As I put my phone back in pocket I suddenly thought I should maybe have given myself a little more time before dealing with the Warren situation. I wasn't exactly an expert with telling someone my feelings for them. Rejecting someone with feelings for me was totally new territory.

Relax Max, you got this. Probably…

It was times like this I really wished I could ask someone for advice. I wondered what Chloe would do in my place.

Probably say "Dude, you're cool an' all, but I'm just hella not interested."

...Okay, she'd probably come up with something smarter than that.

I smiled at the thought momentarily before that hole inside me reappeared. It was like Joyce said, there'd come a day where I would think of Chloe and only smile. For now, that smile would be accompanied by a lot of pain. I put my camera back in my bag. Upon completing my mission I planned to snag another photo for my growing collection. If I completed my mission…

I opened up my diary and looked at my little Max motivation page again before closing my journal. It was funny how much that page helped. Not just for the actual words but how I felt when I wrote them. I hadn't felt that hopeful in a long time. That's what I had to do. Just know that I could do this and it would turn out okay.

Okay, enough trying to fool yourself, Max. Just get out there and do it.

I walked across the dorm yard and towards the gates. When I saw the campus it was almost completely empty. Classes weren't over just yet so I didn't expect anyone. But there was Daniel, sat under a tree drawing in his sketch book. He saw me before I could decide whether or not I was in the mood for conversation with someone else.

"Max!" He called and waved at me. I gave him a wave back. I decided to bite the bullet and went over to him.

"Hey, Daniel. You not in class?" I said.

Daniel shook his head.

"Free period. It is so wonderful to see you outside, Max. How have you been doing?"

"I'm getting better, kind of. Trying to not hole myself up any more," I said. Daniel nodded.

"I don't know if you had a chance to see it but I posted a drawing of you on Facebook last week," he said. "I hoped it might cheer you up."

"That's so sweet. And I'm sorry but I've been staying off social media recently. I'll look right now though," I said as I got out my phone.

"Oh no, it's okay. I took it down," Daniel said.

"Why?"

"At first I was really proud of it, but then someone commented on its flaws and I lost confidence in it."

"Who commented on it?"

"Logan."

Logan? That idiot.

"You shouldn't listen to anything he has to say," I said.

"No, no. I'm glad he said it. He was right. It really wasn't my best work. I can do better." He looked back at his drawing. The look on his face told me he didn't believe anything he was saying. The school bell suddenly rang. Warren would be out any minute. I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Daniel," I said. He looked up from his drawing.

"Yes, Max?"

"You're a really talented artist. Like, really good. Don't listen to anyone else's mean comments. If you know what you done is good that's all that matters. Be proud of it," I said. Daniel smiled and looked away.

"You are making me blush. Thank you, Max. I will try."

I saw people filing out of the school. I gave Daniel another smile and waved goodbye. I made my way over to the entrance as people moved past me. I caught a few looks from people, some just surprised to even see me, some not trying to be subtle when talking about me. I just kept my opens open for Warren.

Then Warren came outside. As soon as he saw me his face lit up and he ran down the steps. He had his arms open ready for a hug. I didn't have time to figure out how to indicate I wasn't in the mood, so I just hugged him back, though definitely not has hard as he hugged me. He stepped back and was still smiling.

"It's awesome to see you again," he said. He seemed to catch he was being a little too enthusiastic given the reason why I had been avoiding him and everyone else. His expression softened a little.

"How have you been?" he asked. That question had almost become like a reverse catchphrase, something I didn't say but literally everyone else did.

"Just trying to get out a little more," I said.

"I can definitely help you with that. You said you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Er, yeah."

"We can go down to the Two Whales if you like. My treat. I've even got a new car I've been meaning to show you," he said with a smile. I'd already been at the diner less than ten minutes ago. I didn't really want to make this into a big deal. I just needed to say-

"Yeah, sounds great."

Goddamnit, Max.

A few minutes later and we were pulling out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

"So how have you been?" Warren asked. "Crap, sorry. Already asked you that," he added.

"It's okay, you really don't have to tread on eggshells, Warren. I'm just trying to get back to normal. Well, as best I can," I said.

"I hear you. It's been insane recently. All that stuff with Nathan and Jefferson. So messed up. And, I'm sorry about what happened to your friend…" he trailed off.

