John held onto her books, tightly, waiting in the halls. She hurriedly adjusted her robes, trying to look presentable.

She was sort of loitering outside of the only class that she and Rose didn't share.

Oh, but it was a painful 90 minutes every other day, not seeing her. She'd tried to switch into the classtwice, but each time she'd been told that the stupid gifted class was more her speed anyhow, why would she want to switch out of that? She hadn't been able to give a good answer, and thus there they were.

She began to hop from foot to foot when a voice came up from behind her.

"What are you doing?"

She whipped around, looking at Jack with wide eyes. "Er…."

"Ahuh. What are you up to? Shouldn't you be at your class?"

"..." She rallied herself, and then flipped the table on him. "Shouldn'tyou?!"

"Ffffft. I go to class. I just happened to have a bathroom pass. What's your excuse, Doc?"

"Don't call me that…."

"You love it. Anyways, you hopin' to catch a glance of your girlfriend?"

"Oh my gods, please go away…" her face was hot.

"Johnny and Rosie, sittin in a tree…."

"Oh, by Merlin's beard…."

"F-u-c-k-i-n-g…."

She lept onto Jack's back, her hand covering his mouth as he playfully fought her, spinning around just as the Arithmancy class let out.

"Boh chsbdchb boh huhhhhh!" Jack said, pointing.

John glanced up, seeing Rose standing next to Shireen and Keisha, blinking at the sight before them. Shireen giggled, and whispered something into Rose's ear. Rose just shook her head and walked off with the other two, which made John go completely limp, sliding off Jack's back and nearly collapsing.

"Doc?"

"Oh, I've spoiled everything…." John muttered, dispirited, and began to walk toward the Great Hall for lunch, with a worried Jack in tow.

"Don't take it so hard, Doc….. you'll get her…"

"Oh, do shut up…." John muttered, miserably.

In the Great Hall, John was working on writing the small letter that she wanted Rose to read.

The words on the page felt stupid, clunky, not at all the natural and debonair way she'd wanted to ask out the other 7th year.

Dear Rose,

I'm so sorry about the way Jack and I carried on this morning. I had intended to speak to you, but that didn't quite work well, did it?

I know it may be a bit juvenile but…

Do you like me? Circle one.

- Yes

- No

Do you, perchance, like-like me? Circle one.

- Yes

- No

By like-like, do you mean….. Like like-like, or like…. Like-like…? Circle one.

- I experience romantic feelings for you

- I think of you as a friend

- I've circled no

If you have circled yes, I would hope you could perhaps find it in your heart to circle yes for the following question, although I would understand if the response was 'no'.
Will you accompany me to the Yule Ball? Circle one.

- Yes

- No

Thank you for your understanding.

John

John stared at the words on the parchment in horror.

"Whatcha writin?" Ryan piped up from next to her, looking concerned. "You don't even look a little bit happy with it."

John rested her head in her hands. "Oh, just the dumbest thing you could ever write to anyone, is all. I don't know why my words go all jumbled…"

"Because you're mad about her is why…"

"John and Rose, sittin in a tree-"

"Jack, for Merlin's sake!"

Ryan finished reading the parchment and shook his head, "Oh, that's bad, Doctor. Like, really bad. Come on, you're seventeen!"

"I know!" She nigh on wailed. "I don't know what's wrong with me!"

Jack made a lewd gesture, and John crumpled the parchment into a ball and threw it at him. He swatted it back at her, and she swatted it in return, but her aim was off.

It landed on one of the floating candles, lighting on fire, and making flaming bits of paper cascade down on some of the girls down the bench - two of which being Rose and Shireen.

Rose was running, panic on her face, a book covering her head.

"My hair!" Shireen whined.

"Let's go back to the Common Room, I've finished anyhow!"

John hit her head multiple times on the table.

"Thanks for the volcanic ash, John!" shouted Mickey Smith as he joined the girls.

After yesterday, to say John was humiliated was to make light of the situation.

She sat in Potions, after having been paired up with Yasmin, whom she normally enjoyed working with.

"What is with you lately?" Yasmin asked, shaking her head. "You nearly poured the entire thing of dehydrated snails into the mix! We could have been blown to Timbuktu!"

