Author's Note: This story deals with rape and alcohol abuse. Please take care of yourselves if those are triggering topics.

"You know at some point, we're going to need to talk about New York."

"We have talked about it."

"You forbidding it is not us talking about it."

"If you want to go to New York, don't go with Hyde. Let me take you, I have a place there."

"Of course you do. This isn't some sort of vacation. It's a work trip with my boss, who I would like to impress."

"You know he's had three assistants in the last eighteen months, all of whom have quit without notice."

"You don't think I can handle it?"

"That's not it."

"That's what it feels like."

Christian puts his fork down and sighs. "Ana, I know that you can handle anything. And if you really want to go, I can't stop you. But I'd like to take you there myself."

Ana felt herself soften toward him momentarily, then settled herself back into her mission. "I really want to go. And I want to do this on my own. Let's go to New York another time. But this weekend, I need to be focused on my work."

Christian pinched his lips together, then finally nodded gently. "Okay."

Ana smiled at him. "Thank you."

Ana and Jack rolled their suitcases into the hotel lobby. Ana walked up to the check-in counter and checked them into the two neighboring rooms that she had booked them earlier this week.

The whole flight there, Jack had barely spoken to her, he seemed almost nervous. Ana wrote it off as nerves about the book-expo. She smiled at him reassuringly whenever she caught him glancing at her.

The elevator ride up to their rooms was filled with a charged silence. What is it about elevators? Christian's words came to her mind suddenly. She smiled to herself at the memory.

"Are you excited to be in New York?" Jack asked her, having caught her smile.

"Oh," Ana said caught off guard by the sudden dialogue. "Yes. I've never been to New York."

"It's a great city. After we get settled in our rooms, maybe I can show you around? We could grab a drink."

"Thanks Jack, but I'm pretty tired from the flight. I want to be well rested for the book-expo in the morning."

Jack gave a firm smile that failed to cover up his disappointment. "It's no problem. I guess I'll see you in the morning." They walked the short distance to their rooms and parted.

"Ana, you have to celebrate with me! We just landed a big deal for SIP!" Jack was exuberant, and his energy was contagious.

Ana smiled. "Okay, sure."

Jack grinned. They made their way to the hotel bar after their cab dropped them off at their hotel.

"To SIP," Jack offered in cheers, holding out his glass.

"To SIP," Ana mirrored, chinking her glass against his. Her phone buzzed in her purse. "Oh, hold on a second."

It was a text from Christian. How is everything going?

Ana texted him back. Everything is going great. Jack and I just landed a big deal. We are grabbing a drink to celebrate.

Just one drink. Call me when you get back to your room.

Ana rolled her eyes. Yes, sir.

"Everything okay?" Jack asked her when she put her phone down.

"Oh, yeah," Ana said, taking a sip of her cocktail. "Christian was just checking in on me."

Jack gave a half-smile. "So Ana, tell me about how you liked your very first book-expo."

At this invitation, Ana started gushing about the events of the day. She finished her drink without realizing it and before she knew it, she was sipping at her second drink. Jack gazed at her intently as she talked. At the sound of air slurping through her tiny straw in her now empty glass, Ana realized that she was drunk.

"I think I should call it a night," Ana slurred slightly as she stood.

"I'll walked you back to your room," Jack offered.

With his hand on the small of her back, Jack guided her to the elevator. He walked her to her door. She said "goodnight" as she slid her key card into the door, not noticing he followed her smoothly into her room. She had just set her purse down on the table when she turn with a start to see Jack standing there.

"Jack, your room is next door," Ana said, thinking he had forgotten that they had separate rooms.

"I know," Jack said simply, closing the door behind him. He looked at her intently, and Ana's body became more alert through her alcohol fogged haze.

"Jack, I want to be alone right now," she said, making her voice as steady and as firm as possible. "I'm asking you to go."

"Ana," Jack said smoothly. "I expect my assistants to go the extra mile. I haven't been convinced that you really want to work for me."

"What are you talking about Jack?" she asked incredulously, taking a step back from him. "I read more than you ask me to, I'm here in New York working the book-expo with you."

Jack continued to walk toward her as she backed away from him. Her knees hit the bed, making her realize how vulnerable she was. There was no more room to back away from him without climbing onto the bed.

"There are some," Jack paused, trying to think of the right words, "physical requirements of this job that have yet to be satisfied."

Oh, god, she thought. He was trying to have sex with her. "Jack, no. I'm not going to have sex with you. I have a boyfriend."

Jack sneered at this. "I just think that if you are going to fuck your way up the ladder, at least fuck someone who can make you smarter, not just richer."

