Chapter Twenty-One: Pros and Cons

The first thing Angela heard when she woke up was snoring. She carefully slipped out of bed and into the bathroom, intent on avoiding yet another round of lovemaking. Sometimes too much of a good thing was too much. Her first task after peeing was always brushing her teeth. While she rinsed her toothbrush, she reached for a pink plastic clamshell and popped out her birth control pill. "Shit," she hissed, looking at the tablet in her hand. The color had changed, meaning she was on her last week. As a creature of habit, she took even the non-hormonal pills, always picking up a new pack from the pharmacy before the end of the week.

The only exception since shortly after Jonathan's birth was last month. Angela Bower's death had lined up with the end of her active pills, so she skipped a week and got a new pack with no name on it delivered to the motel. Now she would have to start work, send the kids to new schools, deal with her period, and get a doctor to write a prescription. Luckily, Jess had health insurance, which covered the whole family effective day one of her new job, tomorrow. She dressed quietly and went to the kids' bathroom to get a few pads from Sam's supply. Tony managed to pass her in the hallway while she was digging around under the sink. Apparently, Sam didn't want anyone to know she had them.

Jonathan's room was open and empty. Angela stashed the contraband in her bathroom drawer and went downstairs.

"How do you want your eggs, pal?" Tony asked.

Unfertilized, she thought to herself bitterly.

"Cooked through," Jonathan answered.

"Good morning, my love!" he called. "Coffee's brewing."

"Great. Thanks," she grumbled.

"Morning, Mom! Can we go to church?"

Angela fought off a full-body eye roll and tried to look at things from her son's perspective. His only friend would be in church, just back from visiting his grandparents. "Maybe."

"We should go, Jess. I'm not always going to have Sunday off," Tony pointed out.

"Ugh, do I have to go?" Sam asked. "I'd rather hang out with Natalie."

"Is her mom going to be home?" Tony asked. He didn't want his daughter to be supervised by Danny alone after the conversation they'd had. Angela had been outraged enough at the neighbor's infidelity that he felt confident she'd agree. He didn't want to tell her what disrespectful language the creep had used about his affair partner.

"Yeah, Patrick had some out-of-town basketball thing this weekend, so it's just Nat and her mom."

"Fine by me. As long as your mom doesn't have any objections."

Angela was in a daze, staring at the wall while the conversation went on around her.

"Jess? Hello?" Tony put a cup of coffee in front of her. "Is that alright with you?"

"What?" She was exhausted. Maybe her period would give her a nice break from Tony's libido.

"Is it alright if Jen goes to Natalie's while we take Chris to church?"

"Sure, honey, whatever you say," Angela agreed, sipping her coffee.

x

Propped up by caffeine and latent social anxiety, Angela managed to appear cheerful while mingling with fellow church-goers before the service. Afterwards, Jonathan left with the Woodmans. Sheila promised to drop him off around 6pm. Upon arriving home, Angela checked in with Linda, who assured her that the girls could occupy themselves with music, magazines and idle chatter for several more hours.

"I want to talk about our finances," she told Tony as they sat at the corner of the sectional facing each other. "I have some ideas about how we could organize things."

"Alright. I've been thinking about it, too," he informed her. "We need to open a joint checking account, at the minimum. I'd like to do a joint savings, too. And maybe we could each keep an individual checking account?"

"I don't know. That sounds like a lot of bank fees," she said, kicking off her shoes and pulling her feet under her.

"You're going to be eligible to join a credit union, since you're working for the school district. They'll have much lower fees."

"That's true. But how are we going to split up the money?" Angela wanted to hear Tony's ideas before she presented anything.

"One solution is to put everything into joint checking," he said. Already, she was on edge. That was what she and Michael had done, and they always fought.

"Then we would transfer a fixed amount to each individual account," he continued. "Once a month, we can move whatever's leftover in checking to savings."

"Don't you think it would be more equitable for us to put a fixed amount in the joint account? Like splitting the household expenses fifty-fifty?" she asked.

"If we were roommates, sure. But we're married. Besides, I'm going to be earning almost twice as much as you," he reminded her gently.

She saw his point. Her pay might not even cover half the household costs. "Well, what kinds of things are we going to pay out of the joint account?"

"Rent, utilities, gas, groceries, insurance, clothes and activities for the kids, allowances, basically everything except for incidentals and gifts," he suggested.

"What if we disagree on whether something is necessary?"

"We'll talk about it if it's more than a certain amount. Fifty bucks, maybe? We should probably go over our statements together every month."

Angela was impressed with Tony's willingness to share and communicate. "What are we going to do about my mother?"

"Weekly allowance? I don't know. What's your concern?"

"If we pay her regularly, she'll owe taxes on her income. Keeping a domestic on the payroll isn't simple," she said thoughtlessly. Tony winced at the cold term.

"What if the money is a gift?" he asked.

