"Don't worry. I know lots of stuff."

- Mint Adenade in "Budding Season"

"Body massage."

- The guy from one of the G.I. Joe PSAs

"Imprinter!"

- A 300-year-old dude in the cloned body of a 10-year-old being seduced by a 20something space witch priestess who talks to ghosts (the later Dune novels get kinda strange)

"It's sad when a cat dies. Isn't it better to be alone?"

- Sailor Lethe (before she found out it's better to die with her soulmate)

"What is that supposed to do? Hypnotize me?"

"No. Just give you a splitting headache."

"It's not working."

"*BANG!*"

- Christopher Walken and Danny DeVito

"Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job."

- Morticia Addams

The war between Cardair and Florince was shaping up to be the slaughterhouse everyone had been fearing for decades. Noble houses demanded the blood of their foreign rivals. Neutral countries that had nothing to do with the old conflicts were about to be dragged back into those conflicts.

The preliminary round in the Dance of Death had already started, and Kazuya could hear the thunder of artillery explosions in the distance beyond his castle walls. The roar of siege engines leaving trails of ruins under their treads. The screams of heartbroken angels falling from the skies, slain by fellow angels who were forced to follow the will of angry kings.

These were the times that called for desperate measures.

Every passing second, the horrible sounds were getting closer. Kazuya was utterly alone in his castle, a modest mansion on the border of Cardair's northern territory. The territory itself had no real political power and no real support. The older and more ruthless emperors had already taken control of those for their war effort. All that was left was an elegantly trimmed building, and a terrified 18-year-old boy-king who'd been ripped from civilized society and dropped into the war cauldron as an emergency contingency. His strategic value was zero. His combat ability was non-existent.

The sounds of combat were close enough to rattle the throne room. The senior emperors of Cardair's three regions were probably dead, or dying by now. It was only a matter of time before someone decided he—Kazuya Krau-xeku, a teenaged noble nobody who was rushed to the throne before he even officially graduated from Windbloom Academy—was the de facto leader of Cardair… and should be targeted as such.

He never saw her descend quickly and daintily from the castle's skylight. He never saw her lounging toward him on weightless ballerina feet. She was a single petite enemy unit, perfectly designed to infiltrate battle lines and fly undetected through the fires of chaos. By the time he even realized there was another person in the room with him, her propulsion ribbons were already swinging in his eyes.

The anonymous assassin perched over his seat in her long white cloak. Waves of snowy fabric obscured all of her features. Everything except for the two pointed recon ears poking out from her hood, and her hungry pearl fangs glittering in the shadows underneath.

She spread her arms in a swift whipping motion, revealing a set of tiny knives extending from the gaps between her knuckles like curved cat's claws. Kazuya frantically shielded his face preparing for the worst, and she slashed her arms without an instant of hesitation.

The only thing she cut apart was her own traveling cloak.

Kazuya gasped when he came face-to-face with Meister Akane Soir. His well-respected co-ed hailing from Garderobe Academy, and his natural enemy representing Florince.

Shimmering amber eyes staring keenly into his soul. Silky short-trimmed brown hair bobbing in rhythm with her breathing. Decorative microphone ears pointed at attention. His Angel of Death had arrived in the most beautiful form he could imagine.

Akane casually tossed her knives aside once she made herself more comfortable. Underneath the flowing ambiguous cloak, her nimble athletic body was wrapped in her Meister Robe. Most Robes resembled elaborate metallic gowns, or stylized suits of armor. But her Robe was more like a swimsuit with some feline-inspired trimmings, rather than any sort of military flight suit.

This was the first time she'd been authorized to perform at the full Meister level. Kazuya knew she was just like him—a trainee suddenly thrust into her adult responsibilities due to the calamity in their world. But in those first moments fate brought the hastily coronated emperor and the Meister-initiate together, his fear started to be overtaken by a strange feeling of enticement.

Akane locked her knees downward so all of her nimble weight settled over Kazuya's seat. He couldn't flee. He couldn't resist. She was pinning him to the throne with her exotically-dressed hips straddling his lap.

Oh. His assassin was certainly here to assassinate him, alright. By letting him have a nice piece of ass.

She exhaled with a soft vibrating sigh that turned into a drunken giggle. Her attention was laser-focused and only had plans for him. No matter how much she adjusted her body or turned her head, his reflection always remained fixed in her determined and slightly drowsy eyes.

"They're coming to kill you, Lord Kazuya," the Meister whispered in a shivering voice, like she felt all the same terror and pain as him. "But I'll save you… by making you one of us."

