Homelander looked at Victoria. This was the same woman who he had spent the previous night holding to him and promising her that he would always love her. It was the same woman who had sat on his lap in the fire escape and begged him not to let the press find out about her childhood. He remembered that night after the concert and how they'd had sex in the walk-in closet as she told him that it was them against the world. She was the one he'd confided in when his childhood nightmares took hold of him again. He'd held her in the water off that small island, his fingers feeling the goosebumps of her flesh and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist as she'd told him that she was so sorry about what had happened to him as a child.
The one woman he trusted the most was the same woman who had betrayed him again. But this time, instead of pleading with him for forgiveness and begging him not to do anything that would take her away from Evie, she sat opposite him just as angry. She sat opposite him and was ready to take him on because this time she'd had enough. This time he'd pushed her too far.
"How did you find out about A-Train?" he asked her, starting the questioning.
The lights above them flickered considering he had broken them. Victoria frowned and crossed one leg over the other.
"That night at Tek-Knight's mansion he came into the library and he found M.M. on the floor…he'd had a panic attack and he took him to the hospital," Victoria answered him.
"Why did you not tell me?"
"Why do you think?" Victoria asked, cocking her head to the side. "You killed Cameron Coleman. You probably killed Webweaver today too, I'm guessing? Did you really think that I was going to risk A-Train? No. Too much blood has been spilled."
"So, you kept it from me. You chose to lie to me."
"To keep a man alive," Victoria replied. "And if you really want to talk about lying why don't you begin talking? Did you think that I wouldn't find out that you intend to assassinate the President?"
"If I had my way then you wouldn't have found out," Homelander retorted. "No one would know except for those in the inner circle."
"That means you, Sage and Firecracker, right?" Victoria said to him. "And you clearly didn't tell me because you knew how I'd react. You knew that I'd never agree to it. You knew that it would ruin us because you know who I am."
Homelander watched her and then wagged his finger in her direction. "That's the thing with you, Victoria," he said, eyeing her suspiciously. "I think I know who you are, but there are times when even I'm not sure. You claim to want to do the right thing, but you have no problem with people getting hurt. You have no problem with people getting hurt so long as they're people you don't care about. And then there's us. How many times have you told me that I've overstepped the mark? How many times have I done something that you've not liked? And you always come crawling back to me. You always come back because you know that you love me. You have this self-righteous desire to do good…to be good…but you're with me. You're still with me despite everything. That's because you love me. You love me over everything."
There was silence then and Homelander's lips curved upwards as he watched her try and formulate a response to him. Searching his blue gaze, she knew that she didn't have a response.
"And you?" Victoria asked him back. "What about you? You keep taking me back, John. You keep taking me back no matter how many times I do something you don't like. I ran away. I fell in love with another man-"
"-You never loved him," Homelander interrupted her, voice firm. "And you know that you didn't."
"I still ran away," Victoria said. "I left you. I'm pretty much a Starlighter as well and you know that. If I was out on the streets, I'd be protesting with them. So what? You're going to lock me up? Or is it worse? You're going to chuck me in a cell under the Tower again?"
Homelander was quiet then and Victoria tried to work out what he was thinking, but she knew that was almost impossible because of how volatile he could be. But she had to try and read him. She had to try and play this right.
"You know there will be riots, don't you?" Victoria checked with him. "People won't accept Neuman becoming President. And then there will be questions. Who killed him? Why did they kill him?"
"You think I haven't thought about that?" Homelander asked her.
"I think Sage might have, but you've thrown her out," Victoria said. "What you're talking about is treason, John. You're talking about overthrowing a government. You're talking about thwarting democracy."
"Democracy," he chuckled the word back to her. "Do you honestly think we live in a democracy now? This entire country is run by humans, Victoria. Do you think that is democratic? Do you think what Singer is proposing is democratic?"
"You know I don't agree with it, but that doesn't mean I agree with you either," Victoria replied to her husband. "I don't agree with supes being in charge of everything. Is that what you want? You want Neuman to be your puppet and supes become even more powerful? Put into the military? Law enforcement? Is that it?"
"A supe army," he said to his wife. "It's the only way to keep this country safe. It's the only way that our children grow up in a world where they're completely safe because everyone knows they're superior. You've seen what it's like out there for supes, Vic. We've been demonised. We've been persecuted for who we are. That's wrong. You know we're superior. Deep down, you know we're superior."
Victoria shook her head and rested her arms on the armrest of the chair, swinging slightly in it as she pushed from the ground with her foot. "I don't think anyone is superior," she said. "What? I think you're better than me because you're strong…can fly…? I don't, John, and you know I don't. I think humans and supes are equal. We deserve equal footing."
"But we're never going to get that with Singer in charge."
"And that's why you try and challenge the system. You don't kill someone because you don't agree with them," Victoria said. "You don't get it, do you? You could do so much good, John. You have the voice to try and change things for the better, but that's not what you want, is it? What you want is power. You climbed to the top of Vought and it's not enough."
Homelander knew that was true. He wasn't fulfilled. He thought that he might be, but he wasn't. Victoria continued to observe her husband as he spread his legs even wider and leant forwards, forearms resting on them.
"Where does it come from?" Victoria wondered from him. "Is it because of what they did to you in that lab? Is it because of what those humans did?"
"I've dealt with them."
"But you haven't, have you?" Victoria replied. "Because where else can this stem from? Maybe if they'd raised you properly…showed you love…then none of this might be happening because it's wrong and you know it's wrong."
