Chapter 12
Conrad and I hold hands as we walk down the pier towards the beach house. The way his hand fits in mine is something I could get used to. His hands were bigger now. More manly. Strong. Warm. Mine.
"This almost doesn't feel real." I blush as I watch the fireworks explode in the sky above us. They were nothing compared to the fireworks exploding inside my heart for him.
"Yeah?" Conrad smiles and pulls me into him. "How about now?" He sweeps me off my feet and I giggle under his kiss.
We walk the rest of the way to the beach house hand in hand and I take one more look at him before we go inside. His face is relaxed, illuminated by the outside lights, as he holds the door open for me and I realize this is my favorite Conrad. The happy one. Come back and be the you I love and remember I used to whisper inside of my head and here he finally was. The sweet boy I'd known my whole life. Oh, how I'd missed him.
"What?" He notices me staring.
I just smile at him. "I swear this is a dream."
"This is real." Conrad lifts my hand he is holding and kisses the top of it. "As real as it gets."
We're careful to not wake anyone as we tiptoe through the house. The house is quiet as everyone sleeps with the exception of the fireworks outside. Conrad doesn't let go of my hand as we walk up the stairs and it feels like we're teenagers sneaking around all over again. When we reach my bedroom door, I turn to look at him. The hallway is dark and all I can make out is his shadowy figure standing next to mine. It gives me the courage to say what I was thinking out loud. To say what had been eating away at me after reading one of his letters.
"In one of the letters..." I whisper then pause. "It talked about how you broke things off with Agnes. Listen, I'm really sorry for picking a fight with you the other night, Conrad. It was so stupid and immature. I'm really sorry. I think I was just..." I trail off, looking down.
"What?" He whispers, squeezing my hand in the dark.
"Scared." I look up at him.
"Scared of what?"
My breath shakes. "Scared of what I feel for you."
Conrad surprises me when he hugs me. His warm arms wrap around me and I'm home. Conrad was never the first to hug anyone. Susannah used to joke she'd have to beg him for a hug when Jeremiah would give them out for free. Maybe I was the only exception to Conrad's rule and I liked that.
"You know, I've carried those letters with me for years." He whispers with his cheek pressed against my hair as we hug. "I just couldn't bring myself to let go of them... I think deep down I knew if I did, it would mean I'd have to finally let go of you..." He hugs me tighter.
I don't say a word. I don't even dare to move. He was being so vulnerable tonight and it was all I'd ever wanted. It was what my heart had been waiting to hear for years.
"Those letters have always belonged to you, Isabel." Conrad continues. "I'm sorry I didn't give them to you sooner. And about Agnes... it's all in the past now. We can move on. I forgive you if you forgive me."
His choice of words change something within my heart. Conrad and I were moving forward and it felt like we had earned it after all of our lessons and mistakes. I smile.
"Thank you for giving me your letters." I squeeze him tight. "I'm really glad you did. And of course I forgive you. I forgive the younger and dumber us for everything." I laugh and he does too.
We stay like that for awhile, two young hearts finally making their way back home as we hug. Then I finally feel brave enough to whisper the words out loud.
"So this is really happening?" I whisper. "Me and you?"
"If you want it to." He says after a moment.
Same old Conrad. Didn't he already know the answer? How could I ever want anything else? I suddenly feel an urgency to grab him and never let him go. He was saying all the right things tonight and the walls of my heart were all falling down. I could see it. I could finally see a future â" one that wasn't blank or uncertain or unclear. Had it truly been him this whole time? I think my heart already knew the answer. All my life I had dreamed of forever with the same boy. Him.
I make the first move this time. I close the distance between us and I place my hands on either side of his face. I kiss him the way I had dreamed of kissing him in my head for years. I make him mine. I kiss him long and slow. It was a kiss worth a thousand words and feelings. When I pull away, the air between us feels charged. Electric even. I can't make out his face in the dark but I know that we are both smiling.
"What was that for?" Conrad catches his breath in awe.
"For everything." I whisper, shaking my head. "For being you, Conrad Fisher."
He is quiet for a moment then his voice turns serious.
"You have no idea how long I've waited for this." Conrad kisses me again and I melt into him.
Suddenly, a door opens and it's Steven. He rubs his eyes as he almost runs into us in the dark.
"Belly?" He rubs his eyes again and starts to wake up more. "Conrad?" He yawns.
"Wait, is this like happening?" He points at the two of us in his confused, half-asleep state.
Conrad and I look at each other smiling but it's too dark for Steven to see or notice. He takes our silence as a response and waves us off.
"I'll just pretend I didn't see anything." Steven walks past us to the bathroom. "But for the record, Con, I told you so." He shuts the bathroom door behind him with a proud laugh.
Conrad and I both laugh in the hallway. It was a relief in a way that Steven knew. It was all happening so fast I hadn't even wrapped my head around it yet.
"I should let you sleep." Conrad sighs but he doesn't let go of my hand. Why were we always saying goodbye?
Conrad leans in to kiss my cheek and whispers goodnight. I whisper goodnight back and steal one more kiss then I watch him fade away to his room. My hand and lips immediately feel the loss of him and it takes every inch of me to not knock on his door.
That night, I lie awake for hours. I was too happy to sleep. For once, reality was better than my dreams. I felt giddy and alive. Only he had that effect on me. No one else. To help me fall asleep, I open another letter of his and I read it in my bed with my phone flashlight.
Dear Belly
The leaves are finally starting to change here. Remember that one October when I drove to your house and I knocked on your door with candy? That was a good night.
This semester has been a busy one. I wonder how your classes are going. I hope you are liking them. I hope you're adjusting well to college life. Hey, have you ever heard of the Mere Exposure Effect? We learned about it today in class. Apparently the more we are exposed to something, the more attractive it becomes to us over time. It proposes that we will always pick what's familiar over what's new.
It made me think of how long we've known each other. How we grew up together. The girl with roller skates and freckled shoulders. The girl who swims like she's in the olympics late at night. The girl who could live off of Cherry Coke and Sour Patch Kids. The girl I've known since she was a baby who somewhere along the way has become the only girl I ever think about. When it comes down to it, I'll always choose you over someone new. Every summer when you'd arrive to the beach house, it would hit me all over again. I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off of you even if I tried. I guess the effect you've had on me our entire lives has a name. Cheesy, right?
Happy almost Halloween, Belly. Eat lots of candy. That's an order. P.S. My mom found this picture the other day. I figured it fit the occasion.
Love,
Conrad
I find an old polaroid picture inside the envelope. It was a Halloween when I was 6 or 7 years old. My mom must have sent it to Susannah. I was in a Little Mermaid costume cheesing for the camera with smeared lip gloss and holding up candy. I laugh at the picture and read his letter one more time before I fall asleep holding his letter and Junior Mint to my heart.
