Dreams and Desires
Chapter 17
Fragility
*I own nothing and any similarities with any other works are purely coincidental.
"Lloyd…"
Looking over at the sound, he saw in surprise that Kai had stirred. He was still incredibly weak, but was evidently conscious and able to speak again. The ninja was reaching out towards his former friend; his eyes desperately imploring Lloyd to stop and reconsider his actions. The sight was instantly stupefying; freezing him in his tracks. Kai looked nearly identical to how Lloyd had while he was imprisoned; beat and battered to the point of death.
In his moment of contemplation, Lloyd felt another bolt of lightning hit him, this time so sudden and unexpected that he was thrown backwards. Jay had managed to summon his Elemental Power despite being gruesomely impaled, and the strike broke through Lloyd's concentration; freeing the blue ninja from the tendril impaling him. Lloyd spun through the air, landing face first right up against the edge of the tower. And then he found himself falling off the side of the roof, a location that was over a hundred stories tall.
Lloyd could see the ground approaching him, but he wavered in his actions. There were numerous, countless different ways he could save himself from the impact. Survival would be easy and practically effortless, he only had to try. But Lloyd found that he didn't really want to live anymore. As horrid as the thought was, he could find no particular reason to continue his miserable existence any further. Lloyd had pushed away all of his friends, and had lost his only love. He was truly alone and isolated in the world.
"What is he doing?" Jay questioned. It didn't make sense, Lloyd was simply refusing to do anything about his current predicament. Without the help of his powers, the fall would almost certainly be fatal. Jay sighed to himself, annoyed and worried that he would have to save his friend from committing suicide. He could utilize his Lightning as a crutch to temporarily take flight, and so Jay attempted to activate his Electrokinetic Flight, only in reverse. Using his electricity as a boost, Jay rocketed down the side of the tower, quickly catching up with his falling friend. Looked over at Lloyd, he saw that his face was marred by feelings of sadness and apprehension.
"Summon your Golden Dragon!" he screamed, straining his voice through the air whipping past their faces. Lloyd looked down, as if he considered the option, but he refused. Jay sighed, before reaching out and grabbing his hand. Simultaneously conjuring his Elemental Shield, he prayed that it would be able to protect them from harm. Lloyd wrenched at the arm, desperately trying to break free of Jay's grasp, but he was unsuccessful. Then the ground hit them both and everything went black.
Jay woke with a start, his body shaking and drenched in sweat. The nightmare had felt so vivid and real, which was probably because it had been. Jay's last recorded memory had been playing through his mind, constantly repeating itself throughout the many procedures and surgeries he had endured in the past day. In reality he was extremely lucky to be alive, but Jay was incapable of thinking about himself. And he was not wishing for his girlfriend either.
No, the only person on his mind was Lloyd, their former friend and leader. He had turned on them, lashed out against the only people who had ever truly cared for him. The betrayal had hurt Jay more than anything, even more than when Cole had gotten in the way of his relationship with Nya. Cutthroat and utterly merciless in his crimes, Lloyd had spared no bit of cruelty in his attack. He had been calculated and cold, but there had been a rather subtle arrogance to it all. And yet, despite all of the atrocities he had committed, Jay couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
In reality Lloyd had not lost because of overconfidence, but Jay would never be able to understand just how conflicted his friend had truly been. Lloyd had only ever opened himself to a single person, and she came before all others in his mind. For underneath the blinding rage and limitless power had been a fundamentally broken man. Lloyd had, on numerous occasions, attempted to end his own life, and in that moment, Jay simply needed to know whether he had actually survived. I just want my friend back!
He tried to get up but found that he could not move. Looking down Jay was shocked to find that two of his limbs were in casts, and his entire body was tightly fastened to a hospital bed. Oh right, I jumped off a one-hundred story building. In retrospect the injuries were not surprising, but it was still infuriating to him. Jay squirmed against the restraints, feeling trapped and suffocated by a claustrophobic sense of fear, but it was to no avail. The straps could not be broken, not when he was in such a weakened state. He felt helpless and vulnerable, but any semblance of anger soon vanished as the door to his room burst open.
