Dreams and Desires

Chapter 23

Jealousy

*I own nothing and any similarities with any other works are purely coincidental.

Nya couldn't believe what had just transpired, it didn't make any sense. She had seen her best friend at death's door only a day before, gazed upon his morbidly mangled corpse with her own two eyes. The entire world now thought him dead, for there was really no logical explanation for how he could have possibly survived the gruesome injuries. The mourning public had painted their golden boy as a martyr to some unknown cause, blindly assuming that he had given his all to protect them from some terribly dangerous force. Funnily enough that was technically true, as the most powerful man in Ninjago had indeed tried to end his own life. But the world of the living was not quite done with him yet, and as such the suicide attempt had gone horribly awry.

Lloyd was still holding all of his cards close to his chest, which meant that the only thing Nya had to grasp at was his rather cheeky grin. It was so strangely impish, an overly jaunty and playful look that she had never truly seen in him before. He was clearly not the same man he had been before, and while seeing him finally acting happy again was just about the most relieving thing that she could have imagined, it still concerned her immensely. It all seemed too good to be true, for there was no limp in his step, and in fact, she couldn't pick up on any sign of injury; it was almost as if he had never been hurt in the first place. This has to be a trick, some sort of illusion or apparition! Nya told herself, trying desperately to temper her expectations.

"How are you healed?" she asked tensely, her voice caught between suspicion and amazement. Lloyd quickly pulled the hood back, slightly whipping his head around to get the blond hair out of his face. His smile widened considerably, as he was gearing up to show off his powers rather than simply telling her the answer. Nya was further confused by his continued silence, but her puzzlement turned into pure shock as the hallway was suddenly flooded with light. His eyes had shifted once more from bright green to a blinding gold, as the enhanced energy began to effortlessly exude from his very skin. Lloyd snapped his head back into an upright position, easing up on his concentration as the creation began to take shape.

"Golden Power." he stated simply, holding up a stunning vase of flowers that he had literally conjured out of thin air. Nya didn't know what to say, she was utterly overwhelmed by conflicted emotions. A completely logical mind would have latched onto the fact that he had his powers back, as it essentially incriminated him in the heist at Borg Tower; Lloyd had just revealed that he was somehow involved in that criminal conspiracy. Using the stolen Golden Armor was the only solid explanation for how he could access the Elemental Essence once again, because, while it was theoretically possible for him to one day reach his True Potential again, the string of strange circumstances were far too suspicious to be coincidental. The likelihood of him naturally attaining the Golden Power in less than a week was next to none, and so if her assumptions were indeed accurate, she was now harboring a fugitive. She didn't care.

Nya felt her eyes welling with tears as she slowly accepted the gift, examining the bouquet of flowers that he had just created. "They're beautiful." she remarked, running her hand through the vibrant petals. They were long and thin, jutting out with a uniquely jaded curl. While that made for a strange combination in theory, it had the somewhat adverse effect of being extremely striking and distinct. They stood out from the crowd, acting as a metaphorical ray of light in a sea of darkness and uncertainty. Regardless of how much she tried to analyze the meaning behind the gift, the fact remained that Lloyd appeared to be just as kind and loving as he had been before. Why does that seem odd?

Nya looked up from her thoughts, peering intently at the strange man who stood before her. On the television broadcast he had worn a brand new gi, a golden suit seemingly fashioned to reflect his newfound power. Now it was not immediately apparent what suit he was wearing, although she suspected that they were his Destiny Robes. The observation in and of itself confirmed that Lloyd had returned to the Monastery at some point, but she once again didn't pick up on that fact. And either way the specific hoodie he wore should have been far more concerning, for this one had been a treasured gift from Harumi. His lingering feelings of attraction and longing had gone completely unnoticed to every one of the ninja before the abduction, and even now his forbidden love remained a secret to the entire world.

