Dreams and Desires

Chapter 16

Remorse

*I own nothing and any similarities with any other works are purely coincidental.

Lloyd didn't know to think. He felt his heart racing, beating so quickly that he thought it would burst through his chest. Seeing Harumi alive again was the only thing he had ever desired; the one dream Lloyd had fought through thick and thin to achieve. But the moment was bittersweet; their blissful reunion forever tainted by the strange circumstances of her return. Harumi had horrifically tortured him, playing on his insecurities for her own personal gain. And Lloyd suddenly felt violated and exposed; he had unknowingly been sharing his deepest and most personal feelings with his former girlfriend. Lloyd had openly wept in front of Harumi, professing his love for her without a second thought, and she had responded with cold indifference. Why did she do this to me? What I have possibly done to deserve all this pain?

Tears began to form in his eyes, a contradictory mix of joy and sadness. Lloyd was so happy to finally have his love back, but at the same time he felt miserable and lonely. She had betrayed his trust once again, sending another sharp blow to his already vulnerable heart. None of it made any sense to him, and Lloyd desperately needed answers. Using his essence of energy as a crutch, Lloyd pushed away all of his tears and got up from the sand. "You have a shit ton of explaining to do." he remarked, crossing his arms in annoyance. As he always did, Lloyd chose to ignore and bottle up his emotions.

Harumi felt slightly dejected by his reaction. Lloyd had every right to hate her of course, every possible reason to be upset. She had maliciously hurt him, caused Lloyd a lifetime of worth of pain and suffering. But a small part of her had still cared for the shy blond. Those feelings had infuriated the Jade Princess, and she had been very successful in repressing them. But Harumi could not deny her emotions any longer; why else had she refused to kill Lloyd? Time and time again she had spared him, and Harumi finally realized it was because she didn't want to live without him. But so much damage had already been done; could Lloyd ever trust her again?

Harumi sighed, before quietly answering. "What would you like to know first?"

"Oh, I don't know." Lloyd answered, his temper rising as he continued. "Maybe let's start with how it is that you're even alive right now!" he screamed. "And when the hell did you get Elemental Powers?!"

"I'm not entirely sure myself." Harumi honestly answered. "When the building collapsed, the power just suddenly appeared, as if it the element decided in that instance to choose me. I was able to form my own shield and in doing so I survived the fall unscathed. I spent the next few months learning all I could about the Element of Dreams. And then…" Her voice trailed off, and she looked down in shame.

"And then you kidnapped me." Lloyd said flippantly, finishing Harumi's thought for her. "And then you proceeded to brutally torture me, making my life once again a living hell. You know, I actually tried to kill myself on multiple occasions because of just how much you've hurt me!"

"I know." she mumbled. "I've spent most of my life blinded by grief and rage, and I'm sorry that you ever got caught up in my madness."

Lloyd's face softened at the statement, finding her admission of humility and guilt relatively surprising. "Rumi, don't say things like that." he quietly said, all of the anger quickly vanishing from his voice. He had never seen this side of her before, a far more vulnerable and conflicted Harumi. The thought was disheartening; despite all the tremendous pain she had caused him, Lloyd didn't want to hurt her.

"If I may so boldly inquire," he began, attempting to shift the topic of conversation, "what exactly are your powers? I'm guessing based on context clues that you can put people to sleep, and create illusions, but I haven't seen much else."

Her face brightened at the question, and she was eager to discuss her element. "Well, in addition to putting people to sleep, I can erase a person's memories." Seeing Lloyd's eyes go wide, Harumi clarified that, "Don't worry Lloyd, I can only use the power to erase information learned since the last time a person was asleep. Meaning it's less than a day in most cases. And, um, I may have used that power on four of your ninja friends." she admitted, feeling another twinge of guilt.

"What?!" he yelled, furious that she had done anything to hurt his friends.

"I only did it so they wouldn't remember when you went rogue and attacked them!" Harumi cried, pleading for Lloyd to understand. "I hope that's okay with you." Lloyd looked dumbfounded, but he quickly shook himself from the state. "Oh, uh, yeah, I mean that's something I'd rather forget myself too."

"Not a chance Lloyd, because then you would forget about me as well." Harumi answered, smiling softly at him. "It's either all or nothing, I can't control how much a person forgets." Lloyd simply nodded curtly in response, but the statement was very confusing to him. Does she actually like me? he asked himself, She seems to be truly genuine this time, I mean why else would she not have knocked me out already?