"That would work. Let's be honest, she's not going to be doing that much around here. It would be reasonable to say that she's just helping out as a grandmother."

"Where is she, anyway?" Getting her last taste of freedom, he figured.

"With Lawrence again. I guess Ricky's lost her favor."

Tony shook his head. "This is really weird, talking about how we're going to pool our money like we're equals."

Angela felt the stab of his words. They weren't equals. He was the clear head of the household and she was just the little wife. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and put her feet back on the floor. "I'm sorry. I feel like I'm letting you down."

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking at her with concern. "You're contributing every bit as much as I am to this family."

"You're the one who said it was weird to be talking like equals!" she yelled, angry tears springing to her eyes.

"Baby, calm down." Tony jumped back as Angela growled. His body erupted in fear-induced goosebumps.

"You calm down!" she shouted, running up the stairs and throwing herself on the bed. She knew she was being unreasonable, nearly as bad as Sam had been a few days earlier. When Tony didn't follow, Angela took it as a sign that he didn't want to be with her anymore. He was probably on the phone with WITSEC begging to be relocated.

A short time later, he appeared with a mug of hot cocoa, setting it down on his nightstand. She had cried herself to sleep and was drooling on the comforter. "We didn't have any chocolate, just cocoa powder," he apologized, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. "I think I misspoke earlier. It's weird because I'm used to you being in charge of all the money and decisions. I've never been your equal before. That's what I meant."

Angela sat up and pouted, pretending to reach for the mug so Tony would hand it to her. She sipped a quarter of the liquid and handed it back to him.

"Please don't growl at me again, but do you have PMS?" he asked.

She nodded. "I should get my period in a day or two."

"You've been keeping up with your pills, right? I didn't think I needed to pay attention until a few days ago. Probably should have asked before we slept together," he admitted with a shrug.

"Like clockwork. But I do need to get more. I'll call around and try to find a doctor who can take me on Friday afternoon. Hopefully I can get out of work for an hour or two." She took the mug back and finished the hot cocoa. "Thank you for putting up with me."

"Are you kidding? It's a privilege," he said, putting the empty mug aside.

"I'm not used to being taken care of like this. You're the best husband I've ever had," Angela said with a sweet smile.

"Wow, a gold medal. And now I know there's a silver and a bronze medalist on the podium," Tony teased. As inadequate a husband as Michael was, the Vegas poet drunk had to be in last place. He wiped away her tears and held her face in his hands, admiring her beauty.

"You know, we have the place to ourselves for a while longer," she said in a low, suggestive voice.

"I thought you were over it," he said. "Isn't that why you snuck out of bed this morning?"

"I need a nap. But first…." She ran her hands lightly over his arms and torso, letting them land on the tops of his thighs. "If you want to, that is," she said, giving him an out.

"Let me get the door," he said. On the way back to the bed, he took his t-shirt and sweater off together. "Ladies' choice," he said, letting her decide how she wanted to proceed.

Afterward, they took an hour-long nap, leaving Angela in a much better mood.

x

"Are you two ready for school?" Tony asked over dinner.

"Yeah!" Jonathan responded.

"I guess," Sam shrugged.

"Everyone knows their start times, right?" Angela asked, receiving nods from the kids.

"Bobby?" she confirmed, pointing at Tony.

"Nine," he responded.

"Jen?"

"Eight-thirty," Sam replied.

"Chris?"

"Eight-fifteen," Jonathan chirped.

"And I'm reporting at eight, so Grandma's going to take you in," Angela concluded.

"Linda said she could take me when she drops off Natalie," Sam interrupted. "And then Nat can show me around before homeroom."

"She did? Well, that was nice of her. I'll give her a call to confirm," Angela said. "Mom, could you walk Chris to his classroom tomorrow?"

"Why not?" Mona agreed.

"And introduce yourself to his teacher?" Angela continued. She was nervous about him starting halfway through fourth grade. Chris may have been nine years old, but Jonathan was a small eight-year-old.

"Fine. Anything else, Mommie Dearest?" Mona asked, referring to Angela's guilty pleasure of a celebrity memoir.

"Pick him up at three?" Angela pleaded. "And get Jen at three-thirty?"

"Alright, alright." Mona was annoyed that Angela was suddenly acting like mother of the year. As if Tony hadn't been the one managing the childcare almost singlehandedly during the week. Before that, Mona had pitched in plenty when it came to Jonathan. "I'm not new to parenting, you know?"

"Hey," Tony interjected. "Jess just wants to make sure nothing slips through the cracks. Like one of our kids, you know. It's not like they're replaceable."

"Right," Angela said, looking down at her plate. They couldn't replace either of their kids, but they could have more. He hadn't meant to suggest anything of the sort, but she was fixated on the concept. It was a terrible idea, something her body wanted much more than her brain did.

That night, she made a list of pros and cons.