Decided to continue this a bit more. I know that SOA fics are getting less traffic since the show ended so long ago but I'm really just writing this for me and decided to share it in the event anyone is still interested. Thanks in advance for any attention this gets.
Opie opened the door with a smile. I didn't return it. My gut still told me that moving back to Charming, even temporarily, was a bad idea. After separating from the Marines, I had spent a couple months traveling around the East Coast, just bouncing from hotel to hotel. To be honest, I didn't have a plan. I had sold or given away everything I had owned that wouldn't fit in my rucksack or my saddle bags. I probably chose to tour the East Coast because it was the furthest I could get from Charming without leaving the country. I didn't have any interest in leaving the country anytime soon. I had seen and done enough overseas. It didn't appeal to me. Charming didn't appeal to me either but when Piney called and told me how absent Opie was and how badly my niece and nephew were struggling, I felt a duty to come back. Duty. It was always forcing me into shitty situations. I needed to break that habit.
"Surprised to see you here," I said, walking past Opie and dropping my rucksack in the entryway. He closed the door with a sigh.
"I live here, Casey." He muttered. I shrugged and made my way to the kitchen. Opie watched me closely as I got a glass from a cabinet and opened the refrigerator. "Surprised you didn't go for the vodka."
"It's not even noon," I spat back. It had never stopped me before but I didn't appreciate his assumption. I poured myself a glass of chocolate milk and closed the fridge. He was staring at me wide eyed. "Where are the kids?"
"School." He said simply, still watching me curiously. I finished the glass quickly and rinsed it out in the sink before placing it in the top rack of the dishwasher. "Thanks for coming."
"Didn't have anything better to do." It wasn't a lie. As much as I didn't want to plant any roots in Charming, my family needed me. There it was again. Duty. "Thanks for letting me crash here until I find some place to rent or something."
"You can stay as long as you want," Opie shrugged. I didn't necessarily want to stay any longer than I already had. Instead of opening up about my inner turmoil, I just nodded. "I've got to get to work. Here's a key to the house and the car."
"Thanks. What time do I need to pick the kids up?" I leaned against the kitchen counter and watched him put his kutte on.
"3:30." He watched me nod and left. As soon as the front door closed, I took a deep, shaking breath. Donna had been gone for almost six months but I still saw her all around the house. The table cloth, the hand towels, the chair cushions. Everything screamed Donna. It also reminded me of how different we were, despite how close we were. Donna enjoyed collectibles and nick-knacks. I always stuck to the bare essentials. Donna enjoyed pastel colors. I preferred dark colors.
I spent the rest of the morning unpacking my rucksack into the dresser in the guest room. After that, I started doing laundry. I put the kids clothes away and put a basket of Opie's clothes by his bedroom door. I wasn't comfortable entering what had been his and Donna's room. Once I ran out of things to do, I took a shower and headed out for lunch.
Food options were limited in Charming and I didn't have time to ride further out, so I settled on the diner. I sat in the same booth that I'd sat in the last time I was in Charming. The same waitress came to take my order and I wondered if her schedule had changed since the last time I was in town or if she just worked all the time. Her eyes lingered on me curiously as she took my order. It annoyed me but I chose not to say anything. I didn't want my food tampered with and I didn't want to burn any bridges with one of the only places to eat in town.
"Are you new here?" The boy bussing the table next to me asked as he wiped off the table. I shook my head. Technically, I wasn't. I had probably lived in Charming longer than he had, just not recently. "I haven't seen you around."
"I haven't been around to be seen." I realized how mysterious that may have sounded but I didn't care. He nodded, seeming to get the point that I wasn't here to chit-chat. The waitress returned a couple minutes later with my burger and fries. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, sweetheart." She smiled and walked away. I knew she probably had questions just like the busboy did. Either he warned her not to try asking or she came to the decision on her own. Either way, I appreciated being able to enjoy my food in peace. I scanned the small diner as I ate. There were a few people in business suits sitting together and a younger woman with two small kids that looked like they were itching to get up and run around. I was a little surprised there weren't more people there at prime lunch time. In San Diego, where I was last stationed, everywhere was packed at lunch.