"Additionally, considering that I am the Master of Dreams, I can manipulate a person's dreams. Which I may have done with all of yours for the past few weeks." Harumi looked away again, now on the verge of tears. She had treated him so horribly, and she was worried that Lloyd might never forgive her.

Lloyd's eyes went wide with shock. He had previously thought that his brain was just being coy with him, but of course it had been Harumi. His constant nightmares, all of his pained and fragmented visions were entirely her fault. "So you're saying that you directly influenced every single terrible dream I had?" She nodded slightly, still refusing to look at the insecure blond. It was difficult for Lloyd to process all the information, he was forced to reevaluate everything that had happened since his nightmares began. But his any semblance of anger quickly faded as he remembered just how sensual some of his dreams had been. "Even the one where you were… touching me?" he asked, his voice awash with concern and puzzlement.

Harumi's face turned bright red, blushing furiously in response. "Yes." she whispered, suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed and flustered. At the time, Harumi had found the scenario she devised somewhat arousing, but had pushed the salacious thought from her mind. Harumi had told herself that she was only doing it to confuse and ensnare Lloyd, but there wasn't much point in repressing her feelings any longer.

"Does that mean that… that you actually like me?" he asked, his voice shaky and hesitant. Lloyd had never felt so nervous in all of his life, so utterly scared and apprehensive. She meant more to him than anything else, and there was a lot riding on her answer. My entire mental state and well being for a start.

Harumi took a few deep breaths, trying desperately to calm her nerves. She looked up at Lloyd, and gazed longingly into his green eyes. Behind the bright glow of energy, Harumi could see that he was tired and worn; physically and mentally drained. There was a level of growth and understanding that far exceeded his youthful nature. Lloyd was already holding back his expectations, still tremendously afraid that she would reject him. He was not the same person she had met just a year ago, Harumi was sure of that now. Lloyd had gone through more trauma and hardship in that time than most would experience in a lifetime, and she was entirely to blame. Despite how sad and broken he was, Harumi still saw the same confident and driven person he had been before. Deep down, Lloyd was still the man she had idolized and dreamed of as a child.

"Yes, I, I think so." she stuttered, anxiously nodding her head. Lloyd felt so immeasurably relieved, as if a great weight had finally been lifted off of his shoulders. He was overjoyed, practically beginning to tear up. It had been a year since he had first met the Jade Princess Harumi, and now they were finally, truly together. Harumi smiled tensely in response, and reached up to undo the clasp to her cloak. It fell to the ground in a heap, and she quickly wrapped Lloyd in a tight embrace.

"Rumi." Lloyd said affectionately, slightly purring her name. "I've missed you." This wasn't a dream or a memory, it was real. Lloyd had his soul mate back at last, and it was better than he could have ever dreamed of. It certainly wasn't how he would have pictured it, but it seemed that nothing in the past few weeks had played out like how anyone would have expected. "I know." Harumi said quietly, still feeling tremendously ashamed of her actions. Lloyd was such a kind person, and she had played on his fears and insecurities for far too long. Hearing the doubt and worry still in her voice, he pulled back from the hug and looked at her rather sternly. His expression was a mix of frustration and worry, and it put Harumi very much on edge. Lloyd sighed slightly, and the harshness quickly dissipated from his face. "I forgive you."

"Really?" she asked shakily, quite surprised by Lloyd's sudden and quick reprieve. "I've treated you so horribly that… at this point I don't deserve to have you anymore." she said solemnly.

"Rumi, I love you." Lloyd responded; he finally felt secure and confident enough to admit his feelings. "Despite all the pain that you've caused me, I could never get myself to hate you. Not even after I thought you had died. And you should know that by now, considering how much you messed with my head over the past few days."

"Yeah… sorry about that." she said sheepishly, although his sentiment had been very reassuring to her. "The powers of my element are pretty sparse and limited, but each one has the potential to be used for devastating effect. I guess that's why your uncle tried to take out the previous master, out of fear that they would abuse the powers. Although from what I've heard he only ended up killing his wife. " Lloyd's face went pale, she had answered a pressing question he had been meaning to ask. "So you weren't making that whole thing up?"

"No, at least from what I've researched anyway." Harumi answered, frowning slightly. "Granted it was extremely hard to learn about the element due in part to a tremendous lack of documentation but also because I'm legally dead." she said sarcastically. Lloyd laughed at the statement, but there was certainly truth to the assessment. "I guess I hadn't considered that." he admitted honestly. "That probably makes life rather difficult."

"Yeah, I can't really go anywhere without some sort of disguise. And of course I also have to change my voice, but that's easy enough to do. I am a very talented actress after all." she said with her deeper voice, bowing in an over dramatic fashion.

