Disclaimer: I am still here. Just...not in the best shape.

Chapter 29

Mewni Civil War

XxXxXxXxX

Month 7 Darcy : A SvtFoE Story

Despite the compound burning to the ground, I found that the machine and the blood pit to be relatively intact. This wasn't part of my plan but I found the outcome regardless in my favor~

However, there was one glaring issue: Lizard, my beloved sister who is also my brother.

Despite the hours of modifications I had done to him, he resisted in some capacity!
Like sending Solid Spider, his brother running! Argh! I beat him and threw him on the machine again for an hour just so he could think about what he had done! No doubt that scum would spout nonsense to anyone who would care, he looked like Marco so there was no doubt someone would take ear…I'd have to silence them.

Wherever they reared their head.

I shook my head and looked at Lizard who thrashed on the chair in the meantime.

Lizard's defiance wore away after days of therapy, but I could never be sure if it really worked…the inner workings of the psyche was lost to me so I just had to take every precaution. I wrote a book of commands that Lizard would follow to the letter and made him go through it twice everyday when I had the chance: the moment he woke and before he slept.

I threw myself on the damn machine too, immersing myself with the tomes and books that didn't burn and my own collection as well! Oh, the pain was succulent but the pay off was worth it! Ah, with the knowledge I amassed; I gathered I had at least 20 years of fighting experience and tactics, of course I had to put it into practice. Lizard got 200 years of fighting experience…that was enough for him; damn Crimson Children you really wanted an unstoppable war machine, too bad his mine now~

Once all obstacles were cleared I set my sister on the warpath in a test run.

I was impressed at his efficiency: a settlement of 200 people, all dead.
In hindsight it might have been overkill, I wanted stories of his bloody deeds to spread.
Ah well…maybe I needed a bigger target~?

I took it upon myself to spread the news, crying belligerently and when the populace found the site they cried havoc. The injuries they sustained looked as if a rabid dire wolf had torn through the place, slashed marks so deep it might as well cut the person in two. Families around tables dead, they looked surprised at suddenly being torn apart. Livestock wasn't spared either, fuck Lizard I better keep a tighter leash on you.

I let this story spread and I was happy to see the effect on the other kingdoms: double the guards, double the patrols and keeping security at an all time high. Normally, that would be a bad thing for me, but it worked in my favor since I knew their defensible layout as 'Nefon' and the tense atmosphere made the citizens afraid and likely to panic at the merest trouble and rumor.

Easy chaos~

I revisited the Forest of Certain Death…
This time around the occupants steered clear of me.

With the kingdoms preoccupied I got to work with Prince Craven, with no magic I decided to melt the crystal after stealing many tomes of geology and crystal related books. Three painstaking day of testing, mixing concoctions and brews before I melted the crystal to a manageable size pulled it out of the ruins and into a nearby stream.

Lizard kept sure no one would be around and any unfortunate souls that did were snuffed out.

Underwater I carefully worked on the crystal, it was meticulous but I managed to pull the Prince free, he shrieked and clawed me at the shore.

"IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR SAVIOR!?"
"Isha iazza craa!"

I curled my lip and hissed, the massive bird looked at me,
"You are…Mewman."
"Yes." I panted, wiping my wet bangs to the side, "I am Darcy, sister to Nefon and Lizard, an Informant."

The Prince narrowed his eye and hopped on a rock, ruffling his feathers, "I…apologize for my behavior."
"Is that all?"
"What do you mean?"
"You called my mother a 'two Mewni corncob whore'."
"…I didn't know you knew Old Mewman."

I slapped the bird.
He flapped his wings to stay upright before bowing, "I am…terribly sorry Lady Darcy, it will not happen again."
"Bitch, it better not."

I broke bread with Prince Craven, telling him that I was a Mewman of Spiderbite and scholar, informant and sometimes warrior. Lizard was my brother of course, the Prince looked at the paltry bread and ate it without comment,

"This is all well and good, but I wish to be escorted home."
"Where to? I could arrange a carriage with a bird cage."
"Watch your tongue m'lady…"
"Jokes, Prince Craven."

The bird looked not at all amused, "I wish to be brought back to the glorious Craven Kingdom, at first light. Post haste."

"I'm afraid…I have never heard of that kingdom before."
"…what? What!? You dare insult me!?"

I held my hands when he looked even more angry,

"I mean no insult…but I've not heard of it."
"…how long…have I been in that crystal?"
"…I don't know." I was genuinely concerned, "What year were you born?"
"Hatched. What is it, m'lady."
"…2018, my Prince."

Prince Craven staggered back, "…I was…1700 was when the war started I was…no…NO!"

Lizard stalked closer, I held up a hand,

"Prince Craven what's wrong?"
"My kingdom I fear for it…I wish to see if it still stands."

I obliged the request.

.

"WHAT IS THIS!?" Prince Craven cried, I and Lizard stood from a good distance away from Pigeon Kingdom, this was the prince's directions to take.

"That's Pigeon Kingdom, that's been their home since—!" "THEY STOLE IT FROM US!" Prince Craven cawed.

"Jealous petty birds! They are no nobility! We of the Craven Murder Conspiracy are true nobility given by the Runners Kingdom!"

"Your name is terrifying and who are the runners?"

Prince Craven looked at me bitterly, "The Runners Kingdoms had the fastest footmen in all of Mewni; they didn't need horses they could outrun a Warnicorn no problem. We were their aids and closest allies! We send word over mountains and seas for them, we cherished them more like family than comrades…"

"How did they die?"
"They were murdered!" Prince Craven said in clipped voice, "We made a powerful alliance but a group pigeons saw us Cravens as a bad representations of avian on Mewni. Said that our looks didn't make it easier for others to gain nobility and other rubbish, they disliked us because we could form up and fight individually if the situation arise. First they tried to oust us from the Runner's good grace. Then they tried to attack us indirectly, rolling rocks into our nests. Of course we were protected and smarter than them…until the King and Queen of Runners fell gravely sick and died. Their royal heir a prince had a pet pigeon…that's when things went down hill for all of us: the prince died too."

"…"
"I knew something was up, after catching one pigeon I wrung out an answer: it was their doing."
"I have a question: how come you can talk?"
"Why shouldn't I?"

I pointed at the kingdom.

"Only Richard Pigeon can."
"Only him…? Oh. OH. So that's how they muzzled it up. Did any of them could speak before?"
"No, not in recent memory."
"Pox ridden birds! So that's how they are playing it…let me guess…they made it taboo to speak Mewman tongue?"
"…yes."

Prince Craven gave an ugly caw, "THEY DID SPEAK IN MY TIME! So they said it was taboo so they could cover up their ugly ascension to royalty! And Mewni did nothing?! They didn't investigate!? Faithless curs! Worse: traitors! BURN TO THE GROUND MEWNI!"

Prince Craven shrieked into the sky.

"I went for help after we fell…my family fighting courageously until they were swarmed by those rats with wings! I flew to anyone to stop the pigeons from jumping from my kingdom into pecking Runner citizens, oh no they didn't stop at the knights and soldiers…unarmed man, woman and child became their targets too. They wanted the entire affair…SILENCED. Then he came…they told him lies no doubt…Rhombulus…he will meet his end in playing his role, dimwitted he may be…but he should have known! MEWNI HAS BETRAYED MY KINGDOM! MY FAMILY! MEEE!"

I saw a fire, real fire in the Prince's eyes.
He was the one.
I needed him on my side.

I knelt near him, "Prince Craven…do you desire vengeance?"
His yellow eyes looked into mine, "Do you doubt it."

I smiled.

"Mewni betrayed me too…I am Mewman but I wasn't born: I was made. From a frothing blood pit I was spat out of. So was my brothers. So was my sister. They wanted us as weapons disregarding our Mewmanity. Nefon didn't make it. Lizard they…addled him. They stole my brother Spider. You and I are one in the same. Let us punish Mewni. Let us avenged what we lost."

Prince Craven looked at the outstretched hand, a talon cut into my palm before he offered his leg for her to do the same, I smiled and made a similar mark on him.

"Mewni will know our wrath, Darcy."
"They will never forget it…my Prince."

.

Prince Craven insisted upon immediate attack.
I objected.
His anger way understandable however he reluctantly agreed to let me case the plan of attack.
We were few but all strong, we just needed an opportune time to attack.

And two days later it came when a good amount of pigeons went out to forage for food.
Knowing they would be gone till dusk we made our move.

Pigeon Kingdom was attacked later that day.
The setting sun cast a bloody orange tinge on our approach.

Their flock came down on us three, an arrow got the rest roused but it was a paltry force, Lizard razor tumble into them rending them apart like rotisserie chicken. They came out in force afterwards, I drew up my bow and shot any messenger pigeons down whilst the two tore down the front.

Lizard and I tore through the front doors and the pigeons combined to greet us, it was the Prince's turn, he whir up and suddenly static electricity rolled over him and he electrify the flock, any that still foolishly resisted he crushed their skulls with his talons. We rend our way through the castle until we found ourselves in the throne room.

