"Damn it."

"What?"

He gave one last scavenge through his bag, just incase he had missed what he was looking for before admitting, "My badge."

"Oh." She sighed. "I actually remembered it this morning as well. I put it near the door but- nope."

"It's okay."

"It's not. Now what are we going to do?" Meredith inquired as she turned around and looked out of the back window in the hope of finding two or three spaces in a row. That would mean that he could use the empty spaces in the same way he used the cross hatched areas either side of his normal space. But her plan was ruined by the jam-packed car park.

"It'll be fine; I'll just leave the car here."

"Are you sure?" She asked. That didn't sound like a good idea to her.

"Well the other option is that I get out and you park somewhere, but I'm going to guess you've never learnt how to drive a car with hand controls, nevermind park it."

She smiled. "Good point."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Mmm?" Derek agreed with a hum, considering the fries in his mouth.

"You know our relationship is a secret-"

"Apart from the bit where we're on a public date." He added before she could continue. They'd settled at a small restaurant to share a bowl of fries for a break from their shopping, so their date was most definitely public.

She smirked. That was an extremely good observation. She had planned to say that they just bumped into each other if anyone asked, but if they were eating together or shopping together than she highly doubted that would work. "Apart from that bit, of course."

"And the question?" He pressed, noting that he had distracted her from whatever she wanted to ask.

"Why is it a secret? I mean- I don't mind that it is, you know that I just wanted to do what made you comfortable but...why did you make that decision?"

"Well, I'm your attending, which makes our relationship a little bit illegal. And then there's the bit where I can't walk, of course, because that is the reason for most things I do."

"Why is your chair a reason?"

"Well, as guys go, I'm pretty sure to most of the world the order is-" He lifted his hand up. "Hot guys." He lowered it. "Ugly guys." He lowered it again, creating a larger gap than the one which was between the first two. "Guys with disabilities. So, you know, what about your social status?"

She snorted. "My social status?"

"Do you really want people to hear that you have a boyfriend and then you introduce...me? I just-"

"Okay, two things." She interrupted to his utter nonsense. "One, do you really think I have a social status? Or at least one I care about? And, two, I'd be happy to introduce you as my boyfriend, chair and all."

"It sounds like too much effort to me. Let's just wait until we get married and have five kids and then start telling people."

She giggled, but her smiled faded a little too quickly.

"I thought we agreed we were having five kids." He said, assuming it was his reference to children that made her a little uneasy.

"That was before we were together and, if I recall correctly, we were just joking about our crappy genetics and family history."

"How about marriage? Any bad history there? Are you genetically inclined to be a run-away bride by any chance?" He joked with a smile.

"We've been together for like two months, and you're already asking me to marry you?"

"No. I'd never ask you to marry me. Even if we were together for five years or ten years or whenever you're supposed to ask by." He said, seriousness written all over his face.

Her eyebrows creased. She certainly didn't want to get married in that moment, but she was a little confused about his response. What did he have against marriage? "Why not?"

"You really think I can get on one knee?" He asked as he chuckled, causing her to break into laughter as well.

"Derek Shepherd?"

He turned around at that in the hope of finding who had called his name, and found a semi-familiar man. "Aaron Holton?"

"I'm surprised you remember me."

"Like I could forget you." Derek said. "I'm just glad you went with cardio so I didn't have to compete with you for best neuro guy."

Aaron smiled. "And now you are indeed the best neuro guy."

"And I hear that you are also a very impressive cardiothoracic surgeon."

"I um- also heard-" He swallowed. "About what happened to you. Well, not specifics but-"

"The bit where I can't walk?"

His eyes dropped timidly to look at the most obvious indicator of that fact. "Yeah. That bit."

"It's okay. You don't need to puppy-dog stare at me and ask me how my poor broken soul is doing. I'm absolutely fine. Happy, actually."

"Well, I would say that I'm glad, but, although we didn't go with the same specialty, I was still planning on going for the best doctor of our year award."

"Oh, and me recovering enough to work again instead of being half-brain-dead in a rehabilitation clinic for the rest of my life ruined that for you, did it?" Derek asked with a grin.

He smiled back. "It makes me sound mean and selfish when you put it like that. But yes."

"Well, I'm glad I'm not dead too. Or, not dead, just dead inside at the fact that my whole life is gone."

"What's it like?"

"Complicated, if you wanted a summary in just one word. Unfortunately, that one word isn't particularly helpful." He admitted. That was the truth. Everything he ever wanted to do came with a 'but' or an 'and' or some other connective which he never liked the sound of. "But I'm happy, and as healthy as I can be considering the missing organs and the secondary complications."

"And you're still a kick-ass surgeon."

"That I am. And I-" He paused when he was interrupted by the call of a very familiar voice.

"Dr Holton?"

"Oh my lord." He embraced her in a quick hug before pulling back and releasing her. "Meredith Grey!"

"Hey, sir."

"Oh, Jesus. Please don't call me sir." He said, although he was still smiling.

"Me and Aaron went to med school together." Derek explained.

"And Dr Shepherd is an attending at my hospital."

"And I taught Meredith at John-Hopkins in her second year." He replied, seeing as they seemed to be providing each other with the ways they knew each other.

He would have loved to react like anyone else. He would have loved to say 'wow' or 'that's great' or 'small world' or some other insignificant conversational phrase, but he couldn't. Only one thought consumed him at that, and he couldn't help but say it. "I thought you went to Dartmouth."

"I did. I moved there for third year."

"And it was sad to see her go. She was an amazing student."

"Sure I was. I recall some late assignments."

"But you know you had a perfectly good excuse not to hand them in."

"Mmm." She agreed with a small, forced smile as her eyes lost their happy, natural sparkle.

