It would not be an exasperation to say that Meg Griffin had a rough life, having to endure countless indignities every day of her life. There was rarely a day where she was not mocked, abused or suffer some sort of misfortune or tragedy. Honestly she could count the number of days where she wasn't on one hand, with most of her fingers remaining.
Her current predicament was only the latest in the very,very long shit-show her life was.
Her father(how she hated being related to him) had another bout of whimsy that the whole family was once again forced to endure, Meg took some sort of glee in not being the sole focus for once. Peter Griffin had decided that he was a King, and was demanding the royal treatment from everybody. Apparently he had seen Game of Thrones and decided he could be a King, since everybody else was declaring themselves One.
At first it wasn't so bad with the Griffin Family acting the part of royalty, with one obvious exception. Whenever Meg tried to join them in this game, they decided she was the village Hag and not a princess. Naturally that meant their treatment of her was the same as usual, just not with more shit(literally) being thrown at her and them complaining of the resulting smell.
It all came to a head when "King" Peter decided that she was a traitor to his Kingdom, and ordered her to be beheaded at once. He tried to reassure a suddenly concerned Lois(as if she actually cared about her safety) that the guillotine was a fake and Meg would be fine. The swish of the falling blade was the last sound she heard before her vision went black.
Meg opened her eyes suddenly and took in her surroundings, it was in a word: Paradise. Verdant grass stretched as far as she could see, With plenty of trees and various foliage completing the look. When she turned Meg gave a jolt as person had been standing behind her, the Man had raven black hair with equaling dark eyes. He wore a simple pair of blue jeans, with a green tee shirt that had: Nuff Said printed in bold.
He gave her a little wave and said: "Hello" in the most friendly voice she had ever heard. "Uh..hi" said Meg a little hesitantly. Without another word the Man hopped back slightly before throwing his arms wide, "Welcome to Hell" he proclaimed loudly. Several seconds passed before his joyful expression faded, after response from her.
Meg was stunned to say the least, she took another look around at the idyllic scenery before returning her gaze to the Man.
"This is Hell?" she asked incredulously.
"Yup" said the Man in warm tone.
" As in..."
H-E-Double Hockey Sticks, Correct"
With that he spun on his heel and walked away, but not before gesturing at her to follow. As they walked Meg noticed several animals playing in the grass, Cats, Dogs, and seemingly ever other animal imaginable. "Hell's a lot more green than I believed" said Meg, to which the Man looked over his shoulder at her.
"Expecting more fire and brimstone?" he asked in a slightly humored tone, at her hesitant nod he shrugged. "I get that a lot" he said. With that the two walked in silence before Meg decided to ask the question on the tip of her tongue, " If this is Hell then are you..?"
The Man twirled around to face her while still walking backwards before he gave her a deep bow, "Lucifer Morningstar at your service" he said in the most stereotypical accent possible for such dramatics. With that new startling revelation it took Meg several more minutes(?), before she asked the Devil her next question.
"Where are we going?"
"To your new home of course" The Devil said casually as if commentating on the weather. Before Meg could ask him just what that mean, he stopped suddenly forcing her to do the same. In front of them was a humongous Mansion, the kind you'd expect billionaires to live in. "Welcome to your new Home" said the Devil happily, stunned she turned to him.
"I get to live in this huge ass Mansion by myself?" asked Meg incredulously
"Everybody gets one down here, it comes with every modern convenience you can possible imagine, and more will be added when they become available UPSTAIRS" said the Devil as he pointed straight up. He then led her to the equal large Garage and opened it, to reveal rows of top of the line sports cars. " Are these mine too?!" asked Meg more than a little shocked. "Yup Everybody gets them" said the Devil with a nod.
After dropping that bombshell on her, Lucifer led her away from her new house. They walked down a stone path when Meg noticed something, seated at a nearby fountain was a woman. She had long black hair that seemed to shine brown in parts, she had been reading a book before seemingly sensing Meg's gaze. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of green, upon locking eyes with her Meg's heart gave a lurch suddenly.
The Devil seeing what Meg did patted her shoulder, "Everybody find's their Soul Mate down here" he said snapping her out the daze. Meg opened her mouth to say something, but noticed something strange out of the corner of her eye. It was a chest high wooden fence, Meg was filled with an intense curiosity to see the other side.
Nothing could have prepared her for what was there, it looked like what most people imagined Hell to be. People being tortured by Demons with countless fires burning, suddenly the Devil appeared next to her at the fence. "Those are the Christians" said Lucifer with a shrug, "For some reason they want this".
A/n: Well after several years I've returned, and with a new fic to boot. This fic came about from a joke I've heard recently. It's about an atheist who goes to hell when they die, where they're greeted by the devil. Who shows them a luxurious Mansion, Sports Cars, and their Soul Mate.