AUTHOR'S NOTE: I liiiiiive! Also: I have three kids now, ages four and under! This is another way of saying, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! NOW THERE ARE THREE OF THEM! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" (As for how this impacts IA: I'm gonna just DO WHAT I CAN to keep the updates coming at a reasonable rate, m'kay?) XD Sorry that this took me so long. I will have everyone know that I not only wrote a lot of this chapter while in labor, but also that I HAD CONTRACTIONS FOR A MONTH. And that was maybe THE MOST NERVE-WRACKING MONTH OF MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE. (For all the young women currently panicking that this may someday happen to you: don't worry, for most of that month, they really weren't all that bad. Just… *eye twitches*… SO NERVE-WRACKING, constantly wondering, "AM I IN LABOR? IS THIS A BABY!? OR IS IT JUST GAS!? WHO COULD TELL; MY ORGANS ARE SQUASHED")
Regarding Disney's movie Wish: From all the things I've seen of people saying that they would have preferred a more reserved/bookish version of Asha for her role in the story, along with the concept art's spritely, flying "Starboy" personification of the Wishing Star as her love interest (see also the demo of the song "At All Costs"), I maintain that this version of the adorable "Starsha" ship is literally just OG Jelsa, in a different font. I will fight you on this point. Also, I have listened to that song WAY too many times.
ANYHOO. I'm really grateful to have *finally* finished this chapter, and honestly, I'm pretty darned proud of it. Let's hope I don't live to feel cringey about those words. Thanks for reading, I love and have seriously missed you all, and HAVE A FANTABULOUS VALENTINE'S DAY!
~NNT:)
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100: FANTASY
"How do you feel about blindfolds?"
Queen Elsa jolted, her eyebrows jumping at the question. "I—"
"—For the surprise," Jack corrected quickly, his face flushing. "That's all. And—then taking it off."
"Oh. Um, that's fine, then."
She relaxed, feeling like she was drowning in his beautiful—albeit, nervous-looking—smile. After the first part of their date in the Americas, the Spirit of Winter had used the magic snowglobe again to transport them here. And then, telling her of a "surprise" that he'd quickly needed to finish getting prepared, he had dropped her off at this spot in the forest, flying away for what couldn't have been more than a grand total of three minutes before returning.
"You came back really fast," Queen Elsa commented, starting to swirl her hands in the air. "Is everything really ready?"
Shinggg!
A soft, light blue blindfold of ice floated down over her palms, glistening in the moonlight. Jack nodded.
"Should be," he responded.
Elsa handed over the strip of icy cloth, and he took it. Holding it up towards the moon and squinting to make sure it was opaque, Jack then shrugged.
"Aaaand… I had a little help," he admitted, "He's chilling outside now. I figured we could take him back afterwards."
Elsa wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but she was cut off as Jack stepped around behind her, lowering the blindfold over her eyes. Her breath catching, she could feel the drop in temperature from his presence behind her, his freezing hands brushing past her hair as he secured the strip of cloth into place.
His hands lifting off, Elsa felt strangely alone as she stood in her now-darkened world, the chill of the ice over her eyes both intimidating and comforting at the same time. But she didn't have to wonder where her companion was for long.
Jack Frost cleared his throat, and Elsa instinctively turned her head in the direction of the sound. As if to further reassure her, he picked up her hand.
"Okay. Um," he started awkwardly, "If—if I can pick you up now, I can take us there. It's just over this ridge."
She nodded, saying nothing. After what was clearly a moment of hesitation, she then felt Jack pull her hand up around his shoulders, then in turn taking her opposite one and joining them together behind his neck. He let out his breath, placing his first arm on her upper back, with his other behind her legs.
Elsa's heart skipped a beat as the Spirit of Winter then scooped her up, his freezing touch sending a jolt of electricity over her skin. Breathless, she held on to him slightly tighter as Jack then bent down, and shot them into the air.
The flight over the trees lasted for hardly a minute before they were touching back down again, with the Guardian setting her onto her feet. Elsa started to reach for her blindfold, but was quickly caught by Jack's hand.
"Ah-ah-ah," he chided. "Not yet, your majesty."
"Then, when?"
He didn't respond at first, but silently took her hands again, giving her a gentle tug to start walking forward. She did so, and—about twenty paces later—the Guardian came to a stop. Her pulse quickening, the Snow Queen felt him drop her hands and step away.
"Now," he said.
Reaching up to the blindfold, she flicked her fingers over the icy cloth to disintegrate it in the back, her eyelids still closed as it fell away from them. Nearly dying with anticipation, the Fifth Spirit then gathered her wits, drawing herself up and opening her eyes.
