Raha's freak-out was cut short by the delivery of furniture he ordered the previous day. Which he would remember about if... Well, how did his night and morning go.
Honestly, he was grateful for the interruption, if he felt beyond awkward asking the delivery crew to wait while he cleaned the sofa as best he could under the circumstances, then rushed to shower.
A few other things also quickly became clear.
First off, apparently while – as he was told – he didn't see, hear or feel Senri before, it not only wasn't the case now but he was acutely aware... hyperaware of his shadow. It felt almost like a sixth sense buzzing inside him into quite a nagging pull.
Another piece of novelty that he wasn't previously aware of was that his demon had no clue about boundaries. At least Raha's and especially in the case of physical ones – or perhaps, a thought that made him feel absurdly guilty – he was that absurdly happy about the fact that he could register his presence now.
Or maybe simply what Raha's senses registered before as 'being watched,' was pretty literally far more physical than he could feel.
Honestly, his head was about to explode so he settled into not thinking – for the time being – and didn't protest – as he should – the way his shadow followed him into the shower.
Both the bathroom adjacent to the bedroom and the shower cabin inside it were pretty spacious, but his eyebrows still rose to his hairline when Senri followed him in as if it was the most natural thing to do. He had to consciously give his brain a pass and clear his head when it registered how those massive leathery wings phased through the material world. He decided to focus on things at hand – delivery – and leave freaking out for when that's done.
Of course, he couldn't predict – though he should – that while he was determined to wash as quickly as humanly possible, his shadow would have different ideas. And another thing he learned about his lover's or his own fucked up brain was that it went completely offline whenever Senri touched him. He didn't know if he could blame it on the novelty of it or – which he refused to think about – the demon's earlier ridiculous claims... but the moment that absurdly sexy tail wrapped around him into a possessive leash, he was done for.
After that it felt perfectly natural to let his lover growled praises go straight to his head – and dick – while Senri simply picked him up. He didn't even feel the cold tiles against his back, too distracted by that raspy and noisy purring that filled his insides with fire as much as his shadow's divine flavor. He had no clue – or cared, honestly – if it was natural or really some kind of venom, because the moment Senri's sandpaper tongue filled his mouth Raha was more than receptive to the high it provided.
Pah, he drowned both hands in Senri's dark hair, greedily drinking into that addictive venom, and barely registered the way his body wrapped around the demon's with ease. Only after a long and dizzying moment, did he realize that he didn't feel the chill of tiles because the coil of his lover's tail at his lower back and Senri's arm against his shoulder blades kept his back off the wall.
His shade's tail overall seemed very different from his own. Not only in appearance – duh – and the fact that it was much longer. By the way, its end again curled into a collar around his throat and blunt tip pressed under his chin, he had a vague idea that perhaps it had not much less of a 'gripping' ability than anyone's else arms. And seemingly like the frame of those massive wings, it was covered by those intricately patterned scales, opaque like onyx when damp yet somehow still feeling like silk against his skin. All the while Senri's skin felt hotter than the stream of water cascading over them when he wrapped his free, clawed hand around Raha's hip. Then his clarity hazed worse when his demon growled in his mouth, shifted between his legs, and swallowed his moan when his dick pushed up inside him with that shocking ease like last night.
Raha had sex with men – and bottomed – before but with Senri it felt completely different. He had somewhat fuzzy thought that earlier – perhaps when he wasn't aroused – despite being quite obviously and literally naked, he couldn't even see his lover's genitals during their 'chat.' Only those seemingly delicate scales covering his crotch and making him look almost genderless despite otherwise his body being very male. But now – inside him – his demon's cock felt massive, giving his senses that overwhelming feedback of being stuffed beyond anything he ever felt before.
Soon he couldn't catch a breath so he pulled back from Senri's mouth, panting raggedly and swallowing hausts of droplets alongside air. His demon used it when Raha's head thumped against the wall and bit him. He arched with a deafening moan when that mind-numbing sizzle of pleasure scorched his nerve endings and then nearly yowled when Senri purposefully slowly rolled his hips, purring louder into his skin while his dick scrapped his insides. Out and in, while Raha whimpered desperately with the maddening sensation. In search of purchase his hands locked around the base of Senri's wings and his ankles locked over the base of his reptile tail as he fought to make sense of the sensation.
His brain briefly went online and flashed with a memory of a dildo he had once seen somewhere, one covered in silicone spikes. It still didn't precisely fit, but...
It was all clarity he was given before the air rushed out of his lungs violently when Senri's dick pushed in again, stuffing him. He couldn't help coming, honestly fucking stunned by the level of pleasure and grateful for the steady grip of his lover's tail and arms flexing around his body when it went limp and his brain logged off. Or just fried – it felt like – unable to process the overstimulation.
