Hey!

Massive apologies for being so late! I thought this time of year would be less busy for me, but apparently it's the opposite. But for you, lovely readers, I woke up really early to finish the chapter before school.

As always, enjoy! :)

"You're happy."

"What?" Meredith asked as she paused by her locker.

"You're happy." Izzie repeated. "Did you finally ask your guy out?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Good surgery?" She suggested, seeing as she knew that surgery could cause a smile like that.

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Did a different guy ask you out then? Did you have sex?"

"No, I didn't have sex with a different guy. That's not how it works when you're in love with someone."

"Sex is sex, no matter who it's with." Alex pointed out with a shrug.

"He just...just being around him makes me happy. I don't need anything else."

Izzie sighed. "Jeez, I wish I could be that in love with someone."

Meredith's grin expanded. "Yeah...I'm not going to lie, it's pretty freaking great."

"Meredith Grey?" Mark asked the second he closed the door behind him. "Seriously?"

"Okay- you do not get to say a single thing. You sleep with everyone, so you are the one person who cannot judge me."

"Explains why she's turned me down so many times at Joe's." Mark muttered.

"You've asked her out?" Derek asked, shocked.

"Hi."

"Um...hello, Dr Sloan." Meredith greeted before taking a sip of her drink.

"Can I buy you another drink?"

"I'm okay." She dismissed. "Thanks though."

Mark sighed, examining the woman. No one said no to Mark Sloan. No one. Ever. "Is he hotter than me?"

"What?" Meredith asked, confused.

"The dude you're rejecting me for- is he hotter than me? Because if he's not, then you should let me buy you a drink and I'll show you what a good time really is. And, most importantly, what good sex really is like."

She smirked. "Sorry, but the guy I'm thinking about is far hotter than you. And there are other things more important than looks and sex anyway."

There were things more important than looks and sex? Mark couldn't believe that. Not for a second. "Like?" He pushed, still hoping for the drink.

"Humour." She answered. "I like a guy who can make jokes."

"You should talk to Dr Shepherd then-"

She looked up from her drink, heart beating a little faster. Mark didn't know, did he? "Uh- why?"

"He makes good jokes. I think they're crap, but he thinks they're good. Maybe you'll think they're good too?"

She smirked. "Right."

"I could go and steal some jokes from him and then come back. Would you give me a drink then?"

She sighed. "Sorry, Dr Sloan."

"Multiple times dude, she's hot."

Derek snorted. "That's my not-girlfriend you're talking about, Mark."

He smiled as he sat down in the chair next to his bed.

"So, how are you doing? Were you just discharged?"

"Yep. All good. They said it's going to be quite a while until I can back to work though."

"Sorry about that." He apologized. "But also thanks, by the way, for the whole- you know, saving my life thing."

He smiled. "I'd say you'd do it for me, but considering the fact that you only have one kidney, that wouldn't really work. But you get what I mean."

He smiled back, but didn't say anything for a moment, thinking. "Can I ask um- have you told anyone?"

"About you and Meredith?" He assumed. "Oh, yeah. Everyone. I started with the nurses because I knew that they'd tell everyone. Then I started telling people on the street, and then some random patients. The word is really getting-"

"Mark-" He sighed, interrupting him with a smirk.

"I didn't tell a soul, don't worry. Not even Addie- who says your dog is fine, by the way. Apart from the fact she really sucks at catch, but I guess that's a given when you have a three-legged dog."

"Yeah, I'd noticed. She's good at napping though. It's her favourite sport." Derek said optimistically.

He snorted. "A bit like you then?"

"I have plenty of excuses to nap all day. And I do sport. Not right now but...I do."

"Maybe Meredith could watch you play." Mark suggested with a chuckle. "Should I tell her that you-"

"She is not watching me play." Derek rebutted, cutting him off.

He didn't reply for a second before checking, "You know she's in love with you too, right?"

"Yeah, because I'm the hottest guy in the world." He muttered sarcastically. "Everyone is in love with me."

"Seriously, she's in love with you. I'm telling you."

"You don't need to try and make me feel better Mark, I know that-"

"If you didn't tell me about Meredith, then how would I have known?"

"I um-" He faltered. That was a good question. "You must have- uh-" Nothing. There was absolutely no answer he could come up with.