"Jay!" Nya yelled excitedly, bounding across the room without delay to see how her beloved boyfriend was faring. Jay smiled weakly at his love, wincing slightly as a sharp pain shot through his jaw. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief and wrapped him in a tight hug. Zane sidled in after her, but he stood back to let the couple have their moment. As a nindroid he had had little to no emotional reaction when first hearing the heart-wrenching news, but he was still glad to see that his brother had indeed survived. It was a bittersweet moment though; Zane had never actually seen the news report, and as such he was unprepared for the disturbing image before him. The injuries were numerous, and he would never have guessed that any of his friends could ever be damaged to such an extent.
Jay felt a wave of intense pain flooding through his already bruised ribs, and Nya quickly pulled back from the embrace. She was immeasurably relieved to find out that he was alive, but she was equally taken aback by his appearance. It was a horrendously morbid image, the likes of which Nya had never seen. He was battered and bruised, far more than the news could have accurately displayed. Numerous gashes and cuts ran across his face, his skin coated with dried blood and dirty rubble. How could this have happened? She was unable to comprehend how the person who was most dearest to her had been turned into a mutilated corpse. Although it was what she desperately sought in the moment, Nya would not have been able to handle the truth.
"Jay… what, what happened?" she asked fearfully, her voice breaking and strained. Jay's goofy grin disappeared instantly as the horrific memory came flooding back to him. It was seared into his brain, and he feared that he would never forget the twisted look on Lloyd's face. Jay shook his head in resignation, refusing to answer the query. He wasn't in the mood to talk about it right now; he needed more time to process the information, and it was something he needed to do by himself.
Nya frowned curiously, perplexed by his silence. It wasn't like him at all to be so dismissive and quiet, and it worried her. Jay had always been the scared and insecure comedian, the talkative one who cracked jokes to cope with serious situations. Either he's hiding something, or it physically hurts him to speak. And Nya wasn't sure which one was more concerning.
Her worries were cut short as a very overworked doctor trudged into the room. Her eyes widened in surprise; evidently shocked to find that not only was Jay awake, but entertaining a pair of guests. "Oh, hello ninja." she said wearily, trying her best not to show the mounting frustration. The trio looked over, and Nya's face immediately fell flat. She had blatantly disregarded the guidelines regarding patient visitation, and was now going to be very politely kicked out of the room.
"As promising as it is to see you awake so soon Mr. Walker, I'm still going to have to ask your friends to leave." Jay looked up quickly, his face marred by a rather puzzled giddiness. He was confused by the plural noun, not understanding why she had mentioned multiple friends, before he suddenly noticed that Zane was standing off to the side. The titanium ninja smiled halfheartedly, but he offered little more than a curt wave in response.
"It was nice seeing you Jay." Zane said stiffly, before beginning to move towards the door.
"Wait…" Jay whispered tiredly. The voice was barely audible but very easy for his scanners to identify. Zane stopped, and slowly turned his attention back to the destitute man in the hospital bed. All three of the people gathered around were astonished to hear him speak; the doctor especially so, considering how his lungs were severely damaged in the fall. The emergency surgeries had clearly been effective, although he was very far from being healed.
There was but a single question on Jay's mind, and it had been subconsciously eating away at him for hours now. He needed to know the answer, it was more important to him than anything else in the moment. Trying his hardest to fight past the damaged lungs, cracked jaw, and every other disturbingly gruesome injury that he had suffered, Jay vocalized all of his conflicted emotions into three simple words.
"Where is Lloyd?"
The door to the shack burst open as the pair of star-crossed lovers stumbled in, awkwardly tripping over themselves in a tight embrace. Their lips were locked in an everlasting kiss, a fierce dance of fiery passion. Lloyd had never felt so alive, so utterly captivated and tempted. The sound of a rapid heartbeat pounded in his head, the heavy tension and pressure threatening to overload his brain. His mind was cleared of any nagging worries or lingering fears, for this moment was one of pure bliss. It was a feeling of devotion, a sense of intimate connection fueled by a burning lust and tender affection; Lloyd was besotted.
Harumi didn't know what to think and she didn't care. Just hours ago Lloyd had been locked in that same vengestone cell, where he had been brutally tortured by this same woman. She had spent her entire adult life plotting revenge, had risked literally everything in the hopes of avenging her parents. Lloyd had not been responsible for their death, but Harumi had nonetheless latched onto him as the outlet for her grief and misery. Yet, despite all of her careful and meticulous planning, she had seen her life flash before her eyes; Harumi had been very nearly killed by the very man she had idolized as a father.