"Oh, hey. Casey, right?" I look up from my fries and noticed the prospect that I had put on his face the night of Donna's wake. I couldn't remember his name. Pip? That didn't feel right. "Kip."
"Yeah, no. I remember," I did remember him, just not his name. "How's it going? You can sit down if you want."
"Thanks! I'm just picking up lunch for the garage." He sat down across from me with a smile. I wasn't sure why I invited him to sit. "I heard you're back for good."
"Well, I'm back." I wasn't sure about the good part. I wasn't sure if it was permanent like he implied or if it was going to be good for anyone but Donna's kids. "When is your prospect year up?"
"A few months," He smiled brightly. I nodded politely and silence fell between us. Some might call it an awkward silence but I wasn't really hoping for more conversation so it was comfortable to me. The waitress appeared with two plastic bags full of Styrofoam trays and sat them in front of Kip. She turned her attention to me quickly.
"Can I get you anything else? We have chocolate pie today." She offered. I shook my head and pulled out a twenty.
"You can keep the change. Thank you." I knew the meal was less than ten bucks but I appreciated good service and hoped she'd remember next time. I followed Kip out of the diner and watched him approach the tow truck.
"I guess I'll see you around?" He asked, setting the bags in the passenger side. I nodded. Returning to the clubhouse or garage was inevitable but I wasn't ready quite yet. It wasn't the building's fault but I still blamed the inhabitants for their part in getting Donna killed. Even if they didn't pull the trigger, I know her association with the club was what put her in danger. I nodded and got on my bike, starting it as he pulled out of the lot. I checked my watch and sighed. I still had two hours before I needed to get the kids.
Instead of going back to Opie's house and staring at the walls, I headed out to ride around outside of town. It was nice. The countryside surrounded me instead of hundreds of cars and trucks. I let my left hand rest on my thigh as I leisurely navigated the roads that I'd learned how to ride a motorcycle on. It was the first time that nostalgia didn't hit me like a load of bricks. I had a little 500cc back then but I felt like the bike gave me wings and freedom. It didn't matter that Opie and Jax always left me in the dust when we rode together. I just enjoyed the wind on my face and the feeling of flying.
I pulled over at a burnt down building, or at least the remnants of it. I didn't remember any houses out this way, so it must have been a barn or something. I didn't see any crime scene tape, so I let my curiosity win and got off my bike to explore. The charred wood crunched under my boots as I walked through the rubble. I turned over a burnt metal box with my foot and raised my eyebrow. It was what I thought. An ammo box. I twisted my mouth, curious as to what had caused the fire and what else was in there. I continued walking until a wisp of a pungent odor hit my nose. I recognized the odor but it was faint. I backed away and took a deep breath when I thought I was at a safer distance. The air was normal again. I decided I was done exploring and got back on my bike, pointing my front wheel towards Charming.
The comforting nostalgia feeling was gone. The smell at the burned building erased all of the happy memories. I wished I didn't recognize it so easily. I wished my mind let me think it was a skunk or a rotting animal. It wasn't. That smell was unique.
"Aunt Casey!" Ellie ran to me and gave me a tight hug as Kenny casually followed behind her. He was smiling at least. I stood upright and gave him a one armed hug as he joined us at the hood of the car. "I didn't know you were picking us up today."
"Surprise, kiddo." I laughed but I was secretly annoyed that Opie hadn't told them when I was arriving. The last thing they probably needed were more surprises. We got into the car and I waited until they were safely buckled in to start the engine. "How was school?"
"Good. I passed my math quiz." Ellie said with a smile. I smiled back at her in the rear view mirror and glanced at Kenny. He was quiet as Ellie continued to tell me about middle school life that day. I mostly listened with a few 'mmhmms' and 'oh reallys' thrown in there to show that I was paying attention. Kenny didn't say a word the entire ride back to their house.
"Kenny, wait up." I said, calling him back before he rushed into the house. Ellie picked up on my plan of chatting with him one and one and continued inside. Kenny hooked his thumbs in the straps of his backpack and I couldn't ignore how it reminded me of how I stood with my plate carrier. I shook the memory out of my head. "I'm sorry you didn't get a heads up that I was getting you and Ellie today."