King and Queen Pigeon stared at us, eyeing Lizard with shock.

"I have returned for my kingdom!" Craven crowed, the two royals flapped their wings indignant at the claim. He ignored them and calmly hopped up the dais, despite his calm posture I could feel the roiling hate within him.

The two royalty felt it too and looked even more cowed at the presence.

"Do you deny it? Deny that this is not yours?" Craven spun around, his wings out in full display yet the two remained silent, not even a coo. Craven eyed them with disdain as did I, my bow was ready to shoot them down but I wanted the Prince to savor his victory…his loyalty solidified to me.

"What, can't—"

Prince Richard came crashing down from above with his legs.
Prince Craven went white with shock at the sight.

"You dare attack our kingdom!? Answer us knaves who would be so bold!"
"You…you defiler! Those legs! I know them! They are of the Runner Kingdom! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THEM, YOU MOCK THEM EVEN IN DEATH!?"

Richard and the rest blinked in surprise before the King and Queen cooed, Rich Pigeon looked at them confused, "What? Craven? What is that?"

"I AM CRAVEN! I AM PRINCE CRAVEN! SON TO KING CROW AND QUEEN RAVEN, THE FIRST OF THE HOLY UNION BETWEEN TWO KINGDOMS! And your forefathers killed my people and our allies; lied and covered it up! I WILL HAVE YOUR HEADS, BETRAYERS!"

Without warning Craven shot forward at Richard slamming him out of his legs and into the wall, the King and Queen shrieked but I notched a special arrowhead that burst open into a net over them and Lizard in blinding speed smeared any pigeons ready to take flight across the shit stained floor.

Out of the holes in the walls, more pigeons burst in but Craven slammed Richard alongside his parents, his raptor foot easily covering the prince's head, "How much do you love your prince? King and Queen?"

The pigeons cooed angrily.
Craven laughed and squeezed on Richard.

"Come any closer and you will find yourself leaderless and their precious noble bloodline lost to the four winds, I'll kill them all; you know I will~"

"Stand…down…" Rich managed to gasp.

Craven looked at the three with disdain, I held the royal couple down as Lizard had a handful of claws and tail out wagging for more carnage. The pigeons cooed one last time before becoming docile at the threat.

"From this point forth, you answer to me…" Craven crowed, "If I have any reason to believe you sent out a message to the other kingdoms, I will crush your puny royals to pieces and feast upon them as they did to my people."

One brave pigeon readied to take off but Craven already saw this and easily snapped Rich Pigeon's leg, he cooed to the rafters before slumping, prone.

"LET THIS BE A REMINDER TO YOU ALL: DO NOT TEST MY CONVICTION."

The pigeons obviously cowed, lowered their heads.
I leaned over and whispered, "It's a good thing these fuckin' birds can't speak a lick of Mewman." "Yes…something I am quite grateful for."

Craven looked down on the royalty.
Righteous fury in his eyes.

"Your rulers scaled royalty without honor by murder and trickery; now you will all pay for it."

.

I traveled to Spiderbite alone, Lizard stayed with Prince Craven, while I doubt the pigeons would retaliate it didn't bode well if he suddenly died on me, I quite liked the guy so I posted some sentinels just to be sure. That done, I traveled to my birth kingdom with all haste, driving my horses to death and snuck in.

The kingdom had been fortified again since my last visit, I guess I upset the rulers but I cared little, what was going to happen would leave no room for discussion.

I took the shape of an unassuming Mewman and blended in, I waited at an inn until dark before I scaled the castle and got inside, taking the shape of a maid and hurried past the staff.

Knights.
Guards.
Squires.
I could crush their puny little necks.
But then I needed them. For now.

I got to the kitchen and took a pitcher and spilled a powder packet into it and hurried along, no one was giving me a second glance…yet. I poured it in every unattended pitcher I saw, any cup or such that someone would drink out of.

Finally I reached the throne room, the King was there with a squad of knights, I smiled and hurried to his side, his goblet was empty,
"M'lord would you like some refreshing water?"

He gave me a glance and gruffly nodded, I poured him his fill and bowed.
I turned just as the doors opened again.
The whore walked in and froze in mid-step.

I smiled as I hurried down the dais and curtsy to her, she looked at me strangely, "Good evening, my Queen." I showed her my eyes, brightly shining.

She looked ready to pass out.
I smiled and moved for the door, "Come with me or he dies. Do it…naturally."

I waited in the hallway before she came after me a moment later, I could see her hand clasp on her sash. Oh, goodie, she had a knife.

I smiled and pointed, "Let's talk privately." "YES. LET'S."

She led the way and as soon as I walked through the door, I coughed as she plunge the knife into my throat and grabbed it, blinking as blood gushed out. The queen twisted it, "You think you can threaten me in my own kingdom? My own castle?! You will die! DIE. DIE YOU FILTH."

It was an odd sensation.
Dying.
I fell to the floor and the Queen grabbed a mace off the wall and smashed my face in.

Queen Spiderbite stared at the body, she grabbed a nearby torch and crossed the room for the window opening it,

"Gotta burn this body as soon as possible!"

"Really now? Can't we talk about it~?"

She dropped the torch and it harmlessly charred the stone floor.
She spun and saw me sitting on the floor wiping blood off my face, my head cavity slowly healing.

"How—how!?"
"Not telling~ but now you know…you can't kill me so easily." I pulled the knife out of my throat and threw it out the window.

The queen was ready to scream her head off but I crossed the distance and clapped my bloody hands over her mouth.

"Nuh-uh~ no screaming…not yet." I grew my teeth out and bit her shoulder, drawing blood, she thrashed but I drank her rancid blood in hearty gulps. I threw her aside and I felt my body change, I touched my throat feeling it heal, as did my head.

Honestly, if I didn't drink Lizard's blood, I would have died and I wouldn't be so arrogant.
But in my position, I could afford to be~

I drew back as the queen looked at me with utter hatred, hand clamp on her flesh wound, I smiled warmly to her,
"Careful, looks can kill~"
"I'll kill you." She raised a hand and swung.

I chuckled, holding her wrist tightly, my eyes turning a harsh green and I leaned forward, "I'd watch my tongue bitch. I just poisoned half of your castle and your husband juuust drank some poisoned water. Sure it will take some time…but can he live without his liver and kidneys?"

She looked at me between angry and shock, "Good~ now I'll be moving in, royalty suite by the way."

The queen looked horrified by my words.

"Oh, by the by, I will be taking over your position as queen when I feel like it."

I grabbed my face and pulled hard, ripping skin off the queen hopped back in disgust and surprise, my mangled face grinned at her before skin grew over it, an identical one to her own.

"That won't be a problem right, bitch~? Don't give me a reason to meet your—our darling princess~"

I laughed, even the voice was her own.
And in her voice and image, I would stir up some real mischief~

Month 8 Darcy Strikes Back

I became the Queen's aide and followed her around.
With the threat I made on the King and princess, she made every attempt to keep me on her sights. Going as far as keep me asleep on an adjacent bedroom to her own.

As if that would tip her off when I snuck out at night.
Tangling with the Iron Bull Spiders.
Smashing their eggs.
Pissing them off~

[Morning]

The queen was bushed with complaints from abnormal spider activity.
I smirked.
"Since you're going to be doing this all day…I'm going for a walk~ Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

I wagged a little bottle and tucked it in my dress.
She gritted her teeth.
It was poison. Her husband was perfectly fine. But she didn't need to know that.
And so did the other kingdoms about me. Now Pigeon and Spiderbite has gone dark~

All the commotion was two fold: keep the whore occupied. And I finally got contact from Prince Craven: he finally subjugated the Pigeon Kingdom to his talons. I advised him on some tactics, I read the letter from the runner that he threw half of kingdoms eggs off the walls, then threaten to replace them with his own.

I giggled when he angrily scrawled,
I would never push my noble bloodline upon my enemies…that is a fantasy of a pox-addled bird. I have more respect for myself than that…though I lament none might want my hatchlings. I do not wish to be like my enemies…

I sighed at Prince Craven's thoughts…I shook myself from my daze: Lizard was on his way to me already; I had to meet him away from the kingdom…Lizard and Marco shared face…it would not bode well for my plan.

I took my sister and we went for Jagged Mountain Kingdom.
Along with the posse of mercs that followed Lizard arranged by Craven.

I looked at the formidable defenses, Lizard got a delayed command from me that would activate in half an hour, just enough time to scale the defenses.

"What if you get caught?" a merc asked, greenhorn most likely.
Instead of snapping at him, I shrugged answering nonchalantly.

"I'll show them my tits, then stab them in the face."
"What if they aren't into that!" another snickered.
"Then I'll show them my dick." I shot back before I stealthily climbed up, growing myself claws, ignoring the shocked faces.

I followed the tour path I was shown weeks prior and scaled another peak, I had about another minute before the mercs would bombard the front and begin the raid. I reached the summit just in time as the front exploded; one firebomb barrel going off got the defenders to rush in abandoning their post for me to slip in this particular peak.