Conrad:
I'm in a tux on the beach standing next to Jeremiah and Steven. They pat my back and whisper things into my ear but I'm not paying attention. Because as soon as I see her, everything fades away. The music stops. The world stops. All I see and know is her.
Isabel Conklin is a vision in white as she walks towards me. She is backlit by the sun and it makes me think of my mom. Sunrises and sunsets always reminded me of my mom as if she was painting the sky with her watercolors. I could feel her here with us today. I can't help but wonder what my mom would say if she saw Belly and I now. Her words "Good things come to those who wait, Connie" come to me and it makes me tear up. My mom had been right all along. She had been right about a lot of things. Mom's are always right. Belly and I were meant to be. I begin to cry as Belly makes her down the sand to me. One step closer to our little forever.
John's arm is linked around Belly's as he walks her down the aisle. He has tears in his eyes as he looks back and forth between us. The crowd is full of familiar faces as they admire Belly. Laurel. Some of my mom's friends she loved dearly in Cousin's. Even Adam is here and to my surprise, he is crying too watching us. John hands Belly off to me and I grip his shoulder. I knew how hard it was for him to give his only daughter away. Laurel smiles at the two of us as John smiles at me. I don't know what I deserved to marry into the best family there was. I was lucky.
When I finally turn to her, my beautiful bride. More tears stream down my cheeks as I take her in. Today was ours. This was our start. Isabel Conklin was about to become Isabel Fisher.
The girl I'd known and loved my entire life was about to become my wife.
I wake up from the dream feeling surprisingly calm and elated. I had been having dreams like this ever since I'd given her the letters. I wasn't sure what they meant but I also didn't mind them. Sometimes it was nice to pretend Belly and I were together but today I didn't have to pretend. It was all real. I run a hand through my hair and sit up in my bed as I think about the day before. I couldn't wait to kiss her and hold her again. My girl. My sunshine.
I head downstairs to fix myself a cup of coffee and Jeremiah is passed out on the couch. He had fallen asleep there, judging from how his curls were sticking up on one side. He wakes up from the noises of the coffee maker and groans, touching his head hungover.
"Morning." I laugh as I set down a mug of coffee for him.
Everyone would be hungover today. It was the least I could do. Fourth of July was a big holiday in this house. But as for me, I wasn't hungover from the alcohol. The only hangover I had was from Belly. I was drunk off of her. God, I just couldn't wait to see my girl again.
Jere rubs his eyes as he sits up and yawns. "You made coffee?"
"I always make coffee." I tease him as I pour myself a cup in the kitchen.
He yawns again then brings the mug to his lips. We both enjoy our coffees in the living room together in silence. I can't help but smile as I look outside the window. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was waking up. The birds were singing. The sky and ocean were so blue. It was going to be a great day.
"What's with the good mood?" He eyes me.
I shrug as I watch the morning birds fly outside the window. "Nothing."
"You never make me coffee, Con." Jere laughs. "Something is up."
"Would you rather me be an ass?" I tease him as I bring the mug to my lips.
"Fine. Don't tell me." Jere laughs. "I already know."
He laughs when he sees the look on my face.
"You weren't that quiet when you two came in last night." Jere explains. "I woke up to you two giggling and sneaking around. It was actually kind of... cute."
"Cute?"
"Change the subject all you want." Jere laughs, rolling his eyes at me. "I know what I saw."
I laugh and shake my head as I sip on my coffee, looking back out the window.
Jere just laughs. "It's written all over your face."
The front door opens before I can say anything. It was likely Laurel checking the mail or bringing in the morning paper. She was always one of the first ones up. But as the heavy footsteps and keys jingle down the hallway, I recognize the sound of them right away. Jeremiah and I both look at each other. I know he recognizes them too. We had heard those foot steps our whole lives.
"There's the Fishermen!" Adam enters the living room with open arms. I wait for a girl to walk in behind him. His latest and greatest shiny new toy. But to my surprise, he had come alone.
Jere stands up to greet him first. "Dad? What are you doing here?"
"I was nearby. Figured I'd drop in." Adam smiles at Jere. "Happy belated Fourth, boys."
Jere laughs. "Happy Fourth."
"Hey, how's the new job working out?" Adam grips his shoulder, father to son. "They still treating you well?"
"Oh yeah, I'm picking it up fast." Jeremiah grins. "They might promote me soon. They say I remind them of you."
"That's my boy!" Adam and Jeremiah embrace in a hug. "It's that Fisherman charm."
Jere laughs. "Guess so."
Adam turns his attention to me. "Connie. Hey."
I nod. "Adam."
"Adam?" Laurel appears behind them with a blank look on her face.
Adam turns around and they both look at each other. For a moment, it feels awkward. Suddenly there is tension in the room and I want to know why. My eyes flicker between them.
"Laurel." Adam clears his throat. "Good to see you."
"Likewise." Laurel replies then she suddenly remembers Jere and I are in the room. "Morning boys." She nods.
My eyes follow Laurel as she walks into the kitchen. She makes herself a coffee and her hands shake. It was the first time I'd ever seen Laurel's hands shake. I sit up straight and I feel uneasy. What was going on?
"So, what's the big plans for the day?" Adam faces Jeremiah.
Jeremiah shrugs, crossing his arms. "It's pretty open. How long are you in town for?" Laurel looks over from the kitchen, curious too.
"Well, it depends."
"Depends?"
"On how many fish you can catch." Adam winks at Jere and they both laugh.
"I'm so down." Jere smiles but Laurel and I stay quiet.
Jere makes last minute plans to go fishing with Adam. They invite me but I tell them I made plans with Cleveland which is a bold face lie. Laurel looks at me, knowing I'm lying, but she doesn't say anything. I head upstairs to change to go surfing and mostly to avoid Adam. After I change, I pop my head in Belly's room thinking about inviting her to come with me. She is sound asleep cuddling Junior Mint and I spot one of my letters in her hand. I smile at the thought of her staying up to read my letters. I shut her door softly to let her sleep in. I make plans in my head to take her out to breakfast as soon as I get back from surfing. When I finally hear Adam's car leave, I make my way downstairs. When I round the corner, I hear hushed whispers coming from the living room.
Cleveland sighs. "What can I do, Laurel?"
"Nothing." Laurel sounds like she's on the verge of tears.
Cleveland sits closer. "We can fight this."
"How?" Laurel looks at him. "God, what about the kids?" She puts her face in her hands, shaking her head.
He takes a moment to answer her. "I promise you we will get through this. We won't let Adam win."
I close my eyes. What had Adam done now?
Laurel begins to break down and Cleveland does his best to comfort her. I inch closer to listen.