"Just because you say something is wrong doesn't mean it is," he replied. "And what happened in my childhood has nothing to do with what is going on now. I am doing this because we deserve it. Supes deserve to be in charge and we will be."
"And where does it stop?" Victoria asked from her husband. "The US? Or are you planning for world domination? And what do you do with the people who disagree with you? Where will they go? Because there will be people who disagree with you and we both know it."
She didn't know about the camps or the deal with Tek-Knight. She didn't know how he intended to round them up and keep them quiet. But she would work it out. She would find out when it became public knowledge and he wouldn't be able to keep it from her. She exhaled a sharp breath as Homelander drummed his fingers against his thighs and studied her.
"I'm hoping that people will be wise enough not to go against us," Homelander retorted.
Victoria rolled her eyes. "Come on, John, we both know that's not how things work," she said to her husband.
"Well, if there's any issues then we will deal with the troublemakers. We will deal with the Starlighters and we have resources to do that…thanks to Tek-Knight," Homelander said. "Then again, with him being dead, he's not much use to us."
Victoria wondered what Tek-Knight had to do with any of it. She searched her brain, trying to see if she remembered anything about him. Biting down on her tongue, her eyes narrowed and Homelander could see that she was thinking about what he'd just said. And then those dark blue eyes widened in understanding and Homelander saw the realisation sweep across her face before it turned to horror.
"Prisons," Victoria said and she shook her head quickly. "Jesus Christ," she whispered.
"It's what is needed to keep this country safe."
"Stop talking shit!" Victoria snapped at her husband and that was the first time she'd raised her voice at him. "What you're talking about is full on fascism. It's disgusting. You can't do that. You can't do that to people simply because they disagree with you. It's so wrong…and you know that. I know that you know that."
"It's what is necessary."
"It fucking isn't," Victoria growled lowly at him. "It's deplorable and I…does Neuman even know about that?"
"She will," Homelander said.
"And you think that she'll go along with it?" Victoria wondered from him. "Because I don't see her willing to go along with it, John. She's many things, but one thing she isn't is a dictator and we both know that."
"She will do as she's told because she will be where she is because of us," Homelander said. Victoria wasn't sure if that was true, but she guessed there was only one woman who knew what she would do. "Fundamentally, Victoria, this doesn't change anything. We both know you're not going anywhere because we belong together. You betraying me…yet again…it really should be the final straw. No one else in my life would ever be afforded the privileges you are."
"Then do it," Victoria said to him. "Laser me right now and see if it will make you feel any better."
His eyes glowed for a fleeting moment, but he could see that she wasn't scared. Her heartrate had settled down since they'd sat down and started talking. It was almost as if she felt like she was the one in charge. He observed her intently, watching as she just stared at him and he let his eyes settle back down.
"You won't kill me because you've had ample opportunities to do so in the past," Victoria said. "And I betrayed you, just like you betrayed me…and if you do this…I can't stay, John. I can't stand by your side throughout this."
"You can and you will," Homelander said forcefully.
"No," Victoria said. "No, I won't. I'll leave. I will take Evie and Ryan and I will leave."
"Do you think I will let you do that?"
"We've just established that you won't kill me."
"I might not kill you, but I'm not letting you go," Homelander said to her. "You might not be loyal to me, but I know why you did what you did. I know why you did it because I know you. You're soft…you're weak…you think with your heart…you need me to protect you, Victoria. You need me to look after you and you know that. It was only twenty-four hours ago when you were crying in my arms."
Victoria could hardly deny that. "I want the idea of you," she said to her husband. "I want the John who took me away for Christmas…who helped me with my conference presentations…who ordered me my favourite meal when I'd been working late in the library. I want the man who promised me that all he needed was me, but that's not true, is it? Because I'm not enough for you. If I was enough then you wouldn't be doing this. You'd come with me. We'd run away. We'd take our kids and we'd just leave."
"Running away isn't the answer, Victoria," Homelander said. "Running away won't solve the fact that this world isn't safe for supes. And we need to think about Evie and Ryan. We need to think about them and what kind of world we want to leave for them."
"I do," Victoria said, "and it's not the same as the one you want. I can't let you do this, John."
He almost looked amused then. "And what're you going to do to stop me, sweetheart?" he wondered. "You think because you're polling higher than I am that people will care about what you have to say? You think that this new found level of fame you've reached will be enough to stop us? It won't be."
"I…I never even thought about that…but I just…I can't stand by your side through this."
"You've said that before, but here we are."
"You don't get it, do you?" Victoria asked him. "What we have is toxic, John. We're toxic together. All we do is hurt each other."
"And what have I done to hurt you?" Homelander asked her and Victoria looked at him with a gaze of disbelief, her mouth gaping.
"Are you kidding me?" she demanded from him. "Well, how about we start with the glaringly obvious. You sent Noir and Deep to kill my brother. Did you think that I wouldn't find out? Did you think that I'd be happy about that?"
Homelander's jaw tensed at hearing her. He knew she'd find out about that considering Noir and Deep had failed in their task. He should've just gone and done the job himself. What was the saying? If you wanted a job done well, then you had to do it yourself. Well, it turned out that was true with everyone in The Seven.
"Your brother was becoming a pain in my ass. Besides, it's not as if he has long left anyway."
"So that gives you the right to decide when to kill him, does it?" Victoria sniped back. "I'm done, John. I'm taking the kids and I'm leaving you."