"What happened to your new golden gi?" Nya asked hesitantly. She really didn't want to burden him with so many incessant questions but knew that the other ninja would be fuming if she didn't at least try to see how he was faring. Lloyd flinched at the question, visibly repulsing as the wave of guilt came flooding back to him. The last thing he wanted was to be reminded of his horrific deeds, but it didn't ultimately matter because he didn't really have time to focus on it. Lloyd had to scramble to think of a logical and believable explanation for why he wasn't wearing the suit, but luckily enough, the perfect excuse came to him within moments.

"Oh, um, I need to clean it." he said sheepishly, blushing slightly as he averted his eyes. He hated having to lie to her, but he also wished to hide his murderous rampage from the ninja at all costs. "Hey, I guess falling off the tallest tower in Ninjago City will do that, huh?" The halfhearted attempt at humor couldn't have gone over worse, for Nya burst into tears at the dark joke. She felt absolutely terrible about the whole situation, still gripped by constant guilt and shame.

"Oh Lloyd, I'm so sorry!" she cried, her voice choked up and miserable. "I should have been there, I don't know why I wasn't!" Lloyd sighed morosely, suddenly gripped by a greater sense of regret than anything he had felt before. It pained him to see her in such a fragile state, returning to find that his foolhardy actions had effectively broken the spirits of his best friend. It was like looking in a mirror, a reflective glimpse of how his own woefulness and depression was slowly infecting the people he cared most about. He was finally beginning to see the true consequences of his actions, and this was far more tragic than any of the physical damage he had inflicted. The psychological effects of his attack were absolutely crushing, and they were destroying her more than any of the others.

"It's not your fault Nya." he whispered, wrapping her into a tight embrace. Lloyd had always had a feel for how to best console people in pain, and she melted into his arms, profusely sobbing onto his shoulder. The stinging wave of tears completely drenched his already damp hoodie, chilling him to the core and causing his skin to shiver. He was still recovering from a flight through pouring rain, but he forced himself to ignore the discomfort. After all, his personal feelings and ambitions were the sole reason for her agony, so Lloyd was very content with acting as a crutch for her to lean on in that moment.

"I know that Lloyd, but it's still not fair." she said finally, managing to compose herself enough to talk calmly. "Why was I saved from harm while everyone else suffers?" Lloyd blanched at the thought, for having to face her would have been the single most difficult thing for him to do. He was eternally grateful that she had been sidelined from the battle, but it appeared that even that small victory had been fleeting. For all of the relief he had felt over her absence had adversely turned into her an emotional wreck, incredibly vulnerable and more lost than ever before.

"I don't know." Lloyd answered quietly, although he of course knew exactly why she and Zane had been out of commission. With every response he had to subconsciously bend the truth, perfectly twist his words to avoid revealing his greatest secret. They had never understood his feelings for Harumi, and Lloyd feared that it would be far worse than ever considering the manner in which he had reconnected with his lost love. He wanted desperately to change the subject, to inspire her with some sort of positive message. At the same time scathing and edgy humor had become an invaluable tool for the man, allowing him to dodge questions without raising suspicion. When he was caught in a lose-lose situation, Lloyd found that distracting the person with a clever quip tended to yield the best results. It didn't work.

"Hey, I never asked to be abducted and tortured by a power-crazy madman, but life isn't always fair." he said jokingly, pulling back from the hug with a cheerful grin on his face. Nya stared at him in disbelief, shocked that he could treat such serious topics with aloof nonchalance. It was a move she would have expected from Jay, but never from Lloyd. It hit her in that moment that the pair had essentially swapped personalities, for Jay's injuries had turned him into an insecure and shy person. Conversely Lloyd had emerged from his pain a completely changed man, now fit with a far more upbeat and strangely carefree disposition. She couldn't quite tell if it was an act or not, but if it was just a facade, then it was a very convincing one. Upon looking closer she noticed the same level of intense strain in his eyes, and Nya knew right then and there that he was still holding back. It was the telltale sign of his pain, the one marker she had learned to look for over their many years of friendship. Some things never changed, and sadly it seemed that Lloyd would always hide his pain behind a mask of indifference.