"Adam has money, Cleveland. He has the best lawyers. The best connections..." Laurel whispers. "What if we don't win?"
As soon as I hear the word lawyers I'm on alert. I knew Adam showing up here wasn't a coincidence. He was up to something. He was calculated like that. I feel sick to my stomach.
"Hey." Cleveland takes Laurel's hands in his. "I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to do this alone. I can help. Let me help you fight this, Laurel."
"I just can't believe he's doing this. We can't tell the kids." Laurel looks at Cleveland. "Especially the boys. It'll crush Connie."
"Laurel, they have a right to know. It's their father." Cleveland says. "The more people we have to fight this, the better the outcome will be. They're not exactly kids anymore..."
What was she trying to protect me from? Whatever it was, I wasn't going to let her do this on her own. I would never forget the way Laurel stepped up for Jere and I when Adam couldn't even lift a finger after my mom passed.
"No." Laurel says. "They can't know. Not yet. It would ruin everything with the trip coming up in August. I mean, Steven is proposing-"
"We'll figure it out." Cleveland nods. "But you can't keep it from them forever. You know that."
Laurel sighs. "I know."
"Know what?" I keep my eyes on Laurel as I step into the living room, making my presence known. Laurel and Cleveland look up at me.
"I should have known you were listening." Laurel looks down. "You don't miss a thing."
Cleveland looks at me. "Conrad, you should sit down for this."
The suspense was killing me. I already knew the kind of person my father was. I didn't need to be babied. I could take it. I could handle it. I wasn't scared of Adam anymore. Maybe when I was a kid but not anymore. He was a coward. A poor excuse for a man. I had a right to know.
"Laura." I sit down and face her. I call her what I used to call her as a kid and her face softens. She looks at me with tears in her eyes and it kills me. I want to punch Adam for putting them there. I want to set the world on fire.
"What did Adam do?"
I take my time getting ready that morning. I do my hair. I curl my lashes and put on mascara. I apply some light blush and my favorite lip mask. I put on a new sundress he had never seen me in before then I spray perfume on my wrists. For the first time in a long time, I don't hate the reflection in the mirror. I liked the person looking back at me. This summer really was proving itself to be different. It was the summer that was changing everything. I smile and take a deep breath in the mirror. Today was going to be a great day.
I knock on Conrad's bedroom door and it cracks open. Of course his bed is made and it's empty. He had always been an early riser. I figured he was out surfing with Jere or something. I sigh then skip down the stairs to make breakfast. I stop short when I see the three of them gathered together in the living room. Laurel, Cleveland, and Conrad. They had been so quiet I hadn't heard them. It looked like a meeting of some sort - one that I had clearly interrupted.
"Morning." I greet them, my eyes resting on Conrad last. I wait for him to look at me and notice my sundress but he doesn't. He looks lost in thought as if he hadn't heard me.
Cleveland and Laurel fake smiles at me. Cleveland sits up straight with his arm around my mom. My mother's eyes looked tired and puffy. Had she been crying?
"Morning, Bean." My mom's voice sounds off as she acknowledges me. Another fake smile.
"Everything okay?" I direct the question at all of them.
Cleveland takes a look at Laurel and Conrad then answers for them. "We all had way too much to drink last night. Don't get old. It sucks." He laughs but I still don't buy it.
I don't buy it but I pretend like I do and I turn around to walk into the kitchen. I open the cupboard to pour myself a bowl of cereal but as I reach for the cereal a better idea comes to me. I walk back to the living room and look straight at Conrad. He still doesn't acknowledge me and it hurts.
"We're out of cereal." I lie. "How about a muffin run to cure our hangovers?" I laugh.
I was purposely inviting him to get some alone time together. Conrad finally looks at me for the first time since last night but it's like he looks right through me and doesn't see me at all. His eyes look lost and distant. He quickly looks back down to the floor with a stoic expression.
"Sorry, I'm not hungry." He rejects me without apology.
It was like the night before hadn't happened or meant anything. Like it was erased out of existence. I wanted to erase myself with it. I felt humiliated, confused, and blindsided then confused all over again. Cleveland notices the painful exchange between us. My mother keeps her head down, lost in thought too.
"Great idea, Belly." Cleveland clears his throat and pulls out his wallet. "Grab a muffin for everyone. I'll pay. I hear they are the best hangover cure in Cousin's." He jokes and hands me a twenty.
I stare at the twenty in his hand with a blank expression. I decide to not take it. I didn't need Cleveland's pity. I knew better by now. This was all my fault for thinking it could be different.
"Keep it." I say as I walk out the door without looking back. As soon as I drive away, I let myself cry.
Conrad:
Belly leaves and I close my eyes. It was the worst fucking timing in the world. I wasn't trying to hurt her. I just couldn't be alone with her and act like everything was fine when it wasn't. She would see right through me. She knew me too well. She would demand to know what is wrong and I would have to lie, which is something I didn't want to do. I was tired of all the lies, especially ones that had to do with my father.
The reason Adam had come to Cousin's remained unclear but the news Laurel delivered to me rocked my world: Adam was trying to challenge my mother's will. He wanted to contest her will. Laurel caught wind of it from Aunt Julia. Thank God Aunt Julia had warned us. The last thing Laurel expected was for Adam to show up unannounced and act like everything was fine.
A familiar bitterness crept back into my heart for my father. Just when things were finally going right with Belly and the whole family, Adam had to come fuck it all up. It was what he did best. Typical Adam. My mind starts to work to come up with solutions. I wasn't going to let him do this. He wasn't going to take something else away from mom. He had hurt her enough.
"We should call her." I speak for the first time since Belly's left. "Aunt Julia."
Laurel purses her lips. "She is Beck's sister. That has to count for something."
I didn't know much about the legalities of contesting a will but I did know having my mom's sister's support was a step in the right direction for us to win.
"I'll call her." Laurel nods in agreement then she hesitates. "Just not here. I'll wait until we leave."
"Thank you." I say to Laurel and she gives me a sad smile.
"Conrad, I know this is hard to hear..." Cleveland starts. "This isn't all on you I hope you know that. We're here for you. You don't have to do this."
"I know." I say. "But I want to."
As much as I appreciated Cleveland's wise counsel, right now all I wanted to do was punch something. And it would be nice if that something was Adam. My hands make fists.
"This can get really ugly, Conrad." Laurel swallows. "I want you to understand what you're getting yourself into if you help usâ This might not end well for your father if-"
"He hasn't been my father for a long time." I shake my head at the two of them. "You can't talk me out of this. I want to help."
"Connie, this might-" Laurel starts but I stand up out of frustration and she stops talking.
"Laur, I love you but there is nothing you can say that will make me feel sorry for Adam."