"It's okay. Nice change from grandma. How long are you staying this time?" There it was. He was hurt that I had left after the wake. I offered him a small smile but I wasn't sure how effective it was.
"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I'll probably find my own place to give you and Ellie some room but I'm in Charming for the foreseeable future." I hoped my words comforted him a little, even if I couldn't be definite with anything. I wasn't sure how long I would be in Charming but I didn' have plans on leaving while he and Ellie needed me.
"Okay. Cool." He nodded with a little grin and went inside, essentially ending the conversation. I didn't really mind. He got the information he needed and there wasn't much more I could offer at the moment. "Aunt Casey?"
"Yeah?" I was a little surprised he'd spoken again so quickly. He leaned against the kitchen counter and twisted his mouth, clearly struggling with what he needed to say. "What's up, Kenny?"
"Are you any good at history?" He asked, opening his backpack and pulling out a small stack of papers. There was a large, red '60%' written in the top right corner. It looked like an essay on World War II. I handed the papers back to him with a nod.
"I'm not great but we can work on that grade. Are they letting you redo it?" I asked, watching his eyes for any signs of deception. He nodded and his cheeks blushed.
"I kind of told the teacher it was hard for me to concentrate because of…" his voice trailed off. I knew what the rest of the sentence centered around. I nodded, releasing him from finishing the explanation. "She said I can redo it and turn it in on Monday morning."
"Cool. We'll work on it tomorrow and Sunday then. No homework on Friday night." I said, not caring if Opie or even Donna had different rules for them. Ellie's "really?" told me that this was a foreign concept to them. I nodded. "Look, guys. You work hard during the week and you deserve a break. I remember how much homework there is and I always hated coming home on Fridays and just continuing work. We can do homework when you want to during the weekend. As long as it gets done."
"Mom said you never did your homework and that's why you went in the Marines." Ellie said, calling me out on my partial lie. I rolled my eyes. Of course Donna had ratted me out to her kids. She probably used me as an example of what not to do in school. I just shrugged, refusing to justify my school behavior.
"I joined the Marines because they're the coolest branch." I said, opening the refrigerator. Aside from the chocolate milk and some eggs, there wasn't much inside. I closed it and twisted my mouth, wondering what Donna would do. It didn't take me long to decide that she would go to the grocery store and make dinner. "Y'all want pizza?"
They both answered with an excited 'yes'. I laughed and pulled the pizza shop's menu off the refrigerator. I instructed them to come to an agreement on toppings while I changed clothes. I knew it was unlikely but I felt like I could still smell the pungent odor from the burnt building. Ellie and Kenny started debating before I even made it to the guest room. I figured it would be a good compromise practice for them.
"Hey Aunt Casey, we agreed on toppings but we have a question," Ellie said nervously. She was staring at her tennis shoes and biting on her bottom lip. I silently wondered why she responded that way but chose not to focus on it too much. I raised my brows, letting her know I was ready for the question. "We were just wondering if we could go out to eat instead of getting delivery. I understand if you're busy. We just-"
"Yeah, of course we can." I dropped my hand that I had raised to stop her from rambling. The both lit up and shared a high five. I smiled, remembering how Donna and I used to celebrate trivial victories like that. I hesitated. Maybe to them, this victory wasn't as trivial as I thought. "Do you want to see if your dad wants to come with us?"
"He won't. He never does." Kenny said flatly. I took a deep breath to keep myself from sharing my opinion. I nodded with a small smile.
"Tell you what. You two change or stay in your school clothes, up to you. I'm going to run to the bank real quick. While I'm gone, I want both of you to make a list of five things you want me to get at the grocery store tomorrow. No basics like bread or anything. Just list your favorite stuff, okay?" I picked up my helmet and my jacket as they started chatting excitedly about the task I had given them. I wasn't too worried about leaving them alone while I ran an errand. They were older than Donna and I were when we were left alone for hours. I would be back in less than twenty minutes.
"What's wrong?" Opie rushed out of the garage as soon as I pulled onto the lot. I chose to ignore how everyone else was staring at me as I got off my bike. "Are the kids okay?"