"I'm not a psychic, Derek. How would have I known unless I could tell by the way she was acting? She was absolutely crushed. Visibly- although she was doing her best to hide it, crushed. She was worse than me, but blamed it on the whole trauma of finding someone who was...well, you know."

"Seriously?"

"This isn't a Romeo and- um, who was he in love with at the start?"

"Rosaline."

"Right- this isn't a Romeo and Rosaline unrequited love situation Derek. This is a Romeo and Juliet situation."

"So we're going to murder like seven people and die in three days?"

"Yes, Derek, that is exactly what I mean." Mark sighed sarcastically.

"Are you doing okay?"

"What? Me? I'm fine." Meredith reassured him with a quick smile.

"Are you sure? You seem a little...on edge."

She sighed, but didn't reply for a second before admitting, "Your mother is here."

"And?" He pressed, confused.

"Your mother!"

"Yes, Mom is in Seattle." He agreed, alarmed at her exclamation.

"And she's going to meet me."

"She is."

"Mothers don't like me. She's going to shoo me away and tell me I'm a bad influence."

"You're not doing drugs and encouraging me to stay out all night partying and drinking. It makes us sound like dodgy teenagers."

"Derek, that is not the point!"

"My mom isn't that scary."

"You're the one who said she was scary!" She exclaimed.

"I mean- well, I suppose she-" He paused as the handle moved, and the door opened to reveal the person they were talking about. "Mom."

She smiled, observing both her son and the intern. "Hi. How are you doing?"

"I'm good." He replied before looking over to the other woman in the room. "And um- this is Meredith."

Carolyn held her hand out. "I'm sure you know I'm Derek's mom. You can call me Carolyn."

She swallowed, and took it with a shaky smile.

"Meredith is going to stay here for most of the night so you can go home."

"All night?" Carolyn asked, surprised.

"Oh, I'm used to it, being an intern and all. I don't really sleep all that much."

"This one working you too hard?" She asked, gesturing to Derek as she sat down.

"No. Derek is a good boss. It's...some others who cause my mass lack of sleep."

"Let me guess...Miranda?"

She snorted, but stopped herself quickly, embarrassed. She wasn't sure she'd ever been so aware of what she was saying and what she was doing and how she was sat and how she was speaking and where she was looking. Was that laugh too loud? Too boisterous? Was she even supposed to be laughing at that? Was she supposed to be laughing more? "Yes, I maybe or may not be referring to Dr Bailey."

She smiled, and Meredith was preying that that meant she had gained her approval. "So, Dr Grey, tell me all about you."

"Grey." Bailey called as she stepped into the intern's locker room.

"Yes?"

"Dr Shepherd's temp is raised and I'm worried about post-op fever. Can you stay the night for monitoring?"

She swallowed, but didn't let herself run to Bailey, as much as she wanted to. She instead did a quick walk, shuffling her lab coat back over her shoulders. "When did it start? How bad is it now? Is it progressing fast? Did you put him on anything else? How about-"

"He's fine, Meredith." Bailey dismissed as soon as they had exited the room and were out of the intern's earshot.

"He always says he's fine, but he never is."

"I mean, he doesn't have a post-op fever." She clarified. "I just thought you might want another excuse to spend some more time with him. Carolyn is going home soon so he'd be alone and I thought you wouldn't want that."

She smiled. If Bailey was someone who could stand hugs, she would have engulfed in one, but she decided if wasn't the best idea. "Thank you."

She nodded. "No problem."

"Derek-" She called.

Nothing.

She squeezed his hand tight as she sat up, taking a quick glance at his heart monitor as she did so. His heart rate was getting higher every second. "Derek?"

Nothing. His cheek just moved again, despite the fact he was definitely asleep.

"Derek, you've got to wake up-" She instructed as she tugged on his arm, talking at a regular amplitude.

His arm pushed back, and both sides of his face moved, cheeks forcing his eyes shut even further. But he was still asleep.

"Carolyn-" Meredith whispered.

Nothing.

She swallowed, and placed her hand on the woman. "Carolyn?" She repeated, louder this time.

"Mmm?" She groaned, clearly half-asleep.

"Derek is...twitching in his sleep."

Her head lifted at that, and she went to half asleep to awake after a nice big cup of coffee instantaneously. "Unplug his monitor."