The Jagged Mountain's Secret Weapon: the Missile Ballistae.
When I visited, I did the usual combing through the kingdom's secrets; sifting through misleading paper trails and top-secret documents.

It was a marvel of a weapon, to think they were dozens more in case of civil unrest and war! Oh, everyone would be in for a surprise~
I spied several explosive barrels strapped to a lone ballistae missile; it looked as if they were planning on testing it! How wonderful: so was I.

I looked for a target maybe the castle? That would give the royals a good scare!
No.
That was much too predictable…

I sighed and glanced down seeing the itty-bitty minions of mine scrambling all over the place, as much as they were expendables, I needed them a bit longer…
If not down…then up.

I felt a feral grin split my face as the Cloud Kingdom floated above, they were so high that no arrow could hope to hit them.
Until now~

I dragged the missile into the contraption, while it looked rudimentary I quite liked it and reading upon the plans beforehand I quickly got the gist of it. I cranked the lever and the oil-slick gears moved the ballistae for the perfect trajectory before I pulled back the draw, my muscles ached but I pulled harder until the trigger was set.

Sweat poured down my bodice as the fighting below began to grow dimmer, I had to move!
I looked at the crosshairs before making the final adjustments before I yanked on the lever.

With a mighty 'THWACK' I was thrown off the ballistae!
Briefly I watched as the missile shoot into the night sky, while aerodynamic the friction it did produce ignited the missile. I watched eagerly as the missile simply became a trailing glowing ember…

An enormous scarlet explosion lit up the night sky, so bright it dwarfed the stars!
No doubt everyone seen it in Mewni!
I smiled victoriously as the dark cloud made a downward plummet—right for Spiderbite!?

"FUCK!" I seethed, it was unnaturally loud!
All the fighting had stopped below!

I looked for a way down from the spire when something stopped me cold:
I wasn't alone.

My eyes fell upon the two interlopers walking up the stairs from a balcony:
Jagged Mountain Princess and—her suitor? Fuck.
The two teenagers froze at the sight of a shadow-drenched figure at their favorite rendezvous.
No time for finesse: I attacked.

I kicked the guy over the railings, screaming as he fell before I grabbed the princess, a knockout pin ready. I needed these little prince and princess to be under my bidding, they were too important to kill.

The pin bent on her skin.
I stared.

Next thing I knew I was uppercut back into the ballistae room, Princess Jaggs Jaggy stomped into the room, tears in her eyes, "HE—HE—I'LL KILL YOUUU!"

I whirlwind to my feet and cracked my neck: fine, I could make do with one less royal.
She held up her dukes and threw her punches, her dress snagged and she was woefully uncoordinated; letting her rage and loss fuel her actions. I evaded, but never taunt her: she just lost a loved one, I could respect that.

Once the royal had blown through her emotional steam, she became quite terrified at being alone with me…her fear was succulent, I only smiled wider, my teeth longer and sharp. I looked at her skin, tough and leathery; I wonder…

Jaggs stepped back before she bolted, damn bitch could run!
I leapt on her back and raked my claws over her back, tearing through fabric, she screamed and tried to roll me off before I sunk my teeth into her shoulder.

Thick Skin!
I pulled back as she tried to hit me desperately before I closed my fist and punched her in the back of the head, slamming her into the floor and leaving a dent.

I bit again only to find it wasn't working.
Fuck, it was thick and hard!
I couldn't get it good with my mouth…

I tried to cut her elsewhere with my claw but it didn't amount to much.
No Monster I had eaten had talons sharp enough to cut! Only the jaws of the Monster shark-merman would do…

I grew a talon and stabbed the side of my mouth, I resisted the urge to clench my teeth and dragged it to my lips, blood poured out of the self-inflected wound before doing the same to the other side, my maw hung out more loosely…

I cut strands of fleshy fiber still connecting my mouth until it was completely unhinged.
Then I grew out the serrated razor sharp teeth, much too big if I was using my normal Mewman mouth.
And I crunched down on the princess, drawing hot blood. She woke and screamed deliriously, but I didn't let up even as she bunched up her fist and punched me, again and again. I bit only harder and she cried, screaming for me to let go! For her parents!

Oh, what a child!

One bite was good enough…
But then I just kept making more love marks~ here and there.

Licking my lips at my handiwork, I pulled off her as she weakly scrambled away from me, clutching herself, she threw a fearful backward glance before she ran down the stairs as I stood there, jaw unhinged and teeth fit for a demon, blood drenched and eyes brimming with manic glee.

"I'll see youuu later love~" I managed to say despite my maw.

I chuckled raking my claws across my arm, seeing it neither bleed nor redden.
Whatever the princess had…flowed in my veins!
I licked my lips…I wanted more~

I walked back to where I snuck in seeing a blistering red streak stretching to the horizon…
I quite liked the scene:
Kingdoms would burn by my name alone.
And hOPe will be rise from the ashes.

"I'll make Mewni great again~" as my flesh knit itself back.

.

The queen screamed at me upon my arrival back.
Going up and down about a flaming Cloud Kingdom nearly smearing the kingdom off the map and was hovering precariously over the ocean south of Spiderbite.
Atop of Kelpbottom Kingdom.
I wasn't having none of that and I threw her in the dungeon, ripping away her crown.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"
"Running my kingdom, bitch~ what does it look like?"

She sneered at me, "Everyone will see through it! My husband would too! My daughter!"

I laughed, "Not if he's in coma! And your daughter, oooh~ the plans I have for her."

She looked at me, ready to flung every curse and profanity she knew, no doubt.

But none came I grew curious over the pause.
She looked conflicted for a moment, before looking at me as if realizing something,
"…you were a mistake."

I looked at her, tired and stress-riddled; her blue eyes betraying nothing:
she truly regretted making me.
I felt an enormous serpent of loathing uncoil inside of me.

"A little too late." I said it without any banter. Any mirth or taunt.
I thought I was beyond whatever the queen could say to me, after what she had done and taken from me…
But this…hurt me.
More than she would ever know…

[Morning]

"My loyal subjects, hear me!" I proclaimed loudly standing out on the balcony of the castle, the King and Princess looking at me strangely, "I know you're all shocked and unsure of the situation: Cloud Kingdom has fallen within our borders and that of Kelpbottom Kingdom."

"What are we to do?!"
"This has to violate some treaty right?!"
"The sky is falling!"

I waited for my subjects to succumb to confusion and uncertainty, "Rest assured, this will be sorted out, nothing ill will become of this; you have my word~"

I looked up to the sky, watching as several Pigeons sent by Craven disappear into the distance…killing any messenger, destroying communication towers and outposts alongside my mercs and Lizard, sending these kingdoms into the dark…

No one would be coming.

.

Now to tip the corn cart~
I had a lot of fun in the forest and the critters enjoyed it too from forest floor to cobblestone streets, chasing me well into the Spiderbite Kingdom,

"YOU WANT YOUR VILE EGGS?! GO GET THEM!" I roared after I climbed the highest coastal structure and threw several egg sacs into Cloud Kingdom in the stroke of midnight, I groaned feeling my arm dislocate for such a throw. But I watched nonetheless as hundreds of Iron Bull Arachnids leapt and spun webs slings or parachutes and fell upon the kingdom. Of course, I was ignored, what was one Mewman to their eggs?

I caught one spider and broke its legs before tearing its mandibles and sinking my teeth into it. It was thirsty work when it came to setting up misery~

I watched as Cloud Kingdom lit up, playing host to angry spiders, breaking into cloud homes in search of eggs while the pony heads attacked in confused panic. I laughed when Kelpbottom joined in from the chaos as pieces of Cloud Kingdom descend into the murky depths, they already obscured them overhead, this was insult to injury~

.

"What do you mean it's out of your hands!?"
"King Ponyhead, please understand, we live alongside these beasties, we have no control over them." I said coolly as the floating head looked positively livid in the meeting room in Spiderbite,
"We can't positively pay for damages we didn't cause just because—y'know proximity."
"WHAT!?"

I held back a shit-eating grin as I looked at the other royals.

"Ah, King Kelpbottom, Queen Kelpbottom, you can't hold Cloud Kingdom responsible for damages either, they were under siege. What would you have—"
"HOW ABOUT NOT BEING HERE?! OR ABOVE US!? AND WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE FINAL SAY!?"
"IT'S NOT OUR FAULT! WE WERE SHOT AT! SOMEONE BROUGHT OUR KINGDOM LOW! WE MIGHT AS WELL CRASHED INTO THE OCEAN AND KILLED YOU IF NOT FOR US OVERLOADING THE CLOUD MATRIX! YOU SHOULD THANK US!"

The royals bickered while I sat back, absorbing the information and relishing the chaos, my hubby and daughter watched on frighten, I quite insisted they watched things unfold.
I loved the terror in their eyes as their 'wife' and 'mother' fanned embers for war.

"WHO IS THE CULPRIT!"
"WHO THREW THE SPIDER EGGS!?"
"If I might interject." The pissed royals looked at me, "Why not find who put us three in this predicament: Who shot down Cloud Kingdom? Surely none of us has anything capable of one shot another kingdom…right?"