"Chloe. Yeah, me too." I looked out the window and sighed. We were driving past the beach. A few people were swimming in the ocean. I could faintly see Warren's reflection and the look of concern on his face in the window.

"I can't say I know what it's like but I promise I'm here for you," he said.

I looked back at him.

"I know you are, Warren. I'm sorry I've been so withdrawn recently. And for ignoring all your messages."

"It's cool. Sorry if I was being a pest or anything. I was just worried about you."

"You weren't being a pest. And I know you were. You're sweet."

Warren smiled.

Max, this isn't exactly helping him prepare for rejection…

We parked up and went into the diner. I know deja vu was pretty standard for me thanks to my powers but it was still weird being back at the diner for the second time that day.

"Have whatever you want. It's on me. However expensive it is," Warren said with another smile.

"Thanks, I already ate though. Coffee will do me just fine. Milk and sugar. I'll go grab us a table," I said walking away. I picked the table right in the corner. This would be hard enough without feeling like everyone was watching me. I didn't want to feel like I was on display as I might have been about to screw up one of the best friendships I had left.

Come on, think positive. Give Warren some credit.

A minute later Warren came and sat down.

"What are you having?" I asked.

"Just the same as you."

"Didn't know you drank coffee."

"I'm full of surprises. You know nothing, Max Caulfield."

I smiled at the reference.

"So you're a man of mystery then?"

"Guilty as charged," he replied. I laughed a little. It was nice having these moments again. Then I felt bad because I was worried I was leading Warren on.

Max, relax. Just say it now. Say you need to tell him something and then just-

Right then the waitress decided was a good time to arrive with out coffee.

"Here you go," she said as she put them down in front of us.

"Thanks," Warren said.

"Yeah, thanks," I said trying to hide my irritation. Based on the waitress' expression I didn't do a good enough job. She didn't deserve that. I quickly put out my hand and rewound.

"Thanks," Warren said.

"Thank you," I said forcing a smile. The waitress smiled back before disappearing back behind the counter.

Come on, Max. Just come straight out with it. Just say-

"So how have you been?" I asked.

Sigh…

"I've been okay," said Warren. "Like I said, still kinda shocked at all the crap that went down."

"You know I think I saw there was a Planet of the Apes marathon last week. Did you go?"

"Nah, wasn't in the mood. Wasn't really anyone who wanted to see it anyway."

"I bet Brooke would have liked it," I said trying to give him a nudge in the right direction.

"Maybe," he said. Speaking about movies made me remember something.

"Crap, Warren did I ever give you your flash drive back?" I asked. He shook his head a little.

"It's okay, I didn't need it."

"I'll get it back to you. I think Dana may have it right now."

"It's cool, whatever," he said.

Alright, Max. You've put this off long enough.

I took a sip of my coffee before putting my mug back down.

"Warren, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"That's why we came here," he said. "What is it?"

"It's nothing to do with the stuff that's happened recently. It's just something I think we should get out in the open. For the both of us."

"Okay…" said Warren with some trepidation.

"I know that- I mean I kinda- What I-" I didn't so much trip over my words as tumble down stairs of…words.

Guess metaphors aren't my strong point.

"Listen, Warren. I know that- that you-" I struggled to say it out loud. Even with everything I had done one of the scariest things was talking about anything to do with relationships.

"I know that you like me," I managed to get out. Warren eyes widened a little and he cleared his throat.

"I mean yeah, we are friends aren't we?" Warren said looking down at his drink. I so badly wanted to go along with that but I had already started. I had to finish.

"That's not what I mean, Warren. I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about."

Warren looked down at the table. I guessed he hadn't been expecting this.

"So what if you're right?" he asked.

"I just want- I need to tell you I don't feel the same. I'm sorry," I stammered. I let out a small sigh, trying to disguise the relief.

You did it, Max.

Warren's mouth fell open slightly. He sat in silence for a few moments.

"I really am sorry," I added, trying to do something to break the horrible silence.

"It's cool. Whatever."

"Warren, I really do still want us to be friends," I said.

"Yeah, cool," he replied. The expression on his face told me otherwise.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"Why?"

"Why am I sorry?"

"No, why don't you like me me? We have so much in common, we have fun. Why don't you like me?"

"I do like you Warren and we do have fun. Trust me, you've done more for me than you know. I just don't have the same feelings you have for me." I was just repeating myself now, but I didn't know what else I could say.