But destiny had given her a second chance, another shot to make amends with her terrible past. Harumi had been generously gifted Elemental Powers, a dangerous force that offered her complete control over dreams. In the wrong hands the element could be used to terrible effect, and of course, she abused her abilities. When given the option to repent for crimes, Harumi instead chose to toy with Lloyd's emotions. Her powers could bewitch the mind and befuddle the senses, and he had unsurprisingly fallen for her antics. In truth, there had been very little that Harumi actually sought to accomplish. All she had wanted was to see the ninja rip each other apart, but in doing so she only succeeded in destroyed Lloyd.
Harumi had played with fire, unleashed a terrible scourge upon the realm of Ninjago. Lloyd's Oni blood had taken over, corrupted his very heart and soul. She was forced to reveal herself; it was the only thing that could have possibly calmed him, and indeed, Lloyd had never been happier. Harumi had spent so long blinded by anger that she did not know her own feelings. But she saw clearly now; she truly understood herself for the first time in years. And Harumi never wanted to lose him again.
The couple finally relented, pulling back from their entwined dance as they both became acutely aware of their surroundings. Harumi turned to see that the television was still on, and the broadcast was no longer static. Gayle Gossip was on the screen again, this time reporting from inside Ninjago City Hospital. Oh, so they got another camera crew running. It wasn't particularly shocking or unexpected, but she had certainly been wondering how effective her strike on NGTV News had been.
"I am now getting reports that Jay Walker, the blue ninja and current Elemental Master of Lightning, is expected to make a full recovery." Gayle said excitedly. "From what I've been told his surgeries appear to have gone quite well, and we'll be interviewing some of the doctors in just a moment." She smiled at the camera, letting the information sink in before taking on a more somber topic. "The news is not all good however, as the current whereabouts of Lloyd Garmadon are still unknown. The Golden Ninja has vanished, disappearing from the public eye just as quickly as before."
"Shit, I left the television on." Harumi muttered, completely ignoring the update on Jay's status. Lloyd was much more interested, for the revelation had lifted a metaphorical weight off of his shoulders. Finding out that his terrible rampage had not come at such a high cost was extremely helpful in soothing the tremendous guilt that had been weighing on him for hours.
"Oh, thank goodness, Jay is-what the hell happened?!" Lloyd interjected, suddenly noticed just how gross the flat was. The room was completely drenched in vomit, spilling out from the cell that he had called home. It had luckily missed most the furnishing of the room, but the partially digested chunks of food were very well entrenched within the stone ground. Harumi looked down in disgust, horrified by how poorly the place had been kept. Carefully sidestepped the putrid clutter, she moved to turn off the television.
"It must have one of those two ninja I captured, and judging from the fact that Zane is a nindroid who doesn't need to eat, it was probably Nya." Harumi replied nonchalantly, quickly turning back to her companion once was finished turning the television off. "I'm guessing the news broadcast was probably showing you and Jay on your deathbeds, or at least until I stopped them from recording."
She looked back at Lloyd, but could not see him. Harumi quickly remembered that the television had been the only form of light in the room, and she began to stumble around for the lamp. Lloyd quickly summoned his energy, using a pair of green flames to illuminate the surroundings. The light was dim and sparse, inadvertently casting certain parts of the room into complete darkness. Lloyd's face was awash, an array of shadows partially obscuring a proportional half. But it had an adverse effect, allowing for the visible part of his body that was in focus to almost glow. There was fire in his eyes, a burning ember of rage that sent goosebumps down her skin.
Harumi found the sight unsettling, and she was unnerving by just how symbolic it appeared to be. Lloyd had never been a simple person, and it was easy to forget that sometimes. Despite what his role dictated, the reality was that Lloyd was far from the wholly virtuous person that destiny would have you believe. There were two sides to him, the fabled hero and the furious hothead. And the latter was always fighting to break free, intensified by the Oni blood that coursed through his veins.
"What was that?" he asked slowly, trying desperately to quell the growing suspicion that was building within him. Harumi was certainly caught off guard by the sudden shift in tone, but she stood her ground. "Yeah, your old buddies Zane and Nya showed up pretty soon after you broke out. They were pretty rude and uncooperative."