King Ponyhead look apprehensive at my angle, King and Queen Kelpbottom likewise…
After all, they did have weapons of mass destruction for times like this~
I was for Spiderbite after all~

"Perhaps we should reconvene when we are feeling more amicable?"
"…fine."
"...be quick about it"

I sighed at the cease of hostilities.
On to the next target~

.

"Oh, Nefon thank Mewni you're here."
"Likewise, I've heard terrible rumors, tell me it's not—"
"It is, someone attacked my daughter! Oh, why?" the Jaggy Mountain royals lamented.

I feign shock as the royal profusely chitter.
I was hoping they would divulge their weapon! Naughty Jaggy Mountain~!

"But why attack your daughter? You don't have enemies…"
"It's sad to say…but I think the other kingdoms have been quite angry with my kingdom…I heard that Kelpbottom-Cloud-Spiderbite are in some mess too. To think Cloud would fall between two kingdom's borders…and to think Pigeon Kingdom has been harrying travelers almost all the way to the Johansen Clan! No kingdom has been able to get near them much less a messenger no matter how hard they tried! It's as if they turned rabid!"

Oh, damn, my face was so hard to keep in feign surprise when I wanted to grin so badly! Ah, Craven you never cease to amaze~ doing exactly what I wanted even without saying a word!
I really must have him help me in an upcoming endeavor…his thrill of theatrics makes me swoon~

"But why would kingdoms target you? Sorry, lets focus on your woes first, we can talk about the others later."
"…yes, that would be prudent…I believe it started when we took Marco Diaz's side in the Peace Talker Incident. I and Kelpbottom believe we were in the wrong but the other kingdoms thought otherwise, we tried to be amicable but they refused to talk so we closed borders in fear of retaliation, violent retaliation…I think it has come to that…"

I nodded my head, intrigued after all.

"Was this Peace Talker Incident…need to know? Sorry, only for your ears?"

The royal looked uncertain for a moment, "Let's just say…we thought Marco did the right thing…took the right course of action…against Eclipsa Butterfly."
"…she's alive?" this was a legitimate question.
"Can I trust this will not leave your lips?"

I looked at the hand before me.
"I solemnly swear that it will." With the backstabbing I have done…I took this to heart. Ironic.

"She's alive and Marco defeated her, a powerful Butterfly unlike any before or after her, Dark Magic is her crux, bar none. He still prevailed and could have killed her but he abstained believing she was innocent until proven guilty. He has proven he is just, using his powers in restrained measure; had it been someone else they could have forced us to do their bidding but he relented, he gave us a chance to prove we are capable leaders…and we threw it back to his face. We have…sully our honor…I don't hate him for what he chose to do."

Wow.
That is some mad street rep, Marco…if I didn't know any better I'd think the King and Queen were deep throating you, dick and balls~

"And the Pendragon Sword choosing him well…why shouldn't it?"
"Wait…what is that?"
"Oh. It's an ancient relic of Mewni. I think it went to him, an Earthling because no Mewman no longer qualifies for it with all this fails we have committed. Poetic, if not rightful deserved."

Interesting.
It seems that I would need one if I were to combat Marco…one day.

"I see. It seems communication is key to this problem, you don't talk enough, yelling at each other seems to be better alternative than not talking at all. I heard that the three kingdoms in question are going to convene in Spiderbite…"

They stared at me.
"Why would we need to be present?"
"…" I restrained myself from narrowing my eyes, they didn't want to be there, interesting…
"For solidarity. You said that Kelpbottom agreed with you on the Peace Talker Incident, so I figured maybe you want to be there for them."

The mountain royal looked apprehensive at the offer.
Oho, they were afraid. That will not do, I need you there, whether you like it or not.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'll be attending the meeting as well. Someone to be arbiter of sorts, I'll keep my opinions to myself unless asked or feel if I must interject." I coaxed.
"…that is…comforting to know you will be there. Thank you, Nefon, we will make an appearance if it will stave off more complications. You've been a tremendous help, listening is a forgotten skill as of late."
"Oh, think nothing of it. I'm happy to lend an ear~"

.

I pushed the queen along, she looked at me in surprise and anger,
"Where the hell are you taking me?!"
"Oh. A meeting. Here's your crown and a gown. Try to look…royal for once." I snickered; she'd been in a dungeon for a few days now, out of the loop and positively on the wire.

Oh, this would be good~

I took form of Nefon while she hurriedly put on her clothes, crown and briefly looked at the mirror and saw a mess she was, "I want a makeup kit." "A washbasin. That's it."

She washed her face and dried, she combed her hair and put on the crown, she looked clean at least.

"Have fun~" and the doors swung open.

The Queen shot her family a look of concern, they looked back frighten unknown to her they watched 'her' literally get royals steaming. Jaggy Mountain royals looked at her forebodingly, King Pony Head was miffed alongside his daughter who bothered to show up, Kelpbottom royals who were just plain angry and showed it.

I just smiled as the scene unfolded,

It started amicable at first.
Each one throwing out their plate of complaints.
The Queen sat there confused.
I gave the whore the briefest on explanations to keep up the charade. Prodding her along.

It was coming along quite well.
Then came the finger pointing:
Who attacked who?
Who stand to gain?
How could this have happened?
Who was behind it all?
Who was to blame for such a crisis?

"It could have been—!"
"We were the ones attacked!"
"If it weren't for Cloud Kingdom—!"
"Try having your kingdom shot out of the sky—sea!"
"Your debris fell upon us causing significant damages! Compensation—!"
"Do not talk about compensation when Spiderbite's beasts came and wreck—!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about! They stay in the forest and only minute size ones—" "They came from your kingdom's wall and rampage through my kingdom! You are responsible!"

I smiled evilly and quickly interjected.

"C'mon now, surely this Cloud Matrix could simply short-circuit and descended: dangerously—"
"And I'm telling you there is no way! NONE! Someone attacked my kingdom! THAT IS A FACT!"

King Pony Head heatedly insisted, "Even you Nefon must see that is true!"
I spread my hands open,

"But Cloud Kingdom is way up in the sky! Ok—OK, say you're right and someone did attack you: they have to be on an awfully high place to even get such a vantage! And what would they hit you with? An oversized slingshot? A bow and arrow?" I said the last part almost comically.

Then.
I waited for the royals to think the worse~

"No one has that kind of weapon or…vantage…?"
"…no."
"…oh no."

The room slowly turned to Jaggy Mountain.
They had turned sheet white.

"What?" I asked before I slowly looked at Jaggy Mountain, a look of realization dawning on my face, "Jaggy Mountains…what are your primary form of defense? Other than knights, of course."

"…" their lips were closed.
Spiderbite Queen looked at everyone, she understood the situation well enough but missing some crucial information made the implication to what she said next sent Mewni on fire,
"It's ballistae. On mountains."

That alone sent the entire room in an uproar.

"Just because they could—"
"LIES!"
"YOU THINK I WOULD—THE AUDACITY! SPIDERBITE HOW DARE YOU!" Jaggy Mountain King roared, the chair flung back as he stood his wife soon joining, "MY KINGDOM WAS ATTACKED BY RAIDERS! MY DAUGHTER WAS ATTACKED BY A FIEND! I AND MY WIFE WILL NOT BE SUBJECT TO THESE BASELESS ACCUSATIONS!"

"Is that why, Jaggs…?" Spiderbite Princess looked mortified.
Pony Head Princess's jaw dropped.

The two princesses were ignored in favor of the Jaggy Mountains glaring at them all, the Queen quite aware she just said had done. Her eyes darted to me, I shied closer, discreetly whispering,
"Go on…tell them it's me…I want to see how it goes~ and the questions, where could they lead? BACK TO YOU. Let's have three angry kingdoms scour you off the map."

The Queen felt a shiver down her spine and stood up, "That's enough! If we start fighting and pointing fingers at each other—we'll just do whoever caused all of this what they want!"

"That's asking a lot." Hissed Kelpbottom, "I don't see you suffering anymore than usual!"

"I know—I KNOW! We are all tense and angry and confused—but we can't run ourselves like this! If our citizens see us like this—it'll be madness! We ALL have grievances but for now let's leave the perpetrator—"
"LIKE HECK WE WOULD! THEY ATTACKED MY DAUGHTER!"

The Queen inhaled and calmly finished,
"…aside for now and get Cloud Kingdom back on high and keep our citizens and kingdoms calm! What do you need, King Pony Head?" the Queen spoke quickly, pulling everything in her mind to keep things from going overboard.

I was mildly impressed.

The royals glared at one another.
But slowly they sat back down and calmed, King Pony Head sighed and closed his eyes for a moment,

"The Matrix will need time to repair and power, maybe a month or two and we'll be airborne."
"Is there any way we can help?"
"No. Just…just keep your beasties away from us so we can work. Kelpbottom, I understand you'll be most affected."
"…yes, but perhaps that can be remedied…if you will allow us to move beyond kingdom borders and international waters we can stave off most discomfort."

