Buck´s POV.
Buck had spent so much time inside the hospital lately that he had walked straight to his wife´s room on auto pilot and hadn´t even noticed when they had reached the door that Maddie had been talking the entire walk from the car to the room.
He took a deep breath and opened the door, only to walk straight into a massive wall of balloons "What the hell!?" he bellowed dumbfounded. He pushed the balloons aside as he heard laughing from within the room.
When he got further into the room and had successfully pushed the balloons to the side so no one would walk into them the same way he had, he finally got a view of his wife. She was sitting up in the bed, which was new, her hair was in a side braid, which was also new as she hadn´t had the energy to do anything to her hair in at least two months and her cheeks had more color in them then they´d had earlier in the morning when he had last seen her. She was gazing at him with a massive smile on her face.
That little ember of hope he was constantly fighting against, flared to life in his chest. He cursed a little at himself over it, he had to remind himself of what all of the doctors had said, that the transfer from San Diego to Cedar Sinai in LA had been for three reasons.
The first reason was that Cedar Sinai had one of the best specialists on the new treatment plan.
The second reason was because they also had specialist for end of life care.
And the third and most important one, even though his wife didn't know that he knew about it, was that she had made the request for the transfer, before the doctors had even told them about the new idea of a treatment plan.
When the doctors had told him about the transfer, they had all told him to not get his hopes up too high for the treatment to actually work, they had even made a point by saying that the treatment could be the cure they were all hoping for, but in all likelihood, it would only prolong her life, long enough for her to get her affairs in order.
They ended every one of the talks with the same thing, that he should start preparing himself and their family for what was to come. He shook his head and pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, and instead focused on his smiling wife.
"They started arriving about half an hour ago." She said shakily and gestured for him to come over to her. Which he did happily, he bend down over her in the bed and kissed her forehead, she wrinkled her nose in respond and pouted her lips, he chuckled at her before he put his lips on hers.
When he pulled back from her, he looked over at Maddie, who was smiling at them, "Hey beautiful lady" Lizzie said with a small wave to his sister.
"Hi Lizzie, how are you doing?" Maddie asked as she maneuvered round all the flowers, balloons, and a handful of baskets of food and treats that kept up most of the room, and went over to the bed, she leaned down and hugged Lizzie, before taking a seat in the chair by the side of the bed.
"I'm doing..." she took a deep breath and adjusted the nasal cannula, so it was placed more comfortably "good" she finished with a smile, Buck grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"So, where did all of this come from?" Maddie asked, while pointing at all the gift baskets, flowers and balloons and changed the subject.
"Stations all over the city mostly." Lizzie answered and pointed at the side table where there was a pile of cards.
She took another deep breath before she was able to continue "The first one to show up was from the dispatch center. It arrived a couple of hours ago" She paused and smiled while taking a deep breath "about an hour ago the one from the 118 arrived." She pointed at a huge basket, filled with snacks, and what looked like a few books, a small teddy bear and a lot of candy, that was placed near the window behind Maddie.
"And they keep on coming." Their regular nurse, Claire said as she walked in with, yet another basket filled with chocolates and other snacks. "This one seems to be from the police department." Claire said as she placed the basket on the table that held most of the flowers.
Buck blinked several times to get the tears out of his eyes, Lizzie squeezed his hand to get his attention and he smiled sadly down at her "Athena." He stated in a stunned haze.
It had taken about forty minutes to drive from the firehouse to the hospital due to traffic, but his wife had said they had started coming before then, which meant that Athena must have organized it shortly after they had left the station.
"I saw her today." He said.
"She was at the station?" Lizzie asked.
He nodded as a response and started playing with her wedding band, and slowly without him even realizing what he was doing, started fiddling with the hospital bracelet she was wearing. She gently grabbed his fingers in hers and intertwined their fingers, he looked down at her to find her wearing a proud smile.
"I am so proud of you, my love." She said, "I can´t wait to meet them all."
"Maybe we could arrange for her, Athena I mean, to come by tomorrow with May?" He suggested with a small smile, he couldn't take his eyes off Lizzie, seeing her looking so much like the version of her from before she had gotten sick was the best gift he could ever ask for.
Even if he was afraid that it wouldn't last.