"Sorry," John muttered, flushing red. She didn't want to admit that the reason that she'd been so absent minded was out of a memory of when Rose had been reaching for something on the mantle in the common room, and she'd flashed just a hint of skin…. John coughed a bit, and looked back at the Potions Book.

"Why does everything always want something's eye?!" Yasmin grumbled.

"A valid question if ever there was one," John muttered in response.

The potion they were brewing was in order to send messages in bottles to people. She bit her bottom lip, worrying it a bit, before asking Yaz the question she really wanted to ask.

"Can we make the message be…. 'Will you go to Yule Ball with me?' because…. I'd like it to say that…." she whispered to Yaz.

The other girl's eyes widened. "Who are you sending it to- stupid question. You're going to ask Rose finally?"

"Does everyone and their mother know?!" John snapped, peevishly.

"I mean, yeah. But of course we can. Let's get to work so we can make sure its the best request ever!"

For all of the girls' hard work, they made sure that every single ingredient was put in perfectly. It really was going to be quite beautiful. That is, until someone crashed into their cauldron and nearly sent the entire thing to the ground.

John stood back up, brushing off her robes, and glared at Harry Saxon. "Was that really necessary?!"

"It's not my fault that you're always in my way."

"I don't even have time for you right now." John muttered, going back to her potion. She finished stirring, ignoring the snickers from the Slytherin table, and put the potion in a bottle.

Walking over to Rose for the delivery felt like her feet were made of lead. Look at her, that pink and yellow girl, with her flaxen hair and her cognac eyes. She threw her head back to laugh at something that Ryan said, and they seemed to be having a jolly time of it.

I am not jealous. I am not jealous. I am…. Totally jealous… what are they discussing?!

John was so imbued in her thoughts, she failed to see Harry Saxon's foot stuck out, and tripped right before the finish line.

The potion fell near the table, and everywhere it spilled went ablaze.

"What is the meaning of this?! Johnathan Smith, what have you done?!" the Potionsmaster sounded both irate and concerned, all in one.

"I…. I…." She was so humiliated, she wanted to cry.

"Saxon tripped her, Professor."

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!" Yaz snapped back, heatedly.

"I would never!"

"You would!"

"Can you believe this mudblood?!"

"HARRY SAXON!" the Potionsmaster was now irate. "Twenty points from Slytherin! That is foul language-"

"See?! He totally did it!"

"Prove it!"

"Oh, I'll prove it. I'll prove it all the way to your funeral, you little shi-"

"Yasmin Khan! That's it. You've both detention. As for you, John, you have detention too. And ten points from Gryffindor. This is ridiculous…"

John couldn't even look at Rose.

Ryan tried to protest, along with another two students, but the Professor snapped, "The next student to say anything without raising their hand will join them!"

"That's ridiculous, that is," came the voice of an angel, she swore it.

"Rose Tyler, you will be joining them in detention!"

"I'm telling you, John. You just never know if she's into you until you just walk right up to her and say, 'Oy! You should date me!' and that'll make her see…"

"Hello?! This is a library…" Yaz hissed.

"Ah, yes, Micks, the classic 'Hey you!' tactic. How could I have been so blind not to try it," John muttered, rolling her eyes.

"She's not some driver on the motorway, Mickey! Jeez!"

"Well, you come out with something better, then, Yaz!"

"I dare say I shall. John, have you considered just walking up to her and chatting with her? Look for an in. Look for what she's doing, what she's wearing, what she's reading. Just walk up to her and ask her about it."

John blinked a few times. "Y….you mean just…. Stare at Rose."

"Well, yes. To garner information."

"But I'm always staring at Rose-"

"I'll bloody say," Mickey muttered, but pressed his lips together at Yaz's glare.

"Stare at her for a moment, to garner information, ya yutz. Then go up to her and talk to her."

"All right….. Talk to Rose. About something I see. I can…. I can do that."

She got up and walked right over to where Rose was, deciding to be brave. She could do this. She could do this, she could do this.

"Dead girl walking," Mickey muttered, and Jack pressed his lips together.

