Learning to open up may have Sydney feeling lighter, but Tig's divulgence inadvertently cuts the thread of ignorance that has been struggling to hold the crushing weight of his past.

General trigger warnings for this story: Language, smut, mentions of rape, abuse, drug use/overdose, violence/death, racism/gang activity.

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CHAPTER 22: CATCH 22

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"Where do you wanna stay, baby?" Tig asked Sydney as they buckled their helmets while the engine of his Dyna roared to life below them.

"Hmmm..." Sydney hummed as she pressed herself against his back, slowly sliding her body up his until her lips reached his ear. "I want you to take me to a cheap motel, and fuck me like a dirty whore." She grinned.

Tig grimaced as the filthy words left the pretty lips that attached themselves to his ear lobe, his pants instantly feeling two sizes smaller. "You know, you make me look modest..." He shook his head.

"Yeah, I do..." She scoffed. "You gotta keep up that reputation, Sergeant. People might think you've gone tame, and we wouldn't want that, would we?" She raised a brow.

Tig chuckled as he shook her off. "Sit that ass down, and hang on." Regardless of the wrench that she'd thrown into his dominance, his reputation wasn't going anywhere as long as he had something to do with it.

Sydney smirked, doing as she was told as she wrapped her body around his like a second skin, resting her hands on his belt buckle. "Tight enough, Tiggy?"

Tig sucked in a breath as her over-exaggerated innocent voice flooded his ears, willing himself not to bend her over the damn bike right there as he pulled away from the beach.

After a short drive down the beach town's main street, they pulled into the parking lot of a motel not far from the boardwalk. The run down building was close enough to the ocean that they could hear the crashing waves as they strolled across the pavement, hand in hand towards the check-in booth where Tig placed a few bills on the counter.

"You sure this is okay?" He asked skeptically as they climbed the rickety stairs up to the second floor, unlocking the door to the dingy motel room. He didn't give a shit where he slept - the mediocre room was better than most of the beds that he'd slept in over the years - but he didn't believe that the high maintenance woman standing next to him could possibly feel the same.

"I told you." Sydney scoffed, pushing past him. "You think too highly of me." She walked straight over to the bed and flopped down onto her back.

"Alright." Tig chuckled, placing his keys down onto the table by the door. "I'm gonna go grab us some beer." He nodded towards the liquor store next door.

"Hurry back." She cooed seductively with an evil smirk on her curled up lips.

Tig grumbled as he pulled the door shut, dreading whatever temptation he would be faced with when he returned. He'd wanted nothing more than to take her in every way imaginable, and holding back was killing him, but if there was anything that he'd learned about Sydney - it was that she loved a good power struggle, and this game was the best way to keep her focus off of the bullshit that the last week had dealt her.

Sydney took the time that he was gone to scope out the room, and find a new tactic to get him to cave. She located the TV remote, deciding that she would go with something more laid back - knowing that he was now expecting more from her. She'd eyed the large tub in the bathroom during her stake out, briefly pondering switching up her strategy by taking a bath with the door open, but she decided that she would save that one for tomorrow.

Tig returned a few minutes later with a six-pack, and a jumbo bottle of wine; opening the door to see Sydney sitting on the bed, cross-legged and paying attention to the TV as if her life depended on it. He scowled, looking from her, to the source of her focus - which was an old school porno playing on the large box TV.

"You makin' plans without me, angel?" He asked with a raised brow, trying to keep the smirk off of his face.

"Just tryin' to plan my night, baby. But it seems like you had other plans..." She glanced down to the plastic bag in his hand.

"Yeah, turn that shit off." He nodded to the TV, quickly brushing off her surprisingly weak attempt to seduce him as he unloaded the bag. "Got some of that girly shit you like." He held out the wine.

"It's called rosé ." She drawled theatrically with a giggle, quickly getting to work popping the cork before taking a hearty swig.

"Guess I didn't think to get a glass..." Tig looked frantically around the cheap motel room, knowing that it would only be equipped with the absolute minimum.

"I ain't complainin'." She chuckled at his concern as she took another sip.

Tig smiled and reached for the TV remote, surfing the channels for the most unromantic, unexciting, PG rated movie that he could find - eventually settling on Saving Private Ryan.

