Talking took longer than running because Hisoka did not care to practice where others could see. He was shy after all so besides a few affirmative noises made at Aunty Mina he didn't speak up until he was confident he could pronounce everything correctly. ️

Technically the first people he spoke to were the children at the preschool. He had intimated and charmed the unripened masses to great effect. All the children had the potential with quirks to unlock great power, so he was finding their company more tolerable than expected. Using them to bring the adults in charge to tears was also a delight.︎

That being said he was starting to long for more stimulating games, and he had a target in mind. Mineta the short young man that Hisoka had already lightly impaled had decided to brave the apartment once more. He was here on business this time and watched him uneasily from behind the kitchen table while Kirishima went to find the papers he needed for some sort of case. The table while a suitable physical barrier would not save him from mental damage.

Hisoka calmly stacked his little clown themed blocks until he looked away. He recalled something Mina had complained about recently so decided to use it himself.

"You'd be prettier if you smiled.︎ "

"W-what?" He squeaked out his word like a mouse being stomped to death.

"I could help you with that. " He let the full force of his blood thirst show on his face in a crazed grin.

"Got a pen? ︎ "

The scream was amusing, but Kirishima's bafflement to finding Mineta on the table and talking about Hisoka being possessed was even better. ︎

"Dude he doesn't even talk yet?"

"I know what I heard! He wants to kill me! He's evil!"

"Maybe you've been on patrol too long?"

"You'll believe me when you're the one he stabs!"

"I mean he did kind of stab me with glass that one time..." Minate's complexion is a lovely milk white and he's running for the door before Kirishima even finishes his sentence.

"But that was an accident! Dude, the papers? Huh. Guess I'll fax them." He scratched his head in the honest confusion of the oblivious.

"Wonder what got into him little man?" Uncle Kiri grinned at him. Not a single suspicion behind those eyes. Hisoka decided to reward him.

"Block. ︎" He pronounced clearly while holding eye contact. Driving all thoughts of anything other than his monumentous first word out of the redhead's mind.

" Yes that is a block! You're so smart! I can't wait to tell your Daddy! Such a good little man!" His enthusiasm for the minor accomplishment carried throughout the rest of the day and was contagious to almost everyone that came in contact with Uncle Kiri. Kacchan was even bullied into making cupcakes to celebrate though he muttered under his breath that he 'Bet the damn kid has been able to talk for weeks'. ︎

Poor Kacchan. Being the only person in the house to notice Hisoka's oddities must be so hard. Luckily he didn't seem to actually care about how weird Hisoka was as long as Kirishima wasn't the one getting hurt. He had been the only one to laugh when he heard about Mineta's slight impalement, so he was possibly a kindred spirit in some respects. He also made excellence food and seemed to hold no real ill will towards Hisoka's attempts to cause him problems.︎

If anything trying and failing to catch the blond off guard seemed to be a game they both enjoyed. Kacchan's pride in outwitting a toddler was amusing and one day he would wipe that smug look of his face for good. So for now he played his games with Kacchan and the others while he left Uncle Kiri mostly alone. Although bothering Bakugou did remind him.

"Kacchan. Up. ︎" Ah that was the look he craved! The anger at yet another person calling him Kacchan. The realization that with all his friends yelling in excitement that he would in fact be forced him to actually pick him up. The knowledge that Hisoka was a little shit and yes he had planned this. Oh it was marvelous! ︎

"You're a menace." He held Hisoka by his underarms up to his face so that he could properly see his narrowed eyes and snarling face. Very considerate of him. ︎ Hisoka smiled as sweetly as he could.

"Love you Kacchan! " The cooing from the squad in the background only made Bakugou's look of disgusted horror even better. ︎

Kacchan was an excellent toy. ︎

/

Talking opened up all kinds of entertainment.︎

He could prod his father into going onto more interesting tangents now about his school life. ︎ He learned for example about that time the squad plus Koda had broken into a zoo, the time the squad plus Tsuyu had broken into the pool, that time the squad minus Bakugou had broken into Bakugou's house and been scarred for life by Bakugou's mother, that time the full squad had broken into Shinso's house only to realize that was also their sensei's house and been stuck hiding in uncomfortable places for hours so as not to be expelled. For future heroes they did a lot of breaking and entering as students.