"So you just don't care about anything I do for you, is that it?" He snapped.

"Warren, please don't be like this. Of course I do, but it doesn't mean I have be attracted to you."

"So what do I have to do then?"

"I don't know if there's anything you can do, I'm sorry."

Warren looked down at the table again. He took a big sip of his drink before quickly putting it back down and rubbing his mouth. The heat had scorched his lips.

"Careful," I said.

"Didn't know you cared," he snapped.

"Warren…"

"So why did you want to do this here? So everyone could see me get humiliated?"

"You're not getting humiliated, Warren. And I didn't want to do this here. But I just struggle to say no sometimes. Believe me, it's not a great quality to have,"

"So you can't say no to a free drink but you can to going out with me?" he snapped again.

"That's not how it is," I explained. I was really starting to feel uncomfortable. This was so not how I wanted this to go.

"So this is what you wanted to tell me? Why now?" He demanded.

"I guess, with everything that's happened. Losing Chloe…I had an epiphany or whatever. I'm done standing still and want to move forward. I want the same for you. I didn't want you chasing me thinking something that was never going to happen would happen. I'm telling you this because I care, Warren."

"I care too, apparently not enough for it to matter."

"For it to matter?" I repeated. "So what, is that the only reason you've be nice to me, so I would go out with you? If that's true then what happens now?"

Warren shrugged.

"Then maybe I don't even want you as a friend, Warren," I said. "I really thought you were better than this."

"Well, it looks like we're both wrong."

"Stop acting so immature."

"That's all I am though right? Just some stupid kid."

I just gave a disgusted sigh and stood up.

"I seriously need people around me right now. Do you know how hard this was for me to even talk to you about this?" I said.

"Yeah, you have someone who's in love with you, that must be awful."

I stormed away from the table. My bag swung and knocked into someone sat at the counter but I didn't stop. I could feel people staring at me as I shoved open the door and stepped outside.

Should I rewind? I mean what good would it really do? The problem is still there, it's just left unsaid. Left to fester. It's better this way, even if it feels like shit.

I just walked and walked without even thinking where I was going.

I seriously thought Warren would be cool. Had I been wrong all along about him? Was he really just the creep that showed up in my nightmare? I don't owe him just for being nice.

I was still walking with no destination in mind.

Where can I go where people will just leave me alone?

I looked up at the light house up on the cliff. So many memories flooded into my mind. My premonitions about the tornado, going up with Chloe the first day we were reunited, ending back up there as the tornado had reached Arcadia Bay. Then one last time when I "woke up" standing at the edge of the cliff in my funeral dress. I was not ready to go back up there yet.

Wait, funeral...Of course, the cemetery. It's right near here.

People generally didn't go the cemetery for conversation. I also realised I hadn't been to Chloe's grave since the funeral. Even now, I was still abandoning Chloe. I shook my head to try and get that thought out. I'd forgotten my ipod so I didn't have anything to distract me. All I had was my thoughts.

Great…

I still couldn't believe only a half hour ago I had felt more confident and hopeful than I had in the past week, only for Warren to almost completely undo that. I sighed and carried on walking. If the only place I felt I could go was a cemetery I didn't know what that said about me, but it probably wasn't good.

As I reached the gates to the cemetery I wondered if I should have brought some flowers for Chloe's grave. Then I realised Chloe would probably have hated flowers. I walked up the hill. I suddenly felt nervous, which was dumb. There would probably be no-one around and even if there was, they'd just keep to themselves. I reached the top of the hill and saw Chloe and William's graves. I also saw someone sat on a nearby bench. Who else would be here? They obviously heard my footsteps and glanced to the left to look at me. It was David Madsen. I hadn't recognised him out of his Blackwell uniform. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, way more causal than I was used to from him. He turned slightly upon recognising me.

"Caulfield?" He said.

"Yeah. Hi, David."

"Hmph. That's Mister Madsen to you."

"Okay…" I hadn't seen him since the funeral and I had no idea if I had even interacted with him the week Chloe died.

Did I do something to upset him?

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Um, I came to visit Chloe," I said timidly.

"Hmph, bit late for that ain't it?"

Why the hell is he being so angry?

I just stood there with my mouth open. He stood up to face me.

"You know she never did shut up about you since the day I met her," he said. "I always thought you must have been something special for her to have been so torn up. Frankly I don't know why she put you up on such a pedestal."