"That's not happening."
"Yes, it is," Victoria said and she moved to her feet. Homelander stood up too, the pair of them inches apart from each other. Homelander stood opposite her, arms going over his chest. Victoria's moved to her hips. "You see, there might've been a time when I was too scared to leave you, but not anymore. No. I know that I can go because you…you won't hurt me and I know you won't hurt me."
"Do you want to test that theory?" Homelander asked, voice low and a hiss.
"Then do it," Victoria said to him, pushing against his chest. "Kill me. Do it. Kill me and it'll solve all your problems. You'll have no wife who despises you…you'll have two kids who hardly remember what you look like because you haven't been present for weeks…and you'll have to live with the knowledge that you killed me: the only woman you claimed to love."
She glared at him intently, refusing to back down as his jaw locked and his fingers continued to clench into fists by his sides, the leather straining under the movements.
"You can leave," Homelander said to her, "but you're not taking our daughter or son with you."
"You think I'd leave without them?"
"If you do leave then it will be without them. Trust me," Homelander said to her. "And if you speak out…if you dare to go public against me then there will be no leniency. You might be my wife, but if you stand in my way then I'll do what I have to do. I don't want to, Victoria. Trust me, I don't. But I will."
"What? You'll throw me into one of your prisons?" Victoria demanded from him.
"If I have to then I will."
"No, you won't," Victoria said confidently. "I know you, John. I know that somewhere, deep down, you are too weak to do that. You want to get rid of your humanity…the thing that you claim holds you back…well you can't. So long as you love me then you can't because I'm human. I'm a tie to it and you can't ignore that. So, do it. Lock me in a cell."
"You want me to do it?"
"No," Victoria said. "Obviously, I don't want you to lock me in a cell. I want you to give up on this insane plan. I want you to quit trying to be this man. I want what you promised me. I want our family."
"And we can still have it."
"Not if you do this," Victoria said.
"You've forgiven so much of what I've done in the past," Homelander said.
"Forgiven?" Victoria echoed from him. "You think I forgave you? I can't forgive you, John. I can't let go of the past. I can't do that and you know that. What I have done is try to move on…try to be the wife you want me to be because I know that we're married. I know that we can't get out and…somewhere inside of me there's a piece of me that still loves you when it's just us. When you're not playing a role, pretending to be something else…it makes me long for what we could have had. And you don't get it, John. You don't get that I have this deep ache inside of me that longs for you…for our past…but that's gone, isn't it? We can't have that."
Homelander saw that her eyes began to glaze over and he felt his own eyes water. He sniffed and shook his head, moving his hand out towards her and taking hold of her neck, brushing her hair behind her shoulder. "We can have it, Vicky," he assured her on that point. "We can have what you wanted."
"You're still not getting it, John," Victoria said, hand going to his wrist. "We can't have it. We've had something like a normal relationship, but we've been lying to each other. We've been keeping things from each other to try and stay happy, but it's not working. It'll never work because we can't keep lying to each other."
"We're not lying now," Homelander said. "You know what the plan is. You know everything."
"And I can't stay here," Victoria said in exasperation. "So, lock me up. Do it."
He said nothing then and Victoria just kept on watching him. She wondered if he was going to do anything, but he didn't. Victoria just tugged his wrist from her grip and held onto it for a few moments.
"I wish that I was enough," Victoria said to him. "I wish that things were different…but it's not too late…give this up, John," she pleaded from him. "Give this up and just come with me. We can get away from this. We can go. You and me…nothing else will matter except us."
"Nothing else does matter except us and I'm doing this for us."
"Then you've made your choice," Victoria said and she dropped his wrist before she turned on her heel and started to walk away, amazed that she had made it through that conversation without breaking down. Heading to the door, Victoria only stopped when his voice rang out, crystal clear and echoing through the room.
"I am your husband," he said to her, voice low and deadly. "You are my wife, Victoria. Mine. If you walk out that door then we're done. But you're not taking Ryan and Evelyn. You think I'll let you take them? No."
"Don't do this," Victoria said, turning around to look back at him, arms flapping by her side. "What are you hoping to get from this, John?"
"In time, we'll be how we were," he said confidently. "That's all it takes. You just need time to calm down." But he wasn't sure that was true. He didn't know if it could be. He stalked towards her, voice low and deadly. "We've been here before. You feeling betrayed. But you'll get over it. You'll get over it because we belong together. We might be toxic. We might be incompatible. But we love each other. Despite everything we love each other and you are not throwing that away."
"I'm not the one throwing it away," Victoria defended herself.
"No, you're not," Homelander confirmed, "because you're not going anywhere else, Victoria. You're staying here. You're not abandoning our children and if you think of fleeing…taking them and going somewhere else…hiding…I will kill anyone who stands in the way. I will scorch this entire earth. There will be no line I won't cross. I'll spill blood. I'll laser anyone who dares to come between us."
His eyes were glimmering with pure rage and Victoria recoiled back from him in fear. She was trying to do everything in her power to stay brave, but the look on his face was what she could only describe as pure madness.
"You're insane," Victoria whispered in a breath.
"No, sweetheart, I'm in love," he retorted. "So before you walk out that door, what's it going to be?"
"You're giving me no choice," Victoria said, eyes now watering with tears. "I can't…" she stammered and Homelander nodded, cupping her cheek in his fingertips, thumb roaming over her cheek.