"You never know, she might come through. John isn't stupid, she's very smart. She can talk, at a great length…"

"She's arse over elbow over Rose, this might not go well…."

"Do you remember the first time she saw Rose on the train in First Year?"

"When she grabbed her hand and said 'Run!' because one of the arsehole Seventh Years enchanted some plastic with that Nestene Spell? Yeah, she may have mentioned it a million times."

"Love at first sight," Yaz sighed, shaking her head at John walking with a soft smile. "They deserve to be happy. John is like my sister, I would love to see her content."

Rose was giggling across the room, talking to Donna about something or the other, when John walked up.

John gave her a cursory glance over, and saw the rose she had pinned to her jumper. She tried to force her own mouth to open, but it didn't, and Donna and Rose slowly turned to her, pinning her with their stare. She felt like a deer in headlights.

"Can we help you there, spacegirl?" Donna asked, and Martha, sitting next to her, looked up from her book with amusement.

"I….. er… I….. uhm…. Rose…."

"Yes, John?" Rose said, softly, looking into her eyes. She chewed her bottom lip a bit, did she look expectant?

"I…. erm….. Rose….. The uhm…. Chest…. Rose chest…"

Martha's eyebrow raised, and she pressed her lips together hard to keep the laughter in. Donna blinked a bit, and then snickered.

"Yes spacegirl, Rose has a chest. Good on ya to notice, yeah?"

Rose turned the colour of her namesake.

"I…. I mean…. Not that Rose has a chest, not that I was looking at her chest, I just, I saw her chest and it was a…. And Rose and…."

"J….John…." Rose stammered a bit, making John feel worse.

"I just-"

"Heyyyyyyyy!" Jack intervened, laughing and clapping John on the back. "We gotta go do that thing. That thing we were talking about."

"I…. what?"

"Come along then! Bye Rose. Hey Donna."

"Bye…" Rose murmured, blinking, uncertain of what just occurred.

"Don't you just 'hey' me, as though I'm some such tosh-" Donna started, and then Jack made a loud purr noise with his tongue, and she rolled her eyes. "Out with you, and the spacegirl too. Let us get some studying done, you gits!"

John had run all the way out of the library, ignoring her friends' cries after her.

She ran all the way to the bathroom, got into one of the toilets and just sat there for a minute, crying softly. She was so, so, so stupid andawkward, gods, shehatedherself sometimes!

She could talk to bloody anyone else, but Rose Tyler's eyes and she was a goner, had done since she was eleven years old, and it looked like it would be a lifelong thing. She would love this girl for the rest of her life, she knew. She would never turn to anyone else, she would just…. Chase after Rose.

Rose wanted to be an artist… John wanted to be a doctor. She wanted to save lives, to learn everything she could about how to do so. She'd daydreamed for years about coming home from medical school to see her wife in their flat, wearing an old pair of coveralls and a messy ponytail, covered in paint, creating a masterpiece on one of their walls. Handholding, a kiss, a dance, forever.

It made reality more painful.

A throat clearing made her glance down, seeing a pair of feet in front of the stall door. She shook her head, and started saying her apologies as she wiped at her eyes, when she opened the door to Harry Saxon, the rotter.

"This is a women's restroom, Saxon!" She snapped, stomping off toward the sinks. She thought she heard the door opening, but couldn't see it from around the corner. When nobody came, she just shrugged it off and paid attention to the boy speaking in front of her.

"Fffft. No women here, just a little girl a blubbering over how her little mudblood girlfriend won't notice her."

"You take that word back, right now!"

"Whatcha gonna do about it, then? You gonna actually fight me? You're nothing but a mudblood lover, is what you are. What is it about her, hmm? The little dirty blooded chav get you all hot and heavy? Why I bet, for a sickle, I could get the povertous little thing to suck my-"

He didn't finish his sentence, flying back with a grunt and spitting a tooth from John's fist. She hissed, shaking her hand a bit, unused to hitting anything. She'd also tweaked her wrist, using improper form.

"You're just the worst, do you know? You tout about how good you think you are, how superior your family supposedly is, but they're all a bunch of bigots, and they've made you just like them! At least when we were kids you were a person with your own thoughts and likes, but now you've become as overstuffed and insufferable as your dad!"

