Searching for Answers
Throughout her decades of being a dreamwalker, the appearance of atokirina were a relatively rare occurrence for Grace to encounter; most encounters being a brief glance of a single seed, often too far away from her position at the moment to get close enough to before it disappeared out of her sight. She noticed the connecting pattern to her encounters tied heavily into how close she was to human settlement. The further out she was from Hell's Gate, the more she'd see. Of course proximity to the seeds' parent tree, the Tree of Souls, had some obvious influence, however, it didn't explain the odd exclusion area surrounding Hell's Gate compared to similar distances away as Grace patrolled in concentric circles around the Tree of Souls in the Omatikaya's territory during her time before her exile. Though she could never get sufficiently close to the tree, never once seeing it with her own eyes, she was allowed to travel around it at a respectable distance. During a census she conducted, the results she received from those that participated revealed that never once had workers sighted atokirina floating near or across the base since its establishment. Grace recalled the Na'vi addressing the seeds of the sacred tree as being very pure spirits. Based on Grace's research, though she couldn't definitively prove it, to her, it seemed that these pure spirits intentionally stayed away from human development; almost as if they could sense the destruction and pollution. Grace, at the time, rightfully didn't voice this thought out loud, as she knew many in the scientific field would condemn her for thinking a free floating seed could have any sort of primitive sentience beyond just being carried by way of the wind. As an outsider, it wasn't until in the three short months before her death that her research turned to partially focus again on this concept and she started to see the actual manifestation of it among the roots of the trees - her perspective expanding from looking at the micro level to the macro level and its implications.
After dying, any uncertainty went out the window. As an insider, Grace was now privy to the heavily guarded truth. The trees were a literal memory storage databank, culminating in an overarching collective spiritual essence known to the Na'vi as Eywa; the "Great Mother" that protects the balance of life on the moon. While at the precipice of death on the hearth of the sacred tree, floating above her among the luminous tendrils were the most atokirina Grace ever saw in her entire thirty years on Pandora. It was a marvelous sight to behold. Ever since the consciousness transfer, the small atokirina seemed to be her constant companion following her around. Several times a day at random hours they'd appear, hover around her for a few moments then float away. Mo'at considered the visits as a sign of the Great Mother checking in on Grace; a visual presence to lend comfort. Grace, being of human origin still held a bit of skepticism and wasn't completely sure at how to feel at now being this apparent new 'special daughter' of Eywa or so it seemed, however she was wise to never reject it. She wanted to take a cue from Mo'at to try to see a deeper meaning to the way of the forest, shifting her mindset to see it as more than just 'nature being nature' Earth thinking. To see, feel, and understand the connections everything has beyond the known standard ecological functions and food chain.
This caused her to have to revisit and reevaluate practically all of her thirty years of botany work on the moon. For all of that culminated research, it was done through the lense of not fully believing that the Na'vi's deity was actually real; that this intertwining connection was nothing more than an unproven concept that could easily be a belief in a goddess that didn't actually exist. It made Grace reflectively mad at herself at how blind and unaware she had truly been and the cynicism she had previously held about the Na'vi's deep faith in Eywa being able to manifest prayed for outcomes; though she respected the Na'vi's spirituality, she herself didn't personally share those same convictions. It was only after-the-fact of connecting to the sacred tree that she felt Eywa's undeniable presence that she learned that the signs a tsahìk interpreted from Eywa were legitimately real and it took great observational, understanding, and empathic skills to do so; that it wasn't hokem spoken by false prophets as many Sky People immediately dismissed it as. In one of Grace's weekly sessions with Mo'at about a month after the transfer, she admitted this regret. Mo'at didn't fault Grace for having had Sky People beliefs and even commended her for trying to teach the Sky People their ways (to those who would listen, anyway).
It was Mo'at that Grace now sought out about this new personal development. As she left Hell's Gate, she 'picked up' an atokirina not too far into the forest. It was seemingly the same one that had followed her to the base from the school, having stopped short and apparently waited for her to return. As she walked by, briefly looking at it in wonder, it followed behind her by a few paces as if it were a puppy of sorts. As Grace entered the village and met with Mo'at near the open center, the atokirina bobbed around the both of them for several long seconds before Grace wordlessy held her hand out to it in-between them and it hovered over her upturned palm briefly before softly floating away up towards the forest's canopy.