Some unknown moment later he hazily registered the idea that his body peaked – whatever he wanted or not – every single time Senri's dick pushed in – as if it was putting pressure on some 'god-tier orgasm' button inside him he was never aware of having and maybe simply none of his previous lovers could even think of reaching.
That thought made him giggle, completely high out of his mind, and only vaguely aware of his utterly wanton moans while his demon fucked him into accepting the 'possibility' that perhaps that idea of them being a 'set' couldn't be that completely impossible as he thought. It didn't feel normal... but what if his idea of 'normal' was off...?
...what if he's saying the truth and I was never normal, to begin with...?
The way Senri's embrace tensed and the grip of his tail grew much tighter around his chest and delicately around his throat was Raha's only warning. Then with another and much harder thrust – and relieved snarl over his bite – his shadow's dick simultaneously punctured something inside him and swelled, locking... and Raha's ears only vaguely registered his own inhumane screech as fucking scorching hot cum flooded his insides. It felt like that sizzle but amped up to fucking eleven and he passed out... or so he thought numbly sometime later.
Or he simply went insane sometime yesterday and was yet to wake up from this dizzying high in a mental facility or something. Why else, when his overwhelmed senses somewhat fuzzily returned, he discovered that his fangs were lodged firmly in Senri's shoulder? Pulsing – which felt weird as fuck – while his shadow whined blissfully. With those membranous wings now tightly wrapped around his back, and gratefully nuzzling against his bitten shoulder, purring his raspy happiness like a chainsaw, Senri seemed as high as he felt with every tremor rocking his whole body in rhythm of his wild heartbeat.
„My mate," his lover's favorite word made him pull back with a loud gasp then staring numbly at his blinding if bloodied grin, he experimentally pushed the tip of his tongue over – what felt like – far too fucking long fang. He frowned with confusion, leaning back against the heated wall of Senri's leathery wings as his shaky hand went toward his mouth. And frowned only deeper, realizing that while his shadow had four fangs (two up and down), his mouth now felt like he had eight (one extra besides those corresponding with his lover's.)
„Put... Put me down," he breathed, letting that hand drop. He needed a mirror to confirm what he was feeling... and what the fuck was going on with his body overall.
Senri pouted at him, but both his wings and tail unfurled and he was very carefully helped to find his wobbly footing. Pushing his wet hair back from his face, he blindly turned off the water and wiped his face, then reminded of earlier hazy thought, his eyes snapped wide and toward his lover's crotch – again smooth. He blinked rapidly, then wiped his eyes and looked up at Senri's painfully beautiful face when his shaky fingers gingerly brushed the swat of those delicate scales between his legs.
„Where... where did it go?" He stammered, feeling like a complete moron when his face grew hotter like lava. Senri looked momentarily distracted from his pout with his question and blinked rapidly before his eyes focused on Raha's fingers.
„Where...? Ah," he looked up and snorted toward the redhead's expression, chuckling when it was his turn to pout – his whole face entirely too fucking hot! „Inside, obviously," his bat-like wings fluttered, shaking off the water before he pulled open the door of the cabin and stepped out. Then he offered him his clawed hand and smiled when Raha accepted – if only because his knees felt like water. „People of this domain are built all wrong, Raha," his shadow shook his head, with very noticeable disgust now on his face. „Weak, pathetic maggots, having absolutely no sense."
„Gee, thanks," he muttered and sighed when Senri blinked rapidly and looked at him with confusion. „I'm human, remember?"
„You're not," his demon growled, then sighed and shook his head but obediently moved aside when Raha nudged him out of the way. The mirror was predictably fogged over, so he grabbed the towel off the hanger and wiped the condensation impatiently. „We're Incubi, Raha."
„What is an Incubi, though?" He asked, then bared his teeth toward the still slightly blurry reflection – and braced heavily against the sink when what he felt proved to be quite correct – eight razor-sharp fangs – he stared numbly for a moment before his mouth snapped shut and he looked at his shadow with a frown. „What the fuck is going on...?"
That question felt especially nagging what that 'something' inside him chose that moment to move, making him pale as his hand involuntarily snapped toward his abdomen and Senri's face bloomed into the most shit-eating grin he had seen his entire life.
That called for distraction and avoidance, so he shook his head when Senri next opened his mouth. He didn't look at him while he rushed out of the bathroom and dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie – determined to focus on anything but sinking thought that he might not only not be 'human' – a general term used for various races of his world – but that perhaps that 'moving' was precisely what it suggested – no matter how difficult his brain found the idea.