"It certainly fooled me." Lloyd answered, finding himself in awe of how just cunning Harumi could be. "I never in a million years would have guessed that you were the Master of Dreams. You played the part of a conniving and manipulative asshole quite well, I mean you literally called yourself a bitch during your whole resurrection proposition thing." he said, chuckling slightly at the absurdity and over the top nature of her performance.

"I still can't believe you fell for that bullshit!" she cried, falling into a fit of laughter. The joy quickly left her face however, replaced by mournful feelings of regret. "I never actually intended to hurt you this time." Harumi added quickly. "I really wanted you to turn against your friends, but it was just because I wanted you all to myself." she said, a seductive smile crossing her face.

"Oh, don't worry. You have my undivided attention." Lloyd answered, moving his hand up gently to brush the hair off of her face. Harumi felt herself back away slightly, but his touch was soothing to her. When they had first met, she had been the confident and fearless one, working to break through Lloyd's insecure and shy nature. But now it seems their roles had flipped, for he now was having to deal with Harumi's guilt and self-consciousness. Lloyd was still having a bit of difficulty wrapping his mind around the fact that she was actually standing in front of him, but he had to move past his shock for her sake. Harumi just needed someone to comfort her right now, and he would try his best to help.

"I'm still somewhat confused how you ended up as the Master of Dreams." he said, attempting to once again shift the conversation away from his torture. "I've always been taught that Elemental Powers were passed down through families, that they exist only within descendants of one of the original Elemental Masters."

Her face brightened at the question, as she was always excited to discuss her newfound power. It had become a true source of pride for Harumi, and the fact that she knew more than Lloyd about a specific topic was also a bonus. "Yes, that is usually the case." she conceded. "But based on what I read at the Ancient Library of Domu, I don't think it's possible for an Elemental Power to truly die out; they're literally ingrained into the very fabric of Ninjago itself. I mean, haven't you ever wondered how Zane ended up as the Master of Ice?" Lloyd considered her question carefully. Come to think of it, yeah, it doesn't make any sense that a nindroid like him could have gotten the powers through his bloodline; he has no blood for crying out loud!

"No, I guess I never actually thought about it." he honestly answered.

"Well, there are two other known ways that an Element can acquire a new host." Harumi said. "I am not entirely sure which one of these happened in regards to Zane's power, but obviously one of them did. Firstly, an Elemental Master can willingly give away their power. An Elemental Master's powers can also be stolen or otherwise stripped away by force, but that can never be permanently binding. I mean, you managed to get your Essence of Energy back and all. Sorry about that by the way." she said quietly before continuing her explanation.

"Now, the second way is one that previously only existed in theory. After some more research, I learned that the previous Master of Dreams had died on the same day I got a building dropped on me. I think his name was Dominick, although apparently he went by the hypocorism Dom."

"Huh. I've never heard that as a name before." Lloyd remarked. And what the hell does hypocorism mean?

"Yeah, I hadn't either. Regardless, when he passed on to the Departed Realm, the Element of Dreams chose me to be its new host. I'm not sure if it could somehow sense the trouble I was in, or if it was by pure chance, but I am very thankful that it did. And yeah, I am now living proof that when an Elemental Master dies while still possessing their element, the element just picks a new host. "

"If what you're saying about Elemental powers is indeed true, than you actually wouldn't be the first evidence of that." Seeing a suspicious and accusatory expression, Lloyd quickly elaborated on his point. "Have you heard of Morro, the ghost responsible for the attack on Stiix a few years back?"

"I think I remember hearing about that, yes."

"Well, Morro was also the last Elemental Master of Wind. He actually died like 40 years ago, but his spirit was banished to the Cursed Realm; keeping his powers intact. But with the destruction of the Cursed Realm, his spirit finally passed on to the Departed Realm. At the time of his death, Morro had no heirs and he had not given away his power, so presumably the Element of Wind went and found itself another host." Although come to think of it, why haven't we ever met the new Master of Wind?

"Dammit! Stupid bad luck." Harumi whispered under her breath. "I really thought my accomplishment was unique and ground-breaking, but I guess not."

"Well based on my experience, luck doesn't really exist in Ninjago." Lloyd said, frowning slightly. "I never chose to be the Green Ninja, it was foretold that I would wear the green gi. I visited the writers of destiny once before, although I was possessed by Morro at the time." He shivered at the memory, remembering just how horrible those few weeks had been for him. Seeing Harumi looking at him quizzically, he added, "That's a whole different story, and I don't want to talk about it." She was taken aback by his sharp tone, but wisely chose not to press the issue. Morro's possession had been one of the worst experiences of Lloyd's life, and it still contributed to his post-traumatic stress disorder. Obviously his intense suffering from the past year took general precedence, but Lloyd still had flashbacks of that incident every so often.