"Conrad, we say this because we care." Cleveland sighs. "We worry about you. This is shocking news-"
"It's not shocking." I laugh. "This is who Adam is. This is what he does. And I'm not going to let him do this to her."
"What about Jere?" Laurel looks at me. "We both know how much he idolizes Adam. Even now. He's going to feel torn between you two-"
"Good." I raise my voice. "Maybe he will finally wake up to who our 'father' is and who he has always been."
I walk away making it the end of the conversation. And they don't follow me. Laurel knows better than that. I could tell Cleveland wanted to but she puts a hand on his leg and says "let him go".
I don't end up surfing. I go for a long run on the beach instead. I run and run until my legs give out. I suddenly feel like I can't breathe and I force my legs to run to a quieter spot only locals know about. Then when my legs can't take it anymore, I collapse in the sand. My heart races and my breath shakes as the panic attack takes over my body. I sit down in the sand and put my head in my hands as I try to focus on my labored breathing. I utilize what Cleveland and Belly taught me. If only I hadn't pushed her away Belly would be with me right now. I punch the sand and I start to cry as I try to come to terms with reality. Hearing my father was trying to contest my mother's makes the pain of losing her resurface. I wasn't going to let it happen.
"Don't worry, mom." My voice cracks as I look up at the sky as I cry. "I'll fix this... I promise."
Taylor and I lay out by the pool that sunny afternoon. Our tans were coming in nicely and my shoulders were popping with freckles. It felt good to have company at the beach house. For weeks, I had been alone with my own thoughts. I had missed Taylor. It was nice to have girls time even if it meant Steven was tagging along.
"Damn, sis! You're as red as a lobster." Steven pokes my sunburnt shoulders.
"Shut up, Steven!"
He laughs, walking back inside. "Whatever, I'm tan enough. I'm going to play video games." He kisses Taylor before he walks back inside.
"I've always been jealous of how tan you get." Taylor sighs.
"Move to Cousin's and you'll get tan too." I tease.
Taylor laughs then she looks at me. "You okay, babe? You seem quiet today."
"I think I had too much to drink last night." I lie.
Taylor laughs. "Conrad did make those pomegranate margaritas strong." Then she adds. "Maybe he did it on purpose. You did look super hot in that bikini I gave you."
I laugh and roll my eyes. "Oh, whatever."
"I'm serious." Taylor smiles. "Conrad couldn't stop drooling over you. I saw his hands all over you when we played chicken. Don't act like you didn't like it."
I think about yesterday remembering how great of a day it had been but then I realize it didn't matter. After this morning, he made it pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with me.
"So, Conrad and I talked last night." Taylor casually brings it up like it's not a big deal. I almost laugh at her.
"Since when are you two on talking terms?"
"I'm just as surprised as you." Taylor laughs. "For once, I didn't want to strangle him either. Maybe Conbad isn't so bad after all."
Any other day I would have loved to hear Taylor finally approve of Conrad but right now it just made our exchange from this morning hurt even more. I didn't want to talk about him. I didn't even want to think about him. It makes me want to curl up in a ball and just cry.
"Did you hear about the party tonight?" I change the subject as I turn on my back under the sun.
"Since when are you into parties?" Taylor turns on her back too and adjusts her sunglasses. "And I thought you were hungover?"
"It sounds like it could be fun." I shrug. "Nicole and Gigi posted about it. I could be the sober driver."
"The skanks who left us naked in the woods? No thanks." Taylor rolls her eyes.
I laugh. "Will you ever let that go? And it's not at their houses, Tay."
Taylor takes a moment. I could tell she was considering it. "Then whose house is it?"
"Probably at some rich kid's house." I shrug. "You know, with tons of free booze and food."
I knew that would get her excited. Taylor couldn't resist a good party. Some things never change.
"Fine, I'll go." Taylor laughs then looks at me. "But you have to let me pick out your outfit. For old times sake."
Later that night, Steven drives us to the house party. I give him the address Gigi and Nicole had given me. Steven invites Jeremiah at the last minute so it is just Steven, Jeremiah, Taylor, and I. Conrad had been MIA the entire day so we all figured he had other plans which was for the best. We were both avoiding each other. I was still feeling hurt and confused by him.
Jeremiah laughs as we pull up to the house. "It's one of Clay's parties? Oh, I'm getting drunk tonight!"
Steven laughs as he puts the car in park. "I thought I recognized the smell of douche."
Jeremiah teases. "Clay may be a douche but he is stupid rich. His parties are the best and you know it."
Clay Bertolet was known for throwing wild bonfires and parties in Cousin's. Some of his parties got really wild. I remember Jeremiah sneaking out then telling me about them over the years. We walk up to the house and Clay opens the door right as we are about to open it. He looks surprised to see Steven and Jeremiah. He was definitely buzzed.
"Steven fucking Conlklin! What's up, man?" They exchange a handshake. He greets Jere next. "And Jeremiah Fisher? To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Clay sees Taylor and I last. His eyes give me a quick glance over and I suddenly feel very uncomfortable in the outfit Taylor dressed me in. His stare makes me feel naked like he is undressing me with his eyes. I have to break eye contact because of how uncomfortable it is.
"Wow, it's been awhile." Clay grins. "Looking good, Belly."
Taylor laughs. "Are you going to let us in or not?"
"Right." Clay laughs then opens the door wider to let us in. "Alright, so booze and snacks are in the back. Only rules are there are no rules. Make yourselves at home!"
I'm the last one to walk in and I can feel Clay checking me out as I step inside. I pull my shorts down. I knew they were too short but Taylor had insisted on me wearing them with the blue crop top I had picked out. Jeremiah looks at me and notices Clay following me.
"Sup, Bells." Jere throws a hand around my shoulder and Clay walks away then he whispers. "Don't worry about Clay. Steven and I will keep an eye on you tonight."
"ESP tell you that?" I laugh, feeling grateful he had noticed Clay following me and how uncomfortable I was.
"No, your face did." He laughs as we make our way over to the booze table.
Jeremiah starts to pour me a drink. Steven does the same thing for Taylor. It looked like Vodka. I look around at the massive party around us. It was one of the biggest houses I'd ever seen with endless rooms and ceilings. I look back at Jere, suddenly remembering I was the DD.
"Hey, pour it light." I laugh. "I'm the DD tonight, remember?"
"We can always call an Uber." Jeremiah winks as he hands me my drink. "You deserve to have some fun too."
I smile at him as I take it. I had missed Jeremiah's happy energy. He had been MIA like Conrad for most of the day.
"Hey, where were you today?" I ask him. "For a moment, I thought you had left."
"Aww." Jere grins as he makes his own drink. "You missed me?"
I laugh. "Don't push it."
He takes a sip of his drink. "My dad's in town. We went fishing and just lost track of time."
