Chapter 16
September
Two Weeks Later
I had always been the kind of person who believes in miracles.
The kind of person who believes in true love. The kind of person who believes in fate. The kind of person who believes that no matter what everything will work out in the end. And I had always prided myself on that. I was an upbeat kind of person. The kind of Volleyball captain that leads their team to win. The kind of girl who never gives up. But after that final night in Spain I wasn't sure who I was or what I believed in anymore. Losing Conrad was like losing a part of myself. The girl I was before was gone and I wasn't sure if I'd ever get her back.
It changed me forever.
As the summer came to an end, I was taking as many shifts as they would give me at The Country Club to keep myself busy and to save up as much money as possible. It was better than being alone at the beach house with all of my thoughts. All of the memories.
"Hey, B." Alli approaches me as I'm untying my apron in the back kitchen. We had just gotten done working double shifts. "Someone's out front asking for you."
"I'll be right there." I nod.
"He said his name is Jeremiah."
My head snaps up.
What was Jere doing here?
Then it dawns on me. I still hadn't responded to his text. The one he had sent me the final night in Spain. I had been too occupied with other things that night.
Alli reads my face. "Want me to tell him you're busy?"
"No, that's okay." I shake my head. "Tell him I'll be out in a second."
Alli nods, pressing her lips together then she walks away without saying another word.
I change out of my work clothes in the bathroom and I mentally prepare myself to face Jeremiah. Him showing up to my work out of the blue could only mean one thing. He thought I had known about the Adam situation and that I was ignoring him. I guess by the looks of it I had been ignoring his texts since Spain but not on purpose. The summer was nearly over and I knew I couldn't stay at the beach house for much longer so for the past two weeks, I spent most of my time working and saving up. Because if I didn't that's when reality would catch up with me.
Jeremiah is sitting at a table near the door when I approach him. It was the same table Conrad had been sitting at when he surprised me here a few weeks ago. I have a knot in my stomach as I approach Jere and when he sees me, he immediately stands up.
"Hey." I greet him. "I-I wasn't expecting you."
"Can we talk?" Jere looks at me. His voice sounds like he is on edge.
"Sure." I nod.
I follow him outside, fearing the worst. It's crowded out front so I follow him to the parking lot. When we get to his car, he unlocks it and we both sit in awkward silence inside of his car. I wait for him to say something but he doesn't. Somehow the silence felt like a form of punishment.
I close my eyes. "Listen, Jere. I'm really sorry about everything."
"Don't be." He says to my surprise and I open my eyes to look over at him.
"I'm not pissed about Spain." He looks off into the distance. "Well, not anymore. Steven told me everything that happened." He finally looks over at me. "I know you didn't know about Adam either."
Relief washes over me as I realize he isn't mad at me after all.
Then it hits me. "Wait, so Steven knows about Adam too?"
Jere sighs. "Yup."
I look down. I wonder if Conrad knew that.
"I didn't come here because to yell at you or because I'm mad at you, Bells." Jere starts. "I just don't understand why you've been ignoring me."
"I'm not. I mean, I know it looks that way. I've just been working a lot-" I cut myself off because it just sounds like I'm making excuses. I guess I was because a part of me hated that not only had I let down Conrad but I had let down Jeremiah too. I decide to apologize to him instead. "I'm sorry."
Jere looks down. "I know."
"How are you doing with all of this?" I swallow. "I know it can't be easy."
"Honestly? I don't even know if it has fully sunk in yet." He says. "I'm more so just mad at myself."
"Why?"
"Because Conrad was right." He looks at me then he looks out of the window. "He's always right. I mean, I knew Adam was never going to win father of the year but I just never thought he would take it this far."
Jere rarely called his dad by his first name and it hurt my heart to hear it. That's how I could tell he was really hurting.
"How-how did you find out?" I whisper, feeling sorry for him. "About Adam?"
"I overheard him talking to the lawyer on the phone then I confronted him about it."
"Oh wow." I was taken aback. "I'm really sorry, Jere."
"The worst part is I really thought I could change his mind this time." He looks down, shaking his head. "I tried to convince him to not do this to her but I couldn't get through to him. I never do. Conrad's right. When will I grow up?" He puts his face in his hands.
"Don't say that. There is still time, Jere. Adam will come around just like he did with the beach house. He has to."
