Dressed in White
A JAG fanfiction
MAY 2001
1630 EST
MAC'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
When Harm saw her, his first instinct was to cover his eyes. He wasn't up to date on his traditions, but he would guess he wasn't supposed to be seeing her like that. He'd come to her apartment just to drop off some files for a case they were working on together. He had no clue she would be preoccupied - he should've known better.
From the darkness of his hand covering his eyes, Harm heard Mac's laughter. "What are you doing, sailor?" she asked.
"I can't see you!"
"Obviously."
"No! I mean, I shouldn't see you."
"Why?"
"It's bad luck, Mac."
Feeling the rustle of fabric, Harm felt Mac take his hand and yank it down. "It's only bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding - you're not the groom."
Don't remind me, Harm wanted to say as he took a step back.
Mac looked beautiful. She was wearing a slim, long-sleeved gown embroidered with lace and tiny white roses. Because he wasn't a glutton for punishment, Harm had avoided trying to picture what Mac's wedding dress looked like, but now that he was seeing it, he couldn't deny that it was perfect for her. She'd mentioned offhand while Harriet was planning her own wedding that she didn't want one of those big, traditional wedding dresses that made her look more like the wedding cake than the bride. It had just the right amount of frills combined with the sleek practicality that Harm knew Mac liked when it came to clothing, because that was the kind of stuff he knew about her.
It was perfect for her. She looked perfect.
"So?" Mac asked. She spread her hands out, turning to one side and then the other. "How do I look?"
"Mac you look….you look…."
Harm was still scrambling to find the words, even as he watched Mac's bright expression falter. "Do you not like it?" she frowned, that defensive edge in her voice that Harm recognized from whenever they bickered over a case, or whenever he had something to say about Mic.
"No!" Harm replied hastily, his eyes growing wide. "It's just - I can't really….you just look perfect, Mac."
Watching her gaze soften and a small smile spread across her lips made Harm a little weak in the knees. He couldn't believe there wasn't a word in existence more perfect than "perfect," because even perfection was something that fell short when trying to describe Mac in general, but especially in that moment.
"Really? You think so?"
Harm nodded. He wasn't aware that he could suddenly feel his heartbeat in his throat. "Absolutely."
With all of the other women in his life, he'd kept his true emotions close to his chest. He was set on playing the role of the smooth and aloof Naval aviator, who worked enough charm to fly into your life only to fly out of it the minute he felt like he was settling down too much. That had been the pattern with all of his previous relationships, dating all the way back to the Academy.
The only exception had been those all-encompassing, equally devastating crushes he'd had throughout high school - there had been multiple because Harm at heart, a fact that he found himself unable to deny any longer, was a complete and utter romantic. But being seventeen with a brand new driver's license and a spot on the varsity football team was the only time he'd allowed himself to be a complete fool in love. Partly because that was what seventeen-year-olds did, partly because that was the only time in Harm's life where being a fool in love wasn't something that felt terrifying.
Until now. Looking at Mac made him feel like that dopey, lovesick seventeen-year-old again. And it was terrifying. The engagement party (Mac and Mic's engagement party) was a mere two weeks away; the rehearsal dinner was at the end of the month on the 24th and the Big Day was two days after, May 26th; a date that would no doubt haunt Harm for the rest of his life.
And just like in high school, Harm was going to have his heart completely shattered. At least this time he would see it coming - but was that really better?
"I just got the final alterations done today," Mac said, dragging Harm back into the present. "I was thinking about getting the skirt hemmed a little more because my heels are a little shorter than I originally thought - what do you think?"
"I think it already looks fine," as he spoke, Harm felt his mouth go a little dry.
"Do you think Mic will like it?"
She wasn't asking the question to rub anything in Harm's face; he'd long ago swallowed the animosity he held towards Mic (well, most of it), reasoning that if Mac was truly happy, it would be wrong for Harm to not be happy for her. She probably just wanted a man's opinion, and Harm was the closest man around who could see her without it cursing the marriage with bad luck.
"If he doesn't, he's blind. And very stupid."
Yes, he was a man, a man completely head over heels for a woman who was less than a month away from marrying another man. He wished more than anything he was the one who couldn't see Mac without it being bad luck, but that wasn't the case.
After the wedding, he could go to his grandmother's farm in Pennsylvania. Resign his commission and become a hermit. That could be a good way to cope.
In what could only be described as a karmic kick to the balls, giving his opinion on Mac's wedding dress alterations wasn't the only way Harm would be involved in the planning of Mic and Mac's wedding.
