Hogarth patted Varian's shoulder gently. It had been almost an hour, and the other boy hadn't moved. They'd been doing quite well, Hogarth thought, before Maximus had appeared. Something about the animal had retriggered Varian's panic from before. The result was Maximus stood with Varian's face in his chest, one leg wrapped around the young man, gently patting Varian's back with his knee.

Hogarth hadn't worked out what Varian's relationship to the white stallion was, but it certainly wasn't a normal one.

Varian stood now, his arms tucked in to his body, unmoving but for the occasional shake of his shoulders as he suppressed sobs. It was an improvement over the open crying he had been doing earlier. Hogarth couldn't recall a time he had ever seen Varian cry before. Honestly, he wasn't sure it was something he ever wanted to see again. It seemed so…wrong. The polar opposite of the enthusiastic, optimistic guy he'd come to know.

But clearly there were sides to Varian that he hadn't ever seen before.

Varian drew in one more deep, shuddering breath and finally stepped back. He wiped his eyes with his wrist and offered his companions a small, watery smile. "I'm sorry about this."

Maximus huffed.

Varian shook his head, as if he understood. "No. It's my fault. I know the doctors wanted me to start those medications months ago, and I haven't agreed to it yet. I've been talking to that woman they insisted I see, but I don't think it's really doing anything. She keeps saying I can talk to her about anything, but keeps trying to redirect me whenever I start discussing my projects. It's honestly really confusing, and I'm not sure what the point of it is. They said it would help, but the nightmares haven't stopped and-"

All at once it was like Varian remembered Hogarth was there.

Hogarth flushed deeply. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overhear." It wasn't his fault, but he felt the apology was necessary all the same. "The station doctors recommended I talk to a therapist as well. She asks me a lot of questions about the Iron Giant. I honestly find it helpful to have someone I can discuss him with. Our government basically forced my town into silence, and it's nice to remember that I didn't just make him up."

Varian frowned slightly. "Mine asks me questions about the Sundrop, but I don't want to talk about it."

Hogarth shrugged slightly. "There were things I didn't want to talk about, as well. She told me that talking about them is the only way to heal and move on."

"I don't want to move on." Varian answered bluntly. "Moving on means forgetting. And I will never, ever forget the lessons I learned. I will never put anyone in danger like that again."

Hogarth nodded. "I understand that. You don't have to forget, though. It's like….ah, it's like the memories are a knife. If you don't talk about them, they stay sharp. Every time you touch them, you get cut. So you avoid it, because you don't want to be cut. But then something happens, and you get cut again. Talking dulls the knife, so when you handle it, it won't injure you."

"A dull knife leads to a false sense of security." Varian countered. "You never cook with a dull knife, because it leads to mistakes and deeper wounds. A dull knife is more dangerous. And worse yet is when you think a knife is dull and grab the blade only to find out someone sharpened it in the night. I will not take those risks. If I know the knife is sharp, I can avoid being cut."

Maximus snorted again and butted his head into Varian's shoulder. The young man stumbled sideways, then turned to glare at the horse. "I don't care if you agree with him. I'm not taking those chances. I will not lose my father again!"

Hogarth suddenly understood. "Was it war?"

"What?" Varian spun towards Hogarth, his expression closed off and defensive.

Hogarth kept his hands low, palms turned towards Varian to show they were empty. Slowly - no sudden movements - he took a small step towards his friend. "My father died in the Korean war."

Varian's face twisted with pain, but he said nothing.

Hogarth took it to be a good sign. Carefully he took another small step towards his friend. "I was eight. They sent us his jacket, hat, and tags. My mom let me keep his jacket. I used to wear it almost every day. Especially when I was scared or I missed him. I still have it. Sometimes I still wear it."

Varian looked down. "I'm too small to wear anything of my father's."

Hogarth chuckled. "I was too small for his coat back then, too."

Varian offered him a small smile in response.

Gently, Hogarth set his hand on Varian's shoulder. When he felt no resistance, he pulled him in for a hug. "My step dad's great, but sometimes I just want my father. It hurts, not having him there. I don't know what happened to your dad, but I do understand the pain of losing him. And I do understand the losses war inflicts on families. You don't have to talk to me about anything, but…sometimes when I talk about him, it feels like he's alive again. Maybe you can tell your therapist about your father? Keep him alive like that?"

Varian stiffened slightly. "My father isn't dead."

Hogarth squeezed him tighter. "Good. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt if you ever thought he could be. Even if he was just a prisoner of war, it doesn't make it less painful. Start by just talking about the good times, yeah? The more you talk about them, the easier it will be to think of those times first, before the bad."

Varian relaxed into his arms and hugged Hogarth back fiercely. "Thank you, Hogarth. You're a good friend."

Hogarth pulled away and cuffed Varian's shoulder. "I'm a standard friend, thank you very much. This is the bare minimum you deserve!"

Varian shrugged. "I wouldn't know, honestly. I'm not sure I've ever had a normal friendship before." He planted his hands against his lower spine, leaning back slightly and looking up at seemingly nothing, just squinting towards the sun. "I've had one that's been pretty steady lately, though. And a good reminder of it every dawn."

"Well I am an expert in friendship," Hogarth responded confidently. "I taught an entire war machine what friendship is. So I think I can confidently tell you that everything I say about friendship is word and law."

"I'll be asking you about that war machine later," Varian promised, "But on the subject of friends and friendship, I think I found them."

AN: I am so sorry! Life has been hectic, and I just totally forgot to upload here! I got you over in AO3, but somehow this one slipped my mind. I'll be catching you up on all four chapters at once, so please don't miss a chapter! I'll be leaving this note on the other chapters as well, just to be sure you get them all. 3