"I don't know, Bells. It was really bad. I've never fought with my dad like that before." Jere starts to tear up then he sits up, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry I'm talking to you about this. I just feel like I'm alone and I guess that's why I showed up here. I don't know who else to talk to-"
I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad you came, Jere. And you're not alone. You have Steven. You have me. My mom. We're all here for you. We're family."
I could tell that meant a lot to him because after Susannah passed, I knew Jere felt like their family had shrunk. She had taken all of the magic and love with her. She had been their glue.
"Conrad hasn't been returning any of my texts or calls." Jere whispers. "So I called Steven and he told me everything. I didn't know your mom had asked Con to keep things quiet or I would have never texted him all of that. I just thought this was another epic time where he was trying to do everything alone and not burden anyone."
Jere looks over at me with tears in his eyes. "Am I a shitty brother?"
"No."
He looks down. "I feel like one."
"What-what did you say to him, Jere?" I was surprised I had enough courage to ask him.
I knew I had only seen a few of his texts to Conrad. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see the rest of them.
Jere's jaw clenches. "Enough to make him not want to talk to me."
I leave it at that and nod quietly, not making eye contact with him.
"I bet you're thinking I'm a shitty brother now."
"No. I just think everyone is dealing with this in their own way. You both have a right to feel the way you do."
Jere sighs. "You know how he is. Conrad just bottles everything up until he explodes and I don't think he has anyone. And I'm sure the last person he wants to talk to right now is me but he can't fight Adam alone. I won't let him and Laurel do this alone-"
"Just give it time." I look at him and he looks at me. "He'll come to you. I know he will."
Jere starts to cry. "And if he doesn't?"
"He will. You are brothers. Nothing will ever change that."
He was on the brink of tears so I reach for him. I could tell he could use a friend right now. Jeremiah cries into my shoulder as I hug him. It was times like these I wish my mom was here. She would know what to say. She would have the right words. She would know how to make all of this go away.
"I'm really sorry about all of this, Jere." I whisper as I hug him. "And I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you but I'm here for you now. And I promise everything is going to work out. Just like your mom said it would."
He hugs me tighter and I let him get it all out. Then as he starts to calm down, he pulls away.
"Have you heard from him?" He wipes his tears as he looks at me. "Is he okay?"
"I wouldn't know. Sorry." I look down.
So Steven hadn't told Jere everything. He must have left out the part where Conrad and I weren't talking.
Jere studies my face and I can tell he is about to ask me about Conrad but I interrupt him before he can. We couldn't spend the rest of the day of the day like this.
"You know what sounds good right now?" I tilt my head.
Jere looks at me.
"Ice cream on the boardwalk."
It gets a laugh out of him and I'm grateful. "Really, Bells?" He wipes away more tears.
"Come on." I shrug. "Why not? It's summer."
He laughs. "I don't know."
"You know you want to." I tease him. "We're in Cousins. It's tradition."
Jere sighs as he looks over at me then he starts the car. "Alright, fuck it."
After we get our ice cream, we walk around the boardwalk together. It was late afternoon and it was the perfect way to beat the heat. It was sort of funny to think about the last time we had been here together we had been engaged. In some ways, it felt like a lifetime ago and in other ways it felt like it was just yesterday. A past life forever lost at sea.
"So how is Tay Tay?" Jere jokes as we walk. "Is she being a bridezilla?"
I laugh as we lick our ice cream. "Jere, it's only been like two weeks since they got engaged."
"I'm sorry I don't know how wedding planning works." Jere snorts. "I'm a guy, remember?"
"Yeah, how could you?" I roll my eyes. "It's not like you've ever been engaged or anything."
Jere gives me a look and I just laugh it off.
"Ouch." Jere puts a hand to his chest in defense then he laughs too. "Well, I'm happy for them. Steven and Taylor are a sure thing."
"Yeah, they're really great together." I smile, licking my ice cream cone.
"So, how is Laurel?"
"With wedding planning?" I raise a brow. "Or with the whole Adam thing?"
"I don't know." He shrugs. "Both, I guess?"
"She's happy for them. Taylor has always been a part of our family. Now it'll just be official. And as for the whole Adam thing, I don't know anymore than you do. I know Cleveland put them in touch with a really good lawyer but my mom doesn't know that I know. Not yet."
Jere nods then says, "Laurel probably hates Adam as much as she once hated me."
"She never hated you?"