To no one's surprise, it was Mic's idea to have a lightning-quick engagement. Harm didn't know that much about weddings, but planning one in that short of time seemed like a feat nothing short of massive. Harm had overheard Mic at Bud's birthday party the month before saying that they (meaning Mic) just "couldn't wait any longer" and that if Bud and Harriet's own engagement had been half as long and their wedding went fine (odd thing for Mic to claim considering he wasn't even there), that him and Mac would also be fine.
Harriet had piped up then, saying that, while it was true her and Bud's engagement had only been three months, the planning process had been incredibly stressful and given the opportunity to do it over again, they would have a much lengthier engagement. She also cited that Bud and Harriet were fortunate to have Harriet's parents fund most of the event, a luxury Mic and Mac didn't have because both sets of their parents were either dead or estranged.
In that moment, Harriet became Harm's favorite person on the entire planet. Mic remained silent for at least an hour after, and while Mac didn't explicitly say she agreed or disagreed, Harm could tell that Mac was on her maid of honor's side.
Because Mac was a planner, one of the most meticulous ones Harm had ever met. Her marine-preparedness was something she took into every aspect of her life, and Harm could tell scrambling to get everything at the very last minute was wearing on her. He'd listened to her complain the early days of the engagement about how she felt like she didn't have time to relax and actually enjoy being engaged because they had so much to plan in so little time, about how it had been almost impossible to find a wedding planner in their budget who was willing to plan wedding in six months because who planned a wedding as extravagant as the one they (Mic) wanted in six months?
The wedding date was also the same as Mic's parents' anniversary, something that Harm found more than a little strange and something that Mac hated. But Mac didn't question it because she….loved Mic? Right? She loved him, right?
Harm wouldn't call that love, but maybe Mac had different opinions on what love was.
And in true Mic fashion, he made the executive decision and left Mac to pick up the pieces. He wanted everything planned perfectly, but often couldn't be present for the planning because he had people at the swanky civilian law firm that he cared to impress more than his fiance. Stepping up as maid of honor, Harriet had to be the one to go with Mac to tour the venue, some big cathedral in the heart of DC that looked like something out of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Harriet had also gone with Mac to the cake tastings (there had to be multiple for some reason - Harm really didn't get weddings), to look at the flower arrangements, and almost every meeting Mac had with the wedding planner.
Mac was putting on a brave front about it, but the closer the wedding date got, the more Harm could notice the facade cracking.
And then came his karmic kick to the balls, a phone call he received while he was still at the office one Tuesday night, with Mac's request for Harm's help with something Harriet couldn't really do.
"Hey, can I ask you a favor?"
Harm leaned back in his desk chair. "Yeah sure. What's up?"
"I'm really sorry. I know this is such short notice, but Mic just called me and said he can't make it and we already paid and it's nonrefundable-"
"Mac, what is it?"
She sighed. "Do you want to learn how to waltz? In thirty minutes?"
He shrugged. "Sure," he looked down at his summer whites. "Can I come in uniform?"
"Harm, you could come in a clown costume for all I care," Mac said. "It's either you or Bud.
"And you don't want bruised toes."
"Exactly."
THIRTY MINUTES LATER
They'd booked this private dance lesson months ago and she'd given him countless reminders about it. But still, what did Mic do? Call her less than an hour before their class was supposed to start, saying that he got pulled into a meeting at the last minute. He didn't even so much as apologize, making the vague attempt to reassure her that it really was no big deal; that they could reschedule.
"Mic, the wedding is in two weeks!" she hissed into her phone, standing on the sidewalk outside the dance studio. "When exactly can we reschedule? And I love that our first dance is just no big deal to you. Yeah, it totally doesn't matter actually, let's just not give a fuck about one of the most important parts of our wedding."
"I think you're being a little dramatic, love."
"Dramatic? Mic, I'm stressed out of my mind. I think I'm getting gray hair from all of this."
"We decided on the wedding date together-"
"No! No, don't even go there. You were the one who wanted our engagement to last five minutes. That was you, Mic, not us."
"Well hopefully the veil will cover up any gray hairs you get."
"Oh my god-"
The argument had lasted for about another ten minutes, leaving Mac with only a half hour to figure out who would be a good alternative to learn her wedding dance with. She knew Bud would be willing, but she wasn't sure if she was willing to put up with his two left feet. Mic wasn't the most perfect dancer (far from a perfect person, too), but he'd never stepped on Mac's toes.
Mac didn't know Mattoni well enough, and asking the Admiral would be downright awkward. That left one person, and Mac didn't care if calling this person pissed Mic off, because Mac was livid.
Harm had thirty minutes to make it to the studio, and he made it there in twenty. She was leaning against the brick wall of the studio, feeling jaded with the idea of romance, love, and marriage (especially, marriage) when she saw him round the corner and start up the sidewalk towards her.