"They're fine. They're making a grocery list. Do you have club shit tonight?" I put my hands on my hips, prepared to call him out on his shit. He shrugged.
"There's the party but I'll be home after." He said, nodding to someone behind me that I didn't care to turn and identify.
"No, you'll be home before the party and you're going to eat pizza with your children." I snapped. He rolled his eyes and I felt my body turn white hot. "Don't you dare brush them off. They've already got a dead parent. They deserve more than a dead-beat dad."
I turned on my heel, uninterested in continuing the conversation. I said my piece and got my point across. I locked eyes with a tall, dark son standing a few bikes down from my own. I recognized him immediately but didn't have the energy to speak to him. I was too pissed.
"Casey!" Opie jogged over to me before I started the bike. I glared at him and he put his hands up in surrender. "I was just going to ask what time."
"Six. At the pizza place." I said, granting him with a small nod. He backed away nodding as I left the lot. Over my dead sister's body was I going to allow him to emotionally neglect or abandon his kids. They deserved more.
Opie showed up for dinner, right at six. Seeing the smiles on Ellie and Kenny's faces was worth having to snap at him in front of everyone at the garage. The kids chatted with their father about their days and he was attentive, even smiling and joking with them several times. I knew that it would be better to have Donna there with them than me but I was proud that I could at least bring them back together. I was pretty quiet during dinner, just letting the kids enjoy their time with Opie. I knew he might need reminders and extra pushes to keep it up but at least this dinner was a start.
"Casey, wait up." Opie said after we exited the restaurant. I paused and let the kids run ahead to the car. "I appreciate you yelling at me today. I'm going to skip the party tonight and come home."
"You're welcome." I said with a shrug. It was the first time I had ever been thanked for yelling at someone and it was a strange feeling. I turned to follow the kids and he caught my arm. I reflexively pulled it away. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I was just going to say that if you wanted to, you can go to the party tonight. I know the move back here has to be hard and you always love a party to blow off some steam." Opie laughed, trying to lighten the mood. I hesitated. He was right. Partying was one of my go to stress relievers but I was still hesitant about spending time at the clubhouse. I was torn. "Just an offer. You're obviously welcome to do whatever you want."
"Yeah. Yeah, I think you and the kids need some time together and who knows when I'll get a chance to go to a party again." I realized I couldn't always depend on him skipping the parties and he'd inevitably go out on runs with the club. "Thanks, Ope."
"Yeah, no problem. I'll follow you all home." He said, squeezing my shoulder gently. I didn't realize how much stress I was suppressing until that moment. I felt selfish for thinking it but I had a feeling that a clubhouse would be free of reminders of my sister. I never wanted to forget her but Opie's house was too much for day one. It might be too much for the next thousand days but I would just have to learn to accept it. The party would at least put that daunting task on pause.
I told the kids goodnight and changed quickly before heading to the clubhouse. As soon as I pulled onto the lot, I started questioning if I had made the right decision. However, I knew that I'd be able to silence the doubt with some free liquor. I noticed the bonfire going and tried to ignore how similar flames probably created the pungent odor I recognized earlier in the day.
"Casey! Hey!" Kip opened the door for me with a big smile. I forced myself to return a smile and made a beeline for the bar. I noticed Kip following me closely. "I didn't think you'd be here tonight."
"Well, I'm here." I said, walking around the bar with my newly acquired bottle of vodka. Kip laughed as I poured myself a glass. He started to say something when the mystery man I hooked up with after Donna's wake stepped between us. He grabbed my bottle of vodka and took a drink from it, locking eyes with me. I rolled my eyes, ignoring the failed attempt at either intimidating me or flirting with me. "There's more behind the bar."
"I know." He said, taking another drink and setting it down in front of my glass. Kip stepped around the man so he could be seen again. "What do you want, prospect?"
"No-nothing. Casey and I were just talking." He said. I raised my brow, surprised with his bravery. A dark smile spread across the man's face. "I-I mean you can talk too. I mean, we can all talk."
"Get lost, prospect." He snapped. I rolled my eyes and took another drink as Kip walked away with low shoulders.
"You didn't have to be an ass to him." I said, refilling my glass. The man shrugged. "He's just a kid."
