home Nikita was sick quite a few times. Michael tried to comfort her as best as he could but there wasn't much he could do.

After Nikita's stomach had settled he played her favourite movie and snuggled on the couch with her. She was out within 10 minutes. He tried to sleep as well but his mind kept racing about a million things. He decided to walk around outside instead and pay some attention to Archie.

After his phone call with Alex finished Michael was left wondering what to do. He didn't want to risk doing anything around the house in case he woke her up. She needed the rest. Then he thought of something nice he could do for her.

"Nik, baby, wake up" Michael gently tried to wake up Nikita. She had been sleeping for quite a few hours. It was almost dinner time and if she continued to sleep she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep later. They had a big day tomorrow and had to get up bright and early.

Nikita groaned, annoyed. She definitely wanted to continue sleeping. She had dozed off for like 20 minutes. Michael could have let her sleep for longer. "No, I want to sleep"

"It's almost 8, hun. You won't sleep tonight if you don't get up now." It took a lot from Michael to go and wake her up. She was sleeping so peacefully, all wrapped up by a blanket and lots of fluffy pillows. However, if he didn't wake her up now she would be wide awake at 2 am.

"What? It's 8? How is it 8?" Nikita shot up in shock. She had been sleeping for 4-5 hours. That was unheard of for her. It only felt like 20 minutes to her.

"Yeah, you must have really been tired out. You feel better?" Michael sat next to her on the couch and rubbed her back.

"Uhm, yeah, I guess." She was only feeling a bit disoriented but overall she did feel better. The nausea had gone away.

"Dinner is ready"

"What'd you make?" Nikita was excited to get some delicious food in her system. She was starving.

"Come and see" Michael reached for her hands and pulled her up with him from the couch. He had made her a delicious dinner and gone out to the shop to get everything she told him she liked right now.

They had a lovely evening. Nikita was able to open up to Michael more about her recent worries. He listened and comforted her. It was good for both of them. They were in this together. After dinner, they took Archie on a late walk to the park near their neighbourhood. It helped them relax even more.

"No, we already watched that" Michael groaned.

"So?" Nikita called from the bathroom.

The married couple was discussing what to watch as they wined down in bed. Nikita was in the bath while Michael was sitting on the bed with the TV remote in his hand. He was listing the shows and movies to her while she heavily judged them and circled back to her favourite ones in the end. A typical evening in the Mears-Bishop household.

"I don't want to watch it again. How about…" Michael got distracted by Nikita's phone lighting up. It was thrown on the bed so Michael quickly glanced at it. Could that be? No, no way. Nikita had 5 missed calls from an unknown number.

"How about what?" Nikita called out when Michael suddenly went silent.

"Uhm never mind. It didn't look that good"

"See, we have watched everything good so it's time we do it again. Hey, wait, didn't the new Lion King come out like this month. You love that one" It was Mchael's favourite childhood movie. They always preferred to watch something lighthearted before bed.

"Yeah, yeah. Let me find it" Michael responded mindlessly. He was too focused on her phone. She had left it upstairs when they had gotten home so she hadn't seen the missed calls. Not many people had her phone number. Also calling 5 times in one day was a bit unusual. Michael's initial gut feeling crept in. What if?

He pulled out his phone and looked at the numbers. It was the same one. It was Brian Miller's phone number. How the hell had he gotten Nikita's number? Michael deleted the missed calls and blocked the number. It was one thing for him to receive numerous phone calls and emails but Nikita…That was a whole different territory.

"Are you having trouble finding it?" Michael had gotten quiet so Nikita thought he was still looking for the movie.

"Found it. I'm gonna go get something to drink from downstairs. Do you want something?" Michael needed some excuse to get out of the room.

"No, but could you fill up my water bottle please?"

"Okay," Michael grabbed her bottle and went downstairs. He headed straight to his office.

"Yes, Michael" Birkhoff answered right away.

"I need a favour like right now" Only Birkhoff could help him with his new scheme to protect Nikita from this mess.

