XoXo Gossip Gay

The first few hours of the mixer had been intense, to an uncomfortable degree, but boredom was quickly settling in. I was getting tired of shaking the hands of people who approached us out of voyeuristic curiosity only to have a laugh about us as soon as we were out of hearing range.

Was this what life in the upper echelon of society was like? I was growing increasingly thankful that my Dad and Grandpa had shielded me from it.

My mind had switched to autopilot. I was gliding through conversations, not fully present until Bryce suddenly clutched my arm.

"Oh bagga, it's my classmates." He exclaimed. "Quick, let's bounce before they approach us."

We engaged in a brief game of catch despite knowing full well that we were doomed to lose.

"Hey, hold up." One of them shouted at us.

As he came closer he strained his face and put a hand to his barely present beard. "Are you Bryce or Wyatt?"

"That's Wyatt." Johnny jumped in, coming to our aid.

Not sure why he did so, but I made a note to thank him later. I got the impression these guys were actually friends of his. Could be that nobody in this society had genuine friends and Johnny had weighed out his options, and decided that being loyal to his team would work out to be more favourable in the long run.

"You sure? I thought it's Bryce that plucks his hair like a chicken." Another one of them, a tall redhead with a crisp Scottish accent, remarked.

They looked awfully similar. His brother, maybe. Or another relative? Why was I straining myself? This inbred lot were all related.

Bryce reflectively brought his hand to the back of his head.

"We both do. It's genetic." He said shyly, then seemed to remember he had to put on an act. "Not like you're in any position to criticise my hair, firecrotch."

"Nice burn!" The friend hollered. "Yup, that's Wyatt, alright."

He came closer and held his arm out to do a fist bump, which Bryce clumsily returned.

"How's Japan? I see you've been busy. Finally scored with that guy you've been stalking, ey?"

Bryce shot me a pleading look. Seems he needed my help communicating with his peers. I was not exactly good at this either but I owed it to him to try.

"We make our own fun." I repeated his words from earlier.

"Yeah dude, I bet. That's one perk of dating a dude. Both of you actually want to bang."

The redhead put his arm around Bryce's shoulder. "Heard he went down on you in the stalls. Nice."

I had already made peace with the fact that everyone at this party knew about it. I even got the sense that some of the older men had tried to initiate a threesome.

"Better than any girl I've ever been with." Bryce bragged, trying to imitate the bro tone all of their voices held.

"As if you would ever go near a pussy."

Bryce laughed awkwardly. "Not like a pussy would ever go near you." He tried.

He was terrible at this, but to my surprise his remark got the guys cackling. Seems all he had to do to entertain this pack was to throw around lukewarm insults.

"You're a riot. Shame you left your worse half behind."

His mates eagerly agreed.

"Bryce is such a fucking bore. He's gotten even worse since you left. He's forced to eat lunch with the teachers now since we have all been icing him out. I think he actually enjoys it. What a loser. He still clings onto Ricky, convinced that they are actually friends when he just hangs with him out of pity."

"I hear Ricky is so done with him too. Told me he couldn't wait to get away from him, and then Bryce straight up bought his team so he could force himself onto him. What a loser." His friend chimed in.

"Nah, I don't think he minds it too much. I hear Bryce practically begged him to fuck him up the ass."

"Yeah, he told me that too, said he only did it cause he looks like you. Seems you've got a replacement lined up once this model tires you out." The obnoxious one said, with a nod in my direction.

"He is such a loser." Bryce agreed, sounding defeated.

I had to salvage this mess.

"It's been fun meeting you guys, but we were actually planning on heading off now." I cut in, hoping to sound convincing. Apparently not, judging from their perplexed faces, so I quickly added: "So we can bang."

They all cheered and tried to high five Bryce. He coldly ignored them

"Atta boy. Lucky you, Wyatt. This one has something to prove."

Bryce was still catatonic so I reached for his hand and pulled him back into the maze, fearing he might break into tears in front of the gang. Even when we were inside I kept on walking, until we must have protruded deeply into the centre of it. Bryce did not cry or utter any sound, it was starting to trip me up.