"T-turn me into a girl? Inject me with your nanomachines?" The emperor nervously stuttered. He was known for being a bright learned scholar, a hopeful beacon who would help guide Cardair to a more peaceful future. But that was before the war broke out. His current predicament shattered his ability to organize his thoughts and react with any kind of sound logic.

"No, silly." The Meister smiled in an innocent, somewhat dorkish way. One of her canines was poking over her lower lip. "I'll adopt you into the Sisterhood. I'll tame you. I'm going to marry you."

This option sounded much more enjoyable for Kazuya, but this talk of 'adopting' him like a pet caught him a little off guard.

"You'll be all mine. You'll forget all about this stupid rivalry. You'll never have a single thought that could hurt me," the premier representative from Florince told the vile, loathsome, repulsive premier representative from Cardair. At least, that's how their two societies expected them to view each other. But their personal feelings for each other had grown into something much different during the two years they were training next door to each other in Windbloom.

"But you'll stop being a Meister if you…" Kazuya struggled to say. Why would her commanders send her into the front, if her only goal was to surrender herself to him?

Akane shyly nodded, with the faintest of blushes growing on her cheeks. One of her gloves brushed through his charcoal hair, while the other tugged at the collar of his royal mantle as if she were getting ready to strangle him.

"They authorized me to make that sacrifice, too. It doesn't happen often. It only works when there's a really special pair. But when the time is right, an Otome can give up all of her magic… to turn a ruler into her devoted slave."

The whole time she was explaining herself, she was giving him gentle kisses on his neck. His cheek. And most importantly, on his lips.

"Wh-… what do I get out of this?" Kazuya asked in a tone that was half-concerned, and half-enamored.

"You get to stay alive. I'll make the rest of my Sisters see you can be trusted." Akane giggled out of heartfelt relief. "I can't say exactly what it will be like for you, but I heard Nao call it 'mindcrushingly good sex.'"

"And what do you get out of it?"

"Mmn," the Otome sighed like a cat with her favorite mouse. "You'll feed me. Tell me how pretty I am. Pet me once in a while. Follow every suggestion I give you, and you'll never complain about a thing."

Kazuya couldn't help but chuckle in bewilderment. All of her unbound affections were rushing over him, making him forget where he was.

"You're a lot different as a Meister. Everyone always says how you're the gentle and elegant Sister Soir."

"They tuned up my nano-properties just before they sent me after you. They wanted me to be more 'accommodating.'" Akane sumptuously purred while her paws were unworking the belt on Kazuya's regal white trousers. Everything was almost ready for the official engagement.

"Tuned you…?" Kazuya sounded perplexed.

"They amplified what I already had." Akane's blush deepened. "The way I've always felt about you."

Any fear or reservations Kazuya once felt for his predicament were completely melted by Akane's suggestions. He simply reclined into the throne—that powerful position where he always belonged—and let his opponent take everything he had to offer. His body instinctively managed all the rest.

The lonely, abandoned throne room became a stage for two players. Privately, they performed an ancient ritual that would determine the world's future. In the final moments of their act, Akane's striped tail ribbons crossed together to form the shape of a heart, and then evaporated into sparkling green embers.

The Otome lost her magic forever… Or at least until she could provide magic for more Otomes.

"-kinky trick probably saved the rest of our frontline girls," a woman's sing-song voice echoed from the ceiling of the throne room. "I just hope she can make the hack work for the long run."

"You've got a lot of faith in the wily kitten," another woman echoed from the unseen chorus. "What makes you so sure about her? You just gave her the basic run-down and sent her off."

"Precisely why she was the best choice for the operation," a third woman echoed. "She has a natural desire we can never teach. I'm sure she can fill in the rest on her own."

The Five Columns landed in the throne room in a single flock formation. They peered toward throne together, hoping to find something that would put all their worst anxieties to rest.

"Good work, Soir. I knew you wouldn't let us down." Shizuru proudly smiled at the sight.

"Who won? Florince?" Nao asked impatiently behind Shizuru's shoulder.

"No. We did." Natsuki sternly answered with her arms crossed.

Kazuya was seated on his throne with his head lowered and his energy drained to nothing. His royal uniform was in a wrinkled disarray, especially around his waist.

Akane was curled peacefully in his lap. She was half asleep, and quite fully naked. The only thing she was wearing was the deactivate Meister GEM on her left earlobe. She had disintegrated his resistance, his free will, and his fear of the Otome system. And to return the favor, Kazuya disintegrated her combat suit with the potent antigens in his male chromosomes. It was a fair trade: The emperor became inseparable from the Otome, but he would never be able to exploit her as a weapon.