Like he told Detective Deveroix last morning, by the time he was sixteen, Raha was completely desensitized toward death. He just found it hard to care, honestly, when it seemed like his shadow never actually killed someone who didn't attempt to attack him. Or upset him.
Before that mark – and the moment he pulled out of the study attempting to discover the reason behind his situation – he tried to keep his shadow from harming people around him. Begged it even – more times than he could count – but it refused to cooperate whenever his safety or feelings were threatened.
Despite what one might think, he wasn't coerced into that study, but – predictably – paid to let those ridiculous scientists let themselves be deleted – more often than not. All he did during hours of their 'tests' was sitting on a chair in a painfully bright, empty room with white walls that every day turned into a macabre display of blood and guts while they tried to figure out a way to quite literally poke him with a knife.
He didn't know the precise number of how many people died during that experiment, as there seemed to be no end to the stream of volunteers willing to toss themselves at his shadow's claws. It didn't matter if it was one individual or – at some points – groups, because nobody could get within a range of two steps of his position with anything potentially sharp. The bullets couldn't reach him, either – now he vaguely suspected due to Senri's wings – and after the first trial involving guns, someone who entered that room with one died at the threshold – proving to (excited by it) scientists that his shadow was 'learning' so it had to be an intelligent being. That notion was reinforced by the fact that soon after that discovery, nobody in that underground facility could wear anything even resembling a gun without ending with their throat torn out. At this point, Raha resigned and left – having learned from the whole experience not much more about his shadow than he already knew, and genuinely bored of watching the gore.
Sure they tried to stop him from leaving – offering him dizzying numbers of cash – but by that point, he had enough saved and nobody could physically stop him from leaving someplace he didn't want to be at. Afterward, he guessed probably he involuntarily gave them a 'free' bonus in their studies with the way no confinement they tried could stop him from simply leaving the facility.
Raha after that suspected that there were always people around him watching his every move and probably reporting to some hush-hush agency or something, but so long he was left in peace he didn't give a fuck.
He was seventeen the first time he thought that he fell in love, and like he also told the Detective, that ended poorly – if he still didn't blame his shadow for that experience.
The girl, Sarah – his classmate at the time – was a cute thing with silver-blonde hair, green eyes, and a curvy figure that made his young heart pound and turned him into a fumbling moron. He still smiled ironically at that whenever he thought about his first crush, considering that maybe it would spare her if he noticed sooner that she only returned his interest after noticing his then quite heavy tendency to spend cash earned from that study. Shrink, he voluntarily talked to whenever he was in a shitty mood – online only – suggested that he was compensating for his isolation by half-consciously attempting to buy others affection... which probably wasn't that far off.
Well, Sarah in the end turned out to be no different from an especially expensive whore, if he didn't even get sex out of the whole mess – he was that blinded and stupid that he let her string him along until his wallet ran dry. He even believed her blushes and assurances that he was the love of her life but sex had to wait until marriage... until he accidentally caught her getting nailed by the top football player in the locker room.
He still wasn't sure – or cared – if she planned to get caught and if the guy was her boyfriend or was as used as him... but that was the first time he felt wild satisfaction watching his shadow tear them both to shreds. If that experience gave him something, it was the idea that his shade was the only being in the whole goddamn world that he could trust – completely. A notion only enforced when a tad later he lost his virginity too drunk to care about the potential fate of his casual fling and learned that despite his worries about it, his shadow didn't seem to care.
After eighteen, he bounced from town to town, completely free and reckless, and slept with whomever he felt like – but he never trusted any of them. Sex became nothing more than scratching an occasional itch, if sometimes during and after he couldn't resist the thought that it was always missing something.
He stopped – completely – after the first time a few months back when he felt his shadow's touch. At night after watching that documentary about them, for a mere moment, he thought he felt the hard press of a male body against his own and the sensation carved itself into his brain, even if in the morning he convinced himself it was only a dream... until it happened again.
And he finally understood what the sex with others – no matter their gender – was missing. Or so he thought, anyway – swallowing the idea that he was always in love with him. That others were simply a surrogate of what he couldn't have – the only being in the whole fucking world he could trust and the only 'person' who cared about him.
Raha sighed, mulling it over while the delivery crew set the furniture in the designed places. After letting them in – apologizing for the delay – he quickly figured out that none of them could see or hear Senri. Despite it making it more likely that perhaps he did finally lose his marbles at some point yesterday, he involuntarily relaxed because he wasn't in a mood to explain to strangers his towering, winged male. Who throughout seemed content enough to crouch beside him by the windows and watch the milling crew with narrowed eyes and very noticeable hostility. His reptile tail did have the ability to grab onto things, Raha discovered when it coiled into a very tight leash around his leg, and he involuntarily wondered how many times over the years he was in precisely the same position and didn't realize...