"Laurel wanted to kill me." He shoots me a look and we both laugh.
And it feels good to laugh about it like it was all behind us now.
"She wanted to kill both of us." I nudge him with my shoulder, licking my ice cream. "Mostly me."
"It's kind of funny, isn't it?" Jere pauses. "Being here when the last time we were here together, we were engaged."
"Yeah." I nod. "But it's also kind of nice. Like it's all in the past now."
"Yeah." Jere smiles as he licks his ice cream cone too.
"Besides, Susannah said we'd always find our way back to each other eventually."
Jere nods in agreement and we leave it at that. We take a moment as we enjoy our ice cream.
"So how is your new job?" I change the subject. "Don't think I didn't notice your new ride." I wink.
He laughs. "Did Steven tell you I got a promotion? I paid for that baby all by myself."
"Wow, Adam finally cut you off huh?" I tease him.
Then I worry that the Adam joke wouldn't land right because of everything going on but Jeremiah just laughs at my sarcasm. He never took anything too seriously.
"You're lucky we grew up together or I would steal your ice cream right now." He winks.
"Yeah right! You hate this flavor!" I nudge him again and we both laugh.
We continue to walk around the boardwalk as we catch up on each other's lives. It was nice. Jeremiah and I hadn't been able to talk like this in a long time. I had my best friend back (well, besides Taylor). I tell him about the Country Club. He asks how Cam Cameron is and I laugh telling him he is off living his marine biologist dreams according to Denise. He tells me about his new life in the city and his new promotion.
It was weird to catch up as adults. We had spent a majority of our lives together. Sure, we had watched each other grow up over the summers but when you know someone your whole life it's like they stay a certain age in your head. You remember them in a certain light. Jeremiah for me would forever remain that curly-headed boy who danced like nobody was watching and who played cards with me when I caught a summer cold. My best friend. My JereBear.
"Alright, so what now?" Jere asks me when we're throwing away our ice cream.
"Wait, are you staying the night?"
"Is that a problem?" He laughs.
"No. It'll actually be nice to have company at the beach house. I hate being alone there."
He hesitates. And by the look on his face, I get the feeling he is about to ask me about Conrad again but I think fast. I put my hands up to my head as if I'm trying to read his mind aka our ESP.
"Alright, what does Jeremiah Fisher want for dinner tonight?" I say with closed eyes and he just laughs at me, crossing his arms waiting.
"Hmm." Then I open my eyes. "He wants pizza. Yup, you want pizza with pineapple!"
He laughs. "Damn! You're good, Bells." Then he throws an arm around my shoulder. "I'll pay."
Conrad:
I'm in Cousins and it's snowing. It's picture perfect like a postcard.
Almost as perfect as her.
We hold hands the entire way down to the beach. It's freezing but what I feel for in my heart keeps me warm. She is laughing like a kid with messy hair and we take a selfie before she drags me by the hand closer to the water. We are the best versions of ourselves tonight. We hold hands and laugh as we spin each other around and chase each other with snowballs like the summer kids we were at heart. It is a night that becomes one of my top moments instantly. I had never seen anything or anyone more beautiful in my entire life.
How did I ever get so lucky to call her mine?
We lay down on the snow and hold hands. We look over at each other, smiling.
"Conrad?" A distant voice interrupts.
Suddenly, I'm falling through the snow of Cousins Beach as if it's quicksand. I reach for her and she reaches for me but it's too late. Our hearts are ripped away from each other. She looks sad.
"Conrad!" I hear the voice again.
I slowly gain consciousness. I wake up to someone knocking on my bedroom door.
"Conrad, wake up dude." Nate laughs from behind the door. "We're going to be late."
I sit up in my bed then I check the time. Shit. If I didn't get up now we would be late. It was my turn to drive us. Nate and I were both doing subinternships at the same hospital. Mine was in oncology surgery. His was in orthopedics. We worked on different floors due to the nature of our specialties but we liked to carpool to save money. Medical school was expensive enough.
"Good morning, sleepyhead." Nate jokes when I enter the kitchen after a quick shower. I nod as I make my way over to the coffee maker. I lean against the counter in my scrubs as it brews.
"So Agnes invited us to a party tonight." Nate chews a protein bar. "You down?"
"Maybe." I lie. The answer in my head was already no.
Nate laughs as he eats. "At least try to sound interested."