She smiled at him "I would like that very much." She took a deep breath and turned her head to smile at Maddie "Maybe you can…. Bring Chimney?" she asked.
Maddie nodded her agreement "of course Lizzie. then you can finally meet him." she paused and suddenly looked unsure of herself, before she shook herself out of it. "What about Bobby?" she asked.
Buck looked down at his wife, and let her make the decision, she tilted her head at Maddie "he should come too" she said.
Maddie smiled "Okay. So, have you talked with the kids yet?" she asked.
"Not yet." Lizzie said, "Matt said he would facetime after dinner." She paused to take a breath "so the kids can see the both of us."
She squeezed his hand "I miss them." She said.
He nodded in agreement, he missed them too. even if it hadn't even been more then four days since they had last seen them face to face, but he felt like a piece of him was missing. He brought up their intertwined hands and kissed hers.
"just one more day. Then they´ll be here and you will wish they were back with your brother." He assured her.
"That will never happen." She promised with a grin.
"I know it won't." He said and returned her grin "I miss them too." he added.
Both Maddie and Lizzie snorted "We know." They said at the same time.
"Hey! I am not that bad?" he protested while trying to stop grinning.
"Whatever you say…. Papa bear." Lizzie said and patted his arm in mock reassurance.
"How did the kids take all of this?" Maddie then asked and broke the fun and carefree mod they had, "Do they even know what´s happening?"
Buck moved his head to look at her so fast that he felt his neck crack, when Maddie noticed the look in his eyes at her question she winced "Sorry, I…"
He held up his hand "It´s fine, it just caught me by surprise." He breathed out.
"Killian and Jamie knows and understands to an extent. Killian more then Jamie." He paused and shared a look with his wife. "Killian has been quiet ever since we told him though, so we probably only know half of what he is feeling right now, Jamie is mostly sad and scared but I don't think he really understands how serious it is. Lydia, River, and Hannah are all too young to really understand any of this." He said with a small smile.
Lizzie nodded in agreement "Lydia and River knows that I'm really sick..." she paused and took several deep breaths. "but they don't really understand why their mama isn't at home with them, and Hannah, she is just a toddler, she doesn't understand any of it yet." She said, her voice cracking at the end.
Maddie nodded in understanding and reached over to take Lizzie´s other hand, as a mother herself, Buck imagined that she could relate to what Lizzie was thinking and feeling, the only reason he knew was because Lizzie had told him during the many conversations, they´d had about Hannah and her age.
She was just two years old, and the chances of not having time for her to even be able remember her own mother wasn't great, and Lizzie had broken down over it multiple times since she had been told of her chances. The last time they had talked about it, she had mentioned she wanted to make some videos and write some letters for all the kids, especially Hannah. But they hadn't talked about it since, and since she hadn´t brought it up, he wouldn't either.
It broke his heart too much for him to be able to bring it up with her, of course he wanted to help her do it, just in case the worst should happen, if not for the kids, then for her, to give her some peace of mind. but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. it would just be another reminder how bad her chances were.
"Changing the subject…" Lizzie breathed with a smile "what did the team say about everything?" Lizzie asked, he looked down at her with a frown.
"uh, what?" he asked.
She smiled softly at him "What did the 118 and Athena say to everything? Did you remember to show them the pictures and drawings the kids made Bobby and Athena?" she asked.
Buck blinked a few times and then realized, after he had broken down in Athena´s arms he had placed the bag with the photos and drawings from the kids somewhere and had forgotten all about them, he had even forgotten where he had placed the bag.
"They uh, they asked what they could do, and asked what we needed, but other than that, they didn't say much. Uh, I didn't stay long." He said and scratched at his beard with his free hand "and uh, I kind of forgot about the pictures and drawings." He finished sheepishly. Lizzie giggled and Maddie had an amused smile on her lips.
"So, let me get this straight. You left a bag filled with drawings from your kids and pictures of them and your life, in the firehouse where anyone could find them?" Maddie asked, and when he nodded his head, both she and Lizzie burst into laughter, it took him a few seconds before he joined them.
When they had all calmed down, Maddie pulled out her phone and started typing something "I´m texting Chim to make sure he gets the bag to Athena and Bobby." She said, just as a knock sounded from the door.
He turned around just in time to see two very familiar faces standing in the doorway to the room.