"What?"

"Put the monitors on standby." She instructed, hoping some elaboration would help Meredith understand.

"Why?"

She reached for the Oxygen mask. "Just do it."

Meredith didn't hesitate this time, and stood to turn off his heart monitor, saturation and blood pressure. She still, however, had no clue why she had been instructed to do so.

She watched as Carolyn placed the mask over his face before placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking him. "Derek, you've got to wake up. Derek! De-"

Then Meredith got it.

Then she got why they turned the machine off and why she'd put an oxygen mask on him and why she was so alarmed by the statement that he was twitching and...all of it. She got all of it.

"Okay, okay, okay-" She muttered as she embraced him, hands clutching at her gasping, shaking son. "You were dreaming, Derek. It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare."

"Don't- don't turn it off." He muttered as tears slipped out of both eyes.

"No, no, no. Not turning it off. I promise. We never turned it off. It's okay." She reassured him as she rubbed her hand against his back in a circle.

"No. No- no off." He gasped.

"Yeah, I know. We all know. That's why we didn't turn it off. Listen, Derek, it's the eighteenth of October 2005, okay? You're alive. We didn't turn it off. It's been uh- over five-hundred days since, okay? You're. Alive."

"Alive?"

"Yeah. You're completely fine."

"But- h- hospital?"

"You were here for a tiny little surgery, but you're absolutely fine now. You'll be going home really soon, okay? Promise."

He pulled away, still panting from his panic attack. "No off? I- I'm- alive?" He asked, his voice thick.

"No, Sweetie. No off, you're alive." She reassured him with a teary smile. The attacks never got any better. "Everything - including you - is absolutely fine. I promise."

He did his best to smile, but then his eyes refocused on the rest of the room. He found Meredith, and his heart dropped.

"You're not asleep, are you?" Meredith whispered. She couldn't sleep, thinking about what the hell had happened, so she just sat and stared at him. It was like the scars again. She wasn't horrified by him, she was horrified by what caused all these harrowing scars. The mental and physical ones.

His eyes opened instantly at the accusation. "No."

"Can't sleep?"

"Don't want to." He corrected. He hadn't had one like that in so long, but he supposed that being in hospital was his trigger. Well, he hoped being in hospital was his trigger, seeing as he'd escape from that very soon, but he wouldn't forget collapsing very soon.

"Scared that it's going to happen again?" She suggested without hesitation, despite how she felt inside. Her heart was crushed, thinking about the fact he was keeping himself awake just to avoid more trauma.

He sighed. "It's embarrassing."

"Why is it embarrassing?" Meredith pressed.

"It's just a dream. That's it. A figment of my imagination while I'm asleep."

She squeezed his hand. "But it's not a figment of your imagination if it's real. Well, based off a real thing. And I'm pretty sure, correct me if I'm wrong, that it happened because you have PTSD, and you certainly shouldn't be embarrassed of that."

He swallowed, but even after pausing he couldn't figure out what to say. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry, promise. I told you it's okay. Now, do you think you could manage to get back to sleep?"

He sighed. "I...yeah, probably."

"Is there something I could do that could stop it? Or that could make you feel better now? Like...how about a- uh, no idea."

"A hug?" He suggested, simply because the only thing he actually wanted was a kiss, so he went with the first semi-related thing that came to mind.

She smiled as she stood, then sat back down on the edge of his bed. She reached over and slid both hands behind his back. They stayed in that position for a good twenty seconds before splitting. "How was that?"

He beamed. He was so close to her. Touching her whole body. Breathing her in. But, most importantly, feeling that warm, welcoming quality that she always seemed to present around him. The embrace was so...comfortable. "Pretty great."

"I um..." She swallowed. "I have nightmares too sometimes."

"About something real?"

"About uh-"

"No, no, no, no- Derek. Derek!" She dropped to her knees next to him, her chest rising as fast as his. Her hand shook violently as she attempted to place it against his neck. "P- pulse. You've got to have a pulse." She muttered to herself as she felt her eyes water over. She couldn't find one. She couldn't find anything. She pulled away, and dropped her head over his mouth to listen to his breathing instead. Swallow, and quick, and weak. But there. It was definitely there. Which meant he probably had a pulse too, but her hand was just too unstable to find it. She grasped him by the shoulders, and shook him, just a little. "Derek-" She breathed. "Derek, you've got to wake up. Derek. Please. P- pl- please! Wake up!" She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed before she felt an arm on her back.