"Do atokirina usually follow people?" asked Grace, her eyes following the seed as it passed through rays of beautiful sunlight piercing the treetops.
Mo'at had witnessed Grace approach her and the trailing seed of the sacred tree. At the sight of this phenomenon, she kindly dismissed the person she was talking to to have a private moment with Grace. "It is a rare occurrence. A sign from the Great Mother that her children are walking a specific path made for them. I have witnessed this honor myself only a handful of times. Many do not receive such honor, as they are destined to make their own way."
This new information was like a piece to the puzzle in Grace's mind. An impossible picture began to reveal itself. Thoughts of 'specific path' and 'protects the balance of life' swirled. Grace stepped forward to embrace Mo'at's hands with her own. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath then steadily let it out, tilting her head down slightly. Quitely, she asked her next question. "It is possible for the Great Mother to create life without taking a mate?"
Mo'at had been patiently waiting for this conversation to occur. Many of the clan including herself had picked up on Grace being with child, though it was a mystery to them as Grace never had the scent of a mate on her, nor had they seen her and a potential mate courting each other. Observationally, they knew Grace spent 75% of her time in the presence of the clan. The remaining 25% she spent at her outdoor labspace at Hell's Gate, however the covered space, though screened-in, was open air and could easily be seen into at a distance from the edge of the forest by clan members. The only dreamwalker they had seen frequently visit her was Norm, however, it was obviously purely business related conversation and Norm would leave less than five minutes later to go about his own business, never once getting too close to Grace or touching her. Mo'at also knew with how much Grace respected the clan's culture and how close they were as longtime friends that Grace wouldn't take a secret mate without telling her, knowing that Grace would want to recognize that lifelong bond in front of Eywa - something which has not been done, as none of the clan could sense such a bond when connecting to the Tree of Souls. "You ask about the child you carry," stated Mo'at, knowingly.
Grace opened her eyes and nodded, whispering, "Yes." A few seconds passed. "I became aware of it half an hour ago. I've never taken a mate with this body; on Pandora, humans are contractually forbidden from fraternizing with each other, especially dreamwalkers as these bodies are- were company property. The timing of the child's apparent conception three and a half months ago around the time I bonded with the Tree of Souls during my transfer ceremony is more than coincidental."
Mo'at hummed, considering Grace's words. She then unsheathed the large thorn from around her neck and swiftly poked Grace's shoulder deftly.
Grace could see a look of processing cross the woman's face as she tasted a drop of her blood.
"The Great Mother gives life in many ways. Though I have not heard of this happening to a Na'vi, it has been spoken about since the time of the First Songs to have been witnessed in other creatures. It is Eywa's will, yet the reasons for why that you seek have not been revealed," answered Mo'at. At seeing the sad change in Grace's expression, Mo'at reassured her, reaching forward to gently lift Grace's chin. "Do not worry, Kìreysì. Bringing forth new life is a blessing we should all be thankful for, whether or not we know why."
Tears had formed in the corner of Grace's eyes. "I see."
Mo'at placed a calming hand to Grace's shoulder. "Rest now. Return to my marui before dinner. I'll have some herbs ready for you then," she softly ordered.
This sparked a realization in Grace, causing her to lightly chuckle with a shake of her head. "You've been adding those herbs to my food, haven't you... ...I thought it tasted different lately these past few months," she smirked.
Mo'at gave a thoughtful smile. "It is tradition. Many new mothers often don't recognize the signs of pregnancy."
Grace gave Mo'at a long hug. "Thank you," she said. They shared a sincere look, then Grace bowed her exit, departing Mo'at's presence to head back to the marui she occupied neighboring Jake and Neytiri's.
The next morning, around an hour after sunrise, Grace was visited at her marui by Neytiri and Jake.
Neytiri carried with her some more packets of prenatal herbs from her mother, tasked with delivering them. Neytiri's pregnancy had already been announced a couple weeks prior, and she greeted Grace with a bright smile. "This is so exciting! Our children with be born around the same time and grow up together!" enthused Neytiri.