I stop drinking and look at him. I hadn't seen Adam's car at the house. He must not be staying at the beach house. I liked it better that way. There was always tension in the house when Adam was around. The house didn't belong to him the way it did to us kids. I began to wonder if Adam was the reason behind Conrad's sour mood this morning but I also knew it still didn't give him the right to treat me the way he had. Especially after the day we had shared.
"That's cool." I nod. "How long is he in town for?"
Jeremiah shrugs. "You know my dad. He never stays for too long."
"Well, I'm glad everyone's on good terms again." I smile.
"Yeah, it's too bad my brother will never be." Jere sighs.
I didn't know what to say to that so I just nod. As upset as I was at Conrad, I knew he had his reasons for not wanting to spend time around Adam and they were all very good reasons.
"Jeremiah!" Gigi suddenly spots Jere and shouts from across the room. She had always loved to flirt with him. She sees me and I wave at her. She waves at me then turns her attention back to Jeremiah. "Come here! I need a karaoke partner!!"
She was wearing a tight pink bodycon dress and she had the body for it. Jere takes one look at her then downs the rest of his drink and winks at me. "Catch you later, Bells!"
I laugh. "Behave, Jere."
Jere laughs then walks past me. I walk up to Taylor and Steven as soon as he is gone. They were laughing about something.
Taylor snorts, looking at Gigi. "She always was desperate over Jeremy."
"Did you know Adam was in town?" I cock my head at Steven, ignoring Taylor's comment.
"No." Steven looks at me just as surprised as I am. "Why is he here?"
"I don't know. Jere said he went fishing with him today."
"I bet that's why Conrad hasn't been around then. I texted him the address of the party but he never replied." He looks down at his phone.
Taylor sighs. "Okay, we didn't come to a party to gossip. Come on. Let's go have some fun!"
Taylor drags Steven and I to the even bigger party that was happening in Clay's huge backyard. There is a live band and two pools with red solo cups littered everywhere. People are dancing under red white and blue streamers. Clay could get away with obnoxious parties too because there were no other houses around him for miles. His house was out of the way, hard to find.
I laugh. "Wow. This looks..."
"Obnoxious?" Steven laughs, taking the word's out of my mouth.
"Like a frat party?" Taylor laughs then she cocks her head. "Wait, are we too old for this?"
I laugh and sip my drink. "Maybe."
"Damn, Clay's loaded. Like he has 'fuck you' money." Taylor shakes her head, taking it all in. It was making our graduation party look like nothing.
"Probably how he gets out of everything." Steven jokes. "Con said his parents paid him to go to school even though all he did was party and fool around with girls."
Suddenly, I spot Nicole in the crowd and she walks over to us. We both hug and she smells like heavy perfume. It reminds me of the bonfire years ago, how she had smelled when I first met her. She had been kissing Conrad with a red socks hat. I shake the memory away.
"Belly." She smiles. "Look at you. You look amazing!"
"Not as amazing as you." I blush then look at Taylor. "And Taylor is my stylist so all the credit goes to her."
"Hey, Taylor." Nicole nods. "It's good to see you."
Taylor fakes a smile at her then crosses her arms and looks away. She had never gotten over the naked in the woods thing even though it had been years ago. I guess I couldn't blame her. She never got to see the side of Nicole I got to see.
"It's good to see you too, Steven." Nicole smiles at him and Steven nods.
Steven notices Taylor is uncomfortable. "It's nice to see you too but Taylor and I have some unfinished business with Beer Pong. Excuse us." He winks and takes Taylor away.
I look back at Nicole with an awkward smile. "Sorry."
Nicole laughs and shrugs. "She hates me, it's okay."
I laugh. "No, it's not like that."
"You're a terrible liar, Belly. She totally hates me." Nicole talks with her drink in her hand. "I don't blame her."
We both laugh then sip our drinks awkwardly.
"So, what's new with you?" Nicole asks me all cheerful. "We have so much to catch up on!"
"Well, I graduated and I'm staying at the beach house for the summer." I smile. "And you?"
"No way!" Nicole hugs me. "I'm down for the whole month. We'll have to get together."
"Totally!" I say as we let each other go.
"So, how is Conrad?" She sips her drink. "And Jeremiah?"
I press my lips together, looking back at her. Her question catches me off guard.
"Oh my god." She shakes her head, apologetically. "Forgive me, Belly. I figured you and Conrad were still a thing. I mean the way he looks at you... I just figured. Sorry." She laughs nervously.
All of a sudden, a guy comes up behind Nicole and he plants kisses on her neck. They were cute together.
"Hey!" Nicole giggles at him then turns to me. "Belly, this is my boyfriend. If you couldn't tell."
"It's nice to meet you." I laugh.
"Oh you're one of the Fishers right?" He looks at me and Nicole shakes her head at him.
"Oh." I hesitate. "Um, I'm a Conklin but we share the same beach house."
He nods then looks at Nicole. "Well, I hate to interrupt but Gigi is drunk and requesting your presence."
Nicole laughs and kisses him then smiles at me. "Well, it was nice to see you, Belly. I'll see you around this summer."
"You too, Nicole." I smile back.
I watch the two of them walk away together. They hold hands, giggling and it reminds me of the way Conrad had held my hand after our kiss last night. I feel sick to my stomach and I walk away to get some air. I see Taylor and Steven playing Beer Pong with other couples and I decide to not disturb them. I wander to a quieter spot in the back and find a swing set to sit on. I had to admit Clay's backyard had a nice view but it still wasn't as great as ours. I take out my phone as I swing and I see a text from Conrad. I take a deep breath before I click on it:
Conrad:
Where are you?
My heart races as I read his text. I look back at the party happening behind me in the backyard. Had he shown up after all? I consider texting him back then I ultimately decide to stuff my phone back into my pocket. I watch the waves on the swing alone for awhile, thinking about what had happened between us. He didn't get to pick me up and set me down whenever he wanted.
"Hey." A familiar voice approaches from behind and his hands cover my eyes. "Guess who?"
"Clay?" I say, feeling startled.
Clay uncovers his hands from my eyes and sits in the swing next to mine. "You win." He laughs then he offers me the beer in his hand. "Here's your prize."
"Oh, no thanks."
"A pretty girl like you shouldn't be drinking alone." He winks. "Take it."
"I can't. I'm the designated driver tonight." I nod.
"Can't you just call an Uber?" Clay laughs.
I shrug and turn to watch the waves. I can feel his eyes on me again and I don't like it.
"You know." He smiles. "I've always thought you were one of the cutest girls in Cousin's."
He leans in closer and his breath smells like beer. I keep my distance with him.
"Then why didn't you make a move?" I roll my eyes, looking away.
He was obviously drunk. It was no secret Clay slept with everyone. This was probably a line he used to get with girls.