"As I was saying, the people in the Cloud Kingdom; that's one of the Realms parallel to Ninjago, they're in charge of everyone's destiny. Although they only really care about the big picture; we still have free will with our actions and all. Just because I was destined to become the Green Ninja doesn't mean that I actually have to fulfill my destiny. I mean, right now I am entirely ignoring my mandate to protect Ninjago."

This was all news to Harumi, and she didn't like one bit of it. "I think I'd like to visit this Cloud Kingdom some time. I have a few choice words for these writers of destiny." she said, with a bitter but somewhat sarcastic tone.

"Well, I think that will have to wait unfortunately." Lloyd laughed, finding her feisty reaction slightly amusing. "There are only two ways that I know to get there, and the first one involves stealing the Realm Crystal from Borg Tower. I already stole both the Golden Armor and the Sword of Sanctuary from old Cyrus, so I might want to lie low for a bit. Speaking of which, I guess we're both wanted criminals now. Just another reason why we are such a perfect match." he said completely seriously, opting to try for a bit of deadpan humor. Harumi smiled softly at the line, finding his muddled sentiment once again comforting.

"The only other way involves traveling all the way to the Wailing Alps, which is one of the coldest and most remote parts of Ninjago. I would also have to teach you Airjitzu, which is necessary to successfully enter the Blind Man's Eye." Seeing another look of confusion at his statement, Lloyd added, "It's a powerful storm cyclone that passes over the clouds of Ninjago, and it also happens to be the gateway into the Cloud Kingdom. But the only place high enough in Ninjago to reach it is the peak of the Wailing Alps, and from there you would need to use Airjitzu to jump through the storm."

"Well, I guess those pretentious pricks can wait. Because right now I want to spend time with my boyfriend." Harumi said affectionately, moving to kiss him on the cheek. Lloyd's face flushed with color, as awkward as always. The term of endearment was a very simple gesture, but Lloyd had never been addressed in such a way before. He felt his worries and concerns begin to melt away, but with a tremendous effort Lloyd managed to sidestep her advances. As much as he wanted to give into his desires, he still needed answers. "Well of course." Lloyd answered slowly. "But I still have more questions Rumi."

She felt her heart sink at being rejected, but she quickly brushed it off with a bit of humor. "Damn. I really thought that my irresistible charm and seductive techniques would be able to distract you from your incessant queries, but alas." Harumi said mockingly, complete with a series of overly-dramatic hand movements. "What would you like to know about next?"

"Alright, this should be a fun one." Lloyd said, a devious grin across his face. "Tell me Rumi, is having me tied up actually one of your kinks?" Her face went bright red again, and she found herself mindlessly stuttering. "Uh, well, I mean it's…" Her voice trailed off, too embarrassed to admit her most secret sexual preferences.

"So I take it, that's a yes?" he concluded. She stared back at him in utter bewilderment. Harumi was shocked, completely flabbergasted by not only his accurate reasoning, but more so by the rather forward question. "Yeah, that it is actually a turn on for me." she mumbled.

"Thank you." Lloyd said flatly, but he was still grinning smugly. He had enjoyed toying with her feelings there, it was a nice bit of payback for how much she had messed with his emotions over the past year. Hopefully now she can understand just how humiliated that can be.

"Now, if I may so boldly inquire, why exactly are you dressed like that?" Lloyd asked. The question had been nagging at him ever since she had taken off her green cloak; it was a very different look compared to how he had seen her before. And if I'm being frank, it doesn't really look that good on you Rumi. Lloyd wisely chose to keep that comment to himself.

Harumi looked down at her outfit, having completely forgotten what she was wearing. "Oh, uh, since I had to change my voice anyway to avoid recognition, I decided that pretending to be a guy would be a smart idea. I think it fit a lot better with how much of a douche I was being, and it also meant you were a lot less likely to discover my identity. That's why I wore this outfit. It's not really that masculine, but the plain design and how the shirt is sewn gives that impression. I only wore the cloak so I could better hide my face, as well as my… breasts." she admitted, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"Um, yeah…" he said, finding the topic of conversation extremely awkward. Her breasts are rather nice- Lloyd quickly changed the subject before he got too fixated upon just how attractive she was. "How did you get all the stuff that was furnishing your section of the prison?"