Someone had clearly heard her screaming, but she had no idea who it was. She didn't have the capacity for that. All she knew was that it was a really good thing that the doctor was there, and that was it.

"I dream about you."

She could see the precise second he processed that, because she saw the intrigued look drop to...well, pain and shock and anguish and fear. "You...you dream about me?"

"Finding you." She explained. "In that on-call room."

"Oh, Mer-" He sighed, his heartbreak evident in his tone. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, no, don't be sorry." She sighed as she felt her eyes water.

He smiled weakly in the hope to sooth her before asking, "Do you need a hug too?"

She sniffled. "I would love another hug."

"Derek Shepherd, thirty-five. Dr Shepherd is eleven days post-kidney transplant after going into ARF due to DMSO poisoning. His lung function has now returned to normal after some mild pulmonary oedema and both his creatinine and bilirubin levels are within the normal range. No post-op infections, although he did cause a partial dehiscence on day four."

"Very good. Now, Grey-"

"Yes?"

"You're skipping the rest of rounds, I need you start running labs and tests for discharge."

"Okay, Dr Bailey." She sighed, as if it was the worst task in the world. It wasn't, but she was still holding up her masquerade.

"So how long now?" Mark asked.

"Hopefully, we should be able to get you out of here by tomorrow, does that sound good?"

Derek smiled. "Yeah. Thank you, Dr Bailey. For everything." He said, making the smallest glance at Meredith as he spoke.

She nodded, and led her interns out of the room.

"Got anymore sleep?"

He smiled. "Yeah. Just about."

"Try and sleep today to catch up, okay?"

"Do I get another hug for my attempt?" He asked hopefully with one of his McDreamy smiles.

She grinned as she sat down on the side of the bed and leaned over, as she had done before.

Mark watched, dumbfounded. Hugs? They were hugging? Where was the kissing and the snogging and- well, Derek wasn't allowed to do strenuous activities for at least another week or two, so there wasn't going to be any sex, but still- where was the relationship?

"You guys are so freaking blind." Mark muttered, rolling his eyes.

"What?" Meredith asked as they split, confused by the statement.

"Oh-" He sighed. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh- god, sorry-" Meredith apologized when he groaned.

"It's okay." He muttered. "Just right on the incision."

"Okay- how about-" She adjusted the thin pillow that she had found to ease his pain nearer to his incision. She grabbed the seat belt, and pulled it tight to his torso. "Is that any better?"

He smiled. "Thank you."

"Now, are you absolutely sure that you don't want to take something before we go? I have codeine, and ibuprofen, and acetaminophen."

He smiled; she was so organized. "I'll be okay. Unless you keep poking me with annoying questions."

"I will try my hardest not to do that." She promised.

"Do you want me to-" Mark offered as he watched her grasp his chair, stepping forward.

"Oh no, I've got it." Meredith dismissed as she pulled his chair back until she reached the back door.

"Are you sure? I swear I've almost lost a finger trying to dissemble it before." Mark only half-joked as he watched her pull open the door.

She smirked. "I know right." She agreed as she began the process.

Mark didn't speak for a second, impressed by how quick she was. "Actually...it might fit in the trunk."

"It doesn't." Meredith replied as she chucked the first wheel in the back seat.

"You've tried?" He assumed, surprised.

"I drive Derek to a lot of places incase his legs get tired from all the walking and he can't drive."

Mark looked at her, dumbfounded, for a long second before snorting. "Jesus, you're just as bad as he is."

"He influenced me, okay? Not my fault."

He sighed. Why weren't these two idiots married already? "Right. Are you sure you don't want me to come with?"

"You're recovering from surgery too, Dr Sloan."

"I'm doing fine."

She didn't speak for a second, thinking. Mark was his boss, and Derek's best friend, and one of only three people who knew she was in love with Derek. She had no idea what that meant relationship-wise. "Dr Montgomery is looking after you, I'm looking after Derek and Carolyn is bouncing between you two. That's what we agreed, right?"

He sighed. "Right."

"Now-" Meredith looked to Derek. "Let's get you home."

He smiled. "Yes please."