"Ugh, Tiggy… Come on!" She whined. "The porn was way better than this." She pleaded with a studious pout as he stood next to the bed where she was kneeling.

"What's the matter, babe?" He chuckled. "You don't like a classic war movie?" He sat down on the edge of the bed and kicked off his boots, getting himself comfortable for the evening.

"Oh no, I love a classic war movie. What I don't love is Saving Private Ryan." She wrinkled her nose.

"What?" He exclaimed, offended as he whipped around to face her. "Saving Private Ryan is the war movie."

"Fuck no it's not! Band of Brothers, Pearl Harbour, Behind Enemy Lines, Full Metal Jacket." She listed a few. "All better than this pansy shit. You just don't get out enough." She turned up her nose and flipped her hair over her shoulder to add to the dramatics.

Tig responded with a knowing stare and a smirk as he set the remote down on the nightstand next to him. It was her turn to suffer through a movie the same way that she had made him suffer through the same damn Marvel movie, over and over again.

"I'll remember this..." She let her eyes linger on him before finally turning her head to focus on the TV. "At least it's half over."

"It's on again after this." He replied casually as he kicked his feet up and sat back against the headboard.

"Ugh." She groaned, burying her face into a pillow where she laid for a few seconds. "Well." She perked up, lifting her head and rising to her knees, grabbing the beer out of his hand and setting it onto the nightstand as she straddled his hips. "Guess that means that we have time to kill before it starts." She smirked, grinding herself down against his pelvis.

Tig smirked, smoothing his hands up her denim covered thighs and humming deep in his throat. "Think you've been patient enough?" His hands travelled over her hips and up her waist before snaking up her back, to the nape of her neck where he yanked her down and held her just above his lips.

"I've been a good girl today, Sergeant." She whispered with an innocent nod as she hovered over him.

He brought her even closer to his lips, halting right before they met as he flipped her onto her back, a gasp of excitement slipping from her lips when the scratchy motel sheets made contact with her skin. She closed her eyes when he began leaning in again, but they quickly flew open when his lips brushed against the sensitive skin on her jaw, instead of her lips.

"Not good enough." He smirked, playfully nipping at her neck before pulling away and resuming his previous position in front of the TV. She just rolled her eyes, swiping the bottle of wine off the nightstand next to her and gulping it back.

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Jax's sneakered foot tapped over the smooth pavement of the roof where he sat with a cigarette between his lips as he took in more of his father's words, allowing them to further confuse him, but unable to stop. It was like each word seemed to soothe the storm in his brain, but churn the waters in his stomach - speaking to every subconscious thought that he had ever had about the life that he was to live. He knew that it was only making things worse, but he couldn't stop himself from absorbing his father's worries, almost like it was in his blood...

The first time I read Emma Goldman, it wasn't in a book. I was sixteen, hiking near the Nevada border. The quote was painted on a wall in red. When I saw those words, it was like someone ripped them from the inside of my head.

He nodded along as he always did as his father's voice recited the poetic verbiage, something telling him that he would soon be making a trip to Nevada.

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"Drink!" Sydney hollered as she pointed at the TV, bouncing in place.

"No way, that wasn't a headshot!" Tig protested just as loudly as his body jolted up from where he had been leaning against the headboard.

Sydney had decided that if she was going to have to suffer, she might as well have fun with it - having turned the boring movie into a drinking game. Two noise complaints, a case of beer, and a litre and a half of wine later, the first showing of the movie had ended and they were thoroughly drunk as they powered through the first half of the second one - thanks to her generous game rules.

"Was too!" She stuck her tongue out at him before chugging more wine. "You just don't wanna drink, you pussy." She slurred.

"Gimme that." He growled, grabbing the wine from her where he gulped down the last of it.

"Now you drank it all." She pouted, holding onto her feet in her cross-legged position, laughing when she fell over onto her side.

Tig laughed hysterically as she rolled around the bed. "Okay, okay. You're off the hook now." He reached for the remote once they finally reached the point in the second showing of the movie, where they had initially started in the first one.

"Thank God!" She kicked her arms and legs out in victory, almost hitting him in the face in the process, which only sent her further into her state of hysteria.