"Are we interrupting anything?" Carla asked, smiling widely at them.
"Now Buckaroo, what are you doing still standing over there? Come over here and hug me." Carla said and raised her arms while taking a few steps forward, Buck shook his head and chuckled, but let go of Lizzie´s hand and practically fell into Carla´s waiting arms.
Right behind her, was May who was grinning at him, holding up two bags, and from the looks of them, it was food from one of his favorite take out places in LA. "I come baring gifts, or well. Food." May said.
"Actually, I'm just the delivery service tonight. Bobby, David, mom, and dad paid." She explained and moved over to hug him just as Carla let him go to hug his wife.
"That was sweet of them." Lizzie commented.
Buck swallowed heavily around the lump forming in his throat and nodded his head before stepping back from May and taking the food from her, he brought it over to the small table next to the bed.
He smiled, when he was elbowed in the side by Maddie who gestured for her to take over with preparing their dinner, luckily for Maddie, there were more then enough food for all three of them. He turned around and went back to his wife´s side and took a seat in the chair next to her bed. It didn't take more than a few seconds for Lizzie to intertwine their fingers again.
It wasn't long after that, when him, Maddie and Lizzie all sat and ate their food while May was telling them about her last shift at dispatch where a guy had apparently called 911 just to get advise on how to propose to his girlfriend.
Considering the day, he´d had, he should have seen it coming when the happy moment they´d had while they were eating their dinner would be broken as soon as they were done eating.
"Buck." Carla said and smiled at him when he looked over at her.
"I think you should know what happened tonight at Chris and Eddie´s" Carla said.
Buck´s stomach dropped, suddenly the appetite he´d had was gone.
"What happened?" Lizzie asked after a minute of complete silence.
Carla sighed "Eddie has known for the last nine years, just how much he screwed up on the part he played in everything. But I think, seeing you today brought up a lot for him, and then top that with finding out you were married and have kids. Well, I think it finally sunk in just what he has missed out on." She paused with a loud breath.
"He asked if I knew, and I told him the truth. He then went and asked if I knew that you were coming back, for which I also told him the truth, that yes, I knew everything and I knew you were coming back. And let me just put it like this. If his grandmother hadn´t been there, I would be worried."
"What about Christopher?" Lizzie asked, and tightened her hold on his hand, he was insanely grateful for her at that exact moment, he hadn´t seen or talked to Christopher since he left LA, only through letters he had given Carla to give to him, but even then, only half of the letters he had written had made it to Chris, the other half was still in a shoebox somewhere in San Diego.
He had promised Chris that he would be there if he ever needed it. He had tried to honor his promise, while staying respectful of Eddie, which was the reason for the letters, He had told Carla that he didn't want to overstep. Carla had understood and supported his decision , giving Chris the letters.
He let out a breath, thankful for his wife´s silent support.
Out of everyone he had left when he moved to San Diego, it had been Christopher who had been the hardest to leave behind. He had broken down about it several times, the worst breakdown he´d had was when they had found out Killian would be a boy, that was also when Lizzie had truly understood just how much he had regretted leaving Chris the way he´d had.
"I wasn't planning on telling him that you were back yet, I wanted to talk to you about it first. But he overheard Eddie and I talking. Now, he didn't react much to it, he asked which hospital Lizzie was at and that was it, he then completely ignored Eddie and left the house to go out with Harry and Denny. He didn´t seem angry, but Buck, he didn't seem happy either. I don't know if it's about you being back or if its about Eddie or something else entirely."
Buck frowned and the woman must have seen it, as she sighed.
"As you already know, Christopher didn't take you leaving very well. Here is something you didn't know, It only got worse when he found out what had happened to make you leave. And for a very long time, he blamed Eddie for it, he was angry, hurt and confused. Angry about Eddie´s role in everything, hurt that you hadn´t stayed and confused over why his father would do what he did." She took a breath and continued "He didn't speak to Eddie for over a month after he found out, and even when he had begun to talk to him, it was only small sentences. It took almost a year before he started to slowly rebuild his relationship with his father."
Carla smiled at Buck "It took Eddie getting hurt and almost killed for Christopher and him to actually talk everything through," she finished.