Ana's breath caught in her throat at the vulgarity of his words, and at his proximity. She could feel his breath on her face as her body froze. Do something! Her brain screamed at her, but her mind was a mixture of blind panic and alcoholic confusion. She felt his hands firmly grasp her shoulders and push her back onto the bed.

When her back hit the mattress, her body snapped back into some kind of instinctual response. "NO!" she screamed and started to sit up, only to have a heavy weight crash down on top of her body. He straddled her hips and started to unbuckle his belt. No, no, no, no! her brain ran on loop as she began hitting and clawing at his face. He quickly grabbed her wrists together and began to loop his belt around and around her wrists, fastening them securely with the buckle.

Her mind went into a full-blown panic. Ana was very familiar with the lack of power she had with her hands bound together. She had many blissful experiences bound up in Christian's many restraints. But this was not Christian. This was Jack Hyde. Her boss.

"Jack!" She cried out, trying to get him to look at her. "Please don't do this. Please, I won't tell anyone, just let me go."

Jack smiled a twisted smile that made her stomach drop. "Oh, Ana, do you know how long I've waited to fuck you?"

Ana closed her eyes, not wanting to look at the hungry look in Jack's eyes anymore. With one hand pinning her belted hands above her head, Jack proceeded to claw at her clothing with the other hand. Ana struggled uselessly against him, choking out "stop" and "no" between her sobs. Her shirt rose up and with it her bra, and Ana only felt the briefest sensation of air hitting her breasts before she felt his hand grab at her flesh.

"God, Ana, has anyone ever told you that you have the most gorgeous tits?" Jack asked in a husky voice.

Ana whimpered in reply. Jack scooted down to straddle her legs so that he could take her nipples into his mouth. Ana gasped involuntarily.

"Yeah, you like that, don't you?" Jack took her other nipple into his mouth and expertly stimulated them to hardness. Tears flowed down her face as she felt a familiar stirring between her legs.

Ana felt so confused as Jack alternated between each nipple, causing a response in her that she did not want to feel. Her back arced against his lips, betraying her. She didn't want this.

"Please, Jack, stop," she begged.

"Shhh, just give in to it. I know you want this. I've read those kinky emails you send to your boyfriend."

Ana's eyes flashed open at this information. The emails. Christian chastised her for using her work email instead of her personal email when they traded dirty talk during the work day. Now Jack knows, and this is why he's doing this. This is all her fault.

His lips started to move down her stomach. He unbuttoned her slacks and started to tug them down her hips. Devoid of the pleasure of his lips on her nipples, her body resumed its struggle in earnest. Jack had to take his weight off of her legs to try to remove her pants, and she began kicking wildly and thrashing from side to side.

Her high heel made contact with some part of Jack and she heard him groan as he stumbled back. She rolled off the bed and began crawling away, her hands still bound by the belt, her legs tangled in her slacks bunched around her ankles. She began screaming in earnest, "HELP!" She only crawled a couple feet away from the bed before his weight pinned her face-down on the ground.

"You're going to be sorry for that!" He growled into her ear as his hand reached around her head to cover her mouth. She screamed into his hand as he pulled his pants down with the other hand.

In another instant, he was inside of her. She screamed into his hand, a muffled harsh sound that mixed with his satisfied groan. Their sounds mingled again with his second thrust. And again with the third.

After that, Ana stilled. She stopped screaming. She stopped moving. Silent tears streamed down her face. She submitted to what was happening. She tried to focus on the feeling of the carpet rubbing against her sensitive skin. She tried to tune out the sensation happening elsewhere in her body. She just focused all of her intention on the carpet. She breathed in the musky smell of it, took in its blue and red pattern. Her cheek and torso grew sensitive rubbing against the carpet with each stroke that rocked her body forward and back.

She didn't know how long Jack had been thrusting away inside of her, but she could not ignore the sensation when she felt him quickening his thrusts. She knew that he was nearing his finish, and she dreaded what came next. With a deep groan, Jack stilled inside of her, and she could think of nothing to distract her from the sensation of his seed spilling inside of her. A sob escaped Ana as he pulled out of her.

Jack stood up and started straightening out his clothing. "Maybe next time we don't have to be so rough. Although, I know you are into that sort of thing." He chuckled to himself as he bent down and unbuckled the belt binding her wrists. Ana didn't move as he slid the belt back through the belt loops of his pants.

"Thanks for everything today, Ana," Jack said as if he was saying goodbye at the office. "Oh, and don't bother telling anybody, unless you want me to release your emails and ruin not only your career, but your boyfriend's too." With that, he left her room. She heard the door to his room next door open and close.