"Not much else on." He stated after he finished laughing, shutting off the TV and tossing the remote across the bed in defeat.

"As long as you can't pick." She chuckled, looking over at him from where she'd settled on her back. "You know... We could make our own movie."

"There's an idea..." He chortled nonchalantly as he watched her eyes fall closed when she didn't get the answer that she'd wanted, smiling as he watched her begin to nod off - feeling his own eyes getting heavier.

"See! You are a pussy." He was startled awake by her voice.

Sydney laughed when his eyes flew open and tried to refocus in the dimly lit room. She stood from the bed and stretched her arms above her head before ripping off her top, getting to work unbuttoning her jeans.

"W-what're you doing?" Tig choked out, his eyes popping out of his head when she abruptly began shedding her clothes.

She looked over her shoulder at him as she slowly slid her jeans down her legs, bending directly over. "Well, I don't got any clothes to sleep in." She shrugged.

He coughed a few times, trying to gain his composure, but not having the strength to take his eyes off of her as she got completely naked before grabbing at the corner of the duvet and crawling underneath it.

"You gonna sleep in that?" She asked casually, eyeing his black jeans and button up shirt.

Tig looked down at his attire in his state of bewilderment, realizing that she had a point that he hadn't considered. He slowly stood from the bed and stripped down to his boxers, finally turning back to see her asleep again.

"Hey!" He whined as he crawled under the covers and pulled her close to him. "You ain't gonna wake me up, just to fall asleep on me."

"You want me to keep you up, Tiggy?" She tilted her head back to look up at him while her fingers danced across his chest.

Tig didn't answer, glaring down at her as he felt his dick springing to life, unable to take the restraint any longer. Of course he didn't actually plan on keeping up his act of celibacy, he just didn't want her to think that she had won just yet. She was right; he did have a reputation to uphold, and so far the little blonde girl had cost him some serious street-cred.

"Fine. Smoke?" She asked with the same exaggerated innocence when he held his ground, rolling onto her knees and leaning down off the bed with her ass in the air as she reached for her pack on the floor.

Tig sat up as soon as she exposed herself to him, pressing his tongue to her slit from behind and taking her off guard. Sydney gasped as she felt the warmth of his mouth on her so quickly, the mind-numbing effect of the alcohol intensifying the welcome surprise.

"You didn't really think that I wasn't gonna fuck you did you, Princess?" He caressed her ass as he spoke before going back in, spelling out game over with his tongue.

"Mmmm no, daddy." She moaned. "But." She extended her leg, her foot pressing against his chest and pushing him down to the mattress before turning around and crawling on top of him. "Did you really think that I was gonna give in that easily, after you made me wait all day." Her raspy voice was hot and seductive, lowering her mouth to his in a heated kiss where his hands gripped her hips harshly as their tongues battled for dominance.

Tig sat them up, pulling away with a grin that he couldn't fight any longer. "What?" Sydney bit her lip under his gaze as she quickly became bashful. She'd thought that he'd be into the 'daddy' thing, but the playfulness behind his eyes told her that maybe she had been wrong...

"You are like sunshine, and..." He tried to find the right words to describe the excitement that she brought to his life while his smile beamed and his curls bounced, shaking his head in awe. "Whiskey." He concluded with a chuckle.

"Tequila sunrise." She winked.

"I love you." He stated with his grin still wide.

"I love you." She replied dreamily as her eyes slid over him; something that she could've happily spent the rest of her life doing.

He wound his fingers into her hair, leaning down to recapture her lips as his stomach flipped in the same way that it had every single time that he'd touched her - still feeling the same unwavering excitement that he'd felt that first night in the clubhouse bathroom.

Sydney could feel the depth in his embrace, which she reciprocated as she ran her fingers through the curls at the back of his neck, allowing the softness to fill her with emotion as her lips moved against his.

Tig shivered under her gentle touch, the anticipation growing along with his dick as she sat, naked, on top of him, and touching him like glass. He reached behind his neck, grabbing her hands gently and sliding them over his shoulders before bringing them to his lips where he kissed her knuckles.