When they finally left – with a generous tip – was the moment he finally let himself look toward his demon and sigh with defeat. Senri meanwhile lifted to his impressive height and scoffed, shaking his wings as his tail pulled back and swiveled with something like aggravation.
„You really hate... them?" He asked carefully and wasn't even that super surprised when his shadow tossed him a deadpan stare.
„Yes, Raha, I despise humans," he replied, then scowled when the redhead nodded tiredly and then walked over and dropped onto the sofa. Then his expression only brightened with that blinding grin when Raha laid down and stretched his arms toward him, making a 'grabby' gesture with his hands. His face grew hotter than lava, but he wasn't a hypocrite to deny the relief deep in his gut when Senri complied and soon settled over him, purring gratefully as he nuzzled against his shoulder. With a slight adjustment, Raha elected an even louder and happier noise as he wrapped his arms around his lover's shoulders and buried his nose against his throat.
„What are... What are we, Senri?" He whispered in the hot skin, with unbidden fascination watching the way those pitch-black wings now didn't phase but one soon settled over the backrest of the sofa while the other sagged to the floor. Only now he noticed that each membranous section was tipped by claws – very similar to those at his shadowscowled hands – while the last ended with a much thicker talon. Deceptively delicate bone structures framing those 'sections' were covered by those scales matching Senri's tail and crotch. Otherwise, his body was covered by perfectly smooth skin that was incredibly pale – nearly pearly white – turning him into a curious display of monochrome.
„We're Incubi," his lover muttered over his purring, sagging in his arms with a contented huff. „Demons, Raha. Or so humans call us."
„But what are Incubi?" He sighed dramatically, sinking his hand in his shadow's dark hair and tugging until Senri growled but lifted on his elbows to look at him. „How... Why would someone steal me?" That was one thing that wouldn't leave him alone. „Can you tell me... From the beginning?"
The demon scrunched his nose, then sighed and finally nodded, then settled down again.
„We live in another dimension," he said after a moment of perhaps looking for the right words. „A wholly different world. Our realm, which we call Demonworld, is only for demons. And there are many, many different kinds of demons living there. We, Incubi, are only one of many – and we're only male, born as set... Um, like twins?"
„Huh?" his eyes snapped wide open and he froze. „Wait... You're not telling me now that you're my brother?" He couldn't help the way his voice pitched on the word.
„No," his shadow shook with laughter then lifted again to snort at the sight of his expression – which made Raha pout. „Don't think like a human, Raha. I'm trying to find terms you can understand... okay?"
„...okay?" He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, consciously trying to keep an open mind. „So... we're born together... from the same person?"
„Yes," Senri beamed and again snorted at his involuntarily dismayed expression. „But not brothers, Raha, but set," he lifted his clawed hand and with forefinger touched his chest. „One can have multiple sets and then it's called a litter, and the other set would be what you call brothers, okay? We are halves," he said, then touched his cheek with the same finger. „That together form Incubi. I protect you, while you carry our young... That's how it should be," he sighed and dropped his head against Raha's shoulder with a tired sigh. „Until humans came before we were born. There are those... rifts, Raha, like tears between this dimension and ours. They aren't visible for humans – like we normally aren't in this domain – but one day one accidentally crossed one right into our... kingdom? The part of Demonworld that our people claim, okay? And it – human – was similar enough to us that our fathers didn't immediately kill it... If they sorely regretted it later," he sighed and lifted his head again to point toward his ear. „It looked like you do now... I guess. Miqo'te?"
„Okay... So what then?" He nodded slowly, thinking that so far it made a strange kind of sense – or he was just really off his rocker. But that at least explained why some places Senri did look similar to him... other than the wings, claws, and tail.
„Normal, humans who cross the Rift we kill," Senri added, frowning. „Because in Demonworld, they're known as parasites, Raha."
„Parasites?" he repeated incredulously. „Why...? Just because they cross over?"
„No," Senri snorted, then shifted and sat up, and when Raha followed hesitantly, his demon pointed toward the windows with the vista of the city. „But look what they did to their world? Greedy maggots that only take and take... until there's nothing left. And they move on and consume another piece of land, like a disease. Our world is... different, Raha. Rich, vibrant, and free... So after some demons crossed and saw this...? It was decided that we don't want this illness over there, okay? But then... yes, our fathers made a mistake," he sighed and then pulled him in his lap, wrapping his tail, arms, and wings around him possessively.
„Because they didn't kill the human?" He asked carefully, involuntarily relaxing in the overheated cocoon it created.