"Okay, go" Michael sounded panicked so Birkhoff jumped in instantly.

"Is there a way to stop any unknown numbers from calling or texting Nikita?" Blocking Brian Miller's phone number was in no way going to guarantee anything. The detective could try to reach Nikita from another phone without any trouble.

"Yeah, I can do that. Why?" Birkhoff had waited for an update from Michael but all he got was We'll talk when you get back. That wasn't enough.

"I just really need you to do that for me right now" Michael had no time to explain.

"Give me a sec….done. "

"Done?"

"After all those years you still dare to doubt me. I am seriously offended" Birkhoff tried to joke instead. Hopefully, that would give Michael a moment to breathe.

"Thank you"

"Can you tell me now what's going on? Did you tell her?" Birkhoff needed something. He had to know how Nikita was doing.

"No"

"Why?" The hacker was confused. What was taking Michael so long?

"It's complicated"

"How? You just have to tell her. Don't try to do anything on your own. You know how that goes for the both of you" Birkhoff was not having that.

"When are you coming back?"

"Sunday."

"I'll explain everything I promise. Not now"

"Honestly I don't know who is harder to deal with you or your wife"

"You love us both so it doesn't matter now I gotta go, bye" Michael knew his best friend was right but there were so many factors into play that he didn't know about.

Michael hurriedly went back upstairs so that Nikita wouldn't suspect anything. He walked into the room and found her nearly lying on the floor breathing hard. "Baby, what's wrong?" He instantly rushed to her side.

"I'm okay, I'm okay. Just got super dizzy." Nikita brushed him off. She just needed a minute. She had gotten out of the bathtub and just gotten dressed when she felt extremely dizzy. She didn't want to hurt herself if she fainted again so she tried to lay down as quickly as possible. The safest and closest option was the floor.

"Drink some water. Do you want to eat something sweet? Maybe your blood sugar is low or…" Michel swore his heart was going to explode.

"I'm alright I probably just stayed too long in the bath" Michael was overreacting. She wasn't in any pain or anything like that.

"Could be if the water was scolding hot like you usually have it but I checked it. It was fine" Michael had been hesitant when Nikita said she wanted to take a bath. He had heard that it wasn't recommended for pregnant women so he did a quick research. It was okay only if the water was at a certain temperature. Michael prepared the bath for her himself. There shouldn't have been a problem.

"I am okay. Already feeling better" Nikita really did feel better after laying down for a bit.

"Come on, lay down on the bed. Have some of my Coke at least" That didn't settle Michael at all. He gently carried her to bed and tucked her in.

"Is the room spinning? Do you feel nauseous?"

Nikita chuckled "Are you going to be like this the whole time?" She found it adorable but it was definitely going to get annoying after some time.

"I'm sorry. I just…I got scared when I saw you on the floor" Michael sighed and brushed his forehead against hers. It wasn't even from the fact she was pregnant. He was still going to react the same way even if she wasn't. Finding the love of your life on your bedroom floor was a terrifying experience as it is.

"I know, I'm sorry. I am okay now, I promise. I just feel really weak at times, that's all" Nikita felt bad about saying something. Of course, he would get scared. If it was him in her position she would have freaked out too.

"We'll run it by the doctor tomorrow" Michael tried to think logically and more positively. They had a doctor's appointment tomorrow. They can get answers for all the things that were happening with Nikita.

"Yeah. Now can we go back to the movie?" Nikita was completely fine now. As if nothing had happened.

"Let me breathe for a second" Michael released a laugh of relief. She was fine moving on just like that but he had a hard time with it. His heart stopped when he saw her on the floor. Judging by how bad her early symptoms were, the first trimester was going to be difficult for her.

"I'm sorry, come here" She pulled him into bed with her. "I'm okay" She hugged him tightly and laid kisses on his cheek.

"Next time you feel dizzy or just not well please call for me. No matter where I am or what I am doing" Michael felt guilty about not being by her side. If he had been in the room he could have taken care of her right away.

