Chapter 31 : Confession

The boy talks about himself as a weakling.

He thinks he is the strongest when it comes to losing.

But that can't be the case.

When faced with a problem, he doesn't take the easiest, most certain, and safest route that everyone takes. He

turns a blind eye.

That's the one option he has never chosen.

So, isn't

that a strength? Unfortunately for the boy, he was much stronger than he thought he was.

Because of that, he couldn't abandon those around him.

According to his sister, the boy is a twisted person.

So, the boy himself would never admit it. But still.

At the root of his strength. It must be something

called kindness.

"...Hachiman-sama, should we run away?"

Even after hearing my words, Hikigaya Hachiman didn't move an inch.

With his whole body facing the forest, he twisted his head and gave me his usual rotten gaze over his shoulder.

This was something of a gamble.

Hikigaya Hachiman is preparing for something. I don't know what method he plans to use to buy time, but whatever the case may be, his chances of survival are unlikely to be high.

This may be our last chance to see this man's true character.

"With fewer people, it will be easier to evade pursuit. I think we can get away on our own."

This was true.

The Einzberns have considerable skill, but I'm also a Caster Servant. I can see through the traps they set when invading. It's not impossible to dodge them all.

"...Using Emiya and the others as a decoy?"

"yes"

"What will happen to the operation if you leave?"

"It'll be fine, I'm sure. Saber has returned, and it looks like Rin-sama has brought her trump card."

This trump card was quite powerful. If used well, it could really defeat a Servant.

"That wasn't enough, which is why you decided to go along with this amateur plan."

"Besides, Shirou-sama also has his own unique barrier."

"It just means that it might be of use in the future. It doesn't add anything."

"Maybe being pushed into a corner will bring out your talents? You see, you called Shirou-sama the protagonist before."

"There's no way that's the case, this isn't a light novel. In reality, if you're cornered without a plan, that's the end."

"Not necessarily, though, especially when magic is involved."

It's actually quite common that when you find yourself in a difficult situation, your concentration is heightened to the extreme, and you suddenly become able to do something that you couldn't do before.

This is especially true in magic where concentration is essential, though of course the odds of it not happening are much higher.

"But still, isn't that fine? In the end, we have to defeat each other. Let's have them crush each other here."

"...What will we do after that? You won't be able to deal with Berserker."

"The Master of Einzbern is fixated on Emiya Shirou. Once he gets his hands on him he will be satisfied. There is a chance he may even withdraw from the Holy Grail War."

The conversation stopped there. We just stared at each other for a while.

It wasn't a glare.

Sensing the subtle emotion in Hikigaya Hachiman's gaze, he nearly becomes enraged, but somehow manages to remain calm and continue.

"Hey, let's do that. With Saber defeated and Berserker gone, Lancer is the only one left. Hachiman and I can defeat him, I'm sure."

We already know Lancer's true identity. Although he is a formidable opponent, his matchup with him is not as dire as Berserker's.

If Hikigaya Hachiman and I work out a plan, there's no way we can't defeat this opponent.

"When that happens, you can wish for whatever you want, right? There's no need to spend it on anything big. If you can make small wishes come true little by little, it shouldn't be a problem if you just play around for the rest of your life."

Hikigaya Hachiman said that he didn't need the Holy Grail. That was probably what he really meant, but that doesn't mean he was completely selfless.

In fact, this man is far from being selfless: he simply does not seek more than average happiness.

"So... let's run away, okay? After all, we're just strangers. There's no need for Hachiman-sama to be sacrificed. Komachi-sama would be sad too. If you'd run away with me..."

I stop speaking here for a moment, because even for me, this is a line that requires a certain amount of resolve.

"...If you run away with me, I will swear my loyalty to Lord Hachiman this time."

I said this with a serious look on my face, dropping the somewhat light-hearted tone I had been using up until then.

I was serious when I said this. If this man was going to make me his priority in this situation, then I didn't mind spending the rest of my life as his slave, or even being used as a pawn to help Hachiman Hikigaya escape.

So, what will you do, Hikigaya Hachiman?

That's all my cards.

You don't have to fight anymore. It was a mistake to have come to a place like this in the first place. If you can return to your daily life, you should do so.

I gave you the reason. I showed you the benefits. I gave you an escape route.

All that's left is to say it. With that, you can go back to that warm place. I'll show you how to get you back.

So tell me you're going to run away. Tell me you don't want to die.

"Proceed with the preparations. Make sure nothing is overlooked."

With that said, Hikigaya Hachiman returned his gaze to the front.

"...Why?"

I realized my voice was shaking with anger.

"You think that kind of plan will work? Of course not! No, that's a problem that goes beyond that! Regardless of whether the plan succeeds or fails, you will die! You know that much, don't you?!"

Unable to contain his emotions, he raises his voice.

Berserker might notice.

Tohsaka Rin and the others could probably hear it too.

I know it's bad, but I can't stop.

"Stalling for time? What can a mere human do?! Yes, you are talented, but that's all! Up until now I've only managed to get by thanks to my magic!"

Yes. The plan is based on the premise that Hikigaya Hachiman will create time.

But it was impossible to begin with. There was no way a mere human could buy time against a Berserker.

"You know that! The only way you can survive is to run away! So why are you trying to fight!?"

Exhale in one breath, breathing heavily.

Hikigaya Hachiman answered while still facing forward.

"...We'll probably need them in the future. We can't lose them."