Elsa's breath caught in her throat.
Her eyes bulged, and both of her hands flew to her heart. She was standing in their ice ballroom… the one they'd first built, on their very first date, which now seemed so long ago. But now, all around her, in every direction, were dozens and dozens of lights—tiny, individual flickering candle flames, all dancing in countless reflections into and throughout the grand dome of the crystalline ballroom, the entire structure glistening. But this wasn't just the shine of prefect, stunning ice. All of the flames, hundreds, thousands of them, were seeming to almost pulse together as they flickered from every direction, like the ballroom itself was somehow alive, beckoning to her and pulling her inside. It was the most unspeakably beautiful thing that she had ever seen.
It was too much.
Elsa's hands flew to her mouth, her vision blurring. She whipped around to face him, their eyes meeting as her head started to swim. Jack Frost was smiling sheepishly, standing in silence and watching her reaction, and the Fifth Spirit's hands flew to her mouth as she whipped back around to look up into the impossibly gorgeous dome above them once again.
She blinked rapidly, the tears threatening to overflow. Her heart pounding, Elsa then spun around, quickly pacing away in overwhelm. She couldn't. It was—he—!
Her walk turning into a run, the Snow Queen stumbled out onto the balcony, gasping for breath as she ran up to the railing. Too much. And so suddenly. She couldn't. She—!
"Elsa?"
Her head still swimming, the Fifth Spirit blushed furiously, feeling the strange heat rushing from her head down the back of her neck. The pressure. Without looking, she could feel the temperature drop as he ran up to her.
"Elsa, what is it? What's wrong?" Jack stammered desperately, "Are you alright?"
His shadow was very close to her on the ice as she looked down. Her vision blurred, she could still make out the flickering reflections of the hundreds of candles behind her, their golden flames catching all through the ice of the balcony floor. Into the single most stunning, unbelievably romantic setup, that—!
Her head spinning, Queen Elsa gripped the railing with both hands, using it to steady herself. Rocking back a tiny bit onto her heels—and then forward again—she shook her head, letting out a breathy, hopeless little laugh.
"Jack Frost," she choked, "You are—very—hard to resist."
She knew without needing a mirror that her cheeks were crimson, the heat in her face overwhelming. Giving herself a tiny shake, she turned away, tightly folding her arms over her chest and struggling not to cry.
CONCEAL!
From beside her on the balcony, Jack gave a tiny huff. His shadow started to move towards her in her peripheral vision as he reached out his hand.
"So why are you resisti—"
"—BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT THE SAME THINGS!"
He froze in his place, halfway through reaching for her. Having whipped around, frantically waving her hands in the air, Queen Elsa then swallowed hard, re-crossing her arms over her chest and hunching into them after the outburst.
"I mean, I—we might?" she stammered, blushing furiously, "Maybe? I just—I don't know."
Her voice trailed off. She stared down at her feet, and into the beautiful, crystalline layers of ice glowing in the floor beyond them.
The Spirit of Winter had gone strangely quiet. After a few moments—hearing nothing but her own heart pounding as she refused to let herself look up—the Fifth Spirit saw Jack's shadow move an inch towards her.
"You—don't know?" he asked.
Elsa crossed her arms tighter over her chest. Closing her eyes against the overwhelm of emotion, she shook her head, another disbelieving little breath of a laugh escaping from her lips.
"Jack, this—this is incredible!" she enunciated, stepping back and gesturing to the ballroom through the open doors as a confused, sheepish smile began to tug at the edges of Jack's mouth, "All the time this must have taken you, and the—the candles, and—and look at this! This EFFORT! And when you don't even—!"
She cut herself off, blushing furiously as the confession came terrifyingly close to falling off of her lips. Taking a deep breath and mustering every shred of courage that she possessed, Elsa crossed her arms over her chest once again.
"Want—me," she squeaked helplessly.
A tense, tight silence fell over the ice balcony.
"I—do—want you?" Jack stammered, "Elsa, how—h-how could you not think that I—"
"—Long. Term. Jack."
The Guardian abruptly stopped talking, snapping his mouth shut and staring at her in shock. Taking a tiny step back away from him, Elsa swallowed, flurries of snow beginning to materialize from the air.
"Look. I—I know you like me physically," she choked out, "And, that's—flattering. Really! It is! And I love spending time with you, and, and we have a lot of fun together, but—"
Her voice trailed off, and her face flushed. The Fifth Spirit gave her head a vigorous shake.