At the mention of 'children', Jake reacted, as if broken from an ignorant daydreaming spell and only caught half of the conversation. "Wait, children? I thought your mother said we were only having one baby?"
Neytiri's annoyance at her mate's obtuseness came through in her facial expression, rolling her eyes. "We are," lightly growed Neytiri, giving Jake a side glance, with her primary focus still on Grace.
"So who is this other child?" Jake asked.
At that, Neytiri rounded on her mate, and slapped him upside his head. "Skxawng! Did you not listen at all to the conversation my mother and I had before coming here?"
"I did... listen," replied Jake.
Neytiri didn't believe him. "Tell me why we're here," she tested him.
Jake shifted his weight. "To give Grace packets of herbs."
"Andwhyare we bringing herbs to Grace?" Neytiri smartly questioned.
Jake looked to Grace, and in response Grace lifted an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Because she needs them...?" he answered non-confidently.
Grace joined in. "And why do I need them?" she teasingly smiled, stepping forward.
Jake floundered, making a generalized motion with his hand at her. "To make... for your... Because... you... ahhh... hmm?" he embassinginly couldn't come up with an answer, resulting in him pursing his lips as he looked towards the floor of the marui while he rocked on his feet and fidgeted with his hands. He didn't hear that part of the conversation as his mind had drifted to other thoughts regarding his position as Olo'eyktan and the tasks he had set forth to do later that day.
Grace sighed and uncrossed her arms, taking pity on him. "Jake, the other child we're talking about is mine. I'm pregnant." She then lifted one of the leaf packets for emphasis. "These herbs are dietary supplements to aid maternal health and fetal development."
A look of confusion overtook his face. "You're preg... pregnant?" he stuttered. In the first three months they spent together cooped up at Site 26, they had had gotten to know each decently well and became good friends. He could easily tell she wasn't somebody who 'fooled around' with colleagues, and she admitted to having to emotionally distance herself from her life as an avatar; warning Jake of the dangers of getting too close to the People. Even if she did surprise him and hypocritically mate with someone of the clan secretly, he couldn't figure out when she did, as there wasn't time available for her to do so. She had only just been welcomed back in, was never-endingly surrounded by her students or resting inert in a hammock, then the attacks on Hometree started, where she was forcefully yanked from her link twice, got shot by Quaritch, and died. After several seconds of thinking these things, Jake untactfully blurted out the most obvious question. "Well, who'd you mate with out here in the forest?" he questioned. "It sure as heck wasn't Norm! Or any of the other avatars back at base."
Compared to humans, in Na'vi culture this topic wasn't considered 'private business' as relationship status was a public standing; everyone knew. "No one," stated Grace flatly.
Jake's eyebrows knitted together. That answer matched exactly with the story of events he witnessed, however, it conflicted with what he knew from grade school sex education classes about how (human) babies were made. From (very recent) personal experience (hence having his own baby on the way), Jake knew it was functionally overall the same biological process for the Na'vi as well, however sensually and emotionally enhanced with the bond of their queues. The bond was important to the Na'vi, as Na'vi culture of consent heavily influenced the success rate of reproduction. If either party didn't consent, any attempt at breeding would always fail. Neytiri told him a mated pair bond (such as the one they shared) couldn't be hidden, as Eywa would always know, thus the clan would know too. If one were to ever try to hide such bond for whatever reason, the very next time they connected to a sacred site, that information would be added to the collective, thus outing the couple to the clan; making the effort to remain secret pointless to begin with. "How is it possible for you to be pregnant if you don't have a bonded mate?" he wondered.
Before Jake could form another syllable, Neytiri spoke up. Though patiently and respectfully spoken, there was an underlying tone of severity lacing her words directed at Jake. "Had you listened to mother, and used your nose, you would have learned that Grace has been blessed with a child from Eywa. This is part of her life path, given to her from the Great Mother, like it is my mother's path to be tsahìk, and yours to have been the sixth Toruk Makto; leading the clans in battle against the Sky People."