"Just give it time, Vic, you'll come round," Homelander said to her. "You always do."
"No," Victoria said confidently. "No, I won't."
"We'll see," was all Homelander said to her. "Now, what I want from you is no more lies. I want to know where you are at every hour of the day. I want you to stand by my side and smile for the cameras. I want you to dangle off my arm and look pretty. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?"
Victoria said nothing, anger and pain coursing through her veins as she realised she was trapped again. He moved his finger and thumb to pinch her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. He saw that she was crying, tears streaming down her cheeks that were tinted red.
"I said, do you understand me?" Homelander demanded from her.
"Yes," Victoria breathed out.
His smile widened. "Good girl," he said and he bent down, kissing her lips for a brief moment and then running his thumb over her bottom lip, picking his other hand up and brushing his fingers through her hair. "My good girl."
…
Victoria wasn't entirely sure what he thought was going to happen, but he seemed to think that things were going to be normal. Victoria, on the other hand, was trying to plot ways to get him to stop that wouldn't put her at risk of having him take her children from her. Ryan wasn't hers and she knew that. If she tried to leave then she would have no legal right to claim custody of him. Then again, did she truly think Homelander would go through the courts? If he got his way then everyone would be under his control, including the justice system.
"Did you put him up to it?"
Victoria had almost forgotten about Ryan's TV show and his outburst. She exhaled a sharp breath and shook her head slowly. She'd gone back to the penthouse while Homelander claimed he had business to finish. Victoria wasn't entirely sure where he was going and she didn't ask. She'd put Evelyn to bed and had sat up with Ryan for a few hours, watching some Christmas movie that neither of them seemed to be paying attention to before he went to bed.
Waiting with bated breath for her husband to come back, Victoria had gone to her bedroom and had started to get ready for bed. She'd showered and tied her hair into a ponytail to avoid getting it wet. She had been in the bedroom, wearing her long-sleeved pink and green striped pyjamas when he came storming in.
"Put who up to what?" she asked him. She was too tired for another argument, the jet-lag really kicking in.
"Ryan," he growled his son's name.
"I didn't put him up to anything," Victoria defended herself from his accusation. "I'm not going to stand here and say that I dissuaded him from it. He's…he's not like you, John. He's not going to stand up and say something that he disagrees with and I know you might be angry with him, but I'm proud of him. I'm proud of what he did because he's right when he says that family is sometimes all you've got. I thought that you would've understood that?"
Homelander had to admit that he had no smart comeback to her comment. He just stood there as his wife picked up the edge of the quilt and tugged it back from the mattress. She just wanted to crawl into bed and forget the entire day, despite the fact she knew that her problems would still be there when she woke up in the morning.
"Clearly he's not scared of disobeying orders," Homelander muttered and he tugged his gloves from his fingers. A part of Victoria had considered taking the quilt and going to sleep on the sofa, but she knew what response that would get from him. "Wonder where he gets that from."
"I'd say you're pretty good at doing what the fuck you want," Victoria muttered under her breath, but he still heard her. Glaring at her as he tugged his belt off, he saw her plump up her pillows and then laid on her back.
"You really want to push me tonight?" Homelander questioned from her. "I've been more than lenient with you, Victoria."
"My hero," Victoria mumbled, unable to help herself and Homelander left his suit on a pile on the floor by her vanity. He moved to the bed, completely naked and tugged the covers back. He felt the annoyance inside of him bubble up to the surface at her attitude. He knew that she could be like this. She could be snarky when she wanted to and clearly that was the mood she was in.
"You know, I don't enjoy this," Homelander said to her, sitting up against the headboard. "I don't enjoy fighting with you. I don't enjoy knowing that you're upset with me."
"How do you do that?" Victoria questioned from him, pushing herself onto her forearms, turning her to the side to look him in the eye, her brow arching. "How do you turn this onto me? I'm always the bad guy whenever something goes to shit or we fight. You can never take responsibility that it's your actions that have done this to us. You're the one who broke us. You're the one who ruined us…and I've given you so many chances to stop. I told you in London…I told you that we could go and it could just be us. I begged for you not to ruin what we have, but you did it. You destroyed it."
"I didn't do anything to us," he responded. "It's not as if I've cheated on you or done anything to ruin our family. I'm trying to keep our family safe. It's you who is blinkered. You can't see that."
"I can't put aside the fact that you want to become a dictator based on the fact that you love me and can be a good husband. I can't excuse that."
"You've excused my behaviour in the past. You'll excuse it again. You'll get over this. We'll be together and we'll be happy," Homelander said confidently. "There's no other option, Victoria. I'm not divorcing you. I'm not going to give you that."
"So, we'll just have a miserable marriage."
"That's down to you," Homelander shrugged his shoulders. "It's down to you how you want to behave now, Vic. I can be here for you. I can be the husband you love…who protects you…who sees the real you…or I can be a monster. It's all down to you. I can be whoever you want me to be."
Victoria shook her head and pushed the quilt back. Homelander sighed.
"Where are you going?" he asked her as she climbed out of bed and stood up tall, hands tossing her hair off to the side. She picked up her pillows and her phone along with her glass of water. "Seriously? You're going to sleep on the couch?"
"I can't sleep next to you," Victoria said to him and he rolled his eyes.
"We both know you'll be back here in an instant," Homelander retorted. "You won't be able to hold out forever. We both know that."