Clay snorts. "Have you met Conrad? He can be pretty intense." He drinks the beer he had offered to me.
I sigh. Why was everyone bringing up Conrad tonight?
"What does he have to do with anything?" I shake my head. "He's not my brother, you know."
"Uh oh. Tension in paradise?" Clay teases me, nudging his shoulder against mine. "And I know he's not your brother. Nicole says you two are a thing." He was prying.
I look at him then look away. "Well, we're not."
"That's a shame." Clay moves in closer. "But I can't say I'm surprised he fumbled you. Conrad sucks."
I don't say anything. I just keep my eyes on the waves. I wasn't in the mood.
"I like talking with you, Belly." Clay slings an arm around my shoulder. "You're really cute."
I watch the waves feeling a little uncomfortable under his touch. He was being really touchy but I knew it was only because he was just drunk.
"By the way, I did make a move on you once." Clay winks. "I invited you to that one bonfire, remember?"
It was true. It was the night I had met Cam Cameron. I laugh at the memory. "I do remember that."
Clay laughs too. "Then you probably remember how much of an ass Conrad was that night. He's always been protective of you, Belly. Everyone knows that."
"That's not true." I sigh. Everytime someone was bringing up his name tonight my heart was hurting.
"It was kind of weird actually. He always claimed you were like a sister yet marked you as his own territory. Pretty fucking weird if you ask me." Clay downs his beer. He slurs his words.
I think about his words as I watch the waves and Clay suddenly moves my hair behind my shoulder. I turn to look at him. His cold fingers made me shiver as he traced my neck.
"But Conrad's not here to stop us now, is he?" Clay moves in closer until our faces are inches apart. He was drunk and had gotten the wrong impression. I immediately pull away.
"Oh, sorry-" I start to stutter but Clay just laughs.
"You're so cute, Belly." He smiles, touching my hair again.
"I don't want to kiss. Sorry."
"Relax." Clay leans in closer. He uses the arm he has wrapped around my shoulders to bring me closer to him. His other hand finds my leg and it starts to trail up.
I look down at his hand on my leg then back at him, our faces inches apart. "What are you doing?"
"Come on, Belly." Clay laughs and starts to kiss my neck. "Don't be a prude."
"Clay, I don't want to-"
He tries to kiss me on the lips this time and I immediately turn my head away so he can't. "I don't want to kiss you, Clay."
The hand that is around my shoulder forces me closer to him as his other hand begins to trail up my inner thigh. I didn't like how forceful he was being. He was really drunk and his kisses were sloppy.
"Clay, stop. You're drunk." I whisper, feeling frozen.
"You know you like this." Clay's hand moves up to my breast. And suddenly, I don't feel frozen. I start to panic. He knew what he was doing - drunk or not. This was every girl's worst nightmare.
"Clay." I'm assertive this time as I try to break away from him. "I said stop!"
"No." Clay laughs, trailing kisses down my neck as he squeezes my breast. It hurts.
"Now be the good girl Conrad says you are and do what I say." He whispers into my ear and I feel like I can't breathe.
"Get off of me!" I yell and finally break away from him on the swing.
"Leave her alone." A voice growls from behind us.
I turn around to see someone walking up to us. I feel a sense of relief. Steven or Jeremiah had come to save the day but as the face comes into view, I see that it's Conrad.
Clay slings a hand around my shoulde. "Speak of the devil. We were just talking about you, Conrad."
"I said leave her alone." Conrad repeats, looking straight at Clay. The look in his eyes scared me.
Clay laughs. "And why should I listen to you?"
I look behind Conrad. Luckily the live music was so loud we weren't making a scene and we were far away enough in the backyard that no one was close enough to see what was going on. But it also scares me to think what would have happened if Conrad hadn't shown up. No one would've heard me. Clay would've had his way with me. I have to close my eyes and shake the thoughts away.
"Belly, let's go." Conrad says. I stand up from the swing and Clay stands up with me. He grabs my hand and sways. He was really drunk now. Drunk enough to think he could stand up to Conrad. This wasn't going to end well.
"Clay, let go of me." I whisper.
"No." Clay says then turns to Conrad. He points his beer at Conrad. "Conrad can find his own girl tonight."
"Take your fucking hands off of my girl." Conrad demands and I look at him in shock.
"Your girl?" Clay laughs, looking at me then back at Conrad. "Belly said you're not together."
Conrad looks at me and I look down. I start to pull away from Clay, feeling disgusted and he grabs my hand tighter.
"Where do you think you're going?" Clay says.
"Clay, stop. You're hurting me." I wince. He was really drunk.
It all happens so fast. As soon as the words come out of my mouth, Conrad is in front of Clay. Something in him snaps. He shoves Clay to the ground and Clay stumbles backwards. He tries to stand up to get back at Conrad but he is too drunk. Clay finally finds his balance and stands up to Conrad.
"What's your fucking problem, man?" Clay shouts in Conrad's face. I can see spit flying.
"You." Conrad growls.
Clay laughs at him swaying. "You think you're so tough, don't you?"
"We're leaving, Clay." Conrad turns his back to him and looks at me. "Let's go."
Clay suddenly grabs Conrad by the shirt and he tries to punch him but he fails miserably. Conrad turns around and his fist meets Clay's face. I cover my mouth with my hand as I watch Clay fall backwards. I look at Conrad towering over him. He was protecting me. I had never seen this side of Conrad before. Was this the protective side Clay had been talking about?
"If you ever lay a hand on her again." Conrad grips Clay's collar on the ground as he towers over him. "I will kill you." He lets go of his shirt collar and drops him.
"Get off my fucking property." Clay spits blood on the ground. "Before I call the cops."
Conrad just laughs at him. He knew Clay was bluffing. If Clay called the cops, he'd get in trouble for all the underage girls he had invited. The cops would shut down his party. Conrad just scoffs at him then walks over to me and takes my hand.
"Let's go." Conrad says and for once, I don't argue with him. My brain was still in shock from what had just happened.
Steven, Jeremiah, and Taylor are nowhere to be seen as Conrad guides me back inside and walks me out to his car. I keep my head down. I was sure I looked like a mess. A mascara stained mess. When we get to his car, Conrad opens the car door for me and helps me get in. I'm too tired to fight him. He walks to his side and gets into the driver's seat. We sit in silence for what felt like a long time.
"Are you okay?" He looks over at me.
I keep my eyes forward and slowly nod. I couldn't find my voice.
"Belly..." Conrad whispers. "Please look at me."
I turn to look at him and he looks into my eyes. "Are you okay, Belly?"
I slowly shake my head as tears begin to stream down my cheeks. No, I wasn't okay.
He reaches out to dry my tears. "I want you to know this wasn't your fault, Belly."
I look down, nodding.