"I can't put my whole heart into a boy who only sees me as a two-week fling!"
Jack's eyes widened. After a few moments of complete bafflement, he opened his mouth to speak, then closing it for a second before trying again.
"What?" he squeaked.
She scoffed at herself, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. "I don't want to pressure you. I don't want to make you feel like you have to be someone you're not," Elsa blurted, the words coming faster and faster, "But I—I can't do passing fancy, Jack. Getting into an intentionally temporary relationship, is—no. Just, no. Even if you only see me as an object, and if you just like me for my body and that's it…"
She laughed bitterly, shaking her head and looking down. Feeling the tears of humiliation starting to form in her eyes, the Snow Queen blinked rapidly, trying in vain to fight them back.
Meanwhile, the Guardian of Fun now looked more confused than ever, his bright blue eyes as wide as saucers.
"I—don't—think you're an object?" Jack stammered helplessly, his voice strangled, "Elsa—"
"—But even if you did!" she exclaimed, cutting him off and gesturing, "I mean, that would be awful and everything, but if you were at least interested in a long-term relationship—well," she choked, "Then it would be a pill I could almost swallow, because at LEAST I'd get to be a special object, or, or an important one. I'd be good enough to be worth keeping around."
Her arms crossed tightly over her chest, Elsa's eyes flicked up to Jack's for a brief second before she looked away again, her face flushing. The Fifth Spirit swallowed, squeezing her eyes shut.
"But if you're not wanting long-term? Then I don't even get to be that," she squeaked, her voice shaking, "I'm—disposable. Good for a few uses, maybe, before getting tossed aside and forgotten for the next one. And the idea that I'm supposed to give you my WHOLE heart, and my whole soul, and all of my dreams, and that you'd just…rifle through them…"
She paused, opening her eyes and gesturing with her hands like she was doing so. The Fifth Spirit then tightly re-crossed her arms over her chest.
"And then you'd just shrug," she went on, looking down, "And toss them back over your shoulder, and laugh as you walked away—leaving me to pick up the pieces—!"
Elsa shuddered, shaking her head again as she hunched into her arms.
"Can you possibly think of a more effective way to tell someone that they're worthless?" she whispered. "That they—are—garbage—to you?"
Jack's eyes were still wide, but now bulging with some indiscernible mixture of shock, horror, and hurt. Feeling blood rushing to her cheeks, Queen Elsa looked away from him again, fighting back against the stinging in her eyes.
"I'm not like that, Jack!" she whimpered, her voice breaking, "I can't just—have fun, and be done. Okay? If I let myself have you, then when you leave—that would break me," she choked out, "It would break. Me. I would never be okay."
She fell quiet, letting the frigid silence settle over the balcony.
"I'm not—leaving?" Jack choked.
She looked up. The Guardian's face was pale, his expression pure disbelief.
"I mean, if you wanted me to leave, then I'd leave, but I—Elsa, wh—why do you think I'm going to leave?" he sputtered.
The Snow Queen closed her eyes. Swallowing with effort, she then opened them again.
"I'm not naive, Jack," she whispered.
He looked taken aback, his eyebrows crinkling in hurt and confusion. Then, his eyes narrowed.
"Naive?" he repeated, an edge on his voice.
Elsa nodded. "This attention is extremely flattering, but if you're still not interested in a long-term relationshi—"
"—Now, hold on, hold on! You keep saying that I'm not interested in a relationship!" Jack interrupted, "Why do you keep saying that?!"
Queen Elsa pressed her lips together, closing her eyes. Pulling in a cleansing breath, she then let it back out, drawing herself up and clasping her hands in front of her skirt.
Gathering her courage, she looked back into his eyes.
"Don't you think that you would have asked me to be your girlfriend by now?" she prompted.
Jack's mouth fell open.
"I have asked you! About a million times!" he exclaimed, exasperated as he threw his hand into the air, "You've blown me off!"
Elsa jolted. "What are you talking about? When?"
"I, wh—well, in the library!" Jack stammered, sweeping the same hand in gesture, "A few days ago? When you said you needed time?"
"In the—"
Cutting herself off, Elsa looked away from him, her brow furrowed in thought as she searched her memories. A moment later, she glanced back up to him in confusion.
"Wait…" she asked. "Are—are you talking about that time when you propositioned me?"
"Proposi—!?" Jack startled, his eyes bulging, "No, I—no, I didn't!"
Elsa's jaw dropped.
"Yes! You did!" she stammered, "When you were going on and on about how great we'd do together, and, and I pressed you on it, and you were just talking about—"
"—A relationship!"