Buck felt the familiar stab of guilt piercing through his heart, he knew that there were a lot more then Carla was saying to protect him, just as he knew that if he pressed her enough about it, she would cave and tell him.
But honestly, he was at the end of what he could handle for one day. Between having a difficult conversation with the doctors, then watching as his wife had gotten another round of treatment and chemo, then to what had happened at the firehouse, to coming back to the hospital and finding all the gifts from so many people and now hearing this about Eddie and Christopher. It was just getting to be too much, even for him.
And he couldn't deal with anything else today.
He had to keep it together, at least for a little while longer.
"Excuse me. I hate to break all of this up. But visiting hours are almost about to end." Nurse Claire said as she poked her head in through the doorway, which effectively saved Buck from having to say or do anything about Carla´s revelation.
Maddie wasn't thrilled about leaving the hospital, not after it had been so long since the last time, she had seen them, Carla and May wasn't thrilled either, but they all knew they had no choice but to do as they had been told. They all worked together to clean up and organize the room a little better, so Buck had one less thing to worry about.
"Before we go, mom wanted me to organize when they could visit?" May asked as she was moving a bouquet of lilies from the window to the table in the back.
Buck smiled at his wife, leaving her to make the decision. She winked at him before turning her attention to May. "Tell her and Bobby that they can come tomorrow whenever they have time. I want to talk with them sooner rather than later."
May smiled and looked at Buck with concern written all over her face "You sure Buck?" she asked.
Buck glanced at his wife, she nodded at him with an encouraging smile, he then turned back to May and nodded slowly, "Yeah May. I´m sure."
Which honestly wasn't a lie. He was nervous, yes, bordering on terrified. But he knew that if he didn't do it now, with the help and encouragement from his wife, he probably never would. And if he was being truly honest with himself, he did miss his family, and he did agree with Maddie and Lizzie, it was long overdue to put everything behind them and be a family again. Besides, he had made his wife a promise, one he intended to keep. May nodded as an answer. And they all returned to what they were doing.
When they were done cleaning up, Carla and May both promised to stop by the next day before they had to go to work. Maddie promised to come first thing in the morning with Chim.
As soon as the door closed behind the three women, Buck hurried into the bathroom and got changed into sweats and a t-shirt, so he was ready for bed when the time came. He kept the door open as he brushed his teeth and got changed.
"So, how did it really go at the station today?" Lizzie asked.
"Honestly?" he asked.
"No, I want you to lie me." She deadpanned.
He chuckled "It went better then I expected it to. Don't get me wrong, it was hard as hell to face them all again. But, and you are so going to say I told you so, but it also felt weirdly cathartic." He admitted and then went on to explain everything that happened when he went to the station, from the moment he walked out of his car, to his breakdown in Athena´s arms and even what he and Maddie had talked about in the car.
"I am so proud of you, my love." Was all she said after he finished talking.
He suspected that she had a lot more to say but was waiting for him to be done in the bathroom. He took a deep breath and grabbed his dirty clothes, he walked back into the room and threw the dirty clothes in a duffel bag he had for their laundry, by the small dresser in the room.
"say it." he said and smiled at her with the duffel bag still in his hand.
She sighed "I promise you, I am not going down without a fight." Was all she said.
He smiled sadly at her "You better. I love you." he said.
"Love you too, my love, forever and ever." She said with the same sad smile.
He put the duffel bag down and came over to the bed, and they did their little dance they had long since perfected until he was on one side of the bed, with her practically sprawled on top of him. His arm around her waist and her head tucked into the crook of his neck, his other hand entangled with hers on top of his chest.
"Now when we are alone. How do you really feel?" he asked and kissed the top of her head.
"I feel happy..." she said and turned her head so she could look up at him "I had much more energy today..." she paused to take a breath "the new treatment… must be working." She finished.
"I could tell." He said smiling "When I came into the room with Maddie, I had to double check that I had the right room. You looked so good, so…" he trailed off, the attempted joke fell flat, but luckily for him, she laughed anyway.
"Do you need to call dr. Copeland?" she asked after a few minutes.
"No, but if I need to call her, I will. I promise." He said.
Dr. Copeland had been his online therapist for a few years, and he couldn't count on one hand how many times they had gone over everything that had happened. Copeland had warned him that coming face to face with the 118 and his family, would be difficult, and probably triggering for him. But the doctor had agreed with Lizzie and Maddie, that it was long overdue, and that it would be good for him and his mental health.