"Those guys are horrible." I remarked.

He did not react.

"Was Wyatt friends with them?" I inquired, hoping that he would tell me no, but to my disappointment he nodded.

"They're right." He muttered under his breath.

"No. They're shitheads."

"They're right about Ricky and me."

Wait? What?

"Didn't you just confide in me that you would never dare to tell Enrique you like him?"

"Sex and love are not the same thing."

"I guess not."

I was burning to ask him how it went down. I could not possibly imagine Bryce actually begging for it, or going through with it for that matter.

And part of me wanted to know if it hurt. If yes for how long? Did it eventually start to feel good? I should comfort him, but before I could do so, I had to get it out of my system.

"How was it?"

He seemed irritated by my intrusive question. "Wouldn't you know?"

"No. We have never." I admitted shamefully. "Was it any good?"

He shrugged.

"It was a little uncoordinated but better than with a woman."

"You've done it with girls?" I asked, it came out a little too surprised for my own liking.

No closeted teen enjoyed being pegged as obviously gay.

"Of course I have. I had to eliminate the possibility before I declared myself gay." He said in a cold, scientific tone.

Leave it to him to approach his sexuality in a systematic way.

"Okay, but you liked it with Enrique, right?" I probed, selfishly hoping he would let me in on some more details. If I was going to take that step with Wyatt, I wanted to know what to expect.

Unfortunately the mere mention of his name crumbled Bryce's emotional wall.

"I'm such a loser." He howled.

Damn, I should have known. I did my best to salvage the situation.

"No, I think those guys are. And Enrique too. Besides, I'm in no position to judge. Everyone knows I blew Wyatt at the club, and those guys are probably thinking I'm going down on you at this very moment."

He hastily shook his head.

"It's not his fault. I offered it to him. I told him that if he wanted to make sure he liked Wyatt he should try it. See if it would do anything for him. I practically manipulated him."

The thought that playboy Enrique had to be tricked into sex seemed absurd to me. Pretty sure he would drop his pants if a not too shabby looking primate shook its ass at him.

"He's an adult. He knew what he was doing. You were not fooling him. The fact that he allowed you to believe that is plain cruel."

"It's karma. For making a move on the guy my brother had a crush on. I waited until I he married you, I'm not a monster. Or maybe that makes me more of one, because Ricky was vulnerable. I was hoping he would fall in love with me, but how could he when I was trying to deceive him?"

I had to hold my tongue. What I wanted to say is that it was incredibly sad and I felt bad for Bryce, but calling him pitiful would do no good. I was horrified at what I had heard his classmates say. Bryce did not deserve this, even though he had convinced himself that he did.

"It's a little shitty, I give you that, but what he did to you is equally bad, if not worse. And there is no reason he had to tell his mates. You're even. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"There's no way he did. Ricky would hate it if this came out. It was actually me who told my ex girlfriend, clearly I made the wrong move in trusting her. Please don't say anything to Wyatt." He begged me. "I plan on telling him myself. I just wanted to enjoy having him by my side again, at least for a short while. We are twins, I don't think we are meant to spend time apart like that. It's all my fault."

I put a hand on his shoulder, he was not one for physical contact so I removed it once I sense him stiffen up.

"He will get over it. He has me now. There's no need to cry over Enrique." So I hoped.

"He loves you, he really does. But it's not about that. I broke a code. Exes are off limits. And we are brothers."

I had no siblings so I could not comment on that. But surely Wyatt would get over it once he realised how tortured Bryce was. Nonetheless, he needed someone to give him the okay now, to allow him to forgive himself.

"It's tough figuring it all out. Emotions are a drug. The gay thing overcomplicates everything. We don't have it as easy as other teens. There aren't as many options available for us. Wyatt is the only other gay kid at my school that I'm aware of. I'm sure it's equally limiting at yours."

"True." He admitted.

Finally. I was getting somewhere.

"Talk to him tonight. You will feel better once you've cleared the air, I promise. I can join. He's hardly gonna fight you for Enrique while I'm there."