„Yes," his shadow sighed morosely, resting his chin on top of his head. „They have seen it as... um, pet? Harmless and weak. Fed it, played with it, and such... It amused them, Raha," he chuckled meanly when the redhead huffed incredulously.
„So they enslaved it?" He asked wryly.
„Ensalve...? No," Senri snorted, then rubbed his chin against the top of his head. „They should, but instead they made it free. No slaves in Demonworld, Raha. That's a human idea. We trade – with other demons – fairly. Pleasure, for whatever our people require."
„Huh?" He hummed, frowning. „Pleasure?"
„Sexual pleasure," Senri's broad chest shook when Raha froze up and shifted to look up, which put them nose to nose. „Incubi are sex demons, okay? Um... our venom is a drug for other demons. Or help them perform sexually. Heightens fertility, too. So Incubi are very honored in Demonworld... okay?"
„Okay..." he blinked rapidly, then leaned away as much as the cage of Senri's cocoon allowed. „That's why... That's why you didn't mind when I had sex?"
„Did I mind...?" that put on his demon's face the darkest scowl yet and turned his deep voice into a growl, and Raha winced, looking away until Senri's big hand wrapped around his jaw and turned his eyes back. „I did mind it very much, Raha. Incubi doesn't have sex outside the set... normally. But how could I deny you pleasure, mate, when you couldn't feel my touch?" He sighed morosely, then shook his head. „So long you... enjoyed it, I didn't mind, I guess. I told myself... you think you're human, and they're as they are. So I endured, hoping that infernal spell would wear off."
„What spell?" He asked carefully, curling his hand around Senri's wrist. His shadow frowned again, then pulled his hand free and nudged him to rest his head against Senri's chest, letting him rest his chin on his head again.
„The human our fathers take in soon brought more humans," he said softly. „They go around, ask questions, study us. Play nice and friendly... until we were born. And suddenly all humans gone... just puff... alongside my mate."
„But... But why?" He whispered, closing his eyes and swallowing thickly around the bile rising at the back of his throat. „Why... me?"
„Because fucking humans are greedy parasites," Senri snarled, tightening his arms around him until Raha gasped. He relaxed them instantly, then purred apologetically, rubbing his nose against his lowered ear. „I'm sorry. Please, don't hate me."
„I..." he swallowed convulsively as his face heated and closed his eyes. „I don't... hate you, Senri, but I just don't understand. Why would someone go so far as to kidnap an infant of another species? And even make... it look like them? And how...?"
„Because for them you're priceless, mate," Senri sighed. „I told you, Raha, I protect and provide. You're meant to give life. Umm... your venom is different than mine, okay? In every set it is."
„How it's different?" He asked, involuntarily running his tongue over his new fangs.
„Mate... Incubi are immortal, okay? Humans are not," Senri deadpanned wryly. „We... Our fathers think that humans thought that they could use you to be immortal, too. Because your venom can also revive other demons. Humans, too. We were born soon after they learned about that because one of our fathers revived one of them after it fell and snapped its puny neck. Then puff and you were gone AND so were the humans... And I don't how, Raha. When I found you, you were already like... this," he huffed, then sighed deeply. „And I couldn't bring you back if you couldn't even see me. So, I thought... Maybe with time, it wears off. And it did," he tightened his arms around his again, but this time more carefully. „Or at least it started to wear off. So now we can go home..."
„Wait, wait, wait..." he gasped and leaned away, tapping against his demon's chest until he looked down with a confused frown. „I just... I can't go somewhere to a different dimension or whatever! I like it here..." he awkwardly crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.
„Raha... We can't stay in this world," Senri said so matter-of-fact that he scowled and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. His shadow chuckled fondly, then kissed his temple. „You're so adorable... but I mean, when that spell wears off completely, Raha? What then? You already got your fangs back, and I don't know how long it'll take for your tail to change back or your wings... but even if you don't become invisible to them before that, how will you explain this...?" He chuckled meanly and pushed his hand between them, pressing it possessively over his abdomen. Raha gasped and paled like a sheet when that 'something' moved, reminding him of his greatest issue with the situation. „Human males can't carry young. And it'll grow very quickly, Raha."
„But...?!" his brain went offline momentarily as he opened and closed his mouth without a sound, then snapped them shut, growling under his breath at Senri's shit-eating grin. „I. Can't. Be. PREGNANT," he finally managed through those fangs, glaring daggers into his shadow's face when his expression dimmed. „And you didn't even ask before shoving your monster dick inside me! What the actual fuck?! I can't... How does that even... make sense?!" he screeched and instantly felt terrible when Senri's eyes filled with hurt, and then his expression closed off completely.