"I may have borrowed a few things from your Monastery." she said slyly. "After I abducted you, your friends went to stay on your flying ship thing, which meant the place was completely unguarded. So I snuck in and took a few things, including your bed, one of the television sets, a bunch of food from the fridge, a generator and satellite dish, as well as Jay's entire collection of Fritz Donnegan comic books."

"He won't be happy about that, well, if he ends up surviving that is." Lloyd looked crestfallen, suddenly remembering that he had actually left two of his closest friends on the brink of death. "Oh god…"

Harumi had been dreading this moment, that he would want to go check on his friends. But she might be able to keep Lloyd from leaving her by feeding him some mostly true information. "I analyzed your injuries after your fall, and if Jay is as badly hurt as you were, he might not survive." she bluntly stated. Lloyd looked up at her in surprise; he was very intrigued to learn that Harumi had any sort of medical knowledge. "Yes, I happen to be a trained physician." she answered quickly. "I had a quite a lot of free time when I was a princess, and being an expert in human anatomy is very useful in order to kill them more effectively." Lloyd's eyebrows raised at her rather brutal honesty, but she continued before he could question it further.

"Luckily for Jay, a group of paramedics had arrived for him before we left, so he is almost certainly getting emergency treatment as we speak. As for Kai, I think he'll be alright. His windpipe had been crushed, but he was still breathing and capable of speech, so at least his airway wasn't blocked anymore. I put him to sleep so that he wouldn't strain himself further, but I suppose leaving him on the roof wasn't a very good idea."

Seeing the furious expression on Lloyd's face, Harumi quickly added that, "I had to go and find you! I'm sorry for leaving your friends, but you were just too important to me. It's possible that the hospital people would have been able to save you, but I couldn't take that chance." Lloyd's anger dissipated, but he was still worried. "And I suppose if either of them are still in critical condition, then having to fly across the ocean would have me arriving too late to effectively do anything?" he asked. Lloyd was uncomfortable with putting their lives in the hands of others, but he didn't seem to have much of a choice.

"If either of them are in such immediate peril, then yes, that would probably take too long." Harumi answered. "Even on your fancy Golden Dragon it would be at least a 30 minute flight. But I think that Kai will be alright, and Jay should be receiving urgent medical care right now. There's just not that much you can do, well, unless you wanted to teleport using your Oni powers again…" she said nervously.

"No!" Lloyd yelled. "I will never do that again, I can't control myself in that form. I could end up hurting them, or you." he said, his eyes welling with tears.

Thank goodness. she thought. Harumi was very pleased to hear that he had reacted so negatively to the idea. That horrifically corrupted and twisted Lloyd had frightened her, and now that she was finally with him again, the last thing she had wanted was to see him gone.

"Well, there are certainly worse things than being stuck on a deserted island with you." Lloyd said, bringing her into another tight embrace. He tilted his head to rest against her shoulder, burying himself in her luscious hair. Being close to her was always so reassuring and comforting, and all of his worries for his friends began to wash away. But Lloyd suddenly remembered a detail from what Harumi had stated earlier, and found another pressing question to ask. "Wait, did you say that you took my bed?" he asked, pulling back to look at her once again.

"Oh, yeah, I did. I'm sorry, it's just that green is my favorite color, so I took yours in case I wanted to sleep." Lloyd's face brightened at the compliment, as he had been meaning to ask about that. He hadn't been sure whether or not Harumi still liked green, what with her element being associated with cyan and all, and it was very nice to hear that she still cared for his color.

"I guess in hindsight the decision was pretty rude and somewhat awkward," Harumi continued, "but I hope that it doesn't bother you that much."

Lloyd shook his head, although he still seemed somewhat insecure and worried. "No, uh, that's fine." he stiffly responded. Then Lloyd got a delightfully devilish idea, and a very mischievous grin suddenly appeared on his face. "Rumi?"

Harumi found herself somewhat concerned, as she was unsure what Lloyd could be getting at. His smile was impish, but not insidious. It was distinctly different from how Lloyd had looked when he had been corrupted, this face was more playful and jaunty. "Yes?" she answered,

"Do you think that we could share my bed tonight?" he asked courageously, somehow managing to hide just how scared and insecure he felt about the question.

Harumi didn't know what to say. She was shocked by just how audacious and brazen he was being, but she had to admit, part of her was aroused by his unfounded cockiness. It was commanding, dominant and assertive. This was a far more confident and headstrong Lloyd than she had ever seen, and it was intoxicating.

"I don't see the harm in that." she answered, adopting a naughty and rather provocative grin.