And as she had put it, even if it didn't work out and nothing good came out of it, at least he would have a chance to get closure.
"Good. Thank you" Lizzie said.
"I love seeing you so happy." He said without even thinking about it.
"It´s hard not to be happy…. When I am around you and…. Your family." She murmured "I can't wait for the family to…... be reunited."
Buck´s mind flashed back to Bobby and Eddie´s expressions as he had told them about Lizzie and everything that was happening with her. Was love still there? Were they still a family? Even after so much time? It felt like there were, but he couldn't tell just from the short interaction they´d had at the station.
Either way, he had to remind himself to be careful, as he had to be sure if was just something he imagined because he wanted it so much or not before he got his hopes up too soon.
Because boy did, he want it. After all, there were a reason he had told his kids all about them. Every time he had shown pictures to the kids, they had asked who each person was, both he and Lizzie had used honorific titles for each person, for example, Hen and Karen were aunt Hen and aunt Karen, and Charlotte was Aunt Charlotte. And with Bobby and Athena, it hadn't even been a question, they had been grandma and grandpa from the moment each of the kids had been born. Much to the displeasure of Margaret and Phillip.
Come to think of it, the only people he, personally hadn´t given an honorific title had been Eddie and Christopher, which hadn't been intentional, he just didn't know what the hell he should call them? Seriously, what do you call the man who was your best friend, and the man you were still in love with, despite being married to the second love of his life? And what about the man´s son, the kid he saw as his own?
Luckily, he had an amazing wife, who had surprised the hell out of him the first time Killian had asked who Eddie and Christopher were, Lizzie had smiled and pointed at each of their faces on the photo, Eddie was papa and Chris were Killian´s big brother.
"I can´t wait for you to meet them either." He settled on "Especially Athena, she´s the best."
"It will be nice to…" she took a deep breath "… finally meet my mother in law." She agreed.
He was about to tease her and tell her that Athena wasn't really her mom, but then he noticed her smile and squeezed her hand "What?" he asked, smiling back at her.
"Athena and Bobby may not…. Be biological or even legally…. Your parents, but they are you mom and dad Evan." She said.
He took a deep breath and chuckled, of course his wife would see right through him, which he was about to tell her, when he was distracted by his phone ringing, he grabbed it on the bedside table where he had put it and saw an incoming face time call from his brother in law.
He grinned and pressed answer.
"Well, hello there" Matt said grinning "How is my baby sister and brother in law?"
Lizzie smiled "We are doing good Matty." She said, "How are you and Gabi?"
"Uhm I'm doing okay, more then okay actually. I asked again and Gabi has decided to move in with me, so there´s that." he said sheepishly, as Buck and Lizzie laughed.
Matt and Gabi had been together for close to four years, so it didn't come as a surprise that this was the next step in their relationship. Though, this hadn't been the first time Matt had asked Gabi to move in with him. he had asked two years prior, she had said no due to him living with his and Lizzie´s older brother Joseph and his wife and kids, and she had been living with a roommate. Everyone understood her decision to wait for them to get something of their own before they moved in with each other and most of the family had even helped them in their search for a place.
Mike and Gabi had found a small apartment together last year, around the time of Hannah´s first birthday, but then Gabi´s roommate had gotten into a car accident, and she had decided to postpone the move to stay and help her friend get back on her feet, and then Lizzie got sick and all of Matt´s attention had been on her and Buck and their kids, helping out as much as he could. So, hearing that he and Gabi had finally decided that it was time, was great news.
"That´s great man! And about time dude." He said grinning.
"Hey! Not cool, not cool man. Not all of us wants to move in with each other, get married and have kids within a year and a half of knowing each other." Matt joked.
"Yeah, well when you know…" Lizzie said and smiled lovingly up at Buck "you know." He finished for her and smiled back.
"How is the kids Matty?" Lizzie then asked.
"The kids are all fine. Gabi just put Hannah down, and the twins are both fast asleep as well, they both passed out about twenty minutes ago." Matt said apologetically "but uh, I have two little people here who really wants to talk to their mama and daddy."
