Chapter 28: No Steps Forward, Ten Steps Back

Shinichi woke that evening feeling only marginally better, an ache in his head signaling mild dehydration. He blinked a few times, allowing the grogginess to linger a few moments before noticing a figure sitting at the edge of the bed. He frowned and blinked a few more times.

Heiji was seated on the edge of the bed, scrolling through his phone. He hadn't yet noticed that he had an audience. For some reason, the small teen wasn't ready to alert the other, so he lay still, watching through half-lidded eyes.

Heiji was looking for something on his phone, and if the growing frown was any indication, he wasn't finding whatever it was that he wanted. After a few minutes, Shinichi's curiosity got the better of him.

"What're you doing?" he said, voice hoarse with a dry throat. Heiji jumped, startled at the unexpected noise, before looking down at Shinichi with unmasked concern.

"You okay? Do ya need some water?" He reached over to the nightstand where a bottle of water stood waiting. He handed it to Shinichi as he was sitting up.

"You didn't answer my question," said Shinichi even as he gratefully accepted the drink. Heiji grimaced down at his phone.

"… There's somethin' I've been thinkin' about," he admitted. "Only I think I should wait to tell ya, 'specially seein' as how I can't find… well… yeah…" He frowned at Shinichi as he turned his phone off and tucked it away in a jacket pocket. "You need t'talk to the other Kudo first, I think."

Shinichi sorely wanted to tell Heiji to spit out whatever he was keeping to himself, but stopped. He knew from experience that Heiji wouldn't change his mind once it was made up, and he was still too emotionally drained to attempt to argue. He nursed the water and contemplated what it could possibly be. He glanced anxiously at the bedroom door.

"You've already seen him?" he asked quietly. Heiji nodded.

"Didn't really talk to 'im, at least not fer very long." He grimaced at whatever he remembered. "Long enough t'know you two need to talk, anyway." Shinichi sighed, absently rubbing his eyes. He just wanted to go back to sleep. At least then he could pretend everything was just one long, vivid nightmare. Heiji seemed to sense his reluctance.

"If ya dont' talk to 'im, I'll just keep my thoughts to myself," he warned, waving his now dark phone in between them. Shinichi scowled and weighed his options.

"… Fine," he grumbled, quickly realizing that Heiji wouldn't threaten him that way if he didn't think the information was important. "Is he awake, too?" Heiji shrugged.

"Dunno. Want me t'check?"

"… No. No, I'll… I'll go."

Shinichi sluggishly slid off the bed, rubbing his still tired eyes as he did so and absently noted he wasn't wearing his glasses. Heiji had probably taken them off. He would have looked for them, but suddenly felt tired of the disguise. There was no need for him to be Conan, he decided, and would confront the other Shinichi as himself without the poor excuse for a disguise.

With more confidence than he felt, he walked out of the room and down the hall. He halted in front of the guest room, paused, then knocked. He opened the door, not bothering to wait for a reply. The other him wouldn't care; if he wasn't' asleep, he was probably staring at nothing while contemplating recent events. Or trying not to comprehend them.

He entered the quiet room. Not-Shinichi was sitting on the bed, staring desolately at the far wall. He made no indication that he'd heard Shinichi come in, prompting the smaller teen to cautiously walk up to the bed.

Dark circles rivaling his own ringed the clone's eyes, the orbs themselves red-rimmed and glassy. Without looking down at Shinichi, he spoke.

"She's gone."

"Yes."

"Because I woke up instead of her."

"… Yes."

Not-Shinichi buried his face in his hands.

"Why did I wake up?" he asked no one in particular, voice a shaky whisper. Shinichi looked down at his slippers.

"I don't know," he said quietly. He kept his gaze fixed downward, hiding a scowl. "But I do know that despite how it looks, that's Ran's body. Until we figure things out, I expect you to take care of it."

The clone winced, but nodded silently after a few moments. They remained in awkward silence for a while before Shinichi cleared his throat.

"Right. And… when your head feels better, maybe in a few days, I could really use your help going over my notes on this case." He hated admitting that, almost as much as he hated admitting Ran was gone.

"… Why? We're… we're the same, have the same thought process—what could I possibly add that you haven't already figured out?"

"You're a fresh set of eyes," Shinichi snapped, attempting in vain to ignore the icy feeling settling in his chest at those words. "Right now, I think that's what we need."

The other Shinichi didn't look at him, remaining silent for a few moments before hoarsely whispering an answer.

"Alright."

Shinichi nodded in satisfaction and managed to force out a dull "get some rest" before turning to walk back out of the room. He paused at the door.

"You're wrong, you know," he said quietly over his shoulder. "We're not the same." He left that statement hanging in the air, and shut the door with a false calm.

As soon as the door was closed, he took a shaky breath and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, wishing more than ever he could go back in time to stop all of this mess from happening.

Heiji was waiting for him in the doorway to his bedroom, leaning against the frame as he was wont to do. He didn't say anything, just jerked his head towards the stairs in a silent question. Shinichi glanced between his room and the stairs, then gave in with a sigh and a nod. A look at the clock told him it was past suppertime, but he wasn't hungry anyway.

Heiji followed him down the stairs and into the living room, watching as Shinichi hopped onto the couch and buried his face in his hands.

"… I take it ya didn't really clear the air between you two," he said with a restrained sigh.

"Not really, no," came the quiet reply. "That's…. going to take some time."

"Fair enough," Heiji said with a shrug. Shinichi could feel the hesitation in the Osakan's gaze, so he decided to speak first.

"So what was it you were puzzling out when I woke up?" he asked with a weariness to his voice he couldn't mask. Heiji came to stand behind the couch and looked down at Shinichi grimly.

"D'ya remember when we interviewed those people on yer list?" he asked in a low voice. "And ya figured that from an outside perspective, Kudo Shinichi was the one who came back?" Shinichi frowned, nodding slowly.

"Yes… What about it?"

"Well that means—from an outside perspective—Neechan never came back like the others did."

Shinichi blinked, slowly sitting up as that revelation sank in. From that perspective, everyone who went missing came back two weeks later… except for Ran. No clone showed up to take her place—why hadn't he recognized that? Technically, she was still missing.

"You're right," he whispered, mouth dry. This was important. Why was it important? He was missing something. He looked up at Heiji, much more alert now. "Is that what you were looking at? Did you find anything?"

"Just that she never turned up, alive or dead."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" snapped Shinichi, feeling the icy hand of dread tighten its grip on his heart.

"'Course not!" came the mildly offended reply. There was no heat in it, though, so Shinichi surmised Heiji was attempting to lighten the tense atmosphere. "I was just pointin' out that fact."

Shinichi forced the nausea that threatened to consume him back down, reminding himself that Ran wasn't actually missing. Everything would be fine given enough time for Haibara to do her work.

There's not another Ran, he told himself resolutely. I don't know why, but there's still only one Ran, even if she's not herself right now. It was a small consolation, but one that eased his anxiety a fraction.

That did pose a major question though. Why hadn't a clone of Ran shown up in the first place? Did it have something to do with the fact that Shinichi hadn't even been kidnapped, or was there an unrelated reason? He frowned to himself as the new revelation spun complicated webs of whys and what ifs in his mind.

"What do you think?" He asked quietly, thankful for the new, if concerning distraction. Heiji shrugged, looking very frustrated.

"I dunno," he growled, mussing his hair irritably. "I can't tell if she's the first or not, since we wouldn't know anything' about the people who went missin' but didn't come back. Now all missin' persons're suspicious—or, I guess, more suspicious—and there's nothin' we can do about it."

Shinichi nodded slowly, the gravity of the new dilemma sitting on his shoulders like lead.

"Shit," he muttered, holding his head. The beginnings of a migraine pulsed behind his eyes. "I'll need to monitor all of the traffic footage—see if maybe I can find a pattern to help narrow down cases." He heaved a tired sigh. "I wonder how much school I can miss before it starts to look suspicious…"

Heiji let out a mirthless chuckle and walked around the couch to sit next to Shinichi. He sighed and glared up at the ceiling.

"Y'know… with as much shit as you go through, ya'd think there'd be an end to it." He absently scratched his cheek, grimacing as he recalled past events. "This's definitely the worst, though. I'm not sure I can think of anythin' that might even come close to toppin' this, so… I guess when this's fixed, everythin' else'll be a walk in the park."

It was a nice thought, but not one Shinichi planned to dwell on. It didn't help the issue at hand.

"Anyway, with that said—if ya wanna send me some of the saved footage, I can help ya sift through it. Just tell me what to look for." Shinichi inclined his head in a silent "thank you."

"I can't…" he swallowed, mouth dry. "I can't think properly right now, so I'll start sorting the saved files tomorrow." Before he could say more, his phone rang. He pulled it out and stared blankly at the screen for a few moments before answering.

"Haibara?" His voice wavered as hope sparked in his chest.

"Kudo-kun, get over here. I need to run some tests on you."

Shinichi frowned. "On me?"

"Yes. There's something I need to verify. Don't make me wait too long." A click signaled the abrupt end of the conversation. Shinichi stared dazedly at the wall, then sluggishly slid off the couch.

"Did the little Neechan find somehtin'?"

"I don't know. Maybe," he answered as he mechanically shuffled towards the door. Any hope he might have felt was drowned out by the bog of despair he was lost in. Heiji followed quietly behind, and if he noticed Shinichi's continued misery, he didn't show it.

The professor's house had never felt so far away.

Haibara was waiting for him just inside the door, impatiently tapping her foot. The moment he stepped inside, she grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the lab, barely giving him enough time to kick off his shoes.

"Yer in a hurry," muttered Heiji, mild surprise tinging his voice. "Y'do know it's past supper time, right? Dontcha need t'go to school tomorrow?" Shinichi suppressed a scoff at his hypocrisy.

"Don't you?" rebutted the little scientist. "This is much more important than repeating the first grade." She opened the lab door and pulled Shinichi to a large machine in the back corner.

"What's this even about? Did ya find somethin' or not?"

"Possibly. I need to check something first, and then I'll hopefully be able to answer that question sometime tomorrow."

Shinichi and Heiji exchanged bewildered glances. Why would she need him and not the clone? Unless it was something like the DNA comparison she'd done when Ran first came back…

"Sit down," she said, pointing to a seat attached to the strange machine. "This shouldn't take long." Shinichi hesitantly complied with a small frown.

"Is this one of the professor's? I've never seen this one."

"Yes, I had him modify some designs from existing medical equipment a while back to suit my purposes," she said idly while checking the settings. "Now hold still." Shinichi nervously complied. Agasa's inventions were typically hit or miss, the latter being the norm most of the time. On the other hand, since this one was made using preexisting blueprints, it was probably fine. Right?

As he was mulling over those thoughts, the machine whirred to life around him, breaking him out of his reverie. Heiji eyed it dubiously before asking,

"Didja use this on the other Kudo?"

"Not yet," she admitted somewhat absently, her eyes glued to a small monitor on the side of the machine. "I'm currently working with the data we already received from the hospital. I do plan to do some more thorough testing with him; but while he's recovering, the hospital records will serve cursory scrutiny."

Shinichi managed a quick glance at Heiji just in time to witness him pulling a sour face, probably at the no-nonsense, "don't speak to me" tone of voice Haibara was prone to using even when she wasn't working. She did try to tone it down around the children (with limited success), but to Heiji it probably sounded like she was looking down on him.

To his credit, the Osakan bit back any sarcastic replies he likely would have used in a normal situation.

"And before you ask, I have used this on Ran-san, shortly after she came back." She paused in her work, a far-away look glazing over her eyes. "I wasn't sure it was necessary at the time, but…"

Now it may be a major clue, thought Shinichi, satisfied that at least something was in their control. He didn't feel any less anxious, but it was something.

After several minutes of sitting absolutely still, and with Agasa's machine blessedly showing no signs of impending explosion, Haibara finally switched the thing off. Shinichi desperately wanted to ask if she'd gleaned anything from watching the machine's monitor, but abstained. She had already said she would have the results by morning. Heiji cleared his throat, drawing everyone's attention to him.

"So…" he began, looking from Haibara to Shinichi. "I think it's pretty clear ya need some sorta story…" The two shrunken teens exchanged confused looks.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Haibara. Heiji grimaced.

"Well, I kept Kudo outta school today so no one would question his attitude when his 'cousin' supposedly woke up," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But he can't keep missin' school, and one day obviously isn't enough ta get his emotions in check—no offense, Kudo." Shinichi rolled his eyes, but couldn't refute the facts.

"You do have a point…" said Haibara, tapping her chin in thought. She looked between Shinichi and the now blank monitor before answering. "We'll tell the truth."

"WHAT?!"

"Calm down and let me explain, Kudo-kun," she snapped. "It's a half-truth, anyway. We'll say he woke up, but lost his memories. It's not the whole story, but it's true enough that the other you has no knowledge beyond the cultural festival. And it would explain your not being very happy despite his being awake."

Shinichi sighed at how absurd the situation had become, but decided to go with Haibara's story. Another half-truth added to the ever-growing web of lies and other half-truths.

"… Fine," he grumbled, and glanced at the machine. "Are we done here?"

"Yes," came the cool reply. Haibara had already turned back to her computer and was swiftly typing something into the command prompt. "You can leave, Kudo-kun. I don't' need anything else from you."

Shinichi slid out of the seat without a word and silently made his way out of the lab, Heiji following close behind.

"D'ya think she'll actually find somethin'?"

Shinichi stopped walking at the question. He paused and debated on whether or not he should stay at the professor's or go home.

"… I think," he started slowly, sweeping a hand through his hair, "it's very possible. She wouldn't have tested on me like that otherwise. Whether or not what she finds is useful, however…." He trailed off, leaving the taller teen to fill in the gaps.

Heiji hummed thoughtfully as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Guess we'll find out," he said with a dissatisfied scowl. He hated not knowing. Given the circumstances, Shinichi hated it, too.

"I guess we will," echoed Shinichi somberly as he looked at his house from Agasa's window. I guess we will.