This man knew things about her that he didn't know. It wasn't jealously that filled him at that fact, more...confusion, and maybe concern. The fact that she had gone to John Hopkins didn't seem like the kind of thing that would be a secret; he was surprised she never mentioned it.

"And how are you doing now?"

"I'm really good. I'm an intern at Seattle Grace hospital. I like to think I'm a good one; I haven't killed anyone yet. Oh- I have a dog." She listed off. If she remembered one thing about him, it was that he loved dogs.

"Awww." His eyes lit up. Definitely still loved dogs. "Can I see?"

She smiled and pulled out her phone. After a few seconds of scrolling, she found a good photo of Lucky, along with her and Derek.

"She's an amputee." He observed.

"Someone hit her and left her in the middle of the road. We almost hit her too, but we didn't, and we got her to the vets in time for them to fix her up."

"Poor thing." He sighed with a frown before looking over to Derek. He'd noted the fact that Meredith kept saying 'we', as well as the fact that the photo contained the pair. "And it's not a coincidence that I saw the two of you together here, is it?"

Meredith smiled as she grabbed Derek's hand. He squeezed it lovingly at the action. "If anyone asks, it's a coincidence. But, for you, it's not."

He smiled as he looked between the pair. "You got yourself a good one there, Shepherd."

"Oh, I know." He said, smiling at her. "You don't have to tell me how great she is."

"And I don't know an awful lot about you now Derek, it's been about ten years, but if you were aiming for a god of a surgeon, I know you definitely have one Meredith."

"And I definitely know that too." Meredith agreed.

"And the other thing?" Dr Holton pressed.

Derek's eyes flickered between the pair, trying to decipher at least one expression. This man definitely knew some side or story of Meredith that he didn't.

"It's like being on a different planet. Honestly, I'm walking on Mars here." She said with a smile. She squeezed her boyfriend'shand. "Derek is amazing."

He smiled. "Well, I'm really happy for you, Meredith. And you, Derek. But, if you can excuse me, I've got some jeans to buy."

After a long discussion, the pair had settled on an Italian restaurant. Neither fancied Chinese, and Meredith had heard that even the mildest foods from the Indian restaurant in the plaza could make your mouth burn. So, Italian it was. Besides, who didn't like pizza and pasta?

Derek went with a small pizza, considering the fact he had a massive side of salad, while Meredith decided to simply stuff her face with carbonara.

"Who's Dr Holton to you?" Derek asked abruptly. Neither had spoken since they'd had their food delivered about a minute ago, too busy trying, and enjoying, their dishes.

"I said, he was one of my teachers."

"From John-Hopkins." He added on, his voice blunt and unforgiving.

She sighed. She knew why he was asking these questions. "I know I didn't tell you. I just...my first two years at med school weren't great, and I don't really want to talk about it."

"The workload?" He assumed, knowing how difficult it was. He had two high school friends who went the same route who didn't do enough work and were both gone by the end of the first semester. Med school was hard.

"No- It was-" She sighed. "Home stuff."

"But- I mean, John Hopkins is an amazing school. Why did you move?"

"I got a month into my third year and...something happened. It um- I didn't move; I dropped out."

"You dropped out of med school?" He asked, unable to stop himself from repeating that fact. Who the hell could drop out of one of the best universities in the country and still end up as a surgeon? Especially at Seattle Grace hospital, considering its reputation.

"Yeah. But he wrote my recommendation to Dartmouth and explained my extraordinary circumstances. I wouldn't be a doctor without him." She explained. "He um...he's the one who noticed-"

"I'm so sorry." Meredith apologized, biting her lip. "I couldn't do my assignment."

He wasn't surprised by what she had said. He recognized the look of the student who hadn't done their homework. She'd awkwardly stood around after everyone else had gone, and then slowly approached his desk. "No excuse?"

She shook her head, and left the table as quickly as she could. She was embarrassed enough as it was.

"Meredith?"

She paused, and spun round to look at her teacher. "Yes?"

"Come back."

She swallowed, and walked back over to his desk.

"Are you doing okay?" He asked in a soft, genuine voice.

She smiled. Forced a smile, even. "I'm fine."

"You haven't seemed like yourself recently."

"Just...a lot of work. Med school is hard."

"Is that why you didn't do my assignment?" He asked. He wasn't accusing nor angry, more interested. Honestly, he was concerned.

"Um- yeah." She agreed, seeing as he'd handed her the option.

"That was a lie." He stated, completely sure of himself.

She swallowed, but didn't speak.

"I know you're not wasting your time with friends because you don't talk to anyone anymore. Bethany and Harry- you used to talk to them a lot. Did something happen there?"

"I stopped going out with them to bars and restaurants and stuff, and they decided they didn't want to talk to me anymore."

"Why did you stop going out? You know I encourage spending time with friends to de-stress."

"I just...I did. Okay?"

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry." He apologized, standing. "It's just me and the other teachers have noticed that recently you've been-"

"That I what?" She interrupted at a shout. Him and the other teachers? They were having what- meetings, chats about her in the break room, in the halls, with other students?

"You're an amazing student Meredith. And that means I can tell that something in your personal life is seriously impacting you and if we can help-"

"Well you can't, okay?" She spat, eyes watering now. "You can't help. No one can help. So just leave me the hell alone."

All the man could do was sigh when she slammed the door, and presumably ran off to a toilet to cry.

"Noticed what?" Derek asked, concerned.

She didn't reply for a long second as she stared at him before swallowing and answering, "It's a long story."

"Because it's sad- or traumatic, right? That's why you don't want to tell me?" He suggested. He got it. He so, so got it.

She swallowed, and nodded.

He smiled. "That's okay. Just- tell me one day, alright?"

"Derek."

"Mmm?"

"Have I told you how much I love you recently?"