"I'm still scared. You don't know our history, you don't understand how big of a betrayal this is."

"Then tell me."

Bryce plopped down on the grass, leaning against the hedge, probably wishing he could sink into it. I sat down next to him and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, offering him one. He gracefully declined. It seemed rude to start smoking so I stoved them away without lighting one. Even though I now had the itch for it. I made a mental note to limit that habit.

"He was always one to protect me. I did not have many friends but he stuck to my side. And if anyone took the piss or teased me he would beat them up for it. Mom and Dad always put the blame on him, but it wasn't his fault. I was a weird kid. I was a mute for years."

"Really? So was I."

I had never met another person like me before. Neither had Bryce by the look of it, his face briefly lit up in excitement.

"You were? For how long?"

"That depends on how you count. I would slip in and out of it whenever I became too overwhelmed. Started when I was about six years old and I was still struggling with it last year, during the tournament."

He nodded understandingly.

"For me it was consistent. My Dad once joked that I had some explaining to do when I would finally start speaking, and that kept me from it, even when I felt ready. Wyatt was the only person I could talk to. Even with him it was only intermittent. I think that's why he punished me by not speaking last year. He had been on the receiving end before so he knew exactly how hurtful it would be."

All this time, Wyatt's punishment had seemed oddly childish to me but in this context it finally made sense.

I must have forgotten to respond so after a forced pause Bryce continued.

"For years, I was the problem child. All the focus was on me, they neglected him. I think that's why he started acting out the way he does."

"He can be a bit unhinged."

"Before I reported him to the boarding housemaster I was trying to convince our parents to get him treated, I think he has a mental illness."

"I would not go that far."

He looked at me critically, like a teacher who could not believe his student struggled to solve the simplest equation.

"I'm not denying that he's a little nuts. But not to a clinical degree. Even my Dad acts more outrageous than he does, and he's perfectly functional." I clarified.

"Don't tell me you thought your Dad's behaviour was normal."

"He's a little extra, but he's not insane." I defended him.

"Kai, he's been hospitalised. My father disclosed that to me. Apparently he was telling everyone at school he was related to Genghis Khan and wanted to start a crusade."

People just could not help making up rumours. I rolled my eyes at him, making sure he saw it.

"1/6th of the population is related to Genghis Khan. He was probably just joking. His sense of humour is a little odd."

"He refused to learn French because he claimed he already knew the language and everyone else was speaking it wrong."

"You must be confusing him with someone else."

"I'm not. Think about it."

My Dad had a habit of being absent from my life for longer stretches of time. But there was no way that was the reason. Why wouldn't he tell me? Why wouldn't my grandfather tell me? He took advantage of any opportunity to make him look bad.

"Then your Father is mistaken. I know my Dad is a bit strange. He just has his moments, as does Wyatt." I hissed at him.

"That's my point. Wyatt has gone batshit. Whatever your Dad has, I suspect he has it too."

I could feel myself shaking, and to my own surprise realised it was in anger.

"Enough! You are overstepping your boundary. Stop accusing my Dad of nonsense just because you heard some gossip. You of all people should know that most of is groundless exaggeration, if not completely made up by sad individuals who are bored by their own uneventful lives." I barked at him.

I wanted to storm off, but I couldn't. Something was holding me in place. So I did the next best thing, clutching my arms around my knees, pulling them close to my chest.

Bryce's apology sounded distant and ingenuine. My mind was completely taken up by my own spinning thoughts.

I recalled how I myself had come close to a psychotic break last year. If it was true what he said, then why had I not been taken more seriously? Why had nobody warned me? Granted I had not exactly announced it to the world but why had grandpa not recognised the signs? Why had Dad not come to me in need and supported me through it?

Why had it been up to my fucking underage teammates to pull me out of it?

I had put the incident down to excessive stress. A one-off that would never occur again. And that had allowed me to push it under the rug, to not freak out about it. Now that rug had been pulled out from underneath me. What did this mean for my future? If my Dad had been hospitalised, then it was likely I might land myself in a mental institution one day.

Or worse.

Wyatt could end up in one.

And that thought broke my heart.