She didn't respond to him. Instead, she just carried her things downstairs to the living room. She laid her pillows down onto the sofa and grabbed a blanket from the back of the sofa. Putting her phone and water on the coffee table, Victoria laid down. She looked to the side, her eyes darting over the Christmas tree and the presents underneath it and she just cried. She sobbed for what she'd lost and, more worryingly, she sobbed because she couldn't see a way out now.
…
It was Christmas Eve and Victoria had to confess that she wasn't feeling entirely in the festive mood. She had spent the morning with Ryan and Evie, baking mince pies and cookies in the kitchen as Christmas songs played out of the speaker. Ryan had beaten the mixture for Victoria as Evelyn sat on the chair at the breakfast bar and cut the cookies into different shapes for Santa. Victoria had wiped flour off of her nose and she'd giggled as Ryan handed her a spoonful of mixture to eat. Victoria wanted to keep the two of them happy. She wanted them to stay unburdened over what was going on. Inside of the penthouse, she knew that it was down to her to keep the kids safe.
She would prefer to avoid Homelander if possible, but she guessed she wouldn't be able to do that forever. He had already told her that he intended on being there for Christmas Day and how he was looking forward to it. Victoria didn't know how she was going to be able to go a full day without sniping at him, but she knew she had to try. This was her life now. There was no supe-killing virus without starting a pandemic. There was no bringing Homelander down. He'd kill anyone who stood in his way.
"Dad didn't seem mad at me this morning," Ryan commented as Victoria bent down and put the tray of cookies in the oven, setting the timer on the screen. Ryan was stood by the fridge, putting things in the dishwasher as Evelyn coloured in her book at the breakfast bar.
"Your dad isn't mad," Victoria said, not entirely sure if that was the truth or not. "He understands that you did what you had to do."
Victoria didn't want to tell him that Homelander wasn't mad because he had other things on his mind. Plus, Victoria hoped that what she'd said to him the night before about family had resonated. She didn't know if it had, but a part of her guessed that Homelander didn't want an argument with his son considering his wife wasn't entirely on his side anymore.
"I just…I love him…but there's times when I don't agree with him," Ryan confessed to Victoria.
"Listen to me, Ryan," Victoria urged from him, tugging the apron off of her and leaving it on the worktop. She crouched down so that she was his height, her hands holding his shoulders to steady herself. "I understand that, okay? There are things that your dad does that I don't agree with either. He knows that too."
"Does he get mad with you?"
"Sometimes," Victoria said. She was hardly going to divulge their marital arguments to him. "And there are things that he does that I really struggle with and I…I find it difficult to reconcile with the man I thought I married. But I…deep down I know that I have to try and stay true to who I am, okay? I know that I have my own thoughts and beliefs and I have to keep them with me. I can't let them go. And I want you to remember that. You're a good kid. Deep down, you know what the right thing to do is. You've proved that so many times. You did it on that TV show. You showed it when Koy died."
Ryan blinked at that and sniffed. Victoria squeezed his shoulders even tighter.
"And whenever your dad wants you to do something that you might not agree with, I will fight your corner, okay? I will back you," Victoria said, "because you can count on me. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do…and if that annoys your dad…if it angers him…then I will deal with it. I will deal with him."
"I can't ask you to do that," Ryan said.
"You're not asking," Victoria said, hands running up and down his upper arms as she shook her head. "I love you, okay? I love you and I'll always look after you."
Ryan just nodded his head at her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She hugged him back and she knew that she had to protect Ryan from his own father.
…
"I suppose I should offer you a congratulations."
Victoria's tone was sarcastic, but she could hardly help herself. She had been in the elevator on the way down to the foyer. She had to dash out quickly as one of Evelyn's presents had been delivered to the store and she needed to pick it up before they closed. She'd told Homelander where she was going and he'd warned her against making any detours. She'd left Ryan with Evelyn, trusting that he'd be okay for an hour while she was gone. But then the elevator had stopped on ninety-ninth and Firecracker had stepped in after a moment of hesitation and a look of disapproving.
She'd flipped her hair behind her shoulders, arms folded over her chest when Victoria spoke, unable to stop herself.
"Having me followed…that really was an ingenious idea," Victoria said to her. "You're one step closer to having him to yourself."
"He needed to see you for who you really were," Firecracker retorted. "You don't respect him."
"You're right, I don't," Victoria said on that point and Firecracker had to admit she was slightly shocked. Turning to face her, Victoria arched her brow in her direction. "You think I don't know about your plan to take Singer out and install Neuman instead? I know about it. I also know that it's insanity."
"You would because you don't understand," Firecracker said. "Homelander is trying to save this country. You should count yourself lucky that he's married to you. You don't want to know what would happen to you if you weren't."
Victoria arched her brow. "What? He'd throw me into one of those prisons he's borrowing from Tek-Knight?" Victoria guessed and, again, a look of shock took over Firecracker's face. Victoria chuckled at it. "I know about it. I know about his plan…every aspect of it. But so do you because he's trusting you now after he got rid of Sage. I think that might have been a mistake. Between the two of you…well…I'm not sure you're cut out for world domination."
"You little bitch," Firecracker seethed. "You think he'd be happy to hear you talk like that? You think that just because you're married to him that makes you untouchable? You keep going like that and how long do you think it will be before he decides he's had enough? He can only handle so much betrayal and disrespect."