The royals talked more and more how to handle the situation; sometimes they quarrel other times they compromise.
This was truly heartwarming~
For them.

I caught the eye of the Queen, despite narrowly dodging a bad situation she couldn't be humble and look away.
She smirked at me.
BITCH.

I tucked some bangs behind my ear.
My earring flicking light to the ceiling.
A messenger Pigeon whom Craven sent me shivered in the rafters understood the signal. It flew out of the opening above, circled and entered from the open window.

Looking nothing out of the ordinary.

Dropping a thick scroll on the table.
A wax seal on it bearing a scroll, an Informant insignia.

The royals blinked at the sudden invasion of avian.
"Was that…a Pigeon?"
"QUICK CATCH IT!"
"Hey. What is that?"
"Huh. That would be mine. Looks to be from a source." I walked over and picked it up, examining the seal, the royals getting a good look at it before I cracked it and unfurl it.

I feign reading it before I unceremoniously dropped it, my face pale.

"Dear Mewni…"
"What?"

I strategically made sure I was near Kelpbottom so they picked it up first, their eyes bugled out as it contained a few lines but it was a report of a missile being seen launched from Jaggy Mountain into the sky and exploding.

"This…this is…"
"What?! SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"

Kelpbottom showed it on the table, besides the scant report:
A picture of the ballista Jaggy Mountain was constructing was expertly drawn.
From my memory~

"…"
"…oh bleeding Mewni."
"Jaggy Mountain…tell me…"
"Where…where did you…?" they started before they stopped.

I looked at them, "Is this…any of this…true?"
They said nothing, their eyes glued to the scroll.
Recognition, all the other royals saw it all over their face.

King Pony Head looked at them in disbelief.
"You…shot my kingdom?"
"No…no…NO! This is—!"
"IS IT TRUE OR NOT!?"
"OF COURSE NOT!"

I looked royally offended,
"I'm a liar? I'll have you know I am a professional."
I put as much edge into my voice.

The Jaggy Mountain looked at me, shock and in disbelief; they stammered an apology whilst I feign the look of betrayal.

They looked at everyone and firmly insisted,
"WE DID NOT ATTACK CLOUD KINGDOM."

"Fine." I said coolly, "But this ballistae does exist right?"
"No, it doesn't."
"Oho? So then…the Spiderbite Queen and myself are liars too? Or…" I paused ominously, "You're lying: you have this weapon…why would you ever need one for?"

Jaggy Mountain froze.

"Why, are…? We—"
"No point hiding it: we all saw your face. You recognized it."

The two royals sat there.
All eyes on them.

"…where did you get your sources."
"Trade secret. Informant Code." I said tersely.
"They are unreliable."
"I say otherwise, you seem quite troubled by it. Indicant even."

They said nothing.
The room was painfully quiet.
The tension quite palpable.

Suddenly, King Pony Head rose up,
"They don't have to say a word: they attacked us, plain and simple. Without warning and without preamble."

"What reason do we have to attack you!?" Queen Jaggy exclaimed.
"YOU TELL ME: YOU SHOT MY KINGDOM DOWN AND NEARLY SMOTHERED KELPBOTTOM TOO! ONE MISSILE FOR THE PRICE OF TWO KINGDOMS!"

Kelpbottom looked disturbed at the notion, they looked at the Jaggy Monarchs with searching eyes. Were they mere inches away from being killed by their own supposed ally too? When Jaggy Mountain said nothing, it made the picture even bleaker for the monarchy,

"WE HAVE ENOUGH PROOF AS IT IS. INCRIMINATING, I MIGHT ADD!" King Pony Head shaking his massive head and faced the Jaggy Mountain Kingdom; Princess Pony Head was deathly quiet.

"Article X, Section III, Clause I;
I, King Pony Head monarch of Cloud Kingdom, on the grounds of unwarranted attack, endangerment of heirs and state,
DECLARE WAR ON JAGGY MOUNTAIN KINGDOM."

The two Jaggy Mountain royals looked shocked at the declaration, they looked at Kelpbottom who looked torn at the words of King Pony Head.

"King Pony Head, please consider—" Spiderbite Queen looked terrified.
"You. And Nefon. Twice, they have been caught! Yet they insist they had done nothing wrong!"

The two royals stood up, pale face,
"This…this is wrong! Everything about this! We were attacked! Do not act as if you are the only one to suffer as of late!"
"In light of what has happened, I question that!"
"NEFON YOU'VE SEEN MY KINGDOM! YOU INSISTED WE COME HERE!"

I looked perplexed,
"I did, but you also came for Kelpbottom. And having that weapon is entirely a different matter."

They looked at me horrified, finally realizing if they didn't come they would be suspected, if they did this would have happened. The former worse because if they didn't come for Kelpbottom in their time of need they ran the risk of alienating them; especially since the two of them were the only ones that sided with Marco. They were the odd ones out.

"…if you attack us on these false charges…THEN THE FULL MIGHT OF MY KINGDOM WILL DEFEND ITSELF!"

My eyes shifted to Kelpbottom, as did Jaggy Mountain.
They looked hesitant to join in.

"Jaggy Mountain…"
"Kelpbottom: we did not attack Cloud Kingdom. On our honor."

King Pony Head slowly turned to them.
The aquatic Mewmans did not make eye contact.

"But could you?"
"IS THAT ENOUGH PROOF? YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE YOUR ALLIES A STRAIGHT ANSWER!"
"Nay, they don't have to for we believe them all the same."

Everyone looked at Kelpbottom as the two stood up, scowling,
"WE STAND ALONGSIDE OUR ALLY THE JAGGY MOUNTAIN MONARCHES. YOU WILL FIGHT US BOTH, CLOUD KINGDOM."
Despite their words, they look meaningfully at Jaggy Mountains, no doubt wanting answers, maybe privately.

King Pony Head looked positively livid at the words nonetheless.
He looked at the Queen.
She slowly stood up, looking horrified,
"I…I absolutely forbid you from waging war in my borders!"
"THEY ARE IN MY BORDERS!"

The Queen looked at all the royals, she looked ready to have a heart attack,
"YOU WILL NOT HAVE WAR HERE!"
"OH? AND HOW ARE YOU GOING ENFORCE THAT CLAIM, SPIDERBITE?"

The Queen seriously looked like she was consider it.
I spoke up, "Defensive warfare doesn't really work when an entire Kingdom is on your front porch, my Queen. Ah, and above your kingdom, Kelpbottom."

"I will not partake in this folly!" the Queen firmly spoke,
King Pony Head snorted at the sentiment.

"You do not have to for I shall not be alone, I have allies too." He sneered.

Spiderbite watched helplessly as the royals filed out of the meeting room, I kept a neutral face as Jaggy Mountain and Kelpbottom glared at me shaking from head to toe and King Pony Head just ignore me.

King Spiderbite and the princess looked queasy and quickly left afterwards.
Leaving me with the Queen.
I smiled to myself.

"Feel like telling them about me?"
"..." beautiful silence.
"Didn't think so~"

.

The coming days the Queen tried and failed to send letters, envoys and messengers to the kingdoms to stop the hostilities, no matter how much she tried. However, she saw some luck with King Pony Head, seeing as communications were on the fritz, courtesy of myself they began to collude with each other.

I decided to leave the situation to her; after all she was already stoking the fires, just like Jaggy Mountain rolling out troops beyond their borders to contain their movements.

By now they realized that their communications were shot.
Reports of Pigeons and raiders as the culprits made things more distressing as it seemed Pigeon had finally gone 'rogue' seen by the four kingdoms and joining the fray.

At first it was a stalemate, just moving here and there to impede.
Boring stuff really…

So I helped~

Killing a patrol here.
Dead body there.
Leaving one in the kingdom.
Impaled in a camp.
Pigeon feeding frenzy over there.
Getting a Spiderbite cannon to shoot a pier as merman Mewman dived for safety.

The constant build up of prods and pokes got the kingdoms wonderfully worked up!
All the while the Queen remained quiet, knowing the consequences if she revealed it was I the culprit. Oh, she was too deep now, if I was some dumb animal she could have easily condemn me…but I can talk and I was too far-gone in power.

With Cloud still stuck above Kelpbottom, Spiderbite colluding with Cloud, Jaggy Mountain mobilizing and barricading the peninsula and a blockade of Pigeons stretching obscenely to keep Mewni divided as things heated up~

Oh?
The Monster?
They've been doing raids of their own~ with the upper kingdoms in turmoil and foraging being a lot harder since the Pigeons have been pecking every viable fruit, seed and crop to be fed they've gone to Mewman settlement to barter and trade at first. But with my rumors from months prior, oh they were mighty suspicious and coldly turned away.

Oh, but Monsters can't go hungry can they?

And the pillaging and raids began in earnest~
I knew there were ways out of Mewni, I've ran into these 'Dimensional Scissors' so a surplus of goods could be smuggled in and all this could have been catastrophic, sooo I stole them! In guise of a Monster and Mewman to make things even more complicated to pin the culprit.