"He's probably your age." He laughed. I rolled my eyes again. "What are you? Twenty-five?"
"I'm old enough." I didn't feel the need to indulge him with more details about myself. "One night stands only work if you don't keep coming around."
"You're in my clubhouse, girl. You're the one coming around." He had a point and I should have seen it coming. "Heard you're moving back."
"Have you been asking about me? How sweet." I gave him an obviously fake smile. He shook his head and looked up at the crow eater that had stopped in front of us on the other side of the bar.
"Hey, Happy. You want a beer, honey?" I snorted and bowed my head in silent laughter, feeling his eyes glaring at me as he waited for his beer.
"What's funny?" He growled before taking a drink. I laughed and shook my head, too amused by his name and his frustration. "Stop."
"Oh, don't get your kutte in a wad. I just didn't expect your nickname to be so ironic." I laughed. He grunted. "Look, let's just this out of the way right now. I'm not nice. I'm not here to kiss your ass like some crow eater or sweet butt."
"I know. You got too much attitude to be a crow eater." He grumbled. I nodded in silent agreement. He left as abruptly as he'd appeared. I turned back to my vodka and noticed the crow eater was back. I ignored her but she continued to stand there staring at me.
"What?" I asked, tired of her silent presence. She put her hands on her hips and turned her head quickly, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. "I can get my own drink. I don't need your attention."
"You're not going to last long around here talking to a son like that, sweetie." Her voice was dripping with venom. I quickly put the pieces together and figured she had a thing for Happy. I sat my empty glass down and ran my tongue over my top teeth. "How did you even get in here?"
"The door was opened for me and I put one foot in front of the other." I said sweetly. Her arms folded across her chest. "Don't worry, sweetie. I'm not going after Happy."
"Ha. You wouldn't last a week with Happy. Not with that smart mouth." She snapped. I smirked and picked up my bottle and glass.
"Better a smart mouth than a used up mouth." I snapped back. She looked pissed when I turned and walked away. I immediately felt better and successfully forgot what I came there to forget. There was an open seat next to Tig, so I sat down beside him and sat the bottle of the coffee table. "Before you try to start. Don't"
"I thought it was you last time you were here but now I know you're our little Casey." Tig laughed. I tipped an invisible hat toward him and poured a drink. "How you been?"
"Is that a serious question?" I laughed, refusing to think of the circumstances that would make up an honest answer. "How are your twins?"
"Good. Just saw them a couple months ago." He said, leaning back and stretching his arms out along the back of the couch. I raised my brow, wondering how he was so nonchalant about seeing them so infrequently. "They're grown. Busy with their own lives."
"Right." I said. It wasn't my place to question his parenting. I only cared about how Ellie and Kenny were parented. I noticed myself thinking too much and drank my glass of vodka quickly. I leaned back and gave the liquor time to erase my thoughts again. In a couple minutes, I felt, or better, didn't feel my nose. "How you been?"
"You care?" Tig laughed. I shook my head honestly. I didn't. Tig was alright but I wasn't big on checking in on anyone's emotional state. Not anyone that wasn't family at least. I poured another drink, not trusting my train of thought. "Well, Semper Fi"
"Oorah," I said, taking a drink. I knew that Tig had been in the Marines for a few years before he was dishonorably discharged following an incident with a commander's daughter. We had talked about the Corps a lot before I enlisted. "You owe me a drink, by the way."
"Looks like you've already gotten a few. Why do I owe you one though?" He laughed, clearly not remembering our bet before I left for basic. I rolled my eyes and lifted my right arm so he could see my tattoo. His brow raised. "No shit? You did it huh?"
"I did." I lowered my arm with a smirk, proud that I had proved him wrong. I trusted that he wouldn't ask many questions about my time in the Marines. He knew better. The tattoo was enough.
"Good for you, Casey. I'm glad I was wrong." Tig said, patting me on the back. I nodded and finished my drink. I stood up and the room started to spin a little. I had reached my happy place. "Where you going?"