Jake looked back and forth between Neytiri and Grace, ending on Grace and a smile formed on his face. At understanding his own perspective of the Great Mother inexplicably choosing him as Toruk Makto (and the surreal prophetic vision he experienced during his Dream Hunt), he accepted the explanation without reservation, focusing on the spiritual side of the course of recent events. "Wow,... It was during the transfer, wasn't it?! That's amazing!" His mind then went to memories of growing up with his twin brother Tommy and the experiences they had shared together. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun raising our kids together!" His mind then shifted to the term 'twins', and he started to make quick directional motions as if he couldn't decide on what he wanted to do next first. "We need to make two of things!" he shouted excitedly, rushing towards the edge of the marui and jumped off, disappearing from sight.
Neytiri and Grace lovingly laughed at Jake's wholehearted giddiness at the prospect of now taking care of two babies, hurrying off to prepare, leaving the two women to converse; Neytiri passing along her mother's knowledge about the amounts of these particular herbs to use, which to use when, and the preferred frequency.
After lunch, as usual, Grace visited her outdoor lab station as Hell's Gate to work on some of her new flora samples. While there, she gave a blood sample to Norm and Max to run a process called cell-free DNA screening, a type of non-invasive prenatal screening (NIPS) where free floating fetal cells in the mother's blood are tested. It was usually done to check for abnormalities caused by chromosomal defects, however Grace was hoping that the results could shed some scientific light on her child's origins.
Three weeks later, the culminated results were ready for her to view on her tablet. As she sat at her desk, she concurrently had the digital files associated with her research of the root tendrils from the Tree of Souls she collected displayed on her desktop monitor screen.
Grace had poured over all of the files for nearly three hours, and had been sitting lost in thought for the last fifteen to twenty minutes absently staring at the images of the root samples on the monitor when Trudy popped in for a visit. Grace could tell it was her without looking, as she could hear the distinctive light thuds of combat boots paced in Trudy's unique gait combined with the tell-tale swish of the fabric of a flight suit rubbing across itself. Not only that, but the lingering scent of burned aircraft fuel among other things embedded in Trudy's clothing was a dead giveaway.
"Mind if I join you?" politely asked Trudy in the doorway.
"Not at all," replied Grace, motioning for her to come over. Maybe another set of eyes, even untrained eyes, could help offer perspective.
Trudy walked over to stand next to Grace and the oversized desk, however she was surprised when Grace shifted opening her arms and patted her leg, indicating for Trudy to sit on her lap.
Grace would have offered her a chair instead, however 1), there wasn't another chair, and 2) even if there was a chair, Trudy would sit too short to properly see anything on the monitor screen.
Trudy cocked her head, contemplating for a second. "All right," she shrugged with a smile and climbed up.
Grace helped to lift her as if the adult human woman were a small child; placing an outstretched arm behind Trudy's back for support.
Trudy felt as if she were a kid again sitting on a parent's lap.
The two women shared a happy laugh as they got comfortably settled.
"So what are we looking at?" prompted Trudy.
"This is the data I've collected on the root tendrils from the Tree of Souls", said Grace indicating the monitor. "And this," said Grace picking up the tablet handing it to Trudy for her to hold, "is the summary of the genetic testing I had Max and Norm run on a sample of my blood. If you swipe through the files, you can view the separated profile comparisons for myself and the baby."
Trudy tapped the tablet's screen, switching the displayed images. Of these images included both fetal and maternal karyotypes. There was a detailed list of shared genetics explaining everything. As Trudy read down the list, she could see the fetus was listed as female, and inherited a lot Grace's human traits, including things such as for auburn hair and freckles.
"That's neat, she's got your hair color!" said Trudy, looking up at Grace.
"Isn't it?" Grace smiled. Through Grace knew that the auburn color phenotypically wouldn't manifest in the baby just like how it currently didn't in her own avatar body, knowing that her daughter genotypically carried on that small unique human part of her legacy was comforting.
Trudy was curious at why Grace was simultaneously looking at both Na'vi / Avatar hybrid genetics and root samples as they didn't seemed to be related subject matter aside from both being under the topic of science. "Is there supposed to be a connection somewhere between the two of these things?" asked Trudy, motioning between the two screens.