"NO! That word NEVER came up!" she countered, shaking her finger at him, "You, you never said ANYTHING about a 'relationship,' or 'commitment,' or asked me if I wanted to be your girlfriend, or—"
"—What?" Jack balked, sputter-laughing in disbelief, "Do I have to say those EXACT WORDS?"
"YES!" Elsa spun on him, "You have to say those EXACT WORDS!"
"I—!" He threw up his hands in frustration, "Do, DoYouWannaBeMyGirlfriend!?"
"YES!"
And they froze.
Sucking in their breaths in unison, Jack Frost and Elsa startled back from one another, staring at each other in shock.
Her eyes wide, Elsa could only hear the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears, seconds passing like hours as her chest raised and lowered rapidly, her cheeks flushed as she struggled to catch her breath.
The Spirit of Winter looked like he was experiencing the same exact thing.
"Wait…" Jack squeaked. "…What?"
Elsa opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Snapping it shut and gulping, she pulled in a hesitant breath.
"Are you serious?" she whispered.
He swallowed with effort. The action seemed to take an eternity, infinitely more obvious to Elsa in her slowed sense of time.
"Are you?" Jack quavered.
She bit her lip. Pulling her hands in close to her stomach, the Fifth Spirit began to fidget with her fingers, snowflakes bursting from her skin.
"I asked first," she breathed.
"I—!"
A shock of fear flashed across his eyes. Jack blushed furiously, glancing away from her. Reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck, he then bit his lip, looking back towards the glistening railing of ice.
He took a deep breath.
"Elsa—I've been alone—for a long time," he started shakily, "A—a really, really long time. Okay?"
He hesitantly glanced in her direction. Giving himself a little shake, the Spirit of Winter then drew himself up to try again.
"And when you've been—alone—for this long, you realize that—there are some things you can't take for granted." He pressed his hands together, rocking them forward as he spoke. "Like—opportunities. And—and people."
Queen Elsa's eyebrows lifted as he glanced towards her again. Saying nothing, she nodded for him to go on, and Jack did so.
"And I know that it hasn't been very long," he continued, speaking a little faster, "But—over the last couple of weeks—I think we get along really well, and I really like you, and—and you seem to like me, and—well. Given the circumstances, I think we'd be really—uh—"
The Spirit of Winter paused.
For a long moment, he stared down at the icy railing, biting the edge of his fist and carefully phrasing his words.
"Dumb," he decided at length, starting to pull his hand away from his face, "To not at least—consider—giving us a chance?"
He turned to look at her a final time, every muscle in his body tense. Just as Elsa was starting to open her mouth to speak—
"As a boyfriend and girlfriend," Jack added on quickly, "In—in a relationship. As a couple."
Watching her expression with anxiety, he swallowed, fighting an obvious urge to cringe, or even flee. Fighting down her own cold wave of nervousness, the Fifth Spirit drew in her breath as well.
"Circumstances?" Elsa asked.
He glanced away, looking down. Deflating slightly, Jack Frost then looked back up into her eyes.
"I never thought I'd meet somebody like me," he said quietly.
A silence fell over the balcony as Elsa studied his features. Jack's eyes were pleading and hesitant, but—with a clarity to them. On this point, he was shy, but entirely confident.
She swallowed.
"So…" Elsa ventured, "This—is about my ice powers?"
"NO! I just—aurgh."
The moment shattered, Jack sharply sucked in his breath, shoving his fingers into his hair. Ripping them back out, he then placed the edge of his flat hand onto the railing in gesture, glaring back to her with stern frustration written in his eyes.
"Look," Jack scoffed,"I'm not going to pretend that the ice powers aren't important to me, because—well, because they are," he admitted, a defensive edge on his voice, "Okay? And if I'm ever going to be able to be with someone, then I need to have somebody who's okay with—uh—"
He paused, swallowing.
"Cold?" he squeaked.
He grimaced at the word. Seeing his expression, Elsa smiled in spite of herself, shyly looking down to her hands.
"I'm okay with cold…" she breathed.
"Yeah! See?"
He let out a breathy laugh, his cheeks pink, and she snapped her head up, suddenly realizing that she'd said it out loud. Kneading his eyebrows as she blushed, Jack then shook his head.
"But that's not IT, Elsa," he said again, "I'm not THAT shallow! I mean, we've talked about that already; it's just—!"
He stopped talking again, letting his voice trail off. Looking down to the icy railing in front of them, he was silent for a long moment, considering it as he ran a finger along its smooth, crystalline surface.