"Lloyd… what happened?" she asked worriedly, her tone coming off far sharper than she intended. He sighed in disappointment, quickly realizing that he wasn't actually fooling her. It was a result Lloyd should have anticipated, but for some reason he had thought that his best friend simply wouldn't notice how his happiness was forced and feigned. He had never had that same flair for dramatics, nor the penchant for theatrics, that his girlfriend had so elegantly mastered. Lying was now a necessity for the fallen ninja, but it didn't change the fact that it was not a skill that truly came naturally to him. She knows me too well.

Lloyd stared at the floor, continually mulling over how to best respond to the question. He could try blaming the whole thing on the mysterious poltergeist known as the Master of Dreams, but he figured that Harumi probably wouldn't like that very much. Reinforcing that level of intense fear and distrust that the ninja already possessed would only make it harder for them to accept his relationship with her, and although he had no intention of ever telling them anything, it was certainly a possibility that might be out of his control at some point. He took a deep breath, trying to ease his nerves and worries as he looked up from the ground.

"Okay." Lloyd said under his breath, steadying his breathing before turning his attention towards his concerned companion. "Uh, is Jay around here somewhere, I think he deserves to hear what I have to say as well." He was essentially stalling at this point, playing for time in hopes that the ideal move would come to him soon enough.

"Oh, yeah, his room is right there." she answered quickly, pointing towards a door just down the hall on her left. He hadn't been entirely sure whether Jay had actually survived until now, so having that confirmed also helped to lift yet another crushing weight off of his shoulders. Nya smiled fondly at the prospect, for she had absolutely no idea that Jay was utterly terrified of Lloyd returning. "He kept asking the doctors where you were earlier today, so I think he'll be glad to see you."

"Great!" Lloyd replied excitedly, now hopeful that the ninja wouldn't feel too resentful over his misguided attack. Jay had been there to stop him from killing himself, so that was certainly an encouraging sign. He turned towards the door, but his path was blocked as a cyan beam flashed past his face. The strike hit Nya straight in the jaw, causing her to fall limp and instantly hit the ground. Lloyd whipped his head around to find Harumi leaning against the opposite wall, crossing her arms with contempt. There was a fire in her eyes, fueled by a burning fury that he had never seen before.

"What the hell Rumi?" he yelled, before quickly running over to check on his friend. Collapsing onto the cold linoleum had done minimal harm, but the hard impact had slightly bruised her head and wrist. She had unfortunately dropped the vase upon losing consciousness, leaving a broken and shattered mess of glass strewn across the floor. Lloyd focused his energy to send out a calculated burst of Golden Power, healing her minor injuries and reforming the bouquet of flowers. He quickly set them down next to her and looked up at his vindictive girlfriend.

"So you just ran off to meet up with this harlot?" Harumi screamed, her expression awash with a jealous rage. Lloyd stared at her in utter disbelief, shocked that she could think so low of him. There had never been anything between him and Nya, as, although they were extremely close, their relationship was completely platonic. Neither of them had any intention of leaving their respective partners, much less cheating on them.

"Do you really think that little of me?" he asked softly, his voice falling into an almost miserable whimper. He was barely repressing the urge to weep, the accusation had hurt him more than anything else in recent memory. It was an insult to his honor, for she had essentially questioned whether he was really so noble and virtuous. Lloyd wasn't sure of much in this world, but he would never be unfaithful to her. The act of infidelity went against every bit of endless loyalty and boundless trust that he was imbued with; the mere idea of it actively disgusted him.

"Well, what was I supposed to think when I saw my boyfriend giving another woman flowers?" she snapped, although her expression had noticeably softened upon seeing the devastated look on his face. It had been a naive and foolish thought, for Lloyd had never thought of anyone else but her. There had been no one before, and no one since, that he had fully opened his heart to. There was just something about the kind gesture that rubbed her the wrong way, and even though their conversation had been innocuous enough, she couldn't help but feel threatened when he had embraced her.