"You take that back! Being around those halfbloods and mudbloods has softened you, made you turn on your own kind!"

"My own kind?!" She burst out laughing, not sure if she was genuinely amused, shocked, or both. "My own kind? What, exactly, is my own kind? You?"

"Damned right! You're a Pureblood, same as me, we both come from high families, and you owe it to the House of Lungbarrow to straighten the fuck up!"

"I don't care what you, or anyone else says. You can stuff it."

"You should be marrying me like agood girl instead of making everything so difficult!"

John balked at this, and barely managed to sputter, "Ex…..excu….what?!"

"What do you mean, what?" Harry snapped, searching for his tooth and spitting blood on the floor without care for where it landed.

"You want to marry me?!"

"Of course I do, you dumb fucking….. How the hell do you not see that?!"

"How can I not see it?! You have been absolutely vile to me for the past seven years and you're asking me how I can'tseeit?! You'vetorturedme! Cast cruel spells and charms on me, set up elaborate pranks, mocked and humiliated me at every turn you possibly could! Now, you mock and objectify the girl that I…. that…."

"I was just trying to get your attention. Just little boy shit. You know how it is. I love you. I'm willing to forgive the filthy chav indescretion, not that you seemed to get very far with it, beyond moon eyes."

"Rose is not an indescretion-"

"Fine, keep her on as a concubine then. We'll have all sorts of fun with her. Who knows," he purred, taking John's chin in his hand, "Maybe after a taste of that, I'll be more on board with that mudblood lover in you…. It's kind of hot, in a vulgar way…"

John wanted to throw up all over him, but her stomach was regretfully empty. He was too close to hit, so instead she shoved him away from her.

"How can you ever think I could possibly want to be with you, and speak like that?! Rose is worth so much more than you could imagine. You're a narrow-minded bigot is what you are-"

"I'm a realist, sweetheart. Always have been. I'm rich, you're rich…Theta..."

"My. Name. Is. John. I don't love you. I don't even like you, let alone want you. I want Rose."

"Are you kidding me?! You're leaving me, for some, some, pisspoor nobody?!"

"We were never together. If you'd taken any interest in my life beyond making it miserable for the past seven years, you would have known thatI'm a lesbian, Harry. Instead of swanning in and out of it to bully and abuse me and my friends!"

"Fffft. You are really so sentimental. I already said you could have dalliances with-"

"You disgust me. Completely and utterly. If you never spoke to me again, Harry Saxon, it would be too soon."

"You and that m-"

"Do not dare call her that again. Don't breathe that ugly word near me again. I'm leaving."

"What? Back to her?!" He grabbed her elbows but she fought, managing to shove him off. "You'll be a whore to a gutter rat! You'd be disowned, your family name muddied, you'd have no assets and live in some fucking shoe like a Weasley-" he finally got a good grip on her shoulders and began to shake her so hard her head rattled. "Are you out of your mind?!"

John spoke with an angry quiet that seemed to echo off the walls. "I'd rather be her whore than your wife." and with that, she spat in his face, startling him enough to let her go. She turned around and started walking away, seeing Rose standing there. Before the shock could process, she lifted her wand.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Rose shouted, the magic flying right by John's head and hitting Saxon, just as he was swinging to hit her - hard.

His entire body audibly locked up, and he hit the ground like a sack of bricks. John was breathing heavily, as was Rose, the emotional labour of what had just occurred treating their bodies like a marathon.

John did the only thing she could do. She took Rose's hand, much like she had so many years ago, and said, 'Run!'

Sitting in the Common Room while everyone else was in class was an awkward thing. It was so silent, and it made it even harder to speak.

"Do you think that we'll... be in trouble?"

"No," John was firm in that. "Harry Saxon would rather rot than ever admit that a muggle-born bested him. He'll be looking for ways to punish you himself, he's not a Malfoy that needs to run to professors to solve their problems for them."

"Oh..."

"I won't let him hurt you."

The silence became palpable again.