"I'm saying that's enough pretense!"

That's enough!

"They'll be needed in the future!? What is your purpose? To survive! What will you gain from dying to keep them alive!? You're saying all sorts of things!"

Come to think of it, it's been that way from the beginning.

What this man was saying seemed logical, but was subtly inconsistent. It was just a little bit off-topic.

"That's right. Why didn't you use the Command Spell? You would have thought of it, right? You could have achieved that goal in no time. With that last Command Spell."

"Stop it."

That's right. I thought of it. There's no way this man hadn't thought of it. With this order, we could withdraw from the Holy Grail War safely and with certainty.

It can take care of both Command Spells and Servants at the same time.

"You should have just told me to die with your last command spell!"

"Stop it!"

Their screams overlapped and silence fell.

I know. It's not that this man didn't follow those orders. He just couldn't. I know that.

And I don't like that.

"...Hey, why? Why didn't you do that? Did you feel sorry for me?"

I cast a submissive smile at the back of Hikigaya Hachiman, who stubbornly refused to turn towards me. I felt moisture on his face. Was it raining?

"Don't mess with me! You, of all people, someone like you, are going to pity me!? You... you...!"

I wanted to say it all in one breath, but the words wouldn't come out. They were blocked by the burst of emotions. But when I forced myself to say it, it came out louder than I'd intended.

"You are just like me!"

That made me feel disappointed.

Ah, yes, that's what I don't like about it.

While I was pretending to be someone else, I got a glimpse of Hikigaya Hachiman's past in the form of a dream.

It was a brutal experience. I even thought to myself, "Maybe I can understand this man."

Even if they are not as miserable as me, that doesn't help them in any way. That is not the way people should be treated.

We have the right to hate the world. We have the right to revenge.

If he wanted to obtain the Holy Grail and bring about his own destruction, then she would grant his wish, even if it meant putting her own wish aside. Or so she thought. But even so.

Why don't you hate me? Why don't you resent me?

I will never forgive them. Even though he said such foolish things, this man didn't actually hate anyone. What's more, he even extended a helping hand to those he hated.

How is that possible?

Rights and obligations are two sides of the same coin. You are a human being at the bottom of the barrel, just like me. You should take revenge on the world. So why don't you want that?

Doesn't this just make me feel so miserable...?

"What's the difference? What's the difference between you and me?! Who are you?! Answer me, Hikigaya Hachiman! What are you fighting for?!"

Hikigaya Hachiman continued to turn his back to her. He sighed deeply and muttered just one word.

"...Because I was asked to."

...A request? What are you talking about?

Perhaps sensing the question in my eye, he continued speaking.

"What? Haven't you heard from Yukinoshita? Seriously, he's a bit absent-minded sometimes."

Yukinoshita Yukino? Why is that name coming up now?

"Instead of giving fish to the hungry, we teach them how to catch fish. That's the philosophy of the Service Club. That's what I was told when I joined."

So what is this guy saying?!

"The request was something I wanted to do. As long as it didn't conflict with my principles, I couldn't just turn it down. No matter what the process was, I'll get the job done once I've accepted it."

"'Want to become'? What's that all about? Who on earth asked you to do this and what kind of request did you get?!"

"You said so."

At those words, I stiffen.

At my request? When did I ever say what I wanted to be?

Hikigaya Hachiman still had his back turned to me, and was scratching the back of his head with his left hand.

I suddenly remember.

This gesture was a habit he had noticed during his time as a student. Whenever something embarrassing happened, this is how he would try to cover it up.

"Well, I guess I'll help you out."

That seems to be the end of it.

I don't understand. What on earth was he trying to say?

But I intuitively knew that he wasn't lying.

This man hates lies more than you would think, and is surprisingly clumsy in these situations.

think.

I have no recollection of this, but it seems this man is fighting on my request. So what is that request? I have never had a conversation like that before...

"!?"

Yes, there was. Just once. Just once, in front of this man, I was forced to say "I want to be that."

But is that really the case? Can something like that be called a request?

"...When you bring up Komachi's name, it makes me miss the food at home."

Hikigaya Hachiman muttered, trying to cover up the silence, while scratching his head with his left hand.

"Well, let's just finish this quickly and go home."

I collapse to my knees and clutch my chest to try and hold back the tears, but they won't stop.

Let's go home.

Those words made me realize. Actually, maybe I had noticed it for a long time. I just hadn't admitted it. I just didn't believe it.

That day. The day I was summoned, those words I was forced to say.

"I want to be happy"

This person had been fighting all this time for just that one word.

Hikigaya Hachiman continues speaking, scratching his head with his left hand.

"...Make me some more stir-fried vegetables. Something that isn't mushy this time."

"yes…………!"

He keeps his back turned so that she won't see my tears.

His casual kindness brings tears to my eyes again.

"Komachi seemed to enjoy teaching you how to cook. Please join us again."

"yes…………!"

Thinking about it, maybe he is trying to protect Saber and the others not because of the Holy Grail War, but because he needs them for himself.

Please think about it a bit more. No matter how you look at it, aren't you more important?

Survive. Absolutely.

That's what I decide.

It was almost at the same time.

"Is the farce over?"

Hearing those sudden words, I wiped away my tears and stood up.

"The boring play made me sleepy."

Saying this, a girl in white appeared from the misty forest.

Bringing with it a tangible form of "death."

"Well then, shall we begin the hunt?"