Hey everyone!

Sorry for being off the grid, it's been a tough couple of days, but don't worry I kept writing, a little less, but I'm still working on both my stories.

Here's a little update for you!

Can't wait to read your comments on this one!

Happy reading!

Xoxo,

Nina

As she walked around her place, getting ready to meet Hailey at Molly's, all Kim thought about was that hug. Sure she'd hugged him when she saw him at the district, but this one felt different. More intimate and heartfelt.

His arms wrapping her body were everything she was certain she'd missed, and as crazy as it sounded nobody else's touch had ever felt like his embrace around her.

His soft words in the shell of her ear still echoed in her brain and the sparks filling her body were still as intense as the moment he approached her in the bullpen.

"God, Kimberly. What the hell are you doing?" She asked herself while looking at the mirror, trying to finish her makeup.

She had no clue what she was doing, but most of all she had no idea what she was going to do with all the feelings that were bubbling inside her.

Lucky for her it was getting time for her to leave and that would hopefully keep her mind off him, at least for a little while.

Kim was a little early, which gave her time to look around the place and say hello to some old friends.

Molly's looked exactly how she remembered it, of course there were some new faces behind the counter but Hermann's lively smile and distinct voice called her attention the most.

"Burgess, is that you?"

"It is."

"Long time no see. What brings you back here?"

"Working on a case and apparently the suspect decided to hide away from us here. Little does he know he will now be facing one of the toughest teams." They both chuckled.

"Well good luck with that."

"Thank you, Hermann."

"So, what can I get you?"

"Um, give me two beers please."

"Out on a date."

"Oh no. I'm meeting Detective Upton." Kim shot him a faint smile. A part of her kind of wished she was on a date, with Ruzek if she could choose, but that's not the reason why she was back here.

"That sounds like fun." Kim nodded at his reply and a couple of seconds later the two beers were in front of her.

"Thanks. How much do I owe you."

"On the house."

"No, please."

"Take it as a little welcome wagon from firehouse 51. Just don't be a stranger, ok? It's really nice seeing you."

"It's nice to be back, and I'll be popping by often. You can count on that." They both smiled. "Thank you again."

"My pleasure. Have fun."

Kim went to look for an empty table, and waited for Hailey there.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting, got stuck in traffic."

"No problem. I got us two beers, hope you like that."

"That's exactly what I was craving for." Hailey answered smiling. "Did you stay for too long in the district after I left?"

"No, just a few minutes. I needed to finish reading a file and after that I went to my place."

"We did a lot today."

"Yes. A lot of strings to pull from."

"Luckily, I was getting a bit frustrated to be honest."

"Me too." Kim agreed, finally taking a pull from her beer. "But that's enough work talk, we came here for a girls night."

"Right." Hailey grabbed her bottle and clicked it against Kim's. "So, how's it like to be back?"

"It's…" The brunette paused for a little while, trying to find the correct words to answer that question. "Strange. But I mean, I just got here like what? Three days? And I haven't really thought about anything other than the case. This is my first social event." Kim smiled. "So thank you for that."

"You are very welcome." Hailey looked down, looking for a question to ask that could be safe enough to do some small talk. "So, exactly how long have you been away from?"

"Eight years and it's funny because I know it's a very long time, yet it doesn't feel that far away."

"Time flies, that's for sure."

"It does." Kim sighed.

"What motivated you to go? Wanted a change in your career?"

"No it wasn't that. I liked my job, I mean I wanted to be upstairs like crazy and when I was working with the CPD I was part of the bureau of patrol, but I knew it was part of the process and that I was going to get there at some point." The brunette explained.

"So why'd you go if your goal was intelligence?"

Burgess took a deep breath, she didn't know how much to share, but she had to give Hailey some sort of answer. "Um, I guess it was more of a personal issue. I was trying to solve something and I thought that moving was going to be the best way to deal with it."

"Oh. I see. And was it?"

"That's a hard question to answer." She chuckled nervously. "I like to think it was, otherwise I was miserable for years for nothing." Kim chugged another sip of her drink and Hailey's surprised face and big eyes told her that she needed to expand on that a little bit more. "Ok, maybe I exaggerated. I wasn't miserable, but…"

"It wasn't what you expected." Upton finished her phrase for her.