A pensive, quiet look crept over the Guardian's features.
"Elsa… when I'm with you…" he started quietly. "I'm… not invisible."
He paused for a moment, a few flurries of snow beginning to materialize from the air around him as he shot a hesitant glance in her direction. Looking back out over the balcony to the beautiful, moonlit landscape, he pulled in a deep breath.
"Like, when we're together, I, I know that you can see me," he clarified quickly, "But it's not just that you can 'see me,' because I physically exist, it's that—you actually see. ME. And—and you understand."
The Fifth Spirit could feel her heart start pounding, her pulse quickening in anticipation as she instinctively leaned towards him, like she was being pulled by an invisible force. Jack Frost leaned forward to rest his forearms on the balcony railing, looking down to his hands. Turning them upwards, a flurry of snowflakes began to dance over his palms, and he watched them for a few moments, a hesitant, disbelieving smile tugging at the edge of his mouth.
The Spirit of Winter was tearing up.
"You just—GET it!" Jack choked, letting out a breathy laugh and fighting the emotion in his voice, "I love being with you! And you're so sweet, and smart, and, and you're gorgeous, and, the—well, your ice. There is the ice," he admitted, the words coming out faster and faster on a groan, "Elsa, you are—I mean, this—it's like, you, EVERYTHING about you; you're—!"
His face crimson, he shook his head, frantically gesturing up and down in the direction of her body. Finally glancing towards her dress and then up to her face, their eyes met for a brief moment before he crumbled again, looking away from her in embarrassment.
"You're a fantasy," Jack whimpered.
He shakily let out his breath, kneading his eyebrows and then covering his eyes with his hand.
As the Guardian leaned over the ice balcony railing, avoiding her gaze, Elsa could hardly hear anything over the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears, her breath caught in her throat. Feeling lighter than she ever had in her life—the warmth of excitement rushing up through her mind—she took a tiny step forward towards him, fidgeting with her fingers.
A fantasy?
She watched the immortal Guardian stare into space, his shoulders slumping yet somehow still tense. The confession sitting on the air, he didn't move, the silence seeming to bear down on him like the pain of a rejection in advance.
She pulled in a deep breath.
"See, I think you're the fantasy," Elsa blurted suddenly.
Jack stiffened.
"Wait…" he started, looking towards her in disbelief, like he was wondering if he had actually heard her correctly. "What?"
Elsa all but actually wrung her hands.
"You're Jack—FROST!" she stammered, gesturing wildly as the shy, hesitant little hint of a smile began to tug at the edge of Jack's mouth once again, "You're the Spirit of WINTER! You're a legend! I studied you! You want to talk about a fantasy!?"
She reached up to massage her temples, shaking her head with a breathless laugh. Feeling her cheeks going crimson, Elsa closed her eyes.
"All those years," she groaned, covering her face with her hands, "Alone in my room, searching for Jack Frost, believing in Jack Frost—and then Jack Frost just—shows up?" she enunciated, pulling her hands down and shaking her head with a scoff, "And—and starts flirting at me? And you're fun, and you're brilliant, and, and you make me feel special in a way that—you are everything I've ever dreamed!"
Feeling more heat rushing to her face, Elsa crossed her arms over her chest, smiling down at her feet in embarrassment as Jack stared at her in awe. Without even looking, she could sense the Guardian's smile as well, sheepish and excited at the same time.
"Wait…" he started. "…Really?"
She nodded.
"This time we've spent together—it's been amazing," she choked, "I just feel like I can be who I am with you, and like everything's going to be okay, and I—I just—want you," Elsa choked, uncrossing her arms and reaching towards him to grasp at the air, "I want you so, SO badly, but I just—!"
Queen Elsa cut herself off, her face flushing once again. Swallowing with effort, the Fifth Spirit then pulled her hands back into her stomach, hunching into them and fidgeting with her fingers.
"That's why I'm so confused," she whimpered.
Falling quiet, Elsa shook her head, looking down towards her feet. Her eyes starting to sting with tears—half from emotion, and half from embarrassment—she could see her own flurries of snow beginning to form in her peripheral vision.
From the tiniest drop in air temperature, she felt the Guardian inched a tiny step towards her.
"Confused?" he asked. "Confused about what?"
Elsa squeezed her eyes shut.
"Jack—one minute, you're talking about love, and marriage, and—and children," she stammered, blushing furiously, "And then the NEXT minute—well, the next minute, you're acting like you just want me to strip for you! Which, I mean, which is incredibly flattering, but—"
He jolted. "I—!"