Finally alone, Ana shakily started to stir. She pushed her bra and shirt back into place and pulled her pants up. She could not stop her body from shaking. She sobbed into her hand, not wanting to make any loud sounds in case he heard her next door and decided to come back.

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. Her mind looped. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

Ana slowly stood up, feeling an ache between her legs. She shuffled hurriedly to the door and latched the dead bolt. She went to her purse and pulled out her phone with shaky hands. Seven missed calls from Christian and five text messages.

It's best not to keep Sir waiting.

My palm is twitching, waiting for you to call me.

Ana?

Ana, pick up the phone

Ana, GOD DAMN IT, pick up the damn phone

As she was reading through the text messages, her phone vibrated in her hands, and she jerked so hard, she nearly dropped it. It was Christian. She pressed answer and lifted the phone to her ear.

"Ana!" Christian's voice boomed sternly in her ear. "When you say you are going to call me after one drink, I expect you to call me. It's been over three hours and I haven't heard from you. What do you have to say for yourself?"

He was mad at me, she realized. This crushed her. Panic surged through her body again, though it had never really left. Her breath came in quick gulping wheezes, and she started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Ana?" Christian's voice immediately shifted to concern. "Ana, what's wrong?" Ana continued to sob and gulp for air. "Ana, I need you to calm down and tell me what happened. Breathe for me Ana, in and out, slowly." Christian breathed audibly into the phone, so that she could match her breathing to his. Christian listened to her breathing slow down, interrupted by sharp sniffles between breaths.

"Ana, what happened?" Christian tried again. Ana didn't respond, she just sniffled and cried. "Please Ana, talk to me."

"Jack," she started and broke into more sobs.

"Jack what?" Christian prompted urgently. "Did he hurt you?"

"Uh huh," Ana managed between sobs.

"What did he do to you?" Christian asked between clenched teeth.

"He… he r-raped me!" Ana cried.

"That son of a bitch!" Christian exclaimed explosively. "I will ruin him!"

Ana just cried in response. Finally, after a while she spoke the words that haunted her. "He knows. About us. He read our emails, the… kinky ones. He said he'd ruin our careers if I told anybody. He said there would be a next time. God, how could I be so stupid?"

"Damn it!" Ana flinched thinking he was mad at her, before hearing him exclaim, "That son of a bitch!" Christian was silent for a moment. He sighed heavily. "I will handle this. This is not the first time I've been blackmailed. I have a staff equipped to deal with this. There will be no next time. Trust me, Ana, he will never touch you again." Ana breathes a sigh of relief. Christian always knew how to handle messy situations. That's what she was, a messy situation.

"Where are you?"

"I'm in room 318 at the Hotel Hayden."

"Where is Hyde?"

"He's in the room next door."

The was a pause and the only thing Ana heard was keyboard clicks. "Okay, Ana honey, I'm arranging my New York driver, Omar, to come pick you up. He can take you to the hospital and-"

"No," she said suddenly. "I don't want to go to the hospital."

"Ana, honey, I want to know that you are okay. And if you decide to press charges you will have that evidence."

"No, I don't want to go through that. No hospitals. No police. Please don't make me," she pleaded. She didn't want to go through a rape kit right now. She did not want to be touched or poked or prodded or invaded or anything. She just wanted this whole nightmare to be over. And she did not want to press charges. It would be a high-profile trial: the girlfriend of Christian Grey raped! And Jack would be sure to expose their secret kinky sex life. Imagine the media frenzy. No, that was not going to happen.

"Okay. You don't have to go to the hospital right now, although I do want you to see Dr. Green when you come back to Seattle. You can go to my apartment in New York where you will be safe. Omar will be there in thirty minutes to pick you up. I'm heading to the airport now. I'll be there in about six or seven hours, okay?"

Ana nodded into the phone, then realized he couldn't see her. "Okay," she confirmed.

"It's going to be okay," Christian said firmly. "I love you."

A rock formed in her throat that Ana had to gulp down. "I love you too."

Ana hung up the phone and surveyed the room, there wasn't much out of place to show for the violent act that had just taken place. The comforter on the bed was a little wrinkled to show that bodies had lied down on it, but the room was remarkably clean. Unlike her.

With sudden urgency, Ana darted into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She stepped under water so hot she almost couldn't stand it. She tore open the plastic covered soap and lathered herself viciously with the bar, using her nails to try to scrape away the filth that lingered deep in her skin. She clawed and scrubbed between her legs, trying to flush the semen from her. She sent a silent prayer of gratitude that she was on birth control. She cried and sobbed as the water failed to wash away the events of the evening.