"Okay, I promise" Michael stayed by her side for a few more moments until Nikita urged him to go get ready for bed as well. He reluctantly did so without tearing his eyes off her. Nikita tried to distract him from all his running thoughts by making jokes and teases. It barely worked. She only managed to draw out a few smiles.

He got into bed with her and just held her. She played the movie but Michael paid no attention to it. He held her close, caressed her hair gently, played with their intertwined fingers, and laid sweet kisses on her temple. That was the only thing that calmed him down and helped him fall asleep. He was out halfway through the movie.

Nikita had a strange gut feeling. Something wasn't right with Michael. At first, she had thought it was maybe the pregnancy but then she quickly ruled it out. He had been ecstatic. It couldn't have been that. She doubted it was work too. It was something else but why wasn't he sharing it with her.

2nd September, Friday

Nikita was nervously fidgeting on the chair in the waiting area of the hospital while Michael was filling out paperwork. She had been too distracted to do it herself and she also hated the task in general so she had Michael do it for her.

Michael sighed and took hold of her hand, pulling it against his chest. "Relax, baby. You are only making it worse for yourself" The downside of him doing the paperwork was that Nikita had nothing to do. She hated hospitals so she was already on edge when they came in. She could never sit still to save her life so that was also irritating her. It was just a perfect the perfect mix with all her intrusive negative thoughts.

"How are you so calm?" Nikita wished she could be as chill as him at this moment. She felt sick from all the nerves building in her stomach. She wanted to go in already and she desperately needed to hear that everything was okay.

"Just because I am not scrambling on my seat doesn't mean I am not nervous. I have no valid reason to panic though" Michael had to remain calm. If she showed how nervous he was on the outside then Nikita would have started losing it. He also liked to remain positive. Yes, Nikita had some pretty shitty symptoms but that's why they were at the doctor's after all. To get answers and see how everything is going.

"I am not panicking" Nikita was nervous but she wanted to believe that she still somewhat managed to keep her cool.

"Mhmm" Michael continued on filling out the papers. He barely contained himself from laughing. She could try and fool a lot of people but never him.

"Why is it taking you so long?" She huffed impatiently. Maybe she should have done it.

"Because I am doing it properly"

"Hey!"

"Did I lie?" Michael dared her to try and contradict him. They both knew he was right. Nikita always rushed through the medical forms to get into the doctor's office faster. It almost never worked that way but she did it every time.

"How much longer?" Nikita slumped in her seat and whined. She was so anxious. If they didn't move soon she swore she was going to start doing laps around the whole hospital.

"Just a few more minutes. I am almost done" Nikita took a brief glimpse at where he was at and something caught her eye. At the bottom of the page there was a section about Family Medical history, Michael had crossed it off. "Why did you cross that off?" She pointed at the section.

"I always do that"

"Why?" Michael was confused and hesitated on what exactly to say. Did he need to actually explain why he didn't fill out that section?

"Because we have no information on your birth parents' medical history"

"Yeah, but we know one major thing that needs to be in there. Like the fact that my birth mother died during childbirth" Nikita was getting worked up and Michael had the feeling it wasn't because they were still in the waiting area. Nikita was anxious about the possibility that something was going to be wrong with their baby or her. Her recent nightmares were evidence of that. She was terrified that the same thing that happened to her birth mom might happen to her.

"Yes that is important but we don't have any more information" There was also a possibility her birth mom was actually alive but Michael couldn't tell her that right now. He had to try another way to calm her down. "There might have been a complication or some other factor. It's better for them to do genetic testing and determine that. It's why I cross it out every time" Nikita had done many blood tests since they had their lives back so if there was anything wrong they would have already known. She was perfectly healthy.

Nikita fell silent for a few minutes then turned to him "You can't ignore it"

"And you can't let it consume you" The nightmares, the constant anxiety. Those fears were taking a huge toll on her. She wasn't even mad or anxious about being in the hospital. That's how bad it was. The fear of dying while giving birth had truly started to consume her mind.