"Parties have never been my thing." I shrug. "You know that."
Nate takes a second. "I'm not sure anything is your thing anymore, man."
I look at him. What was that supposed to mean?
"You know, that is like the third time you've snoozed your alarm in like two weeks right? You never sleep in." Nate eyes me. "You good man?"
"We're in medical school. It happens." I turn my back to him as I pour the coffee into a mug.
"You know you can talk to me. I've offered you solid advice in the past." Nate teases.
I shrug as I drink my coffee. "There's nothing to talk about."
"Right. Or we don't have to talk about it." Nate nods sarcastically, backing off. "That's cool too."
"Cool." I repeat back.
"You can be such an ass sometimes." Nate laughs, rolling his eyes.
We both share a laugh and it feels good. It felt like I hadn't laughed in two weeks. Nate was arguably the best roommate I'd ever had. We were complete opposites but he was surprisingly tidy and he never pushed me to talk about things which was nice. We had a nice understanding of each other. I would surely miss him one day when the time came to move away.
"I know how you can make it up to me though." Nate winks. "You can come to the party tonight."
"Can't." I auto reply. "Need to carve out time to study for the USMLE Step 2."
"Okay, first of all that's all you ever do besides rotations." Nate laughs. "And second, that's too bad. I already told Agnes's roommate you're coming. The one who has a fat crush on you, by the way."
This was the part of Nate I didn't like. I didn't need him to play matchmaker. I shoot an unsatisfied look at him as I drink my coffee.
He shoots me a look right back. "What? You can't mope over her forever."
I down the rest of my coffee. "I'm not moping."
"Really?" He tilts his head. "Then why haven't you changed your screensaver yet?"
He was referring to the picture Belly and I had taken in Spain. I was kissing her cheek in it and I hadn't brought myself to change the screensaver yet. I guess it just felt too soon.
Nate sighs. "Look, man. I get it. Break ups are tough." Nate shakes his head as I rinse out my mug. "But eventually you have to move on. A party might just be the place for you to do that."
"I think a party is the last place to do that actually." I mutter under my breath.
"Don't be a party pooper." Nate laughs. "Just think about it alright? You need to get out more Conrad. This could be good for you. It's not like you've got any other plans." He trails off.
"If I consider it, will you stop lecturing me?"
"That's the Conrad I know!" Nate jokes. "Come on slowpoke, we can't be late!"
Nate was right. For the past two weeks, I had been a sleep-deprived shell of myself. As busy as I was with everything she still found ways to creep back into my mind. My heart. My dreams. I rarely slept through the night anymore because when I did sleep that's when I saw her. And it was just painful reminders of what I couldn't have. I thought my dreams of her would stop after Spain but they only grew more frequent. My dreams weren't safe anymore. And sometimes they weren't dreams at all but rather memories. Our top moments. Happy ones. Dusty and forgotten. This whole time I thought we had something that couldn't be defined. An invisible string tying us together no matter what but the string had been cut for good. And I was mourning that.
I wasn't sure who I was before her. We had always been connected. We had always been a part of each other's lives in one way or another but now that she wasn't a part of my life anymore I was struggling to find who I was without her. Who I was after her.
"It had to do with Adam, didn't it?" Jeremiah asks me on the way back to the Country Club to pick up my car.
I had been looking out of the window admiring the water. I was going to miss it here. I knew the summer was practically over and I would have to leave Cousins soon. I would have to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and it all felt so confusing, lonely, and daunting.
"What?" I look over at him, realizing he had been waiting on an answer to a question I hadn't payed attention to.
"It had to do with my dad, didn't it?" Jeremiah looks over at me before looking back at the road.
"What had to do with your dad?"
"The reason you and Con aren't talking."
I look back out of the window. I wasn't sure what to say to him. It felt weird to talk to Jeremiah about him or us.
"You've been dodging the topic of him all day. What the hell happened between you two, Bells?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Of course it does." He says and I look over at him.
"Jere, we don't have to do this. It feels weird to talk to you about-"
"I think it's more weird to ignore the elephant in the room." He looks at me.
I sigh. "There's nothing to talk about. Trust me."
Jere is quiet for a moment then he looks at me. "Well, I'm always here for you, Bells. I hope you know that."
I knew he meant every word which makes me smile. "Thanks, Jere. Ditto."
We pull up to The Country Club a few minutes later.
"Thanks for this." He says before I get out of his car. "It's been really good to see you, Bells."
I smile at him. "Well, the night is still young. I'll see you at the beach house?"
He laughs. "See you soon. And I may order pizza on the way. I'm starving!"
I laugh. "Sounds good to me."
I hop out of his car and shut the door. As he drives away, I hear someone call my name. I turn around to a pleasant surprise by the name of Cam Cameron.
"Hey, stranger." Cam says as he walks up to me and he sounds the exact same. But he looks different. Like he had grown an inch or two taller and he had facial scruff.
I laugh as we embrace for a moment. "Cam!?"
"Surprise." He pulls away.
I laugh again. "It's so good to see you. And wow, you are super tan!"
"That's what spending all of your days at sea gets you." He laughs then he nods at Jere's car driving away. "Was that Jeremiah?"
"Yeah."
"How is he?" Cam clears his throat. "How are they?"
I feel a small jab in my gut. I quickly nod. "Yeah, they-they're good. They're really good."
"I hear Conrad is almost done with medical school. " Cam sounds genuinely interested which makes it all so much worse. "Susannah would be so proud of that kid."
"Yeah." I nod. "What about you? I hear you're living out your marine biologist dreams!"
He laughs. "Yeah, I guess all of those nerdy whale books came in handy after all."
I laugh. "They sure did."
"So what's new with you?" He smiles. "I hear you're my mom's best worker."
Denise said that? That was kind of her. I smile.
"Well, I graduated. And now I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life." I nod and we both laugh.
I felt like I could be honest with Cam which was refreshing. He wasn't judgemental. Not in the way my mom or Steven could be about my future.
"So are you living in Cousins now?"
"Um, I was." I nod. "Only just for the summer."
"Aw, I'm sure my mom will be sad to lose you." He nods. "She's always in need of good help."
I smile. "Thanks. She's been really good to me."
A girl walks up to Cam moments later and she gives me a look as she takes his hand in hers. That's when I see the beautiful rock on her finger.
Cam looks at her then back at me awkwardly. "Um, Belly. Meet Grace. My fiance. Grace, meet Belly. An old friend."
"Hi, Belly. Nice to meet you." Grace nods then she looks at Cam. "So how do you two know each other?"
Cam hesitates and I step in for him. "Oh, his mom gave me job at The Country Club. I work here." I point towards the building.
Grace's face relaxes. "Oh. Well, I'm jealous. That sounds like a fun job!"
"It is." I smile. "So how did you two meet? Congratulations!" I nod towards her ring.
"We met on a boat then he proposed to me on the same boat two years later." She giggles.
"When you know, you know." I smile.
Cam nods and it's awkward for a moment.
"Well, I better get going." I nod. "But it was good to see you and it was nice to meet you, Grace. Enjoy your night."
"You too." Grace smiles.
When I get into my car, I don't leave right away. I watch Cam and Grace hold hands as they walk up the doors of The Country Club. He holds the door open for her then kisses her on the cheek before they slip away inside. And all I feel for them is pure happiness. At least someone was getting a happy ending. If anyone was deserving of it, it was Cam Cameron.
On the drive back, I take the long way home. I figured Jere wouldn't mind. He had probably already ordered the takeout pizzas. One pepperoni pizza and one pineapple pizza with two large cokes. I was feeling nostalgic after my afternoon with Jere on the boardwalk and after running into Cam. It had been a weird day to say the least. Growing up wasn't for the faint of heart.
I drive along the water with my windows down. I soak in the sun with my hair flying out of the window. My time in Cousins was winding down and I knew it. Eventually, I would have to leave. I would have to find my own place and move on to start a new chapter. The summer was practically over. But there was a part of me that wasn't quite ready to leave it all behind me yet. The part of me that was still hanging onto the magic of this place. Still hanging onto him.
I have deja vu as I watch the kids play on the shore as I drive along the water.
That used to be us. Steven. Jeremiah. Conrad. Me.
Where had the time gone? I wasn't ready to grow up. It's funny how we spend most of our childhood wishing we could be old enough to do all of the things that we want to do but then when we finally get there, we wish we could go back and tell ourselves what we know now.
If I could go back to that little girl, I'd tell her to make the most of it. To really make it count.
How do you say goodbye to such a magical place?
How do you evict someone from your heart?
Maybe you don't. Maybe you carry them with you inside of your heart. The part where summer lives. The part where he lives. They were one and the same. Maybe you force yourself to move on until the day comes where you don't have to fake it anymore and you've made peace with it.
The song Deja Vu by Olivia Rodrigo plays on the radio as I drive back to the beach house:
Car rides to Malibu
Strawberry ice cream
One spoon for two
And trading jackets
Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you
(Ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha)
Watching reruns of Glee
Being annoying
Singing in harmony
I bet she's bragging
To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm
So when you gonna tell her
That we did that, too?
She thinks it's special
But it's all reused
That was our place, I found it first
I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you
Conrad:
Nate drags me to the party later that night. As soon as I walk in, Nate makes a beeline for Agnes and they start kissing right away. I walk into the direction of the kitchen to grab a beer but it wasn't like I was going to get drunk or anything. I wasn't planning on staying for long.
"Conrad." I hear a voice approach me a few minutes later.
I turn around to see that it was Agnes's roommate. The one Nate kept trying to hook me up with. We had never held an actual conversation. I felt like a dick for not even knowing her name. I had seen her around at the lab this past summer but we had never really talked.
"I don't think we've properly met." She smiles with a drink in her hand. "I'm Kate."
I'm Conrad." I nod.
She laughs. "I know. We worked at the same lab this summer, remember?"
"Sorry." I laugh, feeling kind of bad. "I'm just tired. In fact, I might head out soon."
"But you just got here? You should stay! Nate is going to need a beer pong partner!"
"Yeah, I think he'll be just fine without me." I nod over in the direction of Agnes and Nate playing beer pong outside in the front yard.
Kate laughs. "Right." Then she turns back to me. "So what are your plans after medical school?"
It was a painful question because all of my plans had been centered around one thing that wasn't mine anymore.
"Not sure." I shrug. "You?"
"Not sure either. I'm pretty open." She smiles.
Then she says, "So are you seeing anyone? I was wondering if-" She gets interrupted by a girl who runs up to her and hugs her. The girl is very drunk but Kate seems to recognize her. Kate turns towards her. "No way!! What are you doing here!?"
I take it as my opportunity to leave. Kate was a nice girl and all but I wasn't looking for anything.
I walk outside. I avoid Nate and Agnes as I squeeze through the crowd. When I get to the sidewalk, that's when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I take it out to see Steven's name. We still hadn't talked since Spain. He had tried to call me earlier but I had been at the hospital. He picks up on the first ring. I knew I couldn't ignore him forever and I'd rather talk to him than be at this party.
"I was starting to think you were ignoring me, Fisher." Steven jokes on the other end.
He always knew how to make me laugh. "Sorry, I've been at the hospital all day."
The crowd cheers as someone epicly loses at beer pong.
Steven laughs. "Are you-are you at a party?"
I laugh. "My roommate dragged me. I was just about to leave."
"Hey, I wasn't judging." He laughs and I do too.
"So how are you?" I ask him after a moment. "How's wedding planning?"
I knew it was a loaded question. He was probably still pissed at how I left things with Belly. But that didn't mean I didn't care. I had missed talking to Steven and I still was his best man after all.
"It's been pure bliss. We're the happiest we've ever been."
"I told you she wouldn't say no." I tease him and he laughs.
Then he is quiet for a moment. "So how are you? I haven't heard from you since you left Spain."
There it was. I knew it was coming. I feel a familiar ache in my chest.
"Good." I reply. "Busy but good."
"So I have something to tell you." Steven hesitates. "But it can wait if you're busy tonight-"
"I'm not busy at all." I say. "What is it?"
The beer pong crowd cheers again and I have to plug my other ear to hear him.
"You sure, man? I can catch you later." Steven says.
"Yeah, I'm sure-"
"Conrad?" Kate spots me and starts to walk over towards me. Shit.
Steven hadn't heard her. "Okay, well there are two things I have to tell you actually."
"Hey, Steve. Let me call you back-" I start to say but it was too late. Kate walks up to me before I can get the words out.
"Thank god, I was starting to think you'd left without saying goodbye!!" Kate laughs as she approaches me then she tilts her head. "Who are you talking to?"
Steven is quiet for a moment and I knew he had heard her.
"Who-who's that?" Steven asks me.
Shit.
"No one." I reply fast without thinking about Kate standing right in front of me. She looks down, feeling hurt.
"I'm going to let you go." Steven hangs up.
I lower my phone from my ear to apologize to her for what I said but before I can open my mouth, she beats me to it.
"No one?" She looks at me.
"I'm sorry-"
"You know what?" Kate just laughs at me. "Save it. Agnes was right. You are a waste of time." She walks away shaking her head with her drink in her hand.
When I get to my car, I call Steven back right away. To my surprise, he picks up on the first ring and I automatically knew what he was thinking. But didn't he know me better than that?
"What do you want?" Steven answers.
"Steve, I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what? For leaving my sister heartbroken in Spain or for flirting with another girl at a party two weeks later?"
He had a point. I could see where he was coming from. But he had gotten it all wrong.
"I'm sorry about Spain." I close my eyes. "And I'm sorry for tonight too. My roommate has been trying to set me up with his girlfriend's roommate for two weeks. That's all that was. I swear to you-"
"Yeah, yeah. I know." Steven sighs. "That's not who you are. I know."
"I would never do that to Belly."
Steven sighs. "I have to say you make it pretty hard to stay mad at you, Fisher."
We're both quiet for a moment.
"And I also know you're not over my sister." He says.
"What makes you say that?" I whisper.
"Like I said I know you." Then he laughs. "And that girl was practically throwing herself at you and you left her to come call me. I think that says a lot, don't you think?"
I'm quiet for a moment.
"How-how is she?" I look down. "Is she doing okay?"
"She's working a lot." Steven says. "Taylor says she's keeping herself busy I guess."
"Did she find work in Philly?"
Steven sounds confused. "No, she's still working at The Country Club."
She was still in Cousins?
Belly had told me she was going to leave Cousins after the summer and after our big fight in Spain I was sure she'd move right back into Laurel's. To start a new chapter and to avoid running into me.
"Oh, I thought she was moving back home with Laurel after the summer or something."
"I don't know." Steven pauses. "Why don't you ask her yourself?"
I look down. "She doesn't want to hear from me-"
"I'm not talking about calling her." Steven scoffs. "I'm talking about going to her."
I'm quiet as I take in his words.
"She's not happy, Conrad. And quite frankly, you're not happy either."
"It doesn't matter whether I'm happy or not. She made her decision-"
"Yeah and her decision was to go after you." Steven interrupts me.
I blink. "What are you talking about?"
"She let you walk away then she came crying to Taylor after you guys got into your big fight. Then by the time I told her you left, she went looking for you but it was too late. You were already gone."
"What?" I whisper.
"I've never seen her like that, Conrad. Not even over Jeremiah." Steven says. "And yet I'm still rooting for you. Don't make me regret that."
I couldn't believe it. Belly had come after me?
I start to tear up and I clasp a hand over my mouth.
I imagine a distraught Belly running through the airport in her dress and heels. I imagine her checking every gate just to be disappointed. And I feel like shit for it. I feel sick. No. That couldn't be right. Could it?
This news changed everything.
"She came after me?" I think out loud.
"Yeah." Steven whispers. "She did. She tried to text you but your phone was off. I think you were already on the plane but I didn't have the heart to tell her that."
And that's when the tears start to fall. I knew Steven could hear me crying but he doesn't say anything. He just sits with me like I sat with him the night of the accident when Taylor had been in the hospital.
Then he finally says, "She loves you, Conrad. She really really really does. And I tried to tell you that that night in Spain." He laughs. "Do you believe me now?"
I laugh through my tears and that's when my adrenaline kicks in. That's when I sit up straight and I wipe my tears away. I transfer Nate money and text him to get an Uber. I figured it was the least I could do since I wouldn't be around to be his sober driver tonight. And I figured it would help make up for the Kate situation. Then I start the engine and grip the steering wheel with a new sense of hope. A new sense of purpose. I take a deep breath.
"I'm going after her." I exhale. "I'm going to Cousins."
"Wait." Steven says. "There's something else you should know."
Then he takes a deep breath.
"Jere's in Cousins too. He called me freaking out because he hadn't heard from you. So I told him everything. That you didn't intentionally keep the Adam situation from him and that my mom asked you to keep it quiet because it's a legal matter. He knows the truth. He knows this is Adam's doing."
"How-how did he find out about Adam in the first place?"
"He overheard him talking to his lawyer then he confronted him about it. It was bad, Con. Jere said he's never fought with Adam like that before."
"How bad?" I feel a strong need to protect my brother.
"Bad. Adam wasn't backing down so Jere just left. They haven't spoken since."
Jere wasn't talking to Adam? That was news to me.
"Belly texted Taylor that Jere showed up at her work but she said he is doing okay. He just felt alone and he had no one to talk to." Steven hesitates. "Look, I know this isn't ideal but I really think for Susannah, you two need to come together. All of us do. You have to talk to him, Con."
"I don't know. He made it pretty clear he wants nothing to do with me."
Jere had sent me some angry texts in Spain and I wasn't looking for another fight with him when we had just made up. But I also knew Steven was right. I couldn't ignore him forever. Not when our father was trying to challenge our late mother's will.
"Yeah, that was before I told him what happened." Steven says. "Jere feels like shit for what he said to you over text. Trust me."
"Maybe I should wait." I sit back in the driver's seat. "I'm not sure if the three of us alone in the beach house is a good idea right now."
"It's your call but I really think you'll regret it if you don't go."
I hear Taylor's voice in the background. "Is that Conrad?"
Steven nods and she holds her hand out for the phone. Steven hesitates then eventually hands her his phone.
"Hey, it's Taylor." Taylor answers.
I prepare for the worst. I stay silent. I knew she was going to chew me out and I knew she hated me again after Spain.
"I know you're there Conrad." She says.
"Yeah." I look down. "I'm here."
"I overheard everything." She purses her lips. "And I just want to ask you one thing?"
"Okay."
"When I asked you where you saw yourself in ten years during Belly's birthday on the beach, what was the first thing that came to your mind?"
It was a strange question. It wasn't what I had expected her to say at all. It was maybe the last thing I had expected Taylor Jewel to say to me. Because she already knew the answer. The first thing that had come to my mind was Belly.
"I saw your eyes flash to Belly that night, don't even try to deny it." Taylor says.
"I'm not."
"And when I asked how many times you'd ever fallen in love? What was the answer?"
Once. That had been my answer. I had told Belly that later that night.
Taylor sighs. "Fine, I'll answer for you. Once."
"Taylor." I hear Steven say in the background but she waves him off.
"No, I'm serious!" Taylor says into the phone. "You promised, Conrad. You promised that you wouldn't break my best friend's heart. That you would take care of her. And you're breaking that promise by staying away from her! This is not at all what Belly wants. She poured her heart out to me that night in Spain. She loves you! And you love her! How many times are you guys going to do this?! It's exhausting. I have to plan a wedding. I don't have time for this shit." Taylor says it all in one breath and I hear Steven laugh.
Steven takes the phone back. "Alright, alright. He gets it. I mean, you do get it, right? Please say you do or she'll go off again."
Taylor laughs. "Oh please! You love my advice. You even watch Dr. Phil reruns with me."
"Taylor!" Steven says and Taylor just laughs.
A smile forms on my lips as I listen to them bicker. "I get it."
"Then go get your girl, Fisher." Steven smiles.
Taylor laughs in the background. "And screw Jeremy!"
"Taylor." Steven throws her another look. "Okay, peanut gallery. You're done!"
"What?" Taylor laughs. "This is Bonrad's moment. Not Jellyfish."
"Jellyfish?" Steven and I whisper.
Taylor groans. "Ugh, okay! You two just don't get it. I'm out." She walks away.
Steven and I both laugh.
"I should get going." I smirk. "I have a long night ahead of me."
"Talk to you soon, man. You got this. Just think of it as Plan Belly 2.0!"
I laugh. "Got it. Gotta go. Talk to you soon."
I drive back to the apartment to pack a quick bag for the weekend then I hit the road. I drive all through the night. Usually after my rotations and subinternship, I was physically and mentally exhausted. But right now, I had never felt so alive. I had never felt so energized. I had never felt so awake in my entire life. It was exhilarating. The amount of love I felt for her was more than enough to fuel this entire car. To light up the city of Cousins. More vast and infinite than all of the stars in the sky. I smiled up at the sky as I drove. Venus was still an evening star. It gave me some kind of hope or something.
And what gave me even more hope was she had come after me.
She had loved me enough to fight for us.
And nothing or no one would ever come between me and my girl ever again.
Author's Note:
Hi friends! Thanks for reading yet another chapter.
I hope you thoroughly enjoyed it and just know there is plenty more where that came from coming soon!