Lastly, the flag of Garderobe was wrapped around both of them like a luxurious bedsheet. It was the signal that all enemies of the Otome system feared, while announcing to their allies "It's safe to approach here. I've secured the king."

Sara and Mahya secretly gave each other a little fist bump in celebration.

"You're safe now, Your Majesty," Akane whispered to Kazuya in a weakened playful stupor, tracing his jawline with her bare index nail. "You're much safer than the rest of those old Cardair guys."

"Do you really think so?" Kazuya replied from his euphoria of supreme relaxation and ever-so-slight hypnosis. "What makes me any different from them?"

Akane giggled in a relaxing, scheming way.

"Well… for one thing, you'll still alive, since you let me keep you." Her ear nuzzled against his chest. The fringes of her Cleopatra cut brushed him like a soft feather duster.

"And second, they were childless. But I made sure you have a little daughter lined up to succeed you."

"Don't you mean she'll succeed you?" Kazu asked submissively while his arm brushed the small of her back. His mind was drifting in a permanent, lovely, Akane-scented fog, but he was still aware of his situation.

"Mmhm," Akane nodded with a sweet purr against his neck. "She'll show everyone Florince and Cardair can get along, by succeeding us both."

Mahya stepped out from her group and approached the throne. After clearing her throat to get Kazuya's attention, she spoke with a loud official-sounding tone.

"May we inquire on your commands regarding the war, m'lord?"

"What war?" Kazuya replied in a drowsy and curious voice. Why would he, the new leader of peaceful Cardair, ever call for war? A war would cause so much misery for Otomes. Honest, decent, innocent Otomes, who only wanted to follow their dreams to make the world a happier place. Just like the one curled up in his lap.

"Good enough for us." Mahya nodded with a sly and very casual smile. "We'll let you folks go back to… doing your folksy stuff."

His arms firmly wrapped around Akane while she yawned and nestled closer to his heart. He wanted her to stay in his arms forever, partly because he was addicted to her beyond his control, but mostly because he truly loved her.

"They're not going to separate us, are they?" He whispered nervously while the Columns were still in the room. "I'll do anything to help you perform your duties, but I don't want to be a burden…"

"Keeping you in check is my only duty now," the retired Pure Heart Malachite purred with gratitude under his chin. "I'm never leaving you as long as I'm alive, Kazu."

He sheepishly chuckled with all of his fears put to rest. Lost in the happiest moment of his life, there was only one thing he could think about now.

"What color would you like for the wedding cake, Empress Akane?"

Author's notes:

Here's this utterly bizarre picture of Aerith as like a parallel AU version of Reno for the story thumbnail. I found it on Reddit. I thought it fits Akane's cute-but-weird "vibe" in this fanfic pretty well.

I went through a couple different ideas on what Akane and Kazuya's relationship should be in this story. At first, I was thinking they would know who each other are, since they're both popular public figures in the Otome and royalty circles, but this is the first instance where they've ever met each other in person. Then I decided they've already met, and they were gradually falling in love prior to society breaking down and leaving them into their current situation, so it's not just Akane going "Ha ha! I'm here to conscript you to be my love slave in a completely one-sided way!" In the final version of the story, I think it's still kinda vague what their relationship was before war broke out. It's definitely a different "spin" on their official characters.

Make love not war, dudes.

This is the latest example in one of my favorite writing trends: "Cyber Catgirl Being a Crafty Critter." You know, that genre that covers every Guilty Crown fanfic I've ever written. This Akane story takes a relatively optimistic approach, though. The Tsugumi stories usually end with someone getting their brain painfully melted, or a head exploding.

a. k. a. "Akane reenacts her favorite scenes from Excalibur."

I guess this could also work as another Weird Origin Story(TM) for Erstin Kx.

What if you were watching the first episode of Gundam SEED, and after the part where Kira and Athrun recognize each other, they immediately had sex on the fuselage of the Strike Gundam while Yuki Kajiura music plays in the background? That would be a very Legend of the Blue Wolves version of Gundam SEED.

This is not a perversion fanfic. This is not a kinky corruption fanfic. This is a fanfic where Akane finally gains her happy, peaceful, romantic ending. FORCEFULLY. By taking matters into her own hands. For the local Kazu-kun's wellbeing. But she totally deserves it after what her various meta-universal incarnations have been through.