And it was like she was seeing him for the first time. Being a marine, she had the natural inclination to roll her eyes at all of those smooth naval aviators who thought they were too cool for school, with their dress whites and gold wings they thought could get them anywhere. And for a while, Harm had been no exception. He was reckless, and arrogant, and as flighty when it came to love as he was in an F-14.
However, coming to her rescue in uniform on that sunny May evening, not even Mac could deny that Harm at least looked the part of the man of her dreams, even if he actually wasn't.
Is Mic even the man of my dreams? Mac wondered to herself.
He had to be, right? She wouldn't be getting married to him if he wasn't, right?
Right? Right.
"Evening, Colonel," Harm took off his cover, tucking it under his arm. "Ready to dance?"
Mac smiled, stepping away from the studio's brick wall. "Ready as I'll ever be, Commander."
The dance instructor was Russian, something Mac had known beforehand, so she was keen to not let the instructor know that she knew Russian, for no other reason other than the fact that Mac was nosey and wanted to know what the instructor really thought of her and Harm's dancing.
"Sarah, it's a pleasure to finally meet you," the instructor, Katerina, said as they shook hands. She turned to look at Harm. "And you must be Mic?"
Harm and Mac exchanged a look. "Uhh…yeah, sure," Harm replied with a smirk. "For tonight, I am."
Katerina's eyebrows shot up. "Oh…"
"Mic couldn't make it," Mac explained quickly. "This is Harm. He's one of my coworkers."
Looking between the two of them, Katerina eventually shrugged. "Well, as long as you're here."
As they stood alone in the middle of the studio space while Katerina cued up the music, Mac wished her and Harm were standing farther apart, because she wasn't sure how much longer she could handle being that close to him.
"What kind of dance is it?" Harm whispered.
Mac shrugged. "A waltz."
"What kind of a waltz?"
"I don't know…the standard wedding waltz."
"Okay…" Harm mulled that over for a few moments before nodding. "Alright."
"It'll be good practice for you and Rene one day," Mac said.
She caught a certain expression she couldn't place briefly across Harm's face, but she blinked and it was gone. "If you say so."
"What do you mean?"
Harm looked at Mac and gave a small smile before shaking his head. "Nothing, Mac. Let's just dance."
TWO HOURS LATER
Ever since they first started working together, a point of contention between Harm and Mac had been their eating habits - a point of silly contention, but a point of contention nonetheless. With Harm being vegetarian and Mac having a deep love for all things red meat and deep fried, they were meant to be opposed to one another.
Harm sat across from Mac in a booth at Beltway Burger, watching her tear into her cheeseburger and fries.
"Are you sure you don't want anything?" Mac asked. "They might have a salad or…something…"
Harm smiled. "I'm fine, Mac. I'm pretty sure even the lettuce here is covered in grease. Plus, it's my treat for the bride-to-be."
"Uh-uh. Absolutely not," Mac quickly shook her head. "You have to let me pay you back for this."
"I told you, it's my wedding present," he insisted. "I was too late to check out the registry; everything was taken."
"Renee got the curtains, so you got us the curtains," Mac replied. She shrugged innocently when she looked up and noticed Harm looking at her with raised eyebrows. "What?" she asked. "I snuck a peek at Harriet's notepad the other day. I was feeling nosey."
"I see."
"So, are you taking Mic out to dinner too? Or is this just a treat for the bride?"
"Mac…" Harm got that look on his face that he always got when Mic was brought up.
"It was a joke, Harm! I was just teasing," Mac gave him an exasperated look. "Can we not do this here?"
Under the neon signage and fluorescent lighting of the Falls Church Beltway Burger in a booth whose vinyl seats looked like it had seen better days, Mac really hoped they wouldn't have to do this here. Especially considering it was late and they were the only two in the place, save for the two high school workers behind the counter, who looked very disinterested in everything until they suddenly became very interested in Harm and Mac's conversation.
Mac sighed. "He's going to be my husband in two weeks, Harm. I would appreciate it if you could at least try and like him - or at the very least, try not to hate him."
"You mean your future husband who doesn't even know your first dance because…?"
"Because he's busy." Mac snapped, feeling the anger she felt towards earlier in the evening rise up in her chest. He'd known about tonight for months.
"Asking me to like him is a tall order Mac, I'm sorry."
Mac looked down at her food. Suddenly she wasn't very hungry. "How would you feel if you were marrying Renee and I was acting like you right now? You're telling me it wouldn't hurt your feelings?"
Harm was quiet for a few moments, something that only infuriated Mac further. "Could you at least say something?" she demanded, trying her best to ignore the stares from the workers.