"What do you mean?" I said with my voice shaking. I was feeling more and more uncomfortable by the second.

"You were back in town for a month. I thought I recognised you from somewhere when you started at Blackwell. I should have figured who you were, that damn picture of you two was up on the living room wall for years. I knew I should have said something to you. Asked you why the hell you hadn't tried to contact her. I wish I had now. I wish Chloe could have got the explanation she fucking deserved."

"I- I wanted to-"

"But you didn't!" He screamed as he advanced on me. I wanted to back away but I was rooted to the spot, frozen with fear.

"I'm sorry…" I said, my voice breaking.

"Sorry doesn't matter now! It's too late. She's gone! Anything you wanted to say to her doesn't mean shit!"

"What about you?" I said trying to steel myself. "You could have stopped Nathan but you didn't. You could have stopped Chloe from being killed if you hadn't been getting dirt from him on other students."

"At least I was doing something! You just went about your days never even trying to find her, didn't you? You didn't care. You know one of the biggest rules in the military, you don't leave soldiers behind. You fight until your dying breath to save your comrades. What did you do? You just hid behind that stall like a fucking coward!"

I burst into tears and ran.

"That's right, just run away. Run away again and again, Caulfield!" I could heard David screaming. I reached the bottom of the hill and was still running. My bag was swinging around and slowing me down. I quickly raised the strap over my head and threw my bag to the side. I heard it hit the ground as I kept moving. I just wanted to get back to my dorm room and never come out. I ran through town for God knows how long. Occasionally I heard a stranger's voice ask what was wrong but I didn't stop.

Eventually I made it back to Blackwell. I was completely out of breath and almost collapsed in the parking lot. I ran across the campus, it was littered with other students who could hardly miss me. I ran to where the dormitories were and saw Logan throwing a football to another jock. I stopped in my tracks when I saw him and remembered Daniel. He took down his work because of some stupid thing Logan had said. I furiously wiped my eyes and took a moment to get my breath back. I marched over to Logan and stood behind him.

"Logan!"

He looked over his shoulder as he caught the football.

"Whoa, Max. You okay?" he asked.

"What did you say to Daniel?"

"What?"

"What did you say to Daniel online, about his drawing of me?"

"Jesus, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down. What did you say?"

"It was just a dumb joke. Relax would ya."

"Did you know he took it down because of you?"

"Not my fault he can't take a joke," he said with a stupid snigger.

"You're a joke. And a dick, Logan,"

"Not my fault no-"

"Shut up. Just shut up!"

"Oh my God, what the fuck is going on?" Came another voice.

I looked over at the dorm entrance and saw Victoria stood with her arms crossed.

"If you're gonna meltdown could you do it some place else?" I'd seen Victoria in a really vulnerable state in the dark room. Where she regretted everything she did to Kate. Right now, that was a distant memory. All I could see was the mean, self obsessed bully that had made my first month a Blackwell barely tolerable.

"Shut up, Victoria!" I shouted. Victoria's mouth fell open.

"Excuse me?" she said. I marched up to her and only stopped when my face was inches from hers.

"I said shut up," I repeated.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?"

"Victoria Chase, Queen Bitch of Blackwell?"

"I do not have to take this from you."

"There's a lot of things you don't have to do, Victoria. You don't have to step on people and bully them. You don't have to be so damn insecure that you feel the only way to get ahead is to make other people feel tiny. But you do it anyway, don't you?"

I-I-," Victoria stammered.

"You do it because you enjoy doing it. Not because you think you have to, not because your parents own some gallery and the only way to make it is to be a bitch. You enjoy it. So did Nathan. Do you have any idea how depressed Kate got from you spreading that video? How close she came to doing something- Nathan drugged her and carried on like nothing had happened."

"Hey, Nathan had problems," she retorted.

"We all have problems, Victoria. We all have our own damn insecurities. What matters is how we choose to deal with them. You choose to make people feel like they don't matter so that you do. Nathan teamed up with a psychopath and ruined so many girl's lives."

"Do you think I don't know all this?" Victoria screamed back. "Don't you think I feel awful knowing what Nathan had been doing. What Jefferson had been doing? That it could have me in their fucked up room?"

"Because none of it matters until it might happen to you, does it?"

Tears were now streaming down Victoria's face.

"Alright! I feel awful about everything. About Kate, about Nathan, Jefferson. Does that make you fucking happy?"