"I should have been there for you." Conrad shakes his head, looking back at the steering wheel. "Who knows what would have happened if..."
I close my eyes at the thought and we sit together in silence. But it didn't happen because of him. I look over at him with an appreciation in my heart I had never felt before. Conrad was always there when it mattered.
""Thank you..." Tears fill my eyes as I look over at him. "Thank you for helping me, Conrad."
His face softens as he looks at me. "Come here."
I unbuckle my seatbelt then I lean across the passenger seat so he can hold me in his arms.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Isabel." He repeats over and over again as he holds me and I cry in his arms. The part of me that was mad at him this morning slowly begins to melt away. It was hard to stay mad at him when he was there for me like this. No one had ever been there for me the way he was. It was impossible to stay mad at him. He made me feel it all.
"How about we go home?" Conrad whispers, holding me.
I sigh as I sit back up in my seat. "I promised I would be the DD tonight."
"I'll take care of it." Conrad says. "I'll text Steven. Let me take you home."
We drive the rest of the way home in silence. No radio. No talking. Nothing. When we pull into the driveway, I see there are still lights on inside. My mom and Cleveland were still awake. I didn't want to face them right now. And I'm sure the mascara stains on my face would raise some questions. Conrad reads my mind right away as he looks over at me.
"Want to go somewhere?" He whispers and I nod without hesitation.
He pulls back out of the driveway then he speeds away. He offers to buy me something to eat but I wasn't hungry. I didn't care where we were going. Anywhere was better than that stupid party. We go on a drive then he surprises me when he pulls into the drive-in movie. It was still in the exact same spot all these years later. I almost laugh at how much it hadn't changed.
"Really?" I look at him. "The drive-in?"
He puts the car into park and looks at me. "Wait here." He says as he unbuckles his seatbelt.
He gets out of the car and walks away. I turn to watch the movie. I needed an escape. I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts. We had arrived halfway through the movie so I was completely lost with the storyline but I kept watching it anyway. I lean my head back as I watch the classic film in black and white. It reminds me of something Susannah would have liked.
Minutes later, Conrad comes back with two drinks in his hands.
"Here." He hands me mine. He knew me well. It was my favorite. Cherry Coke with a straw.
"Thanks." I sniffle after I take the first sip.
We watch the movie and sip on our drinks together in silence. Somehow it was making me feel better. This whole drive in movie wasn't such a bad idea after all. I'd always loved that about books and movies - the way you can just escape especially after nights like this. We both finish our drinks then set them in the cupholders at the same time. His hand hovers above mine then he slowly reaches for it. Our fingers interlace and I let him hold my hand. We keep our eyes ahead on the movie and don't say a word to each other as we enjoy the rest of the movie. We both laugh at the funny parts and I tear up at the ending. He doesn't let go of my hand as we watch the rest of the movie. Eventually, the credits start to roll and I realize I don't want to leave.
"Thank you." I look at him. We were still holding hands and it was comforting. "This was nice."
Conrad nods and is quiet for a moment. Cars start to leave and we both don't move as we stay, watching the screen.
"I'm sorry for being so shitty this morning, Belly." Conrad finally apologizes to me. "I really am."
"Was it because of Adam?" I look at him wanting to know the truth.
Conrad looks at me with surprise. He didn't know I knew Adam was in town.
"Jere told me at the party. He said they went fishing." I explain and Conrad looks away.
I study his face for a moment.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" I whisper.
Conrad sighs. "Adam's just an ass. That's all."
"Then why was my mom so upset this morning?" I dig for more. "She looked like she had been crying."
Conrad just shrugs. "Laurel's never been Adam's biggest fan."
"What are you keeping from me?" I stop holding his hand and face him. "What are you not telling me, Conrad?"
Conrad closes his eyes. "Belly..."
"Just be honest with me." I shake my head. "Did you mean anything you said to me last night?"
Conrad looks at me. "Every word."
"Then why are you acting this way?" I look at him. "Please don't shut me out again."
Conrad looks at me with a pain in his eyes. It looks like he is about to say something. And that's all I needed from him. Words. For him to say something. Anything. But I guess that was expecting too much from him because he looks away and starts the engine.
"It's been a long day, Belly." He says. "We can talk about this tomorrow."
I shake my head at him, feeling the tears build up behind my eyes. I was tired of the back and forth. I was tired of the games. I was tired of it all.
"No." I say. "I'm sorry but I can't do this." I get out of his car and slam the door behind me.
Most of the cars had left by now and the drive-in movie cart lot was empty. I hear a car door shut behind me and I know it's Conrad following me.
"Belly, you're not walking home alone at this hour." He says, his voice catching up to me.
"You're not the boss of me."
"Belly, get in the car. We're not doing this right now."
"No."
Suddenly, Conrad catches up to me and throws me over my shoulder. I was wearing the wrong outfit for this. I try to pull my shorts down to cover my thighs as he walks me back to the car.
"Conrad, put me down." I beg him.
"No." He says.
"Conrad!" I raise my voice. "Put me down!"
He finally sets me down when we reach his car. I fix my hair then glare at him. He surprises me by how close he is. He was standing right in front of me with both hands on either side of the car, looking right at me. I was trapped under him and I can feel my heart pumping.
"Do you know where we are?" He looks into my eyes.
"What?"
"Do you know where we are?" He repeats his question.
What was this? Whatever game he was playing, I didn't want to play.
I sigh. "Yes, Conrad. We're at the drive-in movie. I'm not drunk."
"No." Conrad's eyes search mine. "Do you know where we're standing?"
He takes his hands off of the car and I take a good look around us. It looked like the same old dusty lot to me. I look up at him and he has a strange look on his face.
"Recognize this spot?" He orients me so I'm facing the screen now. His hands don't leave my waist.
I almost laugh. "Should I?"
"This is the exact spot I ruined your first date." He says behind me. I look at where his car is parked and where we are standing. It was true. This was the exact spot he had crashed my first date with Cam Cameron. It makes me laugh and touches my heart as I watch the credits roll.
"Ever since that night, I've wanted to be the one to take you here." Conrad watches the screen next to me. "I was too young and dumb to admit it at the time but I was out of my mind jealous that night."
Conrad lets out a breath. "I'm sorry, Belly. I really am. This isn't how I wanted today to go. I wanted to take you to breakfast, hold the door open, do all of those thingsâ I can't change how the day started but I can change how it ends."
I turn to look at him and he takes out his phone. He puts on the song we danced to at the Debutante Ball then sets it on the hood of his car. He holds out a hand to me and I stare at it.
"Can I have this dance?" He asks me and I can't help but laugh as I take his hand.