"I hate it when you do that" She was annoyed when he was always able to pick up on her thoughts, fears and anxieties. Sometimes she wanted to sit with them alone and close herself off. It wasn't a healthy way to cope. She knew it. Nikita tried to be better about it but it was hard when she was also nauseous and moody.

"Do what? Care for you and love you with my whole being" Michael turned his body to face hers and flashed her his crooked smile.

"Yeah that" Nikita scoffed and rolled her eyes but there was a smile in there that she tried to hide but failed. She could never glare at him when he looked at her like that. Michael leaned in and pecked her cheek "It will be okay. I am right here"

Nikita smiled at him then. She had to trust him on that or she was going to go insane. "Also I'm done" Michael smirked and stole a kiss from her lips this time. After they parted Nikita leaped out of her chair and pulled Michael by the hand to the reception desk. Fortunately for them, they had to wait only 5 more minutes before they were called to go in.

The appointment was going well. Nikita's results were great. There was nothing to worry about as of right now. The doctor went over all the symptoms that Nikita was experiencing and prescribed her some things to help her manage.

"So before we move on to the exciting part, is there anything else that concerns you?" The doctor asked. Nikita had been fortunate enough to find a great specialist who intently listened to everything she said and was there happy to answer all her questions. It made the experience at the hospital bearable.

"My anxiety. Is that going to cause any harm to the baby?" Nikita had been so worried with her recent panic attacks.

"Yeah let me see." The doctor grabbed her folder that had all of Nikita's information in it. "So you have been diagnosed for a few years. I see you are not on any medication at the moment?"

"I was at first but I didn't like it so I opted for just therapy instead" Nikita found therapy more manageable and helpful with her anxiety. She also had terrible side effects from almost every medication she had tried.

"How often do you go to therapy?"

"Depends, but a few times a month" Nikita couldn't say she was consistent with it. She went to therapy only when she felt like it

"My advice would be to continue and you can even do the sessions a bit more frequently like once every week or two weeks. Whatever feels best. Because of all the hormonal changes you might feel an increase in your anxiety. If you do please reach out and we can find a solution with your therapist. There is no risk for the baby as long as you manage it and have help and support. One panic attack is not going to harm your baby" The doctor understood Nikita's worries and tried to be as helpful and useful as possible.

"Stress is its own separate thing and I don't want you to think of the two as one. Stress is something that you can kind of control."

Nikita nodded. She felt a little bit at ease. She definitely had to book some more therapy appointments. Even without the doctor's advice, she knew she had to go more frequently.

"This is a folder that we give all expecting parents. It is filled with useful information like everything you can and can't eat. What medications it's safe to take. What activities are safe for you to do and all of that. Of course, if you have any other questions don't hesitate to call"

"Thank you" Michael eagerly took the folder and started looking through it.

"Anything else?"

Michael looked up at Nikita. He was expecting her to voice her concerns about the birth but for some reason, she was being silent. Michael decided to step in. They needed to talk to the doctor about it. He was sure it was going to help Nikita relax more.

"We have one more thing, yes. We don't have access to Nikita's family medical history. We only know that there was a complication during Nikita's birth that resulted in her mother's death" Michael chose his words carefully. It was a very painful subject for Nikita.

"Okay, that is definitely something we have to look into. We usually do genetic testing around 12 weeks but I can send you in to do an early one so you can be at ease. I will order in some extra ones as a precaution as well just to be safe."

"Yes, that would be great. Thank you" Michael was more than satisfied.

"It's not something to stress over too much. We usually catch any complications with the pregnancy fairly quickly. I have examined you numerous times and so far there hasn't been anything concerning. Your tests are all coming back normal. As of right now, there is no reason to worry" Michael was glad the doctor took the time to reassure them. Hopefully, that was going to help Nikita and ease her anxiety.