Harm reached over to Mac's side of the booth, picking up a fry. "I don't want to marry Renee, Mac," he finally said, his voice quiet.
"Well then, if not her, who?" Mac laughed ruefully. "Not to sound like your mother, but you can't be a bachelor forever-"
"I think you know who I want to marry, Mac."
She looked around them, gesturing theatrically. "I actually have no clue, but I would love to meet her whenever you find her."
"I'm looking at her."
That comment gave Mac pause. She stared at Harm for a few moments, even looking over her shoulder to see if some supermodel had walked in and taken a seat at the booth behind them.
"You mean…"
"I mean it, Mac."
Throughout the entire dance lesson, Katerina miraculously never caught on to the fact that Mac could understand what she was saying whenever she muttered something in Russian. Most of the comments were inconsequential, most of them small critiques of something Harm or Mac did wrong. But there was one comment that caught Me off guard, causing her to stumble and accidentally step on Harm's foot.
She said they made a beautiful couple.
ONE YEAR LATER
Mac wanted their wedding to be a smaller, more intimate affair, and Harm wanted everything to be one big party, so they decided to compromise by having a private ceremony with a larger reception.
Today was the big day, and Harm walked down the hall at the back of the chapel, dressed in his best pair of dress whites. Arriving at the door to the room where his bride-to-be (not just any bride to be, his bride to be) was getting ready, he knocked gently.
What followed his knock was a cacophony of yelling and shuffling around until the door was eventually cracked open by Chloe.
"You can't see her right now," she said. "She's busy."
"It's bad luck!" Harriet called from farther inside the room.
Harm put his hands up in surrender. "I know, I know," he said hastily. "I just wanted to talk to her."
Chloe looked up at him, still uncertain.
"I can talk to her without seeing her, can't I?" he asked.
Keeping one hand firmly planted over his eyes, Harm was guided into the room by Chloe. He heard a couple of whispers, before Mac's voice came through to him like a beacon.
"Could you guys leave for a few minutes?" she asked. "I promise I'll make sure he won't look."
Harm waited for a few moments until the door shut and the room was quiet.
"Are we alone now?" he asked.
Mac laughed. "Yes, sailor. We're alone."
He promptly turned around to face what he assumed was the wall, using the sound of Mac's voice as a point of reference.
"What on earth are you doing?"
"I don't want to accidentally peek."
Harm felt Mac's hands on the front of his uniform as she wrapped her arms around his middle. He also felt her cheek rest against his shoulder blade.
"You're being a little ridiculous," she said. "Cute, but ridiculous."
"Wait, you didn't see me, right?"
He could practically feel Mac roll her eyes affectionately. "I think I caught a glimpse of you before you hid in the corner."
"I don't want to give us any bad luck, can you blame me?"
She hugged him closer to her front. "I think we're already pretty lucky."
"I do too, I just figured it couldn't hurt to have a little extra luck."
"Right."
Harm reached up, finding one of Mac's hands and wrapping his own around it. "I just wanted to say…you know, before all of this started, that I love you."
He could hear the warm smile in Mac's voice when she spoke. "I love you too, is that all you wanted to say?"
"No, actually. I also just wanted to say that I feel like the luckiest man alive getting to marry you, and I can't see you right now but I'm sure you look beautiful. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with the most amazing, stunning, incredible woman alive."
"You're not too bad yourself, you know," Mac replied, sniffling quietly.
"Did I make you cry?"
"Maybe…" Mac sniffled again. "It's my wedding day, I'm allowed. If you don't tear up when you see me coming down the aisle, I'm going to be a runaway bride."
Harm chuckled. "Oh really?"
"Uh-huh. I already discussed it with Harriet."
"I'm sure that won't be an issue."
And it wasn't. Sure enough, the sight of Mac heading down the aisle towards him made him a little misty eyed. She looked the most beautiful he had ever seen her, which was quite a feat considering she always looked beautiful to him. Dressed in a beautiful A-line gown with a fitted bodice and halter neckline, she looked heavenly. She'd opted against a veil, the top layer of her hair pinned tastefully up and away from her face. The hairstyle showed off the pair of diamond teardrop earrings dangling from each of her ears, a gift from Trish for the big day.
There was just one thing though, which wasn't necessarily a problem but rather just a notable detail; Mac wasn't wearing white. The dress she'd fallen in love with had only been made in champagne rather than pure white, so she'd decided to forgo tradition on that front. Luckily, Harm made up for the lack of white with his uniform.
But in all honesty, Harm couldn't care how either of them were dressed. He just couldn't wait to call Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie his wife.
I've had this story written for awhile, and decided to finally upload it. Hope you all enjoy - it was very fun to write :)
-Harper