Grace took the tablet from Trudy to find and point out to her a specific numeral figure. "You see this number?"
Trudy nodded. "Yeah. It says that you and the baby share a 50% genetic match." Trudy didn't see anything wrong with it. "That's normal for everyone to be half their mom and half their dad."
Grace tilted her head. "It's normal for beings who reproduce via sexual reproduction. What happen to me though was abnormal in that I didn't have sex with anyone in order to reproduce." Grace sighed then explained her current 'problem'. "When I learned a few weeks ago that I was pregnant, the overall timing heavily insinuated that conception occurred during the transfer ceremony. I went to Mo'at, and she mentioned that other creatures on Pandora were known to also self-reproduce without a mate. This led me to believe that somehow maybe the bond with the sacred tree stimulated this body to undergo a form of asexual reproduction called parthenogenesis, however this number proves otherwise. Had the baby been a parthenogenetic clone, we would share 100% of our genetics."
Grace then showed Trudy another list of comparative results on the tablet for the 50% of genes the baby didn't share with its mother; it showed a zero percent match to any known Na'vi / Avatar genetics on file within the database. "I have no clue as to where or who the other half of this child comes from."
Trudy snorted. She then apologized. "I'm sorry, I just thought of something Jake told me about this."
Grace huffed unamused. "What did Jake tell you?" she drawed out.
"That you got knocked up by an ancient tree goddess," snickered Trudy. "So, you actually do know who the father of your kid is."
Grace rolled her eyes, but didn't deny it. "Yes. The signs from Eywa indicate that the baby is a blessing from the Great Mother. I know that general reason of how and why. What I don't know is the scientific process behind it to prove how and why. That other half of Na'vi genetic material had to originate from somewhere."
Grace then set the tablet back on the desk, so the two of them could focus on the monitor. Grace tapped in a few commands to bring up a slideshow of her recent experiments. "I've analyzed these samples of the root tendrils more than two dozen times, running scenarios to try to stimulate the cells to show more than just regular signal transduction. I can't seem to cause any other type of result to happen."
"No offense Doc, but I don't think any technology we have here can replicate those conditions," offered Trudy.
Grace gave her an interested look and stayed silent.
"Norm said that for your transfer ceremony, the entire clan connected their queues to the root system of the Tree of Souls to pray for you. That's a lot of lifeforce," pointed out Trudy. Trudy then had an idea come to. "What if your baby is the equivalent to rubbing a magic lamp and a genie granting their wish?"
"You're going to have to explain your thought process behind that," replied Grace, lost at that jump in logic.
Trudy held up her hands. "Hear me out," she prefaced. "I don't know much about higher level concepts of science and technology, but I do know the fundamental basics of how cells and computers are supposed to work. Simplistically, they send out and receive signals: ions, hormones, binary code of ones and zeros, and whatnot. Right?"
"That's right," Grace concurred.
Trudy then pointed to the monitor screen "And your research shows that these little root tendrils act as nerves, wires that carry signals, right?"
Grace nodded. "That's also right," she concurred again.
Trudy went all in. "Okay. Since you say Eywa is this global awareness, what if the 'wishes' the clan had to grant you life in you avatar body, the signals they sent to Eywa were interpreted a bit differently than originally intended; to also create life, not just transfer life? Think of it like nonspecifically asking a genie for a glass of water to drink. You may be given a glass full of sea water instead of fresh water. Stuff like that. You following me so far?"
"So far...," acknowledged Grace.
"Anyways, I'm thinking in order for Eywa to fulfill this wish, she sent to your avatar body instructions by way of like morse code signals on how to make changes and genetically rewrite one of your cells to convert it into possibly a type of proto-sperm to fertilize the egg you were presumably ovulating at the time," explained Trudy.
"That's... not something I considered before," answered Grace, surprised. "Cellular transmutation of one cell type morphing into a different cell type isn't far-fetched as each cell contains within it all the genes necessary to be any type of cell; cell specialization is based on epigenetics where certain genes are active while others are dormant. However, if one of my cells did transmutate, it would still contain my own genetics, not someone else's. Even if somehow my genetics in that cell were re-written into a different arrangement, where's that genetic template coming from?"