The stories the BakuSquad could tell however were outdone pretty handily by the stories the DekuSquad told. ︎ He was unsure if these two squad were in direct competition or if it was only Bakugou who believed himself to be competing in something. Most of Midoriya's stories started with 'I was doing something very normal' which somehow lead to 'villains showed up' and usually ended with 'I broke all my bones and saved the day'. Hisoka was paraphrasing a bit all his bones weren't broken all the time...just most of them. ︎ He was assured that Midoriya did not break his bones that often 'anymore' by Midoriya who was wearing a cast at the time. He was therefore hopeful anytime Midoriya was around that he might get to see a grievous injury.

Mina would go into more details about gore than anyone else as she seemed to think he didn't understand and wouldn't remember so he got lots of very fun villain fighting stories from her. ︎ However even dear Aunty didn't hold a candle to Shouto's stories as the temperature confused young man had a hard time understanding the concepts of secrets or child-friendly topics at all. ︎︎

"That's how Izuku ate All Might's hair."

"Iida was a vigilante for all of 5 seconds."

"My mother pulled boiling water on my face because I looked like my father. Just the one side."

The Todoroki's may actually have as many family problems as the Zoldycks! Hisoka would be lying if he said the Mommy issues didn't make Shouto more attractive. ︎ Oh! He even had Daddy issues too! The disappointment of being surrounded by a full fresh garden when you yourself was too unripe to take advantage of it. ️ Ah...so unsatisfying. ️

He was also able to request things like being smothered by Dark Shadow, being floated into the air, getting a deck of cards, being taped to the ceiling, and fire.

Shouto only made him fire the once, but he was able to stick his whole leg in it so he was pretty pleased.︎ Bakugou was the only one that bothered to yell at them both, by now even his father was mostly resigned to his injuries.

Unfortunate that no one was resigned to injuring him on command, but it was undoubtedly better for his chance of survival that they were not. Hah! Being reasonable with his well-being wasn't necessarily his strong suit. ️ He really needed his Nen back. That extra durability was essential to his lifestyle. ️

If it still existed in this world than Nen could be unlocked by mediation. Hisoka hadn't forgotten his plans. Gon and Killua had been traveling the world and getting into trouble at age 12. It seemed like a fine short term goal to establish his independence by that age if not sooner.

The faster he regained his strength the quicker he could find what he had lost, so along with a few games to break the monotony of life without the threat of death Hisoka focused on both his physical prowess and his meditation.

Narrator

(So life passed for 1 year old Hisoka. With minor injuries, funny anecdotes, and a family that grew on him a surprising amount. This was the year of the calm before the storm. The year before Hisoka entered what is commonly called the terrible twos. Are you ready dear readers? Because I promise no one else is. :) )

/

Everyone was wondering what Hisoka's quirk would be. Kaminari had a really amazing kid and a lot of his friends wondered if he was going to get a mutation unrelated to his parent's quirks that would explain his unusual strength or smarts. Not every kid could reach the top of the monkey bars as a toddler after all! Bakugou also swore that he had caught Hisoka reading and that he only ever pretended to be as dumb as his father.

It might be silly, but Kaminari kind of loved that Bakugou insisted that Hisoka was already smarter than him. He hadn't really been worried about it because it wasn't something he had thought about it before, but he wanted Hisoka to be smart. He wanted him to find schoolwork effortless and easy. He wanted Hisoka to get to have extra playtime and snacks for doing so well. (To never feel stupid, to never feel lessor.)

It wasn't a big deal or anything. He just wanted the best for his kid is all.

Some kind of enhancement quirk was the favorite theory. Jiro had confidently bet money on it which meant she had gotten her information from Mido's muttered analyzing no one else could make out. A few had still bet on Hisoka having electrification, but no one had mentioned Hatsume's quirk.

He felt a little bad. He was pretty sure she hadn't been invited to any group events since, not that she often went in the first place. She wasn't a bad person he didn't think. Just not everyone was suited to be a mother...and he and Hisoka were doing great anyways! Without her Hisoka wouldn't even be here.

Maybe he could ask someone to reach out to her. He didn't want her around Hisoka if she wasn't going to be his mom, but that didn't mean she shouldn't have friends. Maybe he would bring it up to Iida? Team Idaten used to get a lot of stuff from her. Did she still work with them? Hmm.

Kaminari never thought about Hisoka's quirk all that much. He tended to get distracted with other topics and lose his train of thought. If he had thought about it though he certainly never would have guessed what it ended up being. In fact no one else guessed it either.