The doctor passed another piece of paper to Michael and turned to Nikita

"Shall we"

Nikita moved to lie down on the examination table. Michael followed and sat on a chair right next to her. He was so excited to see their little bub.

"So this is your guys' screen so you can see what I see. We'll listen to the heartbeat first" Michael reached for Nikita's hand and squeezed it in anticipation. She looked over at him to see his reaction. Nikita had heard the heartbeat for the first time earlier this week and seen their baby. Now it was his turn.

"There we go" The room fell silent. The sound of the thumbing rhythm filled up the room. Michael and Nikita both beamed at each other. They were both speechless. That had to be one of the most amazing sounds in the world.

"Nik…" Michael managed to whisper. Nikita chuckled "Yeah I know" She was just as amazed as he was. That was their baby.

"Heartbeat is steady and strong. Really good. Now let's see here…" The screen in front of Michael and Nikita lit up and they glued their eyes to it. As soon as they were able to tell what they were looking at they squeezed their hands as tight as they could and drifted closer to each other.

"So measurements are great. It seems like you are actually 8 weeks today. Here is your little baby. I know it doesn't look like it right now but you'll be surprised at how fast they develop" The doctor explained.

"Our little dot" Michael whispered gently in Nikia's ear. She smiled at him brightly and kissed his knuckles.

"Can we get that printed?" Nikita wanted that ultrasound photo so badly. She had tried to get an ultrasound photo in Greece but they didn't give her one.

"Yeah of course" Nikita mentally jumped up and down. Michael was ecstatic as well. They got to have a picture of their little bub at home.

"So based on the dates of your last period and what I am seeing right now you are about 8 weeks today exactly. So you will turn a new week every Friday. Due date is the 14th of April but we tend to broaden that out a little bit especially when it's your first pregnancy so I would say the end of March beginning of April is when we should be on the lookout for the little one's arrival. It's safe for you to give birth after 38 weeks so there is nothing to worry about if the baby comes a little bit earlier than its due date. We see that a lot, especially with first-time moms"

"Okay, and everything else looks good?" Nikita needed to be reassured at any point that everything was alright.

"You guys have a perfect little angel coming your way. Everything looks great"

"See" Michael caressed Nikita's head and kissed her knuckles. "Perfect"

The rest of the appointment went amazingly. The doctor let them hear the heartbeat one more time and printed them a few copies of the ultrasound. They booked their next appointment and were free to go.

Hand in hand Michael and Nikita exited the hospital all excited and giddy. He pulled her into a corner and finally kissed her. He had wanted to so badly when they saw their baby. Michael was so over the moon. He wanted to scream, run, jump and do everything out of excitement and pure happiness.

They both couldn't hold the kiss for long because they were smiling so much.

Michael picked her up and twirled her around. "We are having a baby" Nikita squealed.

"I know. You get to be a dad again" Nikita pecked his lips and cradle his cheeks "Yeah and you are going to be a mom"

"That sounds crazy" Nikita laughed. She had never dreamed of becoming a mother. For a long time, she refused to even think about the idea of having a child one day. Now it was happening. Now it was all she wanted. The dream of having a family with Michael was becoming true.

"And so right though" Michael had been telling Nikita for years that she would be a fantastic mother. He was never doing it to pressure her into having a family with him. He just hated the fact that she so strongly believed that she would be a terrible mother. That was so ridiculous that he just couldn't stand and let her believe it.

Nikita teared up a little bit from hearing those words. It did feel incredibly right. She couldn't understand yet why but she decided to trust the feeling and let herself be. She was excited, incredibly happy but still very much terrified. She had Michael by her side though. Everything was going to be alright. She was trusting him on that.

Thank you so incredibly much for your patience! Life has been doing its thing and I'm barely able to catch up with it. It is taking me longer than usual to finish the chapters and find a longer period of time in my day where I can just write. I want to take my time with this story and write it as well as possible. I read all your reviews constantly and they make me so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you! xx