He pulled back – completely – yet still delicate as he sat him back on the sofa and stood up, not looking at him while he folded his wings over his back and soon crouched beside the windows.
„Senri, hey...?" he muttered, scrambling to his knees and watching the demon warily. Turned sideways, he seemed to look out the window before finally taking a deep breath and exhaling softly. But when he spoke up next his deep voice was different – flat and cold.
„You're right, Raha. And I'm sorry. I thought... Never mind," when he finally looked at him, his pale eyes were completely emotionless and Raha's insides froze. „Perhaps you're already too human," he sighed and looked away toward the window again as his voice lowered. „I'm going to be right back."
He simply dissolved into thin air if Raha had only a moment to gasp before he was back, towering over him before he tossed something in his lap and then backed against the window again, looking under his – as clawed as his hands – feet. Utterly confused, Raha picked up a small bottle of translucent liquid and scowled.
„What is this?" He asked, narrowing his eyes toward the way Senri's broad shoulders slumped momentarily despite his expression – what he could see of it – being completely neutral.
„The choice I took from you," his shadow muttered, then turned away from him, flaring his wings. „Drink it and it'll... take care of the set you carry. But I... I can't..." he trailed off and disappeared again.
...but this time he didn't come back.
Honestly fucking too exhausted – and pissed off – Raha set the bottle on the aisle and then marched off to take another shower. Throughout doing his best not to think, he then unpacked the sheets delivered with the new bed, dressed it, and decided to hide from the world until he could think straight. He fell asleep before he knew what happened, despite the aching and new sense of loneliness making his stomach tie itself in knots.
He woke up at noon the next day, honestly convinced that it was all some kind of imaginary vomit... until he tasted the bile, and the need to puke dragged him from under the sheets. Right after, furiously brushing his teeth and glaring at his reflection, he realized that he was starving and that his abdomen looked slightly more curved than the last time he looked at it.
The sight of the bottle – and that fucking awful sense of being alone – made him sink on the floor beside the sofa and cry like a moron. Then he got angry again – and swearing at his shadow's absence, mostly – he ordered a heap of takeout. And when the delivery guy rang the doorbell, he fucking froze, honestly fucking terrified without the sensation of his demon watching. He felt so... naked and vulnerable, he had to grab a knife from the kitchen and anyway was sweating like crazy simply answering the door.
„How do normal people do this?" he muttered under his nose when done with the ordeal, and cringed at his insanity. „Gods, I'm a fucking moron..." he sighed, then put a movie on and stuffed himself with ordered food – constantly catching himself looking toward that aggravating bottle.
„I'm fucking allowed to freak out," he finally snapped at it, rolling the paper package into a ball and tossing it at the aisle. And he wasn't even sure if he was relieved when he missed or not. „Dumb demon. Where the fuck is he?" he trailed off and groaned, rubbing his face before he looked toward that stupid bottle again through his fingers. „You can't tell me I'm not a human in the same sentence as telling me I'm freaking pregnant and not expect me to... need a moment, asshole! It's been a fucking day and..."
...and he spent twenty-four years protecting my sorry, helpless ass.
Raha groaned and dropped his hands in his lap when his stupid eyes filled with tears that spilled when he remembered that expression of hurt on Senri's beautiful face. Finally, he lay on the sofa and crossed his forearms over his face, trying to focus on figuring out what to do.
I should drink it, he decided and sat up, tightening his jaw with determination... that melted away the moment his eyes landed on that bottle again and something inside him moved. His hand slowly moved over his abdomen and he curled in, staring numbly at the floor as he realized that it felt more curved than when he woke up.
Do they already have tiny wings and tails...?
He slapped himself at the thought, growled a string of invectives, and sent a murderous glare toward that stupid bottle. Then he stood up with a huff and left the TV on, marched to the bedroom, and burrowed under the sheets, swearing throughout at stupid demons, dumb bottles, and life in general.
The loneliness he cursed the most.
Sometime at dawn the next day, the irritating sound of the doorbell woke him up, and swearing again, Raha scrambled out of the bed. He padded toward the front door, glaring daggers when he pressed the button to open them.
„What...?" He snapped and trailed off when his guest, Detective Deveroix, looked up from her tablet and frowned.
„Huh?" She muttered, looking toward him... or rather past him – into the apartment as if he weren't there. „Weird... Mr. Redsun?" She called right in his face and Raha leaned away, blinking, then waved his hand right before her face. „Mr. Redsun, are you there?!" She scowled, then somewhat gingerly stepped inside – passing right through him.
„What the fuck?!" he snapped with offense, swallowing around the bile rising in his throat. „I'm right here!" he called after her, following the woman toward his living room.
