Otto settled back, sighing with satisfaction. Lucy's cooking had only improved with time, and he hadn't really been eating properly for ages, even before he'd started taking copious amounts of Psyconium to cope with the increasingly frequent and painful headaches. But having his favorite stew for the first time in what must have been twenty years was too much of a temptation. He'd had three large helpings, and he only stopped because he couldn't eat anymore. Lucy looked pleased as the others chatted and finished off their food. She slipped an arm around Otto's shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Was hungry, yes?"

"Perhaps a bit," Otto admitted.

"You never eat when you're upset," Compton said from his left.

"Must feel a bit better than you have been," Helmut said, rolling over to settle beside him.

Otto shrugged, looking away. He wanted another swallow of Psyconium, and he rubbed his forehead fiercely. Bob came over and held out a bottle of what appeared to be water.

"Have a swig."

"Alcohol won't help," Otto muttered.

Bob cringed. "It's coconut water with a few drops of Psytanium."

"Oh." Otto wilted.

Bob pushed the bottle into his hand anyway and gave him a hesitant smile. "It's okay. I get why you'd think that."

"You have made incredible strides since Maligula was locked away again," Otto said, then he took a long drink of the water. The Psytanium did help with the aftereffects of the Psylirium and the water was cool and sweet.

Bob blinked. "Thanks?"

Otto pulled the bottle away from his mouth and swallowed. He was done with this. No more games. "I promise you, Bob, if I was trying to insult you, I have a wide vocabulary in multiple languages to choose from. I would not be so subtle, and you know it."

Bob shifted. "You're always so… mean though."

"I am not mean!" Otto snapped, his voice coming out in a shout.

Bob jumped and flinched back. Otto looked away—even now, they couldn't get along—then Bob reached out and patted his shoulder again. "Must be a sore spot. I'm sorry."

Otto stared suspiciously at him then lowered his voice again. "I'm not trying to be mean, Bob. I never try to be mean when I speak with anybody. When I say those things you take as slights, they are simply facts that I am stating because I notice them. I am not making any judgment, positive or negative, about what I am observing. I am blunt, Bob, but I am not sorry. I shouldn't have to be when I don't mean it that way. It's just how it's always taken."

Bob stared at him then breathed out and smiled. "You mean that."

It was a statement, not a question, but Otto still nodded. "Of course I do. Do you honestly see me as that needlessly petty and cruel?"

Bob hesitated. "For a long time, yeah I did. But not anymore. That kid helped get me started, and I've been talking a lot with Helmut, too. I'm going to want a real Exam done soon, but not just yet. It's too messy to invite anybody in still." He looked away, ashamed.

"If that's the sentiment, then I refuse, too," Otto said, picking at a loose thread in his coat. "I haven't been keeping house lately. Not since… since Razputin started poking around the Motherlobe, I think. Hm."

"My Pootie stirred up all things for me," Lucy said. "But really, he is troublemaker. Wild and unpredictable." She paused. "Like Morona, he often goes where he shouldn't. Only it has turned out well for him. So far."

"Lucy," Ford said gently, pulling her into an embrace.

"Is alright, Crully," she scolded lightly, kissing his mouth. "Have been talking with Holly."

Otto let out a bark of laughter. "You don't mean Agent Hollis Forsyth, do you?" He laughed again when Lucy nodded, shaking his head. "I have never heard anybody call her Holly, Lu. I wouldn't dare, personally. She can cut my funding."

"Ah, gotta be careful now that I'm not around, eh?" Ford asked, holding Lucy close. She settled in his lap. Nobody batted an eye.

"Oh yes indeed," Otto said. "And there's far too much supervision. I miss the old days where there wasn't so much red tape. I would never have been allowed to invent the Astrolathe back then if I'd had the same stipulations then that I do now."

He sighed ruefully. Then Helmut rolled over. "So about this Psyconium stuff. How bad is it?"

Otto clenched his fists again and studied the floor. "I have been regularly taking it every day since we faced Maligula this last time. It went from once a day to several times, and I am now drinking the solution undiluted for the same effects."

"Effects being?" Compton probed.

"Relief from headaches," Otto muttered. "It's nothing physical. I've had scans done."

"So it's psychological," Cassie said.

"If I were to guess?" Bob asked hesitantly.

"You may certainly try, but I can't explain it myself," Otto said.

"Despite what you said out there, I think you were affected by what happened," Bob said. "And all of it has been brought front and center."

Otto gazed at him. "I never said I wasn't affected, Bob. That was your assumption. All of you thought that besides Ford, and at some point he lost his mind and I was the only one holding our dream together. I didn't have time to fall apart. We'd just finished the Motherlobe, a project we all wanted to see done, and yet I was the only one left." He pointed at Bob. "You were getting drunk every day." He gestured at Compton. "You became an anxious mess and started to withdraw from everybody but Cassie until she left, at which point you locked yourself in a Psychoisolation Chamber. And Cassie, you eventually abandoned us for your bees. Meanwhile, Ford lost his mind, and we all supposed Lucy and Helmut were dead. I had to take over everything."

"Well no wonder you've been having headaches," Helmut said.

"What do you mean by that?" Otto asked.

"You've been through so much, sweetie," Cassie said, resting her cheek alongside his. "That's a lot to process."

"What's there to process?" Otto asked flatly, rolling his eyes. "Our entire world crashed down around our ears because we couldn't kill our friend, and then we ended up losing two people anyway. Because of my stupid invention."

"Bingo," Bob said. "That's it. You feel like it was your fault, just like we did."

"Well, it was," Otto said, refusing to look at them as his head throbbed. "Without my invention, Helmut wouldn't have been lost."

"Well, I wasn't lost, Otto. Not exactly," Helmut said.

Otto glanced at him. "What? Where were you then?"

