El Chavo del Ocho is the creation of Roberto Gomez Bolaños and the intellectual property of Bolaños Group and Televisa.

All other franchises and characters mentioned within this story are the intellectual properties of their respective copyright and trademark holders.

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

MUGEN Universe: Tournament of Champions.

A thin, black haired, mustachoed man wearing a black shirt, an old hat and faded jeans sat on a porch, reading the newspaper.

"This Akira guy sure is causin' a whole lot of trouble, huh..."

A light bulb went on above his head.

"I know! If I go there and descalabro sus cachetes, maybe they'll give me some reward money! Then I coud pay Mr. Barriga's rent and he'll get off me (he's WAY too heavy)!"

He smiled smarmily and stod up, puffing his chest up. "Piece of cake! Beating people up is much easier than getting ol' boring jobs! I deserve better than those anyway!"

He flexed a ridiculously weak bicep and kissed it. "With these arms of steel, I'll be back with all that sweet money in no time!"

And so, Don Ramon marched off to meet his destiny, leaving his daughter with his grandma, Mrs. Nieves...

Don Ramon.

Origin: El Chavo, a sketch in the comedy show Chespirito.

Ramon Valdez, a 50-year-old man living in a vecindad (a bunch of houses set around a common yard in a poor neighborhood) in Mexico. He owes fourteen months of unpaid rent to the owner of the vecindad, Mr. Barriga, and has a 10-year-old daughter, Chilindrina.

Don Ramon is a hot tempered man who lost his wife during Chilindrina's childbirth. Ever since, he has been bumming up in Mr. Barriga's rented house, occasionally taking odd jobs to pay the bills. His bad luck and his clumsy, ignorant ways prevent him from keeping any job for long.

Lazy, uneducated and petty, Don Ramon nonetheless has a fundamentally good heart and loves his daughter dearly.

Stage: The vecindad where Don Ramon, El Chavo and his friends live. Chavo is peeking out of the barrel where he hides, ducking back into it when he's scared. Chilindrina cheers for her dad and bawls when he's defeated. Godinez stands there with his arms folded behind his back and a stupid uninterested expression.

Opening Poses and Lines:

Don Ramon takes his hat off and scratches his head. "Why are you so mad at me? Did I do anything to you?" He puts the hat back on. "La venganza nunca es buena, mata el alma y la envenena."

Don Ramon shakes his head. "I hate fighting. It's a kind of work, after all...!"

Vs. Akuma:

Akuma appears on Don Ramon's path. "I am power made flesh..."

"Ay nanita!" Don Ramon makes a sign of the cross. "The devil...!"

Akuma bellows "Give me the fight my black heart howls for...!"

"Take Doña Florinda instead, diablo!" Don Ramon begs. "No, wait, that'd be too mean to you..."

Vs. Galactus:

Don Ramon appears on the space platform. "Dammit!" he says. "They took me to an episode of El Chavo Animado!"

Galactus appears grandiosely before him. "Prepare to devoured in the name of Galactus!"

"Rechanfle!" Don Ramon says. "Alberto el Hambriento!"

"Your lives must end so that I may live!"

"Sorry, I don't spik Inglish? What you sayin? Pollito chicken gallina hen lapiz pencil pluma pen?"

"I HUNGER!"

"Chanfle! This guy wants to eat the Earth like a torta de jamon!"

Vs. Belldandy:

Don Ramon finds himself in Heaven.

"Dammit! Well, at least I won't ever see la vieja chancluda here..."

Belldandy appears before him, floating down gently. "Welcome, brave champion of mankind. I am Belldandy..."

Don Ramon's eyes bug out. "Cosa bonita, cosa bien hecha, cosa hermosa!"

"Sorry, but I have a fiancee already. Besides, I don't particularly appreciate being called a 'thing'..."

"Women nowadays, huh!"

Heavy Moves:

Lecciones de Box: Don Ramon performs a chain of boxing jabs.

Ole!: A skilled feint where Don Ramon skips aside to the second plane of the stage, swinging a red mantle, like a bullfighter. It is very useful to dodge projectiles and other attacks.

Una Vez Fui Golfista: Don Ramon pulls a golf club and swats with it, keeping the enemy at a distance.