There was a bit of shuffling around before Jamie was in the frame, from the angle they could see, it appeared that he was sitting on his uncle´s lap, the boy was grinning from ear to ear.
"MAMA! DADDY!" Jamie practically screamed excitedly.
Before anyone had a chance to say anything Matt groaned, a second later he started to curse up a storm as Jame had stood up in his excitement and was probably stepping on some important body parts of Matt´s, the man didn't seem to mind though, as he didn't comment on it, and he only adjusted Jamie by putting his arm around him to keep him from falling down.
"Inside voices please" Matt begged in a frustrated but light tone.
A few seconds later, Killian sat on his uncle´s other lap smiling at them, though the smile didn't really reach his eyes. Jamie was about to say something as he looked at his uncle with a mischievous glint in his eyes, but Lizzie cut in before he could.
"How are my babies?" Lizzie cooed over the phone, knowing Jamie, he would soon start a long debate on what was allowed when you were excited about something, in that aspect, he looked a lot like Buck.
Though both kids looked excited to talk to them, the happiness over it slowly dimmed, which was beyond heartbreaking for Buck that he had to take a deep breath to keep himself calm and collected. Lizzie tightened her hold on Buck´s hand, she was smiling brightly at their two eldest kids, trying the best she could not to worry them too much.
Buck angled the phone a little differently so the kids wouldn't be able to see all the wires, monitors and IV´s she was hooked up to, the only thing he couldn't do anything about was the nasal cannula, and they had already seen that a dozen times from before she had been transferred to Los Angeles.
"We made cookies for you mama." Killian said quietly.
"Yeah Mama! Aunt Gabi said they were the bestest cookies ever!" Jamie exclaimed and then went on to tell them all about how they´d had a small flour fight, which had ended with Matt being covered from head to toe.
Matt then proceeded to tell them how after they had all cleaned up from the flour fight and the making of the cookies, River and Lydia had somehow gotten into their pantry and had grabbed the green food dye and smudged it all over themselves and the entire kitchen.
"I just want to jump in and finish the story, with reassuring you both that we got it all off, and both girls are clean. Though to be honest, I think Gabi was ready to just bulldoze the entire kitchen. And I also think she has made the decision to not have more than two kids with at least three years apart." Matt said with a small laugh.
Buck and Lizzie both chuckled "trust us, we have all been there. At least this time, River didn't get peanut butter stuck up her nose." Buck said.
"Or that time where she got dough in her hair… and we couldn't get it out, so we had to cut it." Lizzie added.
Matt made a face as Lizzie giggled. Killian took the phone out of his uncle´s hand, so they were staring into his blue eyes.
"When are you coming home?" he asked in the smallest voice, that absolutely broke Buck´s heart, he held his breath and counted to ten to keep himself from bursting into tears.
"we miss you Mama and Daddy!" Jamie added and tried to take the phone, but Killian apparently had a tight grip on it, and he remained to be the only one fully visible on the screen.
If Buck was honest, he was worried about him, more so then he was for the rest of his kids.
Ever since Lizzie had been admitted to the hospital, Killian had been quiet and keeping to himself. The first month, he refused to speak a word to anyone, not even them. It had reached the point where the teachers from his school had called them and expressed their concern about it.
Buck and Lizzie had eventually agreed to take him to therapy. The therapist had been very understanding of the situation and had assured them that Killian would talk eventually, in his own time, that he was just processing everything differently then the rest of them. They were told to give it time and be patient with him, but it was hard to see their usually happy and active son, be so sad and detached from everyone around him. When Buck had brought it up with the therapist, he had just told him not to worry.
But all Buck was doing lately, was worrying.
"Not for a while yet Killi" Lizzie said with a sad voice.
"But guess what guys." Buck cut in.
"What daddy?" Jamie asked, the excitement returning to his voice at the possibility of something good.
"Uncle Matty and aunt Gabi are bringing all you kids here this weekend, and then you will see your aunt Maddie and aunt May." He told them, while smiling brightly.
"And you´ll see grandma and grandpa too, and even some other family you haven't met yet." Lizzie added, smiling just as bright as Buck was.
It still took his breath away at just how easy it was to say that Bobby and Athena were his parents, and their grandparents. The kids had of course met Margaret and Phillip, they came and visited at least once a year, but the relationship between the Buckleys and the kids were strained to say the least. Buck´s relationship with them weren't going much better, which in hindsight probably didn't help with their relationship to the kids.