Soon even Monsters killed Monsters…Mewman turned on Mewman.
It wouldn't be right if only the royals fought and died, even the lowly peasants and everyone in between must bleed for me…
They all must partake in this Civil War…

Month 9 Mewni Legends : Darcy

Moon stared to the north of Mewni, dark clouds and foreboding shadows in the distance had become commonplace as of late. She could no longer ignore such a sight after reading reports of a flaming missile striking Cloud Kingdom and they fell over yonder, somewhere in the ocean.

She got a heavily botched transmission from King Pony Head screaming his head off as the kingdom descended before it went dark. She tried to contact Kelpbottom, Jaggy Mountain and Spiderbite and found the transmission dead, messengers and couriers were attacked by roosting Pigeon flocks including brigands and raiders of Mewman and Monster variety.

Essentially the North of Mewni were no longer accessible.
Kelpbottom and Jaggy Mountain were fine since they were self-reliant but Cloud and Spiderbite? Oh, they would starve…

She tried to break through the blockade to no avail.
Moon winced at the memory of her cutting a rift with Dimensional Scissors only to be transported leagues away from her destination, nearly surrounded and routed raiders.
Before she could implement more ways to get through this predicament Nefon the Informant came to her kingdom's doorstep beaten and bleeding, she had came from the four kingdoms and spoke of her worst fear realized: Civil War had broken out between the four kingdoms.

"How could—how could you know?" Moon managed to wrangle her fears, Nefon looked at her meaningfully, "I risk life and limb to get here out of that place! Some of my agents have died getting me these reports!"

She flung blood splattered parchment on the table, Moon tentatively opened some and was filled with dismay seeing the reports some she recognized from said kingdoms in question, like propaganda and newsprint.

Moon touched her temple at the sight, "What happened, Nefon…" "…the reports I received points to Jaggy Mountain instigating the conflict as they struck down Cloud Kingdom leaving it in between Kelpbottom and Spiderbite, your highness. I was there when the talks went awry and now Spiderbite-Cloud Forces has come to blows with Jaggy Mountain-Kelpbottom Alliance."

"How could Jaggy Mountain do this…why?"
"I do not know for certain."
"…thank you for getting me these crucial information, Nefon. Please, you must be tired, you can retire in one of the suites if you like."
"Thank you…that is most kind."

Moon watched Nefon walk away with a knight escort, her limp apparent, the Queen wait before she coughed and Hekapoo slid out of her hiding spot.

"…she's pretty brave to go through that blockade."
"I don't know what connections Nefon has…but I couldn't so much as breach the line without being spotted or severely injured. The skies is swarmed by Pigeons, the waters is treacherous with sea Monsters, the land filled with raiders and marauders and going through the woodland is suicide."

Hekapoo looked disturbed,
"Communication is dead whether conventional or traditional, my Scissors can't lock on either, I nearly found myself smashing into the side of a mountain!"
"…I can't reach out to the kingdoms without severe consequence to myself and I can't send a battalion to breach the blockade, they'll be flanked from all sides and die. A messenger would fare no better…"
"…perhaps the eagles?"
"…no, River is too…fond of them. If harm came to them, he'll—it's best I don't include him."
"…alright."

Moon could see the look on Hekapoo's face as she turned to leave,
"…I do think there is one option we should consider, Queen Moon."
"…which is?"
"Marco. Whatever is interfering would mean little to his sword."
"…no. Marco's made his choice. And we…made ours."

Hekapoo turned and looked at her, incredulous,
"You're going to put Mewni in jeopardy over your pride?!"
"Do you not think the other kingdoms would not do so? Listen Hekapoo: Mewni has faced turmoil before…and we got through it WITHOUT a Dark Knight."
"…fine."

Hekapoo and Moon walked in separate directions.

.

Nefon lounged around the castle for three days, sometimes visited by the princess and other times she stretched her legs and walked around the castle with a knight escort. When it became apparent that she would be constantly supervised she tried to assist Moon in running the kingdom but Moon quickly put her foot down, insisting she knew what she was doing, much to Nefon's surprise.

Instead, she asked Nefon to put her Informant skills to use and asked her to ascertain from Monsters and Mewmans what had been going on beyond her kingdom's borders.

"You're well respected by both communities, any news would be welcomed, rumors even just to get a better idea of what's going on."
"…by your command, Queen Moon."

Nefon walked out of the kingdom, her head high and her back straight.
She chewed on words she very much wanted to say.

Nefon looked to the North and quietly contemplated her decisions that led up to this moment…

.

Whilst the four Kingdoms fought, I turned my attention to central Mewni: Butterfly and Johansen. The former more important than the latter, being the backbone of Mewni from years of yore, Butterfly Kingdom stood for years much longer than most kingdoms that rose and fall around it.

Still it was quite the undertaking for me but I had plenty of things on my side: mystique and misdirection of the situation. I scolded myself for thinking it would be sooo easy like with the Queen…

But that was fine.
I was acquainted with Moon Butterfly's prowess in negotiation and diplomacy before.
If anything she was as good as me, Mewman terms not Monster, there I had her beat.
With the sudden destruction of the Crimson Children, the Monsters were looking for the culprit and I was quiet on that regard, I needed the 'culprit' to act as a catalyst for my plans so I was coy with my answers.

To put simply: Moon Butterfly was a threat. She wasn't incompetent nor dim-witted like the rest of the royals. The only true royalty I found that earned the title of Queen, my recon of her kingdom showed that she wouldn't fall to paltry raids having magic on her side.

I know Moon would duel me once, single combat. But once she gathered what I was she would never do so again, bringing a posse and maybe even the Magic High Commission.
Magic.
I had none of my own.
And that was the reason I left Moon last: MAGIC.
How could I beat her if she were to use that oppressive force against me! Or run away if I were to gain the upper hand; plus her buck wild daughter was in the same magical caliber.

And Star Butterfly…
Strange, I felt a—kinship, with her? Hmph, I don't know her that well, but I wouldn't rule out if I wasn't a genocidal maniac, we would be the best of friends.

Too bad I wasn't.
Mewni is teetering on that pillar that Moon was.
I have to send it crashing it down.

So I would play Moon's game…for now.
And to be expected the Mewmans in the outer settlements were scared shitless, many of which clawed at my boots and hem for a kind word, hoping for a better tomorrow.

The same happened with the Monsters that trembled at the thought of war spreading from the North downwards, the little skirmishes claimed plenty of collateral already and the blockade slowly pushed into central Mewni. Oh, that gives me an idea~

I smiled to myself as I moved to the next settlement, just to show face and if I was being tailed, that I did what Moon asked. Could never be too careful with that Moon…

I went to the next settlement by a river.
Did the usual rounds before I found myself in a predicament: when a lone Mewman cornered me.
Or rather I followed him then he cornered me.

"…Nefon the Informant."
"Yes, how can I help you?"
"…you can't."
"Mhmmm, then I must be on my way."

I said it.
But I didn't turn my back.

He looked at me hard, as if trying to see through me,
"…you're from Spiderbite…aren't you."
"Is it my good looks?"
"The lack of bites, your mannerisms, the way you talk even…it's as you are trying to be Mewman. You nearly had me fooled too…if I didn't see—!"

I didn't let him finish.
My eyes flashed from blue to green.
His eyes widen.

He leapt back pulling out a folded bow with parchment tied to an arrow, in one fluid motion he fired it into the nearby forest just as I lunged forward, knife in hand. I made sure to twist the knife watching scarlet spurts as he staggered back over a picket fence and into the river.

I spun and looked for the arrow, calculating the trajectory.
I ran for it and found the arrow slammed into a tree trunk.
I stayed in the shadows, ready to fight and kill the intended recipient.
But when no one came, I took the arrow and tore off the parchment:

SUCC MY COB

"FUCK! HE PLAYED ME LIKE A DAMN—!"

I ran back to the river and following it downstream before it led to a massive lake, I cursed to high heaven, my mind racing on who could have sent him? WHO!?

My eyes fell upon the Butterfly Kingdom…
.

I came back to the kingdom and gave Moon my report.
Then informed her on a lead that I overhead and would investigate it.
Her dismal was polite and I readily left, thanking her for her hospitality.

I quickly got a hold of Prince Craven and gathered a raid group, Lizard would get knights to move towards the blockade whilst the group and myself storm the castle.

The following sunset I let Lizard loose, watching as he got 20 odd knights chasing him before I led my own merry band.

They didn't get far.
The defensive perimeter proved too much, Queen Moon you are most deserving of my caution.
Nonetheless I got through, running at top speed through the town and into castle grounds, with a flock of Pigeons they flew into the castle grounds and peck the heck out of the knights, Moon and Star joined the fray soon afterwards.
Perfect~

"Knights, battle stations!" Moon ordered.
Star stared terrified as I tore forward, making sure I don a different face I collided with the princess.

Or least I hoped, instead I had Moon smite me sideways while the princess took out the harrying Pigeons.