"No, because I'm nothing like you. If you really cared about Nathan you would made sure he got help. You didn't and he killed Chloe. She's dead and never coming back. Now get out of my way, Victoria." I shot her a glare that rivalled the one I had once given Jefferson. Victoria just stepped to the side and I barged past her, shoving the dormitory door open. I could feel my whole body shaking as I climbed up the stairs to the girls' floor.

I stepped into the hallway and marched down into my room. I slammed the door behind me as I paced up and down. I had so much rage in me I thought I was going to explode.

Nathan killed Chloe. Jefferson manipulated him but Nathan's the one who pulled the trigger. He killed the person I loved. He's not a victim. He could have gone to the police or done anything if he felt so bad about killing Rachel. Chloe's dead because of him, not Jefferson.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and grabbed my guitar. I smashed it against the wall until it was in a dozen pieces. I could hear footsteps pounding down the hall outside. It didn't matter who it was. I threw what was left of my guitar to ground and stuck out my hand. Everything rewound to moments before. I grabbed my guitar and smashed it up again. Rewind. Smash. Rewind. Smash.

"Ow!" I recoiled as I felt a sharp sting on my hand. The guitar had slipped in my hand with one of the strings leaving a large cut across my palm. I stuck out my hand and rewound everything once more. My guitar repaired itself but the cut was still there on my hand.

Of course, my powers fix everything except me.

I grabbed a couple of tissues from the box on my desk and pressed them into my palm. I sat down still feeling angry. Nathan's sneering face was running through my head. If he had been there in that moment I don't know what I would have done to him. A question appeared in my mind that I hadn't even had time to think of before.

Why the hell had he called me? Why had he left me that message warning me? We weren't even friends. He could have called Victoria and told everything to her but he called me. Why, so he could feel better about all the shit he had done?

I just wanted him to feel as bad as I did right now. I would give anything to have that happen.

I said Chloe was never coming back but that isn't true. She can come back.

Nathan would be dead instead and Jefferson would too. They fucking deserved it, Chloe should have been alive. I ran over to my desk and opened my journal to the butterfly photo. I took a deep breath and started to focus on it. The photo blurred as the words on the page swirled around in my vision.

1. You always tried.

The photo became clearer.

2. You pushed past your fear.

3. You know what you are capable of.

The photo was almost fully focussed.

4. YOU ARE A HERO.

I suddenly snapped myself away from the photo. My head was pounding. I sat down on the bed to try and calm down. Eventually the pain subsided. I stood up slowly and went back to my journal. I sat down and looked at the final thing I had written.

5. You are Max Caulfield

I stared at it before looking over all the other things I had written. I put my uninjured hand over my mouth as it sank in what I had been about to do. I was about to go back on my choice and let so many people die all because I had a bad day. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying again. I was done doing that. I looked over at the page again and remembered why I had kept this photo in the first place. I kept it because I knew I was strong enough to not change things, to not go back on my decision.

But I almost did…

And then you stopped. You chose to not go back. You are strong enough. You were just struggling, which is okay. As Joyce said "Never pretend things are okay when they're not." And right now, things are so not okay. I just had a really public meltdown which will no doubt get back to Principal Wells. I just gave Victoria a reason to want revenge. I screwed things up with Warren. Last but not least I don't even feel comfortable contacting Joyce after what happened with David. I could really do with some advice from her right now. I could call my parents but they still won't even be home yet. The last thing I want them to think is they made a mistake leaving me here.

Come on Max, you can worry about all this shit later. Right now you just need to calm down. Find something to bring you back down to earth.

I looked around my room. My guitar was stood up against my couch. I'd already smashed it to pieces several times. The poor thing didn't need me trying to play it now. My eyes landed on my teddy bear on my bed. I'd had it since I was ten. I remembered if I ever had bad days at school or was just upset about something I'd cuddle him close and it would help me feel better. I had nothing to lose so I got up and picked him up before laying down on bed, careful to keep the tissues wrapped around my palm. I held my teddy bear close to my chest and stared at the ceiling. It took me right back to when I was younger and a bad day for me consisted of failing a school test or something. Those days were long gone now. Now I had real problems to deal with.

But you'll deal with them, Max. You can do it.

With that last encouraging thought going through my head, I hugged my teddy bear tighter and closed my eyes.