"They're sword lilies." he mumbled, staring at the floor in embarrassment and sadness. Harumi was shaken from her thoughts, and she quickly turned to gawk in confusion at the peculiar mystery that was Lloyd Garmadon. It seemed like there was a new revelation every time they talked, and it bothered her to think that she really didn't know who he was as a person. That was the unfortunate truth however, as he had effectively closed himself off from the world. He dealt with his constant heartbreak and endless trauma in silence, never wishing to burden another soul with the true depths of his suffering.

"What?" Harumi asked blankly, for she had no idea what he was talking about. The statement was seemingly out of nowhere, and she lacked any of the context for its meaning. Are we even having the same conversation anymore? He sighed in frustration, looking up at her with a somewhat annoyed and ticked-off looking expression.

"The flowers, I gave her a bouquet of gladioli." Lloyd clarified sharply, although it did very little to help her understand the subtleties of plant symbolism. "That's their genus, although they're also called sword lilies because of their lengthy stems and funnel-shaped blossoms. Supposedly they can be the perfect gift in times of darkness, as the sword-like shape is meant to help show them that they're still a strong person. I wanted to inspire Nya with courage and resilience, not display any feelings of affection!" he said scathingly, his tone displaying a simmering ferocity that surprised her. It didn't register in her mind, but Lloyd was extremely miffed about having to justify his actions to her in the first place. Her jealousy was incredibly misplaced, and it had cut yet another deep wound into his fragile heart.

"I mean, I went with yellow flowers because I wanted to specifically avoid the colors associated with love." he finished pointedly, throwing his hands up in defeated exasperation. Harumi didn't know what to say, for his sardonically precise soliloquy had revealed a rather startling truth. She had never been one for gardening, nor had she ever put any stock in flowers specifically. A scholarly tomboy at heart, she had spent her free time obsessively pouring over books and practicing her acting skills. Her life had been partially devoted to the complicated study of anatomy, and Harumi had become such an expert in the field that she could probably rival any physician in the realm. The traditionally girlish interests had just never appealed to her, as she had also dabbled in history, combat, and even a bit of advanced acrobatics. She was however, continually surprised to find that Lloyd seemed to share her disdain for archaic gender roles; possessing such an extensive knowledge of flowers was not something she would have ever expected from him. His aforementioned talent for sewing had been the lone sign of a more feminine nature, but it was becoming increasingly apparent to her that in a way, his personality just tended to reflect that.

"So when did my lord become such a snobby elitist when it comes to plants?" she asked mockingly, drawing out her words in an over-dramatic and purposefully condescending manner.

"I'm not, it's just another thing I picked up at Darkley's." he answered honestly, wisely choosing to ignore her biting ridicule. Harumi raised her eyebrows at the statement, finding it difficult to believe that a school for bad boys would have taught anything about gardening. Seeing her skepticism Lloyd clarified that, "My friend Brad loved planting flowers, and he just wouldn't shut up about them. I'm not really much of an expert, but it is pretty hard to forget it all when that was such a profound part of my childhood."

He took a deep breath, slowly stretching as he lifted himself off of the sterile linoleum. Lloyd grabbed the vase with one arm, and single-handedly lifted Nya off the ground with the other. Harumi was slightly surprised, but she quickly remembered that stealing Cole's powers had given him superhuman strength. He began moving towards the waiting room but stopped in his tracks. Turning himself around again he looked right at her, gazing into her eyes with intense disappointment. "Aren't you going to help me make Nya comfortable?"

"No."

Yeah, this chapter dragged out a lot longer than I thought it would, so you got another cheeky and inconsequential ending. The next scene I have planned is a really important one so I just wanted to give it a bit more time. In case anyone is wondering I don't actually know jack shit about flowers. Once again I just kinda did the best I could with the information available online, and if I somewhat misconstrued the symbolism behind gladioli flowers, please feel free to pompously correct me.