RAINBOW FLOWER WHIRLWIND!
DAISY CHAIN WHIPLASH!

I stood up facing Moon, thankfully I had Thick Skin applied so the blow was more annoying than painful.

"Queen Moon Butterfly," I adopted sophisticated airs, royalty would definitely throw her off, "I've come to put you—out of your misery." "Knave."

I chuckled before I tore into her spells, wincing before I smashed her into a wagon side, she made a magic sword from her bare hands and slashed me, I snarled feeling my flesh knit from the blow.

Still I wasn't going to give up over one hit.
I roared when she struck me again.
And again.

I felt blood saturate my clothes as I tried to get the better of Moon, she and I were definitely equals in combat prowess but her damn magic kept nicking me! I found myself on the defensive and evasive, fuck! I rolled away from a blast, tired of being pushed back by her and grabbed the ruined wagon, Moon looked ready for it—fine, but did you count on THIS!?

I chuck the wagon at Star instead; she knocked out another Pigeon and fired at the wagon alongside her mother, a brilliant explosion followed. I leapt on the Queen's back at the chance, growing my teeth, she took off immediately slamming me into the castle wall after growing wings!

"GET. OFF. ME!"
"NO."
"GET AWAY FROM HER!"

Moon pulled forward I saw Star readied to blast me when I saw a Mewman henchman coming, bloody and all.
Moon saw it too.

"STAR BEHIND YOU!" Moon screamed frantically, panic thick in her voice.
"AH!?"

MOLTEN LASER CANON!?

Star spun and the spell intended for me instead blasted a sizzling hole through the Mewman mook, he grunted and staggered back. He looked at his midsection surprised as, his upper organs slid out of the hole and he fell back, dagger out of his hand.

Dead.

Star stared at the Mewman, her wand falling out of her hands.
Moon was the same. Aghast at the sight.
I didn't care and I bit into her exposed neck as she shrieked, shaking a pale face Star out of her shock. She reached for her wand and fired just as I kicked off Moon, letting her take the hit as I sailed across the air.

Unscathed.

"YOU DAMN VILLAIN!"

I roared in agony as something heavy and sharp slammed into my back and sent me plummeting into the stone pavement. I watched as King River rolled after leaping out of a third story window, striking me and tended to his wife. Star looking extremely shaken at the sight of her mother bleeding and sheet white.

But alive.
Damn.
But at least I got what I wanted: Magic from the Butterfly.

I made my daring escape, not that they could do much about it, River did throw his battle-axe at me but I merely dodged it letting it hit a stump.
Neither gave chase though.

I raced out of the castle area, punching and gutting knights that tried to stop me, borrowing a rather sturdy broadsword from the first corpse I made.

I was nearly out too before I came across something that tickled my good mood even further: a redhead freckled squire.

I low whistled as I faced off with her, to be sure she was brave—and stupid.

"Y'know, I'm in a rather charitable mood…flee wench and you get to live to see the sunrise."
"I don't think so." She snarled and raise an odd looking sword, I pointed mine, it was plain but it was true and razor sharp.

I sighed, I just had Mewman fillet before this little raid and took a meaty bit out of Moon earlier…ah well, I could always do with more~

I shot forward, sword in a perfect lunge, but the squire parried the blow masterfully and riposte immediately nearly skewering me. A lick of fear blossom as the sword was inches from my midsection and it was well founded as the sword suddenly burst into flames forcing me to parry and retreat.

Blinking rapidly at my actions as the squire waved the flames off her sword and readied herself, I let it show on my face that I was royally pissed.

"A magic sword! You are awfully lucky or rather favored to have such a weapon in a meager position!"
"…I am Marco's equal after all, squire to squire." The freckled squire boasted.

I would have found the boast tasteless but with Marco tacked on it…that made me want to break the squire for information now.
And her sword to boot.

The notion wasn't lost to Higgs, seeing her enemy's eyes alight with unholy desire; she began to think she was clearly over her head with this one. She brought the sword up, using the reflection to see that there were some knights still alive; all she needed was to stall for time.

Damnit…fine!

Higgs twirled the sword, I tensed before she threw several fire darts into the air and exploded: an improvised flare. I felt my temple riddle with veins, oh ho…so she thinks she can get away like that…BITCH!

Higgs hoped to last for reinforcements.
But I came at her with ferocity akin to a fiend.

Higgs scarcely hoped to be alive at all.
Searing her blade, the squire and I clashed, sending sparks with each hit, Higgs pushed hard but I came back with all I had to bear sending Higgs reeling despite hits past my guard not registering at all to the me.

Blow after blow.
Razor edge to razor edge.
We bashed our blades, the dins of our hits rang out despite the commotion of what I caused earlier.

This squire was no novice, but she was no master either as we continuously chipped at each other with our singing blades. But I could feel the wariness in the squire, the lag between hits getting wider and wider, the smell of fear and desperation hung in the air as Higgs even attempted to feint and flee but I leapt clean over her and tried to slice her head off but she parried the death blow.

Lucky bitch~!

In desperation Higgs swath her blade in ice and slammed it into my sword, frost covered it and she did so again and again before I realized the repercussion: breaking it to brittle piece and lodged into my collarbone. I gave a bestial roar muscling through it and slashed Higgs with grown claws, leaving her on the grass, bleeding.

Standing over her, I relished beating Higgs knowing this was Marco's skill level.
I readied to land the deathblow, before I realized the sword lodged in me was rapidly spreading hypothermia.

Glancing between Higgs and the upcoming knights, I pulled the sword free and sending a wave of ice shards knocking the knights over. Fiendishly laughing at the unmoving bodies, I bore down on Higgs,
"Ah, this sword is a perfect~ I suppose that's a fair trade, no? This sword—for your pathetic life~"

I didn't care for Higgs's outraged face even as I turned away and delved back into the darkness, even as Higgs swore up and down she would kill me.

My good mood was short lived.
As I raced for my hideout I ran into a well dressed lizard in some sort of grove, he looked at with discerning eyes.

"…"
"..." Inhale. Exhale.

I didn't say a word to him.

I brought the sword in a stunning arc, the lizard gracefully dodged, even my follow-up proved futile as he simply moved out of the way, shredding some flowers was my only reward. Although, it did seem to upset him.

"You got moves, lizard face."
"…hmph."

I didn't even see him punch me square in the jaw before grabbing me with his tail and flung me far. I spun in the air and landed without a hitch, I readied to throttle the lizard when he stood there no longer.

"…pity, he would have made a fine scabbard for this sword."

.

It took me a few days but I finally learned enough about the sword to conjure up some blistering flames and frigid cold. I knew my raid on the Butterfly Kingdom wouldn't go unpunished as Moon predictably called down the thunder: the Magic High Commission to hunt me down.

I could tell Moon hesitated to call upon their aid.
If the Magic High Commission was on patrol they didn't inspire hope and stability.
Quite the opposite especially with my doing: they spread fear, the same fear I had been cultivating with Lizard that something big and dangerous was stalking across Mewni and they had to get the 'Elites' to deal with it.

Ooh, watch Mewni's populace shake when the MHC came across their town, thinking they would be ravaged because of their mere presence! They could blitz through the blockade too…but the damage was already done, from what I heard conflict had already begun~

Spiderbite versus Kelpbottom.
Cloud versus Jaggy Mountain.

Ah, the royals were too riled up.
Talks wont be afforded until they were bloody up first~
So the MHC were stretched with breaching the blockade, searching for me and other insignificant things.

With them busy…time to deal with the other kingdom that I could hardly tolerate, I don't know…I just feel indifferent to the place.

Oh well.

With Marco's magic sword in hand, I descended upon the Underworld.
My onslaught would be undeniable~

The magic sword quenched its icy blade with burning demon blood, icicle missiles from the sword, exploding apart hordes of demons.

My assault did not go unnoticed as it seemed Butterfly Kingdom didn't keep information to themselves and rapidly spread the description of me and my cohorts, unfortunately I rotated my mooks regularly so it was rather pointlessly. Sometimes Mewmans, Monsters and a mix of the two, but this time I went at it alone.

They were looking for an army marching down to the capital so they overlooked a singular threat: myself. And oh they paid dearly for it~

Hood on hand and ice sword to brave the heat, I cut them asunder.
Of course, since I left no demon alive, they could only guess who killed them after they examined the bodies, they couldn't believe that a single individual was capable of tearing apart squads of demons. So they continued to investigate aimlessly while I moved closer and closer to the castle.

I scaled the lofty castle and using the ice stave off the lava heat long enough to eavesdrop and sneak in, learning of hidden artifacts and such. One immediately caught my attention:
the Hell Crusader armor.

It was held in a vault down below the castle.
Weapons, armor and treasures kept out of prying eyes and in case of devastation.
Ooh, I wanted it!

I moved stealthily and quickly, freezing locks and giving it a good whack as I descend deeper, the heat grew just oppressive the more floors I dropped, even the brickwork went from stylish red and gray to charred black.