"I, uh, I was in your Brain Depositary the whole time."

Otto's whole world seemed to narrow as he gazed at Helmut, unable to move, think, or even breathe. He vaguely realized there was a scramble around him before something was shoved in his mouth.

"Drink!" Lucy barked in his ear.

Otto obeyed, and it felt like swallowing fire. He shoved away the flask and began coughing as his throat seared. "What is that?" he managed to ask between coughs.

"Is old family remedy," Lucy said. "Will pep you up, yes?"

"I'll say," Otto gasped, his eyes streaming. "Damn, Lu."

Lucy grinned and corked the flask. "Works every time," she said smugly.

Otto looked around at his friends. "So it really is my fault," he said numbly.

"His brain was in your lab because I brought it there when I used the Astrolathe on Lucy and Augustus, Otto," Ford said. "After I realized what I'd done, I used it on myself before I could tell anybody I had found him. It was my fault for leaving an unlabeled brain out and my fault for not remembering to tell anybody."

"I had no idea," Otto muttered. He removed his glasses and wiped at his eyes. "Bob, Helmut… I…" His voice broke.

"Don't be like that," Bob said, stepping over to sling an arm across his shoulders. "You kept him safe, at the very least. That means a lot, Otto."

"Nothing I did means anything!" Otto exclaimed, but he leaned into Bob instead of running. He was tired of running.

"You were the last one who stayed," Compton said. "That counts for something, I'd say."

"Yeah, man. You kept our dream afloat while the rest of the crew got lost at sea," Helmut said, rolling right up to press his casing against Otto's leg.

"But all that searching was for nothing," Otto mumbled.

"We all searched," Bob said. "But then we stopped. You're no different than us."

Otto hesitated. "I… I never stopped," he admitted quietly. "I make regular excursions twice a year to Grulovia for a few days at a time. I've canvassed most of the lake by now, and I still haven't found you, Helmut."

There was a long pause then Bob came around and met his eyes. "What did you just say?"

"Don't make me repeat myself," Otto begged. "I know it's stupid now."

"Of course it's not stupid!" Bob shouted, and his voice was fiercely happy. He flung his arms around Otto's shoulders and squeezed him. "Do you have maps? Coordinates? Anything else that will help us narrow down where to look? We've been to Grulovia twice, but we didn't know what to do other than start walking. All the landmarks from our battle are gone."

Otto sat stiffly in the embrace—he'd never been a hugger—but he didn't pull away. Bob had never acted like this around him. Perhaps there was a chance for their friendship.

"Oh, I have detailed logs about every expedition I've made out there," he said when Bob pulled back, his expression hopeful. "You know me. Documentation is my thing, as you put it." He paused then smiled a little. "I think it used to drive you crazy, though."

"I'll never complain about it again," Bob said, tears in his eyes.

"They're in my lab. When we get back to the Motherlobe, I'll show you what I've got."

Bob nodded and hurried to sit down, overwhelmed at the unexpected news. Otto watched him then patted Helmut's casing. "We'll find you yet," he said softly.

"With all of us looking, it won't take much time at all," Helmut said. "But I'm still worried about you, man."

Otto wilted a little and turned his face away. "I suppose it's nice somebody finally cares, but I don't know what to do about it. I've done all I can. I don't have anything left."

"First thing you need to do is get out of that lab," Ford said. "Take a vacation. No Psychonauts business unless there's a major emergency. You haven't ever had a break. Not since the Motherlobe opened. I checked myself."

Otto ran his fingers through his hair. "I won't know what to do with myself," he admitted with a laugh, and he was shocked to hear his voice was quavering.

"Otto, sweetie? What's wrong?" Cassie asked, brushing his shoulder.

Without any other warning, Otto covered his face and began to howl. "I've missed you all so much," he sobbed, and then he couldn't get anything else out for a long, long time.

When he finally calmed down, Lucy handed him a mug of hot tea, and Otto accepted it gratefully. Bob squeezed his shoulders and Compton leaned forward. "Feel a bit better?"

Otto didn't trust himself to speak just yet, so he nodded, sipping the tea.

"You're always wound so tight, Otto," Cassie said, her tone fondly chiding.

"I've always had a difficult time unwinding," Otto admitted, his voice low and rough. "That's why you're all so good for me. Losing you hurt so badly, but I didn't realize it until you came back."

"Well, we're here now, and we're willing to help," Compton said.

"Thank you," Otto said. He realized suddenly that his headache was much better. "Anybody who thinks psychological problems can't manifest as physical symptoms is wrong," he muttered, rubbing his forehead.

"Is it gone?" Bob asked.

"For now. But I'm sure it'll come back," Otto said. "We've barely scratched the surface." He paused then looked up at the others. "Want to come to my lab?" he asked. "I can get you those charts and we can plan our next move in finding Helmut."

"Oh, must we?" Compton asked unhappily.

"People stare when we go through the Motherlobe," Cassie complained.

"We don't have to go through the Motherlobe," Otto said, a gloating smile hovering about his lips. "I can give you my private Otto-Ban key that will get you directly into my lab. Only a handful of people have it."

The relief that spread over his friends' faces made him feel very warm and content. They all stood up, getting ready to go. Otto glanced at Helmut then gestured politely.

"It would be faster if I carried you," Otto said.

"Please do," Helmut said easily. "I want to see what you've done so we can get ready for another trip."

Otto carefully picked up Helmut's casing, cradling it firmly against his chest. "Are we ready?" he asked.

"Lead the way, Otto," Cassie said.

Otto obeyed and they headed off toward the Otto-Ban. He hadn't felt so happy in a long time, and he was looking forward to his vacation. Why, he'd already thought of a project he could work on during his off time, one that would please Bob and Helmut especially. He smiled in anticipation. It was good to have his friends back.