With resignation, she turned off the water and scrubbed herself dry, knowing that Christian's driver would be there soon. She pulled out her sleeping sweats and t-shirt and put them on. She started packing up her few possessions back into her suitcase. She thought about the pile of clothes lying on the bathroom floor. The clothes that Jack had torn from her body. No, she never wanted to look at or touch those items again. They would stay here, in this room, with the piece of her soul that she would never get back.

At the sound of a knock at the door, Ana flinched violently. As she approached the door cautiously, she saw a small piece of paper slide under the door. She bent down to pick it up. It was a business card with the name Omar Pascal written above the words Personal Driver. Ana relaxed slightly. She peered through the peephole to confirm that it was not Jack. She saw a middle-aged black man in a business suit. Ana jogged back to grab her suitcase and purse and looked at the room one last time before opening the door.

"Good evening Ms. Steel. My name is Omar and I will be your personal driver for the evening. May I take you bag?" Omar's voice had a soothing quality and Ana had to blink away tears. She nodded at the man, not trusting her voice. She glanced at Jack's door as she exited her room, terrified that he would hear her leaving and come out to confront her. It stayed mercifully closed as they left the room and walked to the elevators. Omar led her to where his car was parked in the hotel garage and she slid into the backseat. Omar silently began driving as she looked out the window, trying to keep her crying silent so that Omar wouldn't hear.

After about fifteen minutes, Omar pulled up into the parking garage of a swanky looking apartment complex. Together they made their way to the elevator and rode it up to the twenty-seventh floor. Omar stopped in front of room 2734. He pulled a key out and opened the door for her, walking in to turn on the lights and place her bag inside the entry. Ana stayed outside the open door in the hallway, not wanting to repeat the same mistake of being trapped inside a room with a man. She waited for Omar to walk back out and hand her the key. "Alright Ms. Steel, you are all set. If you need me to take you anywhere, you have my number, it's on my card."

"Thank you," Ana said stiffly and backed into the apartment, keeping her eyes on Omar as she shut the door to keep him and the rest of the world out. She locked and deadbolted the door, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. She turned to survey Christian's New York apartment. It was smaller than his apartment in Seattle but was just as stylish and sophisticated, with a grand piano in the middle of the sparsely decorated living room. It also felt cold and unfamiliar. She pulled out her phone and called Christian.

He picked up on the first ring. "Ana," he said in answer.

"I just got to your place," Ana said.

"Good," Christian said. "I'm glad you're safe."

Ana wasn't sure if she'd ever really feel safe again. "Are you on your way?" she asked, desperate for his physical comfort.

"Yes, I just took off. You should try to get some sleep, I won't get there until the early morning" he told her.

"Okay, I'll try."'

"Goodnight, my love," he said sweetly.

"Goodnight, Christian," Ana said, and hung up.

Ana puttered around the apartment for a while, exploring the space. There was nothing in the fridge. The cupboards were only stocked with a box of dry pasta and a jar of pasta sauce, but she wasn't hungry. There were several bottles of wine in a small wine rack on the kitchen counter. She grabbed a bottle of red wine and searched around for a corkscrew before finding it in the last drawer she looked. She poured a large glass of wine and took it to the couch. She turned on the TV, scared of the memories that silence brought. She found a cooking show and drank deeply from her cup, feeling her body starting to relax finally. She set her empty glass and laid down her heavy head on the couch to keep watching the cooking show. Eventually, she fell asleep like that.

Morning light flooded her closed eye lids. Distant car horns filtered in to reach her ears. She snuggled into the warm blanket draped over her body. Slowly she opened her eyes. She didn't remember grabbing a blanket last night. She looked around and startled slightly when she saw Christian sitting in the neighboring arm chair, staring right at her.

She looked over at the empty glass of wine on the coffee table and the TV, which was now off. She wiped the drool from her mouth self-consciously and pulled herself more upright.

"Good morning," Christian said softly.

"Good morning," Ana returned, feeling oddly formal. "How long have you been watching me sleep?"

Christian glanced at his watch. "About two hours."

Ana looked at the blanket covering her knees. She played with a loose thread, twisting it round and round her finger.

"Oh, Ana!" Christian gushed suddenly, his voice heavy with emotion. "I'm so sorry!" He slid onto his knees beside the couch, so he could take her hand in his and look into her eyes with his own pained ones. "I should have protected you from this. I should never have allowed you to come to New York by yourself."

Ana was startled by Christian's sudden closeness and intensity, and she recoiled ever so slightly from him, but she let him have her hand in his. Ana softened at seeing his pain. "Christian, no, don't do that. This isn't your fault, it's mine."

Christian looked up at her in bewilderment. "Ana, how could you possibly say that?"