Trudy blew out a breath. "The tree...?"
"The Tree of Souls?" Grace specified. "From what we know, it just stores cognitive memories."
"But what if it can do more than that and we just simply don't know about it yet? Heck, if we're going this far, what if both the tree and the queue can share more than just synaptic memories but also genetic memories as well?" Trudy theorized. She then pulled out a pocket knife from her flight suit and popped open the blade, pressing her thumb to the shiny flat length of the metal blade. She then held the blade at an angle so the light revealed her thumbprint. "Think about. Whenever we touch something, we leave a little part of ourselves behind. For example, my thumbprint on this blade is a mixture of oils and skin cells. What if when a Na'vi's queue attaches to the tendrils, the same thing happens, and the tree absorbs and stores that genetic information as well?"
"If that were true, it would mean that the Tree of Souls would have a massive collective database spanning across several millennia of diverse biologic information it copied from when any Na'vi had visited to upload their memories," mentioned Grace.
"It can also mean that your daughter is half you and perhaps half miniscule portions of potentially many thousands of others all mixed together in its own unique blend, not just a straight copy-paste from a single other parent. That can explain why the results don't match what's in our system; not for lack of being a considered small sample population size," added Trudy.
Grace sat dumbstruck. "You know what? Out of the four people postulating ideas: myself, Norm, Max, and you, so far your hypothesis is by far the most logically sound and plausible theory. And you don't even have a P.h.D."
Trudy shrugged. "Sometimes it might just be a matter of being a little too close to something. That sometimes you have to take a step back in order to see the entire picture. There's also the principle of Occam's razor. You have all of this scientific knowledge that I don't. Maybe it all just got in the way? I'm mean, what really helped me figure out any of this was when you said that you failed at making those root samples behave differently. I thought, what if instead it was simply just the signal's encoded message being sent that caused some type of action to occur."
"Maybe," said Grace reflectively. The moment went quiet and Trudy could see a tortured expression cross Grace's features and her ears droop. After half a minute Grace finally spoke softly and dejectedly. "I'm never going to be able to test and prove any of this... especially not to her," Grace ended in a whisper, biting her lip as feelings of failure and disappointment arose within her. Her eyes started to well up and a tear slid down her face.
Trudy could see the tone of conversation had clearly shifted. She had never seen the botanist cry before, however tried her best to console her. "Hey, it's going to be all right," she stated gently. She then became more sincere. "I know that for you as a scientist not being able to solve this deeply bothers you," Trudy then picked up the tablet on the desk with the genetic reports and handed it carefully back to Grace for her to hold. "According to this, your kid is healthy. That's every parent's hope and dream for their child." She then tenderly placed her hand on Grace's upper arm. "So as a mother, does not solving this mystery truly even matter?"
After considering Trudy's words, Grace took a breath and wordlessly shook her head "No."
A few more moments of silence then passed.
At wanting to cheer up Grace, Trudy thought of an activity to hopefully take her mind off of this. "Do you have anything planned for the rest of this afternoon until dinner?" asked Trudy, trying to gently change the topic of conversation.
Grace again shook her head. "No. I had blocked out my usual daily schedule for this," her tone notably still somber.
Trudy attempted to casually make her an offer, hoping to not seem too conspicuous so as to not upset Grace further. "I routinely have to every so often perform upkeep sorties along with the other pilots on the remaining fleet of copters to make sure engine fluids and lubrication are optimal; a bird sitting around unused for a length of time isn't good. Since the war, daily use, even weekly usage has dropped significantly, and well,... you get the picture." Trudy then took Grace's large blue free hand into both her own. "How about, we pack some gear, and I take you out to where ever you want to go for as long as you want? My treat," Trudy kindly smiled.
Trudy could see a lift in Grace's demeanor, as Grace nodded with a small smile and replied, "I'd like that." Grace hadn't flown in a Samson since being shot.
This positive change in Grace made Trudy happy. "Great!" She then looked around and realized she was kind of 'stuck' atop her perch on Grace's lap. "Uhhh, at the risk of sounding like a broken record lately, can you help me down?"
Grace chuckled.