Sydney let her heavy eyelids droop down as he peered up at her with his eyes glazed over, splaying her fingers across his face where she cupped his jaw, and stroked his cheekbones with her thumbs. He smiled weakly, resting his forehead on her shoulder as she stared at him so lovingly - a look that he still didn't quite feel worthy of. But his senses perked up, and the blanket of doubt was whisked away when he felt arms around him, looking down to see Sydney burying her face into the crook of his neck as she closed her eyes. He smiled, laying back with her in his arms as he stroked her hair and rubbed her back as they both drifted off to sleep.

Tig was tearing down the I5, the sun on his face and the wind in his hair with the little brunette holding onto him tightly, giggling as he swerved in and out of traffic with a grin on his face. They had just rounded yet another honking vehicle and Tig could hear her laughing above the commotion, the exact same way that she had laughed when he'd first gotten the bike and taken her for her first ride. They were untouchable - untouchable by all of the things that they had helped each other escape, and all of the things that they had yet to be free from.

They rounded a bend, the bike leaning enough to scare anyone, but she just squealed with joy; she knew that Tig would keep her safe - especially now.

But that was before they could see where they were going; where traffic had come to a screeching halt before them with all lanes blocked, nowhere to go, and no time to stop. Tig had no other option than to lay the bike down as safely as he possibly could, swerving towards the edge of the road where they slid across the grassy median before he even had time to realize what he'd done.

Sydney was awoken from her peaceful slumber by her mattress jostling her around. When she came to her senses, she found herself toppling off of Tig who was violently tossing and turning as he broke out into a sweat.

Horns, sirens, and screams were blaring all around him as his ears rang, blood pouring from the gash in his head and clouding his vision.

"Jules?" He mumbled, lifting his fuzzy head where he found himself being wheeled away from the accident in a stretcher.

Sydney scowled when she heard the foreign name slip from his lips as he continued tossing about, the moniker doing nothing to help her figure out what could possibly be happening behind his closed eyes that would've produced a reaction this severe.

Tig continued looking around as they led him towards the ambulance, when he finally saw it. Her. The body bag being zipped up.

"No!" He screamed, thrashing against the weak stretcher. There was no way that this was happening. Not her… Not now… Not them...

"Tiggy." The paramedic said quietly, the sound echoing in his ears. "Baby."

Tig's eyes flew open as he gasped for air, finding Sydney sitting on top of him, running her hands through his hair as she gently coaxed him awake. "Wha-" He began to question as his throat locked up.

"Shhh..." She hushed him, brushing the forming tears out of the corners of his eyes. "You were just having a bad dream." She eased herself off of him, getting out of bed where she slipped on his shirt and made to fetch him some water once she was comfortable that he was stable; letting him catch his breath and familiarize himself with his surroundings.

As soon as she was out of the room, Tig began hyperventilating. It had been years since he'd dreamed about her; heard her, felt her. He had no idea how to process the emotions that he thought he'd finally rid himself of, nor did he want to. Swiping angrily at his watery eyes, he sat up; running his hands over his face and gripping his hair tight, slowly releasing it as he realized that what he desperately needed, was to get out of that room. He pulled on his jeans, and was in the middle of lacing up his boots when Sydney came back with a soft smile, holding out her empty wine bottle that she'd filled with cold water. He forced himself to chuckle half-heartedly as he accepted the bottle from her, and took a gulp.

Sydney knew all too well the kind of nightmares that this life brought with it; the shit that they could show you, the shit that they could make you feel, the shit that they could remind you of... She knew that he needed space to cool off - smothering would only make things worse with a guy like Tig who struggled to communicate his feelings as it was - but she couldn't ignore the pang that she felt in her heart when he got up to leave the room with tears glistening in his eyes, knowing that there was nothing that she could do about it.

Tig walked over to where Sydney sat cross-legged on the bed, wearing his shirt, stunned and with no idea how to handle the situation. He hated himself for once again ruining the moment, the pained look on her face only bringing more tears to his eyes. He sat down, squeezing his eyes shut as he cautiously reached for her hand - praying that she wouldn't pull away...