„I swear if that shadow of his..." she murmured, then looked around the room. „Mr. Redsun?" She called again and Raha groaned, rubbing his face as he leaned back against the wall of the living room. Then with a yelp, he pulled his hands back, gawking at them at apparently sometime at night he grew a set of fucking claws. „Huh... What's this...?"
He looked at the woman the moment she picked up the bottle off the aisle, turned it around in her hand as if looking for a label, and then tried to open it.
„Hey, leave that!" he snapped, rushing toward her, and without thinking he attempted to swipe the bottle off her hand. The woman yelped and screeched when deep cuts bloomed on her skin.
„I'm sorry!" She screamed, then wiodły rushed toward the door – as if chased by demons... while he stayed there, numbly blinking toward the smashed glass left on the marble floor.
And, no... what he felt wasn't relief.
Cleaning it up, Raha discovered that he could still easily touch the material world, but going under the shower, he saw that his reflection was gone.
„So weird..." he sighed, then took a long moment not to think under the scorching stream – only turning it hotter to battle against the nagging chill of being alone.
Toweling himself off, he had to face the reality of his abdomen being distinctively more swollen than it was the previous day... and maybe he did grin a little.
This didn't however change the fact that he was fucking pissed at his stupid and hasty shadow.
What if he's never going to come back...?
That gave him a pause when he left the bathroom and dressed – wondering why did he even bother. And – honestly – how would it look to others...? Floating clothes?
And what I'm going to eat...?
He scowled, heading to the living room, and froze at the threshold – because Senri was back, staring at him impassively from the same spot Raha saw him last.
„You have some fucking nerve, asshole," he snarled and stamped into the room, then around the sofa, glaring daggers into his shadow's beautiful but empty eyes. „Where were you?!" He snapped, curling his hands in fists behind his back as he stopped right in front of the towering male.
„Away," his demon replied passively and looked away, staring somewhere above his shoulder. „Are you... Did you...?" He trailed off but barely flinched and looked down when Raha slammed his fist into his stomach.
„You're not meant to leave me!" he hissed incredulously and then sobbed like a fucking idiot and wrapped himself around his shadow's tall figure. „You can't leave me... It's so lonely without you, Senri, I can't... I can't... liiiive," fully bawling and feeling pathetic besides, he wasn't above admitting relief now when his lover wrapped his arms and wings around into a comforting cocoon, purring raspy apologies against his ears. He couldn't even understand it as it drowned between the thumping of his heartbeat and he wrapped his hands around the base of Senri's wings, clinging to him desperately.
The terror of the last two days and the heady relief of his heat, finally made him pull back and look up through tears, and even if he had to look awful, his beautiful shadow beamed at him. So Raha pulled his hand back and slammed it against his chest without moving away more than absolutely necessary.
„Don't laugh at me," he sniffed, trying to glare when that stupid demon growled playfully, and then licked his cheek.
„You didn't drink it?" Senri's arms and wings tightened around him, and he muttered under his breath, pressing his head under his chin. „Raha?"
„...no," he muttered, then sniffed again. „But I'm still mad at you, you stupid demon."
His shadow was silent long enough for Raha to wrap his arms around his waist tightly, in case he had the bright idea to leave again... even if he had no idea if that would stop him.
„I would never leave you... for good, Raha," he finally sighed, rubbing his chin against the top of his head. „You're my second half and I'm nothing without you. We were never meant to be apart in the first place, mate, but... I couldn't watch if you drink it, okay? I know you have every reason to be angry, and... I didn't know," he muttered and Raha pulled back to look at him with a confused frown. „If you're... I mean, I didn't think, obviously, but I didn't know if you could get pregnant, okay? Or if inside you're also... human... and... I spent years wondering, Raha. If you're going to ever see me, hear me, or feel me. The moment you did... I lost it and..." he sighed and dropped his head against the redhead's shoulder. „I'm sorry. You can't imagine how I felt, but... I'm still sorry for taking your choice away."
„No, I think... I can imagine," he muttered and wrapped his arms around Senri's head, gingerly brushing his clawed fingers through his hair. „I... I guess I had two days of what you had over twenty years of, hm? Only worse, because I was right there..." he sighed and shook his head. „I'm also sorry, Senri. For every time... I used you. Every time I forced you to watch me... be with someone else. For... For taking you for granted. And being selfish. And... And especially for I said. But I need time to... I needed the time to think, okay? Because it's all... too sudden and all."
„I know," Senri whispered, nuzzling against his throat then lifted his head and tossed him a hesitant smile. „Our fathers chewed me out for being so... inconsiderate."
„Huh?" He blinked slowly and frowned. „Our...? They're, ah... alive?" this, idea alone, made his stomach flip weirdly.