His relationship with the Buckley´s had gotten better after he had moved to San Diego, but then something had changed when the twins had been born, they had told Buck and Lizzie that they were terrible parents and horrible human beings for having so many kids so soon after each other.
When Buck had tried to explain to them that it wasn't like they had planned for it to be twins, Phillip had looked him straight in the eyes and told him how selfish he was and had told Buck to control his sexual urges and to keep it in his pants.
And of course, when Hannah had been born, all hell broke loose. The Buckley´s had even gone so far as to try and get Lizzie´s family involved with removing their kids, so they wouldn't be in a so called dangerous environment. Much to Buck´s pleasure, lizzies dad had laughed in their faces and told them to go to hell. Even if he had agreed with the Buckley´s, he knew he couldn't say much about it, with him having six kids himself.
Luckily for everyone and especially him, he had only seen the Buckley´s twice since Hannah had been born, once for Christmas the year before, and then right before Lizzie had gotten the diagnosis.
Which was why Buck had been so determined to make sure that his kids knew Bobby and Athena as their grandparents, even if they hadn´t met them yet.
"Like who mama?" Jamie asked.
"Well, there is your aunt Hen and aunt Karen" Lizzie answered.
"And your uncle Chimney too." Buck added, Jamie giggled at the name like he always did whenever Chim´s name would come up.
"you´ll also get to see your cousin again" Lizzie added.
Maddie had brought Jee with her the last couple of times she had visited them in San Diego. Both Jamie and Killian had gotten along amazingly with her, though the twins hadn´t been impressed with her and had preferred to stay in their little bubble, but it was understandable with the age difference, as the twins were only four and Jee was seven.
"Will we meet Christopher?" Killian asked.
Buck thought he saw a glimpse of his son from before Lizzie had gotten sick, he squeezed Lizzie´s hand and glanced down at her to see if she had noticed it, she squeezed back in answer to his silent question, that yes, she had noticed it.
"What about papa Eddie?" Jamie asked before they´d had a chance to respond to Killian´s question.
It felt like the air had been ripped from his lungs, luckily though his wife didn't miss a beat. He should have seen it coming though, especially since he had never hesitated to answer any of his children's questions about his side of the family.
He had never initiated a conversation with Lizzie about his family other than once, because in the beginning it had been too painful for him, but she had brought them up on multiple occasions. They had fought over it the first time Killian had asked about his grandpa Bobby and grandma ´Thena, Buck had been in their kitchen cooking them dinner with Lizzie sitting at the breakfast nook, trying to get Killian to eat something, when he had asked why they never came to visit them.
Buck had completely lost it and had yelled at Lizzie over it, saying that it was for that reason why he didn't want their children to know about them, that he didn't want his son to feel rejected by them. Lizzie had calmly sat and listened to Buck´s one way street screaming match, when he was done, she had kissed his cheek and had simply stated that their kids deserved to know their family, and that included their grandparents.
It hadn´t been until the secret of Daniel, and Buck´s conception had come out, when he had been grateful that she had pushed him on it, and he had started to actually agree with her about telling their kids of his side of the family.
"yeah, you will baby, you´ll get to meet them both." Lizzie said with a smile.
"Will they like us?" Killian asked in a small voice.
"Oh Killi, they are going to love you so much. They are going to love all of you." Buck said hesitantly and was silently praying for it to be true.
"I CANT WAIT TO MEET THEM!" Jamie shrieked and the swirling emotions in Buck´s heart dispersed at his son's utter joy. And it only got better when he noticed Matt´s grimace at the screeching so close to his ears.
Lizzie laughed softly and set off both kids, which eventually set off Matt and Buck as well.
They said goodnight shortly after, when Buck and Matt had noticed that Lizzie was losing her energy and fast. She was already half asleep by the time he had put the phone on the small table next to the bed.
It had been a quick turn for her, unfortunately it had become the new normal for them ever since she had gotten sick, and he knew that he shouldn't expect anything different.
But still, seeing her with so much more energy than usual these last few hours than he had seen for the last three months combined, he couldn't stop the hope from filling his heart.
He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Sleep tight my love." And closed his eyes.