John watched Rose bite her thumb, the way she always would when she was nervous, and look down at her lap, and then away. It was obvious she wanted to say something, but so did she, so she decided for once in her life to speak up to the woman she loved.

"I should say I'm sorry for my strong words in there…. about … my feelings for you… but I'm not sorry. I'm just sorry you had to hear them secondhand, and mixed into all of that deplorable language."

"You aren't responsible for Harry Saxon or his diatribes," Rose said, more calmly than she felt.

"I'm not, but I should have been firmer-"

"Any firmer, and he'd be at St. Mungos. You were plenty firm, he's just vile. I'm glad you're not going to marry him."

"Even if I were into boys, I'd like to think I'd better taste than him."

"What did you mean, about feelings?"

"Hmm?"

"You said you had feelings for me. What were they?"

"I…." Oh, she wasn't prepared to be gutted twice in one day, was she? "I was…. I was…"

"John, please," Rose whispered, and finally looked her deep in the eyes, glassy cognac orbs so much to take in.
Could there be hope…?

"From the day we first met, the instant I touched your hand and looked in your eyes, do you remember that? I took this beautiful hand, right here," she reached across, taking Rose's hand.

She traced the skin gently, surprised she had the nerve - and the apparent permission. There were callouses from the hours on end she spent sketching and painting, small nicks and scars from an x-acto knife or scissors from her crafting. She kept her nails short because it was easier to knit and crochet with, and she'd spoken to Donna at a great length about being excited to learn about how to make lace.

Her Rose was an artist, through and through, always trying to make the world so much more beautiful than it was.

"Do you remember what I said?" Why was she so breathless?

"You said 'run', just like now," Rose breathed, sliding ever closer to the very edge of her seat.

"Ever since that day, Rose… I have been totally, intensely, deeply, and even crazily… I just… I know I stopped talking to you, last year, because I thought for sure that maybe… separation from you could dampen my feelings. It did quite the opposite, in fact. I found myself more in love with you than ever."

Rose's voice cracked, "You love me?" She'd heard her say it in the bathroom, but saying it to her versus hearing her say it to another…

"I do. I honestly, truly do. It's always been you, and even if you don't feel the same, I will continue to love you for the rest of my life. For me, there is nobody else."

"You don't know that. We're Seventh Years, and -"

"I do know that, Rose Tyler. I do. You are it for me."

Rose sniffled a bit, looking down at her hands before glancing back up at John. "Well, that's good then. Because you're it for me, too. I have all these concerns from others in my life, expressing that I can't possibly know…. But I do. You're it for me, John. I'm so sorry I didn't have the courage to tell you…"

John's lip trembled as she took Rose's cheek in hand. "Do you mean that? Please, don't play with me. I couldn't handle that."

Soft tears cascading down those peachy cheeks, her pink and yellow girl's heart was on her sleeve. "I promise. I love you, John. I love, love, love you."

John whispered a soft, "May I?" and it was the sexiest and most romantic thing she'd ever heard. She barely finished nodding before their lips met, and the sound of desperation combined with a watery laugh.

Their lips met again, in a set of soft kisses, and both were riding on a high. It was all of the kisses that they'd both always dreamed of giving the other. Fingers in hair, hands being held, arms wrapped around each other, and then finally ending up snuggling, post makeout session, on one of the couches, watching the fire.

Rose was the little spoon, enjoying John's fingers ghosting up and down her arm. She made a purring noise and cuddled deeper into her embrace. "John…. Do you want to come to the Yule Ball with me?"

"What? Oh! Oh! But I was going to ask you!"

"When, next year?"

John chuckled a bit, and tilted Rose's chin up. "I will gladly go with you, precious girl."

Rose let out a happy noise, yanking her down for a kiss when John pulled away. "Wait, wait!"

"What?" Rose was kiss-dazed.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Rose grinned hugely, nodding.

"Well…. How long will you stay with me? This isn't… just a fling, right?"

"Forever."

That word and the following kiss was a balm to John's soul.

She was finally, blissfully, content. Nothing could break this moment.

"Ladies, you are late for your detention. Professor Lethbridge-Stewart would like to get it done before dinner…"

Damn.