"Exactly."

Hailey twirled the bottle in her hand just to do something while they chatted. "And what are your expectations about this trip?"

"To bring Jones down, of course."

"Well, of course. But you did say you left due to personal reasons, is there anything else you wish to solve apart from this case?"

Kim looked at Hailey with a shy smile and her head cocked to the side. "Hmmm. Something tells me you have a theorist about this and I'm dying to know what it is."

"I don't. I just asked a question."

"If you didn't, you wouldn't have been so specific. I think you know way more about me than what you're letting on."

"I really don't." Kim looked at her with an obvious look on her face. "Ok, ok." Upton raised both hands, getting a playful answer from Kim. "I know about you and Adam and that's it."

"Well, that's pretty much all of it."

Kim wasn't going to give her any more details if Adam hadn't done it himself. She had no right to do that. This was his home, his family and she didn't want to invade that at all.

"Is that what you were talking about when you mentioned the miserable year?"

"What? Being with Adam?"

Hailey nodded. A part of her knew that she was pushing, but another was just trying to help her friend and getting to know Kim better.

Burgess had no problem talking about it. Maybe a few years ago it had been a different story, but now she knew that hiding her emotions or running away from them was what put her in this spot to begin with and she didn't want to risk it anymore. There was nothing wrong with sharing her feelings.

"No, not at all. Adam is an amazing guy, and looking back my relationship with him was probably the best one I've had, so… that's that." She sipped from her bottle trying to take importance away from what she had just said.

"Oh." Upton's eyes were wide when the realization of Kim's words hit her. Was Burgess not over Ruzek, just like he obviously wasn't over her?

"Anyway, what about you? What's it like being in intelligence?"

The brunette was quick to change the subject, although she didn't have anything to hide, she didn't want to give away too much; and apart from that, the point of the night was to bond and get to know each other.

As the night progressed the drinks kept coming and they began to loosen up much more quickly, they shared stories of their jobs, the weirdest cases, the most fun they've had on the field but they kept the tough work memories away, tonight wasn't about that.

They got to know each other more, and even if the blonde detective didn't fully say it, Kim was convinced she had a crush on Jay. The way she talked about him and brought up his name at every opportunity gave her away.

The following morning was a bit hard for the both of them, since the buzz of the alcohol was still pounding their heads just a little. Lucky for them the day was pretty light, which wasn't that all good news for the evolution of the case.

They felt like they were stuck again, they had a bunch of strings to pull from but they were getting tiny details from them; and although everything they were getting was helpful, it wasn't what they expected.

For Kim, though, the best part of the day was regaining the comfort she always felt working upstairs. Little by little her bond with the team was becoming what it was before, especially with Kevin and she was incredibly grateful for that.

Even things with Adam were less tense after the last conversation they had. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop her stomach from turning every time their eyes crossed paths and stayed locked on each other for seconds that felt like hours to her, not to mention that lopsided smirk he'd flash after each one of those interactions.

When she came here she was well aware of what she was going to face. Something deep inside of her told her that she wasn't over this; maybe because of the way they, well she, ended things, or maybe it was because he made her feel things she never felt before or since their relationship.

Did it really matter why? The thing was that she never really got over him, and seeing him, feeling his smell, hearing his laughter, it brought everything back. Everything.

She still had feelings for him. The problem was she didn't know what the hell to do with them.

"Let's clock out guys." Voight said coming out of his office. It seems the sergeant was just as frustrated as they were, his hand running though his face gave the whole team the hint. "We'll continue tomorrow with a fresh mind."

He raised his hand, greeting everyone in the bullpen and left.

"Does he always leave like that?" Torres asked the question Kim also wanted an answer to.

"Nope. Only when he needs to refocus and look at the case from another angle." Kevin replied.

"Damn."

"Yeah kid, this is a tough one indeed." Adam added, making Kim smile to her insides.

"So, who's up for a beer?" Atwater jumped in. "We might as well follow direct orders?" He shrugged his shoulders as he invited his friends to relax and refocus.

"Oh yeah. I'm down for that." Hailey was the first to agree.

"Me too." Jay said, standing up and turning off his computer.

Little by little they all did the same as Jay. Logging out of their accounts and turning off their computers to go to Molly's and have a very well deserved drink.