"—But don't you see?" she blurted, her voice breaking as she snapped her head up, "I—can't! Even with all morals aside, I can't just let myself believe that you're wanting a real, lasting commitment if—if you don't. And if you don't, then—Jack, I would never get over you. I can't just play pretend for a short time, knowing in my heart that it's all going to be over soon."
She cowered back from him, recrossing her arms and hunching into them as she looked back down to her feet.
"I would never be okay," she whispered.
The silence fell once again.
The confession sitting on the air, the Snow Queen gingerly slid her shoe back and forth a few inches over the icy floor, staring down into its beautiful, shimmering layers. The patterns inside, the giant, frozen fractals and snowflakes that they'd built…
Jack pulled in a quick breath. "You thought I—!"
Elsa looked up. His face flushed, and he cut himself off. Swallowing with effort, the Guardian of Fun shook his head.
"I—I know I've been a creep," he choked, "But—this whole time, you just thought—?"
She nodded, fidgeting with her fingers.
"You were everything I'd ever dreamed," she choked, "And, and you were REAL, and I guess—I guess that's why, I—!"
She paused, taking in a shaky breath and then releasing it.
"I couldn't kick you out," she quavered, her voice hardly more than a whisper. "Even though I haven't been able to figure out what you—wanted. From me."
Her arms still crossed over her chest, Elsa bit her lip, looking back up. Their eyes met, and the Fifth Spirit suddenly found herself staring into Jack Frost's frustrated, offended—and embarrassed—gaze.
"A relationship," he clarified, his face pale.
"Yes, but I wasn't sure." Elsa looked down again. "I was just—hoping. And I didn't want to pressure you."
Uncrossing her arms, she drew her hands into her stomach once again. A few snowflakes burst from her fingers, floating down the edge of her skirt towards the ground.
She was well aware of exactly how pathetic her rationalized hoping was.
"And I was starting to think that you just weren't interested," Jack started again softly, "In—me. That I wasn't good enough for you."
Elsa startled, snapping her head up. "What?"
He grimaced. Gathering his courage, the Spirit of Winter then looked back to her.
"Every time I'd try to talk to you, we'd just end up arguing about Prince Wonderful," he admitted.
"I—!"
The Snow Queen cut herself off, her throat tight with anxiety. Suddenly struggling to remember, she racked her mind for their handful of conversations about the matter.
Had she done that?
"So… you were trying to not pressure me?" she quavered. "Because, you thought I was—rejecting you?"
He nodded. "I've been trying to respect you," he said. "I just couldn't figure out what you wanted."
"We—!"
Elsa looked down. After a few moments, she swallowed with effort.
"We really need to get better at communication," she choked, her voice hardly more than a whisper.
"Yeah."
Blushing, Jack nodded to himself, shoving his hand into his hair. Pushing it through, he then shook his head, leaning forward onto the icy railing.
"This whole time," he scoffed, "This whole time, you've—you thought I—!"
He stopped talking, giving his head another shake. Elsa watched as the Spirit of Winter then pulled in a shaky, controlled breath, as if trying to control himself against his own anger and hurt.
"You thought I was wanting to use you, and then dump you," he scoffed.
She opened her mouth to speak, then closing it again. Blushing furiously, she gave a half-hearted little nod, confirming the statement.
"Maybe," Elsa whispered.
He pressed his lips together, pulling them in between his teeth and saying nothing. Like he was restraining from a response, the Spirit of Winter then let out his breath, the ember of frustration smoldering behind his eyes as he stared wordlessly into the distance.
"It's nothing personal," Elsa added frantically, "I promise. I just prefer to—be cautious. About this sort of thing."
Jack sighed. "There's a fine line between being cautious, and just straight-up shutting everybody out." He huffed under his breath, giving his head a little shake. "Closing the door, to everyone, because somebody might hurt you—is it really worth it? What benefit could that actually have?"
She swallowed, the words hitting her harder than she'd expected.
"When somebody does try to hurt you," she countered quietly, "It might soften the blow."
He nodded, giving her a little shrug. "It might."
Leaning forward onto the railing, Jack Frost then looked back out over the landscape, a sad, distant look in his eyes.
"It's also a terrible way to live," he breathed.
Elsa stared down at her hands. Taking a tiny step forward, she joined him, resting her palms on the smooth, freezing ice of the balcony rail.
"It's better to be alone than to be abused," she said quietly.
He jumped, her voice jolting him back into the moment. "Well—yeah. Sure," Jack nodded, straightening, "I get that. I mean, that makes sense. But—!"