"Wandering." I said, stepping away from the couch. I walked around the clubhouse, speaking to a couple people and watching other curiously. It was getting to the point in the night where the croweaters were taking their places on the laps of sons and hang-arounds. I twisted my mouth, a little disappointed that I hadn't planned a safe way to get back to Opie's. Moments later, I felt a hand on my lower back. I stepped forward and turned, expecting to see Happy. Instead, there was a burly looking hangaround. "Get your hand off of me."
"Calm down, honey. I'm Toby." He said with a drunk smile. I glared at him, feeling my happy, fuzzy drunk quickly burning away by white, hot rage.
"I don't give a flying fuck who you are. Don't touch me." I snapped a little louder than I intended. I noticed someone walking towards us as Toby argued against me.
"You can't come here dressed like that and then act like a prude." He slurred. His choice of words only pissed me off more. It was similar logic a commanding officer had used when dismissing a young Marine's sexual assault report. My fist balled and I was about to break his nose when Happy stepped in front of me and pushed Toby backwards. "Woah, Happy. Didn't realize she was one of yours."
"I'm not one of anybody's," I snapped, lunging at him. Someone caught me by the waist and I threw my elbow back. I heard a crack and knew that their nose had just busted or broken.
"Fuck, Casey." It was Kip. I pushed him away and lunged at Toby again. Happy caught me and shook his head. I pushed against him but he didn't move an inch.
"Stop. I got this. Go cool off." He handed me a set of keys and pointed down the hallway leading to the dorms. I glared and he glared back. "Go."
"Fucking asshole." I intended the insult to be directed towards Toby but I didn't care who took it personally. I stumbled down the hall, wondering first why I was listening to someone named Happy and second, how I was supposed to know which dorm would open with his key. I heard loud moans coming from behind the first door, so I determined that probably wasn't the right one. I tried the third door on a whim. No luck. I tried the fourth. Nothing. Instead of continuing to blindly try doors. I just sat down and leaned my back against the wall. The room was spinning too much now.
"Wake up, Casey." I groaned and covered my eyes with my arm, anticipating that someone was going to turn on a light. I felt myself being picked up but I knew if I fought it, I would get sick. I opened my eyes and recognized Happy's head before closing my eyes again. I heard a door open but thankfully he didn't turn the light on. He sat me down on the bed and stepped away. I opened my eyes and let them adjust to the dark room. It looked almost exactly like the one I stayed in last time. "Oh now you wake up."
"Is Kip okay?" I asked quickly. Happy laughed and nodded his head. "Is his nose broken?"
"Oh yeah." He laughed. I felt bad. I didn't intend to hurt him. I was pissed and he caught me by surprise. I just reacted. Happy stopped laughing and sighed. "Hey, don't worry about it. He's had his nose broken before. Boxed or something in the Army."
"I didn't mean to." I muttered. Happy nodded and started undressing. I shook my head, knowing I didn't have it in me to have sex.
"Calm down, Casey. I'm not trying to fuck you tonight." Happy said, pulling his shirt off. I let out a sigh of relief. "Toby is banned."
"Good. Fucking prick." I grumbled. Happy nodded and extended a hand towards me. It took me a second to realize he was trying to get me to stand up. I stood and he lowered his hands to the bottom of my shirt.
"If I take this off are you going to hit me?" He asked with a laugh. I shook my head. I probably could have managed to undress myself but if I didn't have to, I wasn't going to try. Happy peeled my shirt off and I felt my body start to warm up. I bit my bottom lip, reminding myself that if I pushed myself, I'd probably throw up all over him. "Taking your jeans off. No kicking."
"I'm not going to hurt you." I laughed. I doubted I would even have the coordination to try. Happy slowly pulled my jeans down, his knuckles brushed my skin and my body heated up and tingled. I took my bra off and tossed it onto my discarded shirt. Happy's eyes fell to my tits before he grabbed a t shirt out of his dresser. "Here. Put this on or not fucking you is going to go out the window."
"I'd probably puke on you." I laughed, pulling his shirt on. It was big on me, flowing down to my mid-thigh. Happy climbed into the bed and held the sheets up, inviting me to join him. I climbed into bed beside him and laid my head on his chest. Happy wrapped an arm around me.
"Don't puke in the bed." He whispered. I laughed and closed my eyes, drifting to sleep quickly.