„Of course they are," Senri muttered, watching his expression somewhat warily. „Same as our brothers, Raha."
„Huh?" He repeated, mostly feeling that his eyes went wide like saucers. „Brothers?"
„The whole big... family, I guess," Senri nodded sagely, then seemed to mull something over before shaking his head and smiling sheepishly. „Maybe Clan, would be better? But there are a lot of our people waiting for you, Raha, not only me. They, ah... visited, often, and especially when you were young, but it was as painful for them that you couldn't see... and they trusted me to watch over you. Because that – guarding you – is what I live for, mate. So you weren't using me, or something. And... I had a lot of fun, venting," another hesitant smile, while Raha blinked.
„...venting?" He repeated.
„On humans," Senri said the word like a curse. „Such a dumb species, I swear. Remember the laboratory underground...? That was a lot of fun," he beamed and Raha snorted involuntarily.
„They were trying to figure out what you are," he protested weakly, biting his lower lip when Senri rolled his pale eyes.
„I know, but how stupid can you be?" He asked, then curled his clawed hand over his cheek. „I swear, I was wondering why none asked."
Raha opened his mouth, then shut them close and frowned – then realized that he was right and flushed, blinking rapidly.
„Not that it would change much, since they can't understand our language," Senri snorted, then chuckled meanly when Raha pouted. „But at least you did, all the time. Remember this...?" He hummed and half-turned them both, then pulled his left wing back and with forefinger carved something very familiar into the glass of the window. It was a symbol and something his shadow carved into surfaces near him when he was little and asked him what he was. He was always getting shit from foster families about that – before they learned it wasn't him destroying their precious floors and windows, and inevitably returned him to the system. In school he remembered drawing that – constantly – whenever teachers were droning on. It looked like a string of short slashes, put together into an intricate design little reminiscent of a blooming flower.
„What does it mean?" He asked, looking at it when Senri pulled his hand back.
„I'm yours," his shadow purred and he gasped then looked at him and melted under the scorching heat of unbridled devotion filling his shadow's pale eyes. „I was only ever yours, mate."
„I..." he swallowed convulsively then groaned loudly and dropped his head against Senri's chest. „...l-love you, my shade."
„I know," his demon purred and nuzzled against his ears happily. „Only that made it bearable, Raha. Every time you told me how much you needed me. How much you loved me. If I only wish you could have heard every time I reassured you that I love you as much. How much I fucking wanted you – every time you touched yourself, singing only for me."
„I...!" he pulled back and flushed hotter than inferno, watching that shit-eating grin overcome Senri's beautiful face. „Umm... You're a beast," he pouted, then looked away, rubbing his all-too-hot cheek.
„I am," Senri chortled, then before Raha had any more time than to gasp, he was up and pinned against the wall of the window right over that symbol his shadow carved for him. And like in the shower last time, all thought left his head when his lover's tail wrapped around him, choking out a breathless moan from his chest. He heard a tear of material from somewhere far away, too busy to pay it much mind when his shadow's divine flavor filled his mouth alongside his sandpaper tongue. Battling, enticing his own to play – an invitation he took gladly with a breathless whimper – while Senri's sharp claws made short work of his clothes. He whined with a sense of loss when his lover pulled back, then arched with a deafening shout when Senri bit his shoulder and took him all at the same time. He pressed inside him, nearly folding him in half while still keeping his back off the cold glass before he raised his head and beamed toward his dazed eyes. „But Raha... I have to make up for this, you know?"
„Huuuuh?" He drawled carefully, high like a kite and grinning stupidly as he buried his hands in Senri's dark hair and tried to pull him back.
„You asked me if I did 'mind' when you were with humans," Senri didn't let him, grinning wider when Raha whined and pulled harder. „And I did... but mostly because they couldn't fulfill your needs," he purred, then rolled his hips and Raha lost the plot, coming with a resounding moan. „Not like I can... Because you are mine," Senri chortled, while he fought to catch his breath, only vaguely aware of clawing at his shoulders while all his muscles shook in aftershock. His shadow shifted, then pressed his hand over the redhead's abdomen, then rolled his hips again – slowly and deliberately – and Raha didn't recognize the sound that left his throat at the sensation. „And I am yours."
And only a long while later – when he regained awareness in the middle of the night, covered by his shadow's hard body in the middle of the new bed and with a very fuzzy memory of how he got there – Raha decided that in the end, he didn't mind being a demon. Or being pregnant – as much as the idea still daunted him. Or going to some unknown land and meeting a whole fucking family... who missed him.
Because in the end, as long as he had his shadow, he knew by heart he would be more than fine.