He cut himself off. Looking down to the railing just as she was looking up from it, he deliberated for a long moment, visibly struggling to choose his words.
"But what if we were never—" He paused, wetting his lips. "Meant—to be alone?"
He turned towards her, and their eyes met.
"Being alone sucks," Jack added passionately.
The sudden change of tone caught her off-guard, and Elsa let out a tiny laugh in spite of herself. Then, she shrugged.
"I thought a lot of men preferred to stay single," she admitted.
He tensed. "Well, yeah, then maybe they can spend 300 years invisible," Jack snapped, his gaze hardening. "See how THEY like it."
Elsa fell quiet, watching the Spirit of Winter as he looked back down to the icy railing, his shoulders tight. Giving it a gentle pound with his hand, his gaze then wandered upwards, out towards the forest landscape.
"Elsa… what's it going to take to get you to trust me?"
Her eyebrows lifted, the question catching her completely off-guard.
"I do trust you," Elsa responded in confusion. "I trust you more than I trust just about anyone."
"Still not very much, is it?"
She bit her lip.
He leaned his elbow forward onto the railing of the balcony again, pushing his hand into his hair as he looked to her. "Because everything you've said—that you've brought up," Jack admitted, his face pained, "I get wanting to be cautious, and stuff, but—it really sounds like you're expecting me to betray you, somehow. At some point."
Closing her eyes, the Snow Queen breathed in, and then out. Finally, she shrugged, huffing a bitter chuckle.
"I guess that surviving a couple of assassination attempts can give a person trust issues," she admitted.
To this, the Guardian snorted. "I… uh," he stammered, "Promise—not to murder you?"
"Thanks?"
She laughed, and he did as well. Scooting a bit towards her, Jack then leaned over, giving Elsa a gentle nudge.
"Seriously, though. You still haven't actually answered my question," he prompted, "What do I need to do, to get you to believe in me? To not—um."
His voice trailed off as he searched for words.
"Be—scared?" he said softly.
Queen Elsa thought about the question for a long moment. Once again… no one had ever actually asked her something like that, before. And thus, she'd never really thought about it.
With determination, she drew herself up.
"Well… " Elsa started, taking a deep breath. "I suppose I'd need to know that you'd never intentionally hurt me, betray me, or abandon me."
He nodded, considering this.
"Done," Jack decided.
Her brow furrowed in confusion. In mild disbelief, the Fifth Spirit turned to face him. "Wait…" she said. "Just like that?"
He nodded again.
"Just like that," Jack said softly.
A gentle silence fell over the balcony as they stared into each other's eyes. Studying his gaze, the Fifth Spirit could practically feel its sincerity—that same quiet intensity that she'd seen in the Guardian's eyes earlier that day. She didn't really know why she could tell, but Jack did, truly, mean what he said. And he meant it with his soul.
"And I'd expect the same of you," he added, pulling her from her thoughts, "By the way. If we're going to make this work."
She nodded. "Yes. Of course."
They fell quiet again, a hesitant smile beginning to tug at the edge of Jack's mouth.
"I mean," he corrected suddenly, jolting and rubbing the back of his neck, "For the foreseeable future—"
"—Oh! Yes."
"Trying this out—"
"—Dating!"
"Yeah."
"We're not engaged—yet, or—anything! We just—"
"—Should—date—first."
Blushing and laughing, Elsa and Jack glanced at each other, their faces flushed. Her heart fluttering in her chest, the Fifth Spirit could feel herself starting to smile uncontrollably, the warmth and rush of excitement shooting through her veins as she stared at him. Jack's incredible eyes were bright with joy as well, his eager smile just as wide as her own.
After a few moments, his expression faltered by the tiniest bit. The winter spirit then reached up and pushed his hand through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck as he cleared his throat.
"So… we're in love?" he asked hesitantly. "Is that what this is?"
He slowly looked back up to her, and their eyes met. A jolt shot down her spine.
Elsa straightened. Struggling to keep her voice even, she drew her fingers into her stomach again.
"Yes," she shook, "I—I think so."
She couldn't stop smiling, her chest feeling lighter than it ever had before. As the silence fell again, she and Jack simply stared into each other's eyes, awash in barely-contained excitement and disbelief as the reflections of the hundreds of candle flames flickered around them through the ice. She twisted her fingers against one another, gathering her courage and feeling herself starting to blush.
Elsa pulled in her breath, her voice hardly more than a squeak.
"Could we please make out now?" she asked timidly.