Ana looked earnestly into Christian's eyes as tears filled her eyes. "Because," she said with voice thick with emotion. "I didn't listen to you when you warned be about not using my work email for personal use. That's why he did this, because… because he thought I'd like it." Ana put her free hand to her face as she started to cry.

"Oh, God, Ana," Christian said. "Yes, those emails were a mistake, but that did not give Jack the permission to… to do what he did. Jack is to blame for this."

Ana nodded her head, not fully convinced, but ready to drop the subject. Ana's gaze dropped to Christian's hand in hers. "Oh my God, Christian. What happened to your hand?"

Christian looked down at his hand, bloodied at the knuckles. "I stopped by Jack's room before I came here."

"You what!?" Ana exclaimed.

"I was so angry, Ana. As much as I wanted to be by your side instantly, I wanted to kill that mother fucker." Christian's voice was thick with venom.

"You didn't… kill him, did you?" Ana asked carefully.

Christian shook his head with an expression of what looked like regret. "No, but I gave him a good beating."

"Christian, he could call the cops!" Ana said afraid.

Christian shook his head. "He wouldn't want cops involved in this."

"He could release the emails!" Ana worried.

Christian shook his head at her again. "I put Welch on it. He's wiping Jack's computers remotely. I've also hired someone to sweep his place and his work to make sure he didn't have any hard copies."

Ana stared at Christian in stunned amazement. "Wow," she said finally.

"And he's been fired. And blacklisted from every publishing agency in the United States."

Ana scrunched here eye brows at him in confusion. "I thought your deal with SIP hadn't gone into effect yet."

"It hasn't. But the CEO is a friend of mine."

"Do I still have a job?" Ana pondered, concerned.

Christian smiled kindly. "Yes, you still have a job."

Ana nodded, feeling overwhelmed by all this information.

"I told you I would take care of this," Christian squeezed her hand.

Ana pursed her lips together and nodded her head again. She lowered her gaze to their entwined hands. She nervously wrung Christian's hand in hers.

Christian gazed down at their entwined hands and noticed for the first time the mark on her wrist. He fingered it gently.

She gazed down at the bruise he was brushing with his fingers. "He used his belt to tie my hands together," she said with a wavering voice.

Christian's shoulders stiffened. "I should have killed him," Christian spat with regret. Ana didn't say anything, just continued to look at her bruised wrist. Christian bent down and kissed the sensitive skin gently. Ana's eyes brimmed with tears.

"Can I hold you?" Christian asked tentatively. Ana nodded and made room for him to get on the couch next to her. She slid into his side and felt his arms secure around her. She started to cry again in his arms, a new kind of cry. A deep, sorrowful, broken kind of cry. He said nothing, just held her and stroked her hair soothingly. Ana cried herself out and just let herself be held in silence.

"Are you hungry?" Christian asked after Ana had calmed down. Ana nodded slightly before feeling him shift to grab his phone from his pocket. "Food will be here in a half hour." Ana just nodded again.

Soon the food arrived and was a welcome distraction. Afterward, Ana poured herself another glass of wine, even though it was only 8am, and put the cooking channel back on. Christian settled himself in the couch with her leaning into his body.

After the program she was watching finished, she turned to Christian and asked, "Can we go home now?"

"Of course," Christian said and pulled out his phone and texted again. "The jet is on stand by and Omar is ready to take us when you are ready. Do you need to pack anything?"

"I just need to change into some fresh clothes." With that, Ana removed herself from Christian's side and walked over to her suitcase. She rummaged around and pulled out her travel clothes and toiletry bag. She darted into the bathroom with them to change in private. She ran a brush through her hair and brushed her teeth. She splashed water on her face and took herself in. She looked like herself, only there was a dimness in her eyes that she had never seen before.

She shook herself and exited the bathroom, shoving her sleeping clothes and toiletry kit back into the suitcase and zipping it closed. She stood the suitcase up on its wheels and turned expectantly to face Christian. Sensing she was ready to go, Christian stood up from his seat. He walked over and offered his hand, which she took. Together they walked out of the building and rode the elevator down to the parking garage.

Ana nodded at Omar's familiar greeting and slid into the backseat with Christian. She was comforted by his presence and curled up into his side. She dozed as they inched through New York morning traffic. Eventually, Christian shook her gently when they arrived at the private airport. Christian led her into his private jet and she curled up in the blanket they provided. She held his hand through the whole five-hour flight. She asked for a glass of wine from the stewardess when she offered them beverages. She felt her body start to relax under its influence and fell asleep holding Christian's hand, comforted by the fact that she was finally going home.