He spins me around in the drive-in movie parking lot and it's one of the most romantic things that has ever happened to me. We both mess up some of the Debutante dance moves and I can't help but think that this was how I imagined our Prom. It may have been a few years late but I had finally gotten that slow dance with him. This might have been better than any stupid high school or college dance anyway. At the end of the dance, he dips me and kisses me like I wish he had the night of the Debutante Ball. We both straighten up, holding each other's arms for dear life.
"You make it so hard to stay mad at you, Conrad Fisher." I laugh, shaking my head at him. "You're the most confusing human I've ever met."
"Am I?" He smirks. "Let me make some things clear then."
He pulls me into him and we kiss again. I can't help but blush.
"I've never stopped wanting you." Conrad whispers against my lips. "If anything, our time apart has only made me want you more. There is no one like you, Isabel Conklin."
He kisses me then twirls me around and I'm under his spell. He pulls me back into him again.
"This isn't how I wanted our first date to go." He laughs. "But I have to admit I'm having a nice time."
"Honestly, this is one of the first best dates I've ever had." I smile. "Thank you, Conrad."
He smirks and places his arms around my waist. I keep my arms wrapped behind his neck as we slow dance with our foreheads touching. We both had our eyes closed, perfectly in sync.
"This is our Prom." I smile without opening my eyes. I just know he is smiling too.
"I think this is better than Prom." He says.
"Really?" I laugh, opening my eyes. "What about that dress? It really was something."
"I never said I didn't like the dress." He twirls me around again then pulls me back into him. "I just like this better."
"Me in short shorts and you in your jeans?" I laugh and he does too.
"No." He shakes his head. "I mean I like the real Belly. The one that has a bandaid on her ankle. The one with freckles. The one who swims like she's in the olympics." He taps my nose.
"And I think I like the real Conrad." I cock my head at him as we dance. "The happy one."
"I'm the happiest when I'm with you."
We keep dancing in the dark and I look up at the stars. It was such a beautiful night in Cousin's. You could always see every star this close to the beach. It was turning out to be a good night.
"Venus is still an evening star." I smile at the sky.
I can feel his eyes the entire time as I stargaze. When I finally look back at him, the way he is looking at me makes me forget everything else in the world. He is looking at me like I'm the only girl in the world.
"Feeling hopeful?"
"Yeah." I smile, admiring him and memorizing this moment. "I am."
"Belly." He looks into my eyes. "I-"
"Hey!" Someone interrupts us, shouting from the drinks stand. We both look over at them. "It's time to go home, lovebirds. We are closed down for the night. Take care."
Conrad and I both look at each other then laugh. We both hold hands as we walk back to the car. As we drive home, Conrad puts on a song his mom used to love. It was the song we played during the all-nighter with Steven and Jeremiah. "Last Nite" by The Strokes. I roll down his car window and scream the song at the top of our lungs. Conrad just shakes his head at me and right when I think he is about to make fun of me, he joins me. He keeps his eyes on the road and sings it with me. It was the happiest I'd seen him in a long time. His long eyelashes hitting his cheeks as he laughed and sung with me. I fall for him right there all over again. When we get back to the beach house, the lights are off. Steven's car is still gone. Conrad and I hold hands as we walk up stairs. It felt just like it had last night - like we were the only two people in the entire world.
"So..." I squeeze his hand and look at him. "What were you going to say at the drive-in before we were so rudely interrupted?"
He laughs and just kisses me. My heart flutters. I think I knew what he was going to say but I just wanted to hear him say it.
"I think you already know." He whispers as he looks at me.
I feel the same urgency as last night to hug him and never let him go. "Will you... stay with me until I fall asleep?"
Conrad looks at me for a moment and I watch his face fall.
"I don't think I should." He finally whispers. I knew he was trying to be considerate of Laurel and everyone who was here. He was always trying to do the right thing but right now, I wanted nothing more than to feel close to him.
"Can't you just not be a good guy for once?" I tease him.
Conrad laughs. "You sound like Taylor."
"She said she talked to you last night." I look at him. "What did she say?"
"Well, she said the pact on not going back to your first love is already broken since she broke it first." He laughs. "I still think she secretly hates me though."
"I don't think anyone could ever hate you, Conrad Fisher." I say as I trace his hair and he smiles at me. He looks so much like young Conrad in that moment.
"Goodnight." I say as I steal a kiss from him and I close my door, leaving him standing there in the hallway. I had done it on purpose with the hope he would come back for more.
Later that night, he does. My bedroom door opens and as soon as I hear it, I know it is him. In my heart, I just knew it. He slowly shuts my door and I feel my heart race.
"Come here." I whisper, holding out my arms and Conrad joins me on my bed.
He doesn't get under the sheets with me. He lays on top of my comforter instead and I loved him for it. Conrad was sweet to me. A true gentleman. Something I hadn't appreciated until I had dated other men or run into guys like Clay. We lay facing each other with our faces inches apart.
"What made you change your mind?" I smile and hold his hand.
"I missed you." He says and circles his thumb on my hand.
It felt nice. It felt like another dream. Too good to be true.
"Thank you." I whisper as I close my eyes. "Thank you for everything."
We fall asleep like that, holding hands and facing each other. I always dreamed about what it would be like to sleep next to Conrad. I had always expected fireworks or doing things but I wasn't expecting to feel so much at ease. I wasn't expecting it to feel like we had been sleeping like that our whole lives. Something about his presence made me feel safe. My heart was home.
Conrad:
She lays her head on my chest in her sleep and I wrap my arms around her to hold her. I gently caress her hair. I was holding my entire world in my arms and I realized in that moment I would never love anyone as much as I loved her. Some people like me are lucky enough to find their person at a very young age. There was just something different about her that I would never find in anyone else. She was everything I could ever want or need. She made me a better man. Love is scary but when it comes to a girl you've known your whole life it's not. I had known it was her all along.
When she reaches a deep sleep, I quietly get up to leave. I knew it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with Steven or Laurel. I knew we were much older now but it was still Laurel's rules at the house. When I reach her door, I pause and look over at the angel sleeping. It was so hard to leave her. Maybe one day we wouldn't always have to say goodbye. I smile at the thought. Maybe the dreams I'd been having would finally come true. I tuck Junior Mint into her arms and she stirs in her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Beautiful.
"Belly?" I whisper.
She was sound asleep which was gave me the courage to say it. To say what I had said so many times only what I was feeling now was a million times stronger. I say what I almost said at the drive-in movie. She had once told me "Conrad, there's only you. There's only ever been you" and little did she know I had held onto those words for years. It gave me hope.
I watch the sleeping beauty intently in front of me and feel so many things at once.
"It's always been you, Belly." I shake my head in awe of her. "I've always been in love with you."
Author's Note: Thank you all for the sweet messages and for being so patient as you've waited for this chapter. Sending so much love your way.
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