"You'd think that, but he always takes me back," Victoria said. "It's his need for love. His need for someone to be there for him…and that's always been me. Don't get me wrong, he might go for you at some point. I mean, we're sure as hell not going to be sleeping together again," Victoria said, scoffing at the idea. "So, you might get your chance with him, but I'm the mother of his daughter. I'm raising his son. He won't get rid of me, but you…you he'd get rid of. You'd be the side piece."
"Not if he knew that I was better for him."
"What? Because you lactate?" Victoria wondered from her. "Did you think that I didn't see it that day I walked in on the two of you? I saw it and he wasn't interested. You might think he wants that and I'm not denying that he does have some weird…kinks," Victoria chose to say, "but it won't be enough. You won't be enough for him. Hell, even I'm not enough for him. If I was do you think I'd be in the elevator with you on Christmas Eve? If I was enough then we'd have left Vought a long time ago. But the truth is that nothing is enough for him…reaching the top of Vought…having a family…he won't stop and you'd do well not to get involved with him any further than you have done."
The elevator came to the ground floor and Victoria stepped out first, not waiting for Firecracker. She left the Tower and walked towards the department store. She had her coat buttoned to her chin and her gloves on her hands with her hands in her pockets. She felt her satchel swing against her hip and she exhaled a deep breath, seeing the cloud form in front of her. Walking down the sidewalk, Victoria tried not to be jealous of the people she saw. There were clearly young couples in love who were walking arm-in-arm, carrying bags of last-minute presents. There were moms and dads frantically dashing into shops, no doubt looking for the toy they'd forgotten to get their kids. Co-workers stumbled out of bars after having one too many, laughing and joking with inside jokes.
Everyone was enjoying their celebrations without know what was coming. They had no idea what was being planned and were ignorant. Victoria was jealous of them, but she also felt guilty too. She knew what was coming and what was she doing? Baking mince pies and cookies. She wasn't standing up to her husband. She could. She could try and do the right thing. But then she'd lose her daughter and Ryan. Homelander would take them from her. He'd make sure that he would and how could she fight him? His entire trial had been rigged to make sure that he'd been found innocent. He'd made a mockery of the justice system.
But then what example was she setting for her daughter? What example was she setting for Evie if she just sat back and let this happen? She didn't know what to do for the best. In her mind, there was no winning.
Coming to the department store, Victoria stepped inside and headed to the collection desk. The store was still full of people, but the shelves were almost empty and the tannoy announced that it would be shutting in another hour. Victoria walked by the makeup and perfume counters, hands in her pockets and gaze set in front of her as she took the escalators to the toy department.
"Don't freak out."
That was easier said than done when a voice whispered in her ear. She startled at the sound of it and turned her head over her shoulder to see Alex, Hughie and Annie on the escalator behind her.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Victoria wondered, stepping off of it.
"Well…we might be following you," Alex confessed to her. "But we need to talk to you."
"I can't talk to any of you," Victoria replied quickly and she moved towards the collection desk, not looking at any of them. "If he finds out you're here then God knows what he'll do. Do you not get it? I'm on thin ice with him. He knows that I know."
"And you're still with him?" Hughie checked with her.
"It's hard to leave him when he has Ryan and Evie," Victoria replied and she tugged her phone from her pocket and unlocked the screen, looking for the collection email. "Seriously, I need you to get out of here before anyone spots you."
"Just…take this," Alex said and he forced a piece of paper into her hands. "Please."
She looked him in the eye and she saw that there was a longing there. She just swallowed hard and watched as the three of them left her alone in the queue. She uncurled the paper and saw that it was just an address. Swiping onto maps on her phone, Victoria typed the address in. It was some abandoned warehouse somewhere behind the department store and down an alleyway. Victoria knew she shouldn't go, but there had been something in Alex's gaze that told her she should go.
She collected Evelyn's present, carrying it out in a shiny red bag in her hands before she looked at the map again. She shook her head and followed the beeping blue dot. Arriving at the warehouse, Victoria looked around and it was completely empty. The alleyway had flickering lamps and the chain fence lining it was broken. Victoria took a moment before she noticed the door open and Hughie held it in his grip. He nodded to her and she walked towards him. Stepping by him, Victoria moved into the empty space. A part of her expected to see her brother, but he was nowhere to be seen.
"Thanks for coming," Hughie said to her and she looked to Alex as he stood next to Annie. He just nodded once at her and Victoria glanced between the three of them.
"What's going on?" Victoria asked him.
"We have a proposition," Hughie said.
It was then when Victoria Neuman walked out of the shadows, pushing back a plastic curtain. Her blue heels clicked against the concrete floor and she wore an electric blue suit and white shirt.
"What is this?" Victoria questioned, placing the bag she was holding on the ground.
"Listen before you jump to conclusions," Alex urged from her, holding his hands up. Victoria shook her head and pointed to Neuman.
"If he knows I'm with her-"
"-He'll kill both of us," Neuman said to her. "I know. Trust me, I've thought about this insane plan for days. Chances are you'll say no to it and no one would blame you. I mean, fuck me, if I was married to him then I'd probably never go against him."
"You want me to go against him?" Victoria demanded from them.
"Look, I know it's a big ask," Annie said, stepping towards her friend and reaching out for her. "I know that it's scary and I know that you might not think it's possible, but…but we can't sit by idly while Homelander tries to kill Singer."
Victoria glanced to Neuman and cocked her head. "I thought that was what you wanted?" she checked with her.
"What I want is my daughter to grow up in a world where she's safe," Neuman replied. "I think we both have that in common, don't we?"