They had been working nonstop, and Voight really did have a point. Sometimes it's just better to unwind and start over fresh.

Maybe that's exactly what Kim and Adam needed as well.

Molly's was full of people. Burgess was surprised to see the change, since the previous night wasn't as busy.

The brunette was one of the last ones to get there, since she stayed behind to put some things away and then get a cab. Since she didn't know how long she was going to stay in Chicago for, she hadn't really bothered to get a car but she was starting to consider it now.

As she made her way through the crowd, she quickly found Kevin and Adam sitting in a booth.

"Where's the rest of the crew?" She asked, taking off her jacket.

"They went to get the first round." Atwater answered. "Do you want anything special?"

"Nah, I'll just get a beer." She shrugged and began to move towards the counter, where she could now see the rest of her teammates.

"You stay here Burge. I'll get it for you." His offer was sweet, but his intention wasn't really to pamper his friend. What Kevin really wanted was to leave them alone just for a little while.

"You sure about that?"

"Of course. What kind of a gentleman would I be?" He flashed her a smirk and looked at Adam with an all knowing look on his face before going to add Kim's beer to the order.

The atmosphere around that table was awkward. Not bad, not tense, just awkward. Like when you and your highschool crush are left alone during homeroom and neither of you know what to do. Well, it was just like that.

Adam smiled at her and looked down at his hands at plain sight, while his feet were playing nervously with each other under the table.

"It was funny today, hearing you call Torres kid." Kim finally broke the ice, inviting him to lose a light chuckle.

"Well, I'm definitely not a kid anymore, and someone else needed to carry on that legacy." Adam answered with Al in mind.

"You really miss him, huh?"

He sighed at her question.

"Well, at the beginning it was really tough, you know? But then, I started to get used to it, that void began to feel less heavy." He shrugged and looked down, pausing for a moment and trying to figure out whether to speak or not.

But he did.

"Kind of like when you left."

"I doubt me leaving was as important as that." She said softly, feeling almost ashamed of speaking those words.

"You're probably right. It was worse when you left."

The words hit her like a rock in the middle of her face, and as of right now she felt like nothing could hurt more than that. He looked at her and felt the pain that was running through her body, leaving him feeling like a complete asshole and he wasn't sure what he should do to make it better. "I don't mean it like anything loaded, I just…"

"It's alright. I know where it's coming from." She started to fiddle with her fingers. He pulled the band aid right off, they might as well continue. "You really missed me?"

Adam scoffed ironically. He thought about hiding his answer, he thought about playing tough guy, but what was the use of doing that? "Yeah. You have no idea." He looked down again, looking for the courage to ask the next question, because its answer had the potential of crushing his last spark of hope or igniting it. "Did you?"

"Hey!" The interruption felt like a bucket of ice cold water down her neck.

"Hi. What, what are you doing here?" He stuttered.

"I was driving by and I saw your truck parked outside. Figured I stopped by to say hi."

Kim looked at the whole situation and wondered what the hell was going on.

"Are you here with the team?" She asked, looking at the brunette sitting next to Adam.

"Yeah, yeah I am. The case is going nowhere and we decided it was going to be good to unwind for a bit."

"Sounds nice." Her sight went from Kim to Adam, waiting for one of them to say something. Kim looked at Adam as well, and even not having the slightest idea of what was happening, she decided to speak first. Some would call her brave for that, but in reality she was terrified. She was scared to hear how Adam was going to introduce her.

"Hi, I'm Kim Burgess. I'm from DC but I was sent here to work this case." She said kindly stretching out her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Kim." The young blonde said smiling right after taking her hand and squeezing it politely. "I'm Victoria. Adam's girlfriend."

"A pleasure, Victoria."

A few seconds ago she thought she had felt the most excruciating pain, now Kim realized that that was actually nothing compared to what she was feeling now.

Her stomach twisted inside her body, but not in the good excited way, it was the wanting to run to the closest bathroom and puke kind of feeling.

Her world stumbled down right before her eyes. She felt this before, when their relationship was falling apart according to her and the comments of others around her who pretended to have her best interest.

It was all so familiar. Feeling stupid for believing in a love that was never for her, for hoping that maybe she could undo all the mystery she has been living in. The pain. The pain was killing her once again.