I wiped the sweat off my face before I came across two Hell Knights guarding the entrance.
I forgo the formalities, this heat just made my blood boil.

I stepped into their line of sight and they brandish brimstone fire at me, I slid as they reached for the chain for the alarm the other to yell. Ice froze the chain, along with his hand before I lopped it off and gutted the other knight.

I grunted when a spike stud gauntlet collided with my face, I snarled as the one arm knight didn't go down, he charged and rammed me into the war, horned helm piercing into me.

"INTRU—AAGH!"
I brought my fist down, caving in his helm before I did so again, my fist glowed and I punched right through him: metal, flesh, bone and then air. I shoved his body off me and I picked up my sword and began to freeze then punch the vault door.

The extreme switch from heat to freezing coupled with my magic enhanced hits buckled the door, but not before the dins and clangs alerted the other knights. I waved the sword and made a wall of ice as I quickly searched the vault, to be sure there were marvels but I cared for them naught.

I wanted the armor—FUCKING PLACE IS BURNING ME ALIVE.
I slid myself into the armor, the sound of ice being hacked did not help as I literally rivet myself with the blacken metal suit.

"In there!"
"Hurry!"
"Chop—quit making snow cones and you stop licking the walls!" "I crave the salt."

I don the helm before turning to face the vault door, I picked up a long handle double axe with an eye motif and chucked it through the ice wall, crumpling the Hell Knight. I pulled more weapons and thin the numbers as I threw them clean through the ice wall, impaling them before they fled.

I looked at the last weapon I had ready: the Misery Rose, inscribed upon the black blade. It looked ridiculous, it had a leaf shaped blade but it had jagged pieces jutting out, I tucked it away nonetheless.

I smashed through the ice and ran back upwards, I wasn't surprised when I could hear the Hell Knights ready for me at the end. So was I. Instead of tearing through their corpses, I frost the floor before making massive ice spires and spike tearing from below, the poor saps tried to flee but with the floor slick they only served to crash and skid with abandon.

I made a few more ice spires for good measure before I charged through any resistance, using the ice I bobsled myself through the hallways and corridors, freezing more floor for me to make my getaway.

I smashed through the front door, the Hell Knights were hot on my tail before I conjure up massive ice slabs and began to bombard the castle, plugging up the entrance.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"
I glanced up to see the princeling, I flipped him off before he came tearing down.
"THAT IS MINE!"
"TOUGH LUCK HONEY~"

I quipped as I swap hands with the demon Mewman, I laughed when the fireballs bounced off me and even demonic magic had trouble incurring anything more than glancing blows.

"TOM! GET BACK HERE!"

I spun away as Tom wiped his brow, I could spy the King and Queen on a balcony.
Perfect~

I snapped Marco's sword and unleashed a frigid gale vortex, Tom shot forward to intercept it as his parents dived for cover,

"NO!"
"YESSS~"

The prince tried to beat it with his hellfire and he did but he wasn't counting on the explosion that followed and he crumpled into the ground. I raised the sword for a deathblow before I found myself crashing backwards.

I raised myself and saw the MHC Dimensional Scissor Enforcer: Hekapoo.

"Finally found you, psycho!" she snarled.
"Hmph, I was actually waiting for you." No I wasn't.

The answer made her pause as I square up with her, she held a Dimensional Scissor as her weapon. I laughed at it before she snapped it to the side and it turned itself into a sword, I grunted before leaving my own.

"Attacking Mewni royals…stealing their treasures, you are one brave idiot—!?"

I didn't care to banter with her, I slammed the frost-riddled sword into her own and she quickly regain footing and attacked. I rained blows on her before she took to evading, quickly understanding that I was far superior to her in strength as each blow she blocked sent her trembling.

Still that didn't stop me from hailing her, landing a blow and attempting to overpower her. To my surprised she pulled out a second sword from the first, making it shrink and leaving her with two short swords. I roared when she thrust the second into the helm slit and stabbed out one of my eyes!

"ARGH!"
"Urgh! Too freakin' strong!" she spun and kicked me and I bounced off the castle wall before she split into 10 of herself and began to combo tag me! She slashed a portal and threw me in before she took a clone and threw them sky high and making the exit portal.

I came crashing down, denting the ground.
I sent ice waves at her and 5 clones unleashed a fire tornado to stop it, hissing steam apparent. I made ice darts and flung them before the main Hekapoo cut a portal and they all leapt into it.

I could feel my eye heal.
"…" did she flee? No…

I leapt up as a portal opened beneath me before I threw ice darts into it, hearing a scream. Another portal appeared in from of me and a Hekapoo punched me back before I heard more portals open around me.

I covered myself as 9 Hekapoos came zipping out each punching, kicking or stabbing me with furious abandon wearing me down! Fuck! I managed to chop 2 of them before each one grabbed one of my limbs and pulled them through a portal.

I saw the portals unused close and a sickening thought ran through my head…
I pulled with all my strength managing to pull my limbs out and just in time—the Hekapoo arms were severed before vanishing.

I gasped for breath, "Bleeding heck…that was close—!?"

I grunt as a boot found my helm and I found myself backflipping and landing on my back.
3 Hekapoos glared down on me, they kicked Marco's sword away.

"Finally…got…you…" the lead Hekapoo panted, she looked worse for wear, the other two held the short swords at the ready.

Damnit.

"Let's chain up this idiot and bring it back to Queen Moon, she's gonna have a lot of questions…"

DAMNIT.

I lunged forward and the two Hekapoos stabbed me immediately into the helm, but I didn't need my eyes, not at this range. I grabbed the Misery Rose and snapped it into an arc forward, I heard slivers of something followed by screams.

I yanked out the swords and painfully waited for my eyes to heal, blinking back my vision I looked up the sight of Hekapoo impaled by black spiny spikes in the shoulder, arm and calf.

Huh. Where did those come from? And the injuries were in odd places: I was sure I would have hit her in the abdomen.

I looked at the sword and casually flick it, the jagged pieces came whizzing out and impaled the rock deeply. Hekapoo clutch the spikes as I recovered and march forward, she looked at me in disbelief,

"I stabbed you…three times in the damn face!"
"…you missed."

I brought the sword down only to have her roll aside, instead I took her horn and she cried at the cost of saving her skin.
More pain.

She was immobilized face down with the spikes still impairing her.
I took the horn, took Marco's sword and her Dimensional Scissor blades.
My ticket out.

Tom managed to rouse himself just as I readied to leave.
For the first time, I didn't have the energy to be arrogant over this victory.
I had nearly lost.

"Get…back here…coward…"
"…you know what Tom: you could have shut your damn mouth and I would have just left. Now, everyone will suffer for it."

I vehemently charged up Marco's sword and unleashed an ice wave for the castle freezing a majority of it before channeling the magic I stole from Moon. I visualized something massive and it materialized as a spike studded gauntlet and caved half of the castle, killing who-cares inside.

The left over ice slabs slid into the lava moat cooling it solid.
Screams of the living made Tom's face drain out of color as I tore myself a portal.
I glanced at Hekapoo before grabbing her by the horn, uncaring if she screamed and struggled as the spikes bent.
I dragged her away with me.

.

"..." Raymond quietly closed his friend's eyes, he was to meet him along the river when he saw his body floating and fished him out with all haste.

He was already dead, he had bled out.
But he clutched in his hand was a bit of wax paper and desperately scrawled by a charcoal tip already beginning to blemish:
sape shift Ne

Raymond called the rest of the Knights of the Hood and took the body for burial, Tad looked at the note, a creeping dread welling in all of the KotH.

"Commander Tad...what do we do?"
"...prepare."

XxXxXxXxX

Hey avid readers.
Not feeling a 100% as of late. I was out of commission for a while.
A rather demonic storm just made where I used to live literally unlivable.
So...it's been a fuckin' shitty living situation right now.

*sigh* I'm not one for giving up...but this ain't it, chief.
IRL demands so much from me, I dunno if I can even finish this fic now.
...I never want to treat fanfic writing as a burden but when I put it ahead of some things then, I just feel rotten.

.

.

.

The political side of the fanfic may not be for everyone but as a recap:
Butterfly + Pigeon + Cloud = Abstain
Kelpbottom + Jaggy Mountain = Agreed
Johansen + Spiderbite + Lucitors = Rejected

If you noticed those who abstained got wrecked minus Butterfly since they were the facilitator; those Agreed became the Civil War Heralds and those Rejected gave power to Darcy.

Also, there's been something bugging me about Glossaryck, that mofo likes to say he doesn't have a side and neutral and I believe that to an extent HOWEVER in canon, the MHC fuck things pretty badly and since we know that they came from Glossaryck I believe he became neutral AFTER expelling the MHC from himself. Each MHC member holds some sort of 'bias' of Glossaryck and when they die they go back into him slowly reverting him back to his base form instead of his split. Just some musing of mine, FYI = I do not own that book Nefcy recently publish so I'm going off in my conjecture.

Next Chapter [maybe]:
Darcy : Mewman in Disguise

tu ne me reconnaiss pas?
I AM NRG

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