"What did you do to my friends?" Lloyd asked sharply. Her attempt at sarcastic humor had only exacerbated the problem, and his patience was quickly evaporating. Lloyd had managed to accept nearly every bit of shocking information that Harumi had stated earlier, but his mental fortitude was at a breaking point. He was very much on edge, and her somewhat indifferent confession was only bringing to light a lingering sense of distrust in the very conflicted ninja.
"I didn't do anything!" she cried in exasperation. "They tried to attack me, so I just put them to sleep. I wiped their tarnished memories of you away and then left them in the cell." His eyes narrowed at the statement, but Lloyd's anger was starting to dissipate.
"I didn't have time to deal with either of them because I had to go after you." Harumi quickly added, trying to stress just how important he was. It worked, and Lloyd was suddenly thrust back into his normal state of mind. He blinked slightly, feeling slightly dazed as his darker side retreated back into the shadows. The overwhelming sense of worry and dread consumed him, and Lloyd collapsed, falling backwards onto the green bed that lay pushed against the wall. Harumi found the lamp and turned it on, before running over to him. She met his gaze with a tender smile but he rejected the advance, turning away out of shame.
"Lloyd…"
He held his head in his hands, unable to look Harumi in the eye. Lloyd was scared, utterly terrified beyond belief. He had lost himself, been partially consumed by the monster that dwelled deep within. His repressed feelings of anger had caused endless amounts of pain to the ones he cared about, and he now lived in fear of that darker side. "Why can't I control myself?" he asked quietly, his voice pained and heartbroken.
"There's nothing wrong with getting angry Lloyd, it's a fundamental part of being human." Harumi answered calmly, her tone slow and measured. "I would know, considering how much I held on to my anger." Lloyd ignored the lighthearted self-deprecation, his attention was elsewhere. She moved to comfort him but he abruptly stood up from the bed.
"No, it's more than that." he retorted, his voice showing signs of annoyance but definitively dominated by fear. "Because that's the thing Rumi, I'm not human!" Harumi tensed at the statement, horrified that he could ever think so little of himself. "Lloyd, don't say things like that." she whispered, her voice filled with sadness and regret.
"But it's true! I am part Oni, and that evil is always fighting against me. I have to control it or I could end up hurting the ones I love." he said, his eyes beginning to well with tears. "And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to you." Harumi sighed, feeling someone flattered by his protectiveness but equally concerned. She certainly understood his worries but she was not one to cower in fear.
"I love you for who you are, and that includes both your Oni and Dragon sides." Harumi said assuredly, moving to wrap him into a tight hug. Lloyd quickly buried himself into her shoulder, he definitely needed someone to lean on in that moment. But as much he found her presence soothing his mind began to race. He pulled back from the embrace, his eyes wide with surprise. "You, you love me?"
He still couldn't believe it. Lloyd had quite a bit of difficulty comprehending that any of what had occurred in the past day was actually real, but this was by far the most shocking thing yet. It had been a very simple gesture, but it meant all the world to him. That was the ultimate term of endearment, a truth only ever admitted after forming a deep and very personal attachment. Harumi chuckled slightly, constantly mystified by just how insecure Lloyd could be.
"Yes Lloyd, I love you." she answered honestly. "Even with you being cross-bred between species and everything." He laughed quietly at the remark, finally falling prey to her dry humor and unending charm. His worries began to slip away as he gazed longingly into her eyes; they were a stark shade of green that enveloped his very being. They truly complemented each other perfectly, two kindred spirits brought together by an unbreakable bond. She smiled sweetly, very glad to see that he was finally happy again.
"Funny you should mention breeding." Lloyd quipped, a sly grin forming across his face.
I'm back! Yeah it turns out that I couldn't really go without writing this angsty teenage romance, so here I am. I tried writing this into another story as a paired sequel but just gave up after a day and decided that I might as well continue it here instead. Hopefully I didn't just break the TOS lol
I'm not sure how I'm going to manage balancing this fanfic with An Ill Wind, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Expect more sporadic updates, the pace I wrote before was unsustainable and if I'm being honest it was probably unhealthy. I am very excited to get back to this story though, and I hope you guys are just as excited to read it again.
Oh, also the doctor is the same one who shows up in the episode "Under Siege." Obviously the events of Seasons 10 and 11 haven't been taken into account, as this story picks up after Hunted with the assumption that the Oni never showed up, but I am incorporating that character from the Fire Chapter. I'll probably give her a name at some point, I just haven't thought of one yet.