Roberto Garcia's Kyou-Como-Se-Llame: Don Ramon deploys a combination of high kicks copied from Robert Garcia from Art of Fighting.

Agüitas de Jamaica: A series of short distance kicks with Don Ramon's foot catching on fire and increasing the damage dealt.

Patada de Metralleta por la Jeta: Don Ramon resorts to a copy of Chun Li's high-speed kicks.

Super Moves:

Toma!:

Don Ramon grabs the opponent by the head and deals a brutal blown down to their skull.

Torta de Jamon:

Don Ramon pulls out a ham and bread snack and eats it, regaining some lost energy.

Ultra Instinto:

Don Ramon charges power up, with his burning aura of Hot Blooded Awesomeness hurting those around him. For the next few seconds his attacks deal twice the damage as usual and he is twice as faster, but he needs a full POW bar to pull this off. If you're so strong, why would you let Mrs. Florinda wallop you?

Si Seras... Si Seras...:

Don Ramon performs a bootleg copy of the Hao-Sho-Ko-Ken from Art of Fighting. Even though it looks very cheap and its animation is laughable, it still is pretty effective. Perhaps he learned it from Marco Rodrigues.

Victory Poses and Lines:

Don Ramon pulls a guitar out and begins playing it while singing, "Quiero ver, otra vez, tus ojitos de noche serena. Quiero oír, otra vez, tus palabras calmando mi pena. No hay razón, dulce bien, que me trates como a un extraño, siempre soy el que he sido, no me pagues con un desengaño. Mira negra, no me causes más daño..."

Don Ramon shakes his fist at the opponent. "Y no te doy otra no mas porque...!"

Don Ramon smiles smugly, pleased with himself. Ms. Cleotilde, the homely 'Hag of Apartment 71th', appears with loving intentions, saying, "My rorro!" Don Ramon yelps and runs away, pursued by Ms. Cleotilde.

Vs. Akuma:

"That was scary!"

Don Ramon nervously takes his hat off and bows to the knocked out Akuma. "Con permisito, dijo Monchito, y se fue a tomar un cafecito!" he says, and walks away like a speeded up Pink Panther, sweating.

Akuma grunts from the ground.

Vs. Galactus:

Galactus roars a series of furious sounds, and then plummets down offscreen, as the whole platform Don Ramon is on quakes. Don Ramon freaks out.

"A poco I defeated Alberto el Hambriento?" Don Ramon wonders aloud in disbelief.

The Silver Surfer floats down to face Don Ramon. "You have indeed vanquished Galactus. Thanks to you, your race stands a chance to-"

"Whoa there! Put on some pants, you sicko!"

"... pants?"

Don Ramon grimaces. "Then again, you don't even have anything down there. Poor guy..."

Don Ramon returns home without anyone on Earth knowing he saved the world. As a matter of fact, not even us can believe it. Maybe it was all a dream? Yeah, let's go with that.

Don Ramon makes several angry faces at the camera. "No me simpatizas!"

"That's my catchprase!" Quico says, then wails at someone offscreen, "MOOOOOOOM...!"

Vs. Belldandy:

"My wish? Geez, I'd really, really like to pay Mr. Barriga those months of rest I owe him..."

Belldandy starts saying, "That is easy to-"

Don Ramon gestures with his hands. "No, no, wait! Que paso, que paso, que paso, vamos ahi..."

Belldandy smiles. "Well, that's fine, take your time to think of a good wish!"

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy, smiling: "..."

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy, smiling: "..."

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy, smiling: "..."

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy, smiling: "..."

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy, smiling: "..."

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy, smiling: "..."

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy, smiling: "..."

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy, losing her smile: "..."

Don Ramon: "Hmmmmm..."

Belldandy: "WELL?!"

Don Ramon scoffs. "Es que no me tienen paciencia... Ah, I know! I want my own TV show!"

"What?" Belldandy says.

"Yes, yes!" Don Ramon nods. "This is the greatest show of humor TV... Don Ramon! Written by super comedian Chespirito! Starring Ramon Valdez as Don Ramon! Executive producer, Enrique Segoviano!"

"I don't know," Belldandy says. "I don't believe it could be that successful."

"You think so? Well, someone as handsome as I is a better fit for a romantic lead anyway..."

To be Continued.

Next Challenger: Someone who is not so chusma, chusma!