"YES," Jack blurted, slamming his hand down onto the railing and spinning towards her.
Elsa's heart started pounding, her head light as the Spirit of Winter stepped up to her, gently placing his hand onto her hip. Struggling to keep herself from actually gasping at the jolt of electricity that seemed to shoot through her body at his touch, she looked up into his incredible, snowflake-marked eyes, wanting to swoon. As his gaze finally met hers, she shakily reached up and draped her forearms around his neck, and he took her cheek in his other hand. His face flushing for a moment—letting out a little huff of a laugh—Jack Frost then pulled her to him, nearly making Elsa collapse from the excitement.
And their lips touched.
After a long moment—her heart pounding in anticipation as she waited for him to deepen the kiss, clinging to him as he very carefully held her, not pressuring her for more, and not pushing too hard—she felt him pull away. Her eyes fluttering open again, Elsa immediately found Jack's face directly in front of her own, his gaze soft as he dreamily smiled at her.
Oh…
Her heart still light despite the disappointment, Elsa closed her eyes again, leaning into his palm. Feeling his thumb rubbing over her skin, she let the quiet settle, saying nothing.
Jack's thumb stopped moving.
"Um… Elsa?" he asked softly. "Snowflake? Everything okay?"
"I'm fine."
She forced a little shrug, reaching up and placing her hand on top of his. He—was being really careful. And she appreciated that. Really.
Just—!
"I'm—great," she added quickly. "Actually."
Closing her eyes, she let out her breath. She leaned into his hand, savoring it, his touch, with her heart still pounding. He was… Jack was…!
She smiled. He was so cold…
"The—um," Jack prompted, making her open her eyes again. "The—communication—thing?"
Elsa paused.
She opened her eyes. Jack's intense gaze was now pleading, watching her with active concern and making her heart flip. Her cheeks flushing, Elsa pulled in a hesitant breath.
"If—um," she shook, letting out a nervous laugh. "If—if you wanted to be just a little more aggressive, I wouldn't—!"
She was cut off with a gasp as the Spirit of Winter suddenly seized her, grabbing her by her hips to yank her up against him and smashing his mouth against her own. On the rush, Elsa grasped at his hair, twisting it in her fingers as her legs started to tremble beneath her.
Just as her knees were turning to jelly, the Guardian suddenly caught her into an embrace around her middle, pulling her back up and anchoring them together in his arms. Just as Elsa was completely relaxing into him, Jack broke away from the kiss, gasping for breath. Gripping onto his shirt as she regained her footing, she looked up into his gaze to realize that Jack Frost's eyes blurred with tears of joy. He started laughing, and, seeing the rapture in his expression, Queen Elsa found herself laughing as well, her heart soaring, just as breathless as he was in the perfect moment as flurries of snow started to sparkle from the air around them. Staring into his incredible eyes, seeing his brilliant white hair, the frost on his shirt, his smile—!
Unable to restrain herself, Elsa fervently kissed him again, catching Jack off guard for only a moment before he was kissing her back, breaking only to gasp for a quick breath of air before going in more, and then more. As they broke from one of the kisses, the Fifth Spirit then leapt forward, throwing her arms around her childhood hero's neck into a full-on embrace, needing to hold him, to have him closer as she squeezed him, feeling the side of his freezing cheek against her own. After a moment, Jack wrapped his arms around her waist again, pulling her in even tighter.
With one specific, extremely tight squeeze, Elsa let out a shriek of shock as the Spirit of Winter suddenly lifted her up, spinning her around and around on the crystalline balcony, her high heels threatening to fall off her now-dangling feet. Her heart bursting, Elsa could not keep herself from giggling with the surge of joy that shot through her body, her vision an impossible, beautiful blur of snowflakes and candles and ice as the pure, exhilarating sound of Jack's laughter rang through the air.
They were high up in the mountains above Arendelle, deep in the forest. And it should have been impossible. But from somewhere in the distance, sailing over the trees and snow-covered mountains below, the Fifth Spirit could have sworn that she could hear the familiar old sound of the town square's clock tower, dutifully bong-ing out the hour through the frigid air.
It was Christmas Day.
.
.
.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: AND IT ONLY TOOK ME 100 CHAPTERS, and EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS! XD (In all seriousness, a number of you have expressed the sentiment that you wanted them to get together to "know how it ends." I assure you, after ALLLLLL of that angst: we are nowhere NEAR finished. Pretty much all of my favorite parts are still coming up, and I intend to do everything in my power to make that absurd amount of angst ACTUALLY be WORTH IT.) ;)