"The issue is that he can take my daughter from me."
"Just like he can take hundreds of children from their parents," Hughie said. "That TV show Ryan did would see families separated…people sticking up for Starlight would also be thrown in jails…those are all someone's children. There someone's mom…dad…sister…brother...aunt…this is so much bigger than any individual and you know that, Victoria. You both know that and perhaps, together, you can be enough to bring down Homelander and Vought."
"You're serious?" Victoria checked with him and then glanced to Alex, looking at him and shaking her head sadly. "You know I can't," she whispered to him. "I can't leave Evie and Ryan with him. I can't let him turn them into him. I can't."
"I know," Alex said and stepped towards her. "But you can't persuade him to stop, can you?"
Her silence spoke volumes. Annie wrapped her arm around Victoria's waist, holding her tightly to her side and closing her eyes for a few moments.
"Look, there's ways we can keep Evie and Ryan safe," Hughie said. "We can keep them from him."
"It's not possible," Victoria said. "Do you know what he's threatened to do if I take them from him and run? He's threatened to kill anyone who stands in his way. He's threatened to scorch the entire planet to look for us. I can't do that. I can't have any more blood on my hands. Enough people have died because of me being with him."
"And a lot more people are going to die if he does this," Hughie said and he stood in front of her as Alex stood back. He knew that she wasn't going to do this. He knew that she wasn't going to risk leaving Evelyn. "Look, I know it's scary, but he would never hurt you. If the two of you spoke out…told the nation what he was intending to do…it would end him. It would stop him."
"Do you seriously think that?" Victoria retorted. "Hughie, I don't think it would. I think even if we went on TV and told people the truth, he'd find a way to worm his way out of it. I've never seen him like this. This man isn't the same man I fell in love with five years ago. This is a man so hellbent on getting what he wants that nothing is going to stop him. Do you think I understand it? Do you think I understand why he wants to do this? I don't. I don't get it, but I've never understood the need for power."
"But that's the issue," Neuman spoke up then. "You have more power than you could ever understand. People respect you. People listen to you. If you spoke against him then he'd never hurt you. Would he take your kids from you? Probably. But he would never hurt them, not his own flesh and blood."
"And you're okay with this plan?"
"I'm okay with none of this," Neuman said. "Why do you think I'm here? I'm desperate. If I get in power then I'm his puppet and I can't let that happen. For Zoe's sake I can't let it happen."
"And for Evie and Ryan's sake, I can't do this."
"You know it's the right thing to do," Hughie said in exasperation.
"I know!" Victoria snapped back at him, "but the fact is that I can't risk them. I can't risk losing them…letting Homelander manipulate Ryan…and yes, we could foil this assassination attempt. We could try to do that, but I don't think it would be enough. I think if he has to then he will kill Singer himself. Do you not get it? We can't stop him…and it makes me feel sick. It makes me feel sick to know that there's way out…that I'm being a coward…that I could maybe do something and, even if it doesn't work out, I'd know that I'd done the right thing. But I can't. I can't because he…I can't lose those kids. I can't lose them."
"Vic-"
"-No," Victoria interrupted Alex before he could say anything. She picked the bag up once more and moved from Annie's arm, turning to leave without another word. Hughie started to go after her, but Neuman placed a hand onto his forearm.
"It's not happening," she said to him. "You can chase after her. You can beg her. She won't listen. Who can blame her? She's under his thumb. You don't know what it's like to be under his thumb."
…
Coming back into the apartment, Victoria placed the bag down by the sofa. Homelander was sat on the sofa, foot on the coffee table and glass of milk in his hand. Unbuttoning her coat, Victoria hung it up by the door and pulled her ankle boots from her feet.
"I think that is supposed to be for Santa," she informed her husband, pointing to the milk he was holding.
"Where have you been?" he wondered from her.
"Evelyn's toy came back in stock and so I went to pick it up," Victoria said. "Where are the kids anyway?"
"Ryan is with Evelyn playing upstairs," Homelander said.
"I should go and get Evie bathed and ready for bed," Victoria commented. "And can you not put your feet on the table? Especially when you're wearing your shoes."
Moving to the spiral staircase, Victoria placed a hand on the railing and was about to start moving upwards before he spoke to her. "Do you want to make this harder for yourself?" he wondered and she knew that he knew where she'd been. She just didn't know how he knew. She turned her head over her shoulder and saw him cock his head, gaze firm.
"I didn't say yes," Victoria said to him.
"I know you didn't," Homelander said with a nod and Victoria abandoned her plans to go upstairs. Instead, she turned back to face him, walking further into the living room and dropping her hands against her hips. "But you still went to them, didn't you? You still decided to go."
"Out of curiosity," Victoria said. "And how do you know, anyway?"
"Sit down," Homelander demanded from her and she moved to sit on the edge of the sofa, perching there and smoothing out the short a-line skirt she wore. She laced her fingers together on her lap. Homelander moved closer to her and he used the back of his bare hand to brush her hair behind her shoulders. "I told you that I wouldn't let you out of my sight," he warned her, "and that's true. You see, I do trust you. I trust you not to betray me again because you know what's on the line. You know what will happen and, despite that moral compass of yours, you'd never be parted from those kids."
"Then what do you want from me?" Victoria wondered from him. "I didn't go against you and you know that I didn't."
"But were you going to tell me where you'd been?"
"Honestly, probably not," Victoria said, "but you know why."
"Because you don't want me to kill your little boyfriend?" Homelander asked.
"Or Hughie or Annie," Victoria said. "Fuck, even Neuman. I don't want anyone else to die on my watch, don't you get it? You might be comfortable with killing, but I'm not. You know that about me."
And he did know that about her. He knew how she hated violence. He found that ironic at times considering how she wanted to make those who had hurt her pay. He suspected a part of her might enjoy bloodlust if she experienced it first-hand. His wife was a morally dubious character at times.
"You know, things don't need to be like this," Homelander promised her, his fingers running up and down her neck. "You know that they don't have to be. They can be good. We can be happy. You know that you love me, Vic, just like I love you. We can get through this."
"You think I don't want to think that?" Victoria asked and she searched his gaze. "I want to get through this, John. I want to be with you and I want to be happy, but I can't be. I can't be because what you're talking about is martial law. You're talking about running a country through undemocratic means and that…that terrifies me."
"But it shouldn't because you're going to be safe, Vic. I'm going to protect you and our kids," Homelander said to her.
"You've said," Victoria said in a deadpan voice to him and she moved to stand up, but he grabbed her arm. His hold on her was strong and she tried to pull away from him. "John, let go of my arm," she demanded from him.
"Maybe I should go and kill them. Maybe that would make you see that I'm serious?"
"I said get off of me!" Victoria snapped at him again, trying to wriggle away. But he was too strong for her. He stepped closer to her, teeth bared as he snarled down at her and Victoria cowered back from him.
"You go behind my back. You keep secrets from me. You promised me loyalty. You promised me the truth," Homelander seethed and Victoria felt her eyes begin to water as she tried not to cry from how hard he was holding her arm. "And that's what I expect from you from now on. I fucking love you. I do everything for you. I keep you safe. I protect you. I gave you everything you could ever long for. I fixed you when you came to me. I am the only person who sees you, who knows you, who loves you for you. I give you everything and it's not enough, is it?"
Victoria moved her free hand to his chest, trying to push on him. "John, please!" Victoria begged of him.
"I just want you to love me!" he snapped at her. "I want you to be my wife. I want you to stand by my side. And you will. You will do that and you will be happy. We will be happy and you will make sure of it!"
"Get off of her!"
Victoria hadn't even seen Ryan come down the stairs. She hadn't seen his eyes glow red or the blast that came from them that went straight over her shoulder and hit his father in the chest. Homelander stumbled back and his grip on Victoria relented until she wriggled free, cradling her arm in her hand and stepping back. Ryan looked to his dad and moved towards him.
"Don't hurt her!" he snapped at her. "Why do you do that? Why do you hurt people?" he demanded to know.
"Ryan," Homelander spoke his son's name, but his tone wasn't one of pleading for forgiveness. Instead, he sounded angry with him. And he was. He was angry that he had dared to go against him and use his powers against him. "What do you think you're playing at?"
"You told me that we had to protect her," Ryan said and Victoria looked to the little boy before she moved to stand in front of him, refusing to let Homelander hurt him. She hoped that he wouldn't, but a part of her didn't know considering how volatile her husband actually was. "And she's…she's my step-mom…I love her…and you can't hurt her."
"I wasn't hurting her," Homelander said. "Victoria and I were having a grown-up discussion. How dare you use your powers against me? I am your father. I am your dad."
"You were hurting her!" Ryan snapped back at him. "I heard you."
"You're a kid. You don't understand."
"I understand enough to know that when you love someone you don't act like that," Ryan snapped.
"You have no idea, Ryan," Homelander said with a firm shake of his head and he moved towards him, pointing at him. Victoria remained stood in front of him and she pushed him further behind her. Looking at her husband, she shook her head firmly and refused to let him near Ryan.
"Stop it," she demanded from her husband. "This isn't helping. None of this is helping."
"He's an ungrateful little-"
"-You're a monster!" Ryan interrupted with a snap.
"You think I'm a monster? You have no fucking idea what is going on out there. Everything I do is for you! It is to keep you and your sister safe! And you have the audacity to throw that back in my face-"
"-Enough!" Victoria shouted at him and she turned to look back at Ryan. Crouching down, she placed her hands on his cheeks, holding them in her grip. "Ryan, sweetie, I'm fine, okay? I promise you that I'm okay."
Homelander watched as his son looked to Victoria and she kept stroking his head and nodding her head. "I promise you," she said again. "I just need a minute with your father, alright? I'll come upstairs in a little while and we can talk, okay? Just go and look after Evie for me, please?"
Ryan hesitated, but Victoria nodded encouragingly and guided him to turn around and go back up the stairs. Victoria waited until he climbed to the top before looking to Homelander and flapping her arms by her side. "Is that what you wanted?" she wondered from him and he saw her cheeks were stained with tears. "You almost broke my arm and your son saw you. Is that enough for tonight, John, or would you like another go?"
Homelander's teeth ground together and Victoria just shook her head at him. She knew that they weren't going to get anywhere and she needed to talk to Ryan. And so she left her husband in the living room and headed on upstairs, wincing as she heard something smash in the living room. Coming to the landing, Victoria stood in the corridor and placed a hand over her mouth to try and stop herself from hyperventilating as Evelyn began crying and the door to the penthouse slammed shut.
….
A/N: So it is all kicking off as we head into the final chapters...anything you'd like to see? The response to the last chapter was the most reviews I'd had! It meant a lot and as always, would love your thoughts!