"I, uh-" He choked through his relief when his hand made contact with hers, clearing his throat as she grasped it tightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm gonna go have a smoke - take a walk. You should get some sleep, I don't wanna keep you up." He forced the words out before getting to his feet, leaning to press a kiss to her temple before turning towards the door.

Sydney knew that his distant tone was just his coping mechanism, but in her delirious state of exhaustion while still being half-drunk, it stung. She nodded, keeping her head down and her eyes focused on the floral print of the duvet, waiting until she heard the door close behind him to allow the flow of tears that immediately coated her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut and smacked the mattress with an angry fist, crying even harder.

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Tara laid awake in the dead of night, listening for the slightest sound that would send her nerves spiking into next Tuesday, just as she had every night for the past week since the sick message that she was sure he'd left her. She hadn't seen his face around town, but she was sure that he was there, watching her... Taunting her... Exactly like he'd done in Chicago.

She took a shaky breath as she tried to close her eyes for longer than a few seconds before the haunting shadows fell over her, and ripped them back open. She gasped for air as she reached for the glass of water on her nightstand that she'd retrieved for this exact moment, becoming begrudgingly familiar with the routine that she'd thought she'd left in the midwest.

But as she brought the glass to her trembling lips, she felt an air of calm envelop her as her exhausted eyes landed on the shiny chrome of her father's Beretta. She sighed as she reached for the gun, stroking her fingers along the ribbing on the side of the barrel. At least her father was good for something.

But maybe he wasn't the only man who could be good for something - something that would protect her. She blinked as she clutched the gun to her chest, and laid back down, deciding that maybe she would take Jax up on his offer to help her with her vehicle, after all.

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Tig was on his fourth cigarette as he listened to the waves crash against the shore with his feet in the sand as tears poured down his face under the moonlight."I'm so sorry, baby..." He whispered into the wind, flicking the cigarette butt into the sand and closing his eyes, taking a deep breath as he pushed the heinous memory that he had spent decades trying to bury, back into the depths of his mind where it belonged. He stayed in the same position for much longer than intended as he pondered the day that he knew had triggered the dream that detailed every second of that fateful day, twenty-two years ago - only when the darkness around him began to lighten did he open his eyes to realize that the sun was starting to rise.

Sydney had fallen asleep quickly after her outburst, the spent emotions cradling her in a sleep deep enough that she hadn't heard Tig enter the room, only waking when she felt the bed dipping behind her.

"I'm so sorry, angel..." He apologized with his face buried in the back of her neck, sighing when she lightly caressed the hand that was resting on her stomach to let him know that she was awake. "You were right. The beach does help." He silently prayed that she wouldn't ask - knowing that if he didn't have the mental strength to come up with a lie, he definitely didn't have the mental strength to tell the truth.

Sydney didn't know what to say, and she knew better than to ask. She nodded with as genuine of a smile as she could, choosing to be happy that he had allowed her to help him find some comfort, even if it wasn't in the way that she would have hoped.

"Alexander." He stated.

"Hmm?" She turned around with a scowl as the second unfamiliar name of the night was thrown her way.

"My real name." He didn't quite know if he was telling her because he wanted her to know more about him - the real him - or if it was just his guilty conscience using it as a diversion from what he didn't want to tell her.

"You do not look like an Alexander." She giggled. She could've looked over his TM records easily if she'd wanted to find out his real name so badly, but that was one of the few details that she had willed herself not to uncover when she'd arrived in Charming and quickly discovered her feelings for him.

Tig chuckled as he pulled her in tighter and closed his eyes, glad that she wasn't asking questions, and was giving what he considered to be somewhat normal responses - providing him with enough relief that he felt he could get back to sleep.

"You should tell me about her some day." She said quietly once she felt his body properly relax against her.

Tig tensed right back up as her words hit his ears - half at the thought of having to talk about her, and the other half at the fact that she had somehow managed to piece everything together. He loosened up when he realized that there was no malice in her tone - just understanding, nodding against her neck, and pressing a kiss to her shoulder before finally falling back asleep.

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Syd is learning... But Tig? Different story :))) Shoutout to Georgia and CJ for the inspo as well as making it absolutely impossible for me to think that Tig's old lady was named anything other than